Total Drama Team Fortress
by VeralicProductions
Summary: With Total Drama Island canceled for unknown reasons, the campers are all called back to participate in a new, more deadly and action-packed show full of guns and...more guns! R&R, Enjoy.
1. Total Drama Team Fort!

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The scene pans quickly through a vibrant Canadian forest on a dingy little island somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. Two rustic little cabins, a mess hall, a communal shower; all the basic comforts of a torturous summer camp reality show competition. Waiting on the makeshift boat dock is a familiar idol figure awaiting his cue.

"'Sup!" he says to the camera with a rock-out sign posed. "Welcome to _Total Drama Island,_ the newest, most intensely dramatic reality show/competition in all of Canada. As of today, we've seen some pretty intense stuff happen, but nothing will be able to prepare you for what's in store for-"

"Psst! Chris!" someone whispered from out of shot. Chris got annoyed and slapped his forehead.

"What, dude? I'm introducing the show here!" Chris yelled back. A hand holding a piece of paper slid into frame. Chris took the paper and the hand moved away. He flash read it and threw it behind him.

"Never mind! _Total Drama Island_ will no longer be seen at this time. Instead, I'm proud to bring you the first-ever collaborative effort between the producers of Reality Televison and the Washington-based game company _Valve!_ This is _Total. Drama. TEAM FORTRESS!"_Insert song break here…and return now to a train depot somewhere in the American Southwest. Awaiting the arrival of the contestants to be is a long bus with one whole side painted blue, and the other red. Chris McClean, host of the show, stood awaiting the first arrival in a blue tuxedo next to a large, gruff looking black man wearing a black suit with a red shirt underneath.

* * *

"Right," Chris started in his charasmatic way, "welcome back ,again, to the show. Joining me is Mr. Chef H, leader and announcer of the Red Team." Chef crossed his arms and gave a short smirk to the camera. "And I, Chris McClean, am acting leader and announcer for the Blue Team. Once the contestants arrive, we'll start the process of dividing them up appropriately." A long passenger train started rolling slowly into station. Within, all 22 contestants sat and waited to exit with enthusiastic faces…well, most of them did.

The train doors hissed open and the boys and girls of Camp Wawanakwa started walking out with luggage in hand.

"Wow," said a sarcastic gothic girl, "this is a huge improvement…"

"Well," started a blonde-haired girl in conversation, "at least there aren't any bears out here. Or bugs…or sharks. Unless sharks can swing on land."

"Well, don't you worry toots" a male voice said from behind the blonde girl. "If any sharks try to eat you, I'll just show 'em my wicked kung-fu skills!" The boy in the track suit started making a mockery of anything martial artistic and eventually ended with an accidental split to the ground. The blonde girl giggled shyly and helped him up.

"Oh Tyler" she said dreamily.

"Okay, great!" Chris said happily. "Now that everyone's back again, I can tell you about your new, exciting substitution lives!" No one said anything or visibly responded. A hand was raised from a large young man who Chris pointed at in response. "Owen, question?"

"Yeah, uh," Owen started as he fidgeted with his hands, "are we gonna have food in this new life of ours?"

"Of course dude" Chris responded positively. Owen pumped his arm triumphantly. Another camper raised a hand, this time it was the Goth girl. "Gwen?"

"Is this going to be some lame, half-baked competition where the audience gets to watch as we all slowly destroy each other over a few weeks and ruin each other's personal lives, or will this be a _good_ show?"

Chris chuckled amusedly at the probing question and shook his head. "Of course not! We're not so evil as to put you on two consecutive programs like that…for now" Gwen raised an eyebrow and kept her arms crossed suspiciously. Another hand raised, this time it was a pretty young Asian woman. "Heather?"

"What's the prize for this show?"

"A valid question" Chris pointed out. "The winners will receive a 300,000 dollar cash prize, _after_ taxes, and will be given a lifetime or less of international celebrity status. Anything else?" Everybody seemed happy at the prospects of victory and kept quiet. "Great! Now, let's get you separated into your teams." Chris pulled out a clipboard with a check list and began reading.

"When I call your name, please board the Blue side of the bus over there. Ahem…:  
Gwen,  
Trent,  
Izzy,  
Leshawna,  
Heather,  
Owen,  
Lindsay,  
Beth,  
Noah,  
Justin,  
and Cody.  
The Blue Side awaits!"

"Hey, wait," Heather's voice chimed out. "This is the exact same team as last time! The 'Screaming Gophers!'"

"No," Chris corrected, "You're the 'Blue Team'. And besides, why change a good thing?" Most of the young people shrugged it off and walked over to the bus. Lindsay took a moment too look back at Tyler as she left. The remaining people were left in the care of the scary looking chaperone, Mr. H.

"Okay, the rest of you,  
Bridgette,  
Eva,  
Courtney,  
Sadie,  
Katie,  
Tyler,  
DJ,  
Duncan,  
Geoff,  
Harold,  
and Ezekial,  
welcome to the Red Team. Go over to the Red Side of the bus, double time!" With that, the Red team rushed off as well into the opposite side of the Blue Team. Soon after all the younger people were boarded and seated, Mr. H came aboard and sat behind the steering wheel.

From the front, Chris pushed a button on the panel in front of his seat and a divider closed up directly down the middle of the walkway, separating the two teams even further from each other. Chris stood up from his seat at the front of the bus and turned around.

"It'll be a little while until we get to where we're going, so just relax an reacquaint with each other until then, okay?" Chris explained.

"Actually" Noah started as he stood up to face Chris, "I still have some questions. Like for instance, just what-" Chris leaned back and pressed another button, this time bringing up a divider between his seat and the rest of the seats behind him. Noah stared for a second and sat back down at length. "Okay, fine. Whatever."

* * *

In the very back of the Blue side, Gwen sat against her seat and stared out the moving desert scenery. Trent sat beside her, acting as cool as he pleased.

"So," he started at length, "what do you think they'll make us do this time?"

"Who knows?" Gwen responded, still gazing out the window. "Probably some stupid boot camp knock off or seomthing."

"Well," Trent started, "at least we're still on the same team, right?" She gave a shy, blushing smile away from him and giggled lightly.

Ahead of the two lovebirds sat Izzy and Leshawna.

"So wassup, girl?" Leshawna started at Izzy. "How've you been?"

"Well," Izzy began, "I escaped the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) and started this novelty mug company, but then I was being pursued by the Feds because I was accused of evading taxes, which I totally wasn't, so I hopped on a train that took me up to Alaska where I joined a crew of crab fishers, but we got shipwrecked and then a helicopter came and picked me up and dropped me off at the studio and they said I was being forced to compete in a deathmatch style show to earn my freedom from the government guns and then I got on the train and…well, it's been about normal. How've you been?" The crazy girl's rant had left Leshawna totally dumbstruck for a few seconds.

"Oh," she started calmly, "about the same, I guess. How was Alaska?"

"Cold" Izzy said plainly. "Really cold. Like, if you licked anything that wasn't already hot, you're tongue would freeze, and I should know cause it happened to me a lot!"

In the next seat up, because listening to those two would take up an entire episode, Heather sat begrudgingly next to Cody.

"So, uh, what you been up to?" Cody said with all the raw confidence he could. Heather pouted away from him and turned quickly to spit out

"Cram it, dweeb." Cody winced away and shrugged it of, then leaned over to the seat in front of him occupied by Justin and Owen. Owen was sitting happily, occasionally glancing over at Justin for a split moment. "So, what's up with you guys?"

"Just hangin'" Justin said casually.

"Yeah!" Owen said excitedly. "Hangin' like true buds. He-heh, right man?"

"Sure dude." Justin said with a brilliant smile. Owen smiled happily and Cody just looked over at him curiously.

Lindsay sat swinging her legs from her seat alongside Beth, who was looking excitedly out the window. "Wow!" Beth said excitedly. "Look at those rock formations!" Lindsay scooted across the seat and peered out the window.

"Oh, yeah!" she exclaimed. "That one looks like a…rock formation of some kind, and that one looks like a mountain!"

"I know" Beth snorted. Noah, sitting alone near the front of the bus, was calmly reading pamphlet that he found on the floor. The front was titled _Team Fortress 2 for Dummies_. He occasionally chuckled and scribbled something in it with a pen from his pocket.

"This'll be easy…" Noah said in a gloating manner. He raised himself up and looked back through the narrow alley at his teammates as they swooned, cheered and babbled on incoherently. "…or not" he finished as he sat back down.

* * *

Over on the Red side, everyone was conversing as normally as they could. In the far back, Bridgette and Geoff were flirting in their harmless way with each other.

"So, how're the waves on the coast?" Geoff smoothly inquired. Bridgette tittered at his attempts of romantic conversation.

"I only surfed for a little while" she explained. "I've gotten more into snowboarding now, actually. It's like surfing, but with more frozen water. I'm getting pretty good at it too."

"That's cool" Geoff added. "At least you can't get pruned in the snow. Heh."

"No," she replied. "Just frozen." They both smiled casually at each other and drifted off again about the other's activities. Ahead of them, DJ and Harold were sitting.

"Really?" DJ said astonished. "You beat up all 23 of 'em?" Harold sniffed and replied with an articulate

"yup". DJ was even further excited.

"And you weren't even scared? Fighting off 23 rabid badgers like that with just some sticks?"

"Well," Harold began modestly, "I also used my shoelace to make some nunchuks, but yeah, it was kinda scary."

Sadie and Katie were talking at light speed over each other in the next seat down, while Eva cringed angrily over their noise in her ear one seat ahead of them. She covered her ears and laid down across the expanse of the seat. Ahead of her, Courtney was observing things warily with Duncan smiling out the window.

"Where do you think we're going? It certainly doesn't look like anywhere in Canada, does it?" Courtney probed. Duncan chuckled under his breath and shrugged casually. "Hello? Isn't this worrying to you at all?"

"I don't worry about nothing, sweetie" Duncan replied. "Besides, I know exactly where we're going." Courtney looked suspiciously at the young man gazing out the window and looked away for a moment.

_If Duncan isn't angry and he knows where we're going, it can't be a good place…But just what's going-_ She spotted something on the floor under her feet. A pamphlet titled '_Team Fortress 2 for Dummies'._ Courtney picked it up, eyed the front over, and opened it.

Tyler sighed heavily near the front of the bus. He would occasionally look over at the metal barrier sadly and drift off about his girlfriend on the other side. Once or twice during these moments, he would slip from his hand and knock head-first into the wall. Ezekial beside him just watched the scenery pass by and picked his nose occasionally.

* * *

"Well," Chris started into a camera, "it'll take us a while to get there safely, so why don't you folks just sit back and relax a while? We'll be back after this!" He pointed enthusiastically with both hands at the camera, which went to a title screen afterwards. And now, commercials…


	2. Red Team, Blue Team

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The bus full of teens finally pulled over in front of a bus terminal somewhere in the middle of the desert. In the distance, a dusty dirt trail led off to what looked like a huge, walled in city amidst the rocks and rubble. The metal curtains drew up slowly and the campers were abided to exit into their teams. Waiting outside for them were their retainers for this voyage, Chris and the man in black, Mr. H.

"So, how're we all feeling?" Chris asked happily.

"Crappy" Gwen responded angrily.

"Yeah," Trent continued on her behalf, "no one's explained what's going on yet."

"Okay then," Chris began, "I suppose it's only fair for you guys to know what you'll be doing…so let's start walking!" He pointed over to the walled structure a good kilometer away. A loud groan came from everyone present, including Mr. H.

"Hey Chris!" Mr. H shouted, "you said we'd get am airlift in there or something. You know there ain't no door to that place." Everyone looked curiously over at the blue-dressed man, who was suspiciously darting his eyes around at them.

"Well, heh," Chris began reluctantly, "funny thing. The Air Service refused our offer and the Canadian air force wasn't given permission to enter the testing grounds. The only way we can get everyone into the place is by airlifting them like two at a time through Valve's private helicopter…but we need to get close before that."

"Wait!" Heather shouted as she stepped forward. "I refuse to move unless we get a clear explanation as to what we're doing and why we're here!"

"Yeah!" Lindsay shouted, moving up beside her. "Me too!"

"And me as well!" Owen blurted.

"Yeah, give us answers!" Courtney shouted.

Soon, everyone was chaotically shouting and yelling for demands. Chris slapped his forehead and reached for something in his pocket. He pulled out a handheld device with a large, single button and placed it on the ground. Then stomped on it. A huge beam of light shot up into the air and projected a holographic screen in the dry air, on which a man cloaked in shadows sat behind am equally dark desk.

"Hello, Chris" the man hissed in a villainous tone. "We here at the network would lie to applaude your efforts with the _Total Drama Island_ project. Sadly, the funding for your show, as well as the staggering death count among the interns, has left us no choice but to shut down the series." Everyone gasped loudly, mainly at the part about the interns dying, and reeled back synchronically. "However, to make up for the loss, we have offered you an alternative show. Re-gather all the exiled contestants and have them board the E-line into America, where a train will be waiting to take all of you down to the appointed place. Inside the envelope, alongside this projector, are two pamphlets for each team's leader and a list of instructions for you. We are giving you another chance, Mr. McClean. Don't fail us!" The transmission hissed to static and faded back down into the tiny transmitter. Chris picked it back up and stowed it in his pocket again.

"…so, what does that mean, exactly?" Bridgette asked.

"It means," Chris started enthusiastically, "that we're doing a new show from the ground up. Forget all your past troubles on the Island, because there's no water out here in the desert! Now, Blue Team! Fall in and march!" He swung his arm and pointed in the direction of the structure. After a moment of curious, suspicious hesitation, the boys and girls of blue team picked up their bags and started off.

"Red Team!" Mr. H shouted commandingly. "Which one of you worms picked up the pamphlet off the floor?" The tone that he asked this question with was enough to force Courtney to discreetly tuck said pamphlet into her pants. Mr. H paced back and forth in front of the ranks slowly, glaring through his dark shades at each teen. Most of them shook, some of them snarled back, and Ezekial was on the border of wetting himself.

"None of you?" he gruffly shouted. "Too bad. Whoever picked it up would've been officially declared the team leader. I guess I'm gonna have to--"

"I picked it up!" Courtney gleefully shouted. She was waving it in the air over her head. Everyone looked at her with spite for not only taking it so stealthily but also for hiding it initially. Mr. H strode over to her, leaned down menacingly and snatched it away. He eyed it over for a brief moment, then handed it back.

"Read it" he commanded briefly, "Cover to cover." Courtney leaned back and nodded sheepishly, then opened the small book and began reading as fast as possible. "As for the rest of you!" Mr. H yelled as he continued pacing. He pulled out a small device with a button on it. He held it up high for everyone to see, then pressed on it hard. "We're taking the easy way!" Out of nowhere, four huge SUVs appeared out of the sand with revved engines and full tanks. The teens cheered and ran over to board the vehicles.

"Drive if you can and head for the Red entrance!" Mr. H shouted as he jogged into the back. One by one the cars sped off toward the walled structure.

* * *

After the short yet lengthy hike across the burning plains of the totally random wasteland they were in, the Blur team was finally inside the air-conditioned building. From the entrance they took, it was only a few hallways until they were situated in a huge Locker room with nine huge lockers against the wall…and no door. Once the last of them, Noah, was through the door it slammed shut and disappeared.

"Uh, Anyone else creeped out here?" Noah said nonchalantly as he pointed to the blank wall.

"Are we all supposed to change in here?" Lindsay said in shock. "TOGETHER?"

"I'm fine with that" Owen said suggestively. Justin elbowed him with a smirk of his own.

"Ugh!" Gwen grunted disgustedly. "This is so typical. They stick us in some random place with no supervision or directions, then they just disappear!" Trent felt the need to move over to her for comfort, but was halted beforehand by a high whine from the speakers in the corners of the room.

"Wassup!?" Chris shouted through the speakers, causing painful feedback. "Sorry about the confusion, folks! Now that we're all here, I'll let your team leader pick your classes. Just talk to them for the rules, which they should know by now." After that suspenseful finish, the speakers hissed off. A moment went by and no one moved.

"All right" Noah said in his superior way, "let's all gather around so I can pick your classes."

"And who says you're the leader, chump?" Leshawna quickly pointed out.

"Well, do you know the rules?" Noah patronized.

"Do you?" Heather butted in. "I'm the most charismatic person here, so I should lead!"

"I agree!" Lindsay shouted. Gwen glared derisively at her.

"Well, let's just take a vote then, shall we?" Noah offered. "This is _Team Fortress_, a game in which I have a top ten national ranking online. A game I can play with my eyes closed if need be and one that I know in and out from months of overexposure in my off time. Can either of you ladies admit to that much experience?"

Leshawna shifted uneasily and shook her head.

"Pff" Heather spat. "Of course not. I'm not some kind of super-geek loser like you!" Noah nodded victoriously at her comment.

"So, you don't know anything about this game?" he said. Heather's posture dropped upon her realizing what she had just done.

"Yeah well," she attempted again, "what makes you sure that's what we're playing?"

Noah's response was to simply flash the brochure at her and stow it away in his pocket.

"So," Noah said slyly. "Who's for me?" Cody, Owen and Justin's hands went up all at once. "Three. Nice. Just two more and I win"

"Nice math, nerd" Heather spat out with renewed confidence, "but with eleven people you need a six vote majority. How can you lead us all with such bad skills at such a simple thing?"

"I vote for Heather!" Lindsay shouted as she repositioned herself to her side of the room.

"Me too!" Beth cheered.

"Well, we're both voting for ourselves, right?" Noah pointed out. "Those votes outstanding, that's a five majority out of nine," Noah pointed behind his with his thumb and cocked his brow, "and I'm winning." Heather seethed.

"Well what about me!?" Leshawna shouted. "That little book has all the rules and stuff we need to know to win, so any one of us can be the leader, right?" Cody and Owen, both fearful of her, looked at each other.

"Well that's fine" Noah began neutrally, "but then an eight person vote divided three ways come down to a three person majority to tie, which I have. If you can convince Gwen, Trent and Izzy to go with you then you'll be fine. Otherwise, there's no point." Leshawna was awestruck at his logic. Even if she could get the book from him democratically, could she understand it.

"I'll tell you one thing right now you uppity little punk!" Leshawna threatened as she stomped over. Now face to face with an unflinching, straight Noah, she finished by raising her fist up and extending her fingers. "You better know what you're doin'" Noah smiled triumphantly as Leshawna moved behind him. Heather shook with rage, but calmed herself down. Noah had four votes and she only had two, but there were three people left.

_If I get Trent then Gwen will follow along like a puppy, and Izzy is just plain crazy. If I can follow her logic to convince her, then I'll…_ "Hey" Heather started. "Where's crazy girl?" Everyone looked around a few times, hoping to see her. Out of the corner of the room sparked a bright flame and hissed a dangerous gas.

"What's this do!?" Izzy shouted as she pulled the trigger, igniting and firing the flame-thrower she had picked up recently at everyone. With the exception of a very calm Noah, everyone was in a panic and running around. "Cool! It's a 'Burn Things' button!"

"Is my butt on fire!?" Owen shouted as he bent over. Noah waved his hand dejectedly at everyone.

"Calm down!" Noah shouted. "She can't hurt us, per say. There's no friendly fire in this game." He brushed some black off his shirt and stood ever calmly while everyone else was very carefully looking themselves over. Aside from some smoky black soot and frizzed hair, everyone was perfectly fine.

"Ugh!" Heather shouted. "You stupid crazy moron! Never do that again!!" Izzy backed away and turned her cheek at Heather.

"Actually, that was perfect" Noah said. Everyone started looking at him funny. "Izzy plays that class pretty well for a beginner."

"Okay," Izzy started. "I'm, going with Noah because he's nicer than you are" she finished, pointing and glaring at Heather. Noah pumped his arm as his voters cheered behind him. Gwen looked up and Trent, who shrugged and they both walked over to Noah's side as well.

"Seven to Two" Noah smugly said to the fuming Heather. "Not bad." Heather parted her feet and reeled back her arms, grinding her teeth with tightly shut eyes.

"Okay, now that that's over with," Noah said as his teammates stood in a neat line against the wall opposite the lockers, "let's get our classes picked out…except Izzy." Izzy happily pumped her huge gun over her head with no effort, then fell over forward with its weight. She chuckled sheepishly on the floor and looked up.

"So, how are you gonna' decide classes, man?" Cody asked. Noah opened his pamphlet to the class list and briefing, where he had jotted down everyone's name under a class. He took out a pen from his back pocket and crossed Izzy off under the Pyro class, as he would have planned regardless.

"Your classes will be chosen initially based on your personality" Noah explained. "IF you have an objection, I can offer you an alternative. However, I chose these based on how well you would play them regardless of choice. Unless you really have something against my suggestion, you should trust me."

Everyone nodded and looked positively as Noah followed his pen down the list of names and classes.


	3. Class Select

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Okay" Courtney started with her pamphlet sandwiched with a ruled notebook. "I'll go over the classes briefly, then assign them out as I see fit. If you have a complaint or want a different class, please say so immediately as I won't let anyone change during the game." Most of her own team was glaring at her.

"Who let the uppity chick be leader, eh?" Ezekial asked Harold to his right. "We should get a guy in charge here."

"She was chosen to do it" Harold said, tapping in to his inner weirdo. "If we'd have found that little pamphlet we'd be the leaders."

"Okay, so," she began again. "There are nine classes to choose from, and they're all a lot different. There's the Soldier, which comes with a rocket launcher and high health, the Pyro which comes with a flamethrower, and the Scout who can move twice as fast as the normal classes with a close-range gun. Let's do these first."

"Hey, hold up" Duncan interrupted. "I thought we were going over all the classes first."

"Yeah" Eva agreed. "We need to know all our options before you start writing us up however you want."

"Fine" Courtney compromised. "We'll do this the long way." She flipped through the smaller book and started briefing the main points detailed for each of the other classes. "For Defense there's the Heavy which has a gatling gun and the highest health. The Engineer who builds things for defense and the Demoman who uses explosives. On support is the Medic who heals their allies, the Spy who can use disguises and the Sniper who has long range. Happy?" Everyone was already off and imagining what class they wanted.

"Okay...let's start with Eva" Courtney had a list of everyone's names written down so she could keep a record of who was what without a lot to memorize. "You can be a--"

"Heavy!" Eva shouted enthusiastically. "Besides, I'm the only one strong enough to be a Heavy!"

"Okay, whatever you think is best" Courtney replied. She wrote down the selection and turned around. In each of the nine lockers in their headquarters was a spinning kind of holographic symbol for each class. Courtney reached inside, plucked out the Heavy symbol and threw it to Eva. As soon as she caught it, the symbol transformed into a large gatling gun with a propane tank on the bottom.

"Cool!" Eva praised.

"Awesome!" Harold awed.

"Let me try that, eh?" Zeke said. Eva tossed him the gun which felled him instantly and trapped him against the floor. "Get it off!" he wheezed. Eva picked it up with one hand and slung it over her shoulder like it was nothing.

"Right, well, it says that a Heavy's best friend is a medic" Courtney educated. "Who wants to be a medic?" Bridgette and DJ both raised their hands eagerly. "Well we don't need _two_ medics!" Courtney dismissed. "and DJ, you should be something harder hitting, like a Soldier or Heavy."

"Nah, man. I don't want to hurt anybody" DJ admitted. "Come on, I'd be a great medic!"

"Same here!" Bridgette announced.

"Ugh!" Courtney grunted, slapping her head. "Fine! You can both be medics..." Bridgette and DJ high-fived each other as Courtney irked their names down. "We need more offense, though, so who wants to be a Soldier?"

"...Okay, so now we need some more offense. Who can run fast?" Courtney asked. Tyler stood up and puffed out his chest. Everyone else gave him a very judgmental eye.

"What? It's true!" Tyler defended. "I have the top relay time on my school's track team! I can be the Scout no problem!" Courtney rolled her eyes but wrote him down and gave him the class anyway. "Solid!"

"Okay, seriously, we need people to do damage or we can't win. Sadie, you'll be the soldier." To this Katie and Sadie shared a unison gasp.

"But, what about me?" Katie whined. "I have to be with Sadie or I'll die!"

"Me too!" Sadie whined. Courtney slapped her head and read down the extra notes she had written. One combo underneath the essential Heavy-Medic was the Soldier-Medic.

"Okay then, Katie, you can be Sadie's medic. Just stick with her and heal her so she doesn't die. Happy?" she finished. Both girls nodded happily and Courtney gave the classes away.

"Hey, I'm okay with being a Soldier!" Geoff called out. The prospect of teaming up with the other medic, Bridgette, was one he didn't want to give to anyone else.

"Alright, let me think" Courtney said, poking her lip and pondering. "I guess we could do this: Katie and Sadie stay as a combo, Bridgette and Eva, then DJ and Geoff can just go where they need to instead of being a permanent team. Okay guys?" The teams nodded, but Geoff was distraught.

"You figure that all our yourself, eh?" Duncan taunted. "Thank goodness you're our leader."

"Shut it!" Courtney screeched. She initiated her pleasant demeanor and went down the list. "Okay, we need some better defense, so Ezekial can be a Demoman and Duncan can be an Engineer."

"Woah, woah" Duncan argued. "Can we switch on those? I'm no good with the techno weirdness."

"You think I'd let a maniac like you handle explosives?" Courtney chided.

"Well, I have handled them before, so you should for the better of the team!" Duncan retorted. They stared each other down for a minute before Courtney politely subsided and swapped the classes. "That leaves you, Harold" Courtney said.

"I can be anything" Harold gloated. "Just give me a random one." His confidence gave way to his male friends chuckling and the others in serious disbelief.

"Okay, Harold, you can be a spy." Courtney said, humoring him. Regardless, he puffed out his chest in pride and smiled. "I guess I'll be a Sniper, since we don't have one of those."

"You think you can handle that?" Zeke said suddenly. "You got to use a big gun, eh?" Courtney cocked her brow at him.

"Why don't you think she can handle it?" Eva prodded with her gun on his chin.

"Cause she's a girl?" Bridgette huffed.

"Well," Courtney figured, "as a Sniper I should get the highest ground, therefore have a semi-aerial view of the battlefield from which I can base my directions while you're all in combat. I don't want to have to shoot the gun too much anyway."

"Why not?" Duncan started. "it's really because you know you can't aim, right?"

"You'd be surprised" Courtney said and left at. "Okay, so Red Team is officially set up. Now what?" As if on cue, which was likely, the area around the team started to shift and morph into a sort of computer room overlooking a mean looking machine on a separate floor.

* * *

"Alright, I'll speed through this list once and if you have a complaint you can bring it up afterwards" Noah said. Everyone nodded and waited. Noah raised his hand and pointed out to each contestant as he said their name.

"Owen, Heavy" Owen was excited to hear that and pumped his arm. "Izzy, Pyro, of course." Izzy shot out a burst of fire in reply. "Gwen, Medic"

"Wait, Medic?" Gwen complained. "I thought this was a violent game."

"Well, you don't just heal" Noah explained. "You have a needle gun and a bonesaw too." This brightened Gwen up and she accepted it. "Gwen and Owen, you two will stick together quite a bit. Just constantly heal him while he constantly kills the enemies. That's the best offensive strategy I know of."

"Really?" Trent inquired.

"No" Noah replied quickly "but it's the simplest. By the way you, Trent, will be our Sniper. I feel that you have the proper demeanor of patient and aggressive that makes a good range-jockey." Trent shrugged, but took up his weapon regardlessly.

"Heather, Spy" Noah continued, "Beth and Justin, Soldier. Leshawna, Demo." Everyone took up their class weapons suspiciously. "Now, for the Scout class, we need to determine who's the fastest."

"Ooh! Nathaniel!" Lindsay said raising her hand. "I'm a fast runner"

"Sold" Noah said, tossing her the class icon. "And lastly, Cody and I will be Engineers. Any questions?"

"Um, yeah!" Heather complained. "Why is this thing filled with cigarettes?"

"To make you look cool" Noah shrugged.

"And this mask?" Heather continued, holding up the spy mask in disgust. "Puh-lease!"

"It's not a question of fashion, it's a judgment of character" Noah asserted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Heather growled, drawing close with a clenched fist.

"Well, it's just that you're a lying, manipulative, back-stabbing queen of extraordinary levels and being a spy requires you to lie your way past the enemy lines" Noah explained. Heather took part of it as an insult, but the fact that she was being trusted based on her worse qualities gave her a sense of confidence.

"Fine" she begrudgingly said, "but I'm not wearing the mask."

"Fine" Noah compromised. "Well, that's everyone. Now I'm going to subdivide everyone into other teams so I can easily communicate with you based on your positions. Team 1 will be Owen, Gwen, Beth and Justin. Since you're all going to be at the front lines the most, you're all going to have the same objectives." The four looked at each other and grouped accordingly. Owen and Beth were focusing on Justin, while Gwen was just being as apathetic as possible in this military-derived madness.

"Team 2 will be our objective team. Trent, Izzy, Heather, and Lindsay, please group up." Those four also grouped up. Heather looked around analytically and moved between Izzy and Lindsay, seeing them as potential sheep for her plans.

"The last group, Team 3, will be for defense" Noah finalized. "Me, Cody and Leshawna will all be in close contact most of the time. Team 1 will be given basic orders at the start of the match, Team 2 will be separately organized based on class throughout the match, while Team 3 hangs back and defends whatever objective we can. Everyone clear?" Most everyone affirmed him in their own way, but Heather was still curious.

"So, why group _us_ if you'll just give us different orders?" she asked, referring to her own team.

"Because you guys are all basically support classes" Noah explained. "In fact, I should give out your basic orders now."

"Okay, soldiers!" Chris' voice called out from the speakers. "If you'll all direct you attention to the large, sliding metal doors, we can begin."

"Oh, never mind then" Noah complained. Everyone took up their weapons and accessories and faced the sliding door that had yet to slide.

"When'd that get there?" Gwen questioned. Noah shrugged and turned to Cody.

"Stick close to me, do exactly what I say, and we'll definitely get the glory" he whispered. Cody nodded affirmatively as Noah shifted over to Leshawna. "I'll tell you what to do when we get there. Stay alert, and don't shoot that gun in close range." Leshawna nodded.

"Alright, Blue Team!" Chris called out. "Our first map is..." the metal doors began to slide open, and the entire room changed. Noah raised his brow and smiled, sure of his inevitable victory on--

"""

"Okay!" Chris said from the privacy of the shower stall he was reporting from. "That's it for now! We'll leave you with a cliff-hanger to get you used to it, but tune in next week and see all the spectacle, the violence, the total drama of _Total Drama Team Fortress!_" Static, and fade out.

* * *

Author's annotation: the (""") means it cuts to static and goes to the confessional shower stall, much like the outhouse in the show. I don't want to spam horizontal lines everywhere, or people might get confused.


	4. Granary 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Welcome back" Chris said enthusiastically, "to _Total Drama Team Fortress!_ We're just about ready to set our teams out into the first field of combat, but before that, let's go over the rules of the game for you newbies." The camera cut to a panning shot of the first map, **Granary.**

"In Granary, teams must rush to the objectives marked by the big glowing disks floating above the platforms. In order to win the map, a team must capture and hold every available objective. This map requires a quick wit, an adaptive trigger finger and a whole lot of ammo. Teams will play the best two of three games. Who will win bragging rights this early in the show? Find out tonight on _Total. Drama Team Fortress!_"Alright" Noah instructed, "fall out! Team 1, follow the arrows and capture the objective. Lindsay, run ahead of them and get there first!"

* * *

"Aye aye!" she responded. She took two quick steps out before tripping violently over her face and onto her back. "Wait," she corrected, "I need to put on my running shoes."

"You're wearing sneakers" Gwen shouted from ahead.

"I run better in pumps!" Lindsay yelled back as she rushed back into the base.

"Team 3, stay with me!" Noah called from atop a pipe-like walkway. Cody and Leshawna turned around and followed him. "Trent, Get up as high as you can in the middle grounds and aim for the head!" Trent saluted and ran off behind Gwen and the slow-moving Owen.

"How long 'til this match is over?" Trent asked, making conversation. Gwen looked at the already exhausted Owen and back at Lindsay, briskly jogging along in fashion-ready heels.

"Not long" she said. As the Blue offense team was moving through the sheltered area for the second objective, the Red team was at a pause near their gate.

"Hurray up!" Eva shouted with her gun slung over shoulder. "The match started already!"

"Just a sec," Courtney said, taking a final roll call. "Okay, All medic-ready teams move out to the middle ground and capture the check-point! Tyler, you go with them!"

"Right on!" Tyler shouted. As the moderate paced gunners were jogging along, Tyler blazed past them and distanced himself from his team with no effort.

"Wow!" Bridgette exclaimed. Unknown to the praising Red's, Tyler was having trouble making the sharp corner to get out of the building at his high speed and was face-first embedded into the wall.

"Darn it!" Tyler exclaimed.

"Harold, come on!" Courtney shouted adjusting the strap on her gun. Harold was breathlessly jogging along behind her. "You have to stick with me so I can give you orders!"

"What about us, eh?" Ezekiel asked runnig alongside Duncan.

"Stick with Duncan" she shouted back. "He's not so brainless that he doesn't know what to do!"

"Aw, thanks princess" Duncan said from behind sarcastically. She smiled and kept going, still not seeing Tyler as she and her team broke through into the open territory just before the middle ground.

"_Blue Team is capturing the objective!"_ Mr. H's voice called out through the PA system. _"Get your butts in GEAR, Red team!"_ His threatening voice gave everyone a little extra spring in their step.

"We're doing it!" Lindsay shouted as she occupied the capture area with Owen, Gwen and Beth. The capture was going along very briskly, but Owen couldn't shake the feeling that someone was behind them. He turned around to look, seeing Gwen healing him with her gun continuously and watching as Trent carefully made his way up the high catwalk above the field with his gun ready.

"Okay" Trent said to himself. "Aim for the head and fire...I can do this" he reassured himself. "Just think of it as paint ball. Is anyone here yet to shoot, though?" Trent kept his body low and looked around, his view partially skewed by the large metal crates. "Hey!" he shouted down to the crew occupying the objective zone. "Is there anyone down there!?"

"Trent!" Cody shouted from the catwalk doorway. "You're not supposed to be sen or heard!" Trent looked at him curiously. "Noah figured you'd've broken your cover by now"

"So he sent you to remind me?" Trent said, insulted.

"No, I'm here to help." Cody cockily twirled his handy wrench in one hand and prepared to jump from the catwalk to one of the crates. He took a running two-step start and just barely mane it by the adrenaline of the fall. He feebly pulled himself up and took a moment to catch his breth when he heard the air rushing towards him.

BOOM!

Cody received a face full of rocket, courtesy of Sadie and Katie who were up on the catwalk opposite the Blue team.

"Up there!" Gwen shouted. Owen raised his gun up and pulled the trigger, but the girls were ducked away as soon as the bullets started ripping out.

"Darn it!" Owen shouted. Tyler took his opportunity to shoot at Owen with his pistol from afar. Unfortunately, it did nothing against Gwen's constant health stream, and Beth made quick enough work of him with her rocket. "Nice!" Owen congratulate, and they high-fived.

* * *

"Stupid..." Courtney stuttered, "Stupid!"

"You sure you don't need some help?" Sadie asked as Courtney continued to struggle in vain with her sniper rifle. She had jammed it after trying to load it and now it was stuck.

"Yes, I'm sure" she said scornfully. "This stupid gun just doesn't want to work! Why couldn't they use bullets that fit!?" In her rage she had managed to properly load the gun. She happily ran out into the open catwalk area just in time to hear

"_Capture for the Blue Team!" _by Chris's voice sail over the PA and through the air. Courtney growled and aimed through her gun down at the cheering Blues.

"And this little piggy went..." she threateningly said as she took careful aim for Lindsay. Just as her finger tightened, her body went rag-doll and a splotch of red shot out on the wall behind her.

"Headshot!" Trent cheered, being the one who delivered it. Cody ran past him and made a successful jump onto the crate, just in time for Noah to charge through the area with Leshawna.

"Cody! Move up to point 'D'!" Noah ordered. Cody sighed and hopped down from the crate with a crack.

"Ow! Medic!" he shouted. Gwen heard him and twirled around to heal him when a rush of bullets started pouring from the enemy's entrance. Out trounced Eva with her gatling gun aimed at Owen and pumping out lead. Gwen turned back and fumbled to heal her teammate, accidentally pulling the alternate-fire switch. Everyone looked on as Gwen and Owen were glowing brilliant blue while the Heavies exchanged fire blindly.

"Why isn't he dying!?" Eva gritted. All of a sudden, the warming feel of Bridgette's gun left. She foolishly turned to see what happened to her teammate and saw a brief flash of the most terrifying thing one could see in this game.

"Spy check!" Izzy roared before shooting Eva with the same stream of fire that offed her healer. In no time, there were two dead Reds on fire, and the Blue team cheered.

"That was amazing!" Owen shouted as his uber-charge wore off. "How'd we survive?"

"Ubercharge." Noah explained as he lightly hammered his building turret beside his active dispenser.

"Where'd you guys even come from?" Gwen asked, as they all seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"No time" Noah ordered. "Team 1, heal and move up!" Team 1 gave a hesitant but affirmative nod. "Team 3, new defense!" To his order, Leshawna started firing the sticky grenades as per Noah's instructions all around the capture zone. All of this went observed by Harold, who was cloaked in the corner and in silent awe of his rival team's organization.

"This is bad" Harold said to himself as he ran back the way he came. "They're way too good. We can't win like we are now!" Harold was, of course, referencing the rag-tag assemblies that his team was under at the moment. Aside from the medics, no one was sticking with their teammates and they only followed orders when Courtney was there to sneer at them while they did them. Unfortunately for Harold, he decided to take the secret and risky way back into his team's second point, through the grain shoot and the air vents. As he crawled around a corner, he smelled the feint stink of propane.

"Spy check!" Izzy shouted before incinerating Harold. She waited until her kill was visually confirmed, then dropped down behind her enemies line where Duncan stood with a grenade launcher ready.

"I still don't know how to work this thing, eh." Zeke said in reference to his still level 1 turret. Duncan, in a brilliant move, had coated the entire doorway above the capture point with grenades that were hidden from sight. The only way to know they were there would be to get blown up.

"Okay guys!" Courtney shouted form the hall door. "We're losing, so we have to hold this point long enough to get our offense back on track. And Harold just got burnt to death, so we can assume he got caught somewhere out there."

"Charge!" Owen shouted, rushing in with his gun ready. Courtney was in just the right place at the right time, because Owen and Gwen were coming in through the wide door and she had an easy shot. She took aim and fired, killing Owen instantly and leaving Gwen in a distraught state. She reloaded and fired again, but only managed to clip her in the leg.

"I'm going in!" she announced as she hopped over the rail and stowed her sniper in favor of her submachine gun.

"Break a leg!" Duncan shouted as she ran out. Izzy peeked around the corner and very slowly prepared to pounce, but Duncan wasn't an easy boy to ambush. "Ah-HA!" he shouted in a quick turn. Zeke's turret picked up on Izzy a moment later, but both were late in hitting her as she hopped over the rail and swung down behind them. Duncan fired anyway, hoping the grenades would ricochet off the wall and explode near her. Izzy saw the grenades before she saw Geoff, so she was blown up anyway.

"Dude, nice team work!" Geoff shouted to the deck above him. Duncan leaned out and shook his fist jokingly.

"That's not help" Duncan yelled "that's kill-stealing!"

"Jeez" Noah said, listening in from the other side of the wall near the cap point. "It's only been two minutes and they already sound like they've played this game before."

"Can we just hurry this up!?" Heather snapped. Noah gave her a nod and she cloaked her way past the turret's range. Zeke continued to pound away at his machine in futility when Courntey appeared in the doorway.

"Did'ja get her?" Zeke asked.

"Who, the goth girl?" Courtney affirmed with a chuckle. "Oh yeah, she's dead. We won;t have to worry about anymore medic surprises for now." Zeke decided to keep working on his turret, enhancing it finally to level two, while Duncan became suspicious of Courtney.

"Shouldn't you be outside?" he asked. "Sniping?" Courtney looked back and equiped her gun.

"Their sniper's still out there" she said. "He knows where I can come out to try and snipe, so he's just waiting for me. Him and a soldier."

"I'll take care of it" Duncan said, hopping down and waving on Geoff and DJ. The three boys rushed out while Noah hid from sight behind the boxes in the little room. Courtney moved forward and slipped onto Zeke's turret.

"Woah now, take it easy" Zeke said, catching Courtney and heaving her back up. "This thing's dangerous, eh?" Courtney scowled at him.

"You know" she started angrily, "I'm your leader! You shouldn't talk to me like that...especially when your turret is smoking!" Zeke darted his head over and his turret was, indeed, on fire. He started to panic when he felt his body get suddenly cold. Courtney started morphing under the cover of smoke into Heather, who had just landed a successful back-stab and sap to Zeke.

"All clear!" she shouted down. Noah flashed a positive thumb up and ran out the wide door, while Heather smirked and opened her cigarette case. "This is too easy" she said as she picked a disguise and waited to change.

* * *

"Team 1" Noah shouted to the power-hitters that were gathered and ready to mow down even more unfortunate Red. "Capture!" The four cheered and ran in. They had just blitzed Duncan from nowhere and out rocketed Geoff by gatling gunning down DJ. It was a flawless little attack that left the Reds in complete disorientation. Noah also signaled to Leshawna to move in and to Cody who had just finished upgrading his turret in the middle of the field to level 3.

"What's up?" Cody said as he rushed over to the moving Noah.

"We're just about done here" Noah said. "Go find Izzy and tell her to guard the mid point." Cody nodded and turned around, as he saw Izzy running in full sprint from the mid-point. "Found her" he said. Noah peeked out from the metal doored corner to see that Izzy was being chased by the mad bull that was Eva.

"Hide!" Noah shouted. Izzy ran past Cody, and Cody was no more soon enough. Even though the Heavy class is traditionally slow, Eva was keeping herself close enough to cause plenty of worry.

"It's no use hiding!" she roared. Bridgette was following her as close as she could at first, but a sudden burst of bullets stopped her. Two more rounds from Lindsay's Scattershot downed her. Eva glared back and saw the trampy girl closing in with uncharacteristic scorn on her face.

Eva spun around roaring, but her gun's recoil couldn't keep up with Lindsay's ridiculous speed and she disappeared inside the point and started to capture. Eva growled and charged into a stream of fire and shotgun shells. Despite their best efforts, The Blue team was unable to fell the beast that was Eva before she could beat down Lindsay with one solid blow.

"Ouch" Noah said.

"_Blue dudes!"_ Chris called out over the PA. _"Great job! One more point and this game is locked!"_ The Blue team cheered, except for Noah, and started to move up at once while the Red team prepared their final ditch play at their last base.

"Okay guys, this sucks!" Courtney shouted. Her teammates present all had disappointed looks that somewhat agreed with her. "We can't let them get this last point, we just can't! Duncan, set up more grenades! Zeke, set up another turret on the point!" The two boys saluted and ran out. "Everyone! Don't let a single soldier past those doors!"

"How?" Eva prodded. "There are three different ways in, they could come from anywhere!"

"Eva and Bridgette" Courtney started without missing a beat, "you'll stand guard up on the piping to get a clear look at everything. Katie and Sadie, stand at the point and aim for the door on the right. Geoff and DJ, take the left door! Harold..." Courtney didn't have an order for him, as she considered him useless at this point. "...uh, go behind enemy lines and try to confuse them, okay?" Everyone took their orders and headed out.

"What about me?" Tyler asked. Courtney ushered him to followed her as she headed out. It was the Red team's last stand at the final node. As the Blues came through in groups or by themselves, they were effectively vaporized by the respective guards for each entrance. Courtney hung back with Zeke's machine, which was taking a beating from long range rockets, and sniped when she could. Lindsat tried to charge through, but Eva mowed her down.

"Take that, you tramp!" she shouted in retribution. She continued to shoot until her gun clicked rapidly. "Bridge! Shoot for me I have to reload." Bridgette nodded and went to climb up where Eva was when a cold knife met her back suddenly. Heather dropped her body quietly, cloaked, and ran away before Zeke's turret picked up on her. Eva came back to her dead medic and smelled a mysterious scent in the air. "...perfume..." she snarled. "Watch out, we've got a spy!" Eva shouted. None too late did she warn her team, as Trent took advantage of her attention-grabbing voice and capped her through the head, then ducked back in a flash.

"Nice hustle" Noah said, setting up his turret on their latest control point.

"Shouldn't we be hurrying?" Gwen asked as Owen came panting behind her.

"No..." Owen said breathlessly, "rest is...good."

"We have to fight back!" Izzy shouted. "FIGHT!!RAWR!" She ran out with her gun overhead, got blown up, and no one seemed to care.

"Why bother?" Noah asked. Cody looked down from the ledge he finished fortifying and watched Heather suddenly appear beside him.

"They only have one turret" she reported "and their defense is pretty solid besides."

"But did you rile them up?" Noah asked, pumping his arm for extra effect. Heather took a cocky pose pose with her hands on her hips in a swaggered-step and scoffed.

"Of course I did" she reported. "Eva is majorly pissed and Bridgette is probably more twitchy than a squirrel."

"I ate a squirrel once!" Izzy shouted, having come back already. Again, everyone ignored her enthusiasm. Outside they all heard a violent volley of explosives and Leshawna came running in, winded and charred.

"Hoo!" she exclaimed, holding her chest breathlessly. "That's rough out there!"

"Well, we've already won" Noah said. "I don't see the point in wasting any extra effort over nothing."

"We didn't win yet!" Leshawna snapped back. "And by the looks of things, unless we get some kind of miracle, we ain't gonna win anytime soon." Heather hopped down and picked out her disguise kit.

"Tell me" she commanded from Leshawna, "who the last person to die out there was."

"Queeny" Leshawna started. "you better ask me that again if you know what's good for you!"

"I _am_ asking for what's good for me!" Heather responded angrily. The two girls glared each other down in a heated, catty way, and the boys leaned in to see who would pounce first.

"Spy check!" Izzy shouted, shooting them both with a wide spray of fire. She used up a good portion of her ammunition and frayed Heather's hair. Leshawna, however, seemed to be dead...and also very skinny. "There's one!" she shouted with glee. "I win!" As Izzy giggled insanely, hugging her gun, everyone looked on at Harold's body.

"Okay" Heather said, slowly transforming into Harold. "I'm going out there." She cloaked herself and ran out, just barely dodging a hair-twitch response from the close-by Sadie.

"No one's there" Sadie said. The door stayed open a few seconds more, and Noah moved his foot, giving the illusion that Trent may have been trying to snipe. "There was someone there!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Let's go get 'em!" Katie said evilly. She and Sadie started to charge forward, much to Courtney's chagrin.

"No!" Courtney shouted. "That's what they want you do--"

"Headshot!" Trent cheered from afar as Courtney's body gracefully landed in a heap. Duncan watched her died and glared back at the door that Trent had peeked from.

"Wrong place," Duncan started, "Wrong time, music man!" He cocked his gun and started rushing forward, ready to fire a volley into the cramped room. As soon as he rounded the corner, he knew something was wrong, and before he knew it he was on fire and screaming. Then, Noah;s turret clicked and blew him up.

"Blammo" Noah said in his usual way. Trent and Izzy pumped their arms and guns excitedly as Izzy returned into the room. "That should be enough time" Noah instructed. "Let's move!" he called. As for Katie and Sadie, Owen and Gwen had to step over them as they ran out the door.

* * *

"Uh-oh!" Zeke said in despair. Beth and Justin launched their rockets simultaneously at the turret, which would fire on them from behind cover while Trent shot at it from opposite stage. Eva did her best to keep everyone she could pinned down, but she ignored her flank on the catwalk that Cody tried to take advantage of by pistoling her from afar.

"You're dead, shrimp!" Eva shouted, not even phased by the bullet wounds that Bridgette immediately healed.

"My turret's down, eh!" Zeke shouted shortly before dying abruptly. Bridgette turned her head and saw Harold mutating somehow into Heather, than turning invisible.

"Eva!" Bridgette shouted. "Spy coming up!" Eva had had enough of Heather for today, so she turned around and opened fire all over the catwalk and on the capture point. No blood or damage sounds. Bridgette was watching to see if she could see anything, but her fears were realized when Eva stopped firing. Somewhere, she heard Trent yell out 'Headshot' just before she died again.

"No!" Courtney screamed as she charged out to Lindsay a foot away from the point. Courtney took a dive and aimed high, hitting the girl backwards with her sniper's power before skidding into the metal node. "Yes!" she shouted and pumped her arm. Then she got shot from above once. After loking up she got shot again, then she died from a third revolver shot from Heather.

"All too easy" Heather said. The pumping fire of a grenade gun caught her attention a little to late as she was blown away by Duncan's gun from the side. Geoff and DJ came charging out and shot down Justin, but DJ didn't survive before Geoff could get Beth. Owen and Gwen came stomping through the battle field, invincible, and the two Engineers had speedily built up two turrets to keep the Red team locked in their spawn point.

"See?" Noah said as he and his team gathered inside the node, "because I'm leading, we won this match a long time ago." Harold made one last attempt to sneak in, but Izzy picked up on the two Trents and flamed him again.

"_That's point!"_ Chris happily said over the PA. "_Match goes to Blue Team!"_ The boys and girls broke out into a happy, jumping cheer dance for the remainder of their time. Heather even happily cheered beside Gwen and Leshawna, while Owen danced everywhere he could. Noah stood silently and though to himself.

"Dude, cheer up!" Trent said. "We won the first game!" No sooner did Trent say that then the team was transported back to their homebase. "Wait...didn't we win?" Trent asked.

"One" Noah said. "I'm guessing we're playing this map for best two of three...alrighty, let's just do that again!"

"_Okay team. You're not quite done yet."_ Chris announced. _"You won the last match, re-heally bad, but in all fairness, you're going to play the best two of three matches."_ Noah nodded like he wrote it. Then, an unexpect message came up from their most unpredictable foe and host. _"Oh yea, and because you beat the pants off of every single Red teamer, we're giving them a little head start."_ Everyone but Noah groaned.

"How long is little?" Noah asked. No one thought Chris would bother to hear him but he replied.

"_About--_"_You maggots have thirty seconds!" _Mr. H blared to the still unravaled Red Team. _"Do Not Disappoint me AGAIN! Get on out there!"_ The doors opened, and the team went off running.

* * *

"Don't let this get to your heads, guys" Courtney shouted, seeing that her entire team was following her alone. "We need to set up a strategy that will knock their pants off!"

"I demand revenge!" Geoff shouted.

"We're not losing this match!" Courtney shouted again. By now, the Red team was already twenty seconds in and approaching the middle capture point. "We won't win because of a piteous chance!" she prosed to her gathered team as they captured the point in a few seconds, "We'll win because we're strong! Because we're smart! Because we're better than them! Now let's--"

"--Move out!" Noah shouted. Teams 1, 2 and 3 departed like fighter planes breaking formation and went separate ways to the middle ground.

"""

"Two brilliant and evil minds are about to clash!" Chris narrated. "Who will come out on top? The power geek or the ambitious young dictatress? Find out next week on _Total. Drama. Team Fortress!_...Also, we'll open up the confessionals next week as well! So, you know, look forward to that too."

"""


	5. Granary 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Move it out, Blue Team!" Noah commanded. Blue team responded with a battle roar.

"Red Team, move it out!" Courtney shouted. Her team responded with their own mix of battle cries.

Both teams charged forward to the Blue second capture node with borders of fire and bullets, with their respective captains in front, glaring each other down and the others charing into the foreground with guns blazing. The camera pans away from the theatrical poster with Chris standing in front of it.

"Oh, hi!" he greeted. "We were just testing our advertising schemes...I mean plans for the public! Look for these collectible posters available anywhere _Total Drama Island_ stuff used to be sold!"

"""

Now back to the actual action, the Blue team ran out of their base in two teams. Noah's major defense team, with Owen, Gwen, Leshawna, Noah, Cody, and Izzy staying behind and ready to fire on the first unfortunate Red that broke through the offensive line. Justin, Beth, Trent, Heather and Lindsay went ahead to wipe out the Red's on defense while their offense leaked into the trap they had set. Noah's strategic counter-balance for the teams had an even chance of working and failing.

"60-40?" Gwen exclaimed after hearing Noah's approximation.

"Yeah" Noah said regretfully, hitting away at his turret in close proximity to his dispenser. Owen stood beside Cody's dispenser below which was built directly on top of the control node. He would aim where the turret wasn't shooting if the Red team came in. Izzy was on continuous close-range recon, running around in her crazy way and occasionally spraying everyone down with fire.

"The number would be higher" Noah explained to Gwen beside him, "but this strategy only works if I have continuous communication with my entire team. Right now, the brilliant Mr. McClean neglected to include a free-speak communication system in the game, so we have to make do and hope the offensive line can hold out on their own."

"Well" Gwen started at length, "Lindsay _is_ the most important part of that team, right?"

"Exactly" Noah said. "That's why the numbers aren't higher." Gwen rolled her eyes at his joke and hopped down from the railing in time for Izzy to come back around again.

"Hi guys!" she greeted.

"Anything yet, Izzy?" Noah shouted down. She shook her head no and Noah gave a thumb up. "No one's come in or out yet. Can you do me another favor now?" Izzy nodded fanatically. "Go to the front line and check it out quick. Report back here when you can tell me what everyone's doing up there." Izzy saluted and ran off with her nefarious weapon ready to fire with a hair-trigger.

"What's up with that?" Leshawna asked. "You don't think they can get it?"

"That's the thing, actually" Noah started. "They _should_ get it, but they haven't done anything with the point yet. No one seems to be trying and no one's died yet." Leshawna blinked and looked at the door. "They're eaither winning very slowly, or they're losing very quickly..."

Izzy came into the catwalk hall and saw that her path was virtually empty. She didn't hear any shells fire as she broke across and hid against the crate. The capture point was speckled with sticky grenades like Leshawna had used on theirs. For that reason, she suppressed her deeper instinct to hop up and try to capture it herself. She was nearing the sealed Red team metal-doored tunnel and still nothing. The entire area was barren of activity, so she slung her gun up on her shoulders and walked more briskly to the opposite catwalk hall.

"Where is everybody!?" she exclaimed to herself. "They should be fighting and killing and running around screaming 'Oh my god, help! My blood's leaking out everywhere! Uggghhh--'" Izzy dropped down like she was dead, getting caught up in her own acting, when Harold came running out.

"Huh?" he exclaimed. "Where is everyone?" He too scratched his head and paced around. He stepped into his own control point and saw that the grenades planted by Duncan were still there. "I died for one minute and now everyone's gone. GOSH!...maybe they moved up already." Harold started stepping down from the ramp and walking casually towards the Blue base.

Izzy had been stalking him since he stepped over her pretend corpse and was ready to move in for the kill. She rushed over with her gun poised to incinerate the unsuspecting spy. Then, the rushing shots of two bazookas rang out. Izzy looked over in shock and awe as two rockets collided with her chest and she exploded. Harold made a diving roll away from the explosion and stayed ducked in the fetal position.

"Dude!" Duncan shouted from atop one of the crates. "Get a grip, man. We planned this, remember?"

"Well not with rockets!" Harold shouted back. "You guys said Courtney would take someone out.

"She died, dude!" DJ shouted from inside the open crate where he and Geoff were sitting.

"Gosh!" Harold exclaimed again as he rose up. "It would help to say, like, 'incoming' or something."

"That would defeat the purpose of a surprise, dweeb" Duncan said. The entire Red team was camping comfortably on top of the crates around the area, lying down or ducking into the open ones when they could to ambush whatever uninformed Blues may come through. This was relayed by Trent once he ran through the base with the rest of the offense team right after Izzy had left.

"Well," Noah started, "that's not good." While he sat deep in thought, Owen became impatient.

"Man, this bites!" Owen shouted. "Come on, team! We have to try and win! Cant'e we just get the higher ground on the catwalks?"

"We already tried that, doofus" Heather dismissed, blowing her hair away from her face. "There's too many of them."

"Now what, genius boy?" Leshawna asked with just a hint of sarcasm. He was thinking.

"Leshawna" he said. "Go with Trent and Heather to take them out. Take Beth with you for added protection..."

"What?" Leshawna asked. "How?"

"We told you dude" Trent began, "they have the area totally locked."

"Leshawna's grenades are the only things we have that can reach them from the ground" Noah explained. "Trent, you should know where they all are, or at least most of them. Heather can scout the area for a few seconds from the catwalk with her cloaking and then Leshawna will fire sticky grenades up on the crates to flush them out. Once they try to run away, Beth can take them out in mid-air or if they slip and take falling damage she can finish them off." His plan left the gathered team speechless. He clapped and tried to hasten them onward. "Go! Even if you can't kill them just stir them up!" The soldiers saluted and rushed out the wide door. A second alter they came back.

"Eva's coming!" Heather reported.

"Trent!" Noah commanded. He silently worded his orders by tilting his head to the side and Trent nodded affirmatively. He rushed out the other door and peeked around the corner, sniping the unsuspecting Bridgette and leaving Eva medic-less.

"Bridge has fallen!" Trent shouted to the team. Gwen started up her gun on Owen and th two marched out to meet the berserk girl in the field. The fire volley lasted a few seconds, with Eva pressing forward into Owen's gatling stream, and she fell. Then, Owen spied a blur of Red from the entrance to the center point. Tyler came sprinting out and firing his pistol.

"Scout!" Owen shouted. Lindsay heard him and assumed he was asking for her to help, so she rushed out with her scattergun. When Tyler saw her, his heart started pounding to the beat of Owen's gun. Unfortunately, seeing her also initiated his clumsy nature and her tripped into the chain-link fence. Owen stopped revving his gun out of curiosity and Lindsay noticed him at last

"Tyler!" she shouted joyfully. Tyler picked himself up and smiled as she ran forward with arms open and gun discarded.

"Lindsay!" he shouted back. In slow motion the two amorous teens ran for each other's arms, and in slow motion Trent got sniped and flew limply to the ground, tripping Lindsay who rolled head over heel into the fence.

"Had to be done" Trent said as he lowered and loaded his gun.

"Nice work" Noah said. "Now, move out." The predetermined team nodded again and grouped up to rush forward. Owen and Gwen withdrew back into the base as Izzy flew back in with her air of seething crazy from the pipe walkway.

"You guys! It's a trap!" she reported excitedly.

"We know" Noah said, lazily tapping his turret while reclining against the wall. "Take a nap, why don't you?"

* * *

"Alright" Zeke shouted with joy. "I think I finally got this turret building thing down, eh." He turned around to the box against the wall across the wide area between the mid point and Red base where he set up his turret to shoot anyone that came out of the entrance hall. The box, however, didn't respond to his joy so he went back to building.

"Alright, next I'll make a teleporter, eh?" he decided. He struggled to pick up his toolbox and staggered over into an open area and dropped it down. The box opened up and started to assemble itself, so he walked away to his dispenser to get more metal. "Hey this game's easy, eh?" he shouted across the way to the box. The eyes in the box glared daggers at him, forcing him to turn around and shake with fear.

"""

"I don't care what anyone says" Ezekiel said in the confessional, "Courtney is way scarier than Eva...for a girl anyway."

"""

Courtney was crouched inside a small box, waiting for someone to come out and die for her. Unfortunately, her gun was hard to aim in such a cramped space without revealing her position to fire it.

"Stupid gun!" she hushed violently. "Why can't this thing be smaller?" As she grunted to adjust herself, Eva and Bridgette came running out of the base and went back into the mid field which was roaring with the sound of battle. Eva stopped short of the formal entrance and started going up the catwalk with Bridgette quickly following. She peeked out and saw that the Blue team was putting up their offensive at last, flushing out the hiding Reds and shooting them to bits with rockets. Geoff and Sadie were trying to shoot down the flighty Blues, but their timing with their rockets and their trajectories were always off by a little, propelling their targets ahead with the explosive splash damage instead of just blowing them up.

"Quit moving!" Geoff shouted as he loaded his gun. A shot rang out through the field, Trent scoring another head shot on the unsuspecting Geoff.

"Nice one!" Leshawna cheered. Back at the Blue's capture point, all of Leshawna's previous grenades were gone, having used the new ones to flush out the enemies. Noah looked around occasionaly to keep an eye out for potential spies.

"""

"In this game" Noah said, "you can never trust someone who just walks into a room. Especially now that we don't have a communication channel to use, so my paranoia is justified."

"""

"Dude" Justin said to his shifty, twitchy team leader, "calm down. It's all good here." As Justin leaned back and closed his eyes, he never suspected the shot that rang out to be his alone. From nowhere, some phantom had appeared from the balcony and disappeared just as easily, killing Justin with a single shot to the shoulder. "I'm not gonna make it!" Justin said dramatically, holding his wound as Owen bit his hand in tension.

"I've got it" Gwen said, walking over with her gun ready. She was just under the balcony, away from the radius of Noah's gun and facing the direction of her teammates to keep an eye out. Suddenly, the sound of feet landing behind her, which was quickly overtaken by the cold sting of a knife in her back. Cody's turret clicked on and fired on Justin's position, the bullets and rockets gracefully dodging him and his beautiful mug. A few bullets impacted on a figure that raced back out of the building, then the metal doors closed.

"Spy!" Noah shouted. Izzy started spraying her gun all around. "He's not here" Noah said to make her stop, "but he'll be back. Stay on guard! Owen, keep your gun revved, Izzy start doing checks."

"Spy check!" she screamed, shooting everyone she could at once. No one caught fire, so she sprayed up near Noah who was keeping his back close to the wall.

"Not good" Noah said.

"What do you mean, 'not good'?" Cody asked nervously.

"I mean they're pushing through our offense" Noah said. "It may be dumb luck, but even if one of them gets far enough they can seriously muck up our coordinated defense."

"_Attention!"_ Chris's voice called over the PA. _"Blue team is capturing the objective!"_ The defenders cheered, except for Noah, who knew something bad was just about to happen.

* * *

"Stay in there, Lindsay!" Trent shouted. Lindsay stood dead center of the capture point, knees knocking, waiting for someone to shoot at her so Trent and Beth could flush them out and kill them. So far, nothing. Trent was sure that the weather was changing, as he kept feeling drops of water from the roof above. "We'll get whoever's left!" Unknown to the Blue team, however, the Red team was epicly outmaneuvering them.

"Keep quiet" Duncan whispered to Tyler who was on the roof above Trent. "Courtney's plan is down the toilet if he figures out where we are."

"You like her, don't you?" Tyler prodded.

"It ain't a secret, dude" Duncan admitted. "Besides, I know you've got the hots for miss Bomb down there."

"What's wrong with that!?" Tyler demanded. "She's hot, she's funny, we're both the same class; it's perfect!"

"Whatever, spaz" Duncan said, crawling along. They both reached the other side of the roof, where Harold was waiting down below with a secured rope to lead them down. Duncan clipped on his gun and slid down, followed by Tyler. Once back on the ground, Duncan took up his gun again and stared down Harold.

"Let's go" Harold commanded. "Eva and Bridgette will get here soon, and we don't want to get beat out by them!"

"Right on" Duncan said. Tyler broke ahead fast ahead of Duncan, who left Harold behind. He left him behind, that is, until his body went rag doll from the sudden knife in the back. Harold quickly changed in a smoky puff to Heather, who smiled and twiddled her knife around in her hand. Tyler broke through into the left-side entrance to the garage room of the Blue base and rushed up to the balcony. He peeked his head through the door and got fried by the trigger-happy Izzy.

"And your head goes 'BUUUUURN!'" Izzy taunted as she barbecued Tyler's body. Noah kept his cynical view straight ahead.

"Work a little on your smack-talk, girl!" Owen shouted up. Suddenly the door flew open, and Eva stepped through glowing Red with invincibility. "Oh, sweet Hotdog on a Stick!" Owen shouted. Both turrets were blazing with fire, but it didn't phase Eva. She shot them both down in seconds, then finished off her immortality by shooting down Owen and Justin. Bridgette stood behind her as she took several shotguns of punishment and retreated outside the hall. Heather was cloaked and watching in the pile of grain.

"""

"Okay" Heather said haughtily, "I was not hiding. I was observing and waiting for my perfect opportunity. That's what I do. Besides, I didn't want to die. It sucks!"

"""

"Yeah," Eva tauted, "That'll show ya you uppity little punks!" With no major resistance to stop her, Eva and Bridgette stepped onto the capture point where Izzy was hiding against the wall ready to smoke them out.

"Hi-YA!" Izzy shouted madly, flaming Eva and Bridgette together. Eva withstood it long enough to kill Izzy with her shotgun, but Bridgette didn't survive. Eva noticed her medic was gone, so she made a dive for a med pack. Something invisible stopped her, though.

"Ouch, darn it!" Harold's voice called from the space that Eva had plowed through and over. The med pack was gone, having been absorbed by the invisible Harold's body before Eva could touch it. She was still on fire, and still fiery mad.

"You little dweeb!" She shouted, grabbing the now visible Harold by the collar. "You better hope I don't get here before we win or--" she died before she could finish her threat, but Harold knew what it was about. He gulped and ducked into the shielded hallway in time for Courtney to nearly trip over him. She was wearing a cardboard box like some crude battle suit with black makeup under her eyes.

"Watch it!" Courtney said.

"I'm sorry!" Harold hushed. "I don't know why, but I'm sorry!" Courtney rolled her eyes and helped him up. Justin was still alive, and Noah was setting down another turret. Courtney patted Harold to cloak and rush in while she leaned out and sniped Noah with ease.

"Yes!" Courtney cheered. The injured Justin caught her in his eye and aimed with his god arm. He missed, but by just enough to damage her anyway. Noah's turret faded away while Cody was quivering in the corner. Justin rushed over, seeing his teammate in emotional peril, and decided to help.

"Dude" Justin started, placing his hand on his shoulder, "you've got to rebuild your gun! I need you help here!" Cody opened an eye, than the other, and looked up with renewed inspiration.

"""

"Did you hear that!?" Cody excitedly began. "Justin, the super-hunk, needs me, the brainy geek! I've made it! On the battle field, I've become popular!"

"""  
Cody saluted and threw down his box as it morphed into a mounted gun. Justin posed heroically, then died from a stab in the back. His groan was audible enough that Cody turned around and saw Harold coming out of the smoke. Cody kept hammering away at his turret trying to get it built quickly, but Harold was too quick. First he stabbed him, then sapped the still unbuilt turret, then turned around and shot the still living Cody until her was dead. Courtney watched on, honestly impressed. She noticed the health pack had respawned and grabbed it.

"Quick!" she ordered, "while they're regrouping!" Harold nodded and they both stood in the cap point, Courtney watching the entrances and Harold watching her back. Soon, Tyler and Duncan ran in, followed by Geoff and DJ, then Katie and Sadie. In seconds, an announcement was heard by the recuperating Blue team.

* * *

"_Bad news, dudes"_ Chris said. _"Red team got the point. But hey, good news! If you can hold them off for only four minutes, you'll win by time-out! So...good luck!"_ No sooner had the announcement ended than the shots began again. This time, Noah's defense was purely flawless. A turret on top of the pipe shot at everything that moved to close into the open field. The soldiers Beth and Justin were spawned and aiming down at the opposite entrances. Izzy was darting back and forth to shoot over the blockades of boxes and fry anyone that decided to hide. Gwen and Owen kept at the capture point next to Noah's dispenser, meaning infinite ammo for the brute heavy.

"Four minutes?" Noah said. "That's just mean!" This time he said it with a smile, nearly laughing. Of course, Courtney realized she was out gunned when Harold got sniped from who-knows-where and both Katie and Sadie failed to take out Noah's turret up top.

"Four minutes?" Courtney said with worry. "Oh, god. They'll never let me live this down if we lose!"

"Relax, babe" Duncan said from behind. He fired a volley of sticky grenades around Noah's turret. Of course, the professional that he was, Noah bailed before Duncan could blast him to bits. "Four minutes is plenty. Courtney smiled at his confidence, but scowled at his brains getting splattered by Trent. She shot up, aimed quickly, and scraped Trent as he ducked back into his base.

"Right!" she said with renewed confidence. "Four minutes and we'll win!" She saw Izzy coming with crazy, terrorizing eyes, but Geoff blew her up before she got to close. Tyler got wiped out by Owen and Noah was rebuilding in the corner, keeping his turret at level one and backing away.

"Cody!" he shouted to the now spawned engineer. "just throw one down outside. This is a last ditch attempt!" Cody nodded and followed instructions. He watched as a rocket started flying towards him, but Owen blocked it chivalrously, taking no long lasting damage. Then, in a shock to everyone, Eva started charging ahead with Bridgette barely in range behind her. Gwen activated her Uber and Owen activated his gun. Eva concentrated first on the turrets, taking them out before falling over. Noah and Cody rushed out to rebuild, but once they were to far out, the got knifed and sniped. The stalemate didn't seem to end at all.

"Did we win yet?" Izzy asked, hands on knees and panting.

"Not quite" Noah said. Suddenly the firefight started again with Courtney sniping Noah. With no built turrets, both soldier teams rushed in and rocketed Gwen to bits. Owen stood his ground and took out DJ, but no Geoff who destroyed him. Cody tried his best to quickly build up a turret, but to no avail. Izzy hid on the stairs to burn Katie but got shotgunned by Geoff and Sadie. With a high five, the soldiers entered the zone. Sadie got back stabbed, and Geoff panicked, seeing the cool and murderous Heather strutting towards him. He tried to pull out his rockets, but they were snagged on his pants. Just before she was able to pull out her gun, Harold appeared.

"Just capture it!" Harold said. "I can do this!" Geoff nodded and did a back flip onto the capture zone. He was precariously steadied on his cricked neck as Harold and Heather had a knife duel. Harold had Heather on the edge, thrusting and parrying at close range flawlessly. He even pushed her back a few times. By the time Heather got the upper hand, the announcement was made.

"_It's a tie!" _Mr.H announced to the Red team's delight. _"Red Team wins!"_ The offense had just respawned in time to hear about their loss from their own corespondent.

"_Not good, Blue dudes!_" Chris announced as the Blues hung their head in shame. "_We can't push the merchandise of losers! Now get it in gear and win. Next point decides the game!"_

"We did it!" Courntey shouted. "We won!"

"Great job, babe!" Duncan cheered likewise, stealing a heat-of-the-moment kiss from her before the rest of the team gathered up and cheered.

"Let's not get over emotional" Courtney said plainly, wiping her mouth. "We still have to win the next match, and I doubt we get a handicap again. Let's strategize."

"_Good idea!" _Chris said over the com in response to Courtney. _"We'll delay the game by about a minute or two to let you guys get you games together. Rest up for a sec, the next game starts soon!"_ The teams were transported to their bases yet again. Everyone was alive on both teams, and the Blue team was disappointed.

"Don't worry" Gwen said trying to defend the team's dignity. "They got a head start on us. What could we do?" Her point was valid enough to sway the team.

"Right, but now we have an advantage" Noah said.

"How so?" Heather butted in. "They get to strategize too!"

"Yes" Noah began deviously, "but none of them are pros at this game like me. If we really take out time and plan this out, we can go for a 99-1 chance of victory."

"That's still one percent, though" Izzy pointed out, getting oddly in to her role of a fiery killer.

"Exactly" Noah pointed out. "Now let's plan out that one percent together!" Noah's impromptu rally worked, sending everyone into a morale-infused cheer. The Red team was being much more cautiously nefarious.

"Okay" Courtney started, wanting to plan as soon as possible, "so we know we can go almost anywhere as long as we can get there ourselves. Let's use that to our advantage again."

"Another maneuvering strategy?" Eva said, expecting something better.

"Hey, if it's not broken" Courtney simply replied. Both teams began to plan out their paths to assured victory. Who will prosper and who will falter?

"""

"Find out" Chris said, "next week! And now, for a treat, here are some extra confessional scenes..."

"""

"Well," Courtney started shyly, "It's not like Duncan was exclusive while we were apart...Of course, all my friends saw me on TV, so I had to stay exclusive...but who says he was? Huh?...he better have been..."

"""

"Courtney and me?" Duncan started, "Oh yeah. We're good." He made a rock-out gesture at the camera.

"""

"I was worried" DJ started "about this whole war-game concept, but being a medic is great. Plus, I get to hang with my buddy, Geoff"

"""

"I was kinda hoping that Bridgette could be my medic" Geoff admitted reluctantly. "But hey, beggars can't be choosers, and I'm no beggar, dig?"

"""

"Geoff's so sweet" Bridgette remarked, "but he's to forward. He was trying to write my name in gunpowder earlier. Isn't that funny?"

"""

"Noah?" Leshawna started with a huff. "He's an uppity little punk as far as I know. But if her can pull out a win, then I can trust him enough."

"""

"I don't care how this plays out" Heather said dubiously. "I'm going to be the leader, so Noah has to go down..."

"""

Izzy was trying to touch her nose with her tongue, staring cross-eyed as she did it. "Wait." she said. "Wait, I can do it..."

"""

"Noah's a great leader" Cody said, "And I'm not just saying that because he said that I'm the only person intellegent enough on our team to qualify for an Engineer position. We just click on a lot of levels, you know?"

"""

"I'm actually enjoying this" Justin said in surprise to himself. "Except for all the burn marks that I get in battle. Those suck. Otherwise, it's great."

"""

"Oh, my gosh" Beth started breathlessly, "can you believe it? I get to go into battle with super hunk, Justin! We're like a couple...but with guns!"

"""

Tune in next week, Friday evening for the exciting conclusion of the Granary map!


	6. Granary 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"""

"I usually don't like Noah's plans because they involve a lot of running" Owen admitted, rubbing his neck. "But hey, I mean" he snickered, "I get to hang with the hottest nurse in the war. Right? I mean, I know she and Trent are an item, but still, heh-he.."

"""

"Owen's like," Izzy paused, "a big, smooshy marshmallow bear armed with a high-caliber war-crime of a weapon."

"""

Harold took a breath in from his inhaler and started his confession. "I only hope that I don't run into Izzy again. I don't want to sound corny, but fire bad!"

"""

"Izzy" Courtney started, "is seriously starting to crease me. She had more ambush kills on my team last game than the rest of her team! She's insane!"

"""

"You ready, boys and girls?" Chris pointed to the camera. "Today marks the conclusion of the first upsettingly awesome round of our who-knows how long new program. Who will win and who will lose? I already know because this shot is post-production, but you don't! Find out!"

* * *

Already into the match and the teams were moving. Courtney decided to use the Red team's advantage of the terrain and divide to conquer. Two teams formed and split up, one to the center and the other to the second base for a quick and clean capture. Noah's plan was slower, but effective.

"We set up a temporary base at each major point on the map that they can outmaneuver us on. That includes every in between route and hallway, making our way slowly to the next capture point."

"Question?" Heather chimed, raising her hand.

"Go" Noah replied.

"That won't work" she plainly said, very sure of herself.

"Yeah" Noah replied, "I'm pretty sure it will. If we know one thing it's this: Izzy is insane." His point seemed a bit left-field, but it was correct for the most part. "Not even we can predict her movements or patterns. She can distract the other team while we use her to buy our own time. Where is she anyway?"

"SPY CHECK!" Izzy shouted from behind, toasting Noah. "I heard everything, and while I resent being called crazy, I'll go along with it. See ya!" With a wave she was off and running down the metal tunnel into the mid capture point. Noah shaked off the black dust and continued.

"See?" he said, pointing back to his evidence. "Now, this plan will require total support and offense forces into a defensive formation to succeed."

"So," Trent began, tapping his chin with his finger, "what you're saying is our best offense-"

"-is an impassible defense" Noah finished, twirling his wrench. The Blue team moved out to the middle ground, facing down only one rocket team over the control point. Courtney edged very carefully out from the catwalk, aiming up high to find Trent.

"Crap" she huffed. "Where is he?" She didn't have anymore time to think, as rockets were flying her way. She ducked back in, nearly falling off the catwalk platform.

"Need help up there?" Duncan shouted, passing by with the reinfocements.

"No" she replied, kicking herself back up. "Just stop them before they-"

"_Blue Team"_ Chris's voice announced, _"Capture!"_ The Blues didn't celebrate yet, of course, because they weren't done yet.

"Hurry and go!" Courtney ordered to the troops below. "They're all right here. Go stand by at their other base while we take this back!" Duncan nodded, leading his team of off-offensive players into enemy territory and through the side tunnel. It was he, Harold, Geoff and DJ who left for the forward Blue base. So far, they had gone unseen by the Blues who were working on killing the last stragglers in the area and building up their defenses.

"Move faster, guys" Duncan ordered. Geoff and DJ picked up their pace, but Harold still stayed well behind them.

"Dude" Geoff shouted, "pick it up!"

"No, it's okay" Duncan said over his shoulder. "I said 'guys', and Harold is obviously not that much of a guy." Harold glowered them down over that snide little remark, but watched Karma come full circle as a fireball came from nowhere and incinerated all three of them instantly. Out form the blind corner stepped Izzy, ready to flame down Harold. Harold gasped, held back his imminent stream of terror-pee and cloaked himself. Izzy responded to his stealth by shooting all around her in a havocked fury with lots of ululating screams and barbaric battle cries. Harold, however, stayed far away from her as she did. When Harold's cloak wore off, so did Izzy's flamethrower. She clicked the trigger a few more times to make sure, but it was empty. She tossed it down to the ground beside her and tightened her fists in a rage-filled scowl.

"It's only fair to warn you" Harold said as he Tai-Chi-ed his arms and legs around, "that I have an online black belt from the Internet school of martial arts! Hoo-wah!" Izzy watched him moving about with her hands on her hips, yawning in fake boredom with a deadpan face. Then she lit up with a sadistic grin and pulled out her ax, leaving Harold to slump down in posture.

"Well I have an AX!" Izzy shouted, charging forward. Harold was shaking in fear, but somehow managed to block her oddly powerful swing with his butterfly knife. Izzy saw the blades catch and hopped away. Harold opened his eyes and posed fencing-style with a renewed confidence. Izzy held her ax out in front, ready to chop, and charged again. Their blades clashing mimicked a rapid-fire gun that was heard by the rest of Blue team in the middle ground.

"Sounds like trouble!" Owen pointed out.

"Meh" Noah intelligently sounded. "Just leave it be and focus." Owen turned back to his appointed guard spot while Izzy kept on furiously biting away at Harold's stamina. They're blades became stuck in a hold where Izzy leaned in to insult her foe.

"Ha!" she mocked, "you fight like a cow!"

"What does that mean?" Harold strained, breaking away and dropping his knife from the burn in his arm.

"I DUNNO!" Izzy shouted, raising her ax up high and slicing it down through Harold's neck. He died and disappeared, his knife refilling Izzy's gun halfway...somehow. "I just felt like saying something crazy!" she quipped to herself.

* * *

Back at Red base, Harold respawned in the fetal position just behind Eva and Bridgette.

"Pick up, nerd" Eva growled. "We need to push through!"

"I..." Harold started, "I can't! She's to strong for me."

"Who?" Bridgette asked.

"Izzy" Harold responded. "I can't fight her with my level of strength..."

"Yeah, that's great" Eva said impatiently, "now just come on and help us!" Harold just stayed on the floor, cradling himself in fear.

"Forget it, Eva" Bridgette said, trying to a void a conflict between the glass-skinned Harold and the brutal Eva. "We need to get to the front line again." The girls rushed off, leaving Harold back in the base to quiver over himself.

Back in the Red's forward base, Courtney and the others of the defending team had fallen back inside and were awaiting an ambush from either side. Eva was signaled to take cover, but Bridgette was signaled to break from her and go to her team leader.

"What's up?" Bridgette whispered.

"When I give the signal" Courtney started, "you and DJ are going to all heal Sadie, and she'll rush out and wear them down out there to buy us some time."

"Isn't that excessive?" Bridgette asked.

"How come you won't send me out there?" Eva demanded quietly.

"Because we just need them scattered" Courtney said. "If we kill them they'll all respawn closer to the middle point, which we need to take!" Eva nodded, respecting Courtney's orders and agreeing that Sadie would barely do damage at all.

"Go over to Sadie now" Courtney ordered to Bridgette. "Wait for my signal and then run out with her." Bridgette nodded and ran over quickly. Zeke was stealthily constructing his turret just around the corner where the Blues couldn't see it but where it could hit them if they started to capture. The point was also covered with sticky grenades, but Duncan was absent.

"You alright, Geoff?" Duncan asked, he and his amigo flanking around the long way just outside the chain-link border they had scaled.

"Dropping from that height" Geoff started in pain "didn't seem like it would hurt."

"Well, you did land on your face" Duncan pointed out. "Now come on. The cap's just over there."

"'Cap'?" Geoff questioned. Duncan was too busy cutting through the fence with his trusty knife to care to correct him. The gate was cut, so Duncan signaled his partner through the hole he made and into the empty territory. It was devoid of life, but not defense. Up on the catwalk from the Red's side, a Blue turret at maximum level was beeping happily.

"Let's take that thing out" Duncan said. "It'll make it easier."

"Dudes!" Tyler shouted from his own cover across the capture point. Duncan and Geoff shushed him loudly. "It's okay! No one's here! And watch, I figured out how we can cheat!"

"Really?" Duncan asked sarcastically. He watched Tyler peek behind him, raise up his foot and plant it just on the corner of the capture border.

"_Red Team is capturing the middle point!"_ Mr. H announced. Duncan and Geoff gave their silent approval and did the same, speeding up the countdown. The three men were happy enough, all of them capturing their point with ease and relaxation, until a rocket shot rang out. The splash damage from the blast hit Tyler and threw him out of the zone. Duncan peeked out while Geoff leaned out completely, activating the turret which Duncan heard in time to pull him and his partner back to avoid a stream of bullets and rockets from both directions. Up on the Blue side's catwalk was Beth, who was taking her aim carefully and launching with great precision. Tyler jumped and dodged around as fast as he could, but eventually he tripped over himself like he always does. He was out of range for the turret, but right under Beth who blew him up before he could say 'Darn it!'

"""

"I'm glad" Beth started "that Noah trusted me enough to let me guard the middle by myself. I'm also kind of glad that those guys showed up because it was getting pretty boring just practicing my juggling with live grenades."

"""

Unfortunately for Geoff, his hat didn't make it. He had to sit back and watch as it was chewed to pieces by the turret and blown to smoke by Beth. "NOOOOO!" Geoff screamed, leaning back on his knees. Duncan patted him on the back in sympathy, but shrugged him off as an idiot in his mind and went for broke, charging across the brief way and only getting nicked by the turret. He ducked into the catwalk room, where the rest of the Blues in the open area immediately to his left noticed him, and he fired rapidly up into the catwalk until he heard the static explosion of a turret going down.

"Someone blew up my turret!" Cody shouted.

"Yeah?" Noah slyly said, "Well let's go sink their battleship."

"What?" Heather huffed. Noah pointed to her, then to the room, so she rolled her eyes and cloaked her way over. Duncan had taken refuge up on top of the ramp way, enduring the loud blasts of rockets that Beth was firing at him and Geoff alternately. Geoff was still ducked between crates, waiting for an opportunity to strike. When Beth started to reload, he jumped out and fired on her position, but she had backed into the ramp room already.

"Man" Geoff harshly admitted. "This chick won't stay still!" In the background, Duncan's body fell from the ramp. Geoff saw it and looked over, then up at the dispersing puff of smoke from where the killer once stood.

"All too easy" Heather said to herself as she swooped down the ramp towards Geoff. Even though she was invisible, she still managed to collide with someone in the middle of the hall. She fell over and rubbed her head and sat up, her cloaking wearing off at the same time as another Heather. Both spies gave each other a stare down and drew out their knives.

"You have three seconds" Heather started, fingering her blade, "to change you outfit before I rip you apart!"

"What are you talking about?" said the other Heather with an inflection very much like Harold's. I'm Heather. Everyone thinks so."

"We'll see what they think of a corpse!" the real Heather shouted, making a tackle dive with her knife onto the other.

* * *

"Jeez" Izzy huffed. "I came all this way for nothing!?" Izzy had walked along the bordering chain fence the whole way into the open field before the Red Team's home base. Her random movements had gone completely unnoticed by the rest of the living team. She started pacing towards the pipe when the door opened up. She panicked and jumped under the pipe, crouching down in the shade to avoid getting spotted.

"That bit, man" Duncan said.

"I know," Tyler said. "Heather's getting on my nerves too." That was his solid opinion until a whoosh of flame came roaring from behind them both. Not even to the door of the forward base yet and they both got incinerated by Izzy.

"HA!" Izzy laughed evilly with a fanged grin and wild eyes.

"""

"I just get really into it sometimes" Izzy admitted. "I'm not really evil, just...uh, imbalanced?"

"""

Without forethought, Izzy ran through the right-side door into the base where the Red team was holding up. She started spraying fire around as quickly as she could, setting Bridgette and Katie on fire, before Eva gunned her down. The commotion was heard outside by the patient Blues.

"Now or never" Noah declared. His gathered soldiers and fighters of varying class nodded, all ready at their points to rush in to let the bullets fly.

"Crap!" Courtney nearly cursed. "Team Sadie, charge!" At her order, all the medics kept their healing stream on Sadie and rushed out. In their own predetermined order, they each activated their Ubercharge while Sadie aimed and prepared to fire on...no one.

"Where'd they all go?" Sadie asked. A roar of bullets answered her question. An invincible Owen and Gwen were blocking the path of bullets and explosions while their team mates build and fired behind them. Owen's gun had already out-gunned Courtney and Ezekiel's turret. The cowardly young man had ducked back into the adjacent hallway that connected with the larger, garage-type door and opening to see and invincible Sadie and her many medics charging in.

"Left side!" Noah shouted, referring to the Ubercharged solider. Owen's charge started to flicker off, so he ducked away with a few final shots aimed at Bridgette and the other non-invincible medic. Team Sadie rushed them all out, but they neglected the turret for too long and it took DJ before Sadie could handle it.

"Shoot!" Sadie shouted. "We should chase them!"

"Let's go!" Katie affirmed.

"No, wait!" Bridgette shouted, concernedly rushing over to the injured Eva and healing her quickly.

"Come one Bridge!" Katie urged. She shook her head and kept healing her injured teammates. Katie readied her gun again, having just expended her Ubercharge, and rushed out with her BFFL. They were mowed down by the collective force of four shotguns instantly. Noah, Cody, Owen and even Lindsay's letha blasts made very short work of Sadie, despite her added health. Then, of course, Katie followed after her. The Blues cheered as Heather came back from her own commotion with several nasty cuts and gashes.

"Uh, Medic?" She asked snottily. Gwen started healing her as she held her side and composed herself.

"Where were you?" Noah asked.

"Did you take care of those guys?" Owen continued.

"Of course I did" Heather replied, rolling her eyes and standing back up with her health at full. "Harold tried to stop me though."

"Heh" Gwen snickered. "Harold? You got stopped by Harold?"

"Yeah, basically" Heather responded. Then, she drew out her knife, quickly spun around to Gwen's back and prepared to stab. "I _did_ stop her" Heather said now in Harold's voice. Gwen's eyes went up and open, as did Noah's and Owen's.

"""

"Okay" Owen started. "I did _NOT_ see this coming. Really, that was messed up."

"""

"It's like my mother told me once" Justin started, "you can never trust a pretty face...except mine" to which he gave a stunning smile.

"""

Just before the knife got planted into Gwen's back, it stopped with a metallic clang. Gwen shot up her leg, nailing Harold right between the legs and he fell over in pain. To everyone's surprise, wen's bone saw was tucked neatly into the back of her pants, which saved her life from instant death. Gwen held out her hand to stay her teammates so she could finish him off herself.

"Don't worry" Gwen taunted sweetly, pulling out her syringe gun with Harold wincing at her. "This won't hurt one bit!" She unloaded an entire clip to make sure he was dead, then reloaded and switched to her medigun again.

"""

"What?" Gwen asked into the camera. "Where was I supposed to put it?"

"""

* * *

Her team cheered her on as she started charging again with Owen. Noah nodded, his mark of a job done well enough, and the team prepared to rush in again.

"We only have so many goes at this" Noah informed. "With Izzy's unpredictability and out raw force, we should be able to plow through their last defenses with no problem."

"What about me!?" Izzy shouted from behind. She was behind the chain fence again, finding her own way around the defenses. Noah's eye was twitching and his mouth was open, as he was observing a huge glitch in the program that he had played long enough to know that she was in an impossible place.

"Izzy, how'd you get back there?" Gwen asked.

"I burned a hole in the fence" Izzy explained, happily pointing to her gun. Noah shook off his confusion and issued her some orders.

"Just flank" Noah explained "and ambush anyone that spawns back at their base." Izzy saluted, smacking her gun to her head, then reeling back in pain as she staggered off dizzily. "Okay, that'll buy us some time..."

"That girl has issues" Leshawna commented. A blast of rapid gatling fire across the way broke the calm of the moment. Owen stepped forth and started exchanging fire with Eva as his teammates fired behind him. Eva endured everything with her medic's hand ready to pull the charge, but Bridgette was cut short by the ringing shot and subsequent triumphant yell from above.

"Headshot!" Trent shouted. Eva looked up for a second to see her medic's killer, but her want to aim up at him was a bit too late and the force of Owen's gun out did hers. Eva was gone as well. Very soon after, Tyler appeared from the nearest door, using his lethal-at-point-blank range gun to kill Noah in a shot and a half before the Blues could retaliate.

"Oh, crap!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Don't worry" Leshawna said, taking the temporary position that Noah's body had opened. "We know what to do. Let's rush in there and-"

"Tyler! Not again!" Lindsay ran over to his body and hugged while her team walked past her, shaking their heads.

"COME ON!!" Courtney screeched. Her teammates picked up the pace as the Blues rushed in. Noah and Cody both threw down their turrets out in front of the control point and hastened their progress as the soldiers and their medics came rushing in.

"Owen, front." Noah ordered. Owen proceeded to take the punishment while Gwen continued to heal him. "Justin, left." Justin crouched down and, unseen by Geoff and DJ, fired on their position, rocking them out of focus and forcing Geoff to misfire at his feet, causing enough damage to let Owen finish him. Noah decided to stress the limits of the virtual reality by picking up a nearby med pack and throwing it at Owen, who was healed instantly. Noah repeated this with the ammo pack and his gun was reloaded while it fired.

"Thanks" Owen said, taking the force of rockets grenades and a gatling gun at once.

"Trent!" Noah shouted. Trent knocked on the roof to signal his attention. "Can you get them?" Trent hit twice, meaning yes to Noah, and a few shots sounded out from the roof.

"Sniper!" Courtney shouted from the pipe area.

"_Blue Team is capturing the point!"_ Mr. H announced. Everyone that could fit into the point was there. Even Trent managed to safely climb down and aid in the capture.

"_Point: Blue Team!" _Chris announced. The Blue team didn't cheer from Noah's previous crash-course training, as they set up their twenty-second defense. Leshawna's grenades, Noah and Cody's dispensers to fuel their turrets, Gwen and Owen standing in middle field, and now Heather came in.

"What'd I miss?" she asked Noah dutifully.

"Last point" Noah replied. Ahead of the Blue Team's current standing, the Red team was making their last ditch to slow them down and extend the time. Form the hole that Duncan dug with Geoff's shovel earlier, the respawning soldiers and other offensive runners crawled on-by-one out of the fenced area to rush straight through their enemies line. Leading the pack was Tyler by a track, and he reached the middle ground first for the capture. No one was there anymore, no one to defend from the worst circumstance.

"Come on!" Tyler signaled, rushing up onto the point. "They're defenseless!"

"_Red team is capturing the middle point"_ Chris warned.

"No way!" Noah exclaimed. The capture sound stopped short, as the offensive team was now under the pressuring thumb of a one-woman offensive. Izzy was there, just barbecued Tyler, and was ready to finish the fight herself. Her eyes became sharp and her grin became only a bit toothy as she revved up her gun's fire control and flanked to the left.

"It's okay!" Noah shouted. "Let's run up now! Lindsay, go!" Lindsay rushed out in desperation, meeting a short burst of semi-automatic turret fire head on. She veered off and let herself tumble to a halt behind the pipe in the turret's blind spot. She panted to catch her breath, but the sound of a gatling gun revving up caught her attention. Eva stood over her with a smile, ready to fire, but her eyes went white just before her finger squeezed the trigger the whole way and she fell over.

"Boom" Trent said, shortening his own catchphrase to a single syllable under pressure.

"""

"Don't get any ideas, okay?" Trent said, pointing to the camera. "I save Lindsay because we need her to win. Me and Gwen are tighter than ever."

"""

"Nice save" Noah shouted, quickly moving out to throw down another quick-build turret with Cody on the other side. Beth and Justin both destroyed Zeke's turret as fast as they could, leaving the point mostly defenseless. Courtney was still there, and she wasn't happy. On and off, much to the malign of the Blue team, the middle point was getting slowly captured by the mystery offenders.

"There's no helping it anymore" Noah declared. "Lindsay, go help whoever is defending the middle point and be snappy about it!" Lindsay didn't confirm, she just sprinted away with her gun ready. Her speed in pumps led her right into the heart of the action, where she saw Izzy jumping about on top of the crates, shotgunning at the others below. Now, Geoff was in the capture point, trying to shoot her down. Lindsay fired rapidly with her pistol, distracting Geoff enough for the damage between both girls to accumulate and force him back to the base as a ghost. Lindsay stayed the countdown by rushing in and occupying the point with Izzy.

"Thanks!" Izzy cheered, hanging on to a crate by her fingers. She dropped down and flamed at Duncan who dodged and rolled into a health pack. He was out gunned, but he was wily enough to get away with it.

* * *

Meanwhile, the battle for the final point had degenerated into a dogfight between the snipers. Both moved sporadically back and forth, ducking in and out of what cover they had, trying desperately to hit the other while the rest of their team members opened fire on each other to create chaos to distract their opposing snipers. So far, the blazing lights of the guns only made it harder for either sniper to concentrate.

"Ugh!" Courtney grunted angrily. "Give it a rest!" The flashing lights and fragmented explosions glared the vision of both gunners, but they fired anyway. Courtney missed, but Trent grazed her and they both ducked away. Courtney reloaded her gun, having trouble with the continuous turbulence and loud noise around her. A bullet slipped out of her fingers so she reached for another. "Why can't they make these bullets more finger-friendly?"

"This is taking a while" Trent commented from inside the capture point. He was ducked in the corner, away from plain view, when he saw himself come running in through the door. He blinked for a second, then decided to go with his better sense of judgment on the battlefield and fired an instant-kill through Harold's head. "You never learn, do you dude?" Trent asked as he reloaded. Back at the control point, the stand-off was over. Lindsay and Izzy stood back-to-back with their guns Charlie's Angels style with the bodies of their foes just outside of the point.

"That" Izzy said between panting, "was a good fight." Lindsay nodded in agreement, and both girls shared a mid-air high-five.

Back at the Red's last capture point, the sixty second mark had passed.

"_Only one more minute to capture, Blue Team!"_ Chis shouted with his showmanship urgency.

"_Only sixty more seconds until victory, Red Team!"_ Mr. H announced. Courtney was pleased for just long enough for her not to notice Trent leaning out from the pipe door and got sniped. Trent pumped his arm and took out the rest of the resistance. As the Blue team prepared to move up, the respawn reinforcements from the middle ground came back in full force.

"To the last second!" Duncan roared, charging forward and firing down the way.

"Get on that point!" Noah ordered. Owen jogged up, meeting Sadie and Katie in time to exchange his fire with them. It was a draw up until he stepped onto the point and Gwen activated her charge. Although they both occupied the whole point and their teammates couldn't help them capture, the Red team's forces were thinning in the face of Owen's invincible rush. As the Uber wore off, Harold came back with a vengeance and stabbed Gwen in the back, this time high enough to avoid the precariously stowed saw. Owen snapped around as quick as he could and beat Harold on the head with his gatling gun. The capture was beginning as Harold retreated into turret fire. Trent ran down the pipe, seeing Owen under increasing fire, and he stayed up to cover the point with close-range sniping. Noah and Cody advanced, leaving their turrets to defend and moved to the point as Owen left it. The Red forces kept coming out, as the very last seconds of the match wore down, the winner became clear.

"_Red Team..."_ Chris cautiously started, _"Loses! Blue Team for the WIN!"_ Loud, victorious cheering rang out through the battlefield. Izzy and Lindsay returned to join in the cheering and dancing, forcing Gwen and Leshawna into a giddy, jumping circle that became wider with Beth and Cody stepping in. Noah stood shrewdly in place, arms crossed and a smile cracked. Owen, of course, tried to hug everyone possible. The Red team was defeated in the first game, after giving their best they still fell short.

"Sorry dudes" Trent said to the still living enemies below.

"Ah, don't sweat it" Duncan said, retaining his cool demeanor. "We'll get the next game." The cocksure attitude gave Trent the impression that he meant it. In due time, everyone came back to the victory and the defeat that each team celebrated. Heather tried to take her spot of greater glory upon her teammate's shoulders, but Noah was lifted up first mostly by Owen and the guys. Everyone cheered.

"Well, I guess that's that" Leshawna admitted. "You're alright, man."

"Thanks" Noah replied. "Unanimous approval ratings feel good." Courtney stepped out of the base in a terrible huff. Her team stayed away from her, even Eva, but Zeke was just stupid enough to try and break the heavy mood cloud that loomed over her.

"Ah, cheer up, eh?" Zeke said, moving in close. "You couldn't help it. They have a guy leading them, so there's no shame it-" Courtney's berserk anger strength let her choke Zeke with one hand and lift him off the ground. She threw him over the pipe and let him fall onto the metal capture point with a cracking thud.

"""

Courtney sat in the confession room breathing deep, controlled breaths. "I'm, okay. I'm" a pause for her to gasp in, "okay" and she breaths out.

"""

"Zeke's just an idiot" Duncan said. "We can't exactly help that very much, can we?"

"""

"_Congratulations, Blue Team!"_ Chris said over the announcement speaker. _"Please, report back to Blue base for the next part of the show: the Voting!"_ There was a quiet hush among the contestants. Noah started moving out and everyone followed him with no rush. The Red team filed back in as well, Duncan taking the now slightly calm but still dangerous Courtney in arm. The fist game of the series was over, but the show has just begun...

"""

"And so" Chris said, "we leave you for now. Next week, the dramatic vote off, and the twist will be one you will never believe! Laterz!"


	7. Lobby 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Back in each teams respective base, the contestants were gathered in their own ways to discuss the game. In the Blue base, Noah had instructed for the seats to be arranged in a semi-circle facing a digital screen on which he, as team leader, would write statistics.

"Okay" Noah began, tapping a laser pen in his hand, "according to the rules both teams have to vote. So, let's review." Everyone was on edge over the process. Noah began scrawling on the wall. "Owen and Gwen, I think you guys are safe. All our offensive and defensive strategies had you at the front, and that's how we advanced so well." Gwen wiped her brow while Owen pumped his arm victoriously. "Izzy, you basically got more kills than anyone else, so you're safe too." Izzy was happy, pumping her gun up over her head and falling over backwards off her seat.

"I'm okay" she cheerfully reassured.

"Trent did great" Noah said, "Leshawna and Cody followed orders well, Heather got quite a few backstabs and Lindsay didn't fail. Our soldiers, Beth and Justin, did great offensively and defensively as well. And of course, I did awesome."

"How come we all just did good" Heather complained "but you did 'awesome'?" Noah raised his eyebrow at her.

"Well, I'm the leader here" he explained "and we won. I'd say that constitutes a great game. Now then, I suppose since we can't objectively narrow our choices down based on skill we'll have to take a popular vote." The room seemed to get tense all of a sudden. The notion of a popular vote was stirring to the soldiers of war, because they couldn't be sure of who was going home. No one felt like they could trust each other, save a select few.

"""

"I know Trent has my back" Gwen said. "And I trust Leshawna, but I don't think anyone else will try to help me."

"""

"Me" Heather started, "Worried? Puh-leaze. I have an ace up my sleeve for this."

"""

"I'm ending this before it begins" Leshawna said. "Heather is going down!"

"""

"Okay" Noah began in front of everyone. "I suggest that we let this room cool off for a while. As team leader, I'm in charge of taking your votes, so once you decide place a ballot in the box here." On the computer console behind him, there was a metal box with a lock on it that had 'Vote' scrawled in marker on its side.

"Don't feel pressured" Noah continued "but I want these in soon. So, go out and decide for yourselves on who to vote for..." He waved everyone away, much to Leshawna's dismay, but they all filed out anyway. Everyone left except Cody, who stayed behind at Noah's instruction beforehand.

"Okay, Cody" Noah began once they were alone. "I need you to propagate for me." Cody, the well educated young man that he was, mistook the definition that Noah was implying and made a heavy, recoiling grimace of disgust. "No, I need you to use propaganda for me!" Noah corrected after catching his mistake.

"Oh!" Cody exclaimed. "Phew. I thought you wanted me to-"

"Yeah, no" Noah shot down.

"Well, propagandize about what?" Cody asked. Noah was impressed with his vernacular and thought carefully about how he wanted to word his request.

"We need someone to get the vast majority" he explained.

"Heather, right?" Cody guessed suavely.

"No" Noah continued, "Gwen."

* * *

The Red team wasn't acting as coordinated as the Blues, as they had all just scattered out and left their thoughts to themselves. Some of them had already voted and went about into the now shut down game field of Granary to collect their thoughts about the game and just take some leisurely strolls. All of their weapons, for both teams, had been stored automatically before they left their base so no one could be killed outside of the game itself. A glaring exception to the 'no weapons' rule was Eva, who was seeking vengeance on her various killers with her bare hands.

"Please stop, Eva" Bridgette pleaded, following her to try and dissuade her.

"No way!" Eva shouted. "First, I'm taking out Izzy, then Trent, then I'm coming back here for Courtney!"

"What about Heather?" Bridgette asked. Eva stopped for a second, making Bridgette smash into her back.

"Oh yeah" Eva realized. "I forgot about her...She's dead too!"

"Oh, get over it!" Heather called out from above. Somehow, she was lazily sitting on top of a crate in the middle area where Eva was ranting. "We won and you guys lost, and why did you lose?"

"Because of cheating scum like you!" Eva demanded.

"No" Heather started deviously, "because of poor strategy. All Noah's been talking about is how awesome he is at this game in real life, and none of you guys have ever played it before, right? Don't hate the players, girl" she said, hopping down from her perch effortlessly, "hate the game!" With a slight brush of her hand, she walked away swinging her hips. Eva growled furiously but didn't pursue the hateful girl.

"She's right" Bridgette added.

"Yeah" Eva said calmly. "I'll just wail on Courtney instead."

"That's not the point!" Bridgette shouted. "We have to rally ourselves together and act like a team, like they did, instead of going all lone wolf during the game!"

"Oh what" Eva started angrily, "now you're bossing me around too!?"

"No" Bridgette submitted, not wanting to provoke the short-fused monster. "I'm just saying that we should talk to everyone and get our acts together for the next game." Eva snorted, but sank her shoulders in agreement.

"Fine" she stubbornly said. The two girls left for their base, running into Harold in the open field practicing fencing with a short stick on the air.

"What's up, Harold?" Bridgette asked. Harold brought his mock-sword up to his face and posed.

"I'm training" he explained.

"For what?" Eva added. "Nerd Squad?"

"Izzy" he growled. "I lost to her in a melee fight last time. Next time, I won't have an excuse for losing. I'll get stronger between matches even if my body can't take it!" As he resumed his thrusts and parries, the girls shook their heads in amusement and walked through to the shack-like building. Duncan and his male cohorts Geoff and DJ were busy marking their territory with spray-paint.

"What's up?" Duncan greeted nonchalantly. Geoff hopped off DJ's back and greeted Bridgette warmly.

"Hey, Bridge, what's happening?" he said. Bridgette giggled slightly under her breath at his forwardness, but she liked it.

"""

"Me and Geoff" Bridgette started, "have gotten really tight. And, well...I really like him..."

"""

"Listen up!" Eva shouted into the room. The boys all turned toward her in attention, some more skeptical than the others. "We need to decide who's getting axed!" The boys became more defensive around her now that she was talking about elimination. "We can't do without our Medics" a notion that Bridgette and DJ eased up on "or our heavy-hitters like me" which Duncan and Geoff smiled to. "But, I think we can agree on a few things."

"One" she continued, raising up a finger to correspond with her count, "Tyler is an idiot. He can't run, skip or jump without landing on his face, and he's supposed to be our fastest fighter. I'd say he's a good candidate for the boot." Everyone there seemed to agree. "Two, Ezekiel. I shouldn't even have to put up an argument there." Again, even without a reason, they all seemed to agree. "Last, there's Courtney."

"Time out, okay?" Duncan demanded. "We're not voting her off. She's our sniper!"

"She's also why we lost!" Eva shouted back. "She doesn't know about this game _or_ general warfare! If she can't get her act together then we won't win anything!" Duncan was left speechless, not from fear but from a lack of response. With her piece said, Eva went off to the base to cast her own vote while the rest were left to deliberate among themselves.

"This is nuts" Duncan said suddenly. "I gotta talk to Courtney..."

"""

"I've seen guys get attached to girls" Geoff started, "but Duncan with Courtney? I never knew he was that all over her like this! I gotta step up my game with Bridgette if he's laying down all that passion and whatever!"

"""

"Let's not talk about this anymore" DJ said to the group. "Let's just try and relax before we vote for either Zeke or Tyler."

"Right" Geoff confirmed, stealthily moving in closer to Bridgette.

* * *

Trent grabbed Cody by the shirt and pinned him up to the chain fence, causing it to rattle with the force.

"Why are you trying to vote off Gwen?" he demanded harshly.

"Ask Noah!" Cody pleaded. "It's his idea!" Trent dropped him and started off to the base only a few steps away.

"Noah" Trent mumbled, "you'd better have a great story for this..." Cody edged himself up along the fence and rubbed at his sore back.

"Yikes!" Izzy exclaimed, walking up to Cody. "What was that about?"

"Trent's mad" Cody began "because I asked him to vote for Gwen."

"What!?" Izzy shouted. She lunged forth and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, raising him up much higher than Trent did. "Gwen's too nice to get voted off this early!"

"Not...off" Cody struggled to say with his shirt choking him. "Voted...up...GACK!" Izzy blinked in confusion, then let him fall.

"What?" she asked, baffled. Cody couldn't talk, so he just pointed over to the door that Trent was now heading out of.

"Izzy, great!" Trent exclaimed. "I need you to spread the word to everyone, we need to vote for Gwen!"

"Um" Izzy began, confused, "why? Don't you like her or something?"

"Oh I do!" Trent reassured her. "You see, that's not how _these_ votes work. We-" He stopped mid-sentence because he saw Heather marching back from the smaller forward control room very egotistically. She walked right up to the group and swaggered her hips to a stop.

"Hey there, Trent" she greeted with emphasis. "You know, I don't think Gwen has the hots or you anymore." Trent cocked a brow at her.

"""

"There's no fooling me, chick" Trent said slyly. "Besides, if Gwen wasn't 'hot for me', why were we kissing a few minutes before?...wait. Edit that out!"

"""

"Really?" Trent asked, obviously adding some dramatic tone. "But, but how can you know?"

"Oh, just call it a hunch..." Heather explained, "and I saw her macking with DJ." Trent pretended to be enraged, shifting on his best acting capabilities.

"Oh, that son of a !" Trent roared. "Well, I'll teach _her _to mess with my heart! You guys spread the word, we're voting Gwen off!" With that, he stomped away. Heather turned hr head to watch him, smiling to herself. Cody and Izzy winked at each other, aware of the real plan, and parted ways.

"""

"Like I said" heather said arrogantly, "an ace..."

"""

Back in the bases, the votes were starting to come in for everyone. At Red base, there was substantially more tension as the fighters voted. Courtney stood watch over the vote box and watched some of her teammates, notably Katie and Sadie, glare her down on their way out.

"Oh" she moaned, burying her face in her hands with grief.

"Hey, princess?" Duncan called out. "You still here?" Courtney tried to hide her sadness and wiped her eyes. She stood up and pounded herself in the chest.

"Yeah, I'm here" she called out without any sadness. Duncan came up with a folded paper in hand.

"Hey, doll" he greeted, walking to take her in his arms. "How many votes do we have already?"

"Five" she said. "Katie and Sadie, Tyler, Ezekiel, and Harold all casted their votes already."

"Okay, then I'm not too late" he said. Courtney quickly sniffled while his back was turned.

"Too late for what?" she asked.

"To save you" he said, casting his ballot. "I'm trying to convince everyone else not to vote for you."

"Really?" She asked hopefully. "How's it going?"

"So far" Duncan admitted hesitantly, "it's me, Geoff, Bridgette and DJ. Including you, that's five votes not for you. Provided everyone else hasn't already voted for you, we can still even it out. And try to get Eva out of here."

"Eva?" Courtney repeated in shock. Unknown to Duncan, Eva was viciously looming behind him.

"Yeah" Duncan continued regardless, "that big sasquatch. She wants to vote you off, but she won't have a say if we can get her out of here first!" Then, her hand grabbed his shoulder. Duncan turned slightly, catching her sharp eyes and growing smile, then turned back with deathly shadows in his eyes. "Oh, crap" Eva picked him up and threw him across the room, while Courtney just watched and dreaded to herself.

"Sasquatch?" Eva menacingly repeated, cracking her knuckles over Duncan. He stared her down sternly from the floor. Then, he curled back, lifted his feet in the air, and kicked himself up into a fighting position.

"That's right, unibrow!" Duncan yelled. Eva charged in and head-butted him, keeping her head attached to his.

"Look who's talking!" Eva shouted.

"Hey, it looks good on me" Duncan said.

"STOP IT!" Courtney screeched. They both turned to her curiously. "Let's forget that most of us hate each other right now, okay? We're still on a team and whoever is going home shouldn't go home because of some stupid little vendetta! Now, let's just calm the hell down and vote right, DAMMIT!!" DJ had just entered the abse to vote for Eva, but back out when he heard the vicious girl screaming.

"""

"Okay" Courtney admitted, not looking at the camera, "I got a little out of hand...maybe."

"""

* * *

And so, the votes were all cast for the teams. Once all eleven votes were within each box, the lids sealed shut and the leaders led their teams through the halls of their base that led to the next battlefield and to the headquarters for their representative. The Blues met up with Chris and the Reds met up with Mr.H still in his pseudo-government garb. The leaders handed in their boxes and the representatives quickly shuffled through the ballots, marking down talleys as they did. When they were done, they both rose up from their seats and prepared to address the frightened teams.

"Alrighty" Chris began, "here's what we do. Because we don't technically have an marshmallows to give out and we were barred from tossing out grenades like I suggested, I'll just tell you right now who got the vote..." A difficult silence was draped over the boys and girls. "...through the confessional messages!" Everyone gasped, knowing nothing good would come of this. Heater, of course, smiled.

First was Noah.

"""

"I read the manual about these vote offs, so I decided to spread my own word to help the team. Anyway, I'm sure my time will come, so I had everyone vote for Gwen.

"""

To this Gwen was absolutely appalled. She turned to Trent in tears, but he kept the silence by waving his hands and shaking his head, pointing back to the monitor that displayed all the confessions.

"""

"Okay" Izzy started, "I vote for Gwen because she's a good friend and she's really nice!"

"""

"Noah said" Cody began, "that I had to vote for Gwen so we would have better chances. She is our only medic, after all."

"""

"Gwen" Heather started, "is outta here! HAHAHAH!!" The maniacal laugh was a bit much, but it stayed in anyway.

"""

"Heather told me to vote for Gwen" Lindsay explained, "but I voted fer her instead. I haven't forgotten how mean she was to me!"

"""

"Justin told me" Beth started "that Trent told him that Cody told him to talk to Noah, who said to vote for Gwen. If that many people are doing it already, I may as well jump on the bandwagon!"

"""

"Heather's always gonna be a pain in my rear" Leshawna said, "but Noah is the team leader, and a good one at that from what his plans were. So, Gwen."

"""  
"Gwen" Justin said simply.

"""

"Gwen" Owen briefed.

"""

"I hope she doesn't take this the wrong way," Trent began, "but I vote for Gwen" with a thumb up and a smile.

"""

"I'm ending this before it begins and I hope everyone else gets the same rhythm." Gwen confessed finally. "Heather."

"""

The monitor cut out, leaving Gwen in a confused state of total bewilderment. Then, with seething eyes of fire, she turned around and glared down everyone.

"You" she started, "you're all evil! I don't know what convinced you all to lose your stupid, putrid -filled minds but-"

"And so" Chris announced, "it gives me pleasure to name Gwen the first MVP of the game!" Noah's face lit up with a smile, as did Trent's and the rest of the informed voters. Heather and Gwen both shared an open-mouth shoulder slump to the point where their hands nearly hit the floor.

"Wait" Gwen started, "MVP means-"

"Most Valuable Player" Chris affirmed. "Yup! I thought I told you guys that no one goes home on this show. Instead, you all voted for whoever you thought did the best in the game! The losers even vote for their MVP." Gwen just blinked in disbelief. Heather's eye wanted to blink, but just twitched. Once the shock had gone past her, Gwen became happy again, smiling and slowly bringing her hands up to her face.

"I can't believe it!" Gwen said in excitement, rushing up to the stage. On a pedestal that rose up from the floor laid a platinum medal that had emblazoned upon it the sparkling letters 'MVP'. Gwen took the medallion and placed it graciously around her neck. "You guys...thanks." Everyone applauded, except Heather who was still in shock. "And to think I was ready to claw you Trent's face and set you all on fire with Izzy's flamethrower out of rage...heh." The applause died down a little after that.

"Yup." Chris said, slowly backing away form Gwen. "That's how it works, alright."

"Thank you, Noah" Gwen said sweetly. She went down from the stage and gave him a hug. Noah cheerfully accepted it, but resumed his apathy once it broke off.

"Whatever" he said, "I was just helping our odds as a team." Gwen still smiled as she made her way to Trent, giving him a solid kiss on the lips.

"Thanks" she said, cuddling up to him.

"Sure thing" he replied.

"Nice, dude!" Owen cheered, the other guys giving him the finger-gun, nice job gesture. Even Noah snuck his aside.

"OH!" Izzy exclaimed. "That makes sense. Hehe...so, what does being MVP do?" Noah was about to take it upon himself to explain, but Chris reappeared at the podium in center stage very quickly to take the spotlight.

"MVP get the best gift of all" Chris explained, "free crap, I mean, upgrades! Gwen, as a Medic, you'll be given a more powerful medi-gun that heals quicker and from farther away. Also, your ubercharge has been automatically extended. But, that's not all! Your saw does more damage and you syringe gun can drain health from successful hits on enemies!" All this news at once forced a happy cheer out from the awesome news. Gwen was picked up by Owen and thrown in the air, much to her own dismay, and there was general happiness in the area that Heather watched over at a distance, her eye still twitching a bit.

"""

"Those losers can celebrate all they want" Heather said fervently, "but I'll get the last laugh! Next match, I'll make sure they have no _choice_ but to make me the MVP!"

"""

* * *

"And now for the confessionals" Mr.H read from his index cue card "which will aid in our voting process. Let's watch, shall we?" the last part delivered with particular stiffness. Courtney was on edge, her nails in her mouth from fear. Duncan was next to her, fearing the worst with her. Then, the giant monitor flickered on...

"""

"Here's the thing" Tyler started. "I did Courtney as a leader, but she's to harsh about it. Then again, we did win because she noticed that we could bend the rules right? Anyway, I decided to vote for Eva, cause I'm sure we don't need that much offense and she's kind of a psycho."

"""

Eva glared from the front of the line back at him. Tyler winced and recoiled behind Harold, who stood completely relaxed and calm.

"""

"I" Eva said "vote for Heather, because a dead and rotting cow could lead better!"

"""

"I vote for Eva" Bridgette confessed, "and I really hope she doesn't take it personally..."

"""

"Eva" Sadie said.

"Oh, definitely" Katie affirmed right beside her. "I vote for her too!"

"""

Harold breathed in through his inhaler a few times. "I feel bad about what happened last time with Duncan and Courtney, so I vote for Eva"

"""

"Personally" Courtney started "I can't stand Ezekiel. Eva's useful but he? He's just stupid."

"""

"I don't really get what to do here, eh?" Zeke said. "I guess I should tell you who I'm voting for right But then, doesn't that defeat the purpose of voting?...uh...no one will see this, right? Cause I vote for Duncan. He's a creep."

"""

"Eva" Duncan said, leaning back.

"""

"I got your back, Duncan" DJ said. "I'm voting for Eva. Girl's straight up nuts."

"""

"Uh, Eva?" Geoff said rhetorically.

"""

And the monitor crackled off. During the second mention of her name, Eva had begun to lash out and was holding the stage podium with Mr. H still on it over her head to throw into the crowd.

"You're all in for some serious hell now! RRAAAAHHH!" Eva was just about to hurl her collective ball of force when a medal of gold and silver was drooped in front of her. "What's this?"

"You won!" Mr. H said. "You're the MVP." Everyone gasped.

"MVP?" Duncan said slowly, "as in Most Valuable Player?"

"Uh" Mr. H stalled, reading the reference card he was given, "yeah! Congratulations!" Eva dropped him and grabbed the medal with a smile. "Along with the medal" Mr. H continued with the weight of the podium on his back, "you get a larger clip for you gun, more health and the ability to jump higher and farther with the weight of your gun. You auxiliary skill allows you to carry your teammates to your base when they fall or are heavily injured for temporary invincibility."

"Is that all?" Duncan shouted sarcastically.

"Don't think this changes things" Eva declared, slipping on her medal. "I'm still mad at you guys. But, since I'm the MVP, I'll let it slide for now. Just remember who the most powerful player is on this team!" She jumped down and strutted past her team with a menacing grin, onward to the next rendezvous for the next match.

"Okay" Courtney said nervously, "let's go."

"""

"Even if I have to cheat" Courtney sneered into the camera, "I'm not letting anyone else get that MVP next match!"

"""

"Exciting, isn't it?" Chris said. "Don't worry, there's much more where this came from. So much more! Join us next week as the teams begin to prepare for their next game for fame! Will Noah pull out all the stops now that he knows how to defy the games intended programming? Will Courtney's newbie-luck let her win another match? Can Zeke get any lamer? I doubt it! Catch us next week for _Total.  
Drama.  
TEAM FORTRESS!_"


	8. Lobby 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

We join the teams still walking down the infinite corridors that lead to the next major game area which no one knows but few can speculate. On the Blue team, Noah formulates his plans for whichever of the remaining maps there are left.

_It was mentioned_ Noah thought _that there are only six maps. That means we're using the original maps from the Orange Box before the Gold Rush game came out. That eliminates a whole game type to strategize for. As for the maps, there's still 2Fort, Gravel Pit, Well, Hydro and Dustbowl to play. I'll need to write everything up once I get a chance..._

As Noah led the pack onward, his teammates relaxed behind him.

"So what's up girl?" Leshawna asked Gwen. Gwen and Trent walked together, hand in hand.

"Oh, not much" Gwen answered. "These games are pretty brutal, though."

"Really?" Trent added. "I thought you'd be more lax about killing people in a fake war."

"Not that" Gwen began. "Owen didn't let up on his gas for the whole match..." Trent and Leshawna grimaced at the thought.

"Hey, girls!" Heather said with her charismatic fake cheer to Lindsay and Beth. Both girls huffed her off and continued ahead, leaving Heather behind. Heather slumped her shoulders down until Justin passed her. "Justin! How are you?"

"I'm okay" he coolly replied.

"How would you like to win the next MVP?" Heather offered. Justin raised up his hand and silently dissed her.

"Yeah, Lindsay told me about your mean-streak" he explained. "But hey, we're still a team. Just do really well and I'm sure you'll get that medal next time!" Heather huffed once again and crossed her arms.

"That'll take too much work. I need some patsies" and just as she elaborated her thoughts, Owen and Izzy passed by. Heather sneered in her contemplative way and rubbed her hands together.

"Hey Izzy!" Heather said, hanging her arm around her shoulder and reaching up to Owen. "Owen, you big lug. How're you guys doing?"

"I was just telling Izzy" Owen began "about my camping trip since I left the island."

"It was in Alaska!" Izzy exclaimed.

"And you'll never guess what I saw" Owen paused to build tension. Izzy clutched Heather, making her uncomfortable, as Owen was just about to reveal the answer.

"Yeah sure, whatever" Heather gruffly interrupted. "Listen, I need you guys to do me a huge favor."

"Yeah?" Izzy asked.

"I need to count on you two to be my confidantes and vote for me next match" Heather explained.

"...why?" Izzy asked, stopping the trio.

"Yeah" Owen admitted, "I kind of want the title too."

"Yeah, but you're already powerful enough" Heather explained. Owen realized that she was technically right, and he couldn't imagine what bonuses came with getting the MVP. "Plus, Gwen's already our MVP and she always sticks with you. You'll be fine with her. And you, Izzy, you dominated the match as you are. What if they get rid of your flamethrower as an upgrade?" Izzy gasped, pulling out her gun and hugging it protectively.

"That's a good point" Izzy admitted.

"And as a Spy" Heather began again, "I'll most likely get an enhanced cloaking or a stronger sabotage weapon. It'll be a smarter move for the team as a whole. What do you say?" Izzy and Owen both stared off and thought for a moment. Before Owen could think of an obvious reason to reject, Izzy gave her answer.

"OKAY!!" she shouted, hugging Heather with her Judo-strength arms.

"I'm cool with it" Owen said, joining the hug. Heather slipped out before she suffocated and walked ahead of them.

"Great. Thanks!" Heather called. Owen and Izzy turned to notice that Heather was no longer in their hug and they parted.

"Heh" Owen laughed briefly, keeping his arm around Izzy. "That was weird. She's usually much meaner." He looked at Izzy, who was glaring venomously at him. Then, he looked at his hand, placed conspicuously and accidentally on her chest. He quickly withdrew it and tried to plead his case. "Oh, sweet gazelles! Izzy, that was an accident." Izzy just glared furiously. "You believe me, righ-" then she kicked him in the face and continued on hotly. "...sorry..." Owen moaned out.

* * *

While Heather schemed, Courtney and the Red team steamed.

"Can you believe it!?" Courtney growled, clutching her fingers in anger with Duncan at her side. "They all had the nerve to try and vote me off! And they failed! I should have won."

"Yeah" Duncan started, "but that would've been like losing."

"I did lose" Courtney said. "Look at her!" Up ahead, Eva was strutting confidently. Despite that everyone voted against her to be on the team, she was in a very bright mood. Winning the MVP medal and the benefits had made the game worthwhile. Behind her trailed the rest of the team, the cosest being Katie and Sadie.

"I feel kind of bad" Sadie admitted. "I should have voted for Courtney after all."

"That's weird" Katie admitted. "I totally was about to change my vote, but I didn't want us to vote for two different people."

"Oh my gosh, that would have sucked" Sadie added.

"Good thing we're so in synch, right?" Katie said. "We totally know how we're both going to think, and stuff."

"I know" Sadie said. Harold walked behind them with Zeke, Tyler and DJ.

"Man," DJ admitted "this war stuff is getting to me."

"It's just a game" Harold said.

"Yeah, man!" Tyler said enthusiastically "You've got to get your groove on, you know? Get more into it!"

"I am!" DJ said. "That's what worries me. I'm too into just lying back and letting Geoff do all the work. I feel like I'm not contributing to the team enough."

"Well, you're, like, a nurse" Zeke added. "And nurses have girly jobs. Maybe if you were, like, a heavy or something, you'd be better off."

"Dude" DJ said judgmentally, "you need to ease up on the sexist stuff. Especially around Eva."

"Well, I'm trying" Zeke admitted. "It's kind of hard when the opportunities keep coming for me to be right about it."

"Relationships" Harold began poetically "should be less about what you say and more about how you say it."

"Speaking of which" DJ interjected. "What's up with you and Leshawna?"

"Hopefully a lot" Harold said excitedly. "She may not have been too loyal to me, but I did keep writing her. I hope she got my letters, at least, but if not I can move on."

"That's cool" DJ said.

"And how am _I_ doing you ask!?" Geoff said, suddenly bursting in on the group. Bridgette was able to pull him back to her side by the ear quick enough before he embarrassed himself. He smiled anyway with his woman and walked with her down the tunnel.

"How long is this thing?" Harold shouted. His complaint echoed off all the walls around him.

* * *

"Hey there!" Izzy beamed happily to the leading couple, Trent and Gwen. She hung her arms across both their shoulders and edged between them. "You guys should support Heather!"

"What?" Gwen said in disbelief.

"It was her fault that I got voted off" Trent argued.

"Yeah, but she's totally different now" Izzy debated cheerfully. "It's like, she was once a caterpillar of pure bi, but over the time we've all been apart, she blossomed and turned into a beautiful, trustworthy butterfly!"

"More like a hornet" Gwen lowed to Izzy's elaborate motions of a butterfly.

"She's probably scheming to get the MVP vote next match" Trent assumed. "We should tell this to Noah."

"Why?" Gwen asked. "we can deal with it ourselves."

"He's our leader" Trent affirmed. "He'll know who to vote for next." Gwen nodded and the two of them jogged up to he front of the line.

"Hey guys" Cody greeted nicely. "What's up?"

"Heather's trying to usurp the vote" Trent explained. "She's already alienized Izzy and Owen."

"Not that it was hard for her" Gwen said aside herself.

"Woah" Cody said in amazement. "That could be bad. I'll talk to Noah about it." So he turned back to the ever thoughtful Noah. "Hey-"

"Don't care" Noah interrupted him preemptively. "Let everyone do as they want next match. We'll leave it to chance." Cody turned back and prepared to relay the information.

"Don't bother" Gwen said. "We heard him."

"Oh." Cody replied. "Well, you should probably try to get some swing votes for someone else. I anyone gets a majority of any kind, even one point, they win."

"That's not good" Trent said. "If Heather wins she'll try and abuse her power to usurp the leader position. That's just exactly her angle."

"Leshawna will go with us" Gwen informed her boyfriend. "No way she'll side with Heather ever." Trent nodded and they both slowed down and let Leshawna, conversing with Justin, catch up with them. Without even an explanation the Counter-Heather force grew by two. When Lindsay and Beth were in formed, it grew to two more, and that was more than enough. Heather, who had dipped in and about from group to group, had already gathered all the info she needed.

_Let them go against me_ she thought arrogantly. _I'll still get the vote if I outperform them. And with Owen and Izzy on my side, that will be no problem..._In a secluded part of the complex, Chris sat back in a luxurious hot tub, watching a small screen of a panning view that kept up with the Blue team as they continued to walk down the continuous corridor to seemingly nowhere.

* * *

"Man" Chris started "this is great!"

"I know" Mr. H replied from his pool table. He took a sip from a glass of sparkling, pinkish liquid and continued his game. "Much more relaxing than before."

"Well we ran you ragged before" Chris pointed out.

"Heh-heh. Yeah." Chef said reminiscently. He glared at Chris from over his shoulder and continued with his game. Suddenly, a monitor started to crackle with static. On the huge-view screen, previously taken by a hockey game, appeared the mysterious producer that rescheduled the program.

"Gentlemen" he said menacingly "how are we doing?" Chris shot up from his jacuzzi, revealing his tight speedo to his commander accidentally.

"All's going ship-shape, admiral!" Chris announced.

"It had better be, McClean" the evil producer growled. "If this show doesn't generate as much drama or tension among the cast as the last one, your head shall roll." And then the transmission cut. Chef glanced over worriedly at Chris who was exiting his tub and looking for clothes to wear.

"Don't worry about it, dude" Chris said. "We barely have to lift a finger to get the drama going."

"But we will have to work" Chef noted.

"Maybe" Chris said. "How about we pull out one of our desperation plans a little early?"

"Which one?" Chef asked. "The red one or the green one?"

"Hmm..." Chris hummed thoughtfully, "the green one. That'll get 'em moving."

"Literally" Chef lowed. They both laughed dramatically and evilly as they prepared to break the ground with their new, apparently terrible plans that the contestants would have to endure...

* * *

"Are we THERE YET!!" Izzy roared. Gwen winced, being right next to her, as the scream echoed off the walls.

"Yes" Noah called back. Everyone darted ahead from where they were, Owen slightly behind, and found themselves staring at another huge sliding metal door. "How do we open in, though?" Noah asked rhetorically.

"With FIRE!" Izzy shouted, picking up her gun and charging forward. Her fire only bounced off and scorched her body black. "Nope, not fire. Hehe!" Izzy's crazy was upliftingly odd enough to open the sliding door, revealing the interior of a certain starting area, and Noah smiled.

"So we're here..." he said.

* * *

"Where is this?" Courtney noted. She and Duncan took the first steps into the small interior of a lightly furnished shed, complete with a lounge sofa and paint cans, and another, smaller sliding door. Once the final member of the red team crossed into the room the metal door they entered in slid shut, leaving them stuck inside. DJ and Duncan went over to their exit and tried to heave it up, but it didn't budge.

"Great" Eva huffed. "Now we're trapped. Way to go!"

"Me?" Courtney scoffed. "You were leading the way down a one-way tunnel! I think it's your fault!" Courtney edged Eva on enough to force the brute girl to pick her up and press her against the metal door behind them.

"You've got an annoying habit" Eva growled "of getting on my nerves!"

"Hey!" Duncan shouted. "Put her down, meathead!"

"Stop it!" Bridgette demanded. "We're a team, we shouldn't fight! Just everyone calm down and sit on the floor! It's time for a meditating circle." Eva groaned out a sigh as everyone started sitting around Bridgette. Courtney was dropped rudely to the floor, and soon the room was noisy with humming.

In the Blue base, Noah took up his own seat on a plaid-patterned couch, lying across it with a confident smile.

"We're in Gravel Pit" he announced to his team. "It's a capture/defend type of map, only one team attacks while the other only defends. I think we're on defense first."

"Okay" Heather said. "When do we start?"

"Soon!" Chris announced into the room through the speakers. The jolt of his voice was enough to spook everyone and throw Noah off his couch. "Very soon. We still need to patch up some holes in the map here and there, so just relax for a bit until we get this baby ready."

"What about food!?" Owen shouted desperately. "I haven't eaten anything real since I got here! When's the food?"

"Yeah" Gwen added. "We can't just blaze through everything in one day."

"We have no intention too, either." Chris affirmed. "This time, you'll all be playing for some rather higher stakes. The winners will get transported via helicopter to the next map and base..."

"...while the losers" Mr. H announced to his team "will have to stay up, all night, hiking their way to the base!" There was a dreadful gasp that came from everyone. Both team leaders prepared themselves to strategize like their lives depended on it, as they very may well.


	9. Gravel Pit 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Wassup,kiddies?" Chris greets. "Let's take a quick recap of the previous game to get you in the spirits for then next brutal installment. It was 2-1 Blue team, the first match was al Blue team. It was nearly a record, if we had any, in speed and effectiveness. Great job! Of course, all do credit should go to Noah, who's not only played this game before but is a pro at it. Then the Red team bounced back for the tie by bending the rules of the game world. Good observation by Courtney, who had her team flank around the outer edges of the level itself for the win. Then, in a near stale-mate, the Blues eaked by for the final point. And now, with the teams prepared and unknowing, let us start up the next game! Welcome to _Total  
Drama  
Team Fortress!"_Out of nowhere, each team was rattled by a loud, blaring klaxon alarm coming from everywhere. The entire field, from each of the three capture bases and through all the tunnels, shook with sound. Everyone held their ears tight, except Noah, who was wearing headphones and reading a magazine from the wall.

* * *

"What's going on!?" Gwen shouted. Trent, right next to her, couldn't even hear her. Then, just as it came, the noise stopped all at once.

"START!!" Mr. H and Chris' voices roared out. All the metal doors slid open and the contestants, though still greatly jarred, were sent onto the field. Noah ran out, taking off his headphones, and found himself at Base C, complete with perfectly modeled tower and well marked routes to each base.

"Everyone!" Noah ordered. His team looked up as they all cleaned out their ears. "To base B! Double time!" So everyone, trusting Noah's strategic skill, followed him out to Base B. Cody built a teleporter entrance, as Noah had taught him, and let it set up as he jogged along with the gang.

"What's this map's goal?" Gwen yelled, running a little ahead of the Owen she was healing.

"Attack and Defend" Noah explained. "They attack our bases, so we have t o defend them. Once they get both A and B, they can try and capture C."

"So what's the plan?" Leshawna asked, coming up from behind. Blue team exited into the Base B area with setup time to spare.

"We're going to hold down that barn" Noah said, pointing to the sheltered capture point "until the game ends."

"What about the other base?" Trent asked, taking his position at the top of the hill.

"Let them have it" Noah said, waving his hand off. "If they don't capture this one they can't win."

"So we're just giving them a base?" Heather yelled, insulted.

"Yup" Noah said. He jumped down, not wanting to navigate the ramps, and picked up a small med-pack. Then, he ran into the base itself. The barn was wide enough as it should, be, but he observed while running. First he threw down a dispenser in the right corner. "Cody, exit."

"One sec" Cody said. "Need metal."

"Over here first" Noah instructed, motioning to his dispenser. They both banged the object while Owen arrived, hand on knee panting, with Gwen behind him.

"Dude" she said, holding her nose, "you really need some Deoderant."

"I got some!" Izzy exclaimed. Gwen and Owen just stared at her for a bit. "Oh, it's not for me, really. It has a high glycerine count, so if I light it on fire it'll explode!"

"What are you?" Gwen began. "Some kind of freak?"

"Nope" Izzy answered. "I'm a pyro!"

"Speaking of which" Noah said, coming from his corner, "you need to surprise the enemy." He walked her over to the wide-open exit that overlooked the entrance point of the enemy team. "See that concrete jutting out from the rock?" She nodded. "Go crouch down next to it and burn them as they come out." Izzy ran over and curled into a ball with her gun at the ready but hidden from sight.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Red team was kept at bay by the other metal doors that had yet to release them into the stage itself.

"Come on!" Duncan shouted, banging away with Eva trying to get the door open. "This ain't fair!"

"Okay guys!" Courtney shouted from the other door, at the B entrance. "Do we all understand the plan?"

"My team" Duncan started from the A door" takes and holds A while you guys work on B."

"If there's any sign of trouble" Courtney warned, "like turrets or defenses, call for a medic and take it out! This is attack and defend, and we're attacking!"

"They only have two engineers" Eva gruffed, this time with DJ as her personal medic. "That won't be enough to stop me."

"Easy, twinkle toes" Duncan mocked, "save the bullets for the bad guys." She scowled at him.

"""

"Okay" Eva confessed "I admit it. I had a bit of irrational anger earlier. Okay? Happy? I've been working on my anger problems, but this game really gets to me in a bad way. As long as I'm winning, which I WILL, I won't get too mad..."

"""

Another klaxon, this time much less loud but still everywhere, and the armies departed. Six of the red team to base A and five to base B. Courtney, Sadie, Katie, Harold and Tyler all departed together down the corridor. However, because of the inexplicable sticky grenades, Tyler was sent back. Courtney was injured, but persevered. Then, a rocket fire-fight claimed Harold in the cross-fire and as Katie and Sadie departed with injuries, Izzy finished them off. Courtney watched with shock at how well their defense had been organized so quickly, but she wasn't scared.

"C'mere little piggy" a playful girl's voice called out. A wagging, beckoning finger popped up from the concrete edge. "Momma's gonna make you into bacon! Muhahahaha..."

"Cut it out, Izzy!" Courtney shouted. She crouched down and began her arduous job of sniping.

"There is no Izzy!" Izzy shouted, throwing up a rock that hit Courtney on the head. "Only Zul!! FUAHAHAHA!!" The crazy girl's oddity daunted Courtney to the point of actual retreat. On the way, she encountered her newly resurrected team members.

"What was that!?" Tyler shouted.

"Izzy's waiting or us" Courtney said "so that way's a no go. We'll have to go help out at-"

"Capture!" Mr. H announced. "Red Team has taken A!"

"Really?" Courtney said in disbelief. At point A, the team celebrated mildly while Zeke built up a turret outside. Inside the short tower, they all camped...all of them unaware of the rules of the actual game.

"That was easy" Duncan commented.

"We must've beaten them here" Eva pointed out, leaning against the wooden wall. "What pansies." She and Duncan bumped fists, but he was more suspicious than enthusiastic.

"""

"You know about the calm before the storm?" Duncan pointed out. "This was like that, but really unsettling. I fealt like they were behind me all the time...this game's making me paranoid, man."

"""

"Hey!" Courtney called, cresting the hill with her team. "You guys did it!"

"Yeah" Duncan shouted back.

"No one was here" Geoff said with Bridgette healing him from behind. "We just walked in and took it."

"Huh" Courtney grunted quizzically. "They must all be defending the same base! How dare they!"

"Well" Katie started "it's not like they're cheating."

"No" Courtney huffed, stomping her foot, "but that means that all of their defense is on base-" she was cut off. Her body was thrown to the side from a bullet whizzing through her head. With only a sliver to view from, Trent was able to hit Courtney square in the temple. Eva spotted him loading his gun and picked up her gatling, firing a rain of sharp hail in his direction. Only one bullet hit him and he decided to retreat, running back through the tunnel at full speed.

"That rat!" Eva growled. "I'm going! DJ, come one!" She and her medic jumped down and started running after, both keeping up with each other.

"Come on, dudes!" Geoff announced. "We need to rally together and attack at once!"

"Except Ezekiel" Duncan pointed out. "You stay here and guard the base!" Zeke saluted, knowing that failing would mean some terrible punishment. Everyone left through the same tunnel that pointed to Base B, unaware just how bad they were outgunned.

* * *

"They're coming through the tunnel" Trent said, clutching his neck. Gwen started healing him, and he felt the blood receded and the wound close almost instantly. It only took a second ot so and he was at bonus-health.

"How many of them?" Noah asked in his sheltered corner with a newly blocked off window.

"Not sure" Trent said. Eva looked pretty mad, but who knows just how many of them there'll be."

"We should coordinate now" Noah said. "Everyone into the base!" Everyone who was outside, including both soldiers, Lindsay and Izzy, started running back in. Duncan rounded the corner just in time to hit the back of Izzy's retreating leg and throw her forward.

"Ouch!" Izzy exclaimed. "At least my leg's still attached! Wouldn't it be cool if it got blown clean off!?"

"No" Noah plainly interjected. "Hide quick." As he warned her, Duncan's grenades started coming in through the open windows. They all spread out near the center of the capture point, where Owen stood with his back to the other ramp. Harold took on a disguis and started quickly creeping up the ramp behind Owen as Lindsay, just as Lindsay came around behind him.

"Oh my Gosh!" the real Lindsay exclaimed, catching Harold's attention. "We're wearing the same thing! How weird is that? Hugh!" Her last grunt was Harold de-stealthing and stabbing her in the stomach, then cloacking and running away. She buckled over in pain for a moment, but Gwen stepped in and quickly healed her. "Thanks Gwen" she said.

"No problem" Gwen responded.

"Hey!" Leshawna shouted from high above, on the roof of the base. "It looks like they're all coming here! You got Eva and DJ to the front and Geoff and Bridgette to the rear!"

"Owen and Gwen, occupy Eva" Noah commanded. Gwen started healing Owen from the corner with Cody's equipment just as Eva rounded the corner with her gun firing. Owen moved up and steadied his feet, absorbing the powerful blows and exchanging his own. However, the balance of power between Eva's super-powered gun and Owen's super-powered medic canceled out, and they were locked in a stalemate. Of course, Owen had a slight advantage.

"Izzy!" Noah shouted across the room. Izzy looked at him and caught a handful of random metallic junk as he threw it. "Toss that at Owen."

"Okay" Izzy shrugged. She lightly tossed the metal at Owen, which disappeared and loaded his gun. Noah kept watch over what he could and saw someone creeping in from behind.

"Beth!" he shouted. Beth sprang from his corner, rocket-launcher ready, and aimed it right at Heather.

"It's me!" she roared.

"Oh" Beth said. "Sorry..." So Heather turned around in a huff while Beth shot her with a shotgun. No recoil or blood, but Heather darted back around suspiciously and angrily.

"I'm using this" Heather said in reference to a window Gwen was huddled next to. "Make way."

"I'm busy."Gwen said. "Go around. HEY!" Regardless, Heather stepped on her head and fell out the window, somersaulting and cloaking at the same time, invisibly picking a proper disguise. She saw Courtney coming out of the concrete exit and decided to use her. Courtney started climbing up the rocks, unaware of her exposed back, which Heather took hefty advantage of with a stab to the spine. Then, she became Courtney and flanked around behind DJ.

"How's it going?" fake Courtney demanded from her teammate. He looked back, seeing his team leader, and then started glancing around suspiciously.

"Are you a spy?" DJ asked.

"What?" Courtney said, offended. "Of course not! Just get behind Eva so you don't get hit!" DJ shrugged, figuring she really wasn't if she was using such a hot tone, and got a bit closer to Eva. Just as Heather raised up her knife, Tyler zipped around and batted her on the head and into the ground. DJ smirked and looked back, Tyler standing on the corpse of a de-cloaked Heather.

"Nice cover, man" DJ said.

"No problema" Tyler said, twirling hit bat. DJ confidently returned to his previous focus, missing Tyler wang himself in the head.

"This never ends!" Owen screamed.

"I'm almost out of ammo!" Eva shouted. Duncan heard her and, from the side of the base, spotted a small box of replenishing ammunition.

"""

"Say what you want" Duncan confessed "I just did it for the team."

"""

So Duncan picked up the ammo and pitched it into Eva. Her gun was reloaded and she continued to rip the bullets off at Owen. The two heavies were locked in a stalemate, while the rest of the team continued to attempt a flanking maneuver.

"""

"Well" Chris began, appearing once more, "our producer has informed us that our time-slot got taken away for some weird new show about...house makeovers? Whatever. The point is that the normal time has been cut back, so instead of one hour you get on half each week. Bummer, right? It doesn't we won't make more hour-long shows for you, but it takes a lot more fenangling with the network to do it. So, until next week, peace-out.


	10. Gravel Pit 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

We join a standoff in progress. Owen versus Eva in a battle of teamwork. Who will triumph and claim the goal line? Watch (as it were) and find out.

"This never ends" Gwen groaned in boredom.

"Then use your ubercharge" Cody suggested as he continued to hit his turret. Gwen smiled and prepared to pull the lever that would send her and Owen into victory. Harold, who had been listening at the window for just that, ran over hugging the wall and gave his signal. DJ nodded and both Heavies were engaged in ubercharge at the same time, although they still fired. Meanwhile, Harold cloaked himself and circled to the back of DJ for defense.

"Gwen's in the far right corner from here" Harold reported. DJ nodded and shouted it back to Eva.

"Gwen's in the far right corner!" he reported.

"Good" Eva said. "The faster we can end this the sooner we can take over..." Once Eva's charge wore off, she continued to fire, but in vain. Owen's invincibility was still up.

"Oh, crap!" Eva shouted, taking the bullets once more. "Their medic must have gotten the MVP bonus last round!"

"Yeah" Harold said, trailing off a bit. "That's the other thing I wanted to tell you..." Eva kicked him, but lost her footing doing so, and fell on her gun. It stopped firing and Owen started to march down the ramp. DJ hid behind the rock and Eva crawled after him.

"this is bad" Eva said. "We can't just stay here and keep fighting a losing battle."

"Woah" Harold gasped. "I never thought you'd say that." Eva grabbed him by the throat and shook him lightly, then the bullets from Owen's gun stopped.

"Owen!" Noah called from his corner. "Get back here and restock. They won't come in again if they're smart."

"I don't know" Gwen said in a playful tone "Eva's out there. I think we should be ready for another attack."

"Yo!" Leshawna called from the roof. "They're hiding behind the rock!"

"Thanks" Noah called.

"And another thing" Leshawna started, "GET ME DOWN!"

"Fine!" Noah shouted back up. He patted on Owen's shoulder and he moved right under the opening the Leshawna was able to hop off of. She fell and landed in Owen's arms, then hopped onto the floor and brushed herself off, making sure not to touch her blood-marked shoulder.

"What happened?" Gwen said, starting up her gun on Leshawna.

"In a word" Leshawna said "Courtney. She's back and shooting to win!"

"Where?" Noah asked.

"By the tunnel entrance to base A." she reported. Noah glanced over at the wall that was in that direction.

"I hope Trent can see her..." Noah said. Up on the hill, prone in the dirt and in relatively plain sight, Trent was aiming over in that direction looking for whoever was shooting earlier.

"Come on out, sheepy" Trent taunted softly to himself. "Wolfie won't hurt you..."

"""

"What?" Chris exclaimed. "Is this whole match gonna be about lame-o 'Big Bag Wolf' puns!? One more and I will personally beat them all up!"

"""

Suddenly, Trent caught a sight of movement to his right. Tyler was climbing, very awkwardly, through the window of the tiny red shack next to the tunnel exit.

"Just go around!" Courtney ordered from inside the little shack.

"Nah" Tyler grunted. "I'm almost through!" And then a shot rang out and Tyler's body fell out of the window. Courtney caught a glance of Trent on the hill as he reloaded and she snapped down. Rather than take the shot ,she decided to nefariously outflank him.

"Katie! Sadie!" Courtney shouted. The two girls were nearby, strafing about and firing inside the window of the base. They both looked at their leader as the wood splintered just beside her. "Flank around to the back of the hill and kill Trent! He's sniping and keeping us held back!"

"What about you?" Sadie asked.

"Can't you hit him?" Katie finished.

"I'll try" she replied "but we should take the hill anyway! That way we can monitor the entire battle at our leisure." Her raw confidence was enough for the girls, and they rushed off, narrowly dodging Trent's incoming fire.

"Dang" Trent said, loading his gun again. A bullet whizzed by him, coming from the tiny shack. "You again, huh?" he said. He grabbed a few nearby boxes and fortified himself to tilt the odds of this firefight in his favor. He and Courtney exchanged fire for some time until Eva was ready again to get her gun up and move out.

"Got it, pencil-neck!?" Eva harshly directed toward Harold. "Get in there and kill someone, _anyone_, then leave. Their defense isn't as rock-solid as they think, and just upsetting it a little should break it down."

"Yes, ma'am" Harold said, saluting. He cloaked and dashed off while Eva roared and fired her gun. Owen was already blocking the entrance with his body with Gwen healing him from the far right corner. Harold snuck in through the back and noticed that, among the entire team within, Heather wasn't there. He chose his disguise, walked in casually, and got shot by Cody. He fell to the floor, bleeding as Heather, so Cody shot him twice more for the kill.

"Nice spy catch!" Izzy praised, still huddled in the corner waiting. Cody nodded and gave a thumb up.

"Good job" Noah said as well. "Where is Heather?"

* * *

"Man" Ezekiel moaned, tapping his turret, "this sucks, eh. I mean, sure I'm not as 'worldly' as the other guys, but I'm still an important member of the team, right. It's like, gah, no one cares about me or something."

"That's not true" Courtney said ,approaching the base Zeke so diligently guarded. He looked up at her, with her half-open eyes and seductive smile. "I care about you" she said. Zeke nearly passed out. A girl, and a mean one at that, was hitting on him! He straightened up with a dignified stand as she drew closer, her smile even more contagiously vicious than before.

"Buh" he bleated, unable to form words. She pressed up against him and swayed him slightly to the side.

"Don't be afraid, Zeky" she cooed. "I won't bite..." Zeke was at peace, a huge grin washed over his face. Then, he heard a static crackling. His turret was beeping painfully. Then his dispenser. Smoke rose up. He drew in a loud, rasp gasp just as a cold, metal knife entered his back. Heather, now decloaking, pushed him down and drove the knife even further into his back. Still, he twitched and gurgled with but a sliver of health left.

"""

"You know what?" Zeke said dreamily. "I died happy..."

"""

"Really?" Heather huffed. "I thought that would kill you." So, seeing as her target still lived, she pulled out her revolver and shot him three times. With his body unmoving and full of holes, she kicked him over and retrieved her knife. "Thanks to you, I now need an urgent shower" she said, twirling the blood off her knife. She caught the sight of Katie and Sadie jogging through to the C base and she cocked her brow accordingly.

"Almost there, Katie!" Sadie happily chimed.

"Yup!" Katie replied chirpingly. "Still, isn't it weird?"

"What?" Sadie asked.

"Well," Katie started, "base B is so much more fortified than base A is, isn't it? And it's bigger."

"So?" Sadie replied.

"It's like it was made for this!" Katie continued. "This supposedly, invincible defense' they're using! You think someone on their team has played this game before?"

"Maybe" Sadie figured. "It was probably that power-geek Cody."

"Yeah" Katie agreed, "although he is kinda cute. In a little brother kind of way."

"Well" Sadie began, "would you _date_ someone's little brother?" Then a shot rang form behind them. A vicious shot. Heather was sprinting after them, an evil smirk on her face, shooting a them from down the hall with her powerful pistol. Katie, who was technically the closest to Heather, tried to outrun Sadie while her soldier companion shot rockets down the hall. Heather could see them coming with her cunning eyes and simply side-stepped the rockets as the went passed. Once they were gone, she quickly reloaded her gun and continued to shoot, barely missing them as they made the break outside the corridor into the light again. Heather watched them run, sure she had stirred up the hive quite enough, and cloaked.

"We're almost there!" Katie cried, reaching their destination.

"Hurray!" Sadie replied. She had no more rockets, however. She didn't trust her shotgun to shoot right either. "Hey, take out your saw" she suggested.

"Why?" Katie asked.

"It'll be more embarrassing if we kill him like this!" Sadie replied, taking out her shovel. Katie nodded fiercely as they ran. Trent's back was fully exposed and he didn't even know it. Sadie slammed him on the head, then Katie joined in and knelt down to bash and hack at him with her saw. Noah leaned out of the window just enough to watch his sniper get beaten to death by the 'twins' and sighed as he drew back in.

"What's up?" Leshawna asked, shooting grenades at the attacking heavy from the corner.

"Trent's dead" Noah said. "Katie and Sadie snuck up on him. I need someone to go out and get them back." Immediately, the action-starved girls Beth and Lindsay popped over to the corner with their hands up. Noah stared at them for a bit, then laxly pointed them over with his thumb. They both giddily started out, running into a poorly-disguised Harold along the way, and killed him.

"What should we do?" Lindsay asked?

"Take out your pistol!" Beth suggested. Lindsay nodded and crouched down to aim. Just then, Tyler returned to the battlefield and blazed along the side of the base where he tripped and tumbled over Lindsay. She would up sitting on his chest while his legs were wisted harshly around.

"Oh!" she happily exclaimed. "Hi Tyler!"

"Hey" he wheezed. Lindsay stood up and, forgetting her place in the war, helped him up. "How's it going, babe?"

"Oh, you know" she said, "just hanging out and killing people. The usual!"

"Yeah, I hear that!" Tyler agreed. "You know, I'm sure we could find a nice quiet spot back at your main base where we could-" and then Beth blew him up. Lindsay blinked and shook off the soot and black dust that was Tyler a second ago and glanced over at beth.

"What was that for!?" Lindsay demanded. "We were just talking."

"Uh..." Beth said, not sure what to say, "he was on the enemy team...?"

"Oh" Lindsay realized. "Well, okay then." And so, she shrugged off the event as normal under war-time circumstances and went back to shooting at the girls up on the hill.

* * *

Meanwhile, of course, a full force was uniting behind the rock cluster against Owen and his super healer. Now, however, the tables were even more drastically turned, as Noah had repositioned his dispenser behind Owen and ordered Izzy to guard the other entrance.

"This isn't working!" Eva shouted. Geoff and Bridgette had joined the fray as well, with Bridgette healing Eva and Geoff firing occasional rounds over the rocks at the ceiling of the base. It was more of an annoyance than a serious threat, but he kept it up anyway.

"Dudes!" Geoff shouted, "where's Harold!?"

"I'm here!" Harold shouted, coming in from the other side of the rock wall. "And good news, I killed Izzy!"

"How does that help us!?" Eva shouted, accidentally getting shot in the mouth once. The medi-guns took away the damage and pain quickly, however, but she was running out of ammo.

"Because now" he said menacingly, "we can have someone sneak in around back where she was guarding. We can totally take them by surprise."

"I'll go!" Geoff offered.

"Cool" Harold said. "Follow me. I'll go with you." The boys ran off and disappeared from their main team's field of vision. After not too long, only Harold returned in time to see Eva and company duck behind the rock to reload from the reserved ammo packs they all carried.

"What's up?" Bridgette asked the obviously flustered Harold.

"Beth, Justin and Leshawna all blew Geoff up!" He reported, wheezing with panic. "I barely escaped! It was terrifying!"

"Poor guy" Bridgette comforted. "Are you alright?" she asked. Harold nodded and leaned back while Eva reloaded. Of course, not everything was alright. Harold leaped out and stabbed Bridgette when she wasn't looking. She died. DJ jumped up, but before the smoke completely dissipated from her body, Heather delivered a round-house to his face and spun him around, then lunged forward and stabbed him too.

Eva was ready to fire again, this time on Heather in front of her, but the nimble trickster was too quickly for her gun's recoiled. That's when Eva made a mistake: she took the high ground behind her and got shot down by Owen. She hit the ground, alive but injured, on her knees, which made her very easy prey for Heather. With all three offenders dead and the clock just about out, Heather cockily twirled her knife in her fingers with a smile on her face. She stepped out and flashed a thumb to her team in the base.

"Way to go, girl!" Leshawna cheered, unaware of the danger still present.

"Hooray for rampant deceit!" Izzy shouted, jumping up and down. Heather righteously started her strut back into the base when a shot rang out. Courtney was still alive, still active, and finally got a good shot off. She ducked immediately back into her tiny shack and reloaded.

"I wish this gun aimed better" she complained. "I could have kill her before half my team died." Heather's dead body was a stern reminder to the defending team that the round was not yet over. That and Noah.

"Don't forget people" he warned "we're not done here yet!" Then, Lindsay came running in with frazzled hair and a broken arm.

"They got Beth!" she shouted.

"Did you get any of them?" Noah asked while Gwen healed her.

"Yeah, the not-skinny one" Lindsay reported hesitantly.

"Good" Noah said. Everyone took a quick glance over to Leshawna, whom they all expected to be flipping out for some reason, and she picked up on it.

"What?" Leshawna asked. "Owen's fat, but that girl ain't skinny either. Chill."

"So then, what are you?" Izzy foolishly asked. Her answer was a gun barrel to the face. She slammed, dazed, to the floor, which Duncan heard. He crept under the elevated foundation of the building, duct-taping his grenades to the bottom of the base. He had enough charges in reserve and on the wood to level the entire structure, but mild startling was all he was looking for at the moment.

"Just a few more seconds" he said to himself "and boom goes the farmhouse."

"Attention!" Chris announced over the field. "One minute left!" The Red team members that heard it, which was nearly all of them, became desperate and horrified.

"Wow" Noah said. "That went by quickly..."

"""

"This game" Noah confessed "is actually a bit more fun than it is alone...I just wish we had some kind of open channel. Communicating at close range is too hard for all these tactics."

"""

"We're winning" Courtney adamantly said in the confession. "We are winning no matter what!"

"""

Zeke just sat and sighed once.

"""

"I wonder if I can to make Molotov cocktails" Izzy thought with a black eye.

"""

"I hope there's food soon" Owen lamented, looking down at the floor. There was a silence for a bit, then the screen shut off.

* * *

Next week! Will the reds pull out a lucky capture with Duncan's crazy scheme, or will this round be unsuccessful? Either way, how will the Blues begin their assault on offense? What new surprises will await? Does Izzy have a concussion!?

FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!!!


	11. Gravel Pit 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"_Thirty seconds, dudes!_" Chris announced. Duncan heard him from under the floor and finished taping the last bomb in place.

"Now or never, I guess" he said. Taking the great risk of his own life, Duncan decided to detonate every bomb at once. His body was obliterated, but it did little more than shake the floor the Blues stood on.

"What was that?" Cody asked with concern. The guarding Blue team looked around, although most of them looked at Owen for obvious reasons.

"What?" he asked at length. Then, the floor shifted down a few inches. Courtney was able to watch, not the explosion that killed Duncan, but the resulting implosion of the entire base as a result. The wooden barricades that ran outside the base fell down with thuds, kicking up dust. The clock continued down, and Courtney became desperate.

"Everyone alive!" she shouted with all her strength, "Rush the base!" From the concrete elevation came out Eva, Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Harold and Sadie. From the other entrance ran Tyler, Zeke, Courtney and from the metal ramp came Katie. They all ran berserk through the unsettled dust and eventually found the still elevated capture platform in the middle. Courtney climbed up and heard the capture warning.

"We did it" she said, half-surprised. "We did it!!!"

"Oh" a voice from the dust called, "you sure did?" A fiery blast came out from the cloud of dust. Courtney fell. The remaining Reds were almost simultaneously picked off under the cover of their brown fog. Eva fired around randomly, hearing only a few bullets connect, then got punched hard in the face. Her gun was lost to her side and she shook off the punch to look up at the clearing dust. There stood the silhouette of Owen, Cody, and Heather. She growled derisively but got picked off just as quick. Izzy continued to terrorize through the ranks of Reds as the clock ticked into the final seconds. Duncan returned to the field just in time to see the efforts of his work, but a smile was not on his face.

"No...f***ing...way..." he slowly drew in disbelief. The base was gone, all debris except for the metal sidings and the corner of intact flooring where Noah sat upon his turret. His entire team was dead, lying in the clearing dust as the clock ticked down to zero.

"_That's match!_" Chris announced. "_The Red team does not get the first point! Blue team has succeeded!_" To that note, all the Blues cheered on victoriously, much to Duncan's initial spite. After watching them for a bit, alone on the battlefield, he decided to give an honorable bow and jumped down. No one minded him as he walked through the broken wood over the the intact throne of Noah, and no one even notice him until he got there. They were too happy and joyous over their shut-out strategy.

"Good game, man" Duncan admitted to Noah. "I'm pretty impressed."

"Yeah, I guess so" Noah modestly said. "It wasn't a hard strategy."

"Was for us" Duncan joked. "What do you call it? A 'Dirt Cheap' play?"

"Basically" Noah shrugged.

"_Red TEAM!_" angry Mr. H shouted. "_WHAT in the name of Montreal happened out there? Y'all are weak!_"

"Oh yeah?" Duncan spited to the speaker. "I blew up the entire base! Give me some credit here, old man."

"_Old ma-!?_" Mr. H stuttered.

"Ooooohh!" Izzy awed.

"_Grr...Boy you done lost you mind!?_" Mr. H growled.

"I don't see you doing any work out here" Duncan said dismissively. He took out his grenade gun and blew up the speaker on the wall in spite, then walked away. Before he left entirely, he turned back to the Blue team with a competitive smile under glowering eyes. "Just you wait, dudes" he threatened. "We'll see how you like taking the medicine that you love to give out so much."

"""

"Did it seem extreme at the time?" Duncan asked. "Sure. But then again, I happen to like being on the extreme spectrum a lot!"

"""

"Oh yeah!" Izzy shouted. "Well, fish cakes to you, LOSER!" She even got her hand in a L and put it to her forehead. "You suckers got no game. You hear me, sad clown? NO GAME!" Duncan shrugged off her crazy and walked away. "Where you goin', huh!?" And then everything went white. "WHERE YOU GO---Hey, where are we?" Izzy was the first to observe that the team was now somewhere completely different than their previous spawn point.

"Okay, team!" Noah called out, clapping his hands for attention. "We're are now on offense!"

"So, we take their bases now?" Gwen asked.

"Exactly" Noah confirmed.

"Woo-hoo!" Owen cheered. "That'll be easy! If it was easy to defend against those guys it should be _way _easy to attack them!"

"Maybe" Noah said, pondering aside.

"Maybe?" Cody repeated. "Oh man, there's that doom voice again. What's wrong?" Everyone turned with concern to their team leader.

"They were just subjected" Noah began "to a nearly flawless strategy. Now that they know how it works, they might try it themselves. If they do, they could luck out and shut us out of a victory just like we did."

"Oh" Owen said, less enthusiastic. "That's kinda bad."

"Like I said" Noah repeated, "'Maybe'. Even if they do, I doubt they'll be as efficient as we were."

"""

"I took this opportunity" heather started innocently "to both prove myself in front of everyone else, and to secure the MVP vote for this match."

"""

"Comment!" Heather chimed. Noah pointed to her and she chipperly sounded off. "Yeah, um, you told us before that once we capture a base, it's ours for good, right?"

"Yup, that's the point" Noah said.

"Well, I don't think they know that" Heather diabolically said. "They had their engineer guarding base A for no reason last match. I think we can easily outwit them this time."

"Good" Noah noted. The sliding metal doors that held them in suddenly flew open, revealing the small area and the paths that branched off to bases A and B.

"Alright!" Owen shouted. "Onward to base A!"

"No, B!" Izzy shouted.

"Yes, B!" Owen reaffirmed.

"""

"Its kinda hard to argue with Izzy" Owen admitted. "She gets sorta...angry with people who disagree with her..."

"""

"We should get A first" Gwen said.

"Hey now" Noah said, trying to calm everyone down before a riot broke out. "Gwen, heal Beth. Beth, stand next to the wall and shoot at it."

"With my rocket launcher?" she asked. Noah nodded.

"It'll get the ubercharge up faster." Noah said. Beth nodded and ran off, with Gwen behind her and healing. "We're all going to base B first. Every single one of us. We'll do the reverse 'Dirt Cheap' strategy this time. All of us in one place at one time!"

* * *

"Run!" Courtney shouted. "Run faster!!!" Her team was running full speed to base B so they could set their own defense up like their enemies had down not minutes ago.

"You know" Eva growled, "they won't get out of their base before us!"

"Don't care!" Courtney shouted. "The faster we get there the faster we can set up our defense! Now move!" Her team swooped on ahead of her, except Duncan, who she grabbed and kept at the top of the hill with her.

"Hey, princess?" Duncan started. "What's the big idea?"

"You're going to guard me" Courtney ordered. "We outmaneuvered their sniper last game, so if I take this position they might try and do the same. Just stay behind me and shoot anyone that tries to get here."

"I'll do you one better" he said. He took out his sticky-mine gun and fired a protective ring around her. Courtney repositioned nearby debris and boxes to make a sort of fortress that she could safely shoot out of.

"By the way" Courtney started, tying her hair up for a more practical style, "that was a great plan you had."

"Yeah, well" he modestly started, "too bad it didn't work..."

"It's okay" she said, giving a light titter as well. Duncan smiled at her and she smiled back, quite seductively. "We'll win this match for sure."

"Of course we will, babe" he said. "You're leading us."

"Well...I've been wrong before" Courtney admitted. "It's not like a guaranteed thing, anyway. Something could happen, you could die, I could die, we may not be able to-" Duncan grew worried about her inability to stop ranting so much that he dropped his gun and shut her up himself...with a kiss.

"""

Duncan glared into the camera for a few seconds, picking his nails with a knife. "What? You got a problem with a dude kissing his girl?"

"""

"Nice, dude" Geoff said from the bunker, watching up at the hill.

"They kiss?" Bridgette asked behind him.

"Oh, yeah" Geoff answered. "They're kinda giving me some ideas too, you know?" His aside to Bridgette was well received, and she kissed him too. Then, Courtney shot him from the top of the hill, toppling him on top of Bridgette and nearly breaking his teeth..

"No love on the battlefield!" Courtney shouted. Geoff got up and rubbed his head in pain.

"But, you were-" Geoff attempted to complain.

"Listen to the leader, pal" Duncan shouted. "You wouldn't want to get demoted, would ya?"

"Demoted?" Geoff repeated, unsure of how one could get demoted from grunt soldier.

"How, dude?" DJ shouted up.

"Engineer!" Courtney shouted back. The boys cringed and looked over at Ezekiel, who had somehow tipped over and broken the turret and dispenser he had spent the whole time building.

"Oh, crap!" Zeke exclaimed.

"""

"Okay," Geoff started, "I don't want to sound harsh or anything, but I'd rather be a meat shield than an engineer with that dude. Serious skill problems, man.

"""

"_Look sharp, Red Team!_" Mr. H announced. "_The match starts in 3! 2! 1!_" And they were off. Zeke panicked to pick up the spare parts and reassemble something quick while Eva stomped on the metal and revved her gun up, aiming at the concrete exit for the attacking Blues. No one came. The soldiers all stood at ready attention, with at least one at every window, and Harold prepared to cloak himself as the first visible casualty. A few seconds passed and nothing came out. Heather had peeked around the corner with her stealth activated and darted back out to report.

"Yeah, they're all in there" she said.

"Okay then" Noah commanded. "Everyone to Base A!" His team cheered and charged ahead.

"Hey, Courtney" Duncan started, "what if they go for base A first?"

"Well," Courtney said, "what would that do for them? Extend the time they have left to lose? Please."

"_Attention!_" Mr. H's voice shouted. "_The Blue team is capturing-_"

"_Capture for the Blues!" _Chris interrupted. The full force of every member of the attacking team capturing at once had reduced the time to but a second. Courtney was stunned, Duncan refrained from speaking, and the entire team bunkered down inside the base was prepared to the fullest.

"Watch it" Eva shouted. "They'll be coming from the tunnel this time. Make sure you shoot on sight, don't let them past the red shack! No one will get in here at all!" Her enthusiasm towards organized violence inspired everyone to to their best. They all equipped their most merciless smiles of combat and watched the cave entrance carefully while Eva kept her eyes watching out the front door. Zeke managed to scramble together another turret at the rear entrance, figuring that Eva was a better defense anyway. Everything was quiet for a few moments. However, with Bridgette healing Geoff, Katie healing Sadie and DJ doing his healing Tyler just in case, Eva realized that she was off guard.

"""

"What the heck!?" Eva shouted. "I'm the MVP here. I have the most power on this team! Why don't I get a medic at all times anymore!?"

"""

"Hey, medic!" Eva shouted. DJ cringed and stopped his stream on Tyler, preparing to rush over to the burly guard.

"Sorry, girl" DJ apologized. "I just-" of course, his excuse was cut short, as Trent had slipped himself just into view of Eva's eye in time for her to watch a bullet pierce her head. DJ shrieked like a woman and ducked into the corner. On the concrete exit, Trent reloaded and retreated back a step.

"Okay" Trent said. "That was way too easy."

"Then assume the worst" Noah instructed. Back at base A, the team had gotten back up by Owen lifting them up one by one so they wouldn't have to tunnel in through the cave entrance or the hill entrance. "Courtney's probably imitating your strategy for sniping as well. We can assume she has someone guarding her up there too, out of paranoia of a rear attack."

"I doubt that" Heather said. She de-cloaked just behind Noah, which startled him to have her of all people behind him. "It's just her and Duncan up there, sweet-talking up a storm. I nearly barfed."

"Glad you didn't" Noah said. "Leshawna and Gwen, team up and take out Duncan and Courtney on the hill! Beth, you go with them!" All three saluted and sped off. "Justin, time to shine. Use the 'Shining Glory' tactic!" Justin nodded, stowed his weapon and rushed over to the exit. He looked over and, to his pleasure, saw only girls and pacifist DJ huddling around Eva's corpse. He took a jump down and whistled for their attention. Courtney spotted him a moment late, as Trent leaned out and caught her attention by shooting in her direction.

"Oh!" she gasped. "Wrong move, buddy!" Courtney took aim, targeted Trent directly in the head, and attempted to fire. Her gun jammed, however, from not loading after shooting Geoff. "Wha-, oh you stupid piece of CRAP!!!" Duncan glanced over as she pounded a bullet into her gun while Trent shot at her. Down below, Justin teased the Red team girls by ducking in and out of cover. His strategy had Katie and Sadie wooed enough for Izzy and Heather to slip out undetected except by Harold, who tried in vain to tug at the soldier's shoulders for attention.

"Oh, come on, guys!" Bridgette exclaimed. "This is obviously a distraction!" On cue, the wood started rapidly splintering just at her feet. Shots pinged off the control point and the wood in quick succession. Noah and Cody were firing from behind the rocks while Justin posed about with great, manly flair as a distraction.

"""

"If you've got it" Justin said, chuckling a little bit "heh, well, you know the rest."

"""

"Guys?" Harold said with great caution. He had just seen Izzy slip about behind cover outside. "I think we're being set up..."

"Ahh..." Katie and Sadie sighed in unison. "Isn't he drea-" Of course, in their daze, they had forgotten that he was on the enemy team and he blew them back to the rear of the base. With a wink, Justin disappeared with the other two behind the rock wall.

"Great job, dude" Cody congratulated. Justin winked in thanks and reloaded his gun. "So how long you think this will take?" Cody now asked Noah. Noah quickly crunched a few numbers in his head and came up with an answer out of thin air.

"Less than ten minutes" he said "at this pace. "At the most, we'll skim the time limit b a minute or less."

"In other words" Justin now started, "if they can't shape up quick, we'll win?" Noah gave a thumb up in response.

* * *

How long will the Red's "shut-out" strategy work? Will it work at all? Just how many hook ups will occur next time? Moreover, who _won't _get to hook up at least once. I bet its' Noah. Well, maybe I'm wrong! Go ahead and find out next week on Total...Drama...ah, you get it.


	12. Gravel Pit 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"URH!" Courtney growled vehemently. "What are those morons doing down there!?"

"Looks like they're having fun just watching" Duncan said over her shoulder. Only one rocket flew out of the base at a time from Geoff. He and Bridgette made a rush over to the side but, from Courtney's point of view, it didn't look like it worked. Bits of what she assumed were them both flew up from the rocks after a short burst of automatic fire and a sharp whiz of rockets.

"Hey" Duncan said, "while they're all down here, why don't we go capture the other base?"

"We can't" Courtney admitted. "I found that out before the match started. Once they capture a point, it's theirs."

"That's cheap" Duncan complained. "Does he know that?" Courtney saw that he was pointing, and she followed his finger down to Tyler who was rushing through the tunnel entrance to base A. Courtney slapped her forehead and shook her head in disappointment.

"Why?" she began, "why didn't I just break his legs when I could!" However, thanks to her lamenting, she just barely noticed Heather disguising herself at the rear of the base with Izzy guarding her.

"Okay" Heather said, now slowly becoming Courtney. "I'll go in and confuse them. When someone comes out, you burn them. Got it?" Izzy saluted and Heather slipped into the base. Courtney up on the hill aimed carefully to take out Izzy, to eliminate the bigger threat while she could. As she was ready to shoot, Trent reengaged her by blasting away one of her defensive boxes. Courtney attempted to ignore the threat and fire anyway, but an explosion from behind shook her.

"What the heck!?" Duncan shouted. Rounding the corner was the team sent to destroy the hilltop offensive. Leshawna in front, being healed by Gwen at the far back and Beth in between. Leshawna continued to launch grenades in Courtney's direction, most of them coming up short and rolling up behind her. Duncan, instantly prioritizing his leader over himself, gave Courtney a gentle shoulder-tackle off the hill as the grenades blew him up. Courtney, now barely able to stand up, cracked her back noisily and got up to her feet. Izzy saw her in the rising pile of rubble and started to run over. Courtney started to panic, knowing she couldn't fight back with her arm bending the way it was, she she screamed and started running.

"Okay, you guys!" the fake Courtney said inside the base, ducking in the corner to avoid the incoming shots. "We need to amp up the power here! We're getting creamed!"

"We can't!" Ezekiel shouted. "The girls are swooning over that Justin dude, they won't fire anymore."

"We can't help that!" Courtney shouted. "Harold, go out and flank them! Maybe you can disable their defenses and flush them out."

"No way" Harold protested. The living looked at him with shock as DJ healed everyone he could.

"What!?" Courtney scorned. "I'm your leader. You have to do what I say!" Harold, instead of responding verbally, put his revolver to her face. "Wha!? What are you doing? Are you nuts?"

"No" Harold answered. "But you're dead...Heather." Courtney's face was stunned for a few seconds, then shifted to malice in the last second before Harold shot her. Pointblank with that gun was lethal, and Courtney's body changed back into Heather's as it hit the floor.

"""

"How did I know it was her?" Harold rhetorically asked. He took a breath from his inhaler and answered "instinct."

"""

"I swear" Heather hotly started, "I won't let that little upstart geek embarrass me like that again! I'll get him back..."

"""

"Dude" DJ said, amazed, "how'd you know?" Harold pointed over the the window, where he saw Courtney being chased by the crazy Izzy down through the tunnel and back. Harold ran over to the window, took careful aim, and started shooting at Izzy. One shot connected, forcing her to stop, then another clipped her. Izzy shouted out in surprise and crawled over for cover, avoiding the rest of Harold's clip and giving Courtney a chance to get back into the base.

"Thanks Harold" she said. "I thought I wouldn't get awa-" and then Zeke smashed her int the head with his wrench. She stumbled forward, but recovered from the initial jerk of her head being hit forward in time to punch her engineer in the gut. "What the hell!?"

"I thought you were another spy..." Zeke feebly answered. "Well I'm not! Harold just killed her!"

"You need to pay more attention, dude" DJ said. Courtney, still weakened, recovered part of her health with a dispenser and hopped out a window. Leshawna was making her way down the platform with Gwen and Beth in tow, meaning they had cleared the hill out themselves. Courtney loaded her gun, crouched down, and listened to a familiar whine of Eva's gun as the maniac girl opened fire and took out Beth.

"That's it!" Gwen yelled. "Turn around, Leshawna! It's killing time!"

"Please tell me that's not your catchphrase!" Leshawna shouted back. Gwen activated her ubercharge and ran ahead behind the now invincible Leshawna. She fired a full clip at Eva, who just brushed off the explosions and kept walked forward. Then, Leshawna smiled and clicked an alternate trigger on her gun. Eva disappeared in a loud explosion of sticky grenades below her while Gwen and Leshawna celebrated.

"Oh, hey Courtney!" Gwen cheered out, waving at her. Courtney riled back in surprise and aimed at her face. "Oh, relax. We're invincible."

"But she isn't" Leshawna growled. She aimed up with her gun, but Courtney was already screaming away. "That was too easy."

"This whole game is a little too easy" Gwen said thoughtfully as her ubercharge crackled off. "I feel like the Red team isn't really trying that hard."

"Amen" Izzy's voice agreed from afar. She was under the base, as Duncan was last game, just crawling around with her gun strapped to her back. "I've been down here for ten minutes, knocking on the wood, and no one even cares!"

"That's great Izzy" Gwen said. "Let's try to capture before they all get back."

"There they are!" Geoff shouted. He and Bridgette came from the top of the hill, firing down on Leshawna and Gwen. Gwen got away thanks to her rapid regeneration, but Leshawna didn't. She ducked behind the rockwall with Noah and Cody, taking notice to their turret system that had been set up.

"Yo" Noah casually greeted as he read a book.

* * *

"Come on!" Tyler shouted, stomping capture point A repeatedly. "Stupid foot!" He curled up his leg and grabbed a hold of his foot and began shouting at it. "Work, darn it! I know where you live!" Then, he fell off balance and hopped for a bit before falling into the wooden barricade barrier.

"Tyler?" a feminine voice called out. Tyler sat up and saw Lindsay cresting the hill quickly. "Hi!"

"Hey!" Tyler answered. She ran full force into his torso and he scooped her up with his arms. "How's it going?"

"Confusing" Lindsay answered. "I can never find my way around here. There's to many tunnels and junk."

"I know" Tyler agreed. "I got here on chance, actually. This stupid capture thing won't capture!"

"Oh, it won't." Lindsay said, suddenly having knowledge that Tyler didn't. "Noah said that once the point gets captured, it stays captured in this game."

"Oh" Tyler calmly said with wide eyes. "I did not know that..."

"Yeah" Lindsay wisted. They stayed together for a moment longer before they separated. The wind blew up some dust between them.

"You wanna make out?" Tyler asked.

"""

"Well" Tyler argued "what was I supposed to ask her? It's not like there are any restaurant or...actually, there aren't any restrooms around either. I've been holding it in since last match..."

"""

"Okay!" Lindsay cheerfully answered. They both headed off down below to one of the shacks in the area for some privacy while the explosions mutely through the tunnels and passageways. Back at base B, the Blue team was making a final offensive to take the base before time ran out. Less than two minutes remained.

"Wow" Noah said. "I didn't expect it to take this long..."

"I guess they're better than we thought" Justin observed. The girls had gotten over the initial thrill of watching him kill them and now were back to return the favor. At length, a full offensive was launched from both sides. Trent continued to snipe from the exit, Owen fired continuously while a dispenser healed and loaded him, Gwen switched between rushes with Justin and Beth, and the Red team held everything back. The defensive power of the MVP Eva was too much with a medic and a dispenser keeping her up, and the back defense of the base had been fortified.

"Let's go Duncan" Courtney kindly ordered. Duncan nodded behind her and they rushed off together. To uneven the scores, she snuck around through the bases and out through the base A exit tunnel to get a solid bead on Owen as he fired from cover. "Say 'cheese'..." she lowed threateningly.

"CHEESE!" Izzy shouted. From under the shack where Courtney was covered, Izzy crawled out and hacked at her legs. Duncan fired on her and blew her apart, but it was too little to late for Courtney, who had no legs to stand on anymore.

"Duncan" she weakly wheezed, bleeding out her last health points. "Please...make sure...the others..."

"Yeah?" Duncan asked. "Go on, you can do it!"

She too one final breath in and told him, with the last ounce of her strength, "don't screw it up!" She dies in his arms. Duncan, looked down at her, then shot up to the sky with outstretched arms.

"NOOOOO!!!!" he roared.

"""

"Hey" Duncan narrated, "when you die every minute or so, it becomes a little tedious, and what better way to relax in a war then to over dramatize someone's death? Besides, she always comes back with some new problem to push on everyone. Death's like a break for us now."

"""

Duncan took up his gun, picked out a target, and started roaring out a volley of sticky mines. They landed behind the rock wall, all around the turrets and the engineers. Noah looked at them with shock as they landed and hurried to get out of the area. Gwen ducked away as well, just in time for nearly everything to go up in shrapnel, including Cody.

"Gah!" Owen shouted, then farted in distress. "What was that!?"

"Gwen, heal him, quick!" Noah shouted. His alarm was in turn alarming to her, as his plan was starting to fall apart and he knew it. Gwen ubercharged Owen and they both marched forward slowly. Eva was being pushed back, Duncan was climbing in through a window, and Trent was trying to get a good shot. Noah hurried back to where most of his offensive line died and started building in haste.

"""

"I wasn't mad" Noah testified, "I was shocked. Duncan's getting good at this game really fast. It's almost...alarming."

"""

"Aha!" Trent shouted. "I got you now, Geoff!" He fired and Geoff fell. Perfect shot. Eva noticed this, but gave it no more than a glance over her shoulder. She kept her fire heavily concentrated on the invincible Owen, who was just a stones throw from the ramp. Then, a chill shot through Eva's body.

"""

"I've felt something like that before" Eva explained. "It was during the rugby finals. I thought I was running unopposed, but then I got this weird chill, so I looked back and this crazy-fast girl was catching up with me. I sprinted the whole field with her nearly at my heels. She tackled me right into the fence. It sucked, but I learned how to use it to my advantage."

"""

She knew Trent was aiming at her, so she leaned her head far back, keeping her gun in its former position and firing. The shot went straight past her face and into Harold's chest.

"AGH!" he shouted as he fell to the floor. "Gosh!" Trent was speechless, but he composed himself and tried to fire again. Luckily for the Reds, Sadie and Katie knew where he was, and volleyed him with rockets and syringes. Trent got out of the way just in time.

"Woah" Trent sighed. "Didn't see that coming..."

"Just a bit...further!" Owen grunted. Gwen stayed close behind him, as much as she didn't want to, as he took a heavy step into the capture point.

"_Attention!"_ Mr. H announced, _"One minute remaining!"_ Despite their best efforts, even under the heavy enemy fire, Owen was unable to hold up, even with Gwen healing him. He eventually got killed, and Gwen soon after by Eva.

"YEAH!" Eva roared. "No one's getting in here anytime soon! We got this match in the-" she stopped mid sentence. With Harold writhing on the floor, Heather was able to slip in and stab Eva right in the back as, who else, Harold himself. She vanished in a puff of smoke and faded out of view as Eva's body dropped forward.

"Oh, crap!" Ezekiel shouted. "Spy!"

"Shoot everyone!" Harold commanded from the floor. "Make sure the spy's gone."

"I'm on it!" Sadie shouted. She started shooting all around, meaning that Trent was unguarded. Trent noticed the firing on him had stopped, so he ducked back out and concentrated with instantaneous adrenaline. He sniped Sadie quickly and efficiently.

"SADIE!!" Katie screamed. She got sniped next.

"Sadie and Katie!" Harold groaned. Izzy came in from the back and used her gun to blind fire into the corner where Ezekiel and his turret were. She incinerated them both. Harold stayed dead still, drawing upon his 'Bear Attack' survival instincts honed from years of scouting so no one would shoot at him. The Blues still alive, Izzy, Noah, Heather and now Beth, gathered hastily into the capture.

* * *

"What's going on?" Beth asked. "We should be capturing it!"

"Weird, right?" Izzy said. "Maybe it's broken."

"Or it's lagging..." Noah figured. Then, he saw all the bodies still in the base. "Or, perhaps someone here isn't dead yet after all." Harold wanted to gasp, but suppressed the urge.

"I'll check them" Izzy offered. She walked over to Sadie and Katie and burned them. Nothing happened, so she went to Eva. Trent decided to come out but got a short hail of fire as he did. Apparently, Courtney was back.

"Guys, they're coming!" he warned. "Why aren't we capturing."

"Someone's not dead yet..." Noah said.

"Well I killed Harold, I know that." Trent said defensively. Izzy shrugged and skipped over his body to fricassee her own team mates instead.

"We need to hide!" Heather said. "They'll just come in here, kill us, and then we'll have to defend them again!"

"Scatter!" Noah ordered. Heather, using Izzy as a ladder, climbed up onto the archway of the rear entrance and held on tight. Noah hid in the corner and started slowly building a turret. Trent picked the other corner and stepped on Harold's body, forcing him to cough. That was the straw that broke his cover, and his back. Trent, not wanting to seem like a traitor for letting Harold accidentally live and stop them, retrieved his machete and prepared to slice off his head. Harold drew upon his strength and stopped the blade right above his head with his knife.

"I knew it!" Heather shouted.

"""

"Trent is so dead for letting him live" Heather said justly.

"""

"Kill!" Izzy roared. Harold pushed himself up, kicked Trent into the wall and got out his gun. He shot Izzy's hand so she would drop her gun, then rushed her with his knife.

"I shall defeat you!" he proclaimed. "For my honor!"

"You can't defeat me" Izzy said, pulling out her ax in defense. "You are weak!" She struck down and he guarded against her. The ridiculous fight had only begun when the clock entered the last stretch.

"Hurry!" Noah called. "Just kill him, someone!"

"NO!" Izzy shouted. "I shall destroy him, for he is weak with the force!"

"""

"You see" Chris said, "That's what I'm talking about. You think we can handle all the lawsuits that come with saying this kind of stuff!? They should stick to the 'Wolf-Sheep' craps instead."

"""

"In your dreams I am!" Harold protested. They started swinging, knife versus ax, ninja warrior versus psycho-hose beast...with an ax. It was an all or nothing fight. Harold summoned up his courageous will and started to push her back out the main entrance. Noah, wanting to keep Izzy's fight fair enough, turned his turret away, knowing that if a capture was happening as time ended, the match would go into overtime. Izzy increased her defense as Harold stabbed and struck away, with Heather watching unamused up on the rafter.

"I swear!" Harold announced as he caught Izzy's ax in the air, "I swear that before this map is over, and before we all are done, by the end of today I will have killed you!"

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah!" Izzy mocked. She kicked him and sent him tumbling into the dirt, and the capture initiated. "you're just a lot of talk. You can't beat me!" She raised her weapon up high, ready to bring it down and split him in two. "I have an AX!" She swung, hitting the rock as Harold rolled away. He jumped up and stabbed her several times in the gut. Her response was a knee to the chin and an ax handle to the back of the head. Both of them were on equal ground now, with the clock almost at zero.

"Get ready to run" Noah said.

"Why?" Trent groaned.

"Once we capture this point we'll only have about six minutes to capture the last one." he explained.

"Six minutes?" Heather asked. "It took us nearly double that to take this one! There's no way we can do it!"

"Good observation." Courtney's voice said. She was just barely inside the base, and she was aiming straight up. Before she could react, Heather was dead. A super-skillful shot without a scope. Trent and Noah opened fire on her quick enough.

"Look!" Beth shouted, pointing outside. Izzy was on the ground with Harold pressing down on her. She decided to end the fight quickly with a swift leg-jab to his crotch. Harold squealed and dropped down, clutching his injured groin, while Izzy got back up and prepared to finish him.

"You see?" Izzy said. "You can't win. I have more on you than you do on me."

"Maybe" Harold squeaked, "for now. But we'll see, next time..." Izzy decapitated him just in time to hear Chris's announcement.

"_Match Over! Blue team has failed to secure the objective..."_ Noah was the most surprised out of all of them. A true rarity.

"""

"I'm getting really hungry" Owen said. "We better win, because seriously, I'm about ready eat my own team mates..."

"""

"Harold's going down" Izzy growled. "Anytime he wants, I'm just full of kill and ready to explode! BOOM!!! Hahahaha!"

* * *

Next week, the surprising upset that has even the genius Noah worried? What happened to overtime? Moreover, what happened, Blue Team? Will this defensive strategy lead to a stalemate, and if so, who will win? Can Heather secure the MVP for this match or will it go to someone else? Will Tyler and Lindsay ever actually play the game again now that they can just hang together? Who knows! Tune in next week and find out!


	13. Gravel Pit 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Okay" Noah protested, "Time out. What the heck, Chris!?"

"So..." Courtney began, "it's a, a tie!?"

"_Yup, basically"_ Chris answered.

"No way" Noah continued. "If a team is capturing a base when time runs out, the game goes into overtime! That's how the game works!"

"Hey dudes" Cody said as he entered. "Did I miss much?"

"Chris is cheating" Beth summarized.

"Oh" Cody said. "Not cool."

"You're just upset" Courtney haughtily began "because you couldn't win this match."

"Why aren't you dead?" Noah shot back. "Why isn't she dead?" His question was directed this time at Beth, who shrugged.

"_Listen, dude" _Chris began again, hoping not to be interrupted. _"I read the rules to this game and, in the event of a tie, decided that our time slot on the network couldn't handle infinite stalemates. In the event that a game like this has an ending like this, where neither team is making any headway, the game rules will change."_

"But we almost had it" Noah argued. "If you would have let it go into overtime-"

"Look outside" Courtney offered. Noah peeked out the base to see the Red team in almost its entirety standing at attention. The rest of Blue team eventually showed up as well, save Lindsay.

"""

"I think we're in trouble" Trent admitted. "Noah's a cool dude, but if he gets angry, I'm sure he can hold the grudge."

"""

"_So, any more complaints?"_ Chris asked. Noah took a deep breath in, then turned. His team expected a tongue lashing, and Courtney expected a sarcastic fit, but to everyone's surprise he was calm.

"Who attacks next?" he asked. Everyone's jaw dropped a bit.

"_Good question" _Chris admitted. _"Luckily, I know exactly how to resolve that dilemma! With me here is Chef-"_ A throat was audibly cleared, obviously from Chris' friend, _"Uh, Mr. Hatchet, and in my pocket is a coin. We shall toss to see who attacks next!"_

"Foul!" Courtney yelled. "I call a foul! That's not fair!"

"""  
"I wasn't whining" Courtney whined, "I was calling attention to the rules."

"""  
"My team just defended for a whole round!" she argued. "Make the Blues attack!"

"Um, we just attacked for a whole round" Noah pointed out with his superior voice. "I'll bet we're more tired than you guys are. Besides, everyone knows defense only really boils down to sitting on your butt without letting the enemy get to you, and you guys couldn't even do that right. You should just-" forfeit was the next word. Courtney smashed him with the butt of her gun before he said it. "Okay, ow!?"

"Hey! Settle down!" DJ pleaded. "The round's over, stop the violence!" Courtney whipped her gun at him.

"We're attacking next round!" Courtney demanded.

"That's cool" DJ squeaked.

"Wait a sec" Izzy began. "Why do you get to decide who does what. You guys lost too! As far as I'm concerned, you can't say jack-" and then Courtney, in her fit of anger, shot Izzy. The extra dab of damage added with the sustained damage from her fight with Harold had killed her.

"Izzy!" Owen dramatically shouted. "Why!?" He pulled out his gun and, before he could rev it, Courtney apathetically raised her gun and shot him in the face. The Blue soldiers were ready behind him as he dropped and wildly fired to blow her up. The outraged Red team glared down the smug and smiling Blue team, and a war ensued. Rockets flew and bullets blazed all within the confined farm-house sized base. Chunks of people were flying everywhere. Chris became annoyed.

"Okay, Hatchet" he started. "Heads, Blues attack. Tails, Reds attack." Mr. Hatchet nodded and Chris flipped the coin. At least three of the fighters died as it went up and two more as it came down. Chris grabbed it, turned it, and slapped it on his wrist. Mr. Hatchet closed in to get a closer look. "Last chance to change it" Chris offered. Hatchet shook his head and Chris removed his hand. Heads.

"_Attention, contestants! Great news!" _Everyone stopped their squabbling temporarily at that. Granted, there were only about four living fighters at the time._ "Blue team is once again on the offensive!"_ The living Blues groaned while the Reds smirked with delight. "_However, to be fair, we'll give you a ten minute rest to plan at your spawn point." _Relief came. "_ And, here's yet another twist!"_

"""

"Enough!" Heather yelled. "Make him stop!"

"""

"_The rules will be altered as thus:"_ Chris continued._ "There will be only one point, base C, to capture. Each team will only have a ten minute frame to capture it. If neither team can capture it, the judges will convene and decide the winners based on performance. And with that, I bid you all good luck!"_

Suddenly, the teams were slowly revived and sent back to the respective bases. The Reds went back to the base they had just gotten sick of as defenders and the Blues went to the same base for offense. Meanwhile, Lindsay and Tyler continued to make out, ignoring the announcement in favor of each other. Lindsay was, thusly, transported back to her base hovering over the floor for a second before hitting it with pursed lips.

"Ow!" she exclaimed. "That smarted..."

"Where were you the whole time!?" Heather exclaimed. "We could have won if you had run distraction a bit more!"

"It's okay" Noah said. "Leave her alone. We have plans to concoct."

"Um, I'm really confused right now..." Lindsay said. She pushed herself up and, neglecting to take into account her undone top and bra, stood accidentally topless in her team's room. She was completely oblivious. "Where am I, exactly? ...and does anyone else feel a draft?" Her shivering only made the blood rush to Cody's head faster, and he fainted. Owen gripped his bottom lip with his eyes bugging, Trent cocked a brow in surprise and most of the girls just shook their heads.

"""

Cody sniffed back a stream of blood while clutching the bridge of his nose. "I love this show..."

"""

* * *

"Okay guys" Courtney began in the base. "Here's the plan: we spread out."

"EHH" Duncan sounded, imitating a buzzer. "Wrong. If we spread out they'll overwhelm us. We need to stay together."

"Will you just listen!?" Courtney hissed.

"I agree with Mr. Mohawk" Eva said, standing up. "If we separate we'll be at a disadvantage. They're going to stay together in their little pack formation until the end. I know it!"

"Calm down, guys" Tyler coolly said. "Let her talk. She's our leader, after all."

"Thank you" Courtney said. Tyler nodded rhythmically at her. "You're still not off the hook for abandoning the battle for that blond, though." Tyler winced. Somehow, he knew she wouldn't get tricked so easily.

"Who cares if she's our leader?" Eva growled. "I'm the MVP! I have way more power to contribute to our defense than any of you weaklings...no offense."

"Hmph" Courtney huffed. "Regardless, we need a better strategy. Hoarding our defenses in one spot all the time will only result in another stalemate, and we don't want that!"

"Why not?" Katie asked.

"It's better than losing." Sadie pointed out.

"No it isn't!" Courtney shouted. "If we end up with another tie, they'll have to judge us based on performance! And between the general brainlessness of this team coupled with the rag-tag, half-assed strategies you dopes come up with on your own, we're going to lose the entire game!!!" Her scathing rant, while hurtful, gave the Red team a new perspective.

"""

"Wow" Duncan drew out, "I didn't know she had it in her...really!"

"""  
"And I thought Eva was mean" Geoff admitted.

"""

"Yeah, I was harsh" Eva confessed, "but that was plain brutal. That's the kinda leader I want to line up with!"

"""

"Alright!" Geoff said, standing up to try and bring order, "let's all chill!"

"He's right" Bridgette added. "We need to calm down."

"No" Courtney patronized "we need to plan."

"I'll help" Eva offered. Courtney raised a brow at her, not expecting the wild ruffian to fall in line so easily.

"Alright, sure Eva" Courtney agreed. Eva walked over and got in close to growl a lowed threat to her leader.

"I'll only help you" Eva hissed "if you give me a ranking promotion."

"What!?" Courtney hushed. "You're already the MVP, leave it at that!"

"No way" Eva demanded. "You can be Commander-in-Chief. I don't care. But I get to be the General,. Field Commander. You issue the orders, and I enforce them as I see fit."

"You sure you won't just change them entirely?" Courtney asked.

"Yeah" Duncan softly butted in from the tight huddle. "That seems more your style anyway." Eva pushed him away and glared back at Courtney.

"I can get this team together" Eva offered. "You plan and I'll follow, as long as everyone else is following me." Courtney considered her options, but given that most of her team was more off put to her than to Eva, she sighed at the obvious decision.

"""  
"I am the leader here" Courtney reminded. "Not Geoff, not Bridgette, never Tyler or Zeke, and certainly not Eva! Me!...still, with things the way they, are, what choice do I have?"

"""

"Fair enough" Courtney groaned. They shook hands, Eva nearly crushing her, and parted while everyone else except Duncan was in a meditative circle at Bridgette's request. "I still move" Courtney began to her gathered 'team' of planners "that we divide our defense. It's an unexpected move that will catch the Blues off guard at first."

"Yeah, at first" Eva added. "They'll catch on eventually."

"Right" Courtney pointed out. "We'll keep ourselves spread out at first, taking out anyone we can, and then the teams will slowly converge back to base C. With our front line that forward, we'll waste their time as much as possible. They'll have no choice but to gather together and use everyone at once. Knowing what resources they have, Heather will probably try and sneak behind our defenses if we focus on one point, so we'll keep a team apart from the main team as a sort of wall. Understood?" The map they were given, which was holographic, was now marked up with many stylistic patterns and maneuvers. Each corridor and major entrance had its own team far in front of it which would move slowly back as the match progressed.

"Great work, princess" Duncan complimented. Courtney blushed. Eva scoffed.

"Well, that _is_ a pretty good plan" Eva begrudgingly admitted.

"Great" Courtney chirped. "Eva, you get everyone and divide them up into groups. As a failsafe, we'll leave Ezekiel behind to guard the capture point himself."

"And so he doesn't get in the way" Duncan added. Courtney shushed him with a smile.

"Okay, maggots, listen up!" Eva shouted. She stomped the ground, which shook the base, and stole everyone's attention. "Here's that plan:..."

* * *

"Okay" Noah said, still smiling. "Everyone get it?" His team nodded. "Great. Pop Quiz time. Lindsay, what's your team's objective?"

"Uh" Lindsay, nervously started, only soon before realizing why the draft was so strong. She cleared her throat and began. "Me, Beth, Gwen and Owen, and Cody all go through base A to get to base C...?"

"Correct" Noah chuckled. Suddenly, upon looking at Lindsay, he burst out in laughter.

"""

"Hahaha" Noah chuckled. "Have you ever even heard of anyone that dense? Hahaha..."

"""

"Yeah, yeah" Heather annoyedly said, "you saw Lindsay's boobs and it was hysterical. Get over it!"

"Please get over it, Noah?" Lindsay pleaded. Noah calmed down and silenced his laughter, keeping his smile.

"Fair enough. Ms. Patronize" he now directed at Heather. "What's your team's strategy?"

"You should know" Heather patronized, ironically. "You're in that team."

"That's not the point of a Pop Quiz" Noah sighed. Cody, eager to show off his smarts and rekindle his college attitude, raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Nosebleed?" Noah pointed.

"Team 2, comprised of You, Heather, Leshawna, Trent and Justin, go through base B" Cody explained. "Then, when we're in position, we sandwich from the opposite entrances to base C and overwhelm their defense."

"Meanwhile" Trent said, "I break off in the crossfire and get to the hallway at the top of the hill to snipe off their defenses."

"And I" Heather proudly began "tear them apart from behind enemy lines, as always."

"Great" Noah said.

"Umm..." Izzy hummed, "you know, I just noticed that I'm not on a team...what's up with that!?"

"You, Izzy" Noah began, "have an important mission to be accomplished independently of us." Everyone listened in, this part not being discussed just a bit earlier but also not getting caught by anyone the first time. "Granted, you are a great asset and soldier to this team. No offense, but you're a totally unpredictable psycho..." Izzy waved the offense off and smiled "...and I intend to use that craziness the whole of the show. Your team, Izzy, is Team X. Your objective: kill everyone. Just run around and kill anyone you find. If you happen to find us, spy check. Do whatever comes to your imbalanced little mind."

"""

"I know that girl is messed up" Leshawna started, "but for that to be an asset? A value? That's pretty messed up, if you ask me."

"""

"I have a cousin who has a mental imbalance" Izzy incidentally said. "Once, he climbed a mountain with his girlfriend, and then he threatened to jump off it for no reason at all. It was, like, totally unprovoked. I think she said she was cheating on him or something, and he grabbed her and yelled 'Then I'm taking you with me, whore!' or something. It's okay, though, he got a light sentence in jail-"

"Can I interrupt for a sec?" Gwen asked. Izzy nodded happily. "You're disturbed" she snapped.

"Exactly, Gwen" Noah interjected. "Exactly. Izzy, can you do this? Can you be completely unpredictable and weird all the time?"

"OH YEAH!" Izzy shouted. She started spraying a roar of flames form her gun. Noah smirked his evil little smirk, letting his team mates know everything was alright with the world...for now...

* * *

Next week: Will Noah's brilliant new tactic pay off? Will the Red's perfect defense be just what they need to hold off the Blues again? Will Ezekiel get a break anytime soon? Well, you don't have to tune in next week to know that, but the rest is unknown right now! So watch (as it were) TDTF next week, or be left out of the awesome loop forever!


	14. Gravel Pit 6

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The first attempt of Noah's strategy: Go! Teams A and B gathered at their respective gates and planned separately from each other. What would happen would be a mystery.

"Okay you guys" Cody said as authoritatively as he could. "Noah promoted me to the second-in-command, so I get to strategize for us. Now then, here's my plan. I'll set up a teleporter entrance just outside of the gate so the Reds can't destroy it. Then, once we advance into the C corridor I'll drop an exit and, hopefully, a turret. Gwen, Owen, your job is to plow through whatever defenses they have for us. We don't know what will happen. They could send out their scout and recon back and forth to see where our team is going."

"Yes, sir!" Owen saluted. Gwen was already healing him with her charge ready from Beth's help.

"Beth" Cody continued, "you stay at the back and fire on them if they're in a group. Don't waste shots on moving targets. If anything, shoot up Eva the most. She's our biggest threat." Beth nodded. "Since we're going through Base A, the enemy could have a terrain advantage at first. Therefore, we should split up and try to get to the corridor one at a time. Owen and Gwen will flank to the left up the steep hill, Lindsay, Beth and I will go right up the sloped hill."

"Um, I have a question" Lindsay said. "What am I doing again?"

"You just stick with me and Beth" Cody instructed. "And, uh, try and keep your shirt on."

"Okay" Lindsay sadly replied.

"""

"Okay" Lindsay began, "that was probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me! It was way worse than when I showed up to a friend's pool party wearing the same bikini. I felt so bad that she had to put another, uglier one on, but naked in front of guys!?" She finished her segment with embarrassed groaning.

"""

"Ah, he's just joking, Lindsay" Gwen said, trying to be friendly. "Just shoot whoever you can with a pistol and defend with your scatter gun up close. Got it?"

"Yeah" Lindsay affirmed. "Thanks."

"Alright" Cody finalized. "Our plan is perfect. As soon as these gates open, we rush out full blast!"

"Okay" Owen grunted. "I think I can hold it that long..."

"Hold what?" Gwen asked ominously. Meanwhile the other team finalized their plan as well. Izzy hung around with them, jogging in place, as she would burst out from that gate with her own plan already formulated.

"I'm dropping a teleporter as soon as we get out" Noah instructed. "When we move up, I'll drop and exit. This way we can join the fight instantly provided the exit isn't destroyed. Trent, this is where your short-range plays come in. You have to find ammo and chuck it to me so I can speedily make an exit and a turret to defend it. It won't work against Duncan if he uses his head, but everyone else will be stopped by my turret and our portal will stay up."

"Roger" Trent said. "But, if they're out there, I should snipe first from the exit, right?"

"That's a good idea" Noah agreed. "You have the range here. We're just your defense with heavy guns. Heather, cloak ASAP and get a disguise. Pick someone who's in the fray with us and sneak around them all. If we're lucky, they won't spot you."

"What if we're not lucky then?" Heather asked. The team just looked away from her, as the answer was rather obvious. "Grr!"

"If they do have a defense at the hill" Noah continued "we should sandwich them from both sides of the hill. Justin from the right and Leshawna from the left. Heather with Justin and I'll go with Leshawna."

"While Izzy brings down the burn hammer!" Izzy declared loudly.

"Right..." Noah said. "Get ready to run, people. As soon as these gates open, we don't stop moving until we're on top of that tower!"

"Yeah!" his team cheered. While the Blues were ready inside their own base, the Reds were having a spot of trouble exiting theirs.

* * *

"This stupid door" Eva grunted "won't open!" She pulled and heaved at the sliding metal door with all her sasquatchian strength but it didn't budge. Duncan perched himself up next to the speaker on the wall and knocked on it.

"Yo, H man!" Duncan called. "What's the deal? How come we can't leave?"

"_Who said you got to leave?"_ Mr. H said sinisterly over the speaker. _"No one can leave before the start of the match. That's just how it's fair."_

"But it's not fair!" Courtney argued. "We got to leave as soon as we wanted the last games!"

"_Tough!"_ Mr. H said._ "They won't be able to leave immediately either when they defend!"_

"We got a head start last time because we're defense!" Geoff argued. "We need the extra time to, like, set up and stuff!" Eva started charging and tackling the door, which dented it but did no real permanent damage.

"_Alright, fine!"_ Mr. H finally agreed. A short klaxon blared and the doors opened with a grind. _"You've got two minutes now!"_

"Go! Go! Go!" Courtney commanded. Her team rushed out and split up to their appropriate areas.

"What about-" Zeke started.

"No!" Courtney quickly shouted as she sprinted away. Zeke lowered his finger sadly.

"""

"I just don't get it" Ezekiel said. "I mean, I have a great defense thingy like they all do...why not have me on the front lines?" he asked while picking his nose.

"""

"My team!" Courtney shouted. "To the base!"

"My team!" Eva shouted. "To A base!"

"Which base!?" Katie shouted back.

"A base! Base A!" Eva replied.

"I'm still confused" Sadie admitted but ran after Eva anyway.

"Keep your eyes open, string-bean!" Eva growled at Harold. He saluted and stod firm in the corridor separating base A and C.

"Dude!" Duncan said to DJ in the B-C shed area, "can you use your syringe gun just in case?"

"Suer thing" DJ said. He took out the gun, took one lok at it and saw all the needles. "EEEEE! I change my mind, man. I can't use this thing!"

"Then give it to me!" Duncan shouted. DJ fearfully winged the gun to Duncan who caught it with his head and let the needle stick their for a few seconds.

"What's in these things?" Duncan asked. DJ shrugged and looked closely at the gun's casing.

"Looks like morphine" DJ said.

"Yeah" Duncan slurred as he staggered, "it feelsh like im tooo...." Duncan passed out, knocking his chin against the floor.

"Oh, crap!" DJ exclaimed.

"Ready, Geoff?" Courtney asked. Geoff gave her a thumb up. She hopped on his back and he aimed at the floor under him. "Rocket jump!" Geoff was blasted up and Courtney along with him. She hopped off him and planted her feet on the roof of the base. "Thanks for the pick up!"

"Oh, no problem!" Geoff said as a crumpled heap on the floor that Bridgette began to heal.

"You gonna be okay up there, Courtney?" Bridgette shouted.

"No worries" Courtney answered. "They'll never suspect me to be up here, and when they come out, I'll snipe 'em all! HAHAHA!!!"

"""

"I think this game is getting to her" Bridgette said. "That wasn't like a 'I'm having fun' laugh, it was a 'kill everyone and skin their hides' laugh. I hope we win or she'll only get worse..."

"""

* * *

"_Ten seconds!"_ Chris announced.

"Okay guys, this is it!" Noah shouted.

"All or nothing!" Cody shouted likewise.

"No nothing!" Izzy growled. "There's plenty of time for all of you to do nothing when you're dead!"

"How nice, Izzy, thank you" Noah quickly said. The last seconds of the clock ticked down. Then, the zeros changed after two seconds into all nines. The teams were already running full speed out the doors. First, team A dropped down immediately and encountered their major obstacle: Katie and Sadie from the base tower and Eva from the hill. She started firing on them as soon as they hit the ground while Sadie launched rockets as fast as possible then ducked back to reload.

"Medic!" Eva grunted. "Now!" Katie switched her target and began slowly healing Eva. With the MVP Heavy versus the MVP Heavy's medic, the outcome would be obvious.

"You ready, big guy?" Gwen asked. Owen nodded shrewdly as they both went in ubercharge overdrive. Owen himself felt lighter from the pain having been lifted instantly and he started rushing up the hill at Eva. She was about to be overwhelmed when Owen's gun clicked on empty. Before Eva could get out a sigh of relief and victory, Owen spun around and hammer tossed the huge weapon directly at Eva. She took it to the face and fell back, disengaging her gun while Owen whipped out his trusty shotgun just as the charge wore off.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sadie shouted. She turned around, aimed, and almost fired. "Oopsie! Have to reload..." While she did, Gwen disengaged from Owen and ran towards the soldier, jumping into a flying kick at the last second and sending Sadie over the steep edge of the hillside. She landed on her gut below.

"Ohmygosh! Sadie!" Katie shrilled. Gwen nudged her over as well and she landed the same as her fallen comrade.

"Sorry guys" Gwen said from above "but you either win or lose here!"

"U, Gwen?" Owen asked shyly. "A little help?" Gwen turned, expecting to see Eva devouring Owen and breathing fire as a sign of trouble, but she saw that Eva had Owen held above her head and was ready to throw him.

"Woah!" Gwen shouted.

"Yeah, that was my first thought too..." Owen said. Eva growled and stomped around to face Gwen. They both knew what was coming. Gwen fell to her knees, trying in vain to pull herself away, while Eva took a mighty step forward and let the momentum carry Owen's weight through the air. Just as she was about to let go, she saw the other three rushing the opposite side of the area down the C corridor. Eva growled, but stumbled forward, having forgotten Owen's weight above her. Her arms snapped back and her back snapped forward, bringing her into a whole new world of pain as Owen landed on her with a disgusting crunch.

"_This is unbelievable!"_ Chris said, half laughing. _"Owen killed Eva by sitting on her! Ha! He couldn't even use his shotgun, she was too quick, and then he just broke her! That's probably never happened before...anywhere! Mhahahaha!"_

"Great job, Owen?" Gwen hesitantly said. Owen shrugged and gave a quick thumb up.

"""

"I wasn't upset" Owen admitted. "I was actually pretty glad. Finally, my jolly frame has helped us win this war!"

"""

"This isn't over!" Katie shouted from below.

"You won't win!" Sadie added. "Our defense is superior!"

"There's just three of you here!" Gwen shouted, as if they didn't know that before.

"Two, actually" Owen added, forcing Gwen to snicker.

"Yeah" Katie said, flustered to find an appropriate bluff, "but the one defending the hallway is super awesome! There's no way you team will get past here!"

"Right..." Gwen lowed. She used her amplified syringe gun to rain a rapid-fire hail of medicated doom upon the girls. Once one syringe hit them, the unique mixture of chemicals forced their skin and muscles to rapidly expand. A few seconds later, they exploded like bombs.

"Okay, fellow patriot!" Owen sounded, grabbing his gun and Eva's ammo. "Let's go!"

"Right behind you!" Gwen assured him, turning her heal gun back on. The defense at base A was defeated and the Blue team advanced to the secondary shield.

* * *

"Come on out!" Courtney shouted from the top of the barn. "You can't hide forever!"

"Yes we can!" Noah shouted back. His team had already lost Trent, so they decided to convene behind the rock wall and form a new strategy. "Okay Heather, go for it."

"If I die" she said "I am so haunting you!" She cloaked herself and left, flanking around to the back of the barn. She took the guise of someone random, which happened to be DJ, and entered quietly. Even if her disguise worked, she didn't want to be seen. Geoff spotted her immediately.

"'Sup dude?" Heather whispered in DJ's voice. Geoff opened fire and destroyed her.

"Good thing we know the plan" Geoff said to Bridgette behind him. She nodded. They both heard the sound of some kind of air-cannon wooshing out its ammo. Grenades started dropping down through the roof and exploding in the base soon after, injuring Bridgette and Geoff to about half their health.

"You alright?" Geoff asked.

"I'll be fine" Bridgette replied. "Let me heal you up..."

"Ha!" Courtney shouted down from the roof. "It'll take a lot more than that to get me off here, Leshawna!"

"She's startin' to irritate me" Leshawna said.

"You know" Izzy began, "Maybe your grenades aren't getting enough fire from the gun."

"What are you getting at?" Noah asked.

"Well" Izzy began, already seeming very fast, "what I would do is take you ammo, the splodey and sticky grenades, and put them in a gun with farther range. Then you could totally get Courtney from farther away and not have to worry about arcs or trajectory or anything like that."

"Justin" Noah ordered, wasting no time, "unload you bazooka!" Justin saluted, crouched and fired randomly at the roof he could see without getting sniped. The roof rattled, startling Courtney a bit, but other than that it was fine.

"Now Leshawna" Noah began, "take out the sticky grenades from you gun and put them into Justin's bazooka." Leshawna and Justin collaborated instantaneously, understanding the frantic worry that Noah had. Time was against them and too much had been wasted already. Once Justin's gun was full, he aimed and fired. The sticky grenades traveled farther and higher than when Leshawna fired them. They sailed up over and onto the roof until Courtney saw four explosives at her feet. One of them got on her.

"Oh boy" she quivered.

"Detonate!" Noah shouted. Leshawna blew a hole in the roof with the force that was created from eight grenades in such proximity.

"Oh yeah!" she shouted. "That's what I'm talking about! Nice work, man!" She and Justin high-fived, not noticing that Geoff and Bridgette had flanked them.

"Say good-bye, dude!" Geoff said. He fired once and hit Justin. Twice and hit Leshawna. The third time was a misfire because he got sniped in the face by Trent.

"Sorry, bro" Trent apologized, "but we've got places to be..." Trent sniped again, this time killing Geoff and leaving Bridgette defenseless. The team began to rise, starting with the frightening Izzy and her flamethrower.

"Oh crap!" Bridgette shouted. Izzy toasted her.

"Let's move it!" Noah shouted. He already had his toolbox out, ready to throw down an exit and follow it with a quick turret. Trent jumped down and joined the team.

"Okay! Good luck!" Izzy shouted. She split off and went through the tunnel to the left to base A. Noah took his exit builder and tossed it into the open. It slid across the ground and clamped the corner between the metal ramp and the open ground.

"Trent!" Noah shouted.

"Way ahead of you" Trent said, holding him a small ammo crate. Noah took it, absorbed the ammo, and quickly threw down a turret as he ascended the ramp.

"We could put that in a better place, dude" Justin pointed out.

"I know" Noah said, panting as he ran, "but that'll have to do for right now. That exit will make this game much easier."

"How do you think the others are doing?" Trent asked. As soon as they crossed the threshold of the conduit between the hill of base B and the walkway of base C, a shocking wave of destruction blew them all away.

"You guys should be more worried about yourselves" DJ sneered. He dropped Duncan's gun and ran over to his own corner. "Dude, that's a little harsh..." then he got up and paced back over to Duncan's sleeping, drugged-up body. "I don't care!" he gruffly said.

"""

"I wasn't crazy" DJ said. "I was guilty. Duncan deserves his air-time too, eve if he's...out."

"""

"Hey, Zeke!" DJ shouted. "How's Harold doing!?" Zeke, still picking at his nose, leaned over to the other side of the tower and glanced into the corridor that Harold was guarding. He looked alive, though very torn up, which meant that he was doing his job.

"He's alive, eh!" Ezekiel shouted back.

"Cool" DJ shouted. "Is he alright?"

"Uh...he seems okay, I guess" Zeke responded, unsure of his answer. Whatever the explanation, the result was the same. Except for Izzy, the Blue team's united offensive lost out to the wide-spread Red defense!

"_Attention, Red Team!"_ Courtney shouted over the intercom. _"Never mind how I'm doing this, just know that I'm doing this! It's time to move back! All teams retreat one step! Next time, we'll stop them cold!"_ The com crackled off as the last of the Blues began to respawn.

"Okay, that sucked" Noah said.

"I'm not sure how it happened" Owen said, "but Harold kicked our butts."

"Izzy'll handle him" Noah said. "We're doing this again. Team up and move out while they're still moving into position!"

"Yes sir!" his team shouted back. Teams A and B reunited and moved out. Nearly three minutes had passed during that struggle. Noah knew that was time he couldn't make up again. Already his genius mind was at work as he ran, anticipating what their next strategum would be and how it would effect the game. How would his team allude and break through the defense? Hundreds of 'what ifs' breezed through him as he planned.

"We can't survive another wipe out" Noah said suddenly as his team hopped onto the ground of base B. "My teleporter is still up, so use it if you can! We can't waste any time at all. Shoot to kill and don't die, even if you have to run away! Our only concern, even above following orders, is getting to C and capturing it before the time is called!" His team nodded. He saw Justin warp in across the field and immediately aim up the hill. The Reds were gathering their defense again. Even in base A, Eva came from the tunnel with her soldiers, facing down Owen in another 'MVP assist' title fight.

* * *

What will happen? Will another stalemate come from the Red's surprising defense? Has Harold uncovered some ultimate strategy of defense that allows him access to awesome, mad skills? Will Izzy be the angel that lifts her team to Heaven or the weight that lets them burn in Hell? Has everyone forgotten about the food prizes? Certainly not Owen, but maybe you did!? No? Oh well. Tune in next week for the conclusion of the match on _TDTF_!


	15. Gravel Pit 7

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Gin, buddy!" Chris said. He and Hatchet were taking it easy in the producer's lounge, playing cards with the game monitors off. "Heh. You're not having a good day, are ya?"

"It happens to people, man" Hatchet admitted.

"We should probably check in on the game" Chris said. "Blue team's only got about five minutes left to capture now." Chris clicked a button and turned the myriad of monitors back on. It was explosive, loud, awesome chaos. Chris picked up the mic and pressed on the PA system.

"_Five minutes left, dudes!"_ He announced. _"Get moving!"_ Down on the field, the Blues read the message loud and clear. The B team had just successfully plowed up to the hill and prepared to face down the back defense before the tower.

"You heard him" Noah said. "Onward!" His team rushed forward at command, exiting the base and meeting turret fire from above. They retreated just in time to avoid the rockets. "Okay, that was unespected."

"They've really covered their bases" Trent pointed out. "It's hard just to advance quick enough, but that turret's gonna chew us up."

"Leave that to me" Heather said.

"Wait" Noah ordered. "Don't let him see you up there. They must have everyone in close, small groups so they can weed out spies, i.e., you Heather. Stay completely out of sight from him, sap the turret and kill him before he can do anything about it."

"Roger" Heather responded. She cloaked and rushed to the tower.

"Trent" Noah began again. "Justin and I will make a distraction for the turret while you run up to the hill. If we get caught or the turret refocuses on you, you can hide behind those wooden posts and try to snipe it out."

"We can just blow it up from here" Leshawna pointed out. "No reason to complicate things."

"Leshawna, you go with Trent" Noah snapped. "No time to explain that part. Now, let's move it!" Noah and Justin rolled out and started firing at the turret while Trent and Leshawna hustled up the hill. The turret fired heavily upon them to the point where they had to retreat down to ground level.

"Now what?" Justin asked. They both heard a vicious roar from the Red's spawning point and saw, to their horror, Geoff and Bridgette rushing them.

"Run or die, dude" Noah said. They picked up their feet and sprinted away. Ducking inside the base of the tower where they were under lighter fire from the other side once again. Up on the hill, Trent and Leshawna blind-fired at the turret, surrounding it with mines while Trent's bullets had Zeke pinned down in the corner. Heather came up and peeked barely around the corner, ducking back quickly before the turret spotted her. She pulled out a sapping unit, activated it and tossed it around the wall, initially missing and forcing Zeke into caution. He pulled out his shotgun and started firing wildly. Heather reactivated her cloak, ducked under his aim and stood behind him. The bullets from Trent didn't hit her or their target, but they were a great distraction. The turret snapped around, pointed at Zeke who was lifted off the ground, and clicked off again.

"Hello?" Zeke frightfully said.

"Haloo" Heather responded. "Ready to die?" Zeke shook his head, glancing at the knife at his neck and feeling the hand gripping his spine. "Good! Now, turn off the machine." At her 'request', Zeke reached for his engineer console and turned off the turret, blowing it up in the process. "Good boy!" As thanks for helping her, she kneed him in the crotch and kicked him off the tower. Zeke was alive, but laid in a crumpled heap while Justin and Noah raced around the tower with the Soldier-Medic couple in hot pursuit.

"That sucked" Noah said. "But that means we must be capturing!" And it was true. Heather stood alone at the top of the spire while the capture mark started to fill up. Courtney respawned and came screaming out of the base, attempting to circle around the tower and get a bead on the capturer.

"NO WAY!" Courtney shouted, firing randomly at the tower side. Heather glanced over arrogantly, only for a second, and was instantly blown away with a roaring shotgun blast. Tyler ran to the rescue and decimated Heather. If she didn't die from the hit, the ground would definitely get her.

"Nice save, chicken-wing!" Duncan shouted. Tyler, proud and victorious, had not forgotten Trent. Now uninhibited by the turret, was crouched and aiming with the scope. Tyler anticipated his shot and, in an act of odd brilliance, raised his weighty little gun up and protected his face from the coming headshot. Success! Although, the shock of the bullet that hit the gun made it smash back and misfire, smashing him twice in the face and doing actual damage points. The force made him stumble and roll back wards, just barely teetering on the edge of the wooden walkway.

"Leshawna, come on!" Trent shouted. "He's still alive!"

"I'm trying!" Leshawna insisted, slamming on her gun. "This darn button's stuck!" Then, the button activated and all the mines blew up, forcing the building into a tremor that made Tyler fall over the edge. As he fell, his back hit the bridge and his body kept going down, just in time to fall on and intercept Noah and Justin.

"Ow?" Noah grunted. Geoff stomped into view, aiming straight at them both. "Oh...Ow." Geoff fired twice, ensuring they would stay gone. Then, tapping into his 'bro' mode, he helped Tyler up.

"Dude, way to go!" Geoff praised. "Nice teamwork!" Tyler, with his head bleeding intensely, gave a weary thumb up and limply bent at a horrible looking angle. "Uh, Bridge? You're the medic. Backs aren't supposed to bend like that, right?" Bridgette, instead of answering, just started healing him. The defense was successful against the B team, leaving Trent and Leshawna to wearily defend themselves against DJ, Duncan and, worst of all, Courtney.

"You can't run!" Duncan shouted, firing grenades at the retreating duo. The grenades bounced off the rock wall and the wooden borders, closing them in and separating the team.

"Oh, crap!" Trent exclaimed. He quickly turned around and aimed, getting only a temporary glance at Courtney before she fired and hit Leshawna, felling her. Trent fired likewise, killing her as she loaded, then got blown up by the grenade hail.

"Nice!" DJ cheered.

"That's how Red Team defends!" Duncan shouted. "How's Harold doing, you think?"

* * *

Harold just stood in the hallway and sniffled a little. After the initial conflict that he somehow, miraculously held off, he had plenty of down time between the attacks.

"""

"It was really boring, but it gave me time to think" Harold said. "I thought up some great poems for Leshawna, but mostly I was thinking about Izzy. Not in a good way, either. I think she's my main rival in this game right now..."

"""  
Harold endured the boredom even longer, keeping his arms crossed with dignity. He checked his revolver, played with his knife, looked through his disguises; it was a boring time to be guarding. Then, a spark of curiosity came to him. He felt oddly insecure, like someone was watching him from an unseen location. He thought of Heather first, because she had successfully sneaked up on him before, but that couldn't be the case. Tyler had gone to take care of her, and he did.

"Ow!" Harold grunted. An object had smacked on his head from above.

"Sorry!" Izzy said, crawling along the ceiling of the hall like a ninja. "Can you just toss that back up here?" Harold, initially just confused, nodded his head and tossed the ax upwards. His senses came back, and he shot his head up and stared at the crazy Izzy, holding her ax with her teeth. She let go of her holds in the ceiling and aimed down at Harold. When his head was almost inside the nozzle, Izzy fired the flamethrower, incinerating Harold where he stood and propelling her into a hover. Once the ashes were burnt away, Izzy cockily twirled the big gun with one finger, until it spun into her face and concussed her.

"""

"That wasn't the time for a concussion!" Izzy shouted. "I had to move!"

"""  
Izzy shook off the pain and head-blood and pressed on, running outside and taking extra caution to watch for the defenders. She only hoped that Owen and his team would be close enough behind her to support.

Back at Base A, Owen was held up in a battle of brute strength against Eva. The super-powered Eva versus the awesome-healing power of Gwen. Eva continued to open fire with Katie's average healing behind her and Sadie kept the attacking Blues at bay with steady rocket fire.

"Why isn't he dying!" Eva growled. "Even with Gwen backing him, I should be doing more damage! Sadie! More ammo!" Sadie, guarding the rear, was in charge of searching for the ammo packs and throwing them into Eva to make sure she didn't run out during the fight.

"Why hasn't he reloaded yet?" Katie asked. That's when Eva became aware of the fact that Owen _hadn't_ used up his entire clip yet. Somehow, he was shooting an infinite stream of bullets. The truth was that through ingenuity and rule-bending stunts, Cody was able to take the extra few seconds and affixed a Dispenser on Owen's back, keeping him healed and stocked with ammo. The dispenser in question also healed Gwen a minor amount, making them a truly invincible team.

"Cody's getting away!" Sadie warned.

"Kill him!" Eva growled. Pistol shots and rocket roars came from behind. Sadie was getting hit by Beth and Lindsay together and her health was whittling away quickly.

"Sadie!" Katie exclaimed.

"No way!" Eva growled. "You take your gun off me and I'll kill you myself!" Katie, for all the love she had for her friend, was far to fearful of Eva not to comply. So she let Sadie get killed only a few feet away from her.

"Sadie!" Eva ordered. "Just ignore them for now. Let Harold deal with them again. Concentrate fire on Owen and Gwen!"

Gwen gasped sarcastically, trying to throw a fake desperation over the Gatling fire around her. "Oh, no Owen! They're going to unite against us! However will we survive!"

"Oh, yes!" Owen said with equal mocking falseness. "We are certainly doomed!" Owen and Gwen even started laughing to farther add insult to continuous injury as the bullets continued to fly in vain.

"You ready?" Gwen asked. Owen nodded and she kicked on the ubercharge.

"KATIE!!!" Eva roared. Katie used hers as well and the guns slowly revved to a stop. The Heavies stood glaring at each other, Owen with a building smile as he saw his team mates charging into an empty corridor.

"That won't last as long as ours does" Gwen said.

"Yeah" Eva said, tossing her gun aside. "You're right." She pounded a fist into her palm and started running forward. Gwen cautiously retreated while Owen began revving his gun again. However, he was too late in acting, as Eva had gotten close enough to Gwen to swipe away her gun and grab her before the charge wore off. Owen stomped around, ready to use his shotgun, when Eva grabbed him as well.

"So that's how you did it!" Eva said, observing the dispenser. She took the advantage of position and slammed Gwen's face against the dispenser, hurting and healing her in the same move to keep up the punishment. Katie healed Sadie and Sadie picked up some ammo for herself to use on the Blues. Owen was blown up in three rockets, and Eva held Gwen up to give Sadie a good opportunity to fire on a static target. No matter how hard Gwen kicked at Eva, she didn't move or even flinch. She just let her nose fracture and took the brunt of the blows with an evil grin.

"""

"Okay" Katie began with Sadie in the stall with her, "that was sooo scary."

"Oh, I know" Sadie added. "I thought she was going to punch us and break our faces apart!"

"She needs to seriously chill a little" Katie said.

"""

Gwen and Owen, the ultimate team-up for the Blues had failed and the defense team that defeated them was on the move to silence the rest at the tower.

* * *

Pandemonium had broken out at the advent of Cody and his team. Noah was able to regain the lost ground and caught up as Courtney set up her defenses again, this time even farther back and more concentrated with Duncan and DJ. Izzy was running around, mostly unseen and unknown until she struck, spreading fear and chaos throughout the pit. Heather was back in the fray as well, dodging bullets and shooting her own with Noah behind a turret wall. The teams had sandwiched the tower, but the defenses around it were overwhelming them.

"This is really bad" Noah pointed out. "We only have about two more minutes."

"So let's rush the tower!" Heather said. A sniper shot rang out, blasting apart one of the Gatling guns on the mounted turret.

"Well, we could" Noah started, "but we'd die. As ironic as it sounds, we have to count on Izzy to do it, or to kill them off while we wait."

"That is ironic" Heather agreed. The firefight continued on the B side of the base, where on the A side Eva and her team was back in action and ready to mow down Cody and his flunkies. However, they never counted on the maneuverability of Leshawna, who had placed a myriad of sticky grenades on the roof of the sheltered exit that Eva and team now came through. With one trigger, the major threat from the Reds was gone...for now.

"Oh yeah!" Leshawna cheered. "You don't mess with us, ya hear!?"

"Focus Leshawna" Trent kindly suggested, hunched over a rock at the tower base aiming up.

"Sorry" she apologized. She switched to her normal grenade gun and fired up, scattering Duncan and DJ from Courtney at the top of the hill. Noah and Heather took the opportunity to open fire on her, and her openness prompted the soldiers to do the same.

"""

"Oh yeah. Real mature" Courtney complained. "Gang up on the leader. Jerks."

"""

Courtney was gone. Ezekiel still tried to keep up with his team with little avail, often missing and always placing turrets in strange and inopportune places. He stayed close to whoever he could but he always either got pushed away or killed by blind fire. It wasn't a happy battleground.

"Move up!" Cody ordered. Lindsay, Beth and he sprinted up the levels of the tower, avoiding whatever fire they could and returning it when possible. "We can't let this end so soon! We need to clear the way!"

"Roger that!" Beth saluted. With precise aim and timing, she blew Duncan and DJ far apart from each other. The others quickly picked Duncan off on the ground and leaving DJ defender-less. Cody and Lindsay were quick to make him suffer as well. The Blue team cheered collectively, only faced with a few now minor threats to deal with.

"Ah man, this sucks!" Geoff said with uncharacteristic anger. "We have to do something!"

"Agreed" Bridgette replied. "Let's start moving!"

"Nuh-uh!" Izzy lowed from behind. She appeared from the tangled wooden mesh that held up the tower with her flamethrower ready. "You two ain't goin' NOWHERE!!!" She cackled madly as she burned apart Bridgette and Geoff, unaware of the unlikely savior that crept up behind. Zeke, in a bit of quick thinking, bashed her in the head with his wrench. At first, Izzy stumbled and he thought he had won. Then she turned with glaring fangs and white eyes of rage. Zeke abandoned his heroic pursuit and ran away while Izzy shotgunned after him.

"_One minute left!"_ Chris again announced. _"Keep up the pressure! Oh, and to make things interesting, Instant Respawn!"_ The gates flew open and all the Reds charged upon all the Blues in the base.

"Oh crud" Noah said.

"""

"If it weren't for the rule bending" Noah complained, "we would have won already. But, I suppose giving the newbs a chance does even things out..."

"""

Conversely, Gwen and Owen had to track their way all the way to base C and catch up with the team. Cody ran to the top of the tower but was quickly picked off by the soldiers of the Red team. Courtney rushed to the B base and sniped at Gwen and Owen, stalling them form joining with the team.

The Red defense began to come together once more as Eva scaled the tower side with her bare hands and weapon strapped to her back. Once at the top, she was met with Lindsay who mercilessly scatter-gunned her down. Sadie from ground level blew Lindsay sky-high with her rocket, ensuring the landing would certainly kill her. Beth, Justin, Izzy and Noah all charged up on opposite sides, with one soldier per team.

"Plant those feet!" Noah commanded. The capture began four-fold and the sticky-bombs started coming up. Duncan and DJ, along with Geoff and Bridgette and Katie and Sadie, stood on the hill top firing in unison at the tower top. Noah quickly threw out his shotgun as a block and let the shrapnel scatter behind him. He quickly threw down a dispenser while his soldiers fired and Izzy kept hr eyes sharp on the incline ramps that led up. The Blue soldiers dropped fast, leaving Noah to rush himself and smash his dispenser as quick as possible.

"Oh, I can help!" Izzy said. She pulled out her own wrench, one stolen from Zeke when she chased him around, and rapidly beat on the metal box along with Noah. The dispenser was up in no time.

"This is it!" Noah said triumphantly. Then, the time stopped. The base ceased to capture. No one was there, but somehow the capture was being halted. Izzy started shooting chaotically, opening herself to rocket fire and quickly exploding, along with Noah's machine. Noah's observant, savant eye witnessed the pale of someone's finger that dangled from the very edge of the capture platform.

"Oh, come on!" Noah shouted. He took his wrench, slammed the finger and became filled with dread and disappointment as he heard the klaxon that ended the round. With a sigh from him, it was over...

"_That's the round!"_ Chris announced. _"The teams will now be given a ten minute relaxation and planning period before the match-proper starts. Blue team will be on defense and will be given the last thirty seconds to get outside the base and set up defenses. If neither team can pull of a victory, I'll not only loose a bet, but I'll have to judge you all as well. So...here's the Red team's leader with a word of confidence!"_

There was a brief shuffling, wherein the contestants could hear women and glasses clinking in the background.

"_Kids"_ Hatchet began, _"I know I've never said this to you before...but you make me proud. Proud that I'm up here that is! You're all sickening displays of warmongering soldiers! I'd spit on you all if I could from u here...but the spit might freeze from the altitude. Do NOT disappoint me, or there shall be no peace and no mercy!"_

"What about cupcakes?" Owen modestly asked into the speaker.

"_NO CUPCAKES!" _Hatchet shouted. _"EVEEEEER!!!"_

"""

"It was worth a shot to ask, you know?" Owen said.

"""

"Okay" Cody said humbly, "I know we may be in a it of a rut, but I believe in this team! Me and Noah will definitely pull through for the win!"

"""  
"They won't win" Courtney scowled. "You'll see. Even if I have to cheat, I won't let them win."

"""

"Even if we lose" Heather said confidently, "I'm still getting the MVP here. Trust me on that."

"""

* * *

Will the next match be the last? Will the Blues keep up the defense and force Chris to sit through a horrible, reality show judging? If so, who will be the third judge? Possibly Celine Dionne? Whatever may happen, you must tune in or we will send the CRMP after you and hunt you down! HUNT YOU ALL DOWN!...Sorry, Izzy took the keyboard from us. Anyway, tune in regardless and find out who will truly win the Gravel Pit on TDTF!!!


	16. Gravel Pit 8

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"What's the plan, President?" Eva said, still a little full of herself from the recent victory for the Red team.

"Well" Courtney said, "I think it's time to mix it up a little."

"Interesting" Duncan said.

"We'll go all out" Courtney said. "Screw complicated planning! We'll just batter them in one full force and they won't be able to hold us out!"

"Oh" Duncan said, disappointed. "I though we would do something actually different."

"It is different!" Courtney argued. "If we all move together, what are they gonna do?"

"They'll stick to their guns" Eva said. "Their strategy worked for them the first time, they'll just use it again."

"Yeah" Zeke said. "What do we do if that happens?"

"You're not allowed to talk" Courtney growled, pointing at the poor guy. "You let Heather use you as a meat shield and then nearly lost the game for us! If Tyler hadn't run up there and shot her down we would have lost!"

"I stopped Noah and Justin too!" Tyler said arrogantly.

"Yeah great" Courtney quickly praised. "Anyway, if they do that then we'll just adapt on foot."

"We won't have time" Eva said. "They almost got it in ten minutes with all the setbacks we gave them. If we waste even a second it'll be their second and they'll use it to beat us!" Courtney grinded her fingers with the skin between here eyes and sighed.

"Any suggestions then?" she asked to her competent fighting force.

"I have a plan" Harold said. Courtney groaned and smacked her forehead. "If they do the all-together defense that they did last time they can't stop us from splitting up, can they? So, like, why don't we sandwich them like they tried to do to us?" Courtney's eyes flew open.

"That's not a bad point!" she exclaimed. Harold was beaming.

"""

"Finally!" Harold proclaimed. "It's about time I was recognized for my planning genius. I have a badge in that, you know!...well, there is no badge for it, but I can make one."

"""

"So who goes where?" Duncan asked.

"I'll go through B" Courtney said. "That way I can have a good shot at taking the hill again and I'll have extra cover just in case."

"I'm going with you then" Duncan said. Their togetherness forced Bridgette to awe at them, which made Duncan shoot her a tough glare.

"I'm going through A" Eva said. "I'll be a little closer to the tower that way."

"Oh!" Katie started. "We'll go with you, Eva!"

"No way!" Eva declined harshly. "You two nearly killed me with your sisterly-lovey-dovey crap! DJ, you're my new medic." DJ nervously nodded and walked over to her. Katie and Sadie huffed and sat together on the floor.

"So" Courtney started, "Everyone just find a buddy and go where they go. It doesn't matter if our teams are unbalanced, we just need two of them. My team can act more as a distraction for Eva's foot soldiers to go up the tower with less concentrated fire on them."

"Great plan" Eva said, giving a thumb up from her crossed arm position. Of course, any plan that involved Courtney willingly being a target (or unwillingly) for Eva was a great plan to her.

"Indeed" Courtney said, taking her own ego up a bit. "As a distractive force, we'll need a soldier. Katie and Sadie, over here on the double." Katie and Sadie picked up and went over to their leader's side of the room.

"I guess we're with Eva" Geoff said to Bridgette. She shrugged and followed him anyway.

"""

"I still can't get over how crazy-mad Eva is" Bridgette confessed, "but I have to admit, she's really in her element here. I think I can trust her as long as she doesn't try to use _me_ as a weapon in the heat of combat. I'm a healer, not a fighter."

"""

"Where should I go?" Zeke asked.

"With Eva" Courtney said. Eva glared at her, trying to intimidate her, but Courtney just slyly nodded and smiled back. Eva understood her plan. Ezekiel was yet another asset that couldn't be ignored. As an engineer, he had superior defensive and replenishment skills to everyone else and in the event of an emergency he was just small enough to clog the barrels of Owen's gun. Ezekiel, ignoring the girls exchange of evil looks, smugly marched over to the offensive side.

"Tyler" Eva ordered, "go with Courtney and just shoot things." Tyler saluted and headed over, nearly tripping over himself but straightening up at the last moment. Then he tripped for real and slammed into Katie. She and Sadie fell over like dominoes and hit the floor with a thud.

"Darn it!" Tyler yelled. Courtney leaned in to help him up.

"Oh" Courtney whispered into his ear, "and I'll allow you to 'get together' with Lindsay if you can get her out of the battlefield first." Tyler put on a smug and cocky smile.

"Where should I go?" Harold asked.

"Actually" Courtney said, "you should just go wherever. As soon as you see a crack in their defenses, cloak and move in before they patch it up."

"What about..." Harold started fearfully, taking a pause to shiver and use his inhaler, "Izzy?"

"Don't be a chicken!" Eva shouted. "She's just a crazy, pyromaniac hose-beast! You can stand up to her anytime!" Although she was going for insulting, her words uplifted Harold's spirit. He stepped right into the middle of both teams and puffed out his tiny chest with pride.

Both teams now had their roles and dignified place, and their door slid open. Harold ran out behind Eva's team and prematurely adapted Heather's guise.

"Why Heather?" Sadie asked.

"Because" Harold started in her voice, "I can beat her easily in a knife fight or in a revolver duel. Izzy's my main threat since she sprays everyone and everything she sees. Hopefully as Heather she won't pay me quite as much mind because they'll send her out into the field behind us."

"Now that's using your head" Zeke said. "Wear a wolf-skin to infiltrate the den. Nice."

"Good analogy" Eva said, surprised that something so relevant came from the stringy boy's face when usually he only spat out random noise.

"Thanks" Zeke modestly responded. "Hey your plan was pretty good too, using Courtney as a shield, heh heh..." Of course, this kind of insult to his leader and the patronizing tone he sued was enough of a prompt for Eva to equip her fists and pummel Zeke as the camera panned off to the right.

"What's everyone gonna do?" Courtney asked.

"Diversion!" Katie and Sadie cheered. They looked around and was curious to see that no one else was cheering with them. "Sorry," Sadie apologized, "we thought we were rallying..."

"'Kay" Courtney said, raising her brow. "Duncan, what's your plan?"

"Sticky mines everywhere" he said with great grandeur. "I'll fire them up tot he top of the tower and make sure no one's up there defending. I'll save my normal grenades for closer fights. All the while, I'll stick with you."

"Great!" Courtney said excitedly. "Katie and Sadie?"

"We'll rush the tower" Sadie said.

"Oh my gosh" Katie exclaimed, "that was totally my plan too!"

"Really?" Sadie asked. "No way!" They joined arms and 'EEEEEEE'd very loudly. Eva on the other end winced from the shrillness of their happiness cry. Courtney decided to ignore them after a while and turned to Tyler. He just made finger-pistol motions and winked, so she knew what his plan would be.

"Okay" Courtney said with finality. "We can do this guys. No matter what, just keep plowing through and remember out team motto!"

"We have a motto?" Duncan asked. Courtney's face went from eager and ready to surprised and thoughtless.

"Uh...don't we?" Courtney asked. Her teammates just shrugged quizzically. "Well, it doesn't matter. We're winners and we'll live up to that name by winning!"

"""

"I mean it, too" Courtney growled into the camera. "We will win, no matter what!"

"""

* * *

"Okay people" Noah said. "We only have ten minutes to get a solid defense up, so let's get the ideas flowing!"

"We can do yoga!" Izzy suggested. Before Noah could shoot her suggestion down, she dropped to the floor and rearranged her bones to get her feet behind her head and her hands in front of her face. A few seconds passed. "Okay, I think something is somewhere it really shouldn't be...help?" Noah just threw a piece of wood and knocked her over onto her feet...which were behind her head...so it looked bad. However, that sudden moment of weirdness inspired Noah with a new idea. He looked up at the unmoving metal doors of the defense base and saw, above them, were windows.

"Got it!" Noah shouted. "We need to get all these boxes and crates and stack them up at the doors. Cody, lay down an entrance and give me your box."

"...why?" Cody asked.

"How is this a defense plan?" Gwen asked. "They can shoot through the boxes!"

"We're not using them for defense" Noah said. "At least, not like that. Owen, Trent, Justin, come on! Stack them up high in front of the doors!" His team moved quickly, and even Beth and Leshawna helped move the crates about.

"What's this all for, exactly?" Gwen asked, healing Izzy;s horridly broken hips and legs.

"A head start" Noah said. "If those doors won't open on their own, then who needs them?"

"I don't follow" Cody said.

"The rules have already been bent" Noah began "past the normal breaking point. If the other team can defy the logical paths of the game world, then so can we. How's that teleporter?"

"Up and waiting to run" Cody said. He handed off his box and console pad to Noah. Noah looked at the door and saw a nice incline of boxed that led straight up to the windows.

"Aha!" Izzy shouted. "It's a jailbreak!"

"In a sense" Noah said. "Owen, I need a ladder!"

"Coming up, boss" Owen said. He crouched down and let Noah step up onto his back. Then, Noah climbed the rest of the way up the tower of crates and wood to the windows above the metal and sat down.

"Here's the deal" Noah said. "We're not doing what they did. The only reason it really worked for them was because they had a stronger line than us. We're a defense team, and our best bet is one word: turtling!"

"I ate a turtle once" Izzy said as a total incidental that she, somehow, linked to the current conversation.

"""

"No, I swear I did!" Izzy defended. "It was soooooo yummy! It was like leathery, really old chicken...in soup!"

"""

"Here goes" Noah said. He used his wrench to smash open the windows and carefully started climbing out. He slipped and fell on his back. "...okay, ow." he noted. His health dropped a bit, but he was out before the planning stage was even remotely over. This gave him and his entire team the time to set up a super defense wherever they wanted while the other time took their sweet time to plan away. Noah used Cody's box and threw down an exit just in front of the door, but was soon accompanied by Izzy.

"Hiya!" Izzy greeted. "I think I know what's going on here, so I'm going to go to their base and kill them before they even get onto the field!"

"your hand's bleeding" Noah pointed out. Izzy blinked at him, then looked at her bloody, glassy hand. She had grabbed onto the shrapnel-covered edge as she made her way down and could see that even Noah got scratched a bit on his side.

"Oopsie" she cheerfully chirped. "Oh well. I'll get a move on. Good luck here!"

"Just do a repeat of last game, Izzy" Noah shouted as she ran towards the A base. "Think random thought and go with them!" Izzy shot up a flare in response from her gun.

"""

"Like it or not" Noah admitted, "she's a huge asset. None of us and none of the can predict her. I wish I could have made her a spy instead, actually, but a random fire-spitter is just as good."

"""

"Okay" Noah shouted through the window. "No one come through that way unless you can make it and not complain...or if you can fit. Everyone else line up at the teleporter. Cody first, we need the engineers out in front." At his command, the instant the teleporter whirred on, Cody went through it and retrieved his toolbox.

"Where to, boss?" Cody asked. Noah chuckled at the nickname 'boss' and equipped his box.

"B" Noah said. Cody ran off ahead of him. "Set up a perimeter!" Noah ordered once more. The next one over the edge was slender Lindsay who, after tucking her slightly lifted skirt, was off and running to base A with her pistol equipped.

"I'll take the top of the tower" Trent said inside the base. "Gwen, you and Owen should take the middle."

"Right-o" Owen said.

"Count on me, cowboy" Gwen saluted.

"Beth" Trent continued, "you and Justin guard opposite sides. Leshawna, plant a trap at the hill in case they come through there and be ready to blow them up."

"Can do" Leshawna sounded off. Beth and Justin saluted as well.

"Heather" Trent started, "I'll leave what you do up to you."

"Fine with me" Heather said. She started for the box mountain, climbed up Owen, and jumped to the top in one bound. She selected a proper disguise, namely Courtney, and slipped out of the window unscathed as she transformed on the way down. She reappeared and took a wild guess as to where Courtney would be likely to come from.

"Hmm..." Heather hummed in her guise's voice. "Probably...A so she could take the hill quicker." So Heather sped off while the rest of them spawned one by one, with the more slender members taking the risk of getting out themselves. Meanwhile at base B, Noah and Cody continued to bend the system.

"Crap" Noah said. "we should've brought someone with us."

"You can let me on your shoulders" Cody figured, "and I can pull you up."

"Maybe" Noah replied neutrally. Their plan was to climb up the concrete slab and build their fortifications to stop whoever was foolish enough to take the B route. Their problem was that Cody wasn't strong enough to support his weight and pull himself up and Noah knew it was pointless for him to try. "Well, let's try it" Noah said. He knelt down and let Cody step up onto his shoulders. It took more force than he thought it would to lift himself up the whole way, but Cody was up.

"Okay" Cody said, reaching down, "now grab on!" Noah grabbed his wrists and tried his best to help the weak Cody help him up. He tried running up the wall with his frantic kicks, but it didn't help.

"Never mind this for now" Noah said, letting go and hitting the ground. "I'll build a dispenser and climb it instead. That'll be easier."

"Alright" Cody said. "You want me to get started up here?"

"Please do" Noah commanded. With the full metal count he got before warping outside, Cody first built his dispenser while Noah also built his below. As soon as he had the metal, he got to work on relaying it between him and his turret.

"Good placement" Noah said, finally climbing up. He destroyed his dispenser and chilled beside Cody's for a second to regather his metal. "We make a great team" Noah said.

"We make an excellent team!" Cody affirmed.

"I'm feeling kinda iffy about this match" Noah admitted. "We seem to have superior planning, but in my experience, plans often fall apart really fast in this game, especially in the face of strength."

"Well, our enemies have strength" Cody said.

"I know" Noah said. "we just have to hope we can last out. If anything, we've played more elegantly than they have."

"And we have Eva to thank for that" Cody said. He and Noah laughed at that remark and bumped fists. On the other side of the entrance, Izzy used her ax as a pick and scaled the concrete in one step by lodging her melee implement into the edge and pulling herself up. She used the blood from her hands to make gruesome, skeletal markings on her face. She then waited in the blind corner for the first sheep to run through and get caught in her trap. The tension and anxiety escalated epicly as the preparation clock ticked slowly down to zero, and the match began!

* * *

Who will triumph at last? Will the Skilled Blues hold out with superior planning and rule bending or will the forceful Reds prove that strength is all that matters in war? Find out next week, in the most dramatic conclusion to the game yet here on _Total  
Drama  
Team Fortress!_


	17. Gravel Pit 9 final

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The teams charged out and got immediately drawn into heavy fire. Courtney's B team was first exposed to the double turrets when Tyler, in his blind dash, got blown to pieces as soon as he stepped out of the door.

"What the heck!?" Courtney shouted. She peeked around the edge and saw Noah and Cody lounging against their dispenser and waving at them. "No way! That has to be cheating!"

"No one said they couldn't do that" Duncan pointed out. "We'll just go the other way."

"AHHHH!!!" Harold screamed. Izzy flamed him first and he ran back into the base in a panic, crackling with fire. He ran back into the base and healed himself while Izzy continued to manically shoot flames at the team. Eva was in front, and taking on the full brunt of her attack, not letting it daunt her or hurt her other team mates.

"Ha!" Eva laughed. "You think I didn't anticipate this!?" Eva dropped her scalding hot gun and retrieved her shotgun. She shot Izzy with the full barrel until the flames stopped and Izzy was dead. Eva's increased health and her medic's constant healing allowed her to live through it all and take no lasting damage.

"Stay on guard, dudes!" Geoff shouted. "They could be using our strategy this time."

"They aren't" Eva said. She peeked out the corner and only saw Lindsay, hiding pathetically across the stage. As soon as Lindsay saw Eva, she started sprinting back to base. All the work that could be done was done elegantly. Spare wood from inside the base and all the boxes was stacked up to border the left exit into the grounds, leaving only one hole for the enemies to funnel through. The hill was stealthily covered in sticky mines that would destroy anyone who got caught in them.

"Hey!" Lindsay shouted to the team. "Eva's coming from base A! They got Izzy!"

"Shoot" Owen exclaimed.

"Don't worry" Gwen said, still healing him from behind. "Death won't stop her for very long.

Still back at base B, Duncan was doing all he could to get the turrets decommissioned by using blind fire and counting on the grenades to bounce where they were supposed to. Any damage he was doing was countered by Noah and Cody faster than he could keep up with. Sadie tried to blind fire as well, but she never got close to her mark.

"Darn it!" Sadie growled. "They have to be breaking the rules."

"You two" Courtney said, "as soon as you get invincibility, rush out and take them down!" Katie and Sadie saluted. "I'm circling around. I can't wait here forever."

"You'll be alright on your own?" Duncan asked.

"Don't worry dude" Tyler said, now alive, "I'll make sure she gets there." Courtney rolled her eyes and sped off with Tyler following after her with his gun drawn. At base A, Eva and her team marched up the hill with all weapons at the ready. Eva kept her gun revved, slowing her and her team, but she wouldn't take the risks.

"""

"There's no room for error" Eva said. "If I'm off by a second, that second could kill me."

"""

"Stay alert" Eva shouted over her gun.

"I'm breaking off now" Harold said.

"You got a plan?" Zeke asked.

"Trust me" Harold said. "I always have a plan!" He puffed out his chest, disguised himself as Leshawna, and cloaked away.

"""

"I have no idea what I'm doing!" Harold shouted into the camera. "I'm just hoping I don't run into Izzy, that's it!"

"""

Eva's team continued onward with Courtney waving from the bottom of the hill as she left for the B base tunnel. Noah and Cody's defense still held up the three more bull-headed members of of the Red team, but Courtney and Tyler had given them the slip.

"Okay" Courtney said softly. "Should I snipe those two off and give them a chance, or just keep running and let them handle it?"

"You should just go" Tyler said from behind her, determined to stick with her as a favor to Duncan. "You could hurt their pride if you save them. Besides, they can't really run out of ammo in their base and if they give up they'll just circle around like us."

"Good plan" Courtney said. "Still, that leaves me with another query: How much of their defense is at the tower if both engineers are back there at our base?" Courtney reached the metal ramp and ascended it with Tyler. They both stopped inside the terminal that exited into the open ground of the tower and saw their new defensive rule-bending play. The left exit was blocked up with wood and all the windows were broken. If she went out the the right everyone on the tower would have a shot at her, and that was the only way to go right now.

"Didn't see that coming, didja?" Tyler said, trying to keep the jovial mood. Courtney just glared at the wall and made her way forward with her machete drawn. She walked over to the wall, ignored the fact that a sniper could pick her off, and angrily started chopping at the wood.

"Well!?" she demanded to Tyler, "Help me!" Tyler raised his hand to say something, but he decided against it for the sake of his health and came up next to her with his bat. Trent watched them the whole time through his scope but didn't fire immediately out of humor.

"Looks like Courtney's starting to break" Trent called down.

"Watch it!" Owen shouted upstairs. "Here comes Eva!" The menacing girl peeked around the corner with her revved gun, ready for a constant fight.

* * *

"Okay" Noah started, "let's move back."

"Right" Cody replied. "Why?"

"It'll take them a while to give up" Noah pointed out, "and we can rebuild anytime we feel like it. For now we need to get on the move back to base and help defend it."

"Should we detonate anything here first?" Cody asked.

"No" Noah said. "Then they'll know somethings up. Come on!" Noah ran with his shotgun drawn and Cody ran after him. The turrets continued to hold off Duncan, Katie and Sadie and test their collective patience.

"Let's go!" Katie shouted. She activated her ubercharge and Sadie rushed out ready to fire. The boys were gone, however. She took care of the turrets and dispensers then ran out to the edge as her charge wore off to see them slipping into the bunker at the top of the hill.

"Darn it!" Sadie shouted, stomping her foot. "They got away!"

"No worries" Duncan said calmly. "Courtney and Tyler can take care of themselves. Let's get moving and distract the defense while we can." Sadie and Katie followed him as he hopped down and ran off to the hill.

Meanwhile, Eva and her team were pressing onward toward the tower. Ezekiel had built a dispenser behind Eva to replenish her ammo and help heal her while DJ periodically broke off and healed Geoff. Beth and Justin concentrated fire at and around Eva, hoping to destroy the dispenser behind her with the splash damage. Owen Fired in conservative bursts until he could get more ammo when he needed it. Unknown to either force, Heather was cloaked atop the hill as Courtney and watched the battle eagerly. She could see that she had a clean break at Eva's back, but the risk of dying after that was too high for her.

"""

"I'm no sheep" Heather said. "I'm not going to martyr myself just to kill off one of them. I'd rather wait for more of them to turn their backs than take one out a critical point and die immediately afterwards."

"""

Courtney, meanwhile, continued to chop away angrily at the barrier, but made no progress.

"Ugh!" she grunted in anger. "This isn't working! Why can't this stupid sword chop faster!?"

"Why can't we just go around?" Tyler asked.

"Trent's watching us" Courtney said. "I haven't heard him shoot once yet, so he must be waiting for us to expose ourselves. We can't give them the advantage."

"Too late, cupcake!" Noah shouted. He and Cody charged forward with guns blazing at Courtney. She flinched and heard the shots impact, but she herself was unharmed as Tyler had leaped ahead and absorbed the distant shotgun blows with his own body. He was determined to make sure his leader stayed alive. Tyler pulled out his scattergun and started ripping off rounds at the engineers who dove for cover.

"You know what works good for chopping wood?" a crazed girl's voice said from Courtney's blind side. She turned and watched time slow down as Izzy flew through the air with her melee weapon brandished and aimed at her face. "An AX!" Izzy's strong chop was enough to fell Courtney, and she didn't stop there. She drew it up behind her and prepared to chuck it at Tyler as well.

"Get some!" Duncan roared. He shot out a volley of grenades at Izzy, forcing her to retreat and perking Noah and Cody to attention. The two engineers finished outgunning Tyler in time for the soldier-medic combo to round the corner and blow them both up. Their struggles weren't in vain, as the sniper and scout were now dead.

"Courtney's dead" Sadie reported.

"Doesn't matter" Duncan said, "now let's keep moving!" Katie and Sadie shared a gasp.

"Doesn't matter!?" Sadie repeated.

"She's your girlfriend!" Katie pointed out. "How can you just shrug her off like that, you jerk!?"

"This is war!" Duncan replied angrily. "I can't concern myself with every body I come across, okay? We don't have the luxury of time! Now let's pick up the pace and climb that tower!"

"Yes, sir!" the duo shouted, running after him. He made a break for the base of the tower and got grazed by Trent's bullet from high above. As Duncan entered the tower, he neglected to remember the unpredictable Izzy hiding behind a wall with her gun out and he got barbecued.

"Hot damn!" Izzy shouted. "I'm on a roll! Now, where's the twins?" Izzy peeked out and got grazed by a few high-power rounds from Eva's gun, but she couldn't see Katie and Sadie in that short time. The two had rocket jumped together, with Katie riding on her friend's back, up to the mid level where Owen and Gwen defended from.

Down in the open, Heather kept Courtney's guise from observing the conflict and made the long round trip through A base to confront the rear of Eva's team.

"Time for a new look" she said, switching to Harold as she ran. As she neared the tunnel that Eva pressed forward from, she saw herself sprinting out and skidded to a stop. Heather also stopped and looked at the fake Harold. The situation was obvious, but both spies stopped out of confusion and eyes each other down.

"My hips aren't that big!" Heather shouted in Harold's body.

"I didn't know I was that skinny" Harold pointed out in Heather's body. Heather made the first move and drew out her blade, attacking herself and forcing the disguises off. Harold drew out his knife as well and matched her blow. Flashes of his earlier fight with Izzy came back to him and he realized just how easy it would be for him to win.

"""

"Heather isn't my rival" Harold said, "Izzy is. But if I can't beat Heather in close combat, how can I ever beat Izzy, who's much stronger and much more evil? Simple: I need to find my opponent's ground and fight on it!"

"""

Harold kept Heather's blade locked in the air and kicked her in the gut. Then, taking a step back, he let her stumble forward and shot her with his revolver. It wasn't a fatal shot, but it did floor her and expose her back where he proceeded to plant his knife with great flair.

"Yes!" Harold cheered, pumping his fist in the air. He broke out in dance for a few seconds, but then the ticking clock came back to his senses and he remembered to act. "Now's not the time to dance!" he told himself and left. He ran up behind Eva's team, gave a thumb up, and cloaked past them.

* * *

"Oh boy!" Owen shouted. "I'm almost out!"

"Crap" Gwen responded. "Trent, can you get Eva yet? She's out pretty far!"

"One sec!" Trent responded. He got as far over in his prone cover as possible and aimed. Eva's Neanderthal brown was barely visible, so he took that shot. He indeed hit her but the shot wasn't spot on enough to actually kill her. Eva did step back and let up her assault for a second to recover.

"You two!" she shouted at Geoff and Bridgette, "get up there!" They nodded.

"Climb up, babe" Geoff offered. Bridgette climbed on his back, like Sadie and Katie informed them to do, and kept healing Geoff while he ran out with his gun pointed down. However, because the onslaught from Eva had let up, Izzy came sprinting out with her gun ready to roast the soldier-medic combo.

"Go, Geoff!" Bridgette commanded.

"Not yet" Geoff said. Izzy came closer and closer, and now within death range, she fired. Geoff fired as well, barely escaping with only a spark to catch him on fire. He landed on the ramp with Gwen and Owen ready to fight them as well. With his gatling gun nearly out of ammo, Owen settled on his shotgun and Gwen with her syringe gun. Just when things looked bad for Geoff and Bridgette, Gwen went white-eyed and fell. Harold came from the shadows and got her right in the back like the expert he had become. Before Owen could fire a shot himself, Harold got him as well.

"Right on, dude!" Geoff praised. Harold nodded, sheathed his knife and backed up, tripping on Gwen's body and hitting the floor.

"Darn it!" he shouted. His glamorous exit ruined, he picked back up and ran up the tower. Izzy returned to he post and proceeded up the tower herself.

"_Red Team is capturing the objective!"_ Hatchet announced. Noah and Cody came back to life running from the base with boxes under arm. Noah went to the left and ran to the tower, ignoring and dodging the bullets Eva fired with lack of regard for his own health. He tossed down the box and allowed the turret he prepared to set itself up at the entrance to the tower. He equipped his shotgun and sped up on the opposite ramps where Eva shot at so he wouldn't get hit and arrived just in time. Lindsay was up there as well, having hid on top of the tower long before.

"Hi, Nathan!" she greeted in her cover.

"Yeah" Noah shouted. He crouched just in view of the offending captors who had easily taken care of Trent. Katie, Sadie, Geoff, Bridgette and Harold. Noah put his finger into the capture point and stopped the capture, allowing him and Lindsay more time to finish them all off while they were confused. Izzy came up from the opposite side and flamed everyone herself. Geoff and Bridgette went invincible, but Izzy didn't let it stop her. Taking the full force of Geoff's shotgun to her stomach, with only an increment of health left, she made a flying leap and kicked Bridgette off the tower. Her ubercharge kept her from getting hurt from the fall, but Geoff was gunned down quickly by all three defenders. The capture was stopped!

"Awesome!" Izzy cheered. A sniper shot rang out and her head got a new hope right between the eyes. Courtney was back, sniping on the hill.

"Lame" Noah said. Lindsay retreated upwards and fired at Courtney with her pistol. Noah did the same. However, their efforts would not waver the determined girl who just kept assaulting them with sniper bullets. Noah stayed totally focused on shooting down the sniper that he neglected his rear guard, and an injured Tyler came up from behind to blast him away. Tyler jumped up and rolled defensively into position and began capturing again. Lindsay responded and set foot down in the point again, gasping at the sight of Tyler pointing a gun at her.

"Lindsay!" he said with surprise, lowering his gun. He started over with his arms extended and Lindsay, accepting his feelings, slapped him.

"You jerk!" she growled. "I was super embarrassed because of you! Everyone saw my...chest!"

"Really?" Tyler said, fantasizing over how it must have been for the guys. He got slapped again, this time with the but of Lindsay's gun. Courtney kept Lindsay in her scope but didn't fire. Keeping her up there to keep the point under contest would give the defenders false hopes that they could get the point back. All the previous defenders, except Izzy, came running back from the spawn room as three minutes remained on the clock.

Tyler and Lindsay continued to argue and the path to the tower continued unwalked because of Cody's strategic turret stopping Eva and her team from advancing anymore. Owen and Gwen started towards Eva' and her team with the intention to blow them away and keep them gone with only a few minutes left for them to come back. Duncan came back from up on the hill and readied himself to get back into the fray.

"It's about time, you two" Leshawna said from the base across the grounds. She had been hiding in wait for Courtney and one other of her team to get up to the hill before using her mines, and now was the perfect time. The mines activated from under the fine dust she buried them in and blew Courtney and Duncan sky high.

* * *

"Crunch time!" Owen shouted. He and Eva were locked in a draw. The previous recorded capture was almost down, as Lindsay and Tyler continued to hold the stalemate atop the tower by arguing. Harold returned invisible and ascended the tower as quick as he could, reaching the top and saw the couple arguing.

"You're my boyfriend" Lindsay said. "You should be more open with me. More willing to talk about stuff."

"I am, babe" Tyler said. "I swear I am."

"But all was do is make out!" Lindsay said. Harold ducked down and stepped up into the capture point without either of them seeing him. He had a plan at last, and he waited to enact it.

"That's not all we do!" Tyler said. "I just can't think of anything else we do...is all..."

"Maybe we should...stop being together?" Lindsay said. Tyler gasped in horror. "I mean, maybe we should just try other people out for a while? You know, just a break?"

"But, you're my girl!" Tyler said, desperate to hold her attention. "I can't let any other guy take you!"

"Oh..." Lindsay cooed. Tyler's blind, zealous jealousy was a flattering thing for her to see. She leaned in ti kiss him, and he leaned into her. As they kissed, Lindsay's lips became limp and suddenly clod.

"Babe?" Tyler asked.

"_Red team is Capturing again!"_ Hatchet announced. Harold twirled his knife out of Lindsay back and snorted up a wad of snot. The two of them continued to capture the point unstopped.

"Oh no..." Cody said. He had just realized that the closest person to stopping the capture was Trent, who raced up with his sub machine gun, and he was only half-way up. The capture was only a few seconds away. Not only that, but Ezekiel had slipped out mid-conflict and raced up the opposite side of the tower as well!

"Stay frosty" Harold warned. Shots started splintering the wood n the last seconds. Trent came up and met Tyler's bat head-first, sending him down the ramp again and off the tower. Zeke arrived with his wrench and stepped in to increase the speed in the lase seconds as well.

"""

"Definately didn't see that coming" Courtney admitted. "I'm giving him a medal when the match is over."

"""

"To my surprise" Noah admitted, "I wasn't too mad. It'll be interesting to see how intuitive these guys can get on the next four maps. Bravo."

"""

"_Match over!"_ Chris announced. All the guns deactivated at the same time at the sound of his voice. _"Red Team wins the Map!"_ There was a chorus of cheers, and a hush of disappointed sighs from the winners and losers. Eva roared happily, Owen sobbed melodramatically, Heather scowled venomously and Noah, surprisingly, nodded from afar with a smirk.

* * *

WOAH! Didn't see that coming, eh? Well, that's how reality shows work. Now that Lindsay and Tyler's relationship has played such a vastly important role in the Red's victory, how will the leaders continue to exploit this union in the matched to come? Who will manage to get the MVP vote this time, and what bonuses will come from it? Finally, will the Blues starve!? Find out next week on everyone's favorite, self-writing parody:

_**TOTAL DRAMA TEAM FORTRESS!!!**_

...also, forgive the stupid ending to the match. I had no ideas...


	18. Lobby 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The current score: Red team 1 win, Blue team 1 win. It's a dreaded stalemate in the first day of games, and now both teams retire to their bases. For winning the first map, Granary, Blue team's base got a revamping. Their new permanent headquarters featured separate rooms for each member with a fully furnished room and all the modern accommodations of home. The Red team's reward was a wonderful, five-course and five-star gourmet meal (not cooked by Chef Hatchet).

"Okay!" Chris announced to his team in their new luxury room, "I know you guys are a little bummed about losing the food, but you still got a fridge."

"Not anymore" Gwen said, pointing to the mentioned fridge in the kitchen nook. Owen was next to it, covered in the remains of his eaten food, and the fridge was empty.

"...he heh" Owen chuckled shyly. "Sorry, guys..."

"No worries" Chris said. "We'll get that restocked for you soon. In the meantime, you guys should talk about who should get the MVP for the match. As an extra bonus, both teams are getting two-way headsets for quick communication on the field. You can swap between who to talk to with your main weapon's digital screen."

"Coolio!" Izzy said, looking at her gun's shiny new ammo readout.

"Finally!" Noah sighed.

"I guess that's it" Chris said. "Keep on fighting, dudes. I'm rooting for ya!"

"How much money you got on us, anyway?" Gwen asked.

"Tut-tut!" Chris chided. "How shameful. I wouldn't bet on you guys just for fun. You're my team, I just believe in you, is all!"

"So, about a thousand?" Noah asked.

"More like five" Chris said, "so keep on winning! See ya!" And with those formalities out of the way, he left through the wide, double doors.

"How encouraging" Noah said. "Well, I won't try and bribe or persuade any of you on who to vote for. Just go with your own opinion. Oh, and from the rules I read, Gwen's not allowed to vote or get voted for again."

"Really?" Trent said. "Why's that?"

"Not sure" Noah said. "I'll be in my room. I need to fine tune my plans for the rest of the maps."

"""

"I'd abstain from voting" Noah admitted in the shiny, clean new confessional, "but that's against the rules. I guess Owen would be the best bet. We need an anti-Eva right now."

"""

"Okay" Trent said, standing up in the lounge-style living area, "I guess we should all talk about this again."

"No way" Heather said. "You heard Noah. We've all got to go with our gut. He's our leader, you know?" Heather's team spirit came across as disturbing and out of place to her team mates, and they all decided to leave and vote in their own rooms.

"""

"I meant" Heather started, "that he's the leader for now. Once I get MVP, I can easily throw a little coup and usurp him. After all, I'm the most memorable leader on this show. All my plans succeed, and only by uniting everyone under me will we continue to win."

"""

"Okay" Izzy said, "So who's voting for who?" She, Lindsay, Beth and Owen all conferred together in the kitchen.

"I think we should let Noah win" Beth said. "He leaded us to our first win and nearly won this second map too."

"He is a smart dude" Owen admitted. "I wanna see what kind of enhancements he gets from getting MVP. I bet it's like a super powerful turret. Or a robot! That'd be sweet!"

"Well, what about you?" Lindsay asked to Owen. "Why don't you want to win?"

"I can get it some other time" Owen said, waving the matter off. "Noah should win."

"Second!" Izzy shouted.

"Third" Beth said.

"Second" Lindsay said. "Uh, I mean, Fourth!" she corrected.

"Hey guys!" Heather happily said, sneaking into the group.

"Heather!" Izzy cheered. "You're voting for Noah, right?"

"Uh, no?" Heather huffed. "We lost because he didn't bother to plan ahead in the last match, remember?"

"No" Lindsay started, "we lost because of me...um...oh..." She lowered her head and started walking away. Remembering that she was the reason for their loss gave her a deep sense of regret, and she sulked away into the corner to let the sadness drain out of her.

"Think about it" Heather started. "I know how to work each and every person in this competition, including the other team. I can use my stealth and cunning to win all of our matches, and Noah's plans always fall apart anyway. You guys should give me the MVP so I can be the leader."

"If you can be the leader from getting MVP" Izzy explained, "then shouldn't Gwen be our leader?"

"She's a pretty good healer" Owen pointed out. "I think I lead her around more, though."

"Well, I'll let you think about it" Heather said. "Ta!"

"""

"Forget her!" Izzy shouted. "I think I'd make a great leader. We'd all dress up in camo and sneak around. Commander Escope for the win! HA!...or maybe Noah'll do better. Yeah, heh. I'm voting Noah first!"

"""

"So now what?" Gwen asked. She shared Trent's room with Leshawna and Cody for their vote and their confidence.

"Well, if you could vote" Trent began, "who would it be for?"

"Probably Noah" Gwen said. "He already knows how to play this game, so we just have to trust his plans like we've been doing."

"Yeah" Cody added. "If he doesn't have a lot to worry about on the field, he'll be able to focus more on the strategies."

"He's still too uppity" Leshawna pointed out. "His attitude shows in bad places sometimes. I'm not saying hes' a bad leader, but a power trip could bring out the worst in him..."

"Yeah" Trent neutrally added. "Of course, no one's more uppity than Heather."

"Mm-hmm" Leshawna agreed. "I bet she's trying to get the vote herself."

"And then there's Justin" Cody said.

"..." Trent just scowled a little.

"He's the one we _really_ need to worry about with a power trip" Gwen stated.

"His MVP enhancement will probably be silicone lips, ors something" Cody joked. Leshawna and Gwen sighed over that though, much to Trent's anger.

"So, no Justin" Trent said.

"Agreed" Gwen and Leshawna said.

"So...Noah?" Cody egged on. The four looked at each other, trying to silently decide.

"""

"I hope Noah's the right choice" Leshawna said. "If his attitude gets any worse, I'mma have to hurt him...just a little."

"""

* * *

"Okay guys" Courtney announced to her team, "let's decide on who gets the MVP right now."

"I say Tyler" Zeke said outright. "He's mostly why we won this game, eh?" Tyler was poking lethargically at his food, remembering how upset Lindsay was at him and thinking nonstop how he could make it up to her.

"Let's try again, shall we?" Eva said.

"What about you?" Duncan said, pointing to Courtney. "Your plan actually worked when we defended and we won because of it."

"Aw, thanks honey" Courtney shyly said. "Who votes for me!?" No one was paying particular attention to her. Geoff and Bridgette were making out, Katie and Sadie were blathering at light speed and everyone else was too busy eating to listen to that end of the table. Granted, their space didn't add much to their listening capabilities. Because the new headquarters was a surprise perk from the first match, the Red team didn't know that their dingy locker room with the combo shower/bunk rooms was now a downgrade.

"I guess no one" Eva pointed out. Courtney smacked her head in anger. "I can't vote again, can I?"

"I don't think so" Courtney said. "The rules were a bit fuzzy, but MVPs are excluded from the voting process so the system doesn't get complicated...or something."

"That's bull" Duncan said. "With my extortion skills and Eva's muscles we could get you unanimously elected."

"I think she should win anyway" Zeke said.

"What about me?" Harold said. They all seemed to be ignoring him out of habit, but he sat right next to Eva near the end of the table. "I saved the day!"

"Hmm?" Courtney grunted apathetically. "Oh, huh, Harold? What's going on?"

"Never mind..." Harold said dejectedly.

"""

"GOSH!" Harold shouted. "Everyone's just ignoring the heck outta me! It's getting on my nerves...ah, who cares. I'll just cheat and steal the vote again if I need to."

"""

"Well I'm a heck of a campaigner" Courtney proudly said. "Once we're done eating, I'll start giving a speech, and no one will be able to deny me."

"And if they do..." Eva growled, finishing her statement with a firm punch to her palm.

"Maybe" Courtney delegated. "We don't want to alienate everyone's vote so fast."

"...I don't get it" Eva admitted. "Why don't we want that?"

"The most important principal of leadership is trust" Courtney explained. "If no one trusts me, I can't lead them."

"That's using your head" Zeke said. Once the meal was over, Courtney prepared her long-winded, hour or two long speech to her team mates. Most of them wound up asleep, except Geoff and Bridgette who had to wrap their jaws due to extreme cramping and Katie and Sadie who had taken a long walk around the abused battleground they just finished with.

"""

"Courtney's got my vote" Geoff said. "She got us this far, and landed us this awesome feast! Bonus!"

"""

Tyler sighed inside the confessional. "Courtney...I guess. It doesn't really matter, though. Lindsay still hates me."

"""

"I'm voting for Courtney, eh?" Ezekiel said. "I mean, she's a real good leader, almost like a guy, eh."

"""

"I'm pulverizing anyone who doesn't vote for Courtney" Duncan said. "She got ruled out the first time cause we didn't understand the rules, but not this time!"

"""

So, after the adjourning of both teams, the ballots were eventually cast and the winners were relayed to the announcers of each team. Promptly at the fall of night, Chris and Hatchet arrived to their respective team's HQ to deliver the results.

* * *

"And so" Chris began, "the votes have been tallied. The dye is cast. The beaver has built its dam."

"Hurry up, Hamlet" Noah smugly said.

"Touchy, eh?" Chris retorted with a smirk. "Well, with a margin of 8-2, Noah is the winner! Congrats, dude!"

"WHAT!?" Heather roared. The rest of the team applauded as Noah took the stage and received his silver and bronze medal of accomplishment.

"Thanks, guys" Noah said, holding his award up and grinning. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"You da man!" Trent called.

"Speech!" Gwen shouted.

"C'mon!" Izzy cheered, "Speech!"

"Okay, settle down" Noah said. "I'll talk. You know, I never thought we'd get to this point. I thought we'd just have a clean sweep from episode one. You know why we're not a perfect 2-0?"

"Is it my fault?" Lindsay sadly asked.

"No" Noah said. "Your loss makes up for you flashing us. Don't worry about it anymore."

"Kay" Lindsay said, now chipper and happy with herself again.

"Okay" Chris interrupted, applauding. "That was great. Now, about your upgrades..."

"I'm not done" Noah said, "The main reason why we're not going platinum is because our team is strategy-inclined. The other team is rampantly unacknowledged in the finer arts of _Team Fortress_ war. They can evolve, and with your help, I think we can get that evolutionary trait in us."

"So" Izzy started, "we can be like fish-people?"

"Wrong theory" Cody pointed out.

"Alright" Chris started again. "I'm just gonna go for it. Noah, as an engineer, you will have an increased cache of metal to carry around. Your toolbox will be given an expanded repertoire of machines to build, and you will be able to custom build machines with the parts that can be produced. Your turrets have a new level after three, which includes faster gun barrels and field-ready defense laser."

"Radical!" Owen cheered. "Does he get a robot too!?"

"Maybe" Chris said. "Your wrench is now a one-hit kill on saps and on enemies from behind."

"That's cheap!" Heather argued. "My knife's a one-hit from the back because it's a knife. But a wrench? Really?"

"Logically it should be" Noah said. "You can crush someone's skull pretty good with this. Anything else?"

"More health and faster shoes" Chris said. "That's basically it. Have fun with it."

"What's the next map?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, I need to know that" Noah added.

"Nope!" Chris said. "Its' a surprise. But, for now, try and get some sleep. It's been a long, exhausting day, and you'll need all the rest you can get."

"That's true" Owen said. He fainted on the spot, partly from his total exhaustion and partly from all the food he ate recently.

"Now that you mention it" Leshawna said, "I'm pretty beat. Let's all hit the sack."

"Nighty-night, soldiers" Chris said as he exited. "Sweet dreams."

* * *

"Okay" Hatchet roared, "let's just get this over with now. Courtney wins."

"Yay!" Courtney cheered.

"Hurry up!" Hatchet shouted. "I'm tired! As a sniper, your gun now has total overpower. Anything you hit will fly back, and a head shot is always a one-hit kill except for invulnerable targets. You health has increased, your speed has increased, and you now have a choice between explosive or electric power to add to your bullets. You machete has been replaced by an electric rod that will injure from the front and sides and freeze from behind. Your sub-machine gun's ammo has increased as well. Any questions?"

"No sir" Courtney sounded off. She rushed up and collected her medal with a happy smile. "Thank you, sir! And thank you, everybody!"

"No problem!" Duncan said. He was in the back, making gun motions to his team mates for her.

"Lights out!" Hatchet yelled. "You got a new match first thing tomorrow, got it!?"

"Okay, uh, let's move it to bed!" Courtney ordered hurriedly. Everyone went their separate ways to the bunks. Courtney swooped in and kissed Duncan before departing and stopped him fast.

"Congrats, babe" Duncan said. "I'm proud of ya."

"Well," Courtney started, "I have you to thank, don't I?"

"Uh, no" Duncan admitted. "I didn't threaten anyone, actually. Not that I didn't mean to, of course."

"Then, everyone must have just realized what a great job I did!" Courtney cheered.

"""

"What?" Zeke said, picking his nose. "I can be pretty persuasive, you know. I'm sure she'll be more keen to me from now on, eh?"

"""

* * *

What will the next map be? What will Noah's strategy for that map be? How will the communication network help the teams and, finally, when will Izzy get the MVP I know you're wondering it, so stay tuned to _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!_


	19. Lobby 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Fade out from commercial break and into a studio room full of monitors where Chris and Chef sit watching the screens. Chris turns with surfer hands and says "Sup! Welcome to the third part of our six part series _Total Drama Team Fortress_, a virtual-reality video game/ reality show brought to you by the good folks at our network and the great people at _Valve Software._ You've seen the fights so far, but let's recap for those of you on memory medication. Chef?"

"Ahem" Chef began, "In the first game, Noah led his team to victory with his speedy, precisely timed strategies honed from years of personal experience in the game. In doing so, he won the trust of his team mates and cemented the Blue forces for their future fights. However, it was Courtney's ingenuity and back-handed trickery that won her team the second map where Noah's advanced, genius planning failed."

"Now" Chris began again, "it's the morning after the first day. Everyone's sure to be sore and cramped and hungry from the intense activity, especially Blue team. We've decided to take a more extreme spin on our rule-bending angle for the game and have left the camper...uh, soldiers to wake up to a little surprise. Will Noah be able to cope with all these reality-bending changes and still make strategies for his team?"

"Will Courtney's instincts guide her to another victory?" Chef added.

"Finally, who will win the coveted MVP title for this map?" Chris excitedly announced. "My money's on Harold."

"Gotta go with Izzy" Chef said.

"Well, we'll let you find out!" Chris said, pointing into the camera. "Keep it here on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_In a dark and dank looking cave with puddles and deep holes of shallow water we find the first group of boys. Left with only their swimming gear and weaponry, they wake up on the cold rock ground one by one, Noah being the first on the Blue team.

* * *

"Oh, how dandy" he sarcastically said. "We're in a cave."

"How'd we get here?" Trent asked.

"They must have drugged us in our sleep" Cody assumed.

"Or" Noah started, "since this is a virtual reality, they just cut and paste us from one spot to another. We're all just computer programs right now, they can do whatever they want up there!"

"That sucks" Trent said. "Good thing all of us are in here and not out where we can mess with stuff."

"But what about the Headquarters?" Cody asked. "I'm positive that was real."

"It may have been" Noah figured, "of course that's not our most pressing concern right now."

"Yeah" Justin began, feeling at his chiseled face. "My cosmetics were back in that base. I need to exfoliate in the morning every other day or I get dry skin."

"You wear make up?" Noah asked, chuckling a bit. "That's kinda weird."

"""

"Psh!" Justin scoffed in a hobbled out cavern corner. "Is it weird to want to look better than anyone else? Honestly, is it weird to have a strict, five-hour schedule that takes effect from wake-up til mid morning? All in the effort of beauty? He just doesn't understand."

"""

"What're we supposed to do in here?" Trent asked. "There aren't any other caves connecting to this one that I can see."

"What about the water?" Cody asked. "One of those puddles could actually be a tunnel leading to the next cavern, and we're supposed to go there...or something."

"Cody" Noah said grabbing his shoulder, "you're a genius. They must want us to assume there's a complex entrance or exit and have us get out quick. Okay, let's all back up over here and get a good look at everything."

"What about Owen?" Trent asked. Owen was still huddled up in his proportionately tiny trunks in the middle of the cave.

"Ah, let him sleep" Noah said. "If we can't find our way out we may have to eat him." Noah, Cody and Trent all took position at the edges of the waled in cave. Justin stood on top of Owen and looked around analytically. There were four pools of water in all: one at the bottom of a fatal crevice, one in the corner of the cave, another in the middle and one that softly flowed down a tiny hole that led to yet another one through the cavern walls.

"I say" Noah started, "the corner one."

"Right" Cody agreed.

"Okay" Trent said, being the closest, "I'll check it out. There could be sharks or crocodiles down there."

"I wouldn't doubt it" Noah skeptically said. Trent took in a deep breath and started walking into the pool. It seemed to be much deeper than it appeared, as Trent was completely under the water after a few steps. A couple seconds went by, and he came back up.

"I can see the other end" he exclaimed. "It's not a far swim, either. Just about five meters in a kind of arc-shaped tunnel."

"You could see light?" Noah asked.

"Yeah" Trent responded. "Let's wake up Owen and go."

"Hold on" Noah began, taking out his toolbox, "I can't swim very well. Just give me a minute or two to get something together."

"Like what?" Cody asked.

"One of my MVP upgrades" Noah explained "was a customizable toolbox. If I can understand how the parts work, I can build whatever I want. Just give me a couple of seconds and I'll build myself a scuba tank to help me swim across."

"No prob, leader" Trent said. "Ill try and get Owen up." So Noah pulled out his command remote, now fully digital and sleeker than before, and started manually assembling what seemed to be stamina-increasing electronic gear with oxygen-tank attachment while Cody helped and watched. Justin was content to stay in the corner where the shallow pool was an stare into it endlessly instead of helping Trent roll over and kick Owen out of his nap.

* * *

"I'm in charge now" Duncan gruffed, "so shut up and pay attention." Harold raised his hand. "No."

"But I need to go, man!" Harold whined, clutching his groin.

"You'll have to hold it" Duncan said.

"But there's pools of water everywhere" Harold argued. "It's not like I don't have a place to go!"

"Not in front of us, you don't!" Duncan shouted.

"Well, we're all guys here, eh?" Ezekiel pointed out. It seemed the Red team was in an identical dilemma, as the boys were separated from the girls. That was the major vein in Duncan's forehead, that he and Courtney were inexplicably apart for no reason.

"Hey man" DJ began compromisingly "just let the dude go, okay. He can't go in his pants, that'd be even worse!"

With a sigh, Duncan pointed over to the far corner of the cave and Harold rushed over eagerly.

"Okay" Geoff now said anxiously, "so what's the plan, leader man? How do we get outta here?"

"I dunno" Duncan said.

"What!?" Geoff shouted. He became frantic and started panting as he rushed over and started shaking Duncan by the shoulders. "We've gotta get outta here, dude! What about the girls!? I know they can defend themselves, but Bridgette's a pacifist! She could get seriously hurt fighting, or she could trip or Eva could EAT HER! She's crazy enough to do that man!" A light thud sound was heard and Geoff quickly went down. DJ had stuck him with a morphine-laden needle to calm him down. Duncan brushed off his shoulders and stepped away from Geoff's drooling body.

"""

"Sorry" DJ said, "but that dude was trippin'. I'm not about to let Duncan tear up Geoff just cause he's worried about his girl."

"""

"Okay" he started, "anyone got any ideas?"

"Shouldn't there be a door or something?" Tyler asked.

"A door?" Duncan repeated. "In a cave!? Of course! Why, it's so simple! We'll just find the wood-paneled door built into a solid rock cave and dance our way outta here! Are you a moron!?"

"Sorry" Tyler shyly said. Harold was heard a distance away shouting and splashing in the water.

"What's the matter with him" Duncan asked. "Did he seriously fall in?" Harold crawled his way out feverishly spitting out water and shaking it off.

"Hey guys!" Harold called, spitting out more water. "I found a way out!"

"It better not be in your pee water!" Duncan growled. Harold lowered his excitement levels and self-consciously looked around.

"...Maybe?" Harold at last said. The guys all groaned and openly protested in the small cavern they were in, unaware of course of just how many illusionary entrances and exits there really were.

* * *

"Hey!" a grumpy, irritated voice shouted. The blurry blue of the rock walls and reflecting water was the first thing Gwen saw, then she saw Heather and jumped back a step. "It's about time you woke up" Heather huffed.

"Wha...?" Gwen muttered. "What's going on?"

"Izzy thinks we were kidnapped" Lindsay explained.

"Of course we were kidnapped!" Izzy shouted. "It's a part of the new twist. Our comrades have to struggle to survive without their healer, other soldier, scout, spy, explosives expert or their lovable pyro! They're doomed!"

"Why'd you add lovable?" Leshawna asked.

"Cause I am, duh" Izzy replied.

"""

"Yeah" Leshawna said, "about as adorable as a poisonous scorpion."

"""

"Maybe we're just lost" Lindsay started.

"Okay" Heather said in fake humor. "Suppose we're lost. How'd we get lost considering the last thing any of us did was fall asleep?"

"We're all sleepwalkers under very specific conditions?" Beth theorized.

"It's definitely a part of the game" Gwen said, standing up at last. "Let's just calm down and think for a second. They wouldn't just strand us in some random...cave with no way out. This is a war game, not a torture show."

"In a way" Heather said, "it's kind of both."

"Are you still upset about the MVP stuff?" Izzy figured. "God, you're such a baby! I'm having plenty of fun and I'm not even trying to get the MVP. Just relax and take a dip!"

"What?" Heather said, grinding her teeth. "I am relaxed. I'm the most relaxed person HERE!!!" Ironically, her very loud yelling made all the water pools ripple slightly.

"Wow" Beth awed.

"Come on in guys!" Izzy invited. She had her gun on a low setting and was using one of the pools as a jacuzzi, lounging on the rock edge and sighing contently.

"Wait a sec" Gwen said. "How deep is that thing?"

"Oh, pretty deep" Izzy said. "There's even some light coming out the other end. It looks cool!"

"That msut be the exit!" Gwen exclaimed. "Quick Izzy, turn off your gun. We have to get on the other side!"

"Uh, maybe we should wait first..." Izzy said.

"Why?" Leshawna asked.

"Um..." Izzy shamefully started, "well, usually the first thing I do in the mornings is use the bathroom...soooo...."

"Oh, come on!" Heather shouted. The rest of the girls made their own general faces of disgust and 'ewwwww'ed at the bashful Izzy.

"""

"What?" Izzy said. "Can you blame me? It felt sooo gooood! I defy anyone in their right mind to hold it in when you're in a hot tub like that. Besides, it's not like anyone would've noticed, right?"

"""

* * *

In the final cavern, where the Red team women woke up, activity and escapism plans were already quickly in motion. Courtney was moving slowly along the walls, keeping her ear on the rock face and tapping with her gun butt to find any hollow area that Eva could break down. In the meantime, Bridgette calibrated her healing gun out of curiosity, Katie and Sadie dipped their feet in an oddly deep puddle and Eva did push ups.

"Find anything yet, Courtney?" Bridgette asked.

"No" Courtney replied. "I don't get it. If they put us in this tiny room, they should give us a way out!" Eva got up from her work out and walked over to another pool of water to splash her face and take a drink.

"Just how deep are those pools, Eva?" Bridgette asked. Eva glanced over at her and asked herself why it mattered. Still, she dunked her head down and looked around. The pool was a water-logged tunnel that led to another, darker opening about five meters away.

"It's a tunnel" Eva said.

"Oh!" Katie exclaimed. "Maybe this one's a tunnel too!"

"Let's check!" Sadie said. They both ducked under together and saw a bright, shimmering light across the tunnel. They came back up and Courtney was looming over them curiously, giving them a spook when they saw her.

"How deviously clever of them!" Courtney said. "They hide the exit in plain sight."

"There's another pool down in that gorge" Eva pointed out. "We could climb down and use it if we wanted."

"No, this one's easier" Courtney said. "Plus, there's light at the other end of it."

"Light is good" Bridgette added.

"Fine" Eva gruffed. "Let's take the easy way out."

"You two go first" Courtney ordered to Katie and Sadie. The girls looked at each other, then up at her for further explanation. "You're a combo team, so if there are enemies on the other side, you'll be able to deal with them the best."

"Then why not send Eva and Bridgette?" Sadie asked with Katie nodding.

"Uh" Courtney hesitated, "because we need Eva here as back up in case the other teams come in from...somewhere."

"Oh" Sadie said. "Okay. Let's go Katie."

"Yeah!" Katie shouted. "You can take this pool and shove it-wait, what?" Sadie was already diving, so Katie followed after her as quick as she could.

"Why didn't you send me?" Eva asked.

"You don't send out the most important soldier" Courtney began "if you don't know whether they'll live or die. You must always fight a battle you know you can win."

"I didn't know you read Sun Tzu" Eva said.

"Well, I quote it every now and then" Courtney said. "I'm pretty fierce when I'm campeigning for something I want."

"Impresive" Eva said. Sadie and Katie resurface with grins.

"No one's out there" Sadie reported. "The whole base is ours for the taking!"

"Base?" Courtney repeated. "What base?"

* * *

"Hydro" Noah said. "My second favorite map. Awesome."

"That's good then" Trent said. "We should have a clean sweep, right?"

"Don't rule the Reds out just yet" Noah warned. "They're raw ingenuity has brought them back form the brink more than once. We have experience and strategy, they have brute force and adaptation. Let's assume they've already started preparing their defenses and start setting up ourselves."

"Right" Trent said.

"Okay" Noah began as he inspected the lay of the land. "Trent, get the high ground from that window in the base. Owen, get the forward ground and guard that cave exit. Justin, hang back and aim at the centeral point. Cody, you and me will set up our defense."

"Where?" Cody asked.

"See that big circle?" Noah asked, pointing to the huge concrete depression in the middle of the map where a single small tower with two ramps leading up came up barely above the ground level. "Two turrets in there and they'll never take the point."

"Coolness" Cody said.

"Indeed" Noah added.

* * *

So now the map has been revealed: Hydro! The multi-step conquer and control map with so many paths and ways to effectively play. Each group is heading to a different location, a different point to control, in one of the biggest twists yet. What new twists await the teams down the road? What new rampages will happen as the boys and girls start meeting up again. Who will win the map this round? Root for whomever and expect the worst, here on _Total Drama Team FORTRESS!_


	20. Hydro 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Hey there, maggots!" Hatchet shouted, introducing the episode. "I'm gonna give you the run down on the map for the start of the second part of the season, Hydro." With the press of a remote button, the view started showing a pan of the expansive map. "Looks big, don't it? Not to worry. The object of Hydro is territorial control. There are six individual sections of the map with one point each near the spawning point for the team. During battles, pathways to and from each base will open up, allowing the teams to attack. Whoever steals the other teams control point moves on to the next map. Once all the territories are under control, the attacking team will bring the offense to the defending team's base. The goal at the end is for one team to control the map."

"As this is a network program" he continued, "there will be only one round. However, within that round, there are two definite twists. The first twist, obviously, is that the teams are separated into the boys and girl. Each team was placed within an identical spawn point and prompted, very subtly, to swim out. We had a few near misses, but eventually all the teams left and are now occupying each of the four areas. The layout goes like this: at the Radar Dish base is the Blue team boys. At the adjacent Canyon base are the Red team girls. At the Toll Gate base are the Blue team girls and in the Hydro-Electric base are the Red team boys."

"Who will fight who?" Hatchet began, butchering the normal tone of introduction. "Can Noah's team stand up to Eva? Will Gwen get killed by Ezekiel? What about the sewers in this level, who will have to go through them?...sewers...? And, of course, what is the second twist. Hee hee, I ain't telling. Just watch, you filthy couch slob, on _Total. Drama. Team Fortress!_"

* * *

Coming back, we see the Blue boys hard at work. Cody's point-central turret guarded the capture node. Noah ran around, looking through all the potential entrances and strategizing the whole time. Justin, Owen and Trent had collaborated to building some extra fortifications by taking the scrap used to make walls and barricades and walling up the bigger entrances.

"Great idea, Trent" Owen said.

"Yeah" Trent said. "I saw it on a movie once. These dudes were trapped in an old warehouse while an army of zombies hunted them down, so they used a bunch of crates and sheet metal to make it so only one door was usable. Then, the zombies would have to funnel through that hole to get to the human brains."

"Did it work?" Justin asked.

"For a while" Trent said, "but then the warehouse got carpet-bombed by the military. IT was a cool flick, though."

"I sure hope we don't get carpet-bombed" Owen pointed out.

"Hey up there!" Noah shouted from within the huge dish that held the control point. "How's it going?"

"Great!" Trent said. "We could hold back Eva with this wall."

"Well, I doubt that" Noah replied, "but keep it up anyway." His cynicism wasn't there without real purpose. After all, Eva was the biggest crutch to them now. He wasn't yet aware that two MVPs were on the same warpath, but Eva was his main concern.

"""

"When you've got a girl that can bench-press a truck" Noah explained, "that's bad. When she's carrying a few hundred thousand dollars worth of military weaponry and enough ammunition to win her own war, that's worse. Regardless of who else they elected, Eva's our biggest problem."

"""

"Hey, Noah!" Cody shouted out. "Did you get your machines to work yet?"

"Not the way I want them to" Noah explained. "I'm gonna keep trying." He flashed a positive thumb to Cody, who gave him one back and went back to his work. His dispenser was blocking one of the windows in the small hut that housed the point and the turret was built right on top of it. This way, he could sit back, hammering wildly, while someone could rush in either side and they'd still get nowhere. Of course, the main flaw was that if two people sandwich rushed him, he'd be a goner, and if Duncan came he wouldn't be able to hold out...basically, it was a more risky strategy than he wanted to use.

"Alright" Trent said, admiring his team's work. "That's finished." The entrance they barred up was the cave which opened out into what used to be more cover. Now there were only a few places the enemy could come from, namely up on the hill and through the canyon. Noah retreated back inside the base to the monitors in one of the locked rooms. Normally, players can't get into these rooms, but now that the virtual reality had gotten a logistic upgrade, a quick blast of shotgun shells would open nearly any door.

"Okey dokey" Noah said, sitting down, "let's check this out." He started typing, very slowly, at the computer terminal. Screens appeared and disappeared as he clacked away, each of them showing minute or trivial map information. What he was looking for was, of course, behind a password lock. "Password required, eh?" Noah said, rubbing his chin. The genius that he was, it only took him a few tries before the pass 'Chris McClean' granted him access. "You gotta love the narcissists."

* * *

In the canyon base, the Red girls were setting themselves up for attack. This base was built into the side of the surrounding rock walls. One potential exit led out into a shallow pool that spread out to the entire left area of the base. One passage to the right lead through into caves that were sealed off with metal doors. The middle path was a large and wide pass with branching stair and ramp ways. A huge, somewhat impromptu metal wall was placed denying access near the next base. From the spawn point, one could take cover in the windowed ramparts of the second story and snipe at the control point built at the end of a cement walkway coming from the gorge path. Courtney decided that was her best spot, and she stayed up there practicing with her gun.

"This gun rock!" Courtney exclaimed. "I can actually aim and shoot through thin stuff and barriers!"

"Hey President!" Eva shouted up from the ground. "What're we supposed to do!?"

"I don't know" Courtney yelled. "Entertain yourself until the game starts!" Courtney noticed that Katie and Sadie were on top of the oddly placed staircase that led into the rock wall overlooking, the control point. "Look and those two. They're already ready to defend in case of an attack. Just do...whatever!"

"Forget it" Eva grumbled. "I'll just come inside...at least there's some equipment in here." Bridgette followed, as her efficiency partner, but stopped before she was the whole way in. The winds had picked up and the sloshing pool waters were kicking in waves. Those waves traveled through the exit grate and hit against the damp, concrete wall edge.

"Hey Courtney" Bridgette called. "I think it's gonna rain."

"We're in a virtual reality" Courtney said back. "Why the heck would it rain? Besides that, we're in the desert. How could it rain in the desert!?" Just then, the low rumble of thunder was heard far away. Courtney and Bridgette looked in its direction, Courtney with much more surprise, and they bit their lips. "Then again, I could be wrong."

"I'll go tell Katie and Sadie" Bridgette said. "They couldn't have heard the thunder over their own talking."

"Good idea" Courtney said. "I'll try and seal the base off while we can." Courtney darted back into the base with the intention of keeping her roost nice and dry. As Bridgette ran and called down the girls, she couldn't help but look up to the sky as the wind blew her hair. She wondered, first of all if she could have misheard the sound before, if Geoff was alright. Maybe that was his, blasting his rocket at something...somewhere.

"""

"It may seem kind of sobby" Bridgette said, "but I really miss Geoff. We got really, _really_ close recently, and being away from him with all these walls...makes me kinda down, you know?"

"""

As the girls all rushed around getting the base prepared and ready for an inevitable storm, Courtney was looking at some other, more intriguing things in her base. Eva hulked around most of the heavy material that was salvaged from dysfunctional, unessential computers and pipes, Courtney was fixated on the dim glow of a room full of monitors. That's when Eva came by.

"We could use this door" she said, and using her mighty muscles, she ripped the door from its hinges. Courtney went inside the room and looked around. There were plenty of computers and terminals that could be used as barricades, but they weren't scrapped yet. They all seemed to still be on, like someone left them running to leave and quickly come back.

"Huh" she said, observing everything, "that's weird."

"Let's get this stuff, too" Eva instructed, keeping the other girls in tow.

"Wait a sec" Courtney ordered. "Let me check something first..." She walked over to one of the computers, bent over and started typing at it."

"What're you doing?" Katie asked.

"She's probably trying to text Duncan" Sadie assumed. Both girls giggled with mocking looks. Courtney picked up a computer mouse and threw it at them, hitting Katie and Sadie as it bounced from forehead to mouth.

"Nice throw" Eva said. "What _are_ you doing, though?"

"Seeing if we can use theses computers" Courtney said. "We're essentially playing a war game, and without anything to write on I can't easily make any strategies. I want to use this computer to, hopefully, get a full map of the area so we can see the best routes to take. I want us to 'see around walls', as it were."

"Can't you see through walls?" Bridgette asked. For breaking Courtney's concentration, she had to dodge another mouse, which she did.

"Well, we'll just take what isn't working" Eva said, picking up a bare table. "You might want to find some towels or something for the windows. Those storm clouds are moving in fast." That caught and kept Courtney's attention. She looked over her shoulder and saw that the light from the windows was now much dimmer. Her roost was in danger of being hazardously slippery. Another crack of thunder, this time much louder and sharper than the last dull one, came and forced the weaker willed girls to jump. Eva was the only one who kept working anyway.

"We'll leave you alone" Bridgette said, escorting Katie and Sadie out. Courtney turned back around and continued working, despite the danger of a soaking-wet standing point, and eventually came to the firewall that hid the 'Mapping and Planning' section of documents.

"It would have to be password protected, wouldn't it!?" she growled. After holding back the urge to pick up her keyboard and slam the monitor, she started entering random names and phrases...

* * *

At the Toll Booth base, where the Blue girls held up, Izzy ignored the coming storm and got the lay of the land. She had, with no argument, promoted herself to temporary team leader. With the mud from the banks of the moving pools of water (which came from dirt-clogged pipes that led under a building) under her eyes she took on the appearance of the crazy 'Nam tourer she really was.

"I sense this is the path they will take" Izzy told herself, even though a concrete walkway was to her immediate left and led straight on top of the point. In the toll booth building for which the base was named, Gwen and Leshawna were keeping an eye on their manic leader.

"Uh" Leshawna started, "does she know that ain't the only entrance that's blocked off?" Leshawna was referring to the slope that had a sort of hidden metal gate. Protecting the point and whatever was guarding it were two huge tanks of questionable content.

"Let's not tell her" Gwen said, resting her already hurting head in her hand. "She'll be happier if she figures it out on her own. Are you as tired as I am right now?"

"That's just the rain talking" Leshawna said. "Let's go back in the base. At least it's warm in there."

"Hey you two!" Izzy called. "Wait for me! I can make it warmer!" The girls both knew what that meant, and they slapped their foreheads at the same time.

"""

"That girls should not be legally allowed to operate anything more dangerous than a wool hat!" Leshawna raged.

"""

"She's a military defector" Gwen said "and she has a flamethrower. The producers better have really good insurance for us right now!"

"""

Back inside the girls were more or less oblivious to the conditions, mostly because Lindsay's carefree attitude had effected everyone's atmosphere. For now, the girls decided to just lay low and stay in the base until something else came up. Lindsay and Beth, with Izzy's help, converted the largest room into a steam room by disconnecting the boilers and sealing off one of the open doors. Heather was asleep and covered her face with a spare towel from the spawn locker room.

"This isn't so bad" Lindsay said. "My skin could really use a good steam."

"It's alright" Gwen said. "Doesn't anyone think doing this was completely unnecessary?"

"Your face is unnecessary!" Izzy growled. Something about the steam and being trapped inside the base when a rainstorm was coming made her a little irritable and paranoid. She was content to sharpen her ax with a rock in the opposite corner.

"Just chill girl" Leshawna said, putting a hand to her shoulder. "It's not like we're going anywhere." Just then, with a loud crack of thunder and flash of lightning, the rain came down hard. Even through the hissing steam, the girls could hear it outside.

Little did they know, the match would soon begin.

* * *

And what of the Red boys? Are they getting along, or has turmoil broken through. Will the Blue boys get an effective barrier set up in time? Will the Red girls be able to move out on a moments notice? Who will fight who? More importantly, who will win!? All these exciting questions will be further elaborated in the next installment of _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!_


	21. Hydro 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

In the electric turbine-filled base, the Red boys were scattered. Duncan leaned against the railing at the control point, Geoff sulked in one of the glass-windowed rooms and Ezekiel was at the top of the stairs. DJ and Tyler stayed down below, checking out the turbines and other machines, and acting as part-time messengers for the split-apart boys.

"This is nuts" DJ whispered to Tyler. "We need to get the team back together."

"For sure" Tyler agreed, "but how? Duncan's still steaming and Geoff's still crying. I don't think we'll get Zeke to budge either, dude."

"We're in trouble, aren't we?" DJ asked. Suddenly a crack of thunder blasted through the air. DJ shrieked and jumped up from the ground floor to the hanging walkway the control point was on and quivered.

"Howdy" Duncan greeted roughly. "Listen, go over and tell Geoff to get himself together, got it?"

"Uh, sure" DJ said, still shaking. "Do I have to say it like that?"

"Just go!" Duncan ordered. "Jock-boy" Duncan called to Tyler, "go ask Z if he's ready to stop being an idiot yet." Tyler saluted and ran over to the steps just across the floor. In the windowed room, Geoff sat and twiddled his thumb in a swivel chair. DJ cautiously entered the room, like he was afraid the lightning might strike again, and waved to Geoff. Geoff was finally in a pleasant enough mood to wave back and grin.

"Duncan wants to know if you're cool or not yet" DJ said.

"Yeah" Geoff said, "I'm good. I just had a...little breakdown, that's all."

"Alright" DJ said gladly. "I'll go tell Duncan, and maybe we can get the team back together."

"If Zeke can calm down" Geoff said "then we'll be fine. I just hope we can regroup with the whole team soon..."

"We'll be alright" DJ reminded him. "Don't worry about a thing." Across the building, only a short walk away, Tyler was talking Ezekiel into apologizing and coming back on Duncan's terms. And finally, the last of the boys was back, as Harold decloaked from his expedition into the greater area of the base.

"What's up?" Duncan said.

"Through that air vent" Harold said, pointing up to his entrance/exit for recon, "there's an area with a computer. I was able to log on and get the specs on the divided teams."

"Good man" Duncan said. "What'd you find out?"

"Ezekiel was right" Harold reported. "They split us up into boy and girl teams. Right now, the Blue team is occupying the toll booth base and the radar dish base, and our team has this base and the dam base."

"That's good to know" Duncan said. "Do we know which base we're taking first?"

"Not yet" Harold said. "I think they're going to do one match at a time, so we may have to keep waiting. Besides that, it's raining pretty hard outside."

"We'll figure it out" Duncan said.

"""

"Okay" Duncan began, "here's what happened. I took command when we came into the base, and Geoff was bawling about Bridgette. So I said, 'yeah, I miss Courtney too, but suck it up already', and then Ezekiel asked why we would bother missing the girls...what's wrong with that kid!? So Tyler told him off and he called Lindsay a tramp, then Geoff went off crying when he talked bad about how clumsy Bridgette is, then he insulted Courtney for being pushy and loud. That pissed me off pretty good, so we split up. Harold wouldn't stop hovering around me, so I told him to scout the rest of the base and see if he could get out. I had to give him something to do..."

"""

"Okay team" Duncan called now that everyone was gathered together, "listen up! I don't know what's going to be outside those doors, whichever one decides to open, so I suggest we form a defensive strategy first."

"Good plan" Harold agreed.

"Zeke, build a turret" Duncan commanded. "Somewhere in the middle, just in case. We don't know which door or doors will open when our fight begins, so complete coverage will be essential."

"Yes sir!" Zeke sounded off. He set up his dispenser not too far from the control point and dropped down to ground floor to run back into the spawn base.

"I'll set down some grenades, too" Duncan said. "DJ, you heal Geoff." DJ and Geoff moved closer together, weapons up, and saluted. "Tyler, when we start to attack, you'll go first. Try and find an alternate route to the base, one that wouldn't get a lot of attention, and get there quick. Harold, you go behind me and Tyler. Once we know who we're fighting, a disguise should be easy."

"Right on" Harold said.

"I'm thinking that they'll pair us up so the teams are even" Duncan said, "so we might be fighting the Blue team girls. If that's the case, we'll be fighting Izzy." Harold gasped melodramatically and started breathing with his inhaler. "She's obviously our biggest threat because she's totally insane, but Gwen is an MVP, so we need to take care of her too."

"What about Heather?" Zeke asked, now assembling his turret. "She's one mean girl, eh?"

"We'll all take a spy-check approach" Duncan said. "Just hit or shoot any of us that you see and we'll know if they start bleeding and running away."

"Yeah!" Tyler shouted. "We'll waste those chicks!!!" The boy's morale was spiked through the roof, and they were ready to shamelessly kick some girl ass!

* * *

Meanwhile, in the exclusive lounge for the producers, Chris and Hatchet were deciding on which battle should take place first.

"I want to see Duncan get fried" Hatchet said. "That's all I want, really. Get that fight going."

"Yeah, we could" Chris said, "but the virtual rain is getting pretty harsh. Izzy's flamethrower wouldn't do much good. Let's wait until after the first match for her to barbecue everyone."

"Fine" Hatchet grumped. "So the first match will be Noah's boys versus Courtney's girls. I can tell it's gonna be a mental battle before an ammunitions battle."

"Really?" Chris said.

"They're the team strategists." Hatchet pointed out. "Noah has all the info about the game, while Courtney has the wild adaptation skills of a C.I.T. It's anyone's game."

"Alrighty then" Chris said, twirling his finger around the 'start' button. "Let the battle of nerds and barbarians, begin!" So he pressed the button, and the metal doors were opened. In the radar dish base, two doors under the metal bridge, one of which was already blocked, were open. The other one was unprotected, but a huge dump-truck was in front of it enough to provide cover. Fortunately, Noah and the boys hadn't stopped working despite the rain, as they were virtual entities and couldn't get sick anyway.

"We're fighting the dam base!" Noah said, having memorized the layout of the doors and paths. "Owen, Trent, Justin, move that truck and block that tunnel!"

"Move the truck!?" Trent shouted. "You've got to be joking!"

"The ground's nice and wet" Noah argued. "You guys should be able to at least make it snug enough so they can't easily get through. Just push it!"

"I have a better idea" Justin said. "Why don't you drive it?" Noah took a thoughtful hand to his chin and started rubbing it. After a few seconds, he shrugged and hopped into the cab.

"Not that I know how to drive" Noah argued. "I guess I'll just have to cheat my way out of this." So he opened his toolbox, signaled the boys to begin pushing, and stared assembling a sort of sapper with a controller wired to it. He placed the sapper on the console of the truck and turned it on. The car turned on and he had control of it at last. "Okay" Noah said out the window, "try just pushing the back end. I'll back it up and we'll juxtaposition it from there."

"Aye aye" Owen said, pushing hard at the back end. Cody was still camped out in the control point, watching everything happen, and decided to take the more masculine approach.

"""

"Rather than disobey orders" Cody explained, "I decided to help out the cause and hopefully speed up our operation. I mean, it's not like the enemy team could get through the other door unnoticed."

"""

So Cody went over and helped push too. Mud kicked up everywhere, on the walls and barriers and the roof of the metal walkway over them. Eventually the truck did move, and Noah began the next part of his genius plan.

"Okay" he called, "now push the cab." The boys moved up and pushed while Noah had the wheels in full turn and drove forward so the truck would go to the left in the mud. As it hit the dry ground, Noah relaxed the accelerator and let the truck move itself into position. Then, taking a hint from his older sibling's parallel parking practice he watched and noted over, Noah parked the car perfectly in front of the open cave exit. With their other barricade, they were now completely sealed inside and had no threat of capture at all. However, they also couldn't move in to capture either without moving the barrier or the truck.

"Now what?" Trent asked as Noah stepped out of the truck.

"Now we wait" Noah said "for that barrier to get blown apart."

"We wait on that?" Justin asked. "Shouldn't we find an alternate route and attack?"

"Not really" Noah said. "Our strongest asset is defense. If they attack us and we repel them, we'll move our defense up. The more we move it up, the closer we get to getting control of their base, and then we capture the point with no hassle at all."

"Smart plan" Trent said, "but we're taking a big risk here. This plan takes a lot of time to effectively do, but we don't have forever to fight. How long is this match?"

"About eight minutes at start time" Noah said. "We've used up about two minutes and we're still counting. They haven't even attacked yet, though, so who knows if we've really started yet or not..."

"What do you mean?" Owen asked.

"Well, we were outside the base when the clock started" Noah explained. "We may stil be in the planning and set up stage. I'm not sure. The rules are getting so bent it's hard to be sure about this anymore."

"Well, in any case" Cody said, "I have an idea so we can start attacking early."

"Really?" Noah said. "What?"

"I'm a small dude" Cody said. "I'll use a teleporter entrance out here, then place an exit in their base. Kind of a covert operation."

"Great idea, dude!" Trent said.

"Agreed" Noah said. "Get to it!"

"""

"I'm surprised by how quickly my team is catching on" Noah proudly said. "I think we're going to do just fine here."

"""

So Cody initiated his plan to set up a controlled path to the enemy control point by setting up a teleportation system.

* * *

Meanwhile the girls, who the boy were now defending and attacking, were sealed up tight in their base. With no heat and no food, they had to endure the rain with minimal space and nothing to do.

"Did you guys hear something?" Courtney asked. "Something like, a car?"

"Yeah, a car" Eva sarcastically shot out, "in the middle of a virtual-reality desert. Why wouldn't there be a car!?"

"Maybe its Noah's" Bridgette said. "Didn't he get the MVP?"

"Whatever" Courtney said. "This rainstorm must be playing tricks on me. I'm gonna go see if its let up yet."

"Whatever" Eva groaned. Courtney took a trip up the stairs and onto her sniping roost. She moved back her barrier that kept her ledge nice and dry to take a peek out. She saw nothing but heavy rain pouring down and flooding the grounds. They were at the base of a dam, after all, and some of the reservoir water was seeping over the top of the huge concrete wall. She decided to use her sniper and scope out the landscape behind the rain. When she switched on her heat vision, she saw a scrawny human form sneaking around in her base, planting something behind the control point. She didn't take a second to hesitate and shot at the form, which quickly ducked down for cover.

"Like that'll help" she sneered. She could still see her target through the transparent form of the wall he was behind and shot him down right through the wall. "Shoot" Courtney said angrily. She ran back to the base urgently and threw open the door.

"What's wrong?" Bridgette asked.

"The game started!" Courtney yelled. "We have to move out now!"

"Are you serious" Eva said. Sadie and Katie gasped together. "What about a plan?"

"No time for plans!" Courtney said. "Let's just move it!" Eva grinned and got her gun. Bridgette followed close behind her with her healing gun at full blast. Katie and Sadie teamed up and moved out as well. Courtney equipped one of the spare derby hats in the lockers and charged out on her own. They all flanked right to the open doors and charged through.

"I guess they're coming" Noah said, confirming that Cody was dead. "Get ready, guys." Owen revved his gun with a dispenser on his back, Trent went prone with an extended cap from the locker rooms to protect his vision, and Justin took guard on the top of the radar tower. Everyone was aiming for the same tunnel that Noah stood over with his newest invention. The battle was truly about to start!


	22. Hydro 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"WHAT!?" Courtney yelled. There was a truck in her way through one path and a wall at the end of the other. She was officially blocked out. "Oh, what the ***!?" she roared, slamming her gun on the ground and kicking the cave wall. She lost health and stubbed her toe, but her wild anger let her ignore it for a second.

"I can see those worms from here" Eva said, hugging the ground and leering out the underbelly of the truck. Courtney heard her and blinked in astonishment for a second. Then she picked her gun back up and went prone. With her superior weapon, even if it couldn't pierce through the metal of the dump truck, she could pick off anyone stupid enough to go across her field of vision.

"""

"In a game of wits" Courtney explained, "it is imperative to remain positive and hopeful at all times. No matter how impossible the defense, there is always a way to succeed!"

"""

"Good bye, Trent!" Courtney said cruelly. With no cover to hide behind, Trent was crouched down in the open, and through her heat vision to see through the rain, she was able to snipe him away instantly. "Eva, go help Katie and Sadie get that other wall down!"

"Yes ma'am" Eva growled. She was more angry at the barriers the boys had set up so quickly while the girls hid inside the base than she really was at her team. Her anger was in her own control, and she was about to direct it at the unmoving wall.

"This stupid thing won't budge!" Katie complained as she pushed against it.

"It's like a wall or something." Bridgette just rolled her eyes and continued to use her hands to dig out the deeply planted wall. Then Eva came stomping in like a rhino and charged the wall. On the other side of the barricade, a dent came out from where Eva hit. Through nearly six thick layers of sheet metal, she bent the odds and rammed the wall down enough for a small gap to show.

"That ain't good" Justin said. He was soon after picked off by Courtney. Cody came out from the base after finally respawning and looked at the gauntlet he had to cross. Eva was destroying the defensive wall and he could see Courtney ducked down under the truck ,shooting at his defenses.

"Oh, that's not good" Cody said. He ran back into the base, destroyed his teleporter entrance remotely, and threw down a new one. Meanwhile, while his comrades struggled to keep their ground, Noah stayed up in the lofty computer room and observed at a safe distance.

"It's good to be the king" Noah told himself. He picked up his engineer console and pressed a few buttons. On the video monitors he hacked into, a small turret hanging from the underside of the walkway over the coal truck was visible. He took a small joystick in his fingers, pressed a button on the side, and started controlling the turret. "Let's see how you deal with this" Noah said.

"Come on out" Courtney taunted. "I won't bite..." She heard and odd thunk, like a grenade launcher was fired, then a grenade rolled under the truck. She stared at it for a second, then realized the pin was out. "Oh f---" and the truck blew up with her. Now the coal truck was a smoldering mess. The gas tank caught and blew up, spreading coal shrapnel everywhere. Owen had strategically placed himself behind one of the spare metal sheets just in case, so he didn't get hit. Hot soot and flickering pieces of coal were spread out like shrapnel and set into the cliff face walls violently.

"What was that!?" Cody exclaimed. His teleporter was built, and now he waited for Justin to spawn as a part of his strategy. Trent was back to life and sped out to take prone cover on the metal ledge to help out Owen as the girls got through. Finally, Justin spawned with an angry look and Cody came up to him. "Hey, use the teleporter quick."

"Why?" Justin asked.

"It goes straight to the enemy control point" Cody said. "I need your help capturing it."

"Okay" Justin agreed. He stepped onto the teleporter and was off to the Red base. Unfortunately, Cody built the teleporter at the base of the control point's concrete stand, and the rain had risen the water level dangerously. The dam was even overflowing slowly, and Justin teleported it nearly waist deep in water. He stepped up onto the concrete thing holding the control point and stepped near it. However, the experience he had with this game already made him more cautious in his approach than before. Instead of wasting his life at Courtney's hands again, why not let Cody start the capture and trace her fire so he could flush her out?

"""

"Why get my hands dirty" Justin said "when there are plenty of much less attractive hands to dirty around me? Plus, I have a contract with a watch company, so I technically can't get my hands dirty or I'll lose money."

"""

Finally, Cody teleported in, squinted through the rain, and saw Justin reaching a hand out to help him up. "This is nuts" Cody shouted over the rain. "We need to capture this quick before this whole base is under water." Justin nodded and acted like he was ready to jump on the point, but he stopped and let Cody start the capture first. The capture was indeed beginning, much to the girl's surprise, but Courtney was on top of it. She spawned and ran out to her roost, not bothering with the drapes to keep it dry, and heat-vision-scoped out the intruder.

"Bang!" Courtney cried. She killed Cody, then with her semi-automatic gun aimed again and took out Justin as well. He fell onto his back and laid still with his rocket launcher at his side. "Wow" Courtney noted, "he's even hot through a scope..."

* * *

"""

"I had this in the bag" Owen smoothly said. "I Eva might have the better weapon and strength in general, but I had the most important force backing me in the world. And that thing was this: Chicken wings. I found some in the base earlier and totally pigged out on them! Ah, it was awesome! Oh, and friends, I guess" he finished with a shrug."

"""

Owen glared at the breaking metal wall and awaited Eva to come out with a heated glare. He felt like he could take on the world, and Eva was a good substitute for the whole world right now. Finally, the wall toppled over, and Owen opened fire. "Oh, crud!" he shouted. Eva was invulnerable and had her shotgun out. Trent was in equal shock, as Katie and Sadie were nowhere to be seen and Owen was getting mowed down by an invincible force.

Fortunately, Noah had a plan. "Come on, stupid ubercharge" he said, watching from his high spot. Owen was just about dead, thanks to Owen's quick retreat and Eva's mercy of using her shotgun instead of her gatling gun. Cody's intact turret was shooting in an odd pattern at Eva and Bridgette, who were now vulnerable, but it wasn't hitting them. "Come on, Owen. Run back to start!"

"Hang on, buddy!" Trent shouted. Eva, with her animosity and keen senses, heard Trent's battle cry and whipped out her gatling gun to fire in the area she heard him. Unfortunately for her, she aimed a good bit to the right of where Trent really was and was firing into open air. Trent was able to see the muzzle fire from her gun and got two good shots in before she fell from Owen's shotgun to her back.

"Booyah!" Owen shouted. "Nice cover, dude!" Trent pumped his arm in cheer, but was quickly subject to a ducking battle. Rockets whizzed just barely over him from the tunnel, as fired by Sadie and assisted by Katie. Trent kept his head down and started rolling away as the girls were approaching him fast. Owen showed up and started blind firing at the cave entrance. He could see, very vaguely, the shapes and shadows against the still simmering coals, but not close enough to fire on accurately.

"Eh" Noah grunted, "this'll do." He picked up his controller and started up another turret he had in place. This one was filled with normal rounds, but fired like a semi-automatic, so he had to manually aim it using the stick. He started shooting at Katie from behind, which distracted Sadie in front, allowing Owen to fire on them both uninterrupted. However, that's when Bridgette, who fell into one of the holes in the radar dish when she was chasing Eva, leaped out with her syringe gun and started firing at Owen's back. The morphine overload killed him, and but the distraction he created for the duo also let Trent regain higher and more covered ground. With it, he took out Bridgette with a shot of faith.

"""

"This is crazy!" Trent shouted. "It's just never-ending panic and chaos! Now I know how my cousin felt when he had to go to war!"

"""

"You aren't making this very easy" Noah said to his finicky turret. He decided to switch turrets to the damaged grenade-lobbing one and fired a few explosives at the girls. They were then forced to retreat while the boys regathered their forces back at base.

Meanwhile, under the cooling cover of rain, Justin was still alive and formulating a plan. He took his rocket launcher in hand, pointed it out to his side, and looked over. Even in the dense rain, he could see the water spilling over the side of the dam. Lightning crackled, sending a shock up Katie and Sadie's spines, and shorting out the equipment in Courtney's base. Courtney had to turn away from her thermal stealth spot and go to the computer room. Everything was blacked out, and one of the machines reset itself and was smoking.

"Holy crap!" Courtney yelled. She rushed downstairs to find a bucket, then to the sewer exit to get a scoop of water. Justin took the chance at shooting, unaware that Courtney was gone, and fired at the top of the dam!

"What's going on!?" Katie shouted.

"I don't know!" Sadie answered in fear. "Let's get inside, quick!" A distant explosion was heard. The concrete of the dam was already cracking from the shot Justin had taken. He knew it was now or never to enact his on-the-spot strategy. He would blow up the dam and hope the water didn't slam him into the wall so hard that he couldn't swim back and capture the point.

"Wait a sec" Courtney told herself. She stood in the room with a now flaming 70s style computer with her bucket of rain water in hand and ready to throw, but she felt overly cautious for some reason. "I don't think I'm supposed to use water in the event of an electric fire..."

"Courtney!" Sadie shouted, letting herself into the room. "Ohmigosh, Katie! FIRE!"

"AAAAHHH!!" Katie shrieked. "Put it out!"

"Just blow it up!" Courtney ordered. "Smother the fire with an explosion." Sadie picked up her gun in a panic and stepped back. She stepped back a bit too far, however, and was holding her gun the wrong way as well. She accidentally fired out the window and into Courtney's roost tarp. The result was that her rocket was sent into a chaotic spiral towards the damn, as the tarp covered part of the rocket's propulsion and messed up the trajectory. The rocket impacted with the dam, and everything else went muted as the loud cracks in the concrete sounded out like thunder. The girls stood in shock and awe, while Justin made a strained effort to cautiously smile.

"""

"I" Courtney shivered in anger, "am going to kill her..."

"""

* * *

The dam was burst! The pond at the bottom was quickly transformed into a lake, as the rush of water came barreling over the top and into the base. Justin crawled to the control point and latched his fingers tightly on its edge. The capture technically began, and he held his breath as the water came at him.

"That sneaky jerk!" Courtney shouted. She went over to her roost, aimed at Justin, and then fell to the floor. The water hit the side of the base and flooded in through the sewer entrance so fast that it shook the whole canyon."

"That's new" Noah pointed out. He flipped a switch to gain control of the PA system and pressed the talk button. "Blue team, inside the base! Now!" The boys were already on their way, as they didn't want to find out what that sound was anytime soon. The metal doors that sealed off the territories kept the water trapped inside only the two points, leaving the teams the only waterlogged competitors on the map.

True to his strength of beauty, Justin was able to hold on desperately to capture the point. The water tried hard to push him away, but he was fast attached to the point. That's when Eva, in her brawny muscularity, came swimming over in an overturned locker with her shotgun handy. She wasted no time in overcoming to current and came upon Justin under the water. He looked up in astonishment as he stared down the barrel of a gun.

"Say your prayers, pretty boy!" Eva seethed. Justin still had one desperate trick up his sleeve. He smiled his dashing smile at the girl, attempting to sway her heart like he was able to sway any other heart. Just a partial second left, and Eva ended the countdown. He state of mind was too powerful for Justin to overcome at that moment, as all she wanted was to win and nothing else. Therefore, she decided to ride the locker out to victory as the waters swept into the caves and out into the radar dish base!

"Alright!" Courtney cheered. "Go Eva!"

"You're coming too!" Eva shouted. Courtney didn't see how, but she didn't want to disappoint now that the game was nearly their's for the taking. She jumped down into the raging waters, let herself fly down into the flooding caves, and treaded through to the opened exit behind Eva. The Blue base was deserted, mostly, but the tactics that each team had used left either side with only one minute left to win.

"We're close" Noah said. "We're really close. Just one more second and we would have won, and that won't go away soon. If we can break through to their base just long enough, we can win!"

"Well, my teleporter's out" Cody said, "so that's a no go."

"Trent" Noah ordered, "how fast can you run out there?"

"Fast enough" he responded. A quiet alarm came from the computer room, one that meant the perimeter had been breached.

"Oh, crap" Noah said. "We've got a break in. Two of them."

"I got it" Owen said.

"Trent" Noah called again, "you and Owen take care of it. Cody, you and I will go to the base and capture it."

"Yes sir!" Cody sounded. The boys split up, meeting the girls outside under the heavy rain. It was Eva and Courtney, two MVPs, against Trent and Owen, two normal Ps. The fire-fight was deemed a simple distraction for Eva and Courtney, who didn't break their gait and kept heading straight to the control tower. However, Cody's turret was still up and partially running. It shot at Courtney and forced her away while Eva hugged the wall and continued to shoot at Owen. Trent was able to get a clean headshot on her, which decommissioned her from the battle field, but Owen too was capped by Courtney. It was now a sniping battle.

"I got this" Trent said as he reloaded. However, he was unaware of an MVPs powers with a rifle, and Courtney only had to aim at him with her semi-automatic, clip-fed gun and fire. The match was hers for the taking. Meanwhile, Noah and Cody were swept away by the flood waters and were forced back to their own base where Courtney was holed up in their control point after taking out Cody's turret. As the rain lessened at last and the air was partially clear again, the winner was clear. MVP Courtney got the capture for the win, and the Red team was to advance while the Blues were to fall back to the base proper.

"Minor setback" Noah declared.

"We'll get them next time" Cody reaffirmed.

"""

"What a great match!" Katie said.

"Oh, I agree" Sadie agreed. "We totally kicked those boy's butts!"

"""

"Just goes to show you" Noah said shamelessly, "you can't always predict the rules in this kind of game. Sometimes you understand what's happening, and sometimes you don't. Actually, most of the time you don't but it doesn't matter. Defense is my specialty, and I won't lose no matter how many MVP's the enemy has."

"""

"It's a good day to die" Eva said, "but a great day to kill!"

"""

"I hope we at least get a break" Owen said. "All this moisture and running around is giving me a virtual fungus. See?" The camera cut out just before Owen could lift his foot up to it. That was the match, Red for the win.

* * *

Red has won this match and pushed the Blues back into their base proper, the final area of Hydro they needed to take. Will Noah's defense work out at last, allowing the Blue team to prevail in a time-out victory? Or will Courtney and Eva lead the girls to another underdog victory? Those questions will have to wait, because now that the sun is cleared and the rain has stopped, the Blue girls and Red guys will be having it out! Can Lindsay and Tyler focus more on killing each other this time, or will we get more romantic action on film? How will Harold handle Izzy, and what plan does Heather have to steal the MVP title? Find out next week as we continue the Hydro map here on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	23. Hydro 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The Red team girls have powered their way to the first victory of the game. Now the Blue boys will be pushed back to the base proper and be expected to defend. If they can hold out and prevent another capture, they will get the point and tie the game. However, before that happens, the next match awaits. Chris and Hatchet in the VIP box switched off the rain, drained the new lake, fixed the virtual dam and set the newest surprise on the map all in a few keystrokes.

"Huh huh!" Chris chuckled. "This one's gonna be good!" Let's take his word for it and watch the next Red versus Blue match, boys and girls! On the Red team, Duncan leads the boys, and on the Blue team Izzy leads the girls! It's going to be a brawl of the criminal and the insane!

* * *

"Izzy!" Gwen shouted from the steam room. "What's up?" Izzy had raced to the wired window not long before to watch the rain following some distant explosions. She was now looking at the nearly invisible drizzle that came from the blue sky.

"I think the sky's broken" Izzy called back.

"What?" Gwen responded curiously.

"Just leave it, girl" Leshawna instructed. "She's obviously tripping it big time."

"No" Beth said, "I think she's on to something. Look." Beth pointed to the edge of the steam line where some sun light could be seen making the door from the room glow. "Let's check it out."

"Have fun" Heather offered. "I'll stay here and stretch..." The girls left Heather there to stretch her back muscles by lying on her stomach.

"""

"That lazy little punk" Leshawna angrily began "is about to get a decent wake-up call from the back-side of my hand! If she doesn't pull her weight in this match, she's getting a face full of mud, and I ain't talkin' 'bout no spa day!"

"""

"Look!" Izzy said. It was indeed sunny, and a sparkling mist of light rain was falling down. It was more of an after rain that came from a huge storm, like the one earlier, and the rain just bounced off of all the saturated ground and concrete. "The rain must have let up. Let's get out there and check things out!"

"Uh, are you sure?" Gwen said uncertainly.

"Of course I'm sure!" Izzy shot back. "And besides, I'm the commander here right now!"

"Since when?" Leshawna asked. "We never elected you. I should lead us."

"Well," Izzy humbly began, "I _did_ escape the RCMP more than once, and I _do_ technically have military training. And besides that, I have the flamethrower. So I'm in charge!" Leshawna couldn't argue with that kind of reason, crazy or not. "Gwen, stay on me. Leshawna, put some sticky's on the point. Beth, stay behind me. Lindsay, scout up ahead. And can someone tell Heather it's her job to guard the point here?"

"I'll do it" Leshawna offered, loading up her grenade gun. She stepped back into the steamy room while the girls stepped outside. The soft rain hit their skin and sunk right into their dried pores.

"Ooohhh!" Lindsay shivered. "It's never a good idea to take a cold shower right after a steam!"

"Tough it up, soldier" Izzy ordered. "Now, go!"

"Go where?" Gwen demanded. The entrances were still all sealed off. The water below the proper control point was overflowed and seeping in through the improperly sealed sewage gate. A coal truck was teetering on the bank and looked like a good hit would totally collapse it. "We can't go anywhere!"

"Now, now" Izzy said, patting Gwen's shoulder, "you just let commander Escope handle that."

"Escope?" Gwen repeated.

"She's changing her name when she gets the money" Beth explained. "To Kaleidescope." Gwen just had a perverse look of odd frustration on her face and didn't notice that Izzy had already sped away for the biggest gate right in front of the control point on the bridge. She tapped on it with her fist, then hammered it with the butt of her shotgun.

"It's hollow" Izzy finally figured. "I'm assuming there's a long tunnel running from here to the next base."

"Good guess, Einstein" Gwen growled.

"Hey!" Heather called from the right. She was standing on the tin roofing of the girl's base that led from a window to another closed hole in the wall. "Can someone call off Leshawna? She woke me up with grenades and now I can't hear!" Izzy hand-signed instructions to Heather, who read them like she read Egyptian, which was not at all. "What!?" Heather shouted. Leshawna came up from behind and pushed her down into the sludgy water below.

"Ha!" Leshawna laughed. "That's for being such an uppity little pain in my butt!"

"Leshawna!" Izzy called. "Look to your right!" Leshawna looked around in that general direction, and saw the obvious mis-colored covering in the wall.

"What is that?" Leshawna asked. "It looks like another entrance."

"Cool" Izzy told herself, stroking her chin with a gun-finger hand. "We now know all the entrances and exits to use!"

"Not all of them" Gwen pointed out. "There could be a lot more we aren't seeing here."

"No, no," Izzy patronized, reaching up her hand to pat Gwen's head. Gwen caught her hand and twisted it though, and Izzy cringed before backing off politely. "I'm just trying to scope the entrances from this door here" she said pointing behind her at the car-sized door. "They should all be in the same area, given that those over there lead in different directions and ascensions." The other two, one now flooded in water and the other arcing up around the cliff wall, obviously lead elsewhere.

"Now I have a plan" Izzy continued, "in case of an attack from anywhere..." Heather angrily climbed up onto the control point, wrung the dingy water from her hair and glared down her team mates. "Heather, you still stay here and defend. Leshawna will still cover the base and Gwen and I will take on the offensive!"

"What about me?" Beth asked.

"I'll give you the option of going with us or staying to defend" Izzy said. "You choose. Lindsay, you're the first and primary offense. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" she saluted. The girls were planned and ready for the start of the match!

* * *

But what about the boys?

They were sleeping off the storm. Duncan slept on the cold, metal control point, Geoff slept in the chair in the small cubicle room, DJ slept on the floor level, Harold slept against the sliding metal door that led outside, Tyler slept against the other metal door that led into a partially flooded area near the dam, and Ezekiel half-slept inside the base proper on the locker room bench. It was all far too peaceful for a war-based reality show, at least so thought Chris in central command.

"Aww" he cooed. "Look at 'em. Sleeping so sweetly, like babies. It's almost a shame I have to break this wonderful scene of brotherly trust and harmony up, isn't it?" With a snide exclamation, he pressed the button bordered by yellow and black stripes. Suddenly the two fields were connected via a long tunnel and road, as well as the air duct on the upper story of the Red base. A klaxon alarm blared wildly, jumping all the boys off the ground with a cartoonish startle! Duncan was the first to land on his feet and collect his bearing, but not before he wildly fired everywhere in a panic.

"Ah! They're here!" he screamed. Geoff ran out with his bazooka and fired randomly as well. Harold rolled outside into a narrow alley separating their base entrance and a vanished chain fence.

"HEY!" Harold shouted. Everyone turned to him in attention. "The game started! The gates are open!"

"Ah, crud!" Tyler said, snapping his fingers. "Don't worry, I got this!" He picked up his gun and sprinted outside. Harold jogged after him and they both went towards the wide open tunnel.

"Okay, they got that" Duncan said to his gathered team, "so let's get this. We don't know who we're fighting exactly, but we think it's the Blue team's girls. If anything, Izzy's our problem, but I already know how to beat her."

"A fire extinguisher?" Geoff answered. Duncan gave him a cold stare for a second, then shrugged his idiotic interjection off.

"Range" Duncan said. "We can easily fight her off if we stay out of her range! Zeke, this is important. Build a turret on the control point. If you can't, build it somewhere nearby that guards all the stairs."

"Yes sir" Zeke said. He looked around, carefully plotting and mentally picturing the best spot. DJ and Geoff teamed up prematurely and headed outside. Duncan spread sticky grenades on the point and then headed out as well.

"You're in charge for now, dude" Duncan called as he jumped down and ran off. "Don't give 'em an inch!"

"""

"I feel like the guys appreciate me more, eh?" Zeke said. "Trusting me far enough to guard the base alone, it feels good. And now that I know there aren't any girls on our team in this match, I can't be fooled by Heather's tricks again!"

"""

"What's up?" Duncan asked, rejoining Geoff and DJ.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Tyler shouted. He came bolting out of the tunnel surrounded by flames. Down the curving stretch with a stream of healing waves at her back was Izzy, who glared up with menace and evil at the boys ahead of her.

"Oh...crap" Duncan sighed.

"It's okay" DJ whispered. "We saw Harold sneak past her. He can handle the rest on his own!"

"Okay" Duncan said. Then something caught his attention. A strange, military-green digital camouflage box floated and spun like the ammo and health power up in the middle of the tunnel, right in front of Izzy.

" _Attention, competitors!_" Chris announced. "_Introducing one of the few changes we have implemented for this stretch of the fight! You've seen environmental hazards such as rain and flooding, now meet the more military end of the spectrum: Class Grenades!!!_" Duncan was taken aback by the announcement and he gazed down with horror as Izzy stepped into and somehow absorbed the power up. A belt of three strange, orange globes appeared and wrapped around her waist. She picked one out, tossed it in her hand, and glared down a target.

"Oh...dude...!" Duncan shivered.

"""

"I knew what was gonna happen, man" Duncan admitted. "I really knew it. First off, 'Class' implies 'specific', and grenades are ranged weapons. This is not good. Not good at all!"

"""

So Izzy threw a grenade and it exploded into a fiery blast that hit everyone! Geoff was the one to get hit by the actual grenade and burned almost instantly. DJ was able to heal Duncan and get rid of the flames as they retreated, but Izzy's shotgun overwhelmed him from afar.

"Oh, Duuuuun-caaaaan" Izzy called manically. "Come out and plaaa-eeee-aaaayy!!!" She came sprinting over the edge of the tunnel as Duncan ducked into the alley and his base. She rounded the corner and threw at him, missing initially.

"Okay" Tyler sternly growled, "now I'm back!" He was hit by the fire ball, just after recovering from his previous burns, and sulked quickly back into the recovery room.

"This is too easy!!!" Izzy shouted.

"Good thing we got those grenades, right?" Gwen said.

"Yeah, but I only have one left!" Izzy said in distress. "I need to save this carefully. If I use it, the box might spawn again and those boys could get it."

"Are you implying something here, Izzy?" Gwen asked nervously.

"These things are new" Izzy seriously explained, holding one up as an example, "and thusly we don't know how to plan around or with them yet. Our only chance at victory is to control these new and unique game elements! That way, we can control each team's biggest weakness, which are these grenades, and control the game!"

As Izzy's plan was formulated and announced, DJ and Geoff came back to life together and let the metal doors of their base shutter up. Izzy tried to throw her last orange bomb at them, but the invisible barrier that protected them from most attacks in their own safe base made the ball bounce off, hit her, and incinerated her almost instantly. Gwen was already around the corner and still running.

"""

"As crazy as she is" Gwen admitted, "Izzy must have some sort of computer brain. I mean, she obviously can't keep up with it most of the time, but it's usually right on about the game and how to play it. It's kinda...scary how good at this she is!"

"""

"Control the grenades" Gwen told herself, "to control the game!" Geoff and DJ pursued her and blew her up with two more rockets before she could get into the tunnel.

"Let's get those grenades!" Geoff declared.

"I'm right behind you, man!" DJ announced.

* * *

"How dull" Heather complained, picking at her nails with her knife. "I get stuck on guard duty with you, of all people, and our only adversary so far was Harold..." She and leshawna were both equally irked because the girls made the effort to hide all their efforts as discretely as possible. Leshawna even used pieces of coal to stick her mines to, as they bounced in the water around the point and proved fatal even without the target touching them. That and, of all people, Harold came in as Heather.

"It's not like I'm enjoying this anymore than you, princess" Leshawna pointed out from her toll booth protection. Heather hid behind the dump truck with a small mirror set up to look behind her. She kept a steady eye on her reflector so she could easily stop threats before Leshawna could.

"""

"With my ingenuity" Heather said, "I will be a shoo-in for the MVP. I mean, who else but a genius would think of using a mirror to get a view from behind?"

"""

From the base came Lindsay, Izzy and Gwen, all at once. "Spread out now!" Izzy ordered. She ran full force with Gwen behind and Lindsay cycling back through the base and into the vent above.

"What's up?" Leshawna called.

"Nothing!" Gwen responded. "Keep it up, girl!" Leshawna gave a thumb up and a smile, but as the girls disappeared she lost the smile and gained some worry.

"BETH!" Lindsay screamed into the open vent. "Do you need help!?"

"No" echoed Beth's faint voice. "I'm fine!"

"Okay" Lindsay called. "I'm going to help guard with Izzy and Gwen. If you start capturing, just go 'prawn' like Izzy said and you'll be fine!" Of course she meant prone, which was lying on one's stomach to reduce an area that can be hit by enemy projectiles. Izzy's military mind gave the girls a lot of insight into the advanced tactics she knew form her claimed army days, and Beth wanted to take it all to heart.

"""

"It's my mission to sneak through the unseen entrance" Beth explained dramatically, "and fire on the Red's defenses from their blind spot. That will allow Izzy and Gwen to stay on the point long enough to capture it and end the game. With my help and Lindsay's, we could get the base in a few seconds! I'm so excited, this plan's gonna rock!" Of course, she became less dramatic and serious as she went on.

"""

Beth arrived at the obvious opening inside the boy's base. Zeke already had his full turret up and running, but it was in a blind area. Beth could see it, but it couldn't see her as it was built too far away. She had the advantage of surprise, so she pulled out her rocket and aimed carefully.

"Hey there" Duncan greeted. He knelt down at the larger, floor-level entrance and glared down the metal tunnel at the aiming Beth. "Where's this thing go?"

"Oh..." Beth started nervously, "nowhere special!"

"Really?" Duncan asked. He opened fire with his normal grenade gun and blew Beth up. Her part was impeded now. "I'm not giving you girls an inch, got that!?"

"How'm I doing, boss?" Zeke shouted.

"Just great" Duncan replied. "Keep your turret up and running, and make sure you fire with it at anyone who tries to capture the base!"

"Got it!" he saluted. The defense was set, Duncan's sticky's were still armed, and now a new route was open. He rushed through from his base to theirs and peeked out from the open wall at the partially guarded base. He saw Heather relaxing behind a tipping truck and some colorful sticky mines in the water. "Oh, too easy" Duncan said, cocking and loading his grenade gun.

At the center of the tunnel, where Geoff's raw force was overpowered by a quick burst of stored up ubercharged pyromania, Izzy and Gwen dutifuly stood gazing ahead. "Now what?" Gwen asked. Izzy just stood, glaring ahead like a soldier up the incline, right where the box spawned before.

"We wait..." Izzy said. "We wait and pray..." The overdramatic tension of the moment was broken as Lindsay rushed into frame and tripped over herself at Izzy's feet.

"I'm a'kay" Lindsay muttered into the ground. Now the match was truly afoot!!!


	24. Hydro 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Now or never" Duncan told himself. He loaded his gun, switched to regular grenades, and started stealthily firing them at the dump truck that Heather hid behind. They bounced from the top of the pile back behind it. One explosion, then another, and by the third the ground was blown apart just enough that the truck was dropped right into the pool beside it.

"Woah!" Leshawna shouted from her cover. Now her window was splashed with dirty water and she could barely see. Not only that, but the waves coming from the truck sent her sticky grenades all around, leaving the point mostly unguarded again. Heather was nowhere in sight, and by the fourth grenade Duncan was confident that she was finished.

"Was that it?" Duncan asked himself, almost disappointed. "That was sad. I was expecting some awesome guerrilla tactics or something. I guess I'm just overestimating Izzy." Duncan looked back down at the dirty, muddy and algae filled water and saw, out of the still coming ripples and waves, a bulge sticking out. Heather's head stuck out of the water like a hippo's then her arm shot up with a gun held and started sooting. Duncan was shot once by the revolver, then another shot missed and the barrel was empty.

"Oh, _there_ you are, Duncan!" Heather said faking her enthusiastic excitement. "I was wondering when you'd do something. Boy, you sure are a sneaky one! If I hadn't seen you before you started shooting at me, I might be dead! Oh well..." Heather reloaded her gun and began shooting with a menacing smile on her face. It seemed that Izzy's influence as leader had rubbed off on her team. Duncan dodged the bullets as best he could, then ducked into the upper parts of the girl's base.

"Nice one" Leshawna called to Heather. Heather saluted with her gun and reloaded again, staying just above the water level.

"""

"Okay" Leshawna began, "I know I talk a lot of smack about the girl, but that was straight up amazing! I was almost convinced she was serious with that evil smile, too. Nice touch."

"""

"You wanna help?" Heather asked, trying not to sound too skeptical. Leshawna obliged on her hint and ducked out barely enough to start firing. First, she detonated her sticky grenades, which made a huge flume of water that distracted Duncan, then she started firing into the windows.

"Ah, man" Duncan said, hiding under the window. "Who'd have though theses two would be a good team!?"

Still in the tunnel, Izzy and her partners Gwen and Lindsay were dutifully guarding the middle to ensure no one but they would get the grenades that spawned. Gwen was sitting down, still healing Izzy of course, and Lindsay was playing with her hair. Izzy stayed the same, as a diligent statue glaring up the slope in preparation for a firefight.

"You know we're on a time limit, right?" Gwen asked. There was no response, not even physically, so she sighed and slouched a little more on the ground.

"Hey, I've got a question" Lindsay said, trying to bring conversation to the very stern and solid state of Izzy. "How do they get the little plastic toys in the cereal boxes?"

"In packaging" Gwen answered quickly. She didn't want the thoughtful silence to be lifted as much as Lindsay did, so Lindsay just groaned uncomfortably and went back to twirling her hair.

"Are those two okay back there?" Lindsay asked, referencing the obvious and very loud explosions they had heard just before and the explosions and gunshots that continued.

"Ah, they're fine" Gwen said, waving her hand. "Heather's a pretty decent shot and a dirty trickster to boot. Leshawna can handle her."

"Uh..." Lindsay again grunted. Suddenly, with no waring, the box was back and just a foot in front of Izzy.

"Izzy, the box!" Gwen shouted. Izzy, stuck in her comatose state of guard, had to shake her head violently and dizzy herself to get active again. Once off the floor, she smiled with an open mouth at the box she had waited so long for.

"YES!" she shouted in victory. Suddenly the box disappeared. "NO!" she shouted just the same. "Wait, what the hell!?" Coming back into view from his stealthy cloaking run was Harold, who stepped into the box by accident and acquired its powers. Izzy was angry, gritting her teeth demoniacally and holding up her flamethrower. Harold could only grit his teeth in fear and use every once of his mental power to withhold his pants from getting wet.

"""

"I only had two options I could see" Harold explained. "One: Get fried without defending myself. Two: Get fried while using my newly found powers..." then he sighed in defeat.

"""

So Harold picked out one of the grenades on his chest strap, pulled the pin and threw it...at Izzy. It bounced off her face and exploded in white, opaque smoke. The spy class grenades are smoke bombs! Under the cover of the smoke, Harold stumbled around until he found his way back to his base. With two grenades still on his belt, he strategized on the run. Izzy and her girls, meanwhile, coughed and struggled to see anything again

"RAGH!" Izzy growled. She started flaming randomly, hoping to hit something and find her way around. She eventually berserked right out of the smoke screen, followed by Gwen and then Lindsay. The smoke lasted for nearly five seconds, which as more than enough time for Harold to disappear and steam to build in Izzy's swim suit. "Grrrr...."

"Um" Lindsay nervously began as Izzy continued to growl, "should we wait here or go back with Heather and Leshawna now?"

"Gwen, how's your ubercharge!?" Izzy shouted.

"It' full" Gwen said.

"Then let's go!!!" Izzy commanded. "Lindsay you stay." So Izzy and Gwen teamed up and went running up the slope for the boy's base. Lindsay stayed behind, heard some odd blasts on either side of her, and hoped something positive would happen soon.

"""

"I'm not sad" Lindsay said, "because I've got something great to cheer me up: a boyfriend!...Oh, wait, I have to kill him on sight now...Nevermind..."

"""

* * *

At the boy's base, Izzy and Gwen ubered and charged in, then ran to the left. At the top of the stairs, facing them down, was Zeke's well placed full turret. The gatling guns pushed them Izzy back a bit, but she somehow overcame the force and managed to scale the stairs entirely. However, that's when the charge started to wear off and both girls were forced to duck for cover in a small cubicle-type room at the top of the stairs.

"Shoot!" Izzy exclaimed. "We were close! If only we could get closer, we'd be _so_ close!"

"We can wait for another charge" Gwen said, "or you can jump out and damage it occasionally to get damaged. That'll build it up faster."

"Yes" Izzy agreed. "But I only have so much ammo. Where's Ezekiel at?" Ezekiel was taking cover in behind his turret and between his dispenser, picking his nose so the girls wouldn't see him from their position.

"""

"I'm actually learning a lot here, eh?" Zeke said. "Like, not everyone can handle guy stuff, like burping or farting or underwear adjustment, so I try and do it out of sight now, you know? For the girls."

"""

"What should we do?" Gwen asked. Izzy formulated a plan, an amazing plan, and ginned with emphatic, evil pride at the plan she made. Meanwhile, Tyler was alive and rushing back into the tunnel once again, but he was greeted to the sight of a rather sad girl leaning on the wall. It was Lindsay, lethargically loading and unloading her pistol.

"Lindsay?" he called softly. Lindsay, who was still under cautious orders, gasped and tried to fire her gun. However, her ammo cartridge was still in her other hand, so the gun just clicked. She panicked as she reloaded, but Tyler came in fast. "It's okay, Linds. Trust me. I'm not gonna shoot you if you don't shoot me." Lindsay looked at hi and considered throwing her gun away and getting swept into his arms, but then the picture of demon-faced, fire-headed Izzy came into her brain and she clacked her gun back together and aimed it at him again.

"I'm so, _soooo_ sorry, Tyler" she apologized in a rush, "but I seriously, totally, in-a-really-deep way like you and I know Izzy would kill me if she found out I didn't kill you."

"I get it" Tyler said/ "I'm sure Duncan would kick my butt if I didn't try to kill you too." So, he pulled out his more powerful scatter-gun and aimed it at his girlfriend's head. "You should use your gun too. It'll be more even." Lindsay put away her pistol and aimed at Tyler with her own scatter-gun as well. Both young amorous teens stared at each other down the barrel of their own guns, their eyes filling with remorse and longing. Passion started mixing in the damp air of the tunnel and the sweat and rain started to drip slowly down as their minds both flickered with paired thoughts.

"You wanna make out!?" They both asked syn chronically at last. Then they started making out...again.

"""

"Ah" Tyler sighed, "it feels good to have a great girl behind you."

"""

"He is such a good kisser!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I feel bad that we're on opposite sides, but doesn't that make it kind of like that story? About...Mario and...Julie? It's so romantic!"

"""

As Tyler and Lindsay reconciled on the concrete ground, a metal thumping and knocking was heard overhead. They both decided to ignore it until it came too close for comfort and they had to look, without breaking their lip-lock of course.

"What the-" started Duncan as he dropped from the vent. "What are you doing, dude!?" Tyler broke the kiss in a panic and got up.

"I-It, it was a combat-kiss!" he quickly lied.

"It's true!" Lindsay added. "My lips are so sore, I don't think I can get up!"

"I don't believe this" Duncan groaned, tossing a piece of smooth coal in his hand up and down. "First I gotta deal with two crazy girls, both of whom just happen to be great shots, and now you're betraying me?"

"It was an accident" Tyler pleaded. "Honestly, I fell onto her...for a while."

"I thought it was a combat-kiss" Lindsay said confusedly. Duncan circled behind her and knocked her out with the piece of coal. She didn't move, so Duncan and Tyler saw her as dead, to which Tyler became saddened.

"Trust me dude" Duncan said, "it's for the better. Now go over there and capture that unguarded point, for the team!" Through his leader's sudden encouragement, Tyler puffed out his chest vigorously and started sprinting through the tunnel. Duncan smiled proudly at him and uttered his signet of respect: "Moron."

"Hey!" Geoff shouted, coming down the tunnel with DJ. "Are we late?"

"For the attack?" Duncan asked, "No way. Just go on down and step on that plate, boys."

"Okay!" Geoff shouted emphatically. He took a few skipping steps with DK still behind him before he noticed a major flaw in Duncan's behavior. "Was Duncan standing a little girlishly to you?" He was asking a dead man, as DJ had gotten backstabbed. Before Geoff could put two-and-two together, he got backstabbed as well. Lindsay got up, rubbing her head, and looked up. There was no more Duncan, but there was Heather.

"Boys are so easy to manipulate, aren't they?" she gloated. She helped Lindsay up and threw away the team-neutral piece of coal she used. It wasn't a weapon, much like her sapper, and so it didn't count when she swung it to break her cover.

"Okay wait" Lindsay said, "I'm really, _really_ confused."

"Don't be" heather said. "Just go back and help Leshawna defend."

"But the guys-" Lindsay began.

"They won't be too much trouble" Heather explained. "Beth and Leshawna are doing a great job, but a third would really help us!" Heather's bright and cheery demeanor was more upsetting than anything to Lindsay, who knew her mood-swinging ability better than anyone else, very cautiously and cluelessly walked back to her own base to help Leshawna and Beth defend. Heather just smiled.

"""

"It's not really playing dirty if I help us win, you know" Heather said. "All I'm doing is making sure I'm the only one playing the field, even if I have to take a page from Ms. Psycho's book to do it."

"""

So Heather stealthily marched up the slope towards the base in hopes of getting her just dues by capturing the point and winning the game for her team...and for herself.

* * *

"Eat fire, pot smoker!" Izzy shouted. She used the wall to blind fire her flamethrower at Zeke's turret, which partially worked as the flames hugged the wall and traveled right into the still beeping machine. However, she did it in short bursts as she was running out of ammo and would soon resort to blind shotgun fire, which may clip at her arms.

"Give it up, eh!" Zeke proudly shouted. "No one's getting past this awesome defense of mine!"

"Oh no!?" Gwen called from the vent entrance. "How about around?" Zeke didn't know it, but Izzy's tactics were only for diversion. All the hype put on her was anticipated by the pyro queen, and she used it to make sure Gwen wouldn't get spotted as she sneaked all the way around to the other stairs and found herself behind Zeke's defense. All the while, Izzy occupied the turret's attention.

"Dang" Zeke said with gloom. Gwen fired her health-draining syringe gun all the way over, hitting Zeke and his turret and destroying them both at length. Izzy came back out, collected the broken parts for ammo, and approached the point .Suddenly, an explosion at the point and a cloud of white smoke!

"I shall not let my comrade's efforts be in vain!" Harold cried out into the base. "Izzy, I challenge you to a duel!" So he came through the smoke, knife in hand and pointed at Izzy. The choices were simple for her, but she refused to budge in making one before he did.

"If it's a duel" she offered, "then make it one. Cloud the entrance so no one can get in and interrupt us."

"Fine" Harold obliged. He tossed his last grenade down to the ground level entrance and let the cloud puff up. Immediately, the knife-ax fight was on with Harold at the advantage. Izzy was forced back and guarding while Harold thrusted and stabbed wildly.

"You've become stronger" Izzy noted. She then parried him and pushed him back, then started swinging with just as much rapier precision and power with her ax. "How? Did you get access to some weird, cartoony 'Eight-Second Super-Strength'? Huh!?"

"This strength comes form my heart!" Harold said. Izzy would have cracked a smile if her mind weren't in the state of super-psychotic killing that it was, so she kept on fighting. Their blades met many times and a dangerous game of deflect-or-die was at hand. First Harold pushed Izzy's attack, then Izzy did the same. All the while, the clock continued to run.

"_One minute warning!" _Chris announced. _"I repeat:This is the official 55 second warning! 54. 53. 52..._" The announcement over, Gwen decided to act. However, she wasn't alone, as Duncan was back from the dead and decided to act as well.

"""

"Chips were down and falling" Gwen said. "If I didn't do something quick, we would have had to do this all again. And trust me, listening to Heather gripe nonstop about rain is more than enough to drive you to painkillers." So she shot herself with a heavy morphine-laden syringe from her gun and moaned with pleasure. "Oh yeah..."

"""

"I don't think so" Duncan said, charging into his base. He ignored the duel going on in favor of stopping Gwen in her tracks with sticky grenades. It worked, partially. He covered the point with his grenades, but Gwen still had a full clip or two of syringe ammo.

"Who's stopping me? You?" Gwen taunted.

"Nothing personal" Duncan shouted "but you don't have the guts to face me man-to-man...woman!"

"Oh really?" Gwen hummed. She drew out her menacing, jagged bone saw and dropped on down. Duncan pulled out his...broken bottle, then ditched it for his regular switchblade knife. "Where was that at?" Gwen asked, noting that everyone was still in their swim-wear. Duncan didn't answer her, he just charged in to fight. While the Red base was abuzz with random melee fighting, the other team members were either duking it out in the tunnel or at the girl's base. It seemed like a one-way fight until Heather came through the vent access.

"Unacceptable" she uttered. She dropped down to the platform, avoided the single-minded Izzy and Harold, and went for the point. Suddenly, some explosions were heard and Lindsay came bolting into the room and up the stairs, one of which she tripped over and wanged her head fairly hard.

"OUCH!" she exclaimed.

"Lindsay!" Heather called. "Get on the point!"

"Okay" she answered. She was also wearing a sash of pipe-bomb grenades. It seems she picked them up before the match was over as she ran for her life from the tunnel with DJ and Geoff chasing after her. Soon, Beth was united in the room as well, and Heather's original alliance from the first season was ready to unite their steps into one for the win!

"""

"I feel really good about leading" Izzy proclaimed. "It gives you a great sense of confidence, you know, having everyone obeying your orders and stuff. It's cool!"

"""

"Don't step on that point!" Izzy hissed. Lindsay and Beth backed off instantly, but Heather went for it anyway. It was do or die time now. However, with only Leshawna guarding the point and many others loose on the field, the girls were getting out-captured by Tyler at their base!

"Oh crap!" Gwen exclaimed.

"End of the road, sister!" Duncan taunted. "Looks like we win!"

"GAH!" Harold screamed. He hit the floor headfirst and died. His duel was over, and Izzy was now capturing with Heather.

"STEP ON IT!" Izzy commanded. Lindsay and Beth put their feet back in and turbo-charged the speed of their capture. But, it was close! Could they catch up with Tyler's progress in the end?

* * *

The answer is yes. Blue Team Capture!!!

"Aw, no!" Duncan shouted desperately.

"Oh, yes" Gwen answered, then lopped his head off with a single swing. Lindsay and Beth and Heather and Izzy were all caught up in a joyous jumping-hug circle. The boys were distraught, especially Tyler, and they hung their heads in shame.

"Hooray for us!" Lindsay shouted.

"Yeah!" Heather added, "Hooray for me!"

"RAAAAWWRRRR!!!" Izzy roared. She sprayed maniacally into the air with her flamethrower in celebration. "We kick ass!!!!!"

"We sure do" Gwen agreed. "Where do we go next?"

"_It's breaky time!"_ Chris announced. "_While we set up for your next match, the boys will stage their last stand against the Red team girls at the main base!"_

"You mean they lost!?" Gwen shouted in disbelief. "How? They have Noah!"

"_Yeah"_ Chris said, _"but he lost. Now it all comes down to this. If the Red girls capture the base, it will be two points Red and one point Blue! And if we end in a tie game, we're going to the judging ring. And trust me, Red's ahead just because of the girls and maybe Harold."_

"Go Harold!" Izzy cheered. Heather hit her upside the head for praising an enemy soldier.

"_While they fight," _Chris continued, "_you guys get to sit out for a while and rest. Next match, Blue girls will be attacking Red guys at their own base. If the Blue boys can hold out their defenses for seven-and-a-half minutes, they'll win and stop the Red team from getting another point! Also, if the Blue girls can dominate the Red boys at their own base, the Blue team will win! It all comes down to the defense game!"_

"Oh boy" DJ said with dread.

"What's up?" Geoff asked.

"We aren't a defense team" DJ explained. "We're gonna get smashed!"

"Not with the right attitude!" Geoff happily said. "We can do it, I know we can, and we will. I'm not gonna let a bunch of girls get the upper hand again, and neither are you!" From the glaring confidence in Geoff's eyes, DJ was able to see how serious he was about his stance and nodded with him. Geoff went on to lift the spirits of all his team mates as best he could in preparation for the next big game.

"Great job, girls" Izzy praised once all her team was gathered. "Now, let's do it all again, but this time, we're going loud!" At her cryptic command, she lowered an extending mouthpiece to a headset that was hidden in her hair. The other girls did the same and activated the six-way radio. "The 'Hive-mind' network is a go!"

* * *

Now equipped with the deadly weapon of communication, will Izzy and her girls get the extra point? Or will Geoff's unbridled confidence and happy-go-lucky attitude overcome the darkness of defeat? The Battle for Hydro will continue next week with the match between Noah's super defense strategy and Courtney's berserk newbie mind, here on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	25. Hydro 6

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The score is tied. Red team one, Blue team one. Only, in regards to these scores, the situations are totally reversed. Blue team's defense, the boys, were pushed back into their final defense for a five-minute rush of keep-away with the Red team girls. Two MVPs against only one. Would the outcome be the same? Will Eva and Courtney be able to strategically overpower Noah and his team? WE'll find out today on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!_"Is it done yet?" Noah asked, regarding the introduction that was done behind the scenes.

* * *

"I think so" Trent said. "The cameras are rolling again."

"Great" Noah said. "Alright team, this is our last stand! If we don't hold this point, it's all over for the game."

"Not really" Trent said. "Didn't you hear? The girls tied up the game!"

"Yeah" Noah began, "and chances are Izzy will win again. Therefore, if we lose here it'll all come down to the judging of players. Say what you want, but that's still a risky position to be in for all of us. Any one performance could mean the difference between victory and defeat. Besides, why wouldn't we want to win every round anyway?"

"Whoo!" Owen shouted. "That's right! Let's show these girls what we're made of!"

"Booyah!" Cody shouted with excitement. Justin and Trent cocked their guns coolly and posed back-to-back.

"Indeed" Noah said. "Still, I'm a little curious about something in particular."

"What's that?" Trent asked.

"Are we in the right base for our color?" Noah asked.

"_Yes"_ Chris answered over the speakers. _"Now, get ready. You've got about two minutes to prepare before we set loose the dogs of war!"_

"I think you got the quote wrong, Chris" Cody politely pointed out.

"It doesn't matter" Noah said. "By the way, while I have you here Chris, what's up with the weird ammo box over there?" Noah pointed behind him to a box of war rations that had never been seen before. It hovered within the huge door-frame of the base, just in front of a huge metal door.

"_Oh those?"_ Chris said. _"Why not grab 'em and find out?"_

"Are they grenades?" Noah assumed.

"""

"That's what I hate about Noah" Chris said. "He's always a step ahead of me in some way. How am I supposed to surprise theses kids if they're all onto me?"

"""

"_Yes."_ Chris answered. _"Now get moving, dudes! Less than two minutes to set up!"_ Noah used his great assumption abilities to plan ahead and pointed to the one who he needed to grab those grenades and ordered it outright.

"Trent!" Noah commanded. "Grab the box."

"Really?" Trent asked.

"If I'm right" Noah started, "a sniper's grenades should have something to do with either pin-point damage or temporary movement impairment. You'll either get concussive grenades or some kind of laser grenade. Either way, we can definitely use them for defense."

"Right-o" Trent affirmed. He ran over, touched the box, and was equipped with a belt of can-shaped grenades around his chest.

"Yup" Noah said. "Those are concussive grenades. They stun anyone in the blast radius. Just toss one and cover you ears."

"Oh, cool!" Owen exclaimed. "What kind of grenades would I get?"

"Probably basic fragmentation or something" Noah said. "I'm not entirely sure. Engineers like Cody and I will probably get junk bombs that scatter scrap metal and ammo around or can repair turrets from a range. Who knows? Right now, I want us to concentrate on holding that grenade cache every time it comes up. Who wants in on it?"

"Ooh! ME!" Owen shouted. "I'll do it."

"Good enthusiasm" Noah said. "Okay, you stand guard there and I'll build you a dispenser. Cody, set up a sentry on the point. There are five possible points of entry, and we need to watch all the ones we can."

"Yes sir" Cody saluted. "I'll build a dispenser right here so they can't jump up, too." He planted the schematic in a gap between the machines that formed a wall around the point and the ran back into the base to get more metal.

"""

"Ah, youth" Noah remarked. "It seems like only yesterday all these tough dudes were just fledging boys. Now look, soldiers all. I think I can take some well due credit for this transformation. After all, I am the benevolent general here."

"""

Trent stayed far back, propping himself up to watch the largest door, and kept a hand loose to grab a grenade when he needed one. Justin sat on top of one of the old computing servers and aimed at the vent entrance. It was an obvious way to flank around that Noah hadn't overlooked. Noah built three level one turrets overlooking every possible angle. If anyone tried to sneak in they wouldn't get far, and Justin was at the position to pivot around wherever he needed to and defend any entrance. Cody's sentry beeped and whirred from far back against the computer wall so anyone rushing in would get pushed away.

"Okay team" Noah declared, "let's show them how powerful a defense team can be!"

"Yeah!" Trent and Cody cheered.

"Oh yeah!!!" Owen growled. Justin pumped his arm as well.

"""

"Yeah baby!" Owen cheered. "I'm feeling great about this match! I hope I don't jinx us, but I don't see how the girls will be able to win at all! All our corners are covered and our base is impenetrable. Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING bad can happen." Owen sat for a moment and just enjoyed the fact that nothing was happening immediately after him saying all that.

"""

"We're ready" Noah said. "Bring them on!"

* * *

Meanwhile, with the clock back at zero, Courtney organized her team behind the closed doors of their base for their awesome attack.

"I can't see much" Bridgette said, looking out the window to scout. "What I can see is a street that leads to nowhere, a toll booth and a building off to the left. I think that building's where the base is."

"We can't be totally sure" Courtney said. "We'll just have to wait and see."

"We might not have time for that" Eva said. "We're at the disadvantage of fighting them in their own turf. They're defense and we're offense, but they'll have a bonus regarding their knowledge of the layout and stuff. We need some kind of plan in advance or we'll just get pushed back."

"Alright then" Courtney said. She sighed to get the pressure off her chest and thought for a moment. "Bridgette and Eva will pair up and go in first. Katie and Sadie will be the back up. I'll come in last and shoot through the walls. By the time they get to me, we'll have routed all their major defenses and be ready for an easy second attack!"

"I hope you're right" Eva said.

"Have I been wrong before?" Courtney rhetorically asked.

"Yes" Katie answered. Courtney threw a show at her in response.

"Our only problem is Noah" Courtney said. "However, if we can ubercharge Eva and just rush in, his turrets won't do anything and we'll be able to take them out at our leisure."

"So I'm running distraction" Eva asked. "Cool. I'll do what I can, chief."

"""

"Chief, eh?" Courtney remarked. "Yeah, I like that. I'll try and keep that from now on."

"""

"Um..." Bridgette said, "I think we need a new plan."

"Why?" Courtney asked. "What's happening?" Courtney moved to the window and looked where Bridgette was looking. The road was lifting up on big metal pistons to reveal a tunnel that led downward. Courtney was speechless to say the least, and she grinded her teeth with tight fists up at her face for a moment to express her rage.

"Okay" Courtney said, now chipper and pleasant, "here's the new plan. Bridgette and Eva will go down that huge tunnel while Katie and Sadie flank around through the building. Assuming something else weird happens, like the sky opening up and a rope dropping down, I'll try to flank around some other way. We'll overwhelm them from all sides."

"We won't go in until we hear your word" Eva said.

"Agreed" Courtney said. "Let's start with that, then. Bridgette and Katie, start healing Sadie. Sadie, start hurting yourself."

"Yes ma'am!" Sadie said. She aimed down with her rocket, waited for both girls to get healing her and started blasting.

"We won't move in until we all have ubercharges" Courtney ordered. "That way, they won't be able to hold us back at all until we've destroyed most of their defenses."

"""

"I'm really looking forward to this" Eva growled. "That Noah's gonna get his comeuppance, big time!"

"""

"_Listen up, soldiers!"_ Hatchet shouted over the speakers. _"This match starts in approximately ten seconds! Nine! Eight! About Seven now. SIX!"_

"Are we ready!?" Courtney asked. The girls were paired up properly now and they all gave a unison nod. "Then let's go!"

"_Three! Two! One! MOVE OUT!!!"_"Here we go" Noah said. The boys all tensed up and waited with bated breath for the first attacker. UP above, Eva and Bridgette anxiously rushed down the long tunnel. Katie and Sadie flanked around through the other downward ramp and tunnel to the other entrance of the base. Courtney did find the other alternative entrance, a vent in the toll booth, and slowly crawled through it.

* * *

"Your side, Justin!" Trent shouted. Katie and Sadie had been spotted by the sharp-eyed sniper, but ducked back as soon as they were seen.

"That's a lot of turrets" Katie pointed out, referring to the number of small turrets Noah set up to block their progress.

"I know" Sadie agreed. "I think we'll be able to take them out with just one shot, though. They looked small." An explosion hit at their feet, courtesy of Justin. That area was properly guarded now, and Noah continued to concentrate his energy on looking right and left at the same time. He was aware that someone was stomping down the tunnel and nudged Owen appropriately to start revving his turret. He was also aware that someone was coming through the vent. If it were Courtney, she'd have to be very swiftly taken out before she could snipe anything away.

"Trent" Noah began, "eyes on point V!" Trent rose his scope up to the vent exit and prepared to shoot whatever he could see when it came through.

"Stand back guys!" Cody called to Noah and Owen. He could see from his protected position that Eva and Bridgette were more than ready to stomp on through and Bridgette's gun crackled with uber energy ready to release. "Looks like trouble!" just then, using her wall-sniping powers, Courtney shot through the flimsy metal of the vent and sniped Cody down.

"Too easy" Courtney scoffed. "NOW!" From the vent that amplified her command, both pairs of girls ubercharged and stomped into the room, firing wildly at everything that hit them. Two of Noah's turrets went down from Sadie's rockets while Justin did his best to push them back by hitting Katie away. Owen and Noah tried to separate Eva and Bridgette by pushing Eva with bullets and Bridgette with turret rockets, but the girls stood fast together.

"Shoot" Noah exclaimed. "Trent! C on 2!"

"On it!" Trent said. The cryptic command instructed him to toss two of his vital grenades on either team of uber girls. First, he stunned Katie and Sadie, leaving them in a dizzy shock in the middle of the floor. Then, Eva and Bridgette were blinded and stunned completely. Once the ubercharges wore off on either team, they were destroyed by the combined efforts of the turrets and boy's own guns.

"""

"What the **** was THAT!?" Courtney screeched.

"""

"Phew" Trent sighed with relief. "I thought that might not work for a second. I almost lost heart. Thankfully, though, I kept my faith until the end. I guess I just need to trust my own throwing arm from now on..."

"""

"Very nice" Noah said. Just then, another bullet ripped through the metal siding and killed Justin. Courtney was still active and shooting through her cover. "Well, that's annoying. Trent! Final on V!"

"You got it" Trent said. He tossed his last grenade into the vent, which bounced off the walls slightly before landing right at Courtney's crouched feet. The glaring flash and deafening sound went off point-blank and stunned Courtney completely.

"I got this" Noah said. He cocked his shotgun and hopped into the vent. With two shots, he killed Courtney and went on his way to set up more turrets. "Now let's get set back up. We still don't know what other surprises will get the best of us."

"What are you gonna do, man?" Trent asked.

"While we have the precious little time we have" Noah said, "I'm gonna rig some traps. Mines and rocket turrets in blind spots, stuff like that. Our defense power has been cut now that Justin is gone, and as a rule the attacking team has a shorter respawning time than the defense. Trent, keep your eyes on the tunnel from now on. I'll keep the vent clear."

"Right" Trent said. He moved quickly to new cover and crouched down to peer through two computer terminals.

"Who knows how long this match will really last" Noah said with lilting dread. One minute has already passed. Two dead on the defense side and nearly everyone back to life on the attacking side. The Red girls gathered together to wait for Courtney and plan out their next attack...

* * *

Now, later in the match, with only two minutes remaining, the defense still held strong despite the continued pattern of casualties. So far, Owen was the only one who hadn't died in the match and he stood right at the edge of the door, the first one to face down Eva and Bridgette when they rounded the corner. Noah and Trent stepped out of the base to see Cody fixing all the turrets Noah had newly built in the last skirmish and Justin stacking the spare terminals against one of the entrance areas to make a wall.

"What's the word, Owen?" Noah shouted.

"No grenades yet" Owen reported. Eva and Bridgette might be coming down the other way to switch it up. I can't tell anymore. Your trap still works, though."

"Good to know" Noah said. One of his traps was an automatic firing mechanism overlooking the vent. If it saw anything in its frame of vision, it would fire whatever gun was docked into it at the time. Noah placed his own shotgun in the docking area and pulled out his wrench. Owens' continuous use of his dispenser was encouraging, but to make it truly worth using for defense he had augmented it to increase the effective healing. This augmentation required constant metal input, however, and drew from the regular scrap metal when in use.

"Just kick the blue button when you need ubercharge" Noah said. There was a large blue pad down at the base of the dispenser, just one of the augmentations Noah's MVP status allowed him to make.

"Everything's up and running, boss" Cody reported.

"Great" Noah said.

"""

"Boss, eh?" Noah noted. "It's kind of rough to me. Maybe I can talk the guys into calling me chief instead. It has a sort of commanding nature, doesn't it?"

"""

Back above ground, the girls plotted what would be their greatest attack.

"So we're agreed?" Courtney said. "I go in through the building and snipe through the wall. Sadie and Katie go down through the vent and Eva and Bridgette go down the tunnel one last time."

"Sounds good" Eva said. "Once we're all in position, we uber, I drop my gun and topple Owen to clear the room for Katie and Sadie to blast through the metal wall."

"We take out Noah and Cody first" Sadie said. "Then, we leave Justin and Trent to Courtney."

"While Owen is preoccupied wrestling with Eva," Courtney continued, "Bridgette will take the point. Katie, Sadie and I will destroy all the turrets in the room before the uber charges wear off."

"Let's go to it" Eva lowed, propping her gun up. Bridgette nodded, her charge ready. Sadie and Katie saluted and departed for the vent tunnel and Courtney went hastily toward the building entrance.

"Will this really work?" Bridgette asked Eva.

"Of course it will" Eva said. "This time we have the element of overwhelming power on our side. They can't deal with that!"

"They can try" Bridgette said, "and that's all they really have to do..." Regardless, the plan proceeded. The first to act was Courtney, taking out Trent with a through-the-wall shot. Because the terminals were placed so carefully against the wall ,Courtney had complete coverage.

"""

"My MVP sniper is amazing" Courtney said, "but with one drawback. See, I can only shoot through certain things. Metals that are thin or mostly hollow, wood, and of course other people. The problem is that I can see through anything, and can't tell what I can or can't shoot through at a distance. It can mean that I can see someone on the other side of my cover, bu they'll be behind some impenetrable cover and I'll end up wasting my shot. I wish they'd make better rounds for the gun..."

"""

Sadie and Katie were tied up with Noah's shotgun trap, as it annoyingly alerted everyone else to their presence and forced Justin to rush over and stop them in their tracks. "Darn it!" Sadie shouted. "We didn't anticipate him being as lethal as he is gorgeous!"

"A very unwise thing to do" Katie said. Justin, ni an act of beautiful brilliance, took Noah's shotgun trap off the wall and carried it with him. It automatically shot and reloaded as he shot and reloaded. By the time the girls got their act together, Katie was at half her health and unbercharge with no Sadie. Justin ran back, slammed the trap back up on the vent wall, and got sniped by the hidden Courtney.

"Let's go!" Eva growled. She and Bridgette ubercharged around the corner, getting pushed slightly by the heavy turret fire, and Eva tackled Owen. He fell over, dropping his gun in the process, and accidentally pressed the ubercharge button on the dispenser. Courtney wasted a shot on him and growled with spite.

"When will the cheating stop!?" she seethed. "And why can't these stupid bullets hit anyone worth hitting!?"

"Get some cover, Cody" Noah commanded.

"Yes, sir" Cody said. He ran for the left end of the control platform, shooting his pistol and Bridgette to distract her, and dove for cover. Courtney wasted another bullet on him, not bothering with Noah behind a dispenser as she was unaware just what it was. The ubercharge on the girls started to crackle off, and Eva finished her pouncing tactic with a headbutt, dazing Owen as he got back up.

"Oh, man!" Owen shouted. "Foul play!" Eva retrieved her shotgun and started blasting away at the turrets, small and big, that guarded the control point. Noah had to fall back into the open and got hit by Courtney as he tried to retreat. He went down, but didn't die. Instead, he stayed perfectly still and mimicked death, hoping Eva would leave him alone.

"That's pathetic" Courtney said. "I have heat vision!" She shot Noah again, and he died. With only a sliver of health left, Eva was able to destroy all the turrets blocking her path and stepped onto the point.

* * *

"_The point is contested!"_ Hatchet announced.

"Contested!?" Eva growled. "How contested can it be!?" Cody had his finger on the edge of the point, praying silently that he wouldn't get found out before help would arrive.

"""

"Okay" Cody sighed, "I''m a bit of a coward. I couldn't just face up to Eva like a man, but come on! She's, like, five times more manly than I am! What should I have done?"

"""

"I'll take care of it" Bridgette said. She stopped her healing stream on Eva and ran over to see where the weasily person was that stopped their victory. As soon as she saw Cody, however, one of Noah's rocket turrets targeted her and blasted her with a rocket. She went backwards and equipped her syringe gun to fight.

"It's that runt, isn't it?" Eva asked. "Hey Courtney! Get Cody off the point!" Courtney heard her and aimed at Cody, but she knew already the shot wouldn't work. Then she saw something in her periphery vision that caught her off guard.

"RAGH!" Owen growled. It was now he who did the jumping. Even with a dizzy and blurry vision, he could still find Eva in time to grab her and begin the daunting task of keeping the point under contest. "We...are going...to win!" he strained.

"Oh no you're not!" Eva growled. "You're in range right now!" Courtney sat back, aimed for Owen's head, and squeezed the trigger. No fire. Her gun was empty.

"Oh, sh-kh....SHOOT!" Courtney shouted. "I forgot to reload this stupid thing again!" Out of sheer luck, Cody was given the opportunity to work the odds in his team's favor even more. He ran over to the terminals that were put up and tried his hardest to push them away.

"You're not winning this match!" Cody said. He strained his puny muscles as hard as he could, nearly blowing a vein in his head, and finally managed to get one angled on its edge. He quickly put his wrench between the two machines and pulled out his pistol to open fire on Courtney. She as too fast, however, and was able to cripple him with her machine gun.

"Oh yes we are!" Courtney declared.

"No" Noah said, cocking a shotgun to her head, "you really aren't." He blasted her back to the spawning screen and helped Cody up. "Nice work, man."

"What about Owen?" Cody asked. Noah looked over at the struggle. He had already stealthily taken down Bridgette with his wrench and Justin was ready to start blasting her apart with his rockets from behind cover.

"Just let him work" Noah said. "He's as much of a guy as the rest of us. Hurting his honor would be distasteful." Owen and Eva struggled against each other, but Eva smiled as she did. She was aware that she was alone, and this fight for power lasted until the clock ticked down to zero.

"_Overtime!"_ Chris announced. _"Next person alone in the point wins the match!"_ With that ultimatum, Eva pushed herself forward. Her overwhelming strength was focused at Owen's soft core, and his was focused at her shoulders. She was being pushed back at the arms but her feet were able to move forward.

"Give it up, meatloaf" Eva growled. "It'll save your team the shame of seeing you get tossed out of the ring!"

"I'd like to see you try that" Owen said. Eva growled and lowered her grip. She as actually picking Owen up by the waist, all few hundred pounds of him! "Okay, you're doing it!" Owen was still technically in the point, and thus the clock continued to be frozen. With his team anxiously looking on, Owen's brain snapped. His eyes became monstrously spacey and his face flushed to a lush red color.

"RAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!" Owen roared. Eva was taken by surprise as Owen gripped her by the stomach and punched her square in the chest. She took a step back and let Owen crash to the ground. Then, in an act of berserk rage, Owen picked Eva up and started spinning her around like a professional wrestler. "Here comes the pitch!" Owen declared. He started spinning around in the same direction he spun Eva and tossed her full force into a computer terminal! The impact dented and broke the terminal, but it didn't force Eva out of the ring.

"""

"Holy crap!" Trent said, holding his head in shock. "Did you see those moves!? Where was Owen hiding all this strength!?"

"""

"No chick's gonna mess this up for us!" Owen announced. "Not even one as manly as you!" Eva stumbled up to her feet, having lost a good portion of her health to the attack, and tried to get herself back on the offensive. She punched, Owen caught her hand, and started spinning her around again. She was forced to run along as Owen let hr go, then circle around and run into Owen's extended arm. Now she was in dire health. She tried to get back up, but Owen got her up first.

"Just remember this next time!" Owen said, picking her up over his head again. "My boys don't lose!" Just then, unfortunately, Katie ubercharged her way past Noah's trap as Owen was preparing to heave Eva out of the ring. She was hit by Eva as Own tossed her out of the point. He stood breathing heavily, both feet inside, and let the clock count down to nothing again.

"_...uh...wow. Okay, I guess that's match" _Chris announced in disbelief._ "Point for Blue team! Congratulations!" _Owen pounded his chest and screamed into the air with triumph.

"ATTICAAAAAA!!!!" Then, in his exhaustion, Owen collapsed while the others cheered.

"That was pretty cool" Noah said. "Now we just have to wait and hope the girls can get our last point."

"And even if they don't" Cody pointed out, "thanks to Owen we'll still probably win the judging."

"Maybe" Noah said neutrally. "Maybe...

* * *

Will this stunning victory be the last nail in the Red team's coffin? Will Duncan be able to rally his troops and hold out to tie up the game? Will this be the deciding fight to get Owen the MVP, or do the Blue girls still have some interesting tricks up their sleeves? Find out next week, in one of the most dramatic matches ever! Here on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team FORTRESS!!!!!!!!!!!_


	26. Hydro 7 final

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Okay" Beth said, tapping her headset microphone. "Can you explain this Hive Mind thingy again?"

"She never explained it at all" Gwen pointed out.

"It's simple" Izzy said with a chipper smile. "It's a method of silent communication. Like sign language, but without signs!"

"...my head hurts" Lindsay whined.

"Instead of talking through your headset" Izzy began, "just use some basic, silent signals. If it's all clear, blow into it twice. If the enemy defense has tightened, tap it once. If you've been spotted, tap the mic twice."

"Tap it with what?" Gwen asked. "If we're under attack, it might be hard to get a hand free to tap it."

"Use your tongue!" Izzy said.

"Oh yeah!" Heather skeptically said. "That makes a lot of sense. Thanks, Izzy!"

"Anyway" Izzy chuckled, "if you need reinforcements, reload your gun really close to the mic, and if you're about to die, turn your mic off. They make a static clicking when they turn off."

"What do we do if we're capturing the point?" Leshawna asked.

"Immediately reload your gun at your face" Izzy said. "Gwen and I will be there post-haste!"

"Wait, what?" Gwen exclaimed.

"""

"I didn't sign up for this show to follow miss super-crazy around all the time" Gwen argued. "This better be over soon. I'm actually starting to miss Owen's backside..."

"""

"The boys don't stand a chance" Izzy growled. "With my super-genius mind and all our combined power and force, this match will be over almost immediately!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!" The girls all forced out sheepish laughs to humor their mad leader, except Heather who refused to sit near the girls at all.

"""

"I'm not letting my chances slip away" Heather said. "I will get that MVP in this match. My plan is utterly foolproof..."

"""

Back in the base proper with the huge circular capture plate, the boys were sulking in their lost hopes. Zeke had started building his turret against the computer wall. There were five definite entrances for the girls to use, three of them in the turret's immediate view. The boys were demoralized from the raiding that Izzy was leading and seemed to abandon their hope of winning already. That's when Geoff took a stand in the center of the base and began his motivational speech.

"Bros!" he began, "let's pull ourselves together here, okay? I mean, sure Izzy's tearing us a new one but come on! She's just a crazy girl with a flamethrower. Half of what she says is just random babbling, right? We can't let a psycho get us down! When the campers of Crystal Lake encounter Jason in those old movies do they just give in? No way! They fight back!"

"But they all die" Duncan noted.

"My point" Geoff continued regardless, "is that we can't just sulk around without any hope. If we're gonna sulk then let's have some actually good reasons for sulking! Like, I don't know, being away from our girlfriends too long? Being forced to fight our girlfriends? I can think of plenty of reasons to be frustrated or mad but losing at the moment isn't gonna be one of them! We need to stand up and puff out our chests, and tell those girls 'we're men, and we aren't moving for you!'"

"Yeah!" Zeke shouted bravely. "We ain't budging for a bunch of stupid girls, eh?"

"As sexist and stupid as that is" Duncan began, "I agree with you. We can't let them take an inch when we've given them miles for us to cover. All we have to do is keep them off out point. It's easy as that."

"But it isn't really that easy, is it?" DJ pointed out. "Izzy's a maniac. We can't stop her!"

"Of course we can" Duncan pointed out. "What's the one thing she doesn't have?"

"That's just it" Tyler said. "If she gets grenades, she gets range!"

"And where are the grenades?" Duncan asked.

"Over there" Harold said, pointing at the largest door. The corners of the spinning box barely peeked out through the metal of the door, just barely within reach.

"Geoff" Duncan commanded, "grab those grenades now. If Izzy gets decommissioned, her whole team will fall apart. Gentlemen, let's win us a war. Hands in!" With a loud shout the boy's morale was restored and their hands all went in with each other. Then, with a grunt, the hands went flying up and the boys got in position.

"_Match starts in one minute!"_ Hatchet loudly announced. _"Get yer bony butts in gear or I'm coming down there to shift you all over the place!"_

"Alright, let's keep this rolling" Duncan said. "Tyler, we need you to find and distract Lindsay right out of the match."

"Yes sir!" Tyler eagerly agreed. Duncan smiled and nodded.

"""

"I was expecting more of a fight from him, honestly" Duncan admitted. "Telling him to basically stay out of the fight is kinda...harsh I think. I would've taken it that well if someone told me to just take someone out of the game, but whatever."

"""

"Zeke," Duncan continued, "Keep that turret up no matter what. Even if you have to jump in front of it for just a second of extra fire, do it. It's our only defense against a full rush!" Zeke saluted and started hitting his turret with renewed verve. "DJ and Geoff, we'll need some heavy fire to defend that turret too. Can you shoot those girls away in an instant?"

"Yes sir!" Geoff saluted.

"You can count on me too" DJ announced.

"Hey Duncan?" Harold began.

"Don't worry dude" Duncan said, pulling him aside by the shoulder. "You've got some special orders, trust me, and they don't have anything to do with Izzy." Harold sighed with relief and leaned in so Duncan could whisper to him.

"_Thirty seconds!" _Chris shouted. _"Good luck, girls."_

"Okay, one more time!" Izzy said. "Beth and Leshawna, take out the turret. That's your only job. Lindsay, intercept from the right flank. Heather intercept from the left. Gwen, you're with me this match. We'll rush in once the turret's gone, ubercharge, and kill them all!"

"Right on!" Gwen agreed loudly.

"_Fifteen seconds!"_ Chris said. Izzy lowered her microphone to her mouth and tapped it with her tongue to test it. The girls all heard it, gave a thumb up, and prepared to dash out the door.

"Get ready men!" Duncan shouted, finishing his spotty point coverage. "This is it!" The doors began to slide open slowly, revealing the underbelly of the garage above the boy's base, and as the clock reached zero, the paths were wide and clear for each team. The final Hydro battle was afoot!

* * *

Seconds into the match, Lindsay saw Tyler and waved at him. He beckoned her over, and she nervously shushed him and tried to silently shoo him away.

"Here we go!" Izzy growled. "The base is down there!" Izzy pointed into the elevated platform that held a truck. That was the entrance, a garage with secret stairs leading down. There were two entrances, each diverging into different paths that all led into the same base. Izzy and Gwen went to the left door, which looked more discreet, while Beth and Leshawna entered in the right entrance. Once down the snaking staircase they were met with a rain of bullets and explosions from the turrets and Duncan's grenade-lobbing gun.

"I got this" Leshawna said. She equipped her sticky gun and blind-fired behind the corner into the open area. Her sticky grenades went all over, only one of them within harmful distance of Zeke's turret, but she still forced a retreat out of Duncan. Once the shots stopped, she gave the 'all clear' signal, two quick breaths into her mic.

"That's good" Izzy noted. She in turn charged in, shotgun in grip, and started bursting bullets around. She hit Duncan and forced him into cover, she hit Zeke and forced him to hide behind his dispenser, and then the turret successfully chewed enough of her health to force her away entirely.

"Great job" Gwen said. Izzy panted as she reloaded and listened closely.

"It's not over yet" Izzy said. "We still have our trump card, remember?"

"...um, who?" Gwen asked.

"Heather" Izzy said.

"Oh yeah" Gwen realized. "How will she know to move up?" As they talked a small grenade came bouncing into scene. "Oh, crap."

"Crap indeed" Izzy agreed. Geoff's fragmentation grenade took a huge chunk out of both girl's health and forced them to retreat. Meanwhile, Leshawna continued her volley uninterrupted and forced the boys to keep hiding. When one new sticky grenade entered the field, another exploded, and she knew she was getting closer.

"Just a little more" Leshawna said. "Beth, can you cover me from the side?"

"I'm already on it" Beth said. She was aiming the whole time through the slim opening behind Leshawna, waiting for an opportunity to come up. Then, when all seemed quiet and calm, Geoff and DJ came crackling around the corner with a glow of invincibility. He blasted them back up the stairs and then finished them off before reloading as his ubercharge wore off.

"Nice timing, dude" Geoff praised, raising a hand up to his medic partner for a high-five. DJ gave him one happily and smile proudly about it.

"""

"They've gotten better at the teamwork, it seems" Izzy admitted. "Good. Gooood...This will provide my team with a more difficult challenge for them to overcome to prove their worth to me! I hope they're a up to it as I am!"

"""

Soon after the girls spawned, Lindsay spotted Tyler trying to call her over again and struggled to avoid confronting him casually. She started to run over with her gun drawn but Heather stealthily stopped her.

"What are you doing?" Heather interrogated. Lindsay just whimpered in response, because she knew heather knew what she was doing already. "Look, we're in a war here. You want to show some real appreciation for the team? Forget about Tyler and just kill the boys!" Heather could see her snapping was pushing Lindsay, a potential voter, away so she changed strategies. "Or, you can show him how much you love him by giving him a challenge."

"Huh?" Lindsay grunted.

"You really like him, right?" Heather asked. Lindsay nodded and smiled. "Then you need to test him! See if he'll really stick by you no matter what. Try actually killing him and see if he still returns your love afterwards. Trust me. Boys all need to be tested before they become men."

"""

"I never thought Heather would be able to help me like this" Lindsay admitted, "but she really made sense! I'm going to show Tyler how much I really like him from now on without my words or my lips! I'll use guns!"

"""

Lindsay took up her gun once more, but this time seriously rushed Tyler. He waved her over, expecting a stealthy leap or push against a wall for some well-missed making-out, but instead got a face full of undefended scatter-gun bullets. He didn't have time to be confused before he died, either!

"Come on Heather!" Izzy shouted, grabbing her arm as she ran, "we need to keep pushing!" Heather snapped back and smacked away Izzy's hand fiercely.

"You can go ahead and run right into a brick wall!" Heather shouted. "It's an impossible defense! They aren't going to budge at all! We may as well just stay up here and relax while we can. Who knows what stupidity Chris and his lackeys have already thought up for us later."

"Come on, girl!" Leshawna called. "We need you down there!"

"No way" Heather said. "Consider me retired from the match!"

"What!?" Gwen snapped.

"Pfft" Izzy scoffed. "Whatever. More killing for us! Come on girls!" Gwen looked back at Heather with disgust and ran ahead anyway. Heather had an evil smile on her face, but no confessionals were recorded of her immediately after the incident.

Down in the base, with all the players active and fighting, there was nothing but relentless carnage doom being shot through the air. Zeke shot from behind his dispenser, which was quickly getting hammered by Beth. Geoff and DJ fended off an invincible Izzy while Duncan set up a trap behind cover for Izzy to run into. Lindsay ran out in a berserk fury, but was quickly put down by the turret's fire.

"This ain't working!" Leshawna shouted across the room. Izzy tapped her mic with her tongue and retreated into cover. Geoff had no more grenades, one being used at the start of the fight, so she knew she was safe for now. "We can't get past the doors!" Leshawna said over the wireless.

"She's right" Gwen agreed. "We need to strategize to get our timing down. Maybe we could send in a martyr to draw the turret's fire, then you can charge it and flame it down."

"Wouldn't work" Izzy said. "I've done the calculations in my head, and I know my flamethrower can't reach that far or do that much damage in time. We'd need some super-concentrated fire."

"Then let's do that" Beth said over the com.

"There are too many of them in there" Izzy said. "If we can't distract all of them, we can't get past the turret. It's a real double standard, dammit, but it's what we need to deal with."

"So we're screwed?" Gwen said. Considering all the possibilities and the fact that Izzy could hear something beeping on her back, she decided on a positive answer.

"Yeah" Izzy groaned, "we're screwed." Then Duncan detonated the sticky grenades he stuck to Gwen and Izzy when they were invincible. Leshawna and Beth pulled back, but Geoff and DJ caught up to them again. Thankfully, this time, Leshawna had thought ahead and laid a trap of sticky grenades over the last exiting stairwell for them and took Geoff out of the equation. Now only pacifist DJ remained and Beth quickly disposed of him.

"Nice" Leshawna praised. Both were instantly killed, one then the other, from Harold behind. He quickly blew a kiss to the wind in victory and retreated down into the base.

"""

"I felt kinda bad about killing Leshawna like that" Harold admitted, "but I'd feel worse if I let my team down. There's a time and place for love, and love doesn't belong on the battlefield. A lesson learned from the greatest soldier ever to live: Solid Snake!"

"""

* * *

"Come on!" Harold beckoned below. "The girls are all dead now! Let's rush up and camp their spawn point!"

"That's so underhanded, dude!" Duncan shouted. "I'm proud of you. Let's go!" He cocked his gun and started up the stairs into the open air. Up above, thunder was rolling in, a sure sign of trouble. Duncan waited for Geoff and DJ to respawn, which took them no time, and took Zeke with him as well. Harold cloaked and followed behind. The boys arrived at the impassible metal door that led into the girl's safe area and waited.

"They'll see us before we see them" Duncan said, "so keep your trigger fingers itchy!"

"Got it boss" Zeke said. Then, a quiet slicing sound was heard. The boys ignored it over their own eager breath, but it continued on until at last Duncan found himself the last one breathing before a dark figure descended on him from behind.

"""

"Taking myself out was brilliant" Heather said, pumping her arms inward victoriously. "I knew if the boys didn't see me and killed everyone else, they'd automatically assume that I died and rush our spawn point to camp us. I can predict their every, simple move, and that's what's getting me the MVP!"

"""

Pleased with herself, Heather decided it was time to cinch the award and ran to the base. She knew her time was little and she needed to disable the turret, so she disguised herself and sapped it as soon as possible.

"Zeke!" Tyler shouted, unaware of Heather's disguise, was alive and rushed over. "Dude, where is she?"

"Um, over there!" Heather shouted in Zeke's voice. Tyler looked away and Heather stabbed him from behind. As soon as she did, the capture clock began running. Heather haughtily leaned against Zeke's still active turret and began looking over her nails, but suddenly the capture stopped. Heather's brow perked up instantly and she looked around.

"Hello?" Heather shouted. No answer. A Red boy was alive and in the rign, but she could see them. That's how she knew who it was. "Harold!? Come out here, you coward! I killed your entire team on my own!"

"You did it without honor" Harold said. He whipped out his trusty blade and held it up beside his head like a lightsaber. "A scar on a soldier's back is a disgrace!"

"Chill out, dweeb" Heather chided. "This is a game, just like before, and all I'm doing is playing it like a banjo."

"I can play the banjo" Harold said incidentally. His plan to distract Heather with petty talk worked, and he rushed her when her guard was down. She was able to step away and defend herself with her knife, but quickly decided to throw her honor away and took out her gun.

"Don't bring a knife to a gun fight!" Heather said. She shot several times, missing each one, and counted only one bullet left. She tried to aim, but Harold was too quick and leaped forward to slice the gun right out of her hand. In reality, however, he had just fallen and made a desperate swipe. Then he caught himself and jumped back up, breathing heavily.

"Give up, babe" Harold said, flourishing his knife and acting cool. "You're no match for me!" Heather growled and prepared to lunge forward. She made a quick stab, the three more in succession, the swept his feet and cut his ankles. With a shout, Harold fell and the girls peeked around the same corner of the biggest double doorway.

"Whoo!" Izzy shouted. "Go Heather!" Heather was distracted to see them all at once, leaving herself open for a stab. She managed to twist around and take it in the shoulder, but still staggered out of the point. Harold twirled his knife in victory, but Heather refused to lose. Instead she cloaked and ran in. Harold knew she would try to get his back but couldn't attack while invisible, so he didn't panic. He just stood, breathing deeply, and waited. Heather's cloak wore off as she crouched behind him, ready to pounce.

"Hhhhh" Harold wheezed. In the second before Heater's jump, Harold had an asthma attack and had to retrieve his inhaler. So he bent down, put it in his mouth, and shot back up to breath in. In doing so, he dodged Heather's stab, forced her off balance, and head-butted her in the face.

"Oooh!" Izzy and Gwen groaned.

"That's gonna hurt" Leshawna added. Harold circled around quickly, stabbed Heather in the heart as a final blown, and let her fall. He won, and without sacrificing his manly honor to do so.

"""

"That was so cool" Beth said admirably. "I know he's our enemy, but still, it was awesome!"

"""

"Hey!" Duncan shouted. He and his boys were back and ready to fight it out once more, but noticed Harold glaring down Izzy inside the ring. "Harold, you take care of the psycho. We'll hold back the other girls."

"Over my plus-size behind you will!" Leshawna called fiercely. She started lobbing grenades over Harold and Duncan tried to return fire. Gwen started healing Beth and let her and Geoff duel with rockets. Lindsay lended her firepower as well behind Leshawna, using her pistol. Izzy drew out her ax and stepped in with a fanged sneer on her face.

"Are you scared of me?" Izzy growled, stepping into and contesting the point.

"Maybe" Harold admitted.

"Oh, sure you are" Izzy said. "Don't flatter yourself by saying it makes you stronger, either. The only way to really live is without fear. That's why I'm so lively! GET IT!!!!?" Izzy made a flying cleave towards Harold, who defended as much as he could with his puny knife, and shoved her away. He noticed Heather's knife on the ground and made a desperate and sloppy roll to pick it up. Now he had twice as much power but still felt overwhelmed. Izzy mad ea vicious hack once more, all the while either breathing sharply into her mic or tapping it with her tongue. At one point she even made a rhaspberry into it. The girls all seemed to respons appropriately and changed targets when she did so. Under her discrete command, Zeke died from concentrated fire.

"Crap!" Duncan shouted. "Harold, finish her quick!"

"I'm trying!" Harold said. He was still getting pushed back with each swing, but advanced just as much with his own swings. The two tangoed from edge to edge of the ring, doing no damage to each other at all. Harold was close to death and Izzy was freshly alive. It was too one-sided for Harold to be hopeful.

"""

"It's okay that I was scared" Harold said with a smile, "because I don't believe what Izzy said to me. Living without fear isn't a good thing, I know. I always had some kind of fear in me that pushed me to trust my team and work with them to the last day, and I'm sure they had the same fears. Like, 'what if I screw up?' or 'what if I can't keep up?' That's the kind of motivation that let me get so far in the game originally. It made me force those fears out the window and just push myself to the limit. So, if I'm scared of Izzy, that's okay! She's just another obstacle for me to overcome with fear pushing behind me. That, and she's pretty genuinely scary when she holds an ax."

"""

Harold caught Izzy's head-splitting attack between his knives and gave her a swift kick to the abdomen. She stumbled back, leaving herself open, and got a swift jab to the face. It did moderate damage. Then Harold made a spinning trip-kick to her legs and almost swept her away, then came back up in a corkscrew and cut across her chest. It did moderate damage as well. Now both were on the same teetering edge of frail health and on the same desperate terms. They breathed heavily at each other, waiting for one to flinch before the other.

"""

"It was the most intense fight I'd ever been in" Izzy said. "Haaawh! I was drooling by the end of it, man! It rocked!"

"""

"Just when you didn't think Izzy could get crazier" Gwen said "she surprises you with a whole new level of weird. I honestly can't sleep knowing she's nearby and has an ax..."

"""

"Let's end this" Izzy growled. She screamed and went rushing forward with her ax drawn to her side. Harold tried to roar out a manly cry as well, but all he could do was squeak. In his last moments, Duncan observed Harold clench his chest and drop his guard before getting syringed to death by Gwen. DJ and Geoff watched Izzy run in before getting blown to pieces by Leshawna's sticky grenades on the walls. Tyler winked at Lindsay who blew a kiss and then shot him.

"Time out!" Harold called. Izzy paused mid-charge and literally froze on one leg with her tongue out. "Asthma attack!" Harold whipped out his inhaler again and started breathing from it erratically. It looked over to everyone else, and they hoped Izzy would unpause and just kill him, but she didn't. Instead, she waited the full ten seconds for the boys to respawn to let Harold get better and nodded for time to resume. Then she jumped forward with a piercing screech and slashed Harold in half.

"Now do you understand?" Izzy asked Harold's twitching, half-alive head. "It's because of my lack of fear that I can win anytime we fight!"

"Maybe" Harold said, "but the fear of permanent inferiority will always drive me to be the better fighter, no matter what weapon I hold!" It was a scene so touching that Geoff shed tears and DJ cried. Duncan even gave an honoring nod and Gwen let herself get wrapped up as well with a silent word to the dead.

"HAH!" Heather shouted. She jumped into the point, thinking she was doing good, and the capture clock sped quickly to full. Everyone, especially Izzy, glared daggers at her for breaking the moment and she stopped celebrating a second too late before skeptically looking at her leader and huffing out

"What? We won!"

* * *

And indeed they have. The Blue tam grasps victory through their rushed strategies on Hydro! Thanks to Noah's brilliant mind and Owen's strength, the boys defended their point and with Izzy's awesome skill overall the girls captured theirs. Now the task will fall to both teams, who will reunite next week, to elect their respective MVPs. Will Harold's selfless courage and honorable acts get him the coveted award? Probably. Will Heather's selfish desire to grasp the medal for herself and no one else lead her to the final victory? Probably not, but then what is this show without twists!? Tune in next week for the most dramatic MVP ceremony yet, here on  
_**Total  
Drama  
TEAM FORTRESS!!!**_


	27. Lobby 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Blue team Domination! Noah's expert defense and Izzy's maniacal offense have won them the game! The boys and girls will finally be reunited and the teams reassembled after the long fight before breakfast. Then, after breakfast an appropriate dressing, the teams will adjourn to vote for their respective MVPs. Who will get the coveted title? Find out now!

"Great job, team" Noah congratulated. "We owe it all to each other. And me." Despite his egotistical finish, Noah got a round of cheering and applause. He was hoisted onto Owen's shoulders and praised by nearly everyone. Nearly. Heather stood in the back of the group, silently looking about and plotting the whole time.

"""

"I'm sure to get the MVP" Heather said. "After all, if it wasn't for me, those guys would have held up back. I opened the way for the girls to really push. Izzy and Harold just messed around the whole time."

"""

"Okay" Noah said, hopping back to the ground of his teams luxury suite base. "Now we need to get our organized vote down. Since we've got two MVPs with a similar contrast, our gender, I'll delegate the guys and Gwen will delegate the girls on who should get our MVP."

"We've even got the footage from the matches" Gwen pointed out. "I suggest we all watch the other team's match so we can coordinate better."

"Good plan" Noah said. "Girls will watch the boys match and the boys will watch the girl's match. We've already lived our own matches, so we won't have to watch to decide on that."

"Who's watching first?" Heather asked.

"Let's decide" Noah said. He and Gwen faced down in a very quick match of rock-paper-scissors and Gwen won. "Girls watch first."

"Whoo!" Izzy shouted. "I can't wait to see the climactic battle that you guys won!"

"I can't wait to see your either" Owen pointed out. "I bet you set everybody on fire at once!"

"Well, yeah..." Izzy said with a lilting tone of modesty. "Maybe not all at once, but I did set everyone on fire...heh."

"Okay girls" Gwen commanded. "Everyone gather around in the den area and we'll check this out."

"I hope Eva got some pain" Leshawna said. "I've been itching to see that girl at the losing end of a fight for a while."

"I want to see Courtney go down in flames" Heather said. "I bet you're just aching to see Trent in trunks, right Gwen?" At first Gwen blushed, but then she just shrugged nonchalantly. Trent, who heard his name and peeked around the corner, smiled and ducked away.

"""

"I'm so relieved we won" Trent admitted. "It was kinda scary for a bit. I'm sure Gwen must have led the team to their victory, though. She's more than smart enough to coordinate an offensive. Then again, Izzy has military training, so it might have been her. Oh man, this is making me anxious. It's like hearing there's a sequel to your favorite movie that you friends have already seen and you don't want it ruined for you before you see it. And the theater is, like, right in front of you! It's nerve-wrecking!"

"""

"My projection" Noah said "is that whoever led the girls and took over will get the major vote between the boys and girls. That's just the way it goes most of the time."

"""

"I really hope Izzy wins" Owen said. "She deserves it. Besides, I want to see how much more powerful her flamethrower can get! She'll be melting faces off with a single blast! HAHA!"

"""

"Roll film!" Gwen commanded. The boy's match played out, with every detail of their initial loss and daring defensive victory included. Multiple camera angles and less-frequently used over-shoulder views let the girls see the boy's every movement through their game. After it was all said and done, the girls began reaching their conclusions for the match.

"Well, I don't think any of them should get the vote" Heather haughtily said. "After all, they lost the first time and barely managed to win the second time."

"They still won" Gwen said. "If I could vote, I'd have to give it to Owen. He really stuck it to Eva."

"That's right" Leshawna agreed. "I'll vote for him too. We could use a real counter-force for Eva. She's too tough for most of us alone."

"Oh yeah" Izzy agreed fiercely. "An MVP Medic/Heavy combo would totally mess those commies up!"

"Commies?" Gwen asked.

"You know" Izzy said, "the red team? Red? Communism?" After a moment of silence, Izzy just scoffed at her team mates and turned around. "I don't eve know you guys anymore..."

"Well, I think we've made our major decision" Gwen said. "Once the guys watch our match, Noah and I will decide who should get the MVP, okay?"

"Sure thing" Heather agreed, being suspiciously cheerful. Gwen and the other girls looked at her out of the corners of their eyes with glaring suspicion, and Heather nervously shifted away from the couch towards her room. "Well, I'm sore! I'm gonna go ahead and take a nap before the next game. That way I'm all rested up! Come get me when its time to vote!" Once she left, the girls all exchanged a strikingly similar glance about heather's new mood.

"""

"She wants that medal so bad" Gwen said "that I can nearly taste it. And I guarantee you, the only thing she'll taste is defeat."

"Heather'th a nih-wih" Izzy mocked with her tongue touching her nose.

"""

Once the girls adjourned, the boys came in and watched the girl's performance. The main detail that enticed all the guys was the same, as was their first and only choice for a candidate. After the film, Noah and Gwen met to deliberate and coordinate how the vote would unanimously swing.

"Izzy" Noah said.

"I knew you'd say that" Gwen said cheerfully. "She was amazing the whole match! Just being around her was like..."

"Sitting near an armed missile?" Noah asked.

"Bingo" Gwen pointed. "The girls have it in for Owen, though. He really save all our hides in the final seconds against Eva. Plus, having a counter-Eva would work pretty well for us."

"A Double MVP combo" Noah mused. "That would work terrifically for us. Still, Owen isn't a major asset to us as of yet."

"What do you mean?" Gwen asked.

"In a normal game, I'd have to agree with you" Noah said. "You'd have to be pretty stupid not to give the Heavy more firepower as soon as possible. That won the Reds their first victory. However, we aren't playing in a simple world with rules everywhere. This is a virtual reality, and we can bend all the rules we want. We can scale unscalable walls and exit the gaming environment to flank the enemy. We can blow holes in the ground for cover and our enemy's have a greater sense of psychological trauma than they would if they sat behind keyboards. We need to focus on the metal advantage we have, and I think capitalizing Izzy would give us all the psychotic capita we'd need."

"...so, Izzy?" Gwen summarized.

"Bingo Bango" Noah smoothly affirmed. "I'm sure Heather will have something interesting to say about that."

"Oh, she always does" Gwen sighed. In her room, the nervous and anxious Heather was tapping her foot out of frustration and fiddling with her weapons. She had already looked over every part of her revolver, managed to double the speed of her sapper after a short electrocution and mastered her butterfly knife. Now she was very cautiously eyeing down her spy kit, complete with cigarettes...

"""

"I know I'm a shoo-in" Heather bragged. "The boys will see the match, find out how clever and analytical I am, and I'll get the vote nearly hands down!"

"""

Heather started shaking with fear, fear of getting caught and fear of not getting the vote, as she slowly put a cigarette in her mouth and lit it with the accessory lighter. After a short coughing fit form the first breath, Heather demonstrated her ability to quickly overcome her own weakness and was steadily breathing in the fumes. The stress started to lift, although only a little, and her nervous twitching stopped. Now she just looked bad-ass.

* * *

At the Red team headquarters in the stuffy and cramped locker-room space, the team deliberated in their own way. Courtney ruled early on that having an open opinion democracy where all thought was equal and important to the team was the way to go. Unfortunately, even though she projected constantly her title of team leader, the table meetings degenerated very quickly into chaos where everyone shouted their opinions over each other to get their words in edge wise. Currently, everyone was sharing their opinion on why they, not someone else, should get the title.

"I followed my orders the best" Tyler argued.

"I gave you your orders" Duncan demanded.

"I think Sadie should get it!" Katie shouted.

"Yeah!" Sadie agreed. "I should get it!"

"What are you doing!?" Katie demanded. "You're supposed to want _me_ to get it!"

"Well, I want it" Sadie huffed.

"Oh, like you guys deserve it" Duncan shouted. "Come on! I guided my team the whole time! I had all the plans!"

"You lost" Eva pointed out. She and Courtney, unable to vote, were just quietly trying to control the chaos by shooting everybody down whenever they could so the opinions and confidence levels would eventually just even out. "Why should we trust you with it?"

"Who can plan around Izzy?" Duncan argued. Eva had to back down after that. The shouting and demanding continued, and only one person had yet to cast their vote of self-confidence. Harold. The whole meeting he had not said anything. Once he got over his initial shock from losing to Izzy he was just distant, almost spacy, right up until the first shouts started coming. Now, all of a sudden in between Sadie and Katie's in fighting and Geoff defending everyone he could at once from Courtney and Duncan, Harold got up and left. He was heading, stealthily for the confessionals, and no one noticed him gone until they heard the shower curtain to the stall slide shut. Once they all noticed, they were silent.

"Hey" Courtney said to break the silence, "what about Harold?"

"What about him?" Eva said.

"Well" Courtney continued, "he did keep Heather from capturing an undefended point. He was a step ahead of her at that point. And he held off Izzy long enough for everybody to respawn."

"Is that an accomplishment?" Duncan skeptically asked.

"It would have been" Courtney fired back "if you guys would have actually tried to kill the girls when you got back!"

"You saw it" Duncan argued. "She was using, like, psychic messages the whole time or something!"

"Did you even remember your headsets?" Courtney demanded.

"We tried them" Geoff defended "but we weren't very good at them. The only thing we could hear was Harold's wheezy breathing the whole time and it was way too loud."

"It's true" DJ added. "It didn't work out for us."

"What about me, eh?" Zeke asked.

"We went over you" Courtney said, brushing him off. "Honestly, the only person I can really see that earned the award, despite the losses, is Harold. Eva and I won the first match because of our own status, so I can't count us in. Bridgette, sorry, but I can't see you standing on your own two feet just yet with the title."

"No worries" Bridgette said. "I don't think I could do as well as Gwen does either."

"Katie and Sadie" Courtney continued "well, you guys can't share the title. All Tyler did was make-out with Lindsay..."

"That was a crucial part of the plan!" Tyler hotly defended.

"Duncan, your strategies didn't work" Courtney finished. "I'm sorry guys, but I think this match belongs to Harold."

"You know what" Duncan said, jumping to his feet, "I agree!"

"""

"I just need a moment away from those guys" Harold admitted. "I can't stand all the back and forth of selfishness. I gladly put my life on the line for my team because that's what a soldier does. I really don't care who gets the award. Right now, I just hope that person doesn't have some crazy ego-trip and try to split the team apart." With a sigh, Harold got up and prepared to leave.

"""

As Harold entered the room once more, he sat in his seat and found that everyone was looking at him in a very suspicious way.

"Hey guys" Harold said. "Uh, what's up? Did we reach a verdict yet?"

"We were just about to vote" Courtney slyly said. "Everyone, raise your hand if you're for, keep it down if against. Show of hands?" Everyone's hand went up, some begrudgingly so and others slightly more enthusiastically. Harold was confused and therefore had to be nudged by DJ to get his hand up. It was unanimous and Courtney nodded with a sense of accomplishment. "Okay, that settles it. Harold, congratulations." Harold was first shocked, and visibly so, then pleasantly surprised with a happy simple, then so very proud of himself that he stood up and puffed out his chest with a grin on his face.

"Way to go man" Duncan said. Soon, applause came up from the ground and Harold was praised for reasons he didn't know.

"""

"I'm willing to admit it" Duncan said. "Harold's gotten pretty damn coll lately. Mostly he just hangs in the back, but when he fights Izzy he gets this weird, cool aura around him. I'm hoping that we can really let that kind of feeling come out more often in him if we give him more power. Once he gets his upgrades, he'll get a confidence boost to go along with them, and fighting Izzy in those little honor duels will be no problem, and that threat will be done with at last. I'm suspecting either Owen or Izzy to get the promotion on that side, either one being an easy target for Harold post MVP. Oh yeah, our ace is finally in the hole!"

"""

"They can't even defend against a normal spy" Courtney bragged. "A super-spy? We'll have the next game in the bag...unless Izzy gets the MVP. Then we may be in trouble..."

"""

"BOOYAH!" Harold shouted.

"""

Who _will_ win? What will the next map be? But before all that can be asked, just what will Izzy and Harold receive for their super-star performances? Will Heather suffer some kind of horrible breakdown? What happened to the quirky romances of the other characters? Has the writer forgotten about them! Find out next week! Don't miss it!


	28. Lobby 6

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

It was time to vote. The Blue team was the first to get fully organized and properly ordered, so they assembled in the huge and vacant voting hallway first. The same wooden stage and central podium were present as they were the first time, and the fighters still sat in front like an audience. This time they had chairs, mostly because of the luxurious package they won from the last match. The team had already decided on who would win and the votes were cast. Chris suddenly appeared via a hidden elevating platform and took his spot behind the podium at center-stage.

"Alright" he began "Looks like we've got a pretty good turn out here. Where's Heather?"

"She's locked in her room" Gwen said. "She won't come out or answer us."

"Too bad" Chris said. "And where's Izzy?"

"None of us are very sure" Noah said. "We assume she somehow broke out of the programming and is currently going nuts wherever she really is."

"No, she's still here" Chris said. "You all are. Pretty clever of you to figure out this is all just a simulation already."

"It is?" Lindsay remarked inquisitively.

"It's hard not to" Noah pointed out. "How else could we die and come straight back to life seconds later?"

"Magic" Chris said. "Anywho, let's get on with the votes. I'll start from the bottom of the ballot box this time. Ahem..." Chris reached down onto the podium, where there was no box, and hit a button. A huge screen rolled down from the ceiling and a crystal-clear image of each confessional showed up. The first five of Cody, Trent, Owen, Justin and Leshawna all said the same thing:

"Izzy"

However, the sixth after that didn't have the same opinion. It was Heather's vote.

"""

"I deserve to win the most" Heather said in a relaxed voice. "I mean, I totally pulled one over those stupid boys. Heck, I even tricked my team mates. I stayed a full jump ahead of everyone else because I know what to expect. I know how to play this game and win. Therefore I, being the best choice, vote for myself."

"""

"How tacky" Beth whispered to Lindsay who giggled. Despite Heathers' stirring confessional, everyone else after her said 'Izzy', which basically sealed the vote for Chris.

"Well, there you go" Chris said. "It looks like Izzy, currently absent, is the Hydro MVP!" Although she was absent, her team still gave a round of applause. "In addition to a higher seat of power in general, Izzy will gain access to a much more powerful arsenal. Instead of a short-ranged shotgun, she gets a quick-shooting Uzi! Her ax has been given a sweet overhaul, giving it jet-propulsion for super powered- one-hit kills swings from behind. She is now one-hundred percent fireproof, which also gives her s slight bonus in defense against explosions. Her Flamethrower has been tricked out and given a huge power boost which she can use by adjusting the spread of her fire. She can tighten the nozzle and make a longer stream or open it more for a wide-spread crowd-control."

"""

"Once you listen to these things more" Noah said, "it sounds like they're letting us cheat with all this power. I'm just glad I already got mine. Technically we're already playing on a modified server, so I can do no wrong in terms of strategy."

"""

"Finally," Chris said, "now that there are three of you, the voting process has changed. Instead of everyone voting for themselves, they will each present their own review of a matches battle for the three MVP's to judge. In short, there are three votes and the MVPs get them. The more you want the power the more you gotta give to your buddies!"

"I hope ya'll don't let that power get to your heads" Leshawna said. She and Gwen both laughed at the obvious joke.

"Alright team" Noah said, walking up to stage to receive Izzy's medal on her behalf, "let's go get this thing on its owner's neck."

"Easier said than done, dude" Trent pointed out. "She wasn't at the base and her room wasn't trashed."

"So?" Chris asked.

"Izzy's room is _always_ trashed" Noah pointed out. "Can you seal down the area?"

"I can try" Chris said, "but these bases are kind of between areas and places right now. The only place you can go from your base immediately is the next base for the current map. And right now, there is no map. Just...no map."

"So she's in purgatory?" Gwen asked. "Strangely I don't think she'd mind it that much."

"She'll drop in if we load a map" Chris said. "Whad'ya say? Can you dudes suffer Hydro long enough to find her again?"

"We can try" Trent said.

"Come on guys!" Owen blurted out. "Our comrade is missing! We can't leave a single resource unexhausted! CHAAAAARGE!!" Owen started running...somewhere. Chris reset the level so they were outside the recently drained dam base in Hydro and Owen went running off.

"She's here somewhere" Noah said. "Split up team. If you find her, tell her to meet me at this base to get her good news."

"Let's go guys" Gwen said. They all went running off while Chris teleported away and Noah went inside to use the computers to hack into the unseen cameras again.

* * *

Meanwhile, Harold was preparing for his acceptance ceremony. He had naturally gone and assumed that his team gave him the MVP out of respect for his awesome skill, rather that truthfully accept that they did it out of desperation and pity. He tucked in his formal shirt and straightened his bow tie with a prestigious sense of pride.

"""

"I aced that match" Harold said. "I mean, we didn't win or anything and maybe we could have done more...but I fought Izzy!"

"""

"Alright guys" Courtney said, "are we ready?"

"Why not?" Duncan said. Eva shrugged. "Why are you so uptight right now anyway? Nothing can happen."

"You don't know that" Courtney said. "I just want to make sure nothing surprises us. I've learned that anything can happen in this stupid game, and it doesn't hurt to be over-prepared or to anticipate any situation."

"So speaks the Princess of Paranoia" Duncan remarked. Suddenly, the chair he sat on was gone and he nearly fell to his butt. However, it was not his butt that was the focus of attention. Now that the locker room base they were in had suddenly shifted to the wide, empty hallway with a stage and center podium, the walls had vanished and Harold was still in the process of dressing up for the event. He was bent over with his pants around his ankles when he realized that something was off.

"Ew!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Dude!" Duncan shouted, laughing, "I didn't know they made underwear that color!"

"It's a full moon tonight!" Geoff exclaimed. Bridgette giggled as he howled to seal his joke. Eva shook her head at the floor and Courtney slapped her forehead in embarrassment.

"I guess that's one thing we can't prepare against" Courtney grieved.

"SHUT YOUR FACES UP!" Hatchet shouted, now suddenly at the podium out of nowhere, "and sit your butts DOWN!" Looking confused at their lack of actual seating, the Red team just sat down on the floor. "Now then, let's get this over with. Harold, report up here on the do-"

"Yes sir!" Harold saluted, already next to him. Hatchet's chest jumped in surprise, but he quickly straightened out and cleared his throat to begin.

"Harold" Hatchet formally began, "it is my honor to give you this medal. It recognizes your abilities on the battlefield as a soldier and your performance as a merciless fighter in the presence of overwhelming odds. Congratulations, son, you're a certified killer and MVP!" Harold took a bow of honor and accepted the medal around his neck.

"Thank you, sir" Harold said. "I'll do my best in the future to honor and exemplify the carnage this medal stands for!"

"I'm sure you will" Hatchet said. He took out a slip of paper to scan over briefly, then turned his attention back to Harold. "Now, in addition to you prestigious title, you will also receive the following in-game benefits. Your knife has been replaced with a longer, sharper Japanese katana, capable of severing a human head with a single slice. Your revolver has likewise been replaced with a silenced pistol for stealth shots. Your disguise kit has gotten an upgrade as well. When you adapt a disguise you will be given that classes sub-weapon, for example, an engineer's pistol. You will have five free shots with it before reverting automatically back out of disguise. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir!" Harold promptly affirmed.

"""

"I wish he'd explain it to me, then" Hatched admitted. "All this new-age, video-game rule, paradox, stuff. It makes an old man's head hurt!"

"""

"Your sapper" Hatchet continued, "has been upgraded with an additional option. Instead of automatically destroying a turret, you can use an alternate mode to convert that turret until the enemy destroy it. The only downside is that your team's shots will also damage it. Your stealth timer has been extended and the recharge has been shortened, so you may slip in and out of full cloak faster during the high-pressure of battle. I hope you enjoy these new benefits to your class, and may they benefit your team in the future!"

"Thank you, sir" Harold said.

"""

"Can you spell 'overacting'?" Courtney skeptically said.

"""

"Alright, now" Hatchet continued, "the next match will commence tonight at sunset, in 10hundred hours!"

"That's more than a week away" Zeke pointed out. Hatchet growled the boy down, forcing Zeke to slump back and fall on his head.

"you get the idea!" Hatchet demanded. "Prep up and be ready! I'll give you a training course to run in the meantime. Just step outside to get to it and practice. Now get to it, soldiers! Dismissed!" Then the scenery changed once more, and Harold dropped from thin air onto the locker-room floor. He landed on his feet, of course, but slipped and landed on his butt.

"You just flat-out deserve that ninja-stuff, don't you?" Duncan said. Harold looked up at him with an embarrassed smile and expected him to push him or kick him, but he offered him a hand and helped him up. "Welcome to the big leagues, dude."

"Nice job" Eva said. "Now, outta my way! My therapist says I need to vent every three hours, and unless I'm sleeping, that means something gets beaten up!" Eva marched out of the doorway and into her team's new training grounds ,complete with elevated terrain, trenches, and movable dummies all over the place.

"Let all practice" Courtney commanded. "Harold, you get used to your new weapons. Duncan, practice your aim. Geoff and Sadie, practice your shots and try to memorize the splash damage for explosives."

"Yes ma'am" her entire team sounded off. Courtney sighed and nodded.

"""

"You gotta dig a chick in power" Duncan admitted. "Not that I'm into, you know, the whole dominatrix thing. I just dig it when a girl raises her voice to get stuff done, man."

"""

* * *

The search for Izzy went on. The Blue team split up and searched every part of Hydro, vainly looking for Izzy in every ambush-worthy nook and cranny. Noah delegated and watched from the control room in the dam base that Courtney had hacked the previous match.

"This is Cody" Cody reported over the PA audible communication that Noah had set up for his team. "I've searched through the caves and set up the trip-wires, but so far there's no sign of her."

"Double up with Trent," Noah ordered "he's the closest to you right now."

"May not be a good idea" Trent called in. "She's not at the radar-dish at all."

"She's not int your base" Gwen reported.

"She's not at the other base or toll base" Leshawna reported, as Lindsay and beth were both working with her at the time.

"Dude, she's nowhere" Justin complained. "Shouldn't we be waiting for for her to find her way back?"

"No one can anticipate Izzy's movement" Noah said, "not even us. Is Heather still sulking or whatever she's doing?"

"As far as I know" Gwen said. Heather was indeed still inside the headquarters, inside her room, still getting her breath as she smoked from the infinite pack in her disguise kit.

"This isn't so bad anymore" Heather admitted, holding the smoldering stub out in front of her. "Good thing there aren't any health ramifications since we're in a game, right?"

"I know" Izzy agreed, holding a lighter shaped like a grenade. She put five sticks in her mouth at once, lit them all, and dragged them, ignoring the fact that her hair was on fire.

"Right..." Heather said. "So, you're willing to help me get the MVP next time?"

"Sure" Izzy said. "I'm almost a hundred percent positive that Harold got it for this match. I mean, he's been doing a lot lately, but this time he really pulled through, even though he still lost. And only me and Noah and Gwen have voting power from now on."

"So I'm a cinch now" Heather said.

"Not really" Izzy said. "Gwen doesn't like you, so your vote's out, and Noah votes based on actual performance. If you want to win, you'll either have to win Gwen's unwinable trust or impress Noah's impossibly high standards."

"I choose to sway Noah" Heather very quickly answered. "Gwen's not going to stop hating me any time soon. I admit that. Still, I'm curious. Why help me? Aren't you with them too, on the same field of opinions of me?"

"Oh no" Izzy said. "I think having spiteful opinions of people is lame. I choose to direct all my passionate hatred on inanimate objects or Yetis."

"Yetis?" Heather repeated.

"Yeah, I'm not gonna meet one in this lifetime!" Izzy logically figured. "Well, not anymore." Heather gave her a heated glare to get her back on track, which actually worked and Izzy rolled her eyes back with a smoky grin to recollect her thoughts. "I want you to get the MVP so you can directly be a challenge for Harold. He's now a part of the main competition, and I can't be trusted entirely to stop him every time. He, and his team, have gotten smart. They've evolved a bit since we started. Therefore, I want you as an MVP to act as a really stepping stone for Harold. I won't be personally satisfied until he can beat the utter crap out of me in a one-on-one duel!"

"""

"She may be a total basket case" Heather said, "but right now she's on my side. If I want to win and climb this leader ladder, I may actually need some help. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a shoo-in now!"

"""

Izzy's confessional showed her looking at her flamethrower, removing certain tubes and other parts, then reattaching them and firing it. At first no fire came out, so she looked into the nozzle and it exploded in her face. She smiled anyway and the confessional video went to static...

"""

* * *

Now that the choices have been made and the preparations put in place, what awaits the teams? Will Heather be able to pull through and power herself to glory? Will Harold's new power get him closer to victory against Izzy's formidable weaponry? Will the romances rekindle on the battlefield or has our writer given up on that for a more action-driven plot? Find out, maybe not everything, but most of that next time! The next map will be...  
A surprise!!!


	29. Well 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

It is now after dinner. The teams are pleasantly satiated with food and the Blue team was lounging freely in their headquarters main sitting room. Even Heather was there, leisurely kicking up her legs on the couch with nary a sign of distress on her.

"We've got a couple minutes" Noah pointed out. "Who wants to try and pass the time?"

"We can play blackjack" Izzy offered.

"""

"Izzy's offer is very nice" Heather said "but I think it's totally unnecessary. I can win my teammates over on my own!...although, don't tell her I said that. It's not like I wouldn't take her help if I wanted to. Heh. That's it, I need to destroy this tape...

"""

"Why aren't we planning for the next map?" Trent asked.

"It's all up here, my friend" Noah said, tapping his skull.

"Shouldn't you share it with us?" Gwen asked.

"When the time is right" Noah said. "Trust me, I have plenty of plans and failsafes for any map we get to play on. Plus, I've already figured out which map will be next."

"Really?" Cody asked.

"Unfortunately, yes" Noah said. "And I say unfortunately because we'll be at an obvious disadvantage due to Courtney's MVP powers. She can see _and_ shoot through walls. On top of that she's paranoid enough to shoot at anything."

"What's the map?" Izzy asked. Suddenly the room was gone! The team found themselves falling through the air and into a pool of water.

"Well" Noah said.

"""  
"I despise satirically timed events" Noah said. "I don't find them funny. Plus, those were my only good floodpants for the week. What's the purpose of floodpants if they get wet!?"

"""

"Well what?" Heather asked. Noah pinched the bridge of his nose and looked around. He found a circular opening at the top of a ladder and swam to it. He emerged from a manhole in the rear Blue base of the Granary-style capture and control map. Five bases, multiple environmental traps and a whole slew of strategic possibilities.

"Lets' get to work now" Noah said. "Cody and Leshawna, I need you guys to follow me. Trent, head upstairs once you find the stairs. Gwen and Owen, team up. Izzy, take everyone else to the middle point. You'll know you're there because you'll see train tracks."

"Train tracks?" Izzy repeated curiously. She felt like she knew what that would mean, but the crazy of her mind offset the actual genius and she stopped caring. Everyone reported to their proper places. Trent, as a sniper, was ordered to patrol between the wall of windows that overlooked the open grounds between the middle building and the proper base.

"It reminds me of Granary" Trent said over the com.

"""

"I get a weird nostalgic feeling thinking to the first map" Trent admitted. "For some reason, I feel like it's been weeks, maybe months, instead of just a few days. Must be this virtual reality messing with my brain, or something. Not that I understand it."

"""

"It should" Noah replied. "The rules and play style are almost exactly the same. The only exception now is that the bases are partially sheltered inside these buildings." Noah and his defense team were at the first of their pre-controlled points, covering the base and surrounding it with turrets. Noah's faced right and Cody's left. Noah kept his turret at level two so he could place a level one turret somewhere else. "Izzy, status report."

"Roger, over" Izzy replied. "Team Izzy has arrived, over. We are awaiting the start of the match, over. I have to pee, over."

"Me too!" Lindsay whined.

"I'm going the other way" Heather said. She started jogging away to the other entrance that led into the same, central building.

"Gwen and Owen, status?" Noah asked.

"We're okay" Owen said. "It's very cramped down here." He and Gwen were guarding the entrance to the water canal that led from one building to the other. If they captured to center base, Owen and Gwen would pop out and aid the others. If the building got captured, they would stop others from progressing using the water system.

"Deal with it for a bit" Noah said. "Izzy, I'm turning over command of your troops to you. Delegate well."

"Sir, yes sir! Over!" Izzy replied. She then turned to her troops and stared them down. Justin was styling his hair in the reflection of the box-car that separated the opposing sides. Beth watched him shyly and Lindsay was...dancing.

"Admiral Izzy?" Lindsay whined.

"""

"Who am I to deny my soldiers a little relief on the battlefield?" Izzy said. "Why, I'm nothing but a living GOD! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"""

"Can you go quick?" Izzy asked, automatically assuming her complaint. Lindsay nodded rapidly, so Izzy nodded affirmatively. Lindsay dropped her gear and began sprinting back to the base. "Oh, wait a a sec. I've got to go too. You guys stay here, okay?"

"Yes ma'am!" Beth saluted. Izzy started running, then just hopped into the water canal. Beth and Justin looked on in disgust while waiting on the train tracks for the match to start.

* * *

At the same time the Blue team almost instinctively moved out on their experienced leader's orders, the Red team fell into immediate chaos. Courtney had lost control of her team and lost her way just barely into her base.

"Guys?" she called over the com. "I found another point of ours. I think this is a Granary style map. You know, five points, capture them all in a time limit, one point is central?"

"We get it" Eva said. "I'm staying in the last base. I don't want anyone to screw up so bad that I have to save us, though, got it?"

"Calm down, Magilla" Duncan said.

"You're lucky you've got yardage from me" Eva growled "or that mouth of yours would be pointing out a different hole!"

"""

"Yeowch!" Duncan blandly said. "Can you tone it down a bit? Seriously? Some kids must watch this show, sister."

"""

"I think I've got a plan" Harold said over the radio.

"Where are you?" Courtney asked. Harold was outside, getting the lay of the land with Zeke and Tyler.

"Courtney" Harold began, "go upstairs until you get to a wall of windows. You an snipe from there and possibly cover the middle point. Eva, get a medic and defend the forward point. Duncan, wherever you are, stick with Katie and Sadie to go on defense. Me, Zeke and Tyler are going to enter from the right side of the middle building, Geoff and DJ, try going underwater."

"Let me put on my floaties first" DJ said. "It's more of a psychological thing for me."

"No sweat, bro" Geoff said. Then, he got an idea. "Actually, why don't you stick wit h Eva on dry land? Me and Bridgette are pretty strong swimmers, so I'll team up with her."

DJ saw the sparkle of idea in Geoff's eye and nodded his head.

"""

"I got to hand it to Geoff" DJ said, "he's got a real romantic mind. He's even thinking about his girl in the middle of battle."

"""  
The order went out and Geoff and Bridgette were reunited. Together they found the canal and dove into it. They swam towards the still locked entrance to the middle building. While underwater, Geoff pounded on the door and shrugged, as it didn't want to open. Bridgette looked around and saw just how spacious the underwater battlefield was. After a brief moment of purposeless preparedness, Geoff made several hand motions that Bridgette interpreted as 'you wanna make out?' She nodded and they started kissing underwater.

Up on land the soldiers all moved into position. After covering the forward point with sticky mines, Duncan joined with the chatty pair Sadie and Katie.

"Ohh look!" Sadie whispered excitedly. "Those are his legs!"

"How can you tell?" Katie asked. They were hugging the ground and looking under the box car that separated the entrances from each base into the middle building.

"It's his pants" Sadie said. "See how tight they are?"

"Oh my gosh" Katie agreed, "you're totally right! They're, like, hugging his tight, hard legs."

"Ahhhh..." they both sighed. Duncan smashed his face with his palm in aggressive annoyance. Obviously they were talking about Justin.

"Can you girls remember something for me?" Duncan asked. They both nodded from the ground. Duncan picked them both up by the backs of their shirts and held them in front of him. "We're at war with those guys! Try not to swoon so bad you get killed from now on!" The girls, out of fear, nodded and Duncan dropped them. They tittered quietly and went on admiring Justin's feet. On the other side, Harold stood ready with his smaller team, ready to fight for his life.

"""

"I have the power now" Harold said. "I know I can win. I can beat the odds. I swear, by the time this map is over, I will kill Izzy! If not..then I will have lost all my honor as a man and a warrior. Not because a woman bested me, no, but because I could not overcome my own weakness in my fear of her. Also, if I lose, it may be because she kicked me in the balls again. I should really get a cup on for that..."

"""

Harold stood at constant attention like a real soldier with his friends at his side.

"What's the plan, dude?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah" Zeke added, "where should we go, eh?"

"Alright" Harold began, cupping his chin, "Tyler, you just sprint up to the point. If you see Lindsay, no matter what, just shoot her, alright?" Tyler, reluctantly, nodded. "Zeke, as soon as you get near the control point, start building a turret. It doesn't matter if it gets done or not, just that they see we mean business. If Duncan is in place and if Geoff can get inside in a timely manner, we should be able to completely overpower them no matter who they bring."

"What if it's Izzy, eh?" Zeke asked.

"Then I will face her" Harold said, drawing out his lethal throwing knives. Unknown to the boys, an extra headset was listening on their conversation. Heather was lying under the separating box car with her microphone on and aimed at Harold. Then, she drew back out and fixed it to her head.

"Everyone get all that?" Heather asked.

"Oh yeah" Izzy lowed in response.

"Great recon Heather" Noah said.

"No biggy" Heather replied.

"""

Heather took a drag from her digital cigarette and faced the camera. "Impress them early on and they'll sway later. I just love psychological warfare."

"""

* * *

"_Okay teams,"_ Chris began on a map-wide announcement, _"here's the deal. The producers have told us that the numbers are getting down, so we need to do something drastic to get them up. It's time for penalties!"_ Obviously, many palms met many foreheads.

"Great" Noah groaned. "Here I thought we'd be having some actual, non-pressured fun for once. No, we've got to make a competition out of everything."

"Well" Cody began, "it _is_ a competition, technically."

"I was being sarcastic dude" Noah said. Cody nodded and smiled at him.

"_Every three minutes"_ Chris continued _"we're going to introduce a new environmental hazard. It could be a very long train on the tracks, it could be a sudden flash flood, it could be a communication shortage due to an electrical storm. Who knows? Anyway, based on your performance during the match, we will choose a new hazard to throw in, and the hazard will stay until the next one comes along."_

"Yes!" Courtney shouted happily.

"Why is any of that god?" Eva asked over the com.

"Noah isn't good with this stuff" Courtney explained. "He can only plan as if he were playing the game like a game. He can't plan like he's really living it! These twists are totally unexpected, and we can adapt to them the fastest!"

"Okay team" Noah now began, "let's try to win this in three minuted, or at least hold them off long enough to get something in our favor."

"Good plan" Izzy announced.

"_Get ready for fun soldiers!"_ Chris shouted. _"Three! Two! One! **WELLLLLLL!!!**"_

The metal gates flew open and the soldiers in the middle based faced each other down. Due to the rules, Geoff and Bridgette were still at odds over their door not opening because their team didn't possess the building, so they decided to swim out and help on land...after making out some more.

"CHARGE!" Izzy commanded. With her team together, she dashed in.

"Fire!" Duncan ordered. His small team entered on the same side as them at the opposite door. Sadie and Duncan started shooting and Beth shot back. She got Duncan in the first volley, but Sadie took her out without suffering major damage. Izzy cranked her flamethrower to the 'stream' mode for long range and prepared to shoot at someone. Tyler started running up the ramp, but Lindsay started shooting first. Tyler was too hesitant and had to retreat for his life until Izzy shot him down with her Uzi.

"""

"I can't do it, man" Tyler admitted. "I just can't bring myself to shoot at someone that ridiculously hot! I don't know how Sadie and Katie can do it, man!"

"""

They weren't. Justin was entrancing them by posing while shooting at them. Katie died, then Sadie soon after. All they could do was gawk.

"Ah, screw this" Duncan said. He started lobbing grenades around freely and Izzy started using her jet-flames to push them away. "Cheap!"

"It ain't illegal!" Izzy shouted. Suddenly, Lindsay at her side fell in defeat. She wasn't near the explosions and there was no stab wound from Harold, she just died. Courtney had shot her from inside her own base, using her ultimate range and scope power to snipe her through the walls. Unfortunately, with her impenetrable teammate blocking her line of sight, she could down Izzy as easily.

"Come on Duncan" Courtney quietly chided, "move it!"

"Get ready to taste the THUNDER!" Izzy roared, flicking out her long stream of flames.

"That's not thunder" Duncan said, a last-ditch attempt at his brand of mocking, biting sarcasm. He was roasted almost instantly. Zeke, meanwhile, had given into fear and stayed down below until Izzy was gone. Harold was invisible and came out from the shadows to glare at Izzy. She felt that someone was challenging her and looked around briefly.

"You're instincts are quite good" Harold said in a modified voice for extreme coolness. "However, now you are out of allies and options, whereas I have reinforcements on route as we speak!"

"Reinforcements!" Geoff shouted, announcing himself in a very timely and enthusiastic way.

"Who's there!?" Izzy demanded. Harold came back into view just as Courtney was about to take a shot.

"Grr!" she growled. She took a deep breath and calmed down. "It's okay, he's gonna die soon. I just need to concentrate on getting the perfect shot..."

"I have come to challenge you, Izzy!" Harold announced, keeping his stylish, cool voice. Suddenly, before Izzy could bother to accept, he tossed his knives at her. She dodged them by simply leaning from direction to direction, but eventually she got hit. The tubes that connected her flammable gas to her gun were severed and spraying about crazily. She switched quickly to her Uzi and started spraying bullets around. Harold leaped onto a wall and continued throwing knives.

"Need some help?" Heather asked over a more private two-way channel.

"Yes" Izzy grunted. "I can't deal with this right now. It's too anti-climactic." Heather, stationed below, gave a nod and ran over to the cowering Zeke. She didn't even need to use her cover to backstab him. Then she moved onto Geoff and Bridgette. She ran over and stabbed Bridgette, and before Geoff could properly mourn she killed him too. Now Harold was all that was left and he was surrounded.

"Hmph" Heather scoffed. Harold glanced in her direction, then continued focusing on Izzy. She darted her eyes down at the control point and started walking forward. Harold would have none of it. He started running. Heather came up behind him and got shot by Courtney from far away. Izzy waited for Harold to get close enough, switched back to her flamethrower, and blasted him with a huge, neutral explosion. The good news was that he was on fire now, but her hands were singed to the bone.

"Oh, cool!" Izzy awed. "It's like a cartoon! Except it HURTS! OW!" Izzy collapsed right onto the point, but Courtney couldn't see her. Harold was screaming like a girl that he was on fire and started running around.

"Water!" he shouted. Then, remembering the wide canal outside, he desperately started running for the window.

"Duck, Harold!" Courtney shouted.

"Die, Harold!" Izzy growled. With her skeleton hand, she gripped her Uzi and started firing at the nearly dead Harold with the little life she had left in her. Harold made a hasty decision and started backflipping toward the window. Izzy had crawled up onto her badly damaged hands and knees. Harold was flipping high into the air and arcing towards the ground.

"BOOM!" Courtney shouted. "Headshot!" She shot, aiming at Izzy's head, but Harold unintentionally intercepted the bullet with his butt as he came spinning down and landed in the water, just a hair away from death. "AAAAHG! DAMMIT! Damn damn damn damn DAMN!!!"

"Hey Molly Menstrual" Eva said over the com, "calm down. Kids watch this show, you know!?"

"""

"And a joke like that is appropriate!?" Courtney shouted. "I swear, I will kill Izzy before the end of this match or I will kill Harold afterwards!!!"

"""

"I thought my jokes were funny" Eva said with a shrug. "I mean, it's not like _just_ kids watch this show. Plenty of teens and...weird adults watch it too."

"""

"Wasn't that awesoem!?" Izzy comented. "When my hands, they were all bone and stuff! It hurt like HELL, but it was worth it. While I was ont the groud I took a picture of it and sent it to my friends and family and some Alaskan people I met last year, I think they were Inuit, all form my-" Izzy's segment ran too long and the confessional ran out of tape.

"""

* * *

Will Blue destroy their competition once more through superior strategy and logic, or will those nasty little twists nail Noah in his grave? Find out next week as the first capture and hazard are revealed!


	30. Well 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Middle point capture: Blue team! Izzy laid perfectly still on the metal point, hoping someone could come along soon to heal her so she had flesh on her hands again. The underwater door in front of the bored Owen and Gwen suddenly opened, and they swam up through it into the misslde base. Gwen rose up first with a heaving breath and Owen followed with desperate panting. He plopped onto the ground and started hyperventilating to catch his breath while Gwen just plainly panted and walked into the wider area.

"Hello?" Izzy weakly called. "I hear someone. If you want to kill me, please shoot me somewhere that retains dignity."

"Izzy?" Gwen called back.

"Hi Gwen!" Izzy shouted, trying hard to get some enthusiasm. "Can you help me here? I'm dying."

"Hang on" Gwen shouted. She found her way up the ramp and started healing from about halfway up. Courtney could tell something was going on, but she couldn't get anyone in her vision.

"Harold" Courtney called, "you stupid maggot! You blocked my perfect shot!"

"Sorry" Harold apologized. He had already dragged himself out of the canal and got healed by the revived Katie. "The good news is that they're all still dead, so we can storm them while they have their defenses down."

"Don't get too cocky" Courtney said. "Even if I stay up here the whole time, I can't get everyone that passes by. My bullets get major dampening when they go through walls, so anything other than a perfect headshot won't work. Besides that single stretch of metal the capture point is on, I can't defend perfectly from here."

"We'll take care of it" Harold said. He motioned Sadie and Katie to follow him. Duncan was alive as well, laying his sticky mines on their new forward base for protection. No measure was to extraneous anymore.

"""

"Okay" Duncan began, "who passed all the equipment Izzy got? At least one part of her has to be a war crime! I'd like to say that part is her head, but we can't really remove that from the game and say it's fair, can we?"

"""

"Okay" Owen heaved, "I'm ready now. Here we go!" Owen picked himself up and started shambling toward the open ground in the building. As he went on his merry way, he saw Sadie and Katie charge in through their entrance. Knowing that he wasn't expected on the battlefield, he shot out from the doorway and opened fire. Gwen looked at where Owen shot and saw Sadie and Katie retreating for cover behind the metal supports of the walkway.

"Okay!" Izzy shouted. "Looks like I'm back and bad! But...my weapon's still broke."

"Can you fix it?" Gwen asked, trying to find quick cover. Courtney was aiming at Izzy, who was now standing up, and was ready to fire. However, once again Harold found a way to make a mockery of his MVP status by climbing up the side of the building and entering through the window that Courtney was aiming through. She gritted her teeth and started shaking with frustration. Harold ducked and peeked out of the doorway just enough to see Izzy without her main weapon. Down at ground level, he saw Owen firing in bursts at the girls below, and then Justin came running in to back him up.

"I've only got one good shot at this" Harold told himself. He took out his disguise kit and prepared to take the form of Heather, just out of chance, when Courtney messaged him through his communicator.

"Oh Harold?" Courtney chirped.

"Yeah?" Harold whispered, trying to stay undercover.

"DUCK!!!" Courtney bellowed. She yelled so loud that her voice crackled over Harold's intercom and Izzy heard it. Without thinking, Izzy made a desperate move and rolled off the walk to hang on its side, unseen by Harold and Courtney. "GRRRR!!!" Courtney growled. "I was so close! DAMNIT!"

"""

"I wholeheartedly regret giving Harold the MVP as of now" Courtney said.

"""

"YEAAAAAHHH!!!" Owen roared. His ammo clip was getting low, but he didn't care. He and Justin, side by side, were fighting off the girls. Then, the rest of the team arrived to help finish the work. Geoff and Bridgette ran in with Duncan ahead of them. Heather invisibly stalked in as well with a disguise already equipped. Zeke was not there yet, he was still back in the base managing his turrets as the work on offense was too much for him.

"Too many!" Justin said.

"Keep it up!" Izzy encouraged. In the opposite Blue entrance, Beth and Lindsay came running in. Now it was more or less even. Trent was already moving up from his defensive position with Leshawna to increase the offensive line's numbers. Noah and Cody stayed behind as the only defensive force for the team, but they were more than confident that their services would be unnecessary.

"Izzy!" Gwen called. "Try to jump down and ax someone!"

"Ooh, good idea!" Izzy said. She was still being healed by Gwen at a distance, so despite Duncan's efforts to pin her with grenades, the Red team deemed their efforts to kill the un-killable as useless. Harold was the only one who would dare to attack her, as he stood over her with his long sword drawn and ready.

"Hey buddy" Izzy said. "You sure came back fast, didn't you?"

"The time has come, Izzy" Harold said, all serious, and made a stab at Izzy's hand. She switched from hand to hand as Harold continued stabbing at her to get her to drop.

"Heads up, girls!" Bridgette warned. Sadie and Katie looked up and saw Izzy dangling. Izzy took notice of someone blurting out her position, so she took her chance to drop and quickly equipped her ax. Harold took out his throwing knives and slashed Izzy's hands to get her to drop the ax. It worked, but now the crazy girl was still being healed from far away by Gwen and she was among the Red team soldiers.

"Izzy!" Gwen shouted, "retreat for now! You don't have a weapon!"

"Of course I do!" Izzy rebutted. She whipped out her Uzi and started spraying around wildly, doing little damage to everyone. Harold jumped down as well, with his sword pointed down to stab into Izzy's back, and made a thrust. He missed, but not by much, and provoked Izzy's attention.

"You again!?" Izzy shouted. She turned with her gun pointed at Harold's head, but when she fired she got empty clicks. She looked at it like it may be broken, but when she realized it was out she was already dead. A grenade plus two rockets and a sword to her chest was all it took to finally kill her. Still, the red team had a ways to go to get the center point won.

"""

"This isn't gonna be easy" Geoff said, "but we can do it. I know we can! Although, when I usually say that, it ends up jinxing us...in that case, no way. We're dead meat, okay?" He winked at the camera to finalize his suggestion.

"""

* * *

A minute passed. It was nearly time for the first major hazard to present itself. The teams had been whittled down to only the staring players, namely Gwen and her new healing buddy Justin against Duncan, Harold and Tyler. Everyone else was dead or spawning.

"How's the situation Gwen?" Noah asked over the intercom.

"It's looking a bit bleak here" Gwen replied. "Justin is holding out well, but we're seriously out gunned!"

"Do they have a medic with them?" Noah asked. Tyler came screaming around the corner with his scattergun equipped, but got blown away in one shot by Justin. Seeing his gun empty, Justin retreated and tried to kick away the active grenades that bounced at him while he reloaded.

"I don't think so" Gwen answered.

"Lindsay and Izzy just respawned" Noah said. "They should get there soon."

"Great" Gwen said.

"_Attention soldiers!" _Chris announced. _"May I have your attention!? The 7:20 train to Montreal and the 4:25 from Michigan will be arriving...now."_ At his cue, two huge freight trains came barreling through the base on the tracks. Duncan, who was firing from on the tracks, was taken out, and Harold lost contact with the enemy.

"Looks like you'll have to go up" Noah pointed out. "Don't worry, as long as you don't touch the trains you won't die gruesomely."

"Thanks for that" Gwen said with a smirk. "It's just Harold left, Justin. We got this." Justin gave a thumb up and equipped his shotgun, trying now to conserve ammo as much as he could.

"This is perfect!" Courtney exclaimed. "Now they _have_ to use that route to get here! I can take them out at my leisure!" Courtney extended the retractable microphone of her headset and made an impromptu announcement. "All teams en route to the central point, retreat! Standby outside and await my orders to charge. Harold, if you're still in there, exit through the ground-level exit now! Don't bother trying to take them out yourself!"

"Okay" Harold answered back with defeat.

"""

"I'm getting pumped" Harold said. "Every time I get on the battlefield, it's another chance to prove myself as part of the team! Now I just need to figure out how not to screw that up and I am in, baby!"

"""

Courtney reloaded her gun and sneered as she aimed down the straight path her targets had to walk. The trains occasionally bellowed with their loud whistles to remind everyone that they were still there, and at some odd intervals a small smoke stack would accompany a car and leave a trail that the soldiers could not see through. Gwen and Justin were caught in such a smoky trail, and Courtney took advantage of that. She viewed them with thermal vision and sniped them out as they stopped to cough. Once Justin died, Gwen retreated and waited just below the even floor of the walkway.

"Oh great" Gwen said. "I think I have a problem..."

"What's up!?" Izzy shouted. She and Lindsay came in with rather happy attitudes. Gwen realized her ubercharge was full and formed a plan.

"Listen girls" Gwen began, "Courtney is sniping at us from her own base. We can't fight her where we are. However, I have enough ubercharge to get one of you across the bridge. I don't think she can tell if we use it. Izzy, you need to get across more than I do, so I'll use it on you."

"Thanks" Izzy said.

"What should I do then?" Lindsay asked.

"Try to dodge" Gwen said. "Duck and weave around so she can't hit your head, okay?"

"Okay!" Lindsay said affirmatively.

"Once we get across" Gwen continued, "we may get exposed to more of her fire, so keep yourself on guard."

"Then we kill her" Izzy growled, cradling her flamethrower. "Roger!"

"It might not be that easy" Gwen said. "Anyway, let's just go for it." Soon, the smoke cleared from the walkway and Gwen started her plan. She turned on her ubercharge and started sprinting forward to keep up with Izzy. Lindsay was running ahead of them, hopping left and right and staying low, then high. Courtney tried to get a bead on the more mobile image, but couldn't, so she just shot randomly and hit Lindsay in the gut. It wasn't a mortal wound at all, but it was still damage. When Courtney aimed and fired into Izzy's head, nothing happened. She thought she missed.

"Okay" Courtney said, "again!" and again she fired, straight into Izzy's head. Nothing! It was then that Courtney realized Izzy was in ubercharge and she couldn't get sniped unless the bullet went straight into her head. Piercing through a wall dampened the bullet to the point where her MVP super-kill status was obsolete. Now all three girls got through.

"You okay, Izzy?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, yeah" Izzy said, scratching the dent in her forehead. "Man, she's starting to piss me off. I'm just gonna startled her for a sec." Izzy cranked her flamethrower to its spread function and shot a he cloud of fire that showed up as a bright flash in Courtney's scope. She was now temporarily blinded and had to pull away and blink to readjust.

"That..." Courtney started with a snarl, "that little-"

"""

It's important" Noah said "to always keep your cool in a war game. When things aren't going your way, you just have to curse under your breath and try harder. If you flip out, nothing good is going to happen. In fact, it could make you lose. That's why I'm always calm. In my head, I can get angry, but as long as it doesn't show externally, I'll be fine."

"""

"GGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!" Courtney roared. The girls, now in the doorway leading out to the open, could plainly hear her having a spasm fit, and decided to go for it.

"Hey, check it!" Izzy said. On top of a train car was, miraculously, a box of grenades spinning in place! Gwen switched off from Izzy to Lindsay and let Izzy run up the box car herself.

"There she it!" Duncan shouted. He came out the far end with Sadie and Katie behind him and pointed at Izzy on top of the car. Izzy got the grenades, her orange little globules of death, and hopped into the water. Gwen and Lindsay ran into the base and prepared to fight off the waves in minimal space. Once inside, they were under immediate rocket launcher fire from Geoff and Bridgette. Despite Gwen's healing powers, Lindsay couldn't get in the proper place to survive. Gwen took cover and tried to ask for back-up, but got a sharp and cold sword to the back. Harold used his disguise kit and grabbed her microphone.

* * *

"This is Gwen" Gwen's voice called. "We need some reinforcements in the Red base ASAP! Lindsay is down and Izzy is cornered."

"Roger that Gwen" Noah said. "Beth and Heather will be en route. Justin and Owen will be along as well once Justin spawns."

"Copy that" Harold replied in Gwen's voice. He clicked off the radio and crushed it in his hand, then looked at his palm and all the electronic shrapnel in it and started hopping in pain.

"Nice plan, bra" Geoff said. He reached out a hand for a high-five, which Harold unwittingly took, and ended up forcing more of the spiky shrapnel into Harold's hand.

"AHH!" Harold screamed.

"Sorry dude" Geoff said. Bridgette started healing Harold as he shook his hand in pain. Suddenly, the metal door flew open. Izzy stood with her demonic glare, tossing one of her two remaining grenades up and down. The first one was used to get rid of Courtney...

Before anyone could properly act, she tossed it and hit Harold straight in the face. After the initial explosion, the flaming goo spread out and engulfed Geoff and Bridgette as well. Three deaths with one fire grenade, and all in under five seconds with the help of her Uzi spread fire. As Izzy stomped past the threshold of the base, she equipped her flamethrower with a grin and started her deadly march through the flames of her wrath...

"""

"Okay" Heather began, "so I had this idea of how I could really easily cinch this MVP thing. I go in, behind Izzy wherever she is, and just wait a while. Eventually, Harold is bound to show up and try to get her attention. Well, before he says anything or challenges her like a dope, I pop out and knife him. Then, when Izzy turns around and sees him, before she gets angry I can tell her that he was just trying to kill her without announcing himself, like a jerk! Izzy will get so impressed by my effort, just from doing that once, that she'll argue for me until the cows come home!"

"""

Heather was on her way to act upon her strategy right now. She was sprinting ahead of Beth to get across the long platform when the trains stopped and Heather had to stop running as well.

"Now what?" Heather asked. Suddenly, a klaxon alarm blared throughout the map.

"_It's getting down to the wire, folks!"_ Chris announced. _"It seems that one of those trains derailed down the tracks, and it was carrying some radioactive waste! Now all the water in the map has become contaminated! If you step in it, you will take damage! If you stay in it you will die! Toodles!"_ There was something about the way that was announced that made Noah chuckle. Perhaps it was the fact that up until Chris's goodbye he talked in a shaky, deep and spooky voice, and the sudden shift in personality made the whole thing funny.

"What's wrong with these people?" Noah said laughing. He clicked on his microphone and tried to radio his team. "Gwen, give me an update. Reinforcements are en route. What's your situation?"

"I just got killed!" Gwen hollered. "Harold must have called for reinforcements after he killed me. I'm on my way back with Owen right now!"

"Oh crap" Noah replied calmly. "Heather, come in. You may be walking into a trap."

"Not to worry" Heather said. "Izzy took care of all that. Looks like a burn ward in here." Heather was indeed in the Red base and stalked around with her cloaking on. Izzy was pinned, she saw, by Ezekiel's turret. Now she was going to rectify that situation by sapping and stabbing, her favorite one-two punch. First she chose a disguise, this time Duncan, and ran in just around the corner.

"Oh, dude!" she called in her superior acting voice of Duncan. "Thank god! Izzy's going berserk on us, we can't flank her! Can you distract her for us?" Ezekiel pointed a gun at his leading officer and, with a salute, blasted a chunk of Heather's health away. She started decloaking in plain view of the turret and threw a sapping unit on it from afar. Zeke whacked it off with his wrench and let Heather slip away.

"Hahaha!" Heather haughtily laughed. "Now what? I'm here, and you haven't defended against me yet! You got me once, and that's good on you, but I'm still much smarter than you!"

"Why?" Zeke called. "Cause you're a girl? Look, I ain't saying girls are dumber than guys, but who says you're always smarter, eh?"

"Oh, it's not because I'm a girl" Heather said. A lit cigarette came flying out of seemingly nowhere and got lodged into the finer working components of Zeke's turret. The wires burned and crackled until, soon, the whole machine just blew up. "I'm smarter because spies are just smarter is all. Heather, who had a few inches easily above Zeke, stepped out from the shadows with her knife and revolver ready. Zeke frowned in defeat and got killed. Izzy took her initiative and captured the point, stressing the living Red team members to retreat into their final base.

"""

"That was easy" Izzy noted with surprise.

"""

"I refuse to lose again" Courtney growled. "You hear me! If something rhymes then it will get followed through! I! Refuse! To LOSE!!!"

"""

"I'm looking forward" Eva began "to wasting that pyromaniacal little freak. I'm gonna twist her head clean off her shoulders and throw it at her team mates! That'll be my fancy grenade!"

"""

"I'm super stoked about this crunch" Owen admitted. "I always tend to pull through when the going gets thought, you know? Except when I get hungry. Then I can't really do much at all."

"""

"Hopefully this match will end predictably" Noah said. "Aside from the environmental hazards, nothing should be slowing us down at all. I'd like to make a prediction, but that usually ends up tanking our chances."

"""

"We're doomed!" Geoff enthusiastically said with a wink and a smile.

"""

* * *

Perhaps the Red team really is doomed? Or perhaps not! The Blue team may yet falter to the evil designs of the extra hazards on the map and the Red team can yet take advantage of them. Will Heather be able to gain her team's respect and retain her dignity in doing so, or will nothing good happen for her? Can Noah keep his cool forever, or will that pot eventually boil over? Find out next week in the first official victory of Well here on Total Drama Team Fortress!


	31. Well 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

It all comes down to the wire now. The last remaining base was still being safeguarded by Eva, who was revved and ready to mow down every threat that crossed her threshold. Unfortunately, no one was crossing that threshold.

"Where are they!?" Eva growled.

"Attention Blue team" Noah called over the team-wide communicators. "Attention! This is not a sarcastic order! Will all available personnel begin advancing for the Red forward base. Repeat, all personnel to the Red forward base. We will converge as a whole team and attack at once. Izzy and Heather, stay put."

"Aye aye, captain" Izzy saluted. Heather leaned against the glass wall of the capture point and lit up a cigarette.

"What about the other team?" Heather asked over the waves. "What should we do if they attack?"

"Hold out" Noah said. "Gwen and Owen, what's the ETA?"

"Not long" Gwen said. "We're passing over the toxic river now."

"Awesome" Izzy whispered with glee.

"We'll need someone to take out the MVPs" Heather correctly pointed out.

"Izzy will take care of Harold" Noah said. "Hopefully we can all gang up on Courtney before Eva mows us down. Owen, you'll hold off Eva."

"Got it" Owen confirmed.

"""

"I'm sorry" Heather said, smoking again, "I thought we were the smart team. Does this strategy sound very smart? Everyone run in at the same time and get killed?" Heather took a break from her rant and puffed out some smoke. "This is why I should be the leader. If it were up to me, I'd have us wait it out until the other team just had to make a move, then we'd take them down in smaller, spread out numbers."

"""

It took only a minute, but the strategy was plainly developing. The entire Blue team had assembled inside the Red base, and the Red team was now organizing themselves for the inevitable rush of Blue soldiers. Courtney was watching patiently through her scope, seeing the walls as translucent blocks and the metal walkways in the other room as thin, grid-lined paths in the air. She could see their movements, partially, but the physical interference only granted her a small frame of vision.

"What's up, babe?" Duncan whispered.

"I think they're almost ready' Courtney said. "I can't really tell. I know Izzy is covering both doors in case we send Harold in, so I'll keep from doing that..."

"What about the second-story walkways?" Duncan pointed out. "We can get to them from in here, right?"

"They're keeping watch up there" Courtney said. "What really concerns me is Noah. I haven't seen him since he walked in. He's disappeared from my radar. He must be plotting something over there, something important."

"We should take him out first, then" Duncan asked.

"That depends" Courtney said, lowering her scope. "He's not an offensive class, so he won't be rushing in with everyone else. And he's smart, which is his worst attribute for us. If you see him, then yes, kill him. If not, I want full concentration on Izzy. She's a huge pain in our collective asses right now."

"I agree" Harold said in passing. He walked by, making his patrols for any suspicious figures, and left the two alone once more.

"He's good at popping up unexpectedly" Duncan observed. "So, do we really have a plan right now?"

"We do not" Courtney said. "But, not to worry. Aside from the obvious, like killing Izzy and keeping my line of sight clear, we shouldn't worry too much. This is an easy place to defend, after all."

"Not that it counts for much" Duncan said. "Not against them."

"Stay positive" Courtney said, going back to scouting. "As long as we can run that clock out, we'll be fine."

"And if the next environment thing doesn't end up killing all of us" Duncan added. He then walked away to make his own patrol.

"""

"Am I seriously the only one" Duncan began "that's paranoid about these environmental things? They could make the roofs cave in or...heck, whatever they want! I'm particularly worried about that 'flash-flood' one. I survived that once on the show, but I don't consider myself _that _lucky..."

"""

* * *

Of course Duncan isn't the only one worried about these surprise twists.

"I'm concerned" Cody said "about those environmental hazards."

"How so?" Noah asked. "The worst that could happen is a flash-flood. Even then, all we have to do is head up and trust our best swimmers to capture and undefended point. You got that, guys?" Apparently Trent and Justin, who turned and gave affirmative thumbs up, had been nominated as the best swimmers on the team with no actual proof or bias.

"But..." Cody nervously said, "the radioactivity in the water?"

"Oh, yeah" Noah said. "That'd kill us pretty quick."

"""

"Noah's nonchalantness" Gwen said "about dying in this game is alarming. I know we never actually _die_ die, but if one of dies in this rush it could seriously screw the team up."

"""

"Careful" Heather chided. "If you jinx us and the water starts rising, we'll blame it on you." Cody curled back nervously against his dispenser and clutched his knees.

"Ah, don't mess with him" Noah said. "He has a decent point. I'll can make some aquatic gear just in case, so I can save somebody if a flood comes up."

"Who will you save?" Heather asked.

"Gwen" Noah answered bluntly "because she has the medi-gun."

"Thanks Noah" Gwen called. The friendliness among the higher-ups on the team was starting to sicken Heather, so she left and grouped herself with the other girls who reluctantly took her in.

"Say Heather" Lindsay started, "I have a question. I've been thinking about your advice, you know, to show my love for Tyler by shooting him."

"Yeah?" heather said.

"Well" Lindsay began "the more I think about it the less it makes sense. Shouldn't I _not_ shoot him so he knows I don't hate him?"

"That's not how psychology works" Heather said. "The more you retreat, the more someone will pursue. You want this relationship to work, right?"

"Totally!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Then trust me" Heather said. "Guys always go after the unavailable or cold-shoulder girls more often then the open and boy-hungry girls."

"Then why aren't you dating?" Leshawna asked. Heather glared silently as an answer, which made Leshawna laugh to herself.

"I wonder how the other team is preparing" Beth asked. On the other side of the thick walls, the other team was already prepared. Duncan had four sticky grenades over each doorway, Courtney was watching from the far left walkway with Katie and Sadie at the far right. Geoff and Bridgette stood on the stairs, with Geoff standing and Bridgette crouching behind him, and they faced the left entrance. Zeke had his turret build at the ledge to watch over the entirety of the room. Tyler and Harold both ran around, keeping a tight patrol with their pistols (and knives) armed. DJ and Eva stood center stage, right on the point, ready to start firing at anything that moved. She was the other, more push-powerful turret that her team depended on.

"Come on" Courtney whispered. "We're more than ready...bring it on..."

"""

"It's a good day to die" Eva said, pounding her fist into her hand.

"""

Geoff, in order to counter-jinx his team, made a noose motion and pantomimed choking for a bit before shooting a thumb-up and clicking his tongue.

"""

"This is it" Izzy dramatically began. "This will be the deciding battle. Only one team will escape with their egos intact. The other team will walk off the field a shattered and shriveled lump of their former selves. Who ever wins this round will certainly win the game!" Izzy paused to pull a pyro-tradition gas mask over her face and pulled up her flamethrower. "Let the carnage begin!" She fired at the camera, ending her session with a touch of dramatic grace and flare...and fire.

"""

* * *

"Engage" Noah commanded.

"Here they come!" Courtney shrieked. Both teams tensed up in unison, all the guns began revving. The toxic water started diluting, a new hazard was on the way. Right now, the army's clash! Owen rushed in solo in the Red team's left entrance, a heavy-duty MVP dispenser strapped to his back and an odd helmet on his head.

"Damn!" Courtney cursed. "That's obviously an anti-headshot helmet!" The soldier pair, Beth and Justin, came through the right door and started firing at total random They both traded shots with Courtney, their nearest target, and forced her cautiously backwards. Geoff struggled to do any damage to the two as they leaped and dodged around, shooting rockets at him and Bridgette the whole time but only hitting Geoff.

"Stay behind me, babe" Geoff said. "I've got this!" Bridgette admired his adamant nature towards protecting her and felt honestly safe.

"Boom time" Duncan lowed. He detonated his stickies, damaging Justin near the door and destroying Owen's helmet. Smoke started coming out of Owen's back, but the dispenser seemed to be working. He and Eva were locked in battle. Zeke's turret fired at Owen as well, but he had to run back to get the supplies to get it to level three before the Blues started attacking.

"YEAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Owen roared. He ignored the bullets from the turret and made a mighty stomp forward, still firing at Eva. Eva, who didn't have the luxury of infinite ammo, started to realize her desperate situation. Thinking irrationally and selfishly, Eva started charging forward with DJ leisurely walking behind her.

"RAAAAAHHHH!!!" Eva shouted likewise.

"""

"Everyone needs a proper rival" Eva lectured. "Still, I don't see why mine has to be Mr. Ton-o-fun."

"""

Eventually Eva ran out of bullets, and instead of switching to a shotgun, she used her maniac strength and MVP powers to super-jump down the steps and land beside Owen. "Game over, tubby" Eva growled. Owen couldn't snap his aim around quick enough and got tackled. Now Owen was stuck on his back, trapped from touching the floor by the large metal box on his back.

"AH!" Owen screamed. "That wasn't fair! I demand a re-do!" Before Eva could wittily snap off at Owen, everyone's nightmare came through the doors.

"I knew there would be a trap waiting" Izzy said, "so I waited a second before charging in. Now I'm gonna start up this barbecue!" Izzy started flaming around wildly, hitting Eva and soaking her in flames. She was dead in seconds. Now that the horrible hound of Hades was unleashed, the rest of Blue team came storming in. Geoff and Bridgette continued their tandem assault on Beth and Justin, but now they had to deal with Gwen healing them and Trent on the upper story catwalk.

"Sniper!" Geoff called. Trent's body fell dead. Afterwards, his head followed. Harold was behind him before he even entered the room, having slipped out in the initial chaos and predicting the moves the Blues would take.

"""

"The snipers go high" Harold explained, "the heavy infantry goes low. It's basic strategy, almost too basic. What I'm worried most about are the miscellaneous classes, like spies and Izzy and the engineers. They can go where ever in a full rush!"

"""

"Owen is down" Noah informed. "Leshawna and Lindsay, you're close. Get him up stat!"

"You got it" Leshawna sighed. She and her scrawny other half tried lifting Owen up while he struggled to throw his weight and help. "You defend me girl" Leshawna grunted. "I think I got this."

"Okay" Lindsay confirmed. She pulled out a pistol and started shooting at things, mostly the turret Zeke ran back to that was still shooting at an otherwise invincible Owen. Just as Zeke neared the turret a small glow flew into it and started to break it. Heather was on the field now and ran for the stairs with her revolver armed. She shot the turret, which was now being destroyed by her cigarette, and broke it. Zeke, however, was now in enough of a rage to fight back. He forced her to get behind cover at the base of the stairs with his shotgun, and then he dealt with Lindsay and Leshawna who couldn't get Owen up.

* * *

"AHAHAHAHA!!!" Izzy guffawed. "COME GET SOME, FISHIES! THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM ON THE HIBACHI!!!" Izzy was ripping all around the lower floor, mostly causing a distraction from the other active fighters. Courtney tried to shoot her, but the constant movement made it difficult.

"Harold" Courtney ordered, "go take care of her!"

"Yes ma'am" Harold said. He jumped down with knives in hand and landed away from Izzy. She noticed him, but got stuck with knives before turning to kill him.

"You're dead meat, ninja boy!" Izzy growled. She cranked the knob on her flamethrower to the 'nozzle' mode and shot a straight, compressed line of doom clear across the room...at Courtney. OF course she hit, but the distance between them only made her catch fire rather than die horribly or do damage. The fire served as a deterrent that forced Courtney away from the fight again. Now Harold ran in to the unprepared Izzy with his sword drawn.

"I got it" Izzy said, throwing away her flamethrower. "So you really _are_ a ninja, huh? Fine. A real ninja can dodge BULLETS!" Izzy whipped out her Uzi and started spraying around.

"Kick his ass, Izzy!" Gwen called. She saw that her ubercharge was full and ran up to nudge Justin's super-sexy back with her gun. He turned and winked, a reply signal, and they engaged the ubercharge. Now Justin was invincible and rushing. Beth was behind the, using both Justin and Gwen as shields to absorb the damage that negated off them. Across the room, Zeke died from the focused fire of Lindsay's pistol and Leshawna's grenade gun. Now they were attacking the rest of the living forces while Izzy and her Uzi were busy.

"Perfect shot" Heather lowed. She deactivated her cloak and made a lunge with her knife at an unguarded DJ. He let out a girlish scream, which Katie and Sadie heard. They moved from trying in vain to hit Izzy to defending the others at the point by randomly firing at Heather. She dodged the first rocket, but a totally random Bridgette leaping out and holding her down locked her in place to get blown up by the next two.

"""

"Sometimes" Bridgette proudly began "even a medic has to get her hands dirty, but boy was it fun.

"""

"Red team!" Courtney ordered from the interior base room, "immediately fall back and defend the point. Harold obeyed the quickest, jumping and leaping around while still dodging Izzy's sloppy fire and stood on the point. DJ, Katie and Sadie, Tyler, Geoff and Bridgette all fell back while the encroaching forces pressed forward. Leshawna finally managed to get Owen up and walking again. Meanwhile, Courtney and Eva were preparing to march out in tandem. "Fire as soon as you see someone" Courtney privately ordered. Eva nodded and went out a different door. As soon as Courtney set foot outside her inner base she heard a loud clanking. She looked to the left and saw a customized rocket turret aimed at her with Noah working behind it. It fired, decimated her instantly, and started idling again.

"Hi" Noah said sarcastically late and flat. Cody had built his own camping turret at the rear of the Red's base to prevent anyone from easily getting back in the game.

"Oh, crap!" Geoff shouted. "How'd they get around us!?"

"You're welcome!" Izzy shouted. He distraction had worked so well that when Sadie and Katie started focus-firing at her out of instinct, Noah and Cody were able to briskly jog past them without anyone noticing. What an embarrassing upset for the Red team. Perhaps now their morale is done for?

"_Attention fighter!" _Chris began. _"This is an emergency warning! A Flash Flood warning!"_ A wave of woe washed over the soldiers. _"The Flash Flood will start...one minute ago!" _At the tone of Chris's playful voice, water started rushing quickly into the base.

"Oh total hell" Noah said. The water quickly climbed up the stairs and the unexpectedly strong pull of the drainage tide yanked everyone it touched out of the base. "Now that's totally cheap."

"Yeah" Cody agreed. "What's the word? Hax?"

"It's pronounced 'hack'" Noah explained. "The x makes it cool...I guess." Eventually, everyone was pulled out by the water and forced to float over the deep canals. Most of the Blue team tried to take refuge on Owen, but he could only hold Izzy and Noah without sinking. The Red team floated hopelessly, using their guns as floaties when possible. Thankfully, DJ already had his floaties on and was floating just fine. Although the Blue tam made the attempts to take the underwater point, the pull into the deep underwater canal was too strong and Justin and Trent ended up drowning. Eva drowned because her gun was too heavy. Eventually the teams started drifting closer together, but the sense of defeat was so huge in both teams that no one bothered to shoot. Instead, they took this time to project their shame on each other for the feint hope of sympathy. The clock was nearing zero and the water only continued to rise up past the second story of the middle building...

"So..." Izzy started, "who wants to play cards?" Noah groaned.

* * *

"In accordance to the newly re-augmented second edition reality-show version rules" Chris announced to the audience, "a fame ending like this, with one team having more bases than the other and running the clock, will go to the losing team because the winning team couldn't get the last base in time. It's just for the extra incentive to actually try and have a shut-out victory. So, that makes it Red team 1 Blue team zilch. Can the Blue team make a much-deserved comback for this stunning, absolutely stunng loss? Or will we continue to mess with their teenage minds? Find out next week here on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!"_


	32. Well 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

We now join the teams for some spotlight confessionals in between the rounds. The flood waters have receded, hopefully never to come back again.

"""

"I can't believe this!" Noah shouted. "Out of all the last-second, reality-show-twist-style rule changes, this one was my least favorite. It takes all the challenge and fun out of the game. Now that Red team knows they can do that they'll just try to hang back with their defense in the last room for the whole game!"

"""

"Noah must be thinking" Courtney said "that we're just going to stay in our rear base for the rest of the game! Well, he's wrong. I'm in it to win it, and I refuse to let another slight like that upset what's supposed to be our flawless victory! I'm taking my game to him, one hundred percent!"

"""

"No biggie" Heather said, lighting up. "I can rebound in the next match. Totally."

"""

"I think Heather smokes now, eh?" Ezekiel noted. "I mean, where else did she get those cigarettes?"

"""

"Harold's gotten annoying now" Izzy complained. "But that's okay. He still can't stand my fire, so I can keep him out of the kitchen...whatever that means..."

"""

"I'm getting good cardio in this game" Owen said, panting. "All the running around...hurts...but it's a good hurt!...Ow."

"""

"It's gonna be close" Duncan said "but in the end, we've proven that just raw, guerrilla tactics can out-maneuver the contrived and complex strategies any day. Except those times we didn't do it, but those don't really count."

"""

"It's great" Bridgette said "spending all this time with Geoff as a team mate. I almost forgot how fun he was just to be around, you know?"

"""

Geoff was busy admiring his guns...specifically his rocket launcher. "I wonder if I could fire a potato out of this...?" he intelligently pondered.

"""

Now that the snippets of everyone's intellect were over, the match count-down resumed. The teams departed their bases and decided on their plans of action.

"We can't afford another stupid twist screwing us up" Noah said.

"Well what can we do?" Gwen asked. "Try to kill the water before it rises again?"

"That's one thing" Noah said "but the main emphasis of the hazard events is time. WE need to beat the clock."

"You mean capture their base" Trent began in surprise "in less than three minutes!?"

"It's impossible!" Owen shouted. "We're dooooomed!" Izzy slapped him and brought him back to his senses. "Sorry. I was just living up the moment again!" Izzy slapped him again for the heck of it.

"It shouldn't be impossible" Izzy said. "Just really, really, really, really, really hard!"

"Yes" Noah agreed. "Now, we can't be positive as to what Courtney is planning on doing, but I can assume she is going to turtle and stay as far back as possible for the match to get an easy win again."

"Why don't we do that?" Leshawna asked. "We have way more defense than they do. We'll clear them out easy!"

"That's not the point of the game" Noah said. "Besides, as hard as it is to swallow, we'd lose that battle." Everyone made a united gasp of surprise at their downtrodden leader. "Overwhelming offense always topples unbreakable defense. Especially with Harold as a super-spy, I can't see us holding out long enough. Therefore, our only choice is to use our impassible defense and create a moving wall. Owen, bend over."

"Okay" Owen casually agreed. Noah placed a turret platform on his back and connected it to his building console.

"Cody," Noah said, "it's time to use the 'moving wall' strategy. You feeling confident?"

"I'm 110% confident!" Cody modestly gloated. He started spinning his wrench between his fingers, but it flew away and smashed into Izzy's head. Cody just winced.

"Everyone has to stick together" Noah said as he remotely assembled his turret. "If we try to split apart the Reds will see through us and stop us." Izzy got up from behind Cody with her gas mask on and her ax raised. "Izzy!" Noah shouted. Izzy stopped her attempted attack and innocently posed with her ax behind her and he mask off. "You're job is to kill Harold before anyone else."

"Got it" Izzy saluted. She pulled Heather aside and got her into a private huddle. "You're job is to make sure I don't have to kill Harold. Got it?"

"What should I do?" Heather whispered. "You're the one with the flamethrower."

"It'll help you get the vote" Izzy said. "The better you do, the easier it will be to sway the vote for you." She had a point, Heather realized, and she agreed.

"Okay" Heater said. "I'll make sure he doesn't bother anyone!" The girls shook hands, unseen by most, but Gwen was able to see past the other smoke and mirrors of her jabbering team mates.

"""

"Something's up with Izzy and Heather" Gwen noticed. "I have a really uneasy feeling about this..."

"""

"Justin" Noah called on, "you're part of our major offense force here. You need to stay with Beth, Lindsay, Trent and Gwen to form a powerful force to fight the Reds with."

"Got it" Justin said. At the sound of his voice, the girls and Owen swooned. Izzy had to slap herself to get out of the trance she was in. Then she slapped Heather to the floor and held herself proudly.

"Don't second guess yourselves" Noah warned. "We can do this. Heck, we _will_ do this. A great strategy can overpower great power any day." With the Blue team's confidence held high, Noah ordered them all to move out to the middle base. All eleven soldiers moved up with Owen sporting a huge mechanical monstrosity that was still self-assembling on his back. The second wave was beginning...

* * *

Meanwhile, as the Blues strategized in their expert way, the Red were strategizing in a more casual way.

"GO! GO! GO! GO!" Courtney ordered. Her plan was to not have a plan. All eleven Red team members simply headed out in whatever fashion they wished for the middle base. Courtney stayed in the rear of the pack with Eva lading the charge. DJ stayed on her as a healer out of respect for Geoff and Bridgette' relationship.

"""

"You've got to respect Geoff" DJ said. "He tries his best to make things work, even in the middle of a battle. Of course, that can sometimes backfire on us, especially with a clumsy girl like Bridge."

"""

"Should we split up?" Duncan asked Courtney as they ran.

"No way!" Courtney demanded. "This is a one-hundred percent attack. If we divide our forces we'll be vulnerable to getting overwhelmed!"

"I mean at the doors" Duncan said, pointing out that there were two entrances.

"Yeah" Courtney agreed, "let's do that. You take care of the other team."

"Alright" Duncan said. "Hey, Eva and DJ, Harold and Zeke, come with me, we're breaking in the other way!" Eva immediately crossed the first bridge over the canal and started jogging across the field to the other door into the middle building. Duncan took his team left, Courtney's bulk force would charge in from the right.

"Okay guys" Courtney said over the communications system, "here's what we do. Noah probably still thinks we're going to stay back for the game, but he's wrong. Instead, we're going to charge him and take his bases before we have to suffer through another stupid flash flood. Tyler, you're our guy. Run at full speed and capture everything you can!"

"You got it!" Tyler enthusiastically said.

"Duncan" Courtney ordered, "how's your aim with the sticky mines?"

"Great" Duncan said.

"Cover the base as soon as you go in" Courtney ordered. "Eva, give him cover."

"Uh-huh" Eva agreed.

"Harold" Courtney said, "you know your mission."

"""

"Kill Izzy!" Harold growled.

"""

"Kill Noah and Cody!" Courtney commanded.

"Wait, what?" Harold asked. "I thought-"

"Fighting Izzy takes too much time" Duncan said "and time is something we don't have in this match. Maybe some other time, dude."

"Right" Harold said with a hint of disappointment. "You can count on me."

"Great" Courtney said. "Right now we need to watch out for Izzy and Owen. Now that we know they can build stuff on his back they'll be relying on him a lot more. And Izzy is just annoying."

"So we ignore Izzy for now" Duncan summarized "and take out everyone else so she has no one to defend. Then Harold can take his sweet time killing her."

"That's the plan" Courtney proudly said.

"And that's the whole plan?" Eva asked. "Where's the details?"

"We don't need details" Courtney said. "We just need to kill the Blue team." Her very basic plan seemed to sit well with her team. No one had any more suggestions or complaints, maybe because of the fear instilled by Eva about making unnecessary suggestions, and the team stood totally ready to charge in and fight. On the other side of the box cars, the Blue team was ready as well, and they all stood silently listening to the Red team's conversation.

"""

"Knew it" Noah said, pointing to himself with both thumbs. "Come on, I totally nailed it. Who's da man? I believe it is me!"

"""

"We ready team?" Noah whispered. He got a barrage of positive responses and one no from Lindsay.

"We can do it, girl!" Izzy quietly cheered. "Just believe in yourself!"

"I'm still not so sure" Lindsay groaned. "I mean, three minutes isn't a long time...or it is, but it's too long. Oohh...all this strategy-ing had gotten my head hurting. And all this moisture is killing my hair."

"If you can't believe in yourself" Izzy said "then just believe in someone else. Then see how much they believe you and use that belief for yourself! You can do it! You can murder your boyfriend in cold-blood endlessly! We all know you can kill Tyler and then throw the body at his team mates out of pure rage!!!" Lindsay shirked away from the crazed Izzy and began thinking.

"""

"When this match is over" Lindsay decided "I'm gonna find Tyler and apologize for being so...mean. Then I'm gonna give him a special gift that I've been saving since my last boyfriend."

"""

"_Alrighty!"_ Chris happily began, much to the competitors' collective dread, _"Technically, three minutes have passed, so let's start the match with a surprise Hazard event!" _Everyone became shocked and angered. Suddenly, the railroad crossing bells clanged and the lights started flashing. The doors to the building opened, but so did the doors to the distant train tunnels.

"Off the tracks!" Noah ordered.

"RUN!" Courtney likewise commanded. The teams ran off the tracks at the last second and let two trains come barreling through at full speed. It seemed to be another impassible-train type of hazard, but something seemed off about the interactivity of these trains. Suddenly, the screeching roar of brakes echoed through the grounds, and seconds later, a terrible crash was heard. The trains had derailed inside the middle base!

"Heather!" Izzy called. "Give me your knife quick."

"What!?" Heather asked. "Why?"

"Now!" Izzy demanded. Heather didn't ask questions. She got out her knife and threw it to Izzy. Izzy got out her ax and walked over to the wall under one of the windows. She stared up at it for a bit, waiting for some unknown opportunity, and then she started climbing up the wall, using the knife and ax as picks.

"Izzy!" Gwen shouted.

"Give 'em hell, girl" Noah shouted.

"Don't let them in!" Leshawna added. Izzy climbed into the window and tossed Heathers' knife back down. Now she was alone among the smoking, smoldering wreckage from the trains. She could see the point, unguarded and ready to capture, but she also saw the twisted metal all around the point.

"I looks like" Izzy observed "it could collapse at any second!"

"_The name of the hazard"_ Chef explained _"is the one-shot train wreck! Down below, there are scraps of metal for ammunition and spare medic packs for healing! Up above, the metal structure has started to give way, and now only one person can stand on the point at one time, or it will fall and be lost in the flames below!"_

"It's win win for me!" Izzy said. "I can stand those flames without a problem!" Suddenly, three knives came whizzing through the air. Izzy didn't move, not needing to dodge the knives that settled into the metal at her feet, and she glared up. Harold stood across the walkway in the hot, rippling air with his sword out.

"Well now you have a new problem" Harold declared. "Me!"

"Harry!" Izzy hissed. She took out her flamethrower and pulled down her gas mask. "Heh. Let's burn this baby down!"

* * *

"Well that was annoying" Noah noted. The entrances to the building were ignited with fire at the start of the match, preventing anyone from getting in, but now the fires were dying down. "Okay, slight change in plans. Izzy will take care of the capture while the rest of us use the wrecked trains as cover and shoot out the Red team. Human tank, you good to go?"

"You know it!" Owen said. His cybernetic armor had finished assembling with the help of Noah's wrench. He had his headshot-proof helmet, a dispenser constantly healing and replenishing his ammo, two shoulder-mounted gatling turrets and wrist-mounted double rocket launchers. He was a cyborg warrior with far too many guns. This also meant, however, that all of Noah's building power was spent and all he could do was maintain his current creations and shoot with his pistol.

"Who do I heal?" Gwen asked.

"Anyone" Noah said. "Trent maybe?" Trent and Gwen looked at each other and smiled.

"""

"Yes!" Gwen cheered, pumping her arms. "Finally! It's been forever since we were together."

"""

Gwen immediately started healing Trent and everyone charged in. Up above they could see streams of fire shooting out and ignored it. Izzy was obviously battling someone and charging in to help would bring more trouble than needed.

"""

"I'm just following orders, now" Heather said. "No one can blame me for what Izzy wanted me to do."

"""

Heather cloaked and ran up the walk. She could see Izzy trying to nail a very elusive and agile Harold. Heather tried to find an opportunity to fight the other spy, but Izzy's maniacal cackling and seemingly endless supply of methane and hydrogen and other combustible gases were holding out easily. Shots started ringing out along the metal walkway.

"Kill Izzy!" Courtney ordered.

"Oh crap" Heather said. She rolled into the back room before she was spotted and drew out her revolver. "Well, Izzy's got Harold, so I guess I'll help the others deal with the ground troops."

"Help!" a weak, nerdy voice called from the window. Heather turned and saw Cody come crawling up from below. Apparently the heroics of Izzy had inspired him to try and haul his weak frame up with his stick arms from the ground and he somehow made it. "Anyone?" Heather ran over and pulled him up with one hand. "Oh, thanks Heather. Are we winning yet?"

"Who knows" Heather said. "What are you doing up here?"

"Extra precautions" Cody said. He took out his toolbox and started building a turret. It was just in range that it would fire at the enemies who took the point but back enough that he could repair it without getting hit by splash damage. He also got rid of his pistol and converted it into the scrap needed to build a dispenser for him to sandwich between. "Now we can't possibly lose this base."

"Unless the point falls down" Heather said. Cody stopped pounding his wrench and winced slightly. "That...probably won't happen though. Great thinking Cody!" Heather praised. Cody became even more uncomfortable as Heather left down the left ramp to shoot at the Red.

"""

"Is it me" Cody asked "or is Heather slowly becoming...cheerful and helpful?"

"""

"RAAAAAAAWGH!" Owen roared. His super-powered turret suit and gatling gun powered by the dispenser on his back tore through the Red line. Everyone was forced into hiding form him, and the battle had reached a one-sided ceasefire. The Blues held all the cards now, and the Reds only hope was Harold winning against Izzy. No headway was being made in the battle. Harold still managed to dodge and otherwise elude Izzy's longest fire reach while she continued to spray her heat around wildly.

"Things look good right now" Noah told himself. "Let's move upwards!"

"Don't let them get any closer!" Courtney ordered. "Full-force attack!" Eva was the first to duck out of cover and jumped up to the platform. Owen caught sight of her and pointed his wrists at her. He fired both rockets, knocking her back and down from the platform into the broken train cars. Luckily she landed on a med pack and was fine.

"Let's go!" Owen ordered. He slowly stomped his way up, all the extra weight slowing him down to a near crawl while Noah walked right by him in no particular hurry.

"Hurry it up there, buddy" Noah said.

"Everyone duck!" Trent shouted. Everyone did duck, except Izzy, and a loud sniper bullet roared just past Noah's body. Courtney was shooting from behind cover, but Trent knew she was shooting.

"Nice warning" Noah thanked. Trent waved to him and ran up. Everyone joined him and hopped over Cody's fully built turret to watch Izzy fight.

"They're gone now!" Harold announced. "You can run up now!"

"Let's go!" Courtney brightly ordered. "I can take them out through the wall and they won't know it!" Suddenly, the fire stopped and Izzy switched instantly to her Uzi. She started spraying and running forward. Harold ran forward as well and threw some knives. Izzy leaped back, lowering her arm and shooting near the point, , then as her clip emptied she scoffed and drew out her ax.

"Come close, Harry" Izzy taunted. "Or don't you feel lucky? Well Punk?"

"Ha ha" Harold sarcastically laughed. "You sound like my cousin! Alright Izzy, I will fight you! Come here!"

"I asked first!" Izzy declared.

"I'm not going over there" Harold said. "The turret will kill me!"

"What turret?" Izzy asked, totally unaware of her team's position and the goings-on of the battle below. Suddenly Courtney slid up the walkway behind Harold and aimed past Izzy. Izzy knew what she would do and tried to stop it by swinging to her side, but Harold impeded her with his knives.

"Bye-bye" Courtney lowed "Lindsay!" Courtney shot and saw the bullet pierce straight through Lindsay's head. However, strangely, Lindsay's body didn't fall. "What?" Beyond the wall, Noah had recycled Owen's wrist rockets to build cardboard decoys of his team mates. The actual Lindsay and other members with decoys were hugging the floor.

"Close call" Noah observed. "Looks like Courtney likes you the least, Lindsay."

"Great" Lindsay sighed.

* * *

The battle is seriously heating up! Red versus Blue on top of the point! Will this hazard of one-time capture prevent either team from making a decision, or will the resident maniac Izzy snap and try to capture to kill Harold? Will unstoppable force destroy the unmovable object? Can MVP Eva kill that MVP-aided Owen? Will the stupid movie puns ever end with Harold and Izzy? Can Heather pull a fast one and win the respect of her entire team before Owen steals the show!?!? Find out next week! This is _Total Drama Team Fortress!_


	33. Well 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

As the battle went on, the trump cards started stepping forward reluctantly. There was Izzy, everyone's living nightmare, and Harold the nerdy white-knight of the Red team. Izzy twirled her ax around her wrist and Harold did the same with his sword. They stopped to stare each other down in front of the point and prepared for a battle!

"Go Izzy!" Gwen cheered from her cover. Courtney was still pumping wall-piercing rounds through the wall and Noah was still fixing his decoys to confuse her. Courtney, instead of getting confused, was getting pissed.

"""

"Shenanigans!" Courtney shouted. "I call professional bull**** on that!"

"""

"Should we help yet?" Gwen asked.

"Izzy's got this" Noah said. "If we try to barge in we'll just get tangled up in a fight we can't win."

"What should we do?" Cody asked.

"Wait for an opening" Noah said "then Trent, you pop out and shoot someone other than Harold."

"Got it" Trent said. "Gwen, can you make me invulnerable from around a blind corner?"

"Yeah" Gwen said. "Once I start healing you I either have to stop or you have to leave my effective range. I can heal through walls."

"Then I'll try to take out Courtney" Trent declared. "If I can't, then I'll try for someone else."

"Anyone else" Noah said. "Right now the morale balance is almost the same for both teams. If either side loses a single solder, they'll break down and lose. We have to make sure we aren't that side."

"Got it" Trent said. As Trent prepared himself mentally to pop out and felt Courtney's blind fire graze past him, the battle outside began to escalate in tension. Izzy and Harold were standing opposite each other from the point. They were just outside the ring, feeling the metal move and hearing it bend, both of them feeling some form of dread.

"""

"This was it" Harold said. "If I could finish Izzy without making the point fall down, I can walk away a hero! But, if I can't then Izzy will take the point down in the flames. Even if I kill her and the point falls, none of us can survive to capture it except Eva and we'll need her up top. It's really, really nerve wrecking...but I'm cool."

"""

Izzy made the first move. She stomped down on the point and felt the whole thing start to sink. Harold backed off and gave her an opening in his mid section. She made a sweep with her ax and skimmed Harold's concave gut. He reflexively sucked his stomach in and scooted his feet backwards. Izzy stomped down on the point, shaking the metal, and started capturing.

"No!" Courtney screamed. "Harold, stop her!" Courtney was nearly silenced, a non-lethal but damaging shot piercing her chest.

"Darn it!" Trent growled. "S close."

"Calm down" Noah calmly said "and try again. It's not like we have any real time limit here."

"How many minutes has the match been going?" Gwen asked. Her practical mind shined through and put that biting question on everyone's lips. There were about thirty seconds left until the next hazard. The train wreck fires were slowly dying down and soon the whole thing would magically disappear to make way for the next fresh horror.

"Shoot for the head, Trent!" Heather cheered. He loaded his gun, ducked out quickly and got grazed by a high-powered Courtney round. She was leaning against a quickly-built dispenser and smiled. Meanwhile, Harold was trying to get Izzy off the point with his throwing knives. Most of them sailed past Izzy and planted into the metal around the point, bringing a smile to the girl's hidden face. Izzy took a step forward, near the Red end of the point, and readied an attack. Harold, as a spy and agility-based super class, was faster and stepped in to stab her with his longer ranged sword. Now that he knew how close was just close enough, Harold could stay out of Izzy's range and attack at will!

"Ow!" Izzy groaned. The cut wasn't deep, but it damaged her. Still, she refused to give up her spot on the point. Instead, she kept her toes on the circular metal and made a high kick to Harold's throat. He blocked it but it still threw him off guard enough for Izzy to punch him with her deadly ax and send him back a few steps. Then she reequipped her Uzi and reloaded it. Harold wouldn't let her get the range advantage, so he made a lunging thrust. He hit right through her chest, throwing her that much closer to death. Izzy panicked and started firing madly at her feet.

"Looks like it's over, Izzy" Harold declared. He picked Izzy up, somehow, and moved her over the mangled metal wreck of the still present trains. "I win!"

"Maybe now" Izzy said, "but in a moment you'll lose!" Harold presumed she meant the turret. Noe that Izzy wasn't blocking it, the level-three turret could get a lock on Harold if he got too close to it.

"Just capture, Harold" Courtney ordered. "I can take the turret out."

"So can we" Katie said for her partner Sadie. Once the Reds made that decision, cyber-powered Owen stomped around the corner and started opening fire. Harold dropped Izzy down to the floor and stomped on the point to undo the Blue capture. Some very discomforting metallic creaks were heard.

"""

"Heat expands things" Izzy explained briefly. "The whole time I was shooting my flamethrower at Harold, I wasn't really shooting at Harold. I was shooting at the point. Yeah. That way, when enough force is applied, it will drop regardless. I planned to take a dive since the fight started so I could capture it from down below! That's why I'm a genius!"

"""

The metal point, with Harold on it, started falling quickly down. Out of panic, Harold jumped up, got caught in Owen's gatling gun fire, and died. In the end, Izzy had still won the war, and she weakly but gleefully moved her finger onto the point and finished the capture just before the hazard clock ran out.

"_Capture, Blue!"_ Chris announced.

"NO!" Courtney snapped. "Everyone, drop down and recapture!"

"On it" Duncan said. Izzy had died from he wounds, but to be sure the soldiers fired rockets at her. If not before, she was dead now. Duncan sprayed the point with sticky mines and dropped with his squad, including Tyler. "Cap! Cap! Cap!"

"Where?" Tyler asked. "I'm not wearing a hat!" Duncan punched him onto the point for that.

"Let's get this imbalanced" Noah ordered. "Owen, jump on down there. Gwen, give him some uber."

"Yes sit" Gwen said. Her gun was charged and she started healing Owen. Owen started walking forward while Beth and Justin covered him by shooting at Eva and DJ from behind the door. Cody stayed behind in his safe sandwich. Heather cloaked and tried to completely outflank the fighting by going over the fading train parts. She reappeared right behind Zeke and went to knife him, but he turned and hit her in the face with his wrench.

"I can smell you" Zeke lowed "a mile away! You're a smoker, eh!?" Heather gasped at the home schooled boy's perception and pulled out her gun. She shot him to death at near point-blank range.

"So?" Heather asked in her haughty way. "Nothing's wrong with smoking."

"""

"Disregard that, viewers" Chris ordered. "Heather is a bad influence!"

"""

* * *

Owen landed with a monstrous thud and contested the point. Duncan prepared to blow him into tiny bits, but suddenly he started glowing blue. Gwen stood above with her total invincibility on. Courtney wasn't going to fall for it and she aimed her uber-piercing sniper at Gwen, waiting for a full charge.

"Bad move, girl" Courtney whispered. Suddenly, Trent ducked out and was able to get a perfect hit off on Courtney. The non-MVP bullet hit her head and knocked her back, but she survived with a tiny sliver of health. Eva jumped over her and started firing on Owen below. He had already taken care of Tyler and was working on shooting Duncan when his threat-responsive shoulder turrets picked up on Eva. He turned with them and started shooting through Eva's defense, ultimately killing her.

"This isn't going too well" Sadie pointed out. After more than two seconds without hearing Katie, she had to turn out of suspicion. Heather, who was rampaging around by herself, threw Katie's skinny body at Sadie and knocked her down onto the tracks. Owen cleaned house and killed her as well just in time for the train wreck to completely despawn. The danger wasn't over, however, as the normal train bells were clanking and Duncan was still alive and on the tracks. He had taken refuge in the turret's blind spot by lying down and squeezing himself between the ledge and the metal tracks.

"Oh crap" Duncan sighed. The gates opened and the train started speeding forward, and in the last seconds of his life, Duncan detonated his grenades and winced. Everyone watched the train hit Duncan and stop. From above, Bridgette used her uber-charge to give Duncan invulnerability and prevented his death. Duncan opened his eyes in time to dodge and get cover from Owen's shoulder turrets so he could get hit. Now the train went on at its previous speed out of the base.

"Nicely timed" Noah praised.

"Yo!" Leshawna shouted. "Let's not admire them so easily! Owen's really messed up down there!"

"Really?" Noah asked. The grenades had detonated in very rapid sequence and the uber had worn off as the last three exploded. Owen and the turrets had three mines worth of damage on them, just barely skimming the surface of his life.

"Ow..." Courtney groaned. She was being healed by DJ, who was now taking refuge behind a wall and aiming out the doorway. "Trent...you jerk." Courtney, still lying down, took aim and shot blindly. She had shot, out of pure chance, through Noah's head and killed him.

"Oh, total hell!" Gwen shouted.

"""

"Of all the odds" Gwen complained "she had to hit Noah! Cody can't repair the MVP stuff Noah makes and Owen's armor is almost gone. Why couldn't he have hit me or someone worthless like Heather?"

"""

But Heather was continuing to prove her worth. She decloaked right behind DJ's back and stabbed him, stopping Courtney's healing stream. Then, very quickly, she disguised herself as DJ before Courtney could crawl into the door and see anything. The disguised Heather pounded on her fake Medi-gun with a panicked face.

"What's wrong?" Courtney asked.

"It just" DJ said "stopped working. I don't know what happened!"

"Let me see it" Courtney offered, leaning against a wall for balance. Heather handed her fake weapon over, stepped back, and grinned with menace. She drew out her knife and put it behind her back... "I'm not sure, but it looks totally fine. If you can't heal, just shoot with your syringe gun."

"Gotcha" DJ said. Courtney almost took up her gun again and walked out, but she didn't.

"Heather!" Courtney shouted. In a desperate drive for innocence, Heather panicked and jumped out the window. Her disguise broke with what seemed to be her ankles and then, of all coincidental things, it started raining. Heather, curious as to what hazard plain rain could pose, decided to taste it.

"Bleh!" she exclaimed. "Salt water?"

"_Todays forecast"_ Chris began cleverly _"will call for some metal-rusting salt rain. Beware all of you who take your weapons outside, as the rain will weaken and, over time, break them! Stay indoors until further notice, and have a safe and responsible day!"_

"What kind of joke was that?" Heather said. "Are you knocking at my smoking too, Chri-" and then Harold cut off her head. He was alive and really, really angry. He had won, at least for a moment he had won, and that victory was taken from him by his honorless opponents.

"""

"I may have defeated her in battle" Harold said with shame "but in the greater scheme, she bested me. Izzy, my fair and worthy opponent, you are obviously beyond me for this match, but know this! So long as you and I exist on fighting sides I will strive to defeat you if I have to die doing so every single time!"

"""

And yet, despite his prolific prose, Harold remained outside in the downpour with his weapon drawn a bit too long and his sword suddenly shattered in his hand. With a disappointed sigh, Harold started back inside to continue the fight. He arrived, however, to a strange sight of stalemate blind firing. With another sigh he drew up the collar of his cowl and assumed a ninja appearance. Then he equipped his knives and, from the door, finished off Owen for good. Duncan gratefully jumped out and aimed at the point. Leshawna had already covered it when she saw Owen dying.

"Great" Duncan sighed. "Now what?"

"Send me in" Tyler said right beside him. "I'll sacrifice myself for the team."

"I'll never be prouder" Duncan said "of you than I am right now. Go for it." Tyler saluted and stepped on the point. Beth and Justin popped out and blew him away. The sticky mines were still there. "Crap, they're organized!" Duncan tapped on his communicator ear piece from behind cover and tried to make an announcement. "Listen up guys and gals. We won't win and we know it unless we can effectively organize ourselves and capture that point. The only way we can do that is by using overwhelming force to drive the Blues back far enough so they can't defend it. Then we cap it and push them back even further."

"Agreed" Courtney said "but what can we do? We've lost too many."

"So have they" Duncan said. "Any second Izzy will be back. I'll try to take care of her with Harold, the rest of you guys try to thin them out up top."

"Got it" Harold affirmed. He flipped around and knifed Beth, forcing her back behind her cover.

"If Noah gets back here" Duncan added "we can kiss this match good-bye. Now, let's get to killing!" With his unorthodox battle-cheer, everyone suddenly became positive and full of muster. Their forces were short, only Courtney, Duncan, Harold, Bridgette and Geoff against the rest of the Blue team. Leshawna, Gwen, Trent, Cody, Justin, Beth and just now coming into the base...**Izzy**

"Here we go..." Duncan growled. Two rockets hit the wall he was behind and he came running out. Geoff distracted Beth with a rocket and Bridgette distracted Justin with some syringes. Both soldiers scanned around to find their targets and a firefight broke out.

"Can you shoot Justin, Courtney?" Bridgette asked.

"Sure I can" Courtney said. "I just need to concentrate...on anything...other than how hot he is." Courtney aimed carefully for Justin's face while Bridgette changed her target. Together, she and Geoff took out Beth and Courtney shot Justin for a double-kill.

"Woo-hoot! Nice shooting, dude!" Geoff said to Courtney. Courtney had her eyes closed, both of them, and was shaking slightly.

"Did I get him?" she asked. She opened her eyes and saw that she, indeed, silenced him. "Oh, phew. I thought we were in trouble."

"""

"Being beautiful" Justin said "has been working to my advantage thus far. The only way I can die, for the most part, is if I encounter the guys or if the girls decide to not look at me...ever. I mean, how hard is that for them?"

"""

As Courtney ducked away Trent made another shot at her, initiating a heated sniper duel.

"I've got Trent" Courtney said.

"No" Bridgette said, "we've all got him. We need to win against them all, not just one-on-one anymore." Courtney nodded and ran away from the door to the small extension within their building. The windows behind her let in an oceanic breeze that smelled almost sweetly of salt water. The effects of the rain were not just damaging but rather peaceful as well. Then suddenly everyone heard the wind pick up.

"_Did I mention the wind?"_ Chris asked. _"I think I did..."_ Now the rain was blowing inside the Blue team's windows and slowly edges its way toward Cody and his various mechanical devices. He decided to try and step away, but seeing the brutal scene outside and hearing the roar of Izzy's flamethrower, he decided against it.

"I hope I don't get electrocuted" he nervously said. Trent reloaded behind cover, but he was out of bullets. He made a quick roll over, dodging a sniper bullet, and hid behind the dispenser in the rain while his gun was reloaded.

"Crap" Trent said. "This rain could screw with us bad."

"Hold on Izzy!" Gwen shouted. "I'm coming!"

"That's great!" Trent noted. "Gwen and Izzy will make an unstoppable team!"

"No!" Izzy was heard with desperation, "don't!" A loud explosion a moment later gave way to a heavy dread in Trent as the salt rain pelted him.

"Oh" Cody graoend "double-crap."

* * *

Gwen, in her attempt to help Izzy fight off Harold and Duncan, walked into a patch of Duncan's sticky grenades and was blown to pieces. Now Izzy was forced to fight against the nimble Harold and tricky Duncan alone...until Duncan made the grievous error of misplacement. The hidden Leshawna, hiding in the room that led to the canal pipe, heard the capture noise start and blew up her mines. Duncan didn't have time to curse, as the proximity of the explosions destroyed him.

"""

"You know I don't play around" Leshawna proudly said. "I knew one of them would slip up eventually, I was just hoping that hawk-headed bad-boy would be the first!"

"""

Now that Duncan was out of the way, Harold was forced to fight alone. At least, that's what he thought. Geoff jumped down with his rocket launcher equipped and stood against the terrible foce that was Izzy with Harold.

"What are you doing?" Harold asked.

"I'm not sure" Geoff said "and I feel really good about it!" Geoff rolled around until he stopped on the point, started capturing, and aimed at Izzy.

"I think not!" Izzy said. She held up her flamethrower and let him fire. Then, with a quick hop, she pumped the trigger and shot a wave of nearly invisible air that deflected the rocket at Harold. Harold squealed and jumped over the rocket. Geoff, not knowing what happened exactly, fired again. This time Izzy deflected the rocket at the doorway Courtney was hanging out of and hit her off her aim, saving Trent.

"Dammit Geoff!" Courtney screeched over the communicator. "Watch it!"

"It was Izzy!" Geoff argued. In that brief second where Geoff turned away to answer his commander, Izzy was right above him with her ax drawn. She raised it high over head, but before it went crashing down a tiny metal clank was heard behind her. Both Izzy and Geoff turned to see a small metal ball that popped open at its middle and shot out an array of lasers. They hit Izzy and Geoff straight in the eyes, blinding and dazing them both. Courtney had a belt with two more of those metallic orbs around her, grenades spawned up on the walkway that she picked up when the opportunity came. The sniper class grenades are blinding laser-lights!

"Nice" Courtney said. She took aim and killed Izzy. Then she felt a nick from a bullet and aimed up, shooting away Trent through the wall. Now it was just Leshawna, wherever she was. At last, the moment the Reds had fought so hard for arrived!

"_Capture, Red Team!"_ hatchet announced. The living Reds cheered while the still living and newly respawned Blues grimaced in defeat.

"Ignore it" Noah commanded from inside his base. "Keep going!" he commanded to the team mates he held behind.

Now with time on their side again, the Red team rejoined in the middle building and set up a solid defense around the control point on the ground.

"Hang on" Courtney said. "Leshawna's still around here somewhere." Leshawna had, in fact, slipped out into the canal and swam back up into her own base as the point was getting captured. Ran frantically looking for her team in the forward base but couldn't find them. Then, upon heading to the rear base, she saw everyone setting up what seemed to be an impassible defensive wall.

"Oh great, you're here" Noah flatly said. "Can you cover the point up here?"

"What the heck" Leshawna outrageously began "are y'all doing? What happened to fair play?"

"They got too good for that" Noah said. "At least this way we'll have a chance to run the clock."

"So we're already stooping that low!?" Leshawna shouted.

"Yup" Noah admitted. "Don't take any tone with me, though. This is our failsafe plan."

"What now?" Leshawna asked.

"I'm back!" Cody shouted, running in the door. "My wrench fell apart and I think my leg's broken, but I made it. The Red team is getting ready to move out now!"

"Great" Noah said. "We're just about done here anyway. Alright Blue team, let's get our hands in." The living remnants of the Blue team gathered around and put their hands in one cluster of sportsmanship. "This is our wall. No one gets past the wall. We are the wall, and we won't let anyone overtake us!"

"Oh yeah!" Owen shouted.

"What are we!?" Noah shouted.

"THE WALL!" his team replied.

"Now lets kick some butt" Noah finished "as only a wall can do!"

"We're going to fall on them?" Justin said.

"Maybe" Noah replied. With a loud and very heated 'HOOAH!' the team threw up their hands and prepared the defense for its greater, final touches. Once the Reds walked in, there would be no hope and no mercy...

* * *

What miraculous plan does Noah have that will stop the Reds dead in their tracks!? Can 'the wall' really stop the force of the runaway train that is the Red team? Can Harold finally pull one over on Izzy by himself? Will Heather prove herself once and for all to earn the MVP or will Owen's walking-fortress ability hand him the award hands down? Find out all this and more next week here on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!_


	34. Well 6

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The plan is simple, yet ingenious. Noah calls it the wall, clichéd as it may be. The Blue team will mimic the Red's previous disaster of a defense and hold them off until the timer rings down to zero to get the point and tie it up. With no more strategy and low morale, the Reds will falter in the final round and the Blue team will claim an easy victory.

However the Red team is not so easily swayed! Even after losing the initial battle for the second-round mid-point capture, they still press on with words of encouragement from their stately leaders Courtney and Duncan. Their plans are ever changing and supremely adaptive to the great defense of the Blues, but will those qualities propel them to victory?

* * *

"_Point Capture, Red!"_ Hatchet announced. The Red ream had all taken part in capturing the Blue's forward point in less than a second, breaking whatever record there previously was. The rain was just now letting up, making way for the next hazard that the team would have to deal with.

"Something's wrong" Zeke mentioned. "I can't quite shake this feeling, eh?"

"Like we're being screwed with?" Duncan said bluntly. "No duh, dude! They're setting up a huge defense over there!"

"It's alright" Courtney said. "At least we have time."

"Yeah" Eva added "and they're really good at making time disappear!"

"Easy" Courtney said to calm her down. "Let's all take some time to plan. Harold, can you run a quick recon?"

"I'm on it" Harold said. He cloaked and dashed off to the upper level to sneak in the main base through the walkway. Unfortunately, neither he nor his team were aware of the wonders an MVP Engineer could create. Noah had equipped the entire forward area with stealthily hidden microphones and cameras that he observed from the computers in the spawn point. He would control his turret manually from there, which was still more powerful than a normal level three even with the spread resources in the espionage equipment.

"""

"Why not let it be automatic?" Noah asked for the audience he considered less educated than he. "Well, turrets can't distinguish threat like a normal person. Why fire on a Heavy-Medic combo when the spy or sniper doesn't have any support? All that power at my finger-tip to command as is needed for this plan to work."

"""

Noah even made the turret turn in its normal, neutral way with his finger while typing rapidly with his other hand. He analyzed all the current actions going on between the Reds and the pre-programmed camera angles that he hacked into. He saw his team, all in position, and then he saw Harold cloaking and running up the steps.

"Izzy" Noah said over the communicator, "Harold's coming your way. Stay alert."

"On it" Izzy said. She stuck out her foot just barely in the doorway that Harold would have to run through and waited. If she were lucky he would trip over it. If not, she would flame around with her gun randomly until he died. She felt something hit her foot after all and then it hit the floor.

"Gah!" Harold grunted. He had broken his silent stealth by accident, and now tried to correct the problem by rolling away. Izzy stomped down on his invisible back, reeled her ax up, and made a golf-swing that decapitated him instantly. Harold died, gathering no Intel at all.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!" Izzy laughed evilly. Her nefarious cackling echoed through the base and eventually made its way to the Red team.

"Okay" Courtney sighed, "looks like he died. Therefore, we can either assume that they anticipated us doing this and had some failsafes...or Izzy has become telepathic." The second, far-fetched assumption actually struck the team with looks of horror.

"""

"Oh man" Tyler said in fright, "if her actions are as bad as her thought, I don't want to know anything about what goes on in her head! I need to fight back, keep her out of my mind! This is serious!!!"

"""

"Let's plan around the real one first" Eva said.

"Right" Courtney agreed. Tyler and Geoff took off their tin-foil hats and threw them away to avoid looking like idiots. "Okay, we know what they're doing, it's just the how we need to be concerned with. Our plan fell apart somewhat because we couldn't organize on the fly as easily as these guys can."

"That's right" Duncan said. "I remember Izzy having some kind of wordless communication system. They could use than in a fight and we wouldn't know it."

"So let's prioritize first" Eva suggested "and worry about our wills later. I say we take out the brain before the brawn."

"Noah isn't careless" Courtney said. "In fact, in times like this, he tends to be a coward. Cody is smart, but he has a lacky complex. He'll do whatever Noah wants him to do and he isn't as powerful."

"Let's take out Gwen first" Duncan said. "She's their only healer. If she's gone they're basically done for."

"Good point" Eva said.

"Great point" Courtney said in a correcting voice. "Everyone needs to concentrate the majority of their fire on killing Gwen."

"What if she ubers" Bridgette interjected "as soon as we find her?"

"And with Owen?" Geoff added.

"Then we'll retreat" Courtney said "and regroup."

"That would let them gain time over us" Eva said. "I say once we go in we don't go out until we win."

"We aren't barbarians" Courtney said. "We don't have to tie ourselves to the enemy and fight until one of us is dead. That's just cruel and unstrategic. We need to play the thinking game. It's the advantage they have over us, and if we can just beat them strategically, we can walk away winners!"

"Fine" Eva agreed hesitantly. "Where should I go then?"

"You and DJ" Courtney instructed "will cover me while I snipe. If they get a wall like Owen we should get one too."

"You calling me fat, girl?" Eva asked, raising Courtney off the ground with one hand. Courtney stayed calm and let herself float.

"I'm calling you huge" Courtney said. "You should be happy." Eva looked around at the disapproving faces and dropped her leader. She then apologized in the form of crossing her arms with a huff. Courtney brushed herself off and cleared her throat to continue. "Duncan, you team up with Geoff and Bridgette to destroy whatever turrets you can find." Duncan and Geoff raised their weapons with flair and cocked them affirmatively.

"""

"I'm getting stoked" Geoff admitted. "I mean, the last few times I got really stoked, we sort of ended up losing, and my jinx idea almost got us killed, but hey! Those were just a few times! I have a great feeling about this one!"

"""

* * *

"Okay" Noah communicated to his team, "here's their plan. Courtney, our number one threat, is going to be hiding with Eva, out number two threat, and both of them are going to be gunning down Gwen. They will enter through our left ground-level entrance with DJ healing and Courtney crouched behind. Izzy, you're on duty there for now. Kill her, even if it's just her."

"You got it boss" Izzy said.

"_Attention kiddies!"_ Chris began.

"""

"UGH!" Gwen groaned angrily. "When will it all end!? I can't believe I'm saying this but I really, _really_ hope someone kills me soon."

"""

"_We have a new surprise for you!"_ Chris exclaimed. Suddenly the familiar, stomach-sinking sound of rushing water was heard. The Red team felt a shallow wave sweep past their feet, and soon that wave came into the Blue base room. _"Shallow water! Careful not to slip in it! Also, since there's water everywhere it's kind of hard for people to stay on fire!"_ Izzy gasped with shock. This hazard was made specifically as an advantage for the Red team against her! _"Best of luck! McClean, out!"_

"Well that's nice" Owen said dejectedly.

"Chin up gang" Cody said. "This doesn't mean she can't kill people! It just means they won't stay on fire, right?" Cody looked over at Izzy, who was sadly eying down her flamethrower with a shaking lip. She sniffled a few times, projecting a strange and sad presence, and equipped it demurely.

"""

"Oh, I'm not really sad" Izzy said with a giggle. "I was just trying to be funny! You know, like, over dramatizing the moment to the point where it's funny? Come on, its basic humor!

"""

Her team didn't quite buy it.

"Okay" Noah said "regardless we still have a plan to craft. Heather, stay where you are and await further orders. Just breath if you roger." Heather breathed into her communicator. She was actually outside the base, in fact, outside entirely. She wasn't making a single sound and eagerly waited for her next orders.

"""

"It'll be a cinch" Heather said. "I'll just wait until the team is in dire straights, then I rush in and claim myself the MVP by winning at the last second. Honestly, Noah must be making this easy for me, because there's no way this is a coincidence."

"""

"Cody" Noah continued, "how's your turret?"

"Full up" Cody reported. "I think something is wrong with my dispenser, though." Cody's dispenser, built at the base of the steps, was humming ominously and crackling lightly. "I think the water shorted it out or something."

"We'll see" Noah said. "Maybe that can help us a bit. Everyone else in position?" Noah got a serious of simultaneous taps to the microphones in response. His team was in position. "Then let's start this up. Initiate plan 'Brick in the Wall'."

Outside, Heather nodded and picked up a rock. She was to stir the proverbial hive and retreat immediately. She ducked quickly through the metal door, unseen by everyone, and threw her rock at Eva's head. Eva turned around and saw Zeke picking his nose while building his sentry. She gave him and his hunk of scrap a stern kick.

"Ow!" Zeke shouted. "What was that for, eh?"

"Calm down Eva" Courtney demanded. "Let's not have a bunch of stupid, predictable in-fighting, alright?" Heather laughed silently and continued stalking around behind the wall the Red's waited at. The canal tube connecting the base with the rest of the water was overflowing, which was the source of the water everywhere. Oddly, there was no water outside until Heather opened the doors. Thankfully no one had noticed her moves.

"Harold's coming" Noah warned. "Get in the tube if you can." Heather nodded, knowing he could at least see her, and silently slipped into the tube. Harold came running back in at full speed and rejoined his team once more.

"You didn't need to wait for me" he said breathlessly. Duncan gave him a stern pat on the back to get him upright.

"Sure we did" he said. "Who else is gonna kill Heather and get her out of the game?"

"That's your primary job" Courtney said, "even before Izzy. Get rid of Heather. She isn't an MVP but she can still backstab either me or Eva and kill us like that" which she said with an accompanied finger snap. Harold saluted and took out his sword, just in case.

"We've got, like eight minutes left now" Bridgette pointed out. "Should we go in now?"

"Oh yeah" Courtney said with an eager sneer. She equipped her rifle and got in formation. "Let the mayhem commence! CHARGE!!!" At her order, all of the Red team got into their appropriate places and started the attack. Eva, DJ and Courtney ran to the right entrance. Duncan, Geoff and Bridgette headed upstairs to get the high ground on the left. Sadie and Katie left for the opposite catwalk on their own. Tyler and Harold went to the left ground entrance, leaving Zeke alone to build his teleporters where needed. Once they set foot in the room, the battle began.

* * *

"Kill them" Noah calmly ordered over the loud-speakers. The Blue force's wall was revealed. The entire team was spread evenly and distantly along the upper level with guns poised exactly where they needed to be. From the Red's standing, left to right, it was Justin, Gwen, Lindsay, Leshawna, Owen at the center with a helmet on, Noah's turret that beeped suddenly, Cody at the foot of the right steps with a turret behind him, Beth, Trent and Izzy at the door. Noah was nowhere. Heather went unseen. It was a formidable defense, one with virtually no way of failing a team just as unevenly spread as them.

Duncan and his team came upon a hallway dotted with sticky mines and Leshawna standing far away. Justin guarded the door and shot at them once they were in sight. Gwen started healing him and went prone to avoid fire. "Ah that's great" Duncan groaned. He and his team had to duck away and cease their attack from that direction. "We're going in through the left."

"Aim down, Justin" Noah instructed. Justin fired down, missing Tyler as a distraction for his true purpose and waited for Duncan and his squad. Across the room, Courtney struggled to get a shot off with Izzy shooting a stream of fire down from the upper level. She got her smile back, which was good, but it was a very mean smile and frightened her team mates. Beth was firing down the hall just next to Izzy to get Sadie and Katie from coming inside.

"Cheap trick!" Sadie shouted.

"Ooh, I love that band!" Katie exclaimed.

"You do?" Sadie asked. "Me too!" The girls banter was cut short by a rocket to Katie's face. She was alive but flew backwards with pain and Sadie followed. The upper level was safe for now.

"Harold!" Courtney shouted, "Get the lead out!" Harold invisibly stalked through the flooded floor towards the stairs that Owen guarded. Unfortunately, he left a trail of footsteps where he went and Owen spotted him. Owen started firing in short bursts with his constantly revved gun, noticing how much the agile Harold moved. Then he came under fire from the front. Eva was shooting at him, well out of Izzy's reach with DJ healing from behind.

"Time to die, hotshot!" Eva growled. She had the obvious advantage, she noticed, with Noah's turret at the top of the left stairs following around the spry Tyler.

"Can't hit me!" Tyler mocked. "Can't hit me!"

"Not trying to hit you" Noah said to himself. He changed target this time to Harold, who he was tracking based on a third-person following camera that trailed every soldier in the game. His precision was startling, and trails of blood started showing up oddly out of thin air. Harold grunted rapidly with pain and jumped behind Eva to get away.

"Get up there and fight!" Eva growled. Harold decloked and took a breath from his inhaler.

"Hi Harry!" Izzy shouted. She sprayed Harold with bullets from her Uzi and killed him. The first casualty of the Red team's charge. "Bye Harry!"

"""

"I think this rivalry" Izzy said "is making quick friends of me and Harold. I've even started calling him Harry for fun. I wonder what fun names he could come up with for Isabella, though. It's kinda hard! Honestly, it took me until I was in high school to come up with Izzy, and I never even thought about Bella or Sable or...um...hold on..." Izzy took out a pad of paper and pen to write down her awesome ideas one by one.

"""

"Dammit!" Courtney cursed. She went to make a break for it and shoot at Gwen, but a sniper round grazed by her. Trent wasn't messing around. Once he fired at Courtney he waited for Beth's rocket to fly by, then darted into the smoke trail and waited. Sadie and Katie shot out of cover and fired their own rocket, but not before Trent shot his bullet. Instant double headshot.

"""

"Wow" Trent said with little surprise in his voice. "That...actually...I was expecting to do that a lot earlier, to tell the truth. I mean, shooting one is sort of like shooting them both, in a way. They're nearly connected at the head, you know?"

"""

"Screw you Trent!" Courtney shouted. She jumped out and finally killed Trent in one shot. Now she aimed at Beth, but unfortunately she had forgotten about Izzy and back flipped away from certain fiery death, firing a random shot out that hit Beth between the eyes. "Woah! I didn't know I could do that!"

"Things aren't going well" Eva shouted. "In fact I think we're tanking!" Tyler got gunned down by the suddenly efficient turret and the rockets blew his body to bits. Justin and Gwen decided to step up the offensive and attempted to rush in with Justin in the lead.

"Cover us" Gwen called to Leshawna as she crouch-ran behind Justin.

"How?" Leshawna asked. She just fired at the dominating Eva and DJ to try and help out. Justin got a few steps into the forward room before he encountered Duncan's team.

"Shoot him, dude!" Duncan ordered.

"Got it" Geoff said. He raised his gun and Justin raised his own. Just before the duel started Courtney showed up and shot through Justin's head.

"Booyah!" she roared.

"Oh crap" Gwen said. She started running backwards and attempted to make a dive for protection. Courtney did the same thing offensively, and out of almost sheer luck, she was able to headshot Gwen right out of the game.

"""

"Let's check that out" Chris began "in slow motion!" The footage was replayed in super slow motion to show just how brutal and how awesomely lucky the shot was. "Oh man. That rocked. That girl should get a bonus for that, but unfortunately, she won't!"

"""

"Not good man" Owen shouted.

"We're getting creamed good!" Cody shouted. Leshawna finally got to set off her trap and killed Geoff, but had to dodge the volley Duncan threw at her and counter his shots with her own. She couldn't help kill Eva now, which was taking oddly a long time.

"Heather, come in" Noah called. "You've disappeared from my screen. Where are you? Can you give me a roger?" He didn't hear her blow into her mic and assumed, quickly, that she had somehow died. Now his trump card was out of the game and he knew how to step it all up. "Izzy, new job. Kill everyone."

"That's it?" Izzy replied. "That's an easy job." Izzy equipped her gas mask to exaggerate her fearsomeness and dropped down. A swift ac to the face silence Courtney and another to the chest killed her. DJ turned around with fright to see the blood-splattered Izzy standing with an ax...glaring him down. "What's up...?" She hissed. DJ actually froze with fright and got swiftly cut down. Eva was unprotected, and under fire...


	35. Well 7 final

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Come on Bridge!" Duncan shouted as he reloaded. "We can do this, okay?" Bridgette nodded and activated her ubercharge. Duncan rushed in and provided cover, ignoring the grenades that either missed him or exploded with no effect. He fired several sticky mines at either turret across the field, forcing Cody to jump away and duck behind Owen, then he and Bridgette retreated as the ubercharge wore off.

"We did it!" Duncan shouted.

"Not quite" Bridgette said. She pointed down to the sitcky mines Leshawna had planted just then in the hall they were in. Leshawna and Duncan both equipped their remote detonators and used them. Noah and Cody's turrets were gone but so were two members of the Red team. Now it was up to Eva, DJ and Courtney to hold the line while everyone else waited for a respawn. Harold was already alive stood outside the spawn point for a second before disappearing. He reappeared at Zeke's teleporter with Zeke still managing and guarding his equipment.

"Looks like" Harold said "it's up to me." He pulled up the collar of his ninja cowl and ran inside. Zeke smiled evilly and suddenly vanished invisibly...

Harold came running in through the right door and saw Izzy's back, nice and open. Now was his chance. Izzy was preparing to kill the defenseless DJ when something bothered her. She could see it in the water, mainly in the ripples that came from behind her. In a snap decision she turned around and blocked the swing, sacrificing her own perfect kill to duel it out with Harold.

"We meet again" Harold growled.

"Yes" Izzy said with equal dramatic overtoning. "We do!" She pushed off and yet another duel began.

"Don't forget Heather" Noah warned. Someone came from the far right upper entrance and sniped Leshawna out. "Lindsay, get Courtney!" Lindsay darted around and saw Courtney aiming right at her. She moved out of the way and, unfortunately, let the bullet hit Cody in the knee, blasting his leg out from under him and bouncing it off the wall around the point. Lindsay started sprinting ahead with her scattergun equipped. She waited for Courtney to aim again and dodged again, that bullet grazing over Cody's painfully arched back. He decided to stop moving. Lindsay finally reached her target and showed her no mercy.

"""

"Just before each match" Lindsay explained "I watch a work-out video that lets me gather my rage. I mean, why would I take my advice from Richard Simmons? Does he have a degree in losing weight and gaining tone? Who does he think he is!?"

"""

Lindsay bashed Courtney with her gun, then shot her while stunned. Courtney was still alive so Lindsay stole her sniper and hit her with it like a bat several times before throwing it to Owen, who absorbed it as ammo, and then kicked Courtney until she died. Then, just to be sure, she shot her corpse in the head. He bandanna was splattered with blood.

"Thanks Lindsay" Owen called. Lindsay cutely waved at him before falling over out of pure clumsiness.

"Show off" Eva lowed. Finally, after godless minutes of firing, Eva ran out of ammo. DJ was still stunned with fear as Izzy had left him, but he kept healing unconsciously. However, she still didn't know, and made a drastic leap with her shotgun to finish Owen off at close range. When he saw her coming for him he also equipped his shotgun and braced himself. Eva landed on Cody's dispenser, which broke and threw electric parts all over the place. The entire water-logged area was electrified, Izzy and Harold included.

"Awesome!" Izzy shouted as she glowed. Harold couldn't breath. Eva bared the shock but took the pain as real damage, then stomped out of the water and shot Owen down into the water. He didn't die but got hurt as the electricity faded out.

"Looks like I'm on" Noah said. He picked up his shotgun and prepared to get on the battlefield at last. Eva stomped up the steps, glaring at Cody who crawled away without a leg, and then she fell. Her health was nearly at one, and she knew it. With the last ounce of her grizzly strength she lifted her arm and threw it into the point. The Contest began, Eva's hand versus Cody's disembodied leg.

"""

"That's typical" Eva complained. "As soon as I get in winning position, someone's arm or leg or head is in my way, mocking me. I hate them!...well, that sounded crazy..."

"""

While Eva growled Harold responded to the apparent danger and rushed in to aid the capture. Izzy caught him with the hooked corner of her ax and threw him to the ground. "Where you going?" she asked nefariously. "We're just getting started!" She raised her ax high over head, forced a girlish squeal out of Harold, and swung it into the water. Harold was away and invisible. With his mighty ninja power he scaled the wall and threw the arm out, aiding the grateful Eva's capture. He decloaked and joined her, but then Izzy came into view.

"NOOOO!!!!" Lindsay shouted. She made a sliding dash to get herself into the point and stop it from getting captured. The friction and angle of her slide made her fashionable skirt roll up and fully expose her lacy pink underwear. "Oh crap!" Lindsay shouted. Suddenly she felt a gripping pain on her leg. Eva was crawling forward, trying to pull her off the point. Lindsay desperately pulled her stubborn skirt down and tried to kick Eva away.

"""

Cody had another nose bleed in response to Lindsay's underwear and was holding his nose again. "Yup. Life is still this good."

"""

"NOOOOO!!!!" Cody shouted. He slowly started clawing his way toward the point, very very slowly as he was missing a leg.

"AYAYAYAYAYAAAAAHHH!!!" Screamed the manic Izzy. She came flying, literally, out of nowhere and kicked Harold away. A very one-sided fist fight ensued where Izzy pummeled the hapless Harold until he was against the wall. Then he rolled behind her an drew his sword. Izzy blocked it without even looking with her ax and the melee battle resumed.

"I'm here" Noah said with Beth and Justin at his sides "and I brought help. What'd we miss?" Obviously he was asking the struggling Lindsay and could see just what he missed, her underpants. "Damn. Oh well, we'll catch it on the taping."

"Please don't!" Lindsay begged. Justin and Beth moved in with guns poised at Eva, but they didn't shoot.

"You wouldn't" Eva growled. "You cheap little-"

"Oh I would" Noah said. "I'm not above mirroring someone else's strategy to win. Besides, you guys are too mentally and emotionally flustered to fight again, I know that. Your best plans fell apart for nearly no reason other than bad luck and an obvious mismatch in our favor. I'm just a superior strategist, is all."

"Dude" Justin began, "that was a little mean."

"Just being honest" Noah admitted.

"At least take back" Beth said "the bad luck part. I don't think we've had any bad luck that helped us win."

"_And that's three minutes!"_ Chris announced.

"Seriously?" Noah noted.

"_Coming up next..." _he ominously began, _"thunder storms! Lightning! Prepare for a...BLACKOUT!!!"_ Suddenly the entire map was without power. _"Also, for laughs, we're speed-respawning everyone!"_

"Oh god no!" Noah shouted. "Anything but that!"

"what's so bad about that?" Beth asked. "At least Eva is here and disabled, right?"

"And Harold's still busy" Justin mentioned, motioning over to the still dueling Harold and Izzy.

"This is a lot worse than you think" Noah said. "Where do you think they're gonna come from if it's 'for laughs'?" It took a second for them to consider, but then the answer was clear. Blue and Red came rushing out...from both Blue respawn doors.

* * *

"""

"In that instant" Noah said "I knew what to do. There was only one strategy I knew would work, and it was a long shot..."

"""

"Hit the point!" Noah shouted, jumping on the point and pulling Lindsay away finally. "Do whatever it takes, we hold out right here!"

"RAAAAH!!" Gwen shouted.

"Cover it!" Courtney shouted. Duncan heard her and ran away form the point, arcing his gun to fire his sticky grenades and seize the point with firepower.

"Easy out!" Duncan said. Trent popped out from the other side of the point and shot at him. Duncan ducked into the vertical metal rafters along the upper level and grimaced. "Ah, crap" he sighed. "Now of all things I have to fight!" Suddenly he went silent. He tried to scream about the knife in his back, but Heather was holding his mouth and slowly letting his body sink down. She had survived for this perfect chance and wouldn't let it go. She adapted her disguise and waited.

"Trent!" Noah called. "Dogpile!" Trent jumped on the point, which was now a writhing pile of angry bodies, and started randomly hitting people with his machete. He hit Courtney once, but she countered with her own melee shock stick and made him back off. Cody finally pulled his way to the point and reached through the bodies, accidentally grabbing someone's soft and tender area.

"Hey!" Bridgette shouted, "who touched my boob!?"

"Sorry?" Cody squeaked. He got stomped in the face only once and died. The dark confusion was suddenly broken a distance away by Izzy's flamethrower. She cackled madly into the darkness with a tiny flame illuminating her scary face and started shambling toward the pile. Everyone shut up out of fear.

"Harry...?" she called in a sing-song voice. "Where'd you go...?"

"""

"Nothing" Zeke said "and I mean nothing is scarier than that! That chick must have been, like, raised by feral wolves or something, eh?"

"""

"Get off!" Courtney shouted in fear. "If she fires on us we'll all die!!!" The Reds started panicking to retreat, but Izzy was upon them. Eva made a desperate move, throwing her arm up and forcing the Blues and Red on top of her to go in Izzy's direction. The distraction worked, and Izzy barbecued the bodies that came at her. Tyler was the only Red, although he wasn't too important, but Noah, Justin and Trent were forced out of the pile.

"Get your guns out" Noah commanded. Harold dropped down, completely unseen, and sliced off Justin's head before completely disappearing. Izzy caught him just a moment too late and started spraying fire all around crazily. "Shoot!" Noah commanded. Everyone obeyed and started shooting randomly in the darkness. Shots flew everywhere, and the disguised Heather quickly jumped through the chaos behind the wall that surrounded the point to wait. Her moment would come very, very soon.

"Please get off!" Lindsay kindly asked. "My chest is hurting!"

"That's what a swollen chest does" Courtney mocked, kicking down randomly hoping to hit her.

"""

"I stooped that low" Courtney said in her regular, very dignified way "because I wanted to say something snappy without being totally mean. I mean, let's face it, her chest is pretty good for natural. I'd definitely trade a couple IQ points to have those sweater melons, you know?"

"""

"What's wrong with my boobs?" Lindsay innocently asked.

"""

Time was running out, thankfully or unfortunately, depending on who you want to win. Harold was gone, apparently dead, and Izzy was rampaging blindly without a want to help in the battle. Eventually the shots ended and the lights flickered on as a result of the rolling blackout hazard. It was shown that not many were left.

Trent died, somehow, and Courtney was missing an arm. Eva died as well, but Owen managed to live after getting pushed away. Bridgette and Geoff died close to each other, as did Sadie and Katie, but Duncan was still alive and seemed well away from the fight. Lindsay was alive, having shuffled away in time to kill Tyler point-blank with her pistol. She was now looking regretful. Zeke was alive, unscathed from the fight. Everyone else...dead.

* * *

"Get up, princess" Duncan quietly said as he helped Courtney up. She coughed a bit and leaned into him. "We can still win."

"You're right" Courtney weakly said. "Step on the point now!"

"You got it" Duncan said.

"Stop them Owen!" Noah ordered as he ran forward. Duncan turned to him and stealthily winked, a signal that somehow made Noah calm down and stop Trent. "Or don't I don't care that much."

"What!?" Trent exclaimed. "They're going to capture!" Noah crossed his arms and smirked.

"Nice of you guys to give up so easily" Duncan said, stepping himself and Courtney into the point, Zeke followed them with his pistol armed. "Finally, you guys are getting the big picture..."

"Why aren't we capturing, eh?" Zeke asked. Courtney knew why. The cold metal knife in her back told her why as it killed her.

"You guys finally get" Heather now said, shocking Zeke with fear and stabbing him dead "how useful I really am." Heather let the bodies drop around her and revealed herself, knife dripping with blood in her limply held wrist. She twirled it around and closed the blade, unequipping it stylishly.

"""

"Oh yeah!" Heather cheered. "Here I come! MVP! Go me! WHOO!"

"""

"Nicely done" Noah said, applauding. Trent applauded as well, not for the player but the performance. Heather went so far as to take a bow, and then she took another. Harold suddenly came out of the shadows and killed Heather. Noah looked behind him and saw now Izzy, just her empty flamethrower and a patch of fresh blood on the ground below.

"""

"I managed to get Izzy" Harold explained "in the darkness and then disguised myself as her at the last minute. I knew exactly how to act as her to get everyone's attention. Then I used my MVP power of shooting her own gun without injuring anyone and revealing myself, since Izzy can't hurt her teammates unless she's a spy. Then I just waited for my chance to win. I'm not a game stealer like Heather, I'm a hardcore ninja!"

"""

"Oh crap" Noah said. Harold was already capturing the partially captured point when he equipped his daggers and threw them at Noah and Trent. They were killed instantly. Owen got up and prepared to give Harold a thrashing, but the nimble ninja was too quick for the lumbering hulk to keep up with, and with a single jump and spin combo Harold cut off Owen's head from the air behind and landed abck in the point.

"_And that's a capture!" _Chris commentated. _"In my opinion, the best capture of the game! Holy crap! Chef, any thoughts!?"_

"_These soldiers made me proud to be their Sargent"_ Chef tearfully admitted. _"Oh Chris, they've become such efficient and merciless little killers, haven't they?"_

"_They grow up fast dude"_ Chris said comforting the sobbing Chef, _"they grow up fast. That's 2-0 Red team. GAAAAAAAAAAAAME!"_

"Yes!" Harold cheered, pumping his arm in victory. His quaint little victory cheer was quickly followed up with an amazing dance that rivaled the likes of Jon Hedar and possible Micheal Jackson, ending in a, infinitely stylish split and high-pitched scream of victory.

"""  
"I think I pulled my groin!" Harold shouted in pain. "GAH!"

"""

"WHOO-HOO!" Courtney cheered. "Go Harold! That was amazing! I'm actually really glad to be on his team now!"

"""

Heather had at least ten cigarettes in her mouth and was inhaling hard when the camera came on. She glared at it and venomously yelled "SHUT UP!" before turning around and storming away.

"""

"You can't win 'em all" Noah said in defeat. "Red team, my hat's off to you. Congratulations to you, especially Harold, on completely out-maneuvering me." Noah gave a gracious, prideless bow of good sportsmanship.

"""

"GRR!" Gwen growled. "Right when I was really getting into this game, too. It's almost unfair...but, I guess that's war, right?"

"""

"Damn Heather" Duncan spat. "She almost made it too easy for us, hehehahaHAHAHA!"

"""

"At least I wore underwear" Lindsay said shamefully. "I would have died if I decided not to today. Seriously, I was considering it. And at least that pair was clean..."

"""

"Even though we lost" Beth admitted "I think I have a new-found respect for my team-mates, especially Heather! I mean, without her we may not have had a chance at all, and she got in one last awesome trick at the end."

"""

"That was awesome!" Owen cheered. "I got to be a walking man-tank! He-heh! I mean, yeah, we lost, but now we have that cool strategy to use whenever we want! How awesome is that, man?"

"""

"I guess I lost" Izzy admitted honestly. She stood up and took a curtsy to the camera. "Congrats, Harry. I hope you get to kill me next time too!"

"""

* * *

So ends the Well map! So many twists and turns, so much complicated strategy, and such an unpredictable outcome! Red and Blue are now tied up all across the board, a true conundrum. With each match the Red team's strength and strategy grows, where the Blue team's power skyrockets and the strategy rivals that of the very ancient philosophers and generals who conquered the then-known world!!!

Who will win the MVP? Heather for her magnificent strategy and deception or Owen for...being huge? Moreover, who will win the title for the Red team? Who could possibly take credit for that amazing win by an already MVP Harold? Find out next week, as well as a monumentally shocking twist here on  
_Total  
Drama  
**TEAM FORTRESS!!!!**_


	36. Lobby 7

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Now that the match was over, the teams reviewed the footage to make a decision. Now, however, only three members of each team had the voting power to elect a new MVP into power. The Red team started after their upset victory and made a hasty play through of the match.

"So that's what they did" Courtney realized as the tape ran through the part where Noah used cardboard heat-sensitive decoys to draw her fire. "Damn them!"

"At least we know how it ends" Katie pointed out.

The tape continue playing up to the end. There was a light applause that followed, none of it coming from the three leaders.

"Alright MVPs" Courtney began, "let us adjourn to a more private place."

"_Attention Red Team!"_ Hatchet announced over the whiny speakers. _"In celebration of your astounding victory, I have pulled the necessary strings to get you some better accommodations. Please step outside and enjoy your new headquarters!"_ The team shared some curious glances back and forth, until eventually curiosity overwhelmed them and they all followed Courtney out the metal sliding door. Their new base forced every jaw to drop.

"""

"Just when I thought" Courtney began "we had it bad, something amazing like this happens! I'm beginning to like General Hatchet!"

"""

The new Red base was a huge, post-modern high-tech terminal-filled room of metallic white and plaster gray. A huge central terminal sat on the bottom floor, taking up the most space and acted as a large, round couch near the floor. Monitors of varying use and size were scattered all around. There was glass under the rounded metal railing on the second story and another floor above that where each member's personalized suite-sized room was located. It was definitely a step up from what the Blue team had gotten for the first two matches.

The first outstanding feature that each team member took immediate notice to was, of course, the lack of stairs.

"There aren't any stairs, eh" Zeke noted. "How're we supposed to get around?"

"Hey" Harold said, standing in front of one of the many mid-level consoles. "I think I found something." There was a picture of a stick-figure standing on solid ground that was highlighted, then next to it was a dim picture of the same man floating above ground with his arms out. Harold pressed the button and, all of a sudden, the entire team left the ground.

"_Anti-Gravity Activated"_ Hatchet's prerecorded voice said.

"Anti-Gravity!?" Courtney exclaimed.

"It always has to be something, doesn't it?" Duncan noted.

"Whatever" Courtney said. "Eva, Harold, split up and find something that looks like a briefing room. Everyone else, find you rooms and stay out of ours!"

"Mine will probably have weights in it" Eva said. She left for the ground floor. Harold went up and Courtney hovered around on the middle section. Courtney found a magnificent, all automatic kitchen with _Chef-Brand_ equipment on one wall, a huge bathroom, another bathroom, and an extra bathroom all next to each other on the adjacent wall, and a weapons training facility in the form of a shooting range with movable targets on the wall opposite the kitchen. The other wall had to exits, one that they came in through, and a myriad of random space-type pipes. Harold found his own room, but no briefing room.

* * *

"Hey!" Eva shouted. "I found it! Come on!"

"Where is it?" Courtney asked, floating to the edge and hopping into the air high above the ground floor.

"In the double doors" Eva shouted. "Just be careful, there isn't any anti-gravity in here. Just normal gravity." Courtney floated down, finally getting used to total freedom of movement, and took a step into the room. She nearly stumbled over herself, but caught herself. It was a corporate, totally immaculate room of white walls and black chairs.

"It's really..." Courtney started, trying to decide on her words for their new base, "um...it's..."

"Sterile?" Eva said. Herold came floating in with swimming motions and slammed face-first to the ground, his legs still floating in the room behind him.

"Spacey?" Harold suggested.

"It's weird" Courtney said. "It feels cold and sort of dead, you know?"

"Kind of" Eva admitted. "Anyway, let's get this decision made quick." The three took their seats at the eleven-man table. Courtney sat at the chair at the end, one that had the most dominant presence. Eva sat on her right, Herold on her left.

"Okay" Courtney said, deciding to begin. "I move that we elect Duncan to MVP."

"Because you two are sleeping together?" Eva said. Courtney demonstrated a zero-tolerance policy by pulling out her rifle and blasting Eva in the head. It knocked her off her chair.

"He demonstrated real leading power in the match" Courtney said. "When I couldn't make a decision he did without me, and it worked out well."

"Plus" Harold began "he helped us win in the final crunch. He distracted everyone long enough to let me swoop in and-"

"That was Heather" Eva said. "How stupid are you?"

"I know it was Heather" Harold defended. "I'm just saying, his presence was enough of a deterrent. He helped even though he was dead."

"You know what?" Eva said. "I agree with you. Duncan has some leading potential, definitely. Plus, with his accuracy and a bit of training in it, he could be our most versatile player."

"Offensive precision" Courtney said, stroking her chin "and wide-ground defense. Yeah! Regardless to who the Blues choose we'll have an advantage over them with our new super-class!"

"Exactly" Eva said.

"But wait" Herold began much to the two girl's scorn. "Shouldn't we consider everyone else? Duncan made some great contributions but he wasn't the only one. What about Geoff and Bridgette or DJ?"

"DJ froze up" Courtney said "just by looking at Izzy."

"Who wouldn't?" Harold said.

"I move for Duncan" Eva said.

"Second!" Courtney announced. Harold considered his options, fighting a girl who could easily rip him apart _and_ Eva, or simply agree and get in good standing with his current in-team nemesis.

"Final!" Harold agreed. It was decided that easily. Duncan would be 'knighted' as the newest MVP in only a short while.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the large college-commons dorm style base of the Blue team, the footage was reeled to the end. Heather hadn't attended the viewing out of embarrassment to the climactic, final scene where Harold ended her streak of confidence with his supreme coolness.

"That was awesome!" Izzy exclaimed. "Wow! I had no idea what happened! Harry was amazing!"

"He's on the other team, Izzy" Gwen pointed out.

"Yeah! I know!" Izzy exclaimed.

"I'm siding with her on this" Noah said. "That was very impressive...even though he killed us."

"I look goofy" Owen said "with all that machinery on me, like some kind of huge robocop."

"You looked great!" Izzy complimented. Owen smiled enthusiastically.

"""

"Little by little" Owen said in a plotting voice "I am working my way back into Izzy's heart! Soon she will be unable to resist my amazing charm!" He then ripped a deep, long fart that ended in a strained squeak. "WHOO! Better light a torch for that one! Heh-HA!"

"""

"Okay group" Noah said, "let's deliberate. Soldiers, return to your rooms and await further orders!" The non-MVP players obliged, leaving the three voters to their own work in the living room...and Lindsay.

"Lindsay?" Gwen said. "Are you alright?"

"Sure" Lindsay said. "Noah said all soldiers, so I'm waiting for him to say all 'scouts'." The MVPs shared a brief silence for the loss of Lindsay's intellect.

"Good-bye, Lindsay" Noah said.

"Okay!" Lindsay chirped. She got up and ran back to her room. Noah pulled up a soft chair, letting Gwen and Izzy share the large and comfy couch in front of the big screen TV.

"Alright" Noah said. "I think we have two obvious choices. Heather and Owen."

"I vote Heather!" Izzy exclaimed.

"What?" Gwen said in shock. "Why would you want to vote for her?" Gwen suddenly remembered that, during the match, Izzy had pulled Heather aside to talk to her. This must have been a result of that talk, Heather was somehow blackmailing Izzy to vote for her.

"Well, let's debate these choices" Noah said.

"Yes!" Gwen said. "Shoot her down!"

* * *

"I am impartial to either" Noah admitted. "Consider me the tie-breaker. Gwen, I assume you represent Owen because he isn't Heather. Izzy, you represent Heather for your own reasons."

"She's got skill" Izzy said. "If I had killed Harold we would have won that round! Heather stuck Courtney in the back at the last second. We can use a super-spy with her devious methods and naturally twisted personality to completely walk around the enemy defenses and sabotage them form within!"

"Hmm" Noah hummed. "Good point. Gwen?"

"Well" Gwen began, "I shouldn't have to remind anyone of all the grief and trouble Heather caused to her own team on _Total Drama Island_. She's a cheater, plain and simple. She'll just use her powers to her own personal benefit rather than to the benefit of the team."

"Okay" Noah said. "Well, the past is the past. Somehow everyone was able to forgive and forget with me when I took leader after my...haughty attitude on the island. Now then, I've heard the for and against for Heather, what about Owen? Gwen?"

"Uh" Gwen began, gathering her thoughts after a moment. "well, he's a Heavy and I'm a Medic. Our combo has worked well so far, but look at how powerful Eva is without a super-medic backing her up. If we joined forces we could be a totally unstoppable defensive force."

"Indeed" Noah said neutrally. "Izzy? Why not Owen?"

"I have nothing against Owen" Izzy said. "In fact, I'd like to give him more power, but power isn't going to be our biggest concern in the future. Strategy is. We need supportive class bonuses in war more than offense. Owen and Gwen can stand up to Eva and her healer anytime, but our main concern with defense is Harold. He can easily weasel his way past a line or a wall. That's where a super-spy would come in handy. Owen can't turn around quickly, regardless of what bonuses we give him, and he's too trusting and happy to suspect anyone of being a spy. I say we hold him off for the vote after this one."

"Alright" Noah said. "That's one and one, tie vote. I am the deciding factor now. It all falls on me now." Noah got up and started pacing. Using his expert genius-level expertise of the remote control, he spliced two short clips of action for both of the candidates side-by-side. Heather's dubious back-knifing and Owen's walking-tank movements in action.

"On one hand, we have our only real defense against what is now a huge threat to our defense and strategy. On the other hand, we have pure, raw power to be used at our total indiscretion against our enemies. It's a tough choice. Strength over safety? Muscle over mentality?" After a suspenseful moment of close-ups for no reason, Noah took in a breath and prepared to answer

"""

"I cannot bring myself to trust Heather" Gwen said. "She is a manipulating little bitch, and nothing in the world will change that about her.

"""

"I trust Noah's choice" Izzy said. "Either way we get a new super-powerful team mate, but Heather is who I'm personally gunning for. And if she wins, I can garuntee the viewers some awesome fight scenes!"

"""

With his breath finally drawn in Noah announced his vote with a few final dramatic close-ups.

"Heather wins" Noah said. Izzy started jumping up and down on her butt while Gwen looked disgusted and shocked.

"Booyah!" Izzy shouted. She stood up and started shooting her Uzi into the ceiling. After her clip emptied and the plaster fell down to her head, Gwen stood up with a sigh of defeat and touched her shoulder.

"Great job" Gwen said. "I guess that'll teach me to argue with you in the future."

"I have a condition" Noah said. Both girls turned around curiously, especially Gwen. "Izzy, you have fought Harold more than anyone else in this game so far. Therefore, you are going to be responsible for training Heather between the matches to get her ready for her fight with Harold in the next match. Got it?"

"I was just about to suggest that!" Izzy said.

"No you weren't" Gwen said. Izzy hushed her and kept smiling. She had won, for herself and Heather!

* * *

Later on in the day, both teams held celebrations for their newly elected MVPs. The Red team partied in their zero gravity headquarters, floating around laxly with the newly crowned Duncan as the center star of the whole party. Harold was celebrated as well for his stunning victorious strategy at the end of the match that won them the huge and glorious new base.

"To the team!" Courtney cheered, floating up near the ceiling. Everyone pumped their arms and cheered in reply.

"Wa-hoo!" Geoff shouted. "This party is rockin'!"

"So what new stuff do I get?" Duncan asked Courtney. She pulled out a brief list of his new features, given to her in liue of Hatchet's unexplained absence.

"Let's see" Courtney said, scanning over the list. "Your grenade launcher fires explode-on-contact grenades as well as super-bouncy grenades with a longer fuse. Your melee weapon has been changed to a tertiary explosive, a stick of dynamite that you can throw for a huge explosion and instantly destroy and structure with. Your sticky grenade clip has been enlarged from eight to twelve. You can also remotely detonate the grenades in whatever order you wish by aiming at them in clusters or one at a time. Aside from all that, you now have immunity to your own explosion damage and can reload faster."

"Wicked" Duncan said. Harold floated past and took a sip from his cup of punch. Out of respect, Duncan did not spike it with hot sauce.

"""

"When I heard that Harold gave me a vote for the MVP" Duncan said, "he earned some of my respect. Well, that and his awesome moves in the match."

"""

"So what now?" Eva asked. Courtney looked around at her team partying and having a grand time. Geoff and Bridgette were making out, DJ was hanging with Tyler, Zeke was talking with Katie and Sadie before getting slapped for something he either said or implied; the casualness was refreshing, even to strict commander-in-general Courtney.

"I got an idea" Duncan said, moving in to grab Courtney around the waist. She was initially shocked, then pleasantly surprised as she wrapped her arms around his masculine back. They attempted to move in for one of their show-stopping kisses, but he was pulled away at the last second.

"Oh, that's right" Eva said, grabbing Duncan's shirt to yank him away. "Now that you're an MVP, you need to be able to play the part, so it's practice time little man!"

"What?" Duncan demanded.

"Just get used to your gun" Harold said. "I need to practice too. I feel like I could have defeated Izzy faster if I had more skill."

"Suit yourself" Eva said. "Now, let's get to that training room." Eva floated down, letting Courtney helplessly sault around in the air with a scornful huff on her face. She stopped herself with some frantic kicks and looked around. Everyone was still enjoying themselves, all the boys and girls chatting together and the rest of the MVPs going off to train. Then she took notice of something different. Among the myriad of tangled and twisting pipes there seemed to be a small door that led to a blue-lit room.

"What is that?" she asked. She floated down, avoiding the clusters of conversation, and entered the room.

* * *

"Nice job everyone" Noah congratulated. "We may have lost, but its the principal of things that matter."

"What's the principal here?" Justin asked.

"Who cares?" Noah said cheerfully. "We still get cake and soda!"

"Awesome!" Own shouted happily. There was a buffet of finely assorted junk food, including the thematic marshmallows that were once so coveted by everyone on the show. Owen wanted to pace himself and show control, but who could in the face of all that awesome food.

"I can't believe it you guys!" Heather said in an honest tone of gratitude. "I mean, you actually picked me!?"

"It was a hard decision" Gwen admitted. She saw Owen draw near and felt the need to speak up. "Sorry Owen. Next time it's yours for sure."

"No problem" he said, munching on food as he talked. "Nice job Heather. You really messed with those Commies, heh."

"She sure did" Izzy said with a growl. Heather became rigid with fear as Izzy came up from behind, pressing against her with a jagged smile. "And now we need to be sure that she will continue to screw with the minds of our enemies."

"Pardon?" Heather squeaked.

"""

"There was nothing in our deal" Heather said demandingly "that said crazy-girl got to train me! I demand a playback of the events that led to our alliance and justice to be delivered!"

"""

After Izzy managed to drag Heather outside into the barren virtual-reality wasteland to train, the party started to die down. It was getting late in the evening. Beth was ready to retire, despite all the sugary foods and drinks she consumed. Justin was also worn out, most likely form looking so good for so long without pause. Lindsay felt a heaving yawn build up in her chest and decided it was her time to go to bed as well.

"It was a good fight" Cody said with a sense of odd triumph.

"Indeed" Noah agreed. "I may stay up a bit and review the Red's strategy for the next battle."

"I'll try to research the maps" Cody said "and evaluate my own strategies online."

"Good plan" Noah said. They retired to their own rooms as well. Owen was already asleep from his powerful eating, leaving the rest of the team to carry him up the stairs to his bedroom. They didn't bother putting him on his bed, they had gotten him far enough. Leshawna closed the door and started panting.

"I don't know about you two" she said "but I am beat. Night."

"Night Leshawna" Gwen said. It was just her and Trent now, and they went back downstairs, neither one ready for sleep just yet. They sat on the couch, next to each other, and started shifting nervously.

"Great job today" Gwen said.

"Thanks" Trent said. "You were doing great too, you know."

"Oh stop" Gwen insisted. "I could have done more."

"Nonsense" Trent said. "You always do a great job healing. Without you, we might not have won this many times."

"You're just saying that" Gwen said insistently. She turned away with a smile on her face, hoping Trent would fall for her bait.

"I mean it" Trent said. "In fact, I think I'm starting to get a little jealous of Owen. He gets you all to himself most of the time, you know."

"Hehe" Gwen laughed lightly. "I don't think you need to worry about me and Owen running away, unless we're going to an all-you-can-eat buffet." They both shared some light laughter together in the dim-lit sitting room. At length the nervousness wore down and the revelation was upon them: that they were alone at last.

"""

"Aw man!" Trent said excitedly. "I've been waiting for this. It feels like years since Gwen and I could be...together."

"""

"Finally!" Gwen said in triumph. "All the dis-illusions of this war are about to be washed off. I get to have my alone time...with Trent! Yes!"

"""

They smiled at each other, eyes half closed, and moved in for one of their better-than-Duncan-and-Courtney show-stopping super-climactic kisses, and with no distractions, they pulled it off!

For a few seconds.

"Salutations!" Chris said as he threw the door to the base open. Gwen and Trent shot their eyes open and awkwardly forced themselves away from each other. "Woah! Looks like I was intruding on a very private moment. I'll let it slide."

"What do you want, Chris?" Gwen asked with contempt.

"Chill, chicky" Chris said, waving his hands in peace. "I'm on a man-hunt, so to speak. Has Courtney been through here recently?"

"Uh" Trent began thoughtfully, "no. This is the Blue base."

"I know that dude" Chris said "but she isn't in the Red base. She isn't anywhere. Until we load the next map all that's out there is infinite canyons and desert terrain. By the way, I think Heather broke something sparring with Izzy."

"Oh well" Gwen said nonchalantly.

"How did she go missing then?" Trent asked. "Is she somewhere in the terrain outside her base?"

"We got cameras everywhere, bro" Chris said. "If she were anywhere, we would know."

"Hmm" Gwen hummed curiously. She found herself suddenly interested in this missing-person dilemma. Courtney could very well be anywhere, even somewhere deep within their very base, learning their secrets! Gwen got up and quickly shoved Chris out the door. "As much as that all sucks, I don't think we can help you. Good luck finding her, and tell Heather to suck it up and keep training for me."

"Okay but-" was all Chris managed to get out. He rubbed his neck awkwardly and pulled out a cellphone. With a quick dial he reached his companion Chef and listened to his report. "Yeah, she isn't here. I don't know what's going on. Maybe we should check the terminal. The cameras in there are usually off." Chef agreed with a mumble and ended the conversation. Chris shut his phone and listened the the loud clashing of steel off screen. "Suck it up, girl! You've got to get strong for the team!"

* * *

Elsewhere, in a place totally disassociated with _Total Drama Team Fortress_, the figure of one sleek and svelte young lady came through the dark shadows of a long, metal hallway. She stepped lightly and cautiously across the metal-plated floor and kept her hands away from the pipe-lined walls.

"Where am I?" she asked silently. "This place doesn't look like anything..." Finally she came upon a door, one that simply slid up into the wall and let her through. Courtney, wide awake with intense curiosity, stepped into a room of large cylinder tubes containing the forms of what seemed to be people. Wracked with inquisitive nature, she approached one and wiped off the vapor on the glass. Within she saw the unconscious form of Bridgette floating in a cool, thin liquid. Wires extended from her back and from under her sweatshirt.

"What the heck? Is this the Matrix room?" Courtney culturally relevant observations went softly echoing into the walls. She moved through the strange hallway, seeing all the people she had learned to like and loathe over the godless summer at Wawanakwa. On one side was the Red team, seven tubes representing and holding the current seven normal fighters. Where she came from, a hallway not too far away where one or more of these tubes could be carried, held the MVPs line up in a similar fashion.

Then, at the end of the hallway, she saw two tubes positioned to look down the stretch at all the tubes. In one was the instantly recognizable figure of Chef Hatchet, floating unconsciously without a shirt and a myriad of wires attached to his body. Opposite him floated Chris, who looked dashing even in suspended animation.

"Weird" Courtney said. "Creepy and weird. All this time we've all been just floating around with no one to watch us? In the same, stagnant liquid for the entire game, which has lasted well over a few days!?...ew..." After her meticulous observation she stepped through yet another futuristic sliding door into a sort of cockpit with a glass window aimed at the sky. There were two screens, one outlined in blue paint and the other with red, sitting next to each other with two swiveling chairs aimed away. Courtney slowly approached the window and gazed out with a look of total wonder.

Outside she saw the sprawling urban environment of downtown Houston, Texas, a magnificent view brought to life through the massive MacDonald's sign the entire operation took place in.

"Oh, come on!" she shouted angrily. "First the Island was fake, now this too!? And what about the train and the base in the desert and, and all that stuff!? How long have we all been in this stupid virtual world!?!?" Courtney collapsed into the chair of the Blue monitor and put a tired hand to her head. "Wait a minute" she began with a spark of genius, "this must be the command central for the entire show! I can change everything from here...I can even declare myself invincible in battle! And I can do it all with just a few keystrokes!"

Courtney started up the computer screen, seeing detailed descriptions for every one of the Blue members including projected statistics, favorite footage and most thought-about moments. For Cody it was seeing Lindsay's breasts with seeing her underwear in very close second. For Noah, her intellectual rival, it was his own team's movements in battle. She read quickly over all the amazing information, unaware of the shadow that loomed just behind her...

* * *

Now that Courtney is out of the proverbial 'Matrix', what will happen? Will a new regime of senseless violence sweep through the virtual world? Will either team be subject to some magnificent combat handicap that will ensure the Reds certain victory? Who owns the shadow about to descend upon this ambitious cheater? Find out next week, in a climactic revelation of interests, here on _Total  
Drama  
Team Fortress!!!_


	37. Lobby 8

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Now that Courtney discovered the secret of the game she was in and the circumstances she could manipulate, she had regained a bit of her shattered confidence. She was busy at work hacking into the computers that controlled the game for a significant bonus when a shadow appeared behind her. A hand reached through the darkness and slowly went in to clutch at her shoulder. Just as she was processing some new screen the light cast a reflection that revealed the hand behind her. In a shock of fear she spun around on her swivel chair and looked at the looming figure.

"EEEEEEEKKKK!!!!" Courtney squealed.

"EEEEEEEKKKK!!!!" Noah screamed just as girlishly. They both froze and stared at each other, waiting for the awkwardness of Noah's scream to pass. "Uh, hi" Noah casually greeted.

"What are you ding here!?" Courtney loudly demanded. "How did you even get here?"

"I'm not totally sure" Noah admitted. "I was perusing through some strategic programs to make some plans for the next map and I clicked something wrong. A few seconds later I was awake and here, then I found you...hacking the game."

"I'm not hacking" Courtney defended. Noah just shook his head. "I'm not!"

"Tisk, tisk" Noah chided condescendingly. "You bad little girl."

"Shut up!" Courtney ordered.

"You're not in an easily defended position here" Noah said. "If you admit you're trying to cheat I'll go along with it."

"What?" Courtney said, now insulted. She stood up and over Noah, easily intimidating him into a lean backwards. "You think I'm so poor at this game that I need to cheat!?"

"Not at all" Noah said honestly. "In fact I think modding the program would bring some much-lacking enjoyment and surprise to this game."

"Really?" Courtney said. "Why? Isn't it hard enough moving around all of Chris' stupid twists?"

"Nope" Noah said. They both straightened out in respect. "You guys are getting drastically better. If it comes up to a stand-off of nothing but power, I think I would lose."

"Well, thanks" Courtney said, staying cautious. "Still, you always have some kind of plan that we can't fight through. If we come across some kind of strategy you would win."

"No" Noah disagreed "that would be a stalemate." Courtney was surprised to hear Noah admit that he wouldn't be able to win in any scenario. Somehow, he kept an aura of optimism and snide assurance in his skills when he said it. "In defending we would win, no doubt" and now the arrogance was back.

"Well" Courtney began nervously, "you aren't going to sell me out are you? I mean, this game could still be considered in my resume or my transcript to any major leadership program. I'll DIE if they find out I cheated!"

"Didn't you cheat before on the show?" Noah asked. "Or at least steal?" Courtney grabbed his collar and pulled him up.

"That was different" Courtney demanded. "That was driven by love, I couldn't help it!"

"Suuuuure" Noah sarcastically agreed. Courtney pushed him down and started back to the chair. She looked out at the sprawling cityscape and sighed, still confused about the leap in reality she had woken from for the first time. "I won't tell anyone" Noah agreed.

"Really?" Courtney said hopefully.

"Under my own terms" Noah said, brushing himself off. "First, sit down." Courtney sat, determined to hold onto her current position of higher education and advancement. Noah sat next to her in her team's seat and accessed a neutral area of programming. The maps. "Now, try to get where I am." Courtney was confused but she would comply. She looked over and, after a few menus, she was with Noah on the screen. "Select 2Fort" Noah instructed.

"It's labeled 'Finale'" Courtney pointed out. "Is that a really hard map?"

"It's basic" Noah said. He accessed 'Dustbowl' and was typing and browsing with the mouse at impressive speed. "It's just a capture the flag map with two mirrored sides. Really simple, but the layout lets you go all-out with complexities."

"What's yours?" Courtney asked.

"Awesome" Noah said. "In terms of strategy, I've never lost at this map. I'm just analyzing all the data so my plans can be modified in a timely manner."

"Well what am I doing?" Courtney asked.

"You're removing any further unwanted unknowns" Noah instructed. "Find the programs that run the surprise twists, like the environmental hazards or sudden respawn counter resets and eliminate them. Then you can plan for the 2Fort map if you want."

"Well what are you doing?" she asked with more demand.

"Nerfing the grenades" Noah said. His terminology meant one of two things to Courtney: he was either making them weaker, which was right, or he was choosing specific spawn points for the most challenge, which he was also doing in an effort to bring some excitement to the games. Courtney started working, searching through the windows until she finally found something resembling her purpose.

Both leaders were now working to improve the game in whatever way they wanted...

* * *

Back at Blue base, despite the strange time distortion that happened inside the computer world, Izzy and Heather were still up late at night sparing. Heather was mentally and physically exhausted, but the fear she had for her trainer in her gasmask and serrated ax kept her awake. She blocked with her sword in both hands, catching it in the notches and letting it scrape along the solid edges. Izzy rushed in suddenly and smashed Heather on the head with the handle of her ax.

"Quit it!" Izzy shouted.

"Quit what!?" Heather demanded loudly. "Quit blocking!?"

"You're not blocking right" Izzy said. "You're just letting your sword catch my ax and then hitching it int the serrated notches. That's not blocking, and especially not against Harold's sword! It won't work!" Izzy continued smashing Heather's head with stern blows from her ax handle until Heather couldn't stand it. She made a stab for Izzy's gut but Izzy blocked it easily with the flat metal of her ax. Izzy then kicked Heather hard in the ribs and knocked her out.

"Still not right" Izzy said, resting her ax on her shoulder and raising her mask up. "You're weak. You rely on your wits and deception too much. Those are your _strengths, _and training them is useless! We need to strengthen your _weaknesses_! That's the only reason you should train!" Heather wasn't listening. She was unconscious. "You pansy!" Izzy kicked her again, but Heather was out completely cold. Izzy looked over to the huge, cutting canyons with one thought on her mind:

"""

"My feet taste weird today" Izzy said, unaware the camera was rolling. She took her foot up to her face and licked it. "It's like provolone." Now she noticed the recorder was on. "Harold," she began threateningly, "come the next match you will meet a new, horrible rival! Mark my words, you will not survive."

"""

At the Red base, where the party had finally died down and everyone was asleep, Harold was training hard with only one simulated target: that of Izzy. The holographic projection showed her calmly standing with a peace sign in her hand. Harold glared through his ninja mask and pressed a button on a console. The image shifted through several other stills of Izzy until he finally found the one he wanted. A moving image of her holding an ax with her gasmask on.

"Activate!" he ordered slyly. The simulation Izzy sprang to life and made wild hacks at Harold. He ran away like a coward past the electric border out of the training ground and rolled into the wall. "Gah! I wasn't ready!" The Izzy program cackled madly and paced around, waiting for Harold to come back in and join her.

"Come on" Eva ordered. "Quit aiming past them, aim _at_ them!" Duncan was deep in his own training regiment with Eva. She was forcing him to shoot-to-kill with his new amazing gun at the Blue team's hardest targets. The strafing Lindsay, the hiding Gwen and the surprisingly agile Justin. Duncan concentrated mainly on killing Justin, who he simply couldn't stand, then went on to fire at Lindsay so he could make a joke when the grenades bounced off her chest. The target he had seemingly given up on already was Gwen, who hid behind whatever cover there was on the digital field.

"Shoot Gwen first" Eva demanded. "She's the healer. If she stays alive the others can kill you!"

"She's too hard to hit" Duncan admitted. "Besides, I got nothing against her. If I can trap her, fine, but I won't kill her without reason."

"Why not!?" Eva growled. "She's the enemy! You should want to kill her before doing anything else!"

"Well..." Duncan drew hesitantly.

"""

"I can respect a chick" Duncan said "who can spot the differences in any given slasher flick from its original just as much as I can respect a chick who can order me around without flinching. If it comes down to a wire, I'd let Gwen walk and I'm sure she'd do the same thing."

"""

"Let me" Eva offered. She took her gun and ripped apart the holographs, fizzling them all out instantly. Even Gwen, who was behind cover, was blasted apart and faded out of the simulation. "Harold! Why aren't you training?"

"I have a wedgie" Harold admitted as he tugged at his pants. He set himself up comfortably to fight the nonexistent girl glaring at him and charged in. He slashed rapidly and powerfully, but Izzy's guard was far too strong. Her simulated-metal ax blocked and caught Harold's sword many times. She even tried to catch it between her serrated edges and shove it into the ground, but Harold saw past the plan and drew his blade away to stab. Izzy jumped away and came in for a neck-splitting hack. Harold rolled away and, as he came up from his roll, he made a slice at her back.

And instant kill, the holograph sizzled and faded out with its head away from its body. Harold had found a magnificent technique to use on his rival, one that would most certainly work!

"""

"Finally!" Harold said graciously. "Now I can fight her evenly and at least have a slight chance of winning in a straight-up duel! I'm so glad, now I can barely wait for the next match!"

"""

As the training of the MVPs continued, the rest of the Red team slept soundly. Geoff and Bridgette floated together in mid-air, cuddled together as one peaceful couple. Sadie and Katie did the same thing but in a less romantic way. The door on the first floor finally opened again and a cautious Courtney stepped into the room.

"Great" she whispered. "I can head straight to bed and no one will know anything!" Courtney made a push up to the third floor and entered her room. It was decorated with various motivational posters and signs that signified success over everything to her and hopped in her bed with a sly, almost devious, smile. Tomorrow her plans would come full circle, the changes she and Noah made would take effect in the warring world.

She could hardly wait.

* * *

The next day. Day of the match.

Both teams assembled outside their respective bases. Heather was up bright and early with Izzy. The training they had undergone the night before had a resounding effect on the normally cold and malicious Heather. She even agreed to match outfits with Izzy. They both wore identical black tunics with dark blue tights underneath and bracers on their forearms. The tunics had metal shoulder pads sewn onto them and belts with extra ammunition. Izzy wore a long, billowing red scarf to signify her role as the teacher and Heather wore a red bandanna over her mouth to solidify her role as a spy.

"""

"Admittedly" Heather began "I was totally against that ridiculous outfit. But then I realized that Izzy is the most popular player here, so if I want a higher seat of power, I need to line up behind the right people. That way I won't have to move around a whole lot to stab them in the back."

"""

"Wow" Gwen awed. "It's weird what one night can do, right?"

"Yeah" Trent replied in bewilderment. "I never thought Heather would get so into it."

"Must have done some pretty hardcore training" Noah observed. Gwen and Trent turned around to see that he too was wearing some particular garb for the match. He had one a jumpsuit fashioned with metal scrap and many extra washers as clips and buttons to seem sleek and futuristic, like a _Star Wars_ style of engineer suit. "Or they're just getting into it finally."

"Where did you get a costume?" Gwen asked.

"Found it" Noah said. "Come on. We need to meet the Reds halfway today out of cordialness." Noah starte walking, his team eventually following. Izzy and Owen took the front line, Heather stayed right behind Izzy with the soldiers and Gwen, the rest in the line after that. They passed through a greatly meandering passage cut in the rocky wilds and arrived a a huge metal gate. They awaited patiently as the Red team came loudly over the bend.

"Move it people!" Courtney shouted. "Come on! Move! Move! Move!" The Red team came chaotically across the bend and slowed down as they saw the organized Blue force waiting for them in a much more dignified manor.

"Oh, crap!" Eva exclaimed. "They beat us here!"

"Not by a lot" Noah admitted as she drew close. "We just got here ourselves."

"Sorry we're late!" Courtney called. She slid down a steep slope and joined her second-in-command to meet with Noah and his...guards. "Most of us slept in because **most of us**" she shouted behind her to her slouching, hungover team mates "were up all night."

"We were training, though" Harold said. He came up to the front and gasped in shock when he saw his rial's new armor. He was astonished by its design and then saw Heather with a black handled katana strapped to her back in the same garb. "Heather...?"

"Yup" Noah said. "No hiding today, I guess. She's our new MVP."

"Just because Izzy lost once against Harold" Courtney began condescendingly "doesn't mean she can't hold her own at all."

"Heh" Noah laughed. "Good debate topic. We already covered it in 'Heather vs Owen' last night."

"I'll earn it this time, though!" Owen said enthusiastically, forcing a smile out of Izzy.

"""

"And I mean it, too!" Owen said with great determination. "I'll be the rootin-est, tootin-est" and then he farted "shooter on the whole team to earn that coveted spot on my team!"

"""

"Well" Courtney began "now I feel like a tool for not telling you our MVP. We chose Duncan." Just then Duncan came to the front line with his amazing new grenade launcher on his shoulder.

"We were up all night training with this thing" Eva said. "He can blow up a fly from 50 meters."

"That's a wild exaggeration" Izzy argued. "Even I can't do that!" Suddenly the huge metal door started sliding open. It slid, somehow, into the rocky walls around it and a bright light poured out. Two shadows stood within that light, Chris on the right and Chef on the left. Once the light faded the hosts stood formally in front of the respective base entrances for the map. The teams were standing on the opposite sides in front of them.

"Oops" Chris said. "I guess we planned that kind of wrong."

"Whatever" Hatchet growled aside.

"Welcome, soldiers!" Chris cheered. "Today you will embark on a magical, bloody journey across a harsh wasteland of technology and opportunity! A battlefield of raw guts and tenacity!"

"The training grounds of Hell itself" Hatchet added with a smirk.

"Nice" Chris said. "Soldiers! Welcome to **DUSTBOWL!!!**" A huge screen descended. On the screen various multi-angle shots were displayed, showing the utter complexities and strategical worth of the huge, multi-step map. Somehow, Noah and Courtney were not surprised. "This match will be scored the same a sa race. Whoever gets the best time wins."

"However" Hatchet continued "instead of going for the shortest time possible, you are going for the longest time possible!"

"Since the event of a full-capture" Chris said "is extremely against the odds in our betting pool, we won't consider the possibility."

"What if it happens?" Noah asked.

"No brown-nosing!" Hatchet ordered. Noah shut up. Even he couldn't mentally circumnavigate a man that huge. "If it happens, then one of us is getting paid and the other is losing a couple of checks. So it better not happen! Got it!?"

"Yes sir!" the entire army replied.

"""

"Ah, yeah!" hatchet cheered. He laughed and sighed into a more calm demeanor as he leaned in his chair. "It feels good to be the Master Chief."

"""

"There are three maps" Chris explained. "One team will defend the two points of each map while the attacking teams attempts to capture them! It may seem impossible at times, but it really isn't! Once both points are captured, the attacking team will proceed to the next map to attack. The defending team will be given an adequate time to prepare their defenses beforehand, so don't worry about scrambling around. Use as much time as you want."

"For the sake of downhill handicaps" Hatchet explained, "a single member of the attacking team will be selected to receive grenades during the match. The grenades will also spawn at regular intervals and in regular places, but the random ones will get them regardless. Use them wisely."

"In addition" Chris added as well, "we will not spare the defenders their own saving grace. If the defending team is within minutes of winning and have only one point to defend, we will randomly grant one of them with ten-second immortality!"

"Sounds interesting" Eva said.

"Sounds very interesting" Noah added. Everyone could see and hear the gears turning in his head. Suspiciously, the gears in Courtney's head turned just as loudly and twice as rapid.

"We will now flip a coin" Chris said "to decide on who shall choose their starting positions!" Chris flipped a coin up in the air, then pulled out a revolver pistol and shot it. Everyone was quite impressed and watched the coin land straight in Noah's hand. He clenched it and followed through by slamming it on his opposite wrist. "Call it!"

"Heads" Noah said.

"Fine" Courtney obliged. They both leaned in to see who won. The attacking team would be...

* * *

Revealed next week. HA! Suckers! Now the stage is set. What new twists have Noah and Courtney programmed in to beat out the orchestrator's of their misfortune and grief? Will Heather's one-night of intense training be able to topple Harold's lifetime of ninja-esque discipline? Now that Izzy has thrown her rival a chew-toy, who will she opt to fight? Find out next week on the start of Dustbowl, here on _Total  
Drama  
Team Fortress!_


	38. Dustbowl 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

0

"Defense" Noah said "is our greatest strength. Prepare for a domination, team!"

"The good kind" Justin asked "or the bad kind?"

"Sorry" Noah apologized. "I meant, prepare for a shut out!" The team cheered from inside the base. In a few moments the match would start, with Red attacking.

Blue is on defense! A superior guard against the superior attack. Courtney chose to have her team attack first to give them the time advantage. She was so sure that she would set the bar early on that she didn't seem to consider who she was going to be pressing against.

The teams were spawned in their respective map bases, Blue in the mechanical and air-conditioned storage shed at the far end of the map and Red down in the stuffy cavern they would emerge from. The disadvantage they had was obvious, but to Courtney it was just another obstacle for them to overcome.

"Alright team" Noah began as he approached the base's white board. "Here's our main plan." He pressed a button hidden as a metal stud on the black marker-holding bar and an outline of the map along with all its paths and obstacles appeared. Another map appeared representing the second-floor areas that overlapped the ground level points of the map.

"They will come from these three places" Noah said, marking the three main exits into the field from the Red area. "The first base, as you can see, is right here in this open shed. If all goes according to my own very logical deductions we can seal off some part of this shed and limit their access."

"So we station half the troops at the first base" Heather planned "and half at the back one, right?"

"Wrong" Noah said. "Dustbowl works as thus: Once the first base is captured, the second base becomes available for assault. Until then it is locked."

"Like base C in Gravel Pit" Izzy summarized. "That makes it easy."

"Somewhat" Noah added. "With Harold on their team and Courtney plotting away, they may very well come to realize the best strategy for a quick-cap. Put the spy at the back base and capture the first. That way the full map capture will start up immediately. It's a good strategy if you're desperate."

"But they'll use it anyway" Gwen said. "We should at least leave Heather there as a failsafe."

"Good suggestion" Noah said.

"No" Izzy said. She stepped forward and pulled down her mask. "I'll stand guard in her place." Everyone gasped.

"""

"Oh sweet Gouda!" Owen exclaimed. "With Izzy off the front line we won't have our phenomenal stopping power! Our offense will shatter without the most powerful attacker."

"""

"Don't do it!" Owen demanded. "I'll defend it instead!"

"Inefficient" Noah said. "Izzy can scavenge if Harold comes around. There won't be any ammo in the field for him anyway. Conversely, Owen, you have much more Health and a larger need of ammo than Izzy does. You'd need a dispenser to keep yourself up, and we need all the help up at the front lines. You're standing on the first point."

"It's okay" Izzy said, patting his back. "I've seen enough action for one life. Maybe next map you can hang back." Owen nodded in agreement, although slowly and somewhat sadly.

"""

"Seeing Owen taking such a huge interest" Noah began "in our strategy is heartwarming. At least he isn't the same as reckless, bull-headed Eva."

"""

Izzy pulled up her mask and gave Owen a kiss of appreciation on the cheek. He blushed and smirked at her as she drew her mask back down.

"Alrighty" Noah said. "With Izzy defending the rear base as a precaution, we can focus the rest of our forces around the forward base. Trent, take a knee as far back as you can with a good view of this exit." Noah pointed to the smaller exit that made a straight dash to the entrance of the base shed. Trent took a marker and circled the two ground entrances that led through the tunnels of the back base to the forward one.

"The left one, right?" Trent asked.

"Wise choice" Noah said nodding. Trent wrote a 'T' in the circle of green to symbolize himself and stepped back to the line of troops. Noah took a red marker and made a circled 'I' on the second control point. "Now then, regarding the first control. Cody, you and I are teaming up heavy on this one."

"Excellent" Cody said, giving a positive rock-on sign.

"Your turret will go here" Noah said, marking the exact point and position of Cody's turret on the flat step inside the base where the ramps met. His dispenser was placed at the wall beside him to prevent hostile fire on him as long as it held up. "I will build two turrets inside the base. Once covering the rear entrance, a level one, and another above the front door frame, a level two."

"A solid defense" Gwen pointed out "with barely any work. Nice."

"It may be solid" Noah said "but even solid can break. Gwen, I'll strap a dispenser to Owen's back so he won't need you all the time. You'll team up with either Justin or Beth and slow down Eva with explosives."

"Gotcha" Gwen said. "I'll team up with Justin, I guess." Justin cocked his brow and smiled.

"""

"I've got this in the bag" Justin said smugly. "They could barely stand up to me at the original finale. With my face as a weapon, no one will be able to deny me my proper spot in the big leagues. Look out world, I'm coming back!"

"""

Gwen made a passing smirk at Justin, but she kept it brief as her focus shifted back on her true man, Trent.

"Beth and Lindsay" Noah said. "You two will stay on recon. Make constant patrols between the entrances, watch over the lower one and fire at will."

"Aye aye" Lindsay affirmed.

"Leshawna, cover and fire" Noah said. She cocked her gun with a grin. "Heather, you're job is simple. Be a spy. Try to kill Harold so Izzy won't have to." Heather nodded and glanced over at her teacher. Izzy gave her a big thumbs up and winked at her. "That's that. If anything pressing comes up or something goes FUBAR, I'll radio in for back-up in the problem area. Our biggest threat right now, aside from Eva and Courtney's through-the-wall sniping, is the unknown new MVP. Now lets get ready for a good fight!" The team cheered and moved into position in front of the metal gate. The match would start in mere moments...

0

Meanwhile, at the Red base inside a mine shaft cavern with a closed-off cart trail, the Red team prepared their Offense in three teams. According to the foreseeing Courtney this map would work in the same way as the first matches where only one base could be captured at a time, and the last one was locked until the first was captured. She claimed to have read it all in the pamphlet she was given as the leader, and no one questioned her.

"Okay Team" Courtney began with verve. "It's time to concoct a foolproof strategy!"

"If it's foolproof" Duncan began "then why is he on our team?" Courtney's team had her, Duncan, Tyler and Ezekiel, which was who Duncan was motioning to. Zeke was messing with the brim of his wool hat, paying little attention to the actual planning he was a part of.

"Zeke is an integral part of my plans" Courtney said. "Listen up. We're going to get the early push on those guys with our team."

"But we can't capture the second base" Tyler said "unless we get the first."

"That's what teams 2 and 3 will be doing" Courtney explained. Eva was in control of both soldier-medic combos with no medic of her own. She was raw power and the soldiers formed her explosively powerful flanks while the medics could switch between healing targets at any time. Harold and DJ were on their own to do as they saw fit. DJ would, of course, stay close to the largest battle and heal where he was needed. Harold's purpose was much more mysterious at this point in the planning, but he would no doubt try his best to be a danger.

"Noah and Cody are going to be our biggest walls" Courtney explained. "We need to use our engineer capabilities for offense to balance out a nearly impassible defense."

"How are we going to use it, though?" Tyler asked.

"Teleporters" Courtney said. "We'll have Zeke build an entrance down here, and an exit somewhere deeper into the map. Then we'll hide it somehow, behind some boxes or a tarp. With that in place we can have instantaneous access to the second point whenever we want."

"Awesome!" Tyler cheered. He noticed Zeke was tugging at the strings on his hoodie, still not paying attention to the conversation mostly around him.

"""

"Right now" Zeke began "I'm just hoping I'll get a chance to prove myself, eh? I mean, I usually get the bum end of the stick, right? I can do stuff for the team, I just need some practice. And I need to not die."

"""

"Alright guys" Eva began, "we're the main offense line here. It's our job to plow through and make sure the Blues don't have a leg to stand on when Harold and Courtney's team come through. Girls, you'll be entering at the far right exit."

"Wait a sec" Katie said. "We'll be entering or exiting at the entrance? Or the exit at the entrancing over...there?" Eva growled and smashed a hand to her forehead.

"So we'll go with you" Bridgette said, keeping an eye on the still confused girls.

"Yeah" Eva said. "I need at least one team to stick with me just in case. Geoff, if DJ's busy you'll have to bit the bullet for a while. Bridgette, heal me when I ask, but if I have to ask more than once you'll need more healing than anyone else."

"Got it, ma'am" Bridgette saluted calmly.

"""

"Eva's mostly huff and puff" Bridgette said. "She wants to win this war, and she knows injuring her own teammates isn't the way to go. Although, I'm sure she could make exceptions for Sadie and Katie."

"""

"Okay, we get it now!" Katie called.

"Sorry for getting so confused" Sadie added. "There's just so many places to go on this map. Plus, it's all new."

"I've been wondering about that" Geoff said. "Like, Courtney knew there were three entrances before we could see all of them. I thought there was just that one huge one there." Geoff pointed to the wide middle sliding doors to make his point. "How did she know?"

"The pamphlet" Bridgette said. "That's what she told us." Eva stared away from them both with a face of adamant sternness.

"""

"Sometimes" Eva said "it's okay to lie. If our President sees the need to withhold information, her General-at-Arms is going to make sure everything gets distributed on a need to know basis. However she knew doesn't matter as much as the fact that she knew ahead of time and had the time to plan with that knowledge. At least we're not so far behind Noah now."

"""

0

"_Okey-dokey teams"_ Chris began over the map-wide announcement system. _"Here's how it's going down! The defenders will be given a minute of grace to set up and prepare in whatever way they want. Attacking team, you must capture both points in sequence to gain control of the map. The time limit will start at six minutes and add six more minutes with each capture that will carry over into the next match. As for the environmental hazards..."_ All the fighters waited with their breath held tight...except Noah and Courtney, who already knew what would be said next, _"we can't get them to work right now, so consider them offline. The random grenade handicap will still be used, however, so expect that to happen soon!"_

"Phew!" all the competitors sighed in unison.

"Those grenade things might still be dangerous, though" Noah said, almost mockingly.

"Yeah" Cody agreed. "Let's just hope Eva doesn't get the grenades. Knowing her strength already they'll probably end up being mini-nukes!"

"Ha!" Noah laughed.

"_The match will start" _Chris continued_ "in three...two...one!" _The gates of the Blue base flew open. Cody immediately dropped a teleporter entrance as he ran out, as per the unspoken plan between he and Noah. Izzy ran into the second point base and gave a thumbs up. As they ran Cody stayed behind Owen, collecting metal, and built a dispenser on his back. Trent moved into position and clicked his communicator on then kept it on.

"Looks like Eva is at the right gate" he reported. He aimed down at the wide gate and saw Harold cloaking. "Watch out, Harold's invisible already. Weird, DJ is away from Eva."

"Headshot her ASAP" Noah said. "In fact, try right now. If they didn't make major changes to this map you should be able to shoot her through the meshing of the fence gate."

"Nice" Trent said. He fired and the shot pinged away. Eva noticed the danger, however, and moved back.

"Darn" Noah said. "Looks like they've gotten everything squared away. Alright, everyone to your positions and stay ready!"

"Uh, this is Lindsay" Lindsay began over the network. "Is this thing working? Anyway, Sadie and Katie are alone at the left gate. They were taunting me and Beth, mostly me, so we went away."

"Roger that." Noah said. He silenced his communicator and leaned in to Cody. "Should we go ahead and start using her nickname now?"

"Which one?" Cody asked. Noah whispered to him and forced a coy giggle out of his fellow engineer.

"""

"It isn't teasing" Cody said. "Lindsay finally embraced the joke yesterday so she let us come up with some new nicknames. I suggested the 'Melon Thief', short and simple while still sophomoric and tasteless. Owen came up with 'The Blond Blouse Stretcher', which I think is kind of long but still funny in a detached way."

"""

"Melon Thief" Noah hailed over the waves, "try to recon the rest of the Reds. We only have about ten seconds, so hurry up and get to cover."

"Roger, Tan Man" Lindsay answered back.

"Is that my nickname?" Noah asked.

"""

"I'm not tan, though" Noah said thoughtfully. "I'm part Inuit. I have naturally dark skin. Well...better than 'Blubber Lover', Owen's suggestion. It's cultural, but I don't think anyone else would get it without an explanation..."

"""

"Bat Eater in position" Gwen reported.

"Cover Shot" Justin reported "ready for the attack." He and Gwen had taken to the shed at the far left to ambush whoever exited from that way. "Sadie and Katie are going down."

"Fire Spinner and Guitar Man are ready" Beth reported, using Trent's name as well. She hung back at the other tunnel for long-range surprise rocket fire.

"Female Jason ready to buuuurn!" Izzy reported. She had never been assigned a proper nickname because she wanted her own. Everyone was unsurprised.

"Silent Fatality" Heather reported in a whisper from the tiny shed next to the right Red exit "ready."

"Big Bootyful" Leshawna said "here with Tan Man, Whiz Kid and Ton o' Fun. We're ready!"

"Sounds like we're all ready" Noah said. He hopped off of Owen's shoulder, as he was helping him quick-build the turrets he had set in the wall above the door frames. Owen moved backwards with his gun revving, ready to take on the world and more with a dispenser on his back. Noah had kept his own dispenser unbuilt for future plans. "Okay team, here they come..."

0

"Okay team" Courtney said with great excitement, "here we go!" The gates opened and the battle was on. Eva immediately started sprinting out for the base when a sniper round got her right in the neck. It did major damage but it didn't stop her or even slow her down. Courtney ran close behind Eva so she wouldn't be shot and ducked out for a moment to shoot down Trent.

"Say goodbye" Courtney mocked. Her mocking proved to be her undoing, as her body continued running for a few steps without a head. Heather popped into view as the new Blue assassin and flipped gracefully away from Geoff and Bridgette as they noticed.

"Shoot her!" Bridgette said. Geoff tried but his rockets didn't hit the mark. Heather landed down below and encountered Tyler as he was running out. She made a few swings at him but missed as he ran away. She resorted to her knives and threw enough to send him tumbling away in death.

"Let's go, Katie!" Sadie shouted.

"We'll kill them, Sadie!" Katie affirmed. The girls rushed out roaring and made a sharp right for the shack. They encountered Gwen, who had her eyes closed, and Justin, who was posing with his shirt off. Sadie and Katie were dead standing with their mouths agape and tongues salivating. Justin killed them both with a few rockets and put his shirt back on.

"You done?" Gwen asked.

"Oh yeah" Justin confirmed.

"Eva's breaking through" Noah warned. "Wait, no, scratch that she's dead. Never mind, people."

"Wicked defense, dude!" Owen complimented.

"Has anyone seen Harold?" Heather asked.

"Look for him!" Izzy ordered. "If I kill him before you do you're ass is going back into the grinder!" Heather gasped shrilly and placed her hand on her mouth. She started running around hoping to see something invisible but started getting shot in the back. Ezekiel was making his heroic stand as he built a turret in the middle of the lower field.

"Take that, eh!" he shouted as he pistol-sniped Heather. "That's for killing me so many times!"

"Don't get too angry, dude" DJ noted. "I gotta go. Are you alright here?"

"Sure" Zeke said. DJ left from protecting Zeke and fled from Justin and Beth's tandem rockets to support Geoff and Bridgette in their push.

"""

"It may look bad now" DJ said "but I have faith in my team. We aren't the kind of guys who go down easy. We may have gotten shut out completely at the beginning but...um...yeah, anyway, I know we'll make it up in the long run."

"""

Harold stalked through the shadows of the map with ninja-like speed and agility. Upon seeing Izzy guarding the second point he confirmed his plans. With her out of the way there wouldn't be anything to stop him from doing what he set out to do: supremely outflank the Blue's point room and kill their leader.

"Excellent" he growled as he came to the tunnel linking the second point battlefield with the first point base. A mine cart trail built on wooden stilts was the only thing separating him from his goal. Unfortunately, or fortunately, as he crawled up to Leshawna's big butt and drew out his sword something metal hit it with a loud clang. He somersaulted back just as Heather climbed up with knives in her hand and Leshawna turned around.

"Were you trying to kill me?" Leshawna asked.

"Harold was" Heather answered. "Stay alert and keep the point guarded. I'll take care of him." Heather ran off to face the retreating Harold. At the same time, by some strange chance, loud explosions started echoing through the base from just outside the doors. Noah peeked out of the window and narrowly dodged one of Duncan's grenades. These grenades weren't timed but remote, so as soon as Duncan could he blew it up, severely injuring Noah to a near-death point.

"Thanks for the sudden assist, dude" Duncan said to DJ behind him. "Now, let's get some fireworks going on!" Duncan slammed the butt end of his sticky-grenade launcher into the dirt and looked through the scope. Through the magic of virtual-reality programming it showed where his remote mortars would land rather than the sky it was pointing to. He aimed it around until Trent's head was in view and he fired.

Seconds later Trent was hit on the head by something heavy and stood up, thinking he was shot. "I'm alright?"

"Guitar Man, eyes up!" Noah called. "Duncan is the MVP, he is firing on your position!" Too late. Duncan blew Trent up with the grenade on his head, instantly killing him. Beth suffered splash damage as well from her close proximity and was blown on her side. Duncan finished her off by lobbing a few normal grenades at her.

"Fire Spinner is down" Gwen reported. "We are en route to intercept, by which I mean kill, Duncan."

"Roger that" Noah said. "Everyone get ready. The first dead should be spawning soon. Red team has a ridiculously short respawn time on this map."

"No kidding" Gwen said. "Here comes Courtney already!" Courtney came charging out of the right gate with flaring eyes of rage. She dropped to a knee, knowing Trent was long gone, and aimed through the walls at Noah.

"Oh crap" Noah said, knowing full well who's gun was pointed at him.

0

The match is off to an explosive start! Heather versus Harold, Duncan versus Noah's defense matrix, and now Courtney is royally pissed! What amazing strategies will Noah come up with next? Will Izzy have to kick Heather's compact butt for not killing Harold or is the ninja about to be out-ninjaed? Will Duncan's tenacity and skill turn the match around or is the mettle of Noah's metal too much for him? Find out next week on _Total Drama Team Fortress!_


	39. Dustbowl 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Courtney didn't take another second to think. She was ready to kill! She shot out a barrage of bullets, ignoring the recoil by pushing her gun down hard after each shot, and then as the dust cleared she finally looked through her scope to see the extent of her damage. Noah's body was down, as was Cody's, but Leshawna was still up and confusedly looking around.

"Wow" Duncan said in quiet amazement. "That was...kinda hot."

"More scary than hot" DJ said.

"Oh, wow!" Leshawna gasped in amazement. "Are you two okay?"

"Oh sure" Noah groaned in pain. "My arms got blown off, but I'm alive."

"Just play dead" Cody said. "She's not so crazy as to shoot us when we're dead."

"Yeah she is" Noah grunted. "Owen, toss me a med-pack, and be discrete about it..." Owen looked around and saw a large instant full-heal box of supplies just behind him. He moved back to fetch it, sidestepping the whizzing bullets from Courtney's gun as she continued shooting through the walls, and picked it up. He then started whistling as he moved back into position and tossed it over to Noah. It bounced off the wall and landed below, all the bandages and precious liquids falling out and draining into the floor.

"Smooth" Leshawna noted. Owen grinned in embarrassment and just moved over in short shuffles so the dispense on his back was close enough to start healing both of them. His movements hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Owen's up to something" Courtney said, observing less maniacally through her scope. Eva came stomping up behind her, having just respawned, and started revving her gun.

"DJ" she called, "let's go."

"Wait a second" Courtney commanded. "Duncan, can you do something about the turrets?"

"Sure thing, princess" Duncan obliged. He set his mine-launcher into its long-range mortar mode on the rock outcropping just in front of the small shed near the Red exits. He was aiming for the open windows that exposed the engineer's backs. He was about to fire when a suddenly rocket blast sent him tumbling painfully away from his gun. He looked up between his legs, as he was on his back and stopped rolling in the middle of another roll, and saw Justin running at the entire group with his shirt off.

"Oh no" Duncan shot out with great worry.

"""

"That guy is serious danger!" Duncan said. "The girls can't help but fall all over him when he's around. Even Courtney tried to kill me because of him!"

"""

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" Courtney blared. Just as Justin was close enough she shot up and gave him a quick drop-kick to his perfectly sculpted abs. Justin flew back, letting of of his bazooka as he went, and fell down into the dirt ramp that led downwards. Unfortunately for him, Ezekiel had already built a turret to hold the ground, and once his perfect jaw hit the dirt and his legs dangled helplessly above his head he was already dead. One rocket blast and rain of Justin-chunks later, the group stared in utter amazement at Courtney. DJ stared with more fear than awe.

"What?" Courtney asked. "He was going to kill us!"

"But he was hot!" Eva argued. "How did you resist him?"

"I hate him!" Courtney shrieked. "He's been crutching our team for who knows how long with his stupid good looks! No more of that! Every time I see him I get swollen up with this stupid, girlish flush. Well, no more! From now on I hate that bastard, and if you don't do the same I'm biting off your ears!" The sheer force in her voice made even the huge Eva take a step back in precaution.

"""

"Wow" Eva said in utter speechlessness. "I guess when you're as repressed as that girl is you're bound to explode all over people someday. We should call her Mt. St. Courtney from now on..."

"""

* * *

Elsewhere on the map, a major deciding battle of clashing steel was being fought! But no one could see it because it was between the two super-spies, Heather and Harold, so the cameras now focused on Izzy who was leaning on her flamethrower out of boredom and twirling her hair about with her fingers. She sighed and leaned into her gun even more.

"Woah!" she shrieked as she fell. Her gun clattered down to the metal ground of the point with her and kicked itself on for a short burst of fire. "Darn it. I shouldn't have offered to guard the point. I'm bored! But, I guess it's for the better. Heather can't get better at fighting Harold if I'm always doing it, and my team can't get better at stopping the other team if _I_ always do it. Honestly, the Pyro class is just so damn powerful, why would anyone even want to play as anything else?"

While she egotistically talked to the empty arena, Heather fought hard for her life with her face-mask up to her nose. She swiped and slashed, reciting the moves Izzy taught her with deadly precision. Harold blocked with his sword in one hand an a throwing knife in the other, keeping his guard as equal as he could against the sword-slinging Heather. She couldn't seem to find a spot on him that wasn't well guarded, and threw repeat attacks rapidly.

"Darn it!" heather growled. "Hold still!" Heather stomped down on Harold's toes, stunning him momentarily. With his guard down she made a wide and painful cut for his throat. She missed and opened his chest, causing massive but not instantly fatal damage. Harold rolled away into a wooden pillar in the middle of the short tunnel they were in. Seeing no way to attack his advancing opponent, he spun behind the pillar and cloaked himself.

"Oh, Harold?" Heather sang. "Where are you? Come on out, big guy. I just want to play..." Heather circled around the pillar, keeping her sword up and ready, then noticed a spinning ammo box. She started thinking carefully and stepped in an invisible puddle of blood. "What? Even his blood cloaks?" Heather continued stepping, finding the blood getting shallower as she neared the ammo box, and then it stopped completely. Since she couldn't see his dead body, she assumed that he had somehow healed up and was now stalking away. She made a dramatic face of shock under her mask as she realized where he had gone.

Harold decloaked inside the Blue base and hit his back to a wall. Izzy turned her attention with half-open eyes and low eyebrows to the far, unseen corner with boxes stacked up high. She thought she heard something, but it was obviously nothing, so she returned to sulking on the floor with her gun slung over her shoulder and cradled in her arm like a samurai's sword.

"And now" Harold said, activating his disguise, "you're mine." He became Heather, an obvious ploy that Izzy would surely see through, but he wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming out of the point noticing. If Izzy were dead then Harold would get the blame. If Heather were standing there, the Blues would surely piece together that she had killed him just after and was now guarding the point. His plan was foolproof.

Until Heather came down and threw knives into the floor around him. She stood just at the foot of the stairs and chucked knife after knife with wild aimlessness at Harold who just ducked into the wall to avoid them.

"What the hoedown!?" Izzy shouted. She lowered her mask and raised up her flamethrower. Many knives were coming from her blind spot around the corner. A fight must have worked its way all the way from the battlefield to the base. She set the nozzle to 'long-range' mode and fired. The fire hugged the wall and snaked around just barely out of reach of Harold. He began to sweat on his fake face and disengaged the disguise to charge his cloak.

"""

"It was like a nightmare!" Harold shouted. "Heather and Izzy are scary enough separate, but together!? I may as well have been picked up by Eva and snapped in half!"

"""

"I knew that I had him" Heather admitted. "My plan was nearly flawless. Izzy's such a paranoid goof that she would fire on anyone that came by, especially me. If Harold had shown himself, he would have been one burnt nerd."

"""

Harold cloaked and slipped away from the heat. Izzy didn't notice until he was already running on the dusty ground outside. At that instant she whipped her gun around and just barely managed to singe him as he ran away. Heather ran to the bridge above to cut Harold off from above. She jumped up towards the tunnels leading to the front-lines and threw a wide spray of knives that depleted her ammo. One knife stuck into something and started floating in the air. She then took her sword and slashed near the knife. She hit nothing but air when she swung for his throat.

"Nice try" Harold mocked. He decloaked, revealing that the knife was in fact balanced on the edge of his sword. He made a nasty swipe that connected with Heather's neck. Because it was from the front it wasn't an instant kill, but now she was gravely hurt. Heather tripped over her ankle, twisting it horribly, and fell over on her butt. Harold loomed over with his sword in a stabbing position, determined to end it in as stylish a way as he could. He dropped in, just as Heather raised her own sword up and pointed it forward.

In the end, as Izzy solely observed, it was a tie. Harold killed heather, but he himself was pierced through the skull as he descended on her. No winner was established from the fight and both super-spies were dead.

"Wow" Izzy said in quiet amazement. "I did not see that coming..." A few seconds later, Duncan came stomping out of the tunnel with burns and bullet wounds all over him. Just as he came into view and saw Izzy on the point, he ducked into the tunnel to fork around to the two-level building route just before an announcement was made.

"_Capture, Red!"_ Hatchet called. _"Extra time has been awarded! Now move up, troops! Come on! Move it, Move it!!!"_

"What!?" Izzy shouted in disbelief. Within the short time that heather and Harold had been fighting, her team had failed! What happened!?

* * *

The battle began with Duncan's long-range mortar fire on the ledge of the shady shack. Unfortunately he didn't know that the windows had been drawn, so that angle was protected against most direct fire. Courtney had developed a new strategy, much to Eva's chagrin, as it involved using her as a beast of burden while she took aim from atop her shoulders. DJ continued to heal them while they strafed around in dodging motions, waiting for a larger troop to show up.

"Man" Leshawna said over the muted explosions outside, "this ain't good."

"Agreed" a fully healed Noah said. "My turret above the door is down. Duncan's new weapons are screwing us over bad."

"At least they aren't trying to get in yet" Owen said optimistically.

"""

"You ever get the feeling" Noah asked "that you're being jinxed majorly?"

"""

All of a sudden a metallic clanging was heard. Tyler, newly revived, was shooting at Owen's exposed dispenser-carrying back form outside the rear entrance of the base. "Take that, dude!" Tyler reached down to his chest where a belt of pipe-bombs rested. Upon being revived he receive a private message detailing that he was the first to benefit from the new twist and had a surprise advantage over the other team. He took a grenade, activated it, and threw it hard. It bounced off of Owen's head and planted itself dead center of the point.

"AHHH!!!" Cody shrieked. He took cover under his skinny arms out of fear. Leshawna covered her eyes. Owen had moved directly in front of it accidentally to avoid the pistol fire, but upon noticing the grenade he became overcome with dread. Noah...smiled.

"Hit the deck!!!" Owen shouted. He covered the grenade with his body and winced. After a few seconds, he became more curious than anxious of the pain, and he stood back up. The grenade was fizzling with white smoke. Suddenly, it popped and fell apart, letting all the sharp metal shrapnel fall gently onto the floor.

"Uh" Cody grunted curiously "what just happened?"

"Must be a glitch" Noah noted bluntly. He had turned away with some mechanical device in hand to avoid letting his teammates see him smile so arrogantly.

"""

"One thing we agreed on" Courtney explained "was that the newest twist rule, the sudden surprise grenades, was lame, so we seriously nerfed the grenades. Also, I learned what 'nerf' means in gaming language. It means 'to intentionally make an aspect of the game less effective to balance everything out'. All grenades hereafter are weak and useless!"

"""

"Are we ready!?" Courtney called.

"Oh yeah!" her team shouted in affirmation. Three teams of medic combos, two soldiers, a heavy and a sniper were going to charge in with total disregard for life and living. If all went according to Courtney's plan, it would all end in a total capture.

"I may as well go too" Duncan offered. "I'm not making any headway here."

"Great" Courtney agreed. "Just hurry up before they reorganize."

"Roger that" Duncan said. He started running off with Ezekiel silently sneaking up behind to follow him.

"Let me help you out, eh" Zeke offered.

"Sure, dude" Duncan agreed. Suddenly the windows opened back up in the shack just as Duncan passed them. Cody's turret beeped loudly and spun around to intercept the advancing party. Duncan stopped dead and looked around. He was fairly well screwed, except for one possible escape strategy. He grabbed Zeke by the collar of his shirt and prepared to throw him. As the gatling guns began to fire Duncan started running for the rear entrance with Zeke in front like a human shield. When the rockets fired he threw Zeke right into them and rolled to avoid them. Now he was right at the door to the back, outside of the turret's line of fire and paired up with Tyler for a tandem attack on the back.

"That was mean, man" Tyler noted.

"Ah, who cares" Duncan said arrogantly. "As long as he was doing something useful he'll be happy about it later."

"""

"That was awesome!" Zeke admitted happily. "I mean, sure I died, and in a pretty embarrassing way, eh? But no one else has ever done that before. I'm like the first meat-shield in the whole game! I should get a medal or something for that, eh."

"""

Now that a definite threat was established at the rear entrance, Noah chose to organize himself in a timely manner. He silently ordered Leshawna to plant some mines directly below her. She fired four down at the floor, detonating the other four that were on the point. She also fired a grenade straight down which bounced low and rolled slowly towards the door. Duncan and Tyler ducked away while it blew up and traded glances. They formed a silent plan and enacted it just as the main line came rushing in.

"RAGH!" Tyler roared. He rushed in with a panic and slammed straight into Owen's back. Leshawna apathetically detonated her grenades, sure that Duncan was just behind, and reloaded her gun to plant more. An explosion was heard just behind her. Duncan used a mine-jump to get up to the stilted mine cart platform and glared at his target. Leshawna was in shock for a moment, just long enough for Duncan to fire a volley of grenades with only one hand right over her.

"Nice job, girl" Duncan taunted. "You're huge butt is blocking the turrets from shooting me! Thanks!"

"Ohh, you punk" Leshawna growled, knowing full well that she was finished. She let him plant a mine on her head and tackled him, punching him stupid. "You're gonna call my butt fat, with hair as dumb as that? You look like some damn Iron Maiden fanboy reject!"

"I resent that!" Duncan grunted. He tried to topple his hefty opponent, but Leshawna made sure he couldn't even act straight anymore by grabbing his green mohawk and bashing his head against the metal rails of the cart track.

"Who's fat now!?" Leshawna bellowed. She was shot dead by Courtney through the wall, now that all the metal constructs were all gone and blown to smithereens.

"Well that was unfortunate" Noah said from Owen's back. He took a page from Courtney's book, apparently, and saddled himself on Owen's dispenser with his shotgun at the ready. Cody was moving to rebuild his turret at the rear entrance. That's when Geoff and Bridgette rounded the tight corner and blew him up. "Crap."

"I got it" Owen said.

"Stay forward" Noah ordered. "Just shoot down Eva if you can. The less enemies we have the better."

"Right-o!" Owen affirmed. Eva suddenly stormed in, in ubercharge mode with a bright Red glow, sporting a mortal Courtney on her back with her sights up.

"Oh, come on..." Noah said defeatedly. He was sniped very promptly by Courtney's gun. Now Owen was alone to face both Geoff's rockets and Eva's gatling gun. He knew he was dead standing, but milked the battle as much as he could.

"Oh, that's it" Duncan said, straightening himself out and struggling to his feet. "Now I'm pissed. Get ready for some hellfire, you stupid blue sons of-"

"Hang on Owen!" Gwen shouted. She grabbed Duncan by the shoulder and tripped him, then threw him down and shot at him blindly with her syringe gun. She had taken hiding for the length of the battle until the perfect opportunity came up.

"""

"It's not cowardice" Gwen defended. "I was barely hiding. I was in the mine cart where Harold got stabbed. I just wanted to make sure we kept the point as long as we could, and I would have died at any time before hand if I mixed myself in with the rest of that fighting. Any other problems? Blame Cody. It was his plan."

"""

* * *

Gwen made a quick jump and managed to get into scene just quick enough to keep Owen from reaching zero health.

"Thanks Gwen" Owen shouted over the roar of multiple gun roars. She was just a few points away from invulnerability, so she moved around sporadically to draw the attention of Eva. Suddenly, a rocket blast came from just outside the window and Sadie came up from the ground onto the wooden balcony that Duncan had blasted earlier with grenades.

"Say your prayers, Gwen" Sadie taunted. Gwen winced at the coming pain, but then the wood started to loudly creak. Under the stress of Sadie's body, the wood gave way and she went crashing to the ground and into a mine cart. Katie ran over to check on her and accidentally set off the brake.

"Oh my gosh, Sadie!" Katie shouted. "Are you okay?" The cart started moving, very slowly, but then it shot forward unrealistically and threw Katie into it as well. The girls were out of the battle for now as they were sent rolling at high speeds back to the base.

"CHARGED!" Gwen called.

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!" Owen roared in pain. Gwen activated her ubercharge and Owen's health skyrocketed to overdrive. He continued to spray bullets at Eva and Courtney, their charge quickly wearing off.

"It's useless, you know" Courtney lowed. "I can shoot through invulnerability!!!"

"Oh yeah" Gwen sighed. "I remember now. Crap." Owen was dead already, his head sporting a nice little wound, but Gwen was still invincible and leaped down to defend the point with a sharp saw in her mouth and her syringe gun in her off hand. "BRING IT ON, GIRLS!!!" she taunted. Although she did her best, once her charge wore off it only took a rocket to kill her and her syringe gun only managed to sap half of Eva's health and put her in a mild delirium, rather than the intended effect of total intoxicated incapacitation.

The capture was swift with four people, and now the res of the Red team was rejoining their comrades at ground zero, the forward point.

"We did it!" Courtney cheered. "Now, on to the next one!"

However, the Blue team was gathering as well in their base, biding their time to plan their individual steps carefully.

"Hang tight, team" Noah said to his gathered comrades, "we aren't nearly done yet!"

* * *

And so the first capture has been made! The strategies may be flawed and the fights may be short, but the action is non-stop and the pressure is enormous! Will the leaders reach some sort of stand-still or can Courtney ultimately out-perform Noah's expectations? Can Blue team hold the line and prevent a hustled defense for the second map? Will Izzy get the lime-light again or is she reserving it for Heather from now on? All this an more next week on _Total Drama Team Fortress!!!_


	40. Dustbowl 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Back in the Red base, rather than join the respawning hordes of soldiers, the cameras focused on a single mine cart with a cloud of debris floating around it. Sadie and Katie were still inside, buried under the new wood and rock that the mine trail had thrown on top of them when they hit the wall.

"Ow" Sadie groaned. "What happened?"

"You broke the platform" Katie said painfully, "and my back!"

"Oh" Sadie said. "Oopsie. Sorry Katie." Sadie hopped out of the mine cart and dragged Katie onto the rocky ground. "You're not...mad are you?" Katie's face was covered in coal soot and scratches from the avalanche of debris in the cart. Below all that she was scowling at the ceiling. She stood herself up, hobbled over to the closet of infinite supplies and opened its doors. "Katie? Are you alright?" Katie slammed the door shut, perfectly fine and healthy again, with her syringe gun equipped and her lips fully pouting.

"""

"Sadie can be clumsy" Katie admitted in the booth alone, "and I can forgive that. But letting the enemy get away is something entirely different. Being crushed under her thunder-thighs wasn't nearly as bad as knowing we didn't even help!"

"""

"Hey guys?" Duncan asked through the communicator radio. "Can you hear me? Courtney?"

"Duncan?" Courtney asked. "You sound hurt. Where are you?"

"I'm at the Blue base" Duncan said. "Well, actually, I'm in the tunnel with the stairs drinking medicine. I got scratched up pretty bad back there. Anyway, I just saw their last-line defense for the match. It's Izzy. She just standing there in the point alone, and she caught sight of me, so she's ready to fire on anything that moves."

"****!!!" Courtney cursed, louder and more dangerously than she ever had before. The feedback coming from her automatic voice-bleeping jarred Duncan so much that he dropped his bottle of medical juice and broke it on the tough ground.

"What's wrong with you?" Duncan demanded. "It's just Izzy. I mean yeah, it is _Izzy_, but she's just one person. She can't hold out long against a full-force attack."

"Yes she can" Courtney argued. "Shes' totally demented and crazy. We're no match for her insanity! We need to wait until she gets distracted or something. Wait a minute, that's it! Harold!"

"Yeah?" Harold asked. He was suddenly behind his leader in the point room, having respawned at some point after the first capture.

"Go kill Izzy" Courtney ordered.

"I don't think I can" Harold admitted. "I'd need a lot of outside help to really kill her."

"And tha's out of the question" Eva said in a tired slur "because you're too much of a wimp to fight her head-to-head and win, and you're too honorable to let us interfere."

"That" Harold agreed "and she's not above using her own methods to counter my cheating. She's just try to kill everyone somehow if I started fighting dirty."

"Who cares!?" Courtney shouted. "She won't have a chance to do it if you can get a clean decapitation on her!"

"Crap" Duncan said in warning. He had moved up to the upper level and was barely peering out behind the edge of the wooden crates next to the bridge. He saw movement coming from the other end of the base where the respawn point was. Beth and Lindsay were back alive and were moving into the point with Izzy. "You guys better hurry. Two of them are up now."

"Dammit" Courtney cursed. "Eva, shake it off already! We need to move!" The Red team split apart into chunks. Courtney left by herself for the upper stories of the map via the mine cart trail to get into a sniping position. Geoff and Bridgette decided to go through the left tunnel and make a straight charge through. Tyler took Zeke by the arm and guarded him as they left for the tunnel Duncan was in to set up an engineer-built temporary base.

"You dropped an entrance, right?" Tyler asked.

"First thing" Ezekiel confirmed. "I've been waiting to plant an exit until it felt right."

"Well now's the time, man" Tyler said. He led him upstairs and grabbed a large box of ammo. Duncan gave them a salute as he hid from sight of the maniac guards. He used his mortar in a prone position to observe just who was going where from high above. Zeke started building a dispenser to fuel his metal and then threw down an exit pad when he grabbed the ammo box.

The Red strategy was slowly getting underway...

* * *

As for the Blues, they were taking their sweet time in preparing in the base.

"Okay guys" Trent said. "I know we're all really anxious, but we need to wait. Noah only built those two so far." Justin and Leshawna were becoming impatient.

"Those Red punks" Leshawna started "are getting in formation to give us an ass-whupping, and you're telling us to wait!?"

"This is pathetic" Justin grumbled. "I need to get out there, be seen...I mean, do something useful for the team."

"""

"This is my time" Justin said "to shine. I'll get all those cameras so focused on me no one will want to do anything else. This entire network will be renamed to 'JustinTV' when I win the audience over lock, stock and barrel."

"""

"Noah's got a plan" Trent said "and I say we follow through with it. He made those devices for a reason."

"What reason?" Leshawna asked. "Do you even know what they do?"

"I think" Trent said "they're supposed to be like tiny dispensers, so they'll keep healing us as long as they're on and maybe replenish ammo."

"Well how do you know?" Justin asked. Trent moved over to the white board that was still marked with their initial strategy from before the match started and pressed a metal stud below the marker rack. A scan of some odd blueprints came up detailing the use and assembly precedure for something called a 'Fix-Kit', all in Noah's precise and detailed writing.

"Call it a hunch" Trent said slyly with a shrug.

"""

"Okay" Trent began, "call it something a bit more specific, like investigation. Or espionage."

"""

"Well how long until he gets here?" Justin asked.

"Shouldn't be too long" Trent guessed. "He died sometime during the huge crossfire, so Around the same time everyone else gets here." Suddenly Cody spawned into the room and looked around with worry.

"Hey guys" he greeted. "Wow, that was a big rush they pulled. I guess we'd better get moving." A loud gunshot was heard. A warning came up on the HUD visible to all the players. Lindsay was already dead. "Or not. Staying here is good."

"I guess that's that" Leshawna said in defeat. "If we got Courtney out there sniping I don't think we can stop them."

"Of course we can" Trent said defensively. "Look, it's bleak now but we can do this. You know that old saying, it's darkest until dawn, well now is that time. They may have the offensive force but we've got the strength in defense to stop them cold. We've got the smarts to plan circles around them. We've got the tools, the talent, the looks, the bullets, the guns; we've got it all, but all of it is useless without confidence. If we don't have any confidence we can't win. We'll just end up rolling over and dying on command. Do you think they have more confidence than us?"

"They shouldn't" Justin said conceitedly.

"Exactly" Trent said. "Why don't they have that confidence that we have? Just look at their leaders, a semi-psychopathic workaholic girl and a two-faced criminal who would sooner stab his friends in the back for an extra second of life. And Eva, who I don't think I need to say anything about to you guys."

"She is pretty mean" Leshawna said "but she's also been calmer since this started. I think all this action is getting in her brain and canceling out all the crazy hormones that make her aggressive and brutal."

"Then we can use that to our advantage as well" Trent said. "What do you think would happen if we isolated her from the action long enough for her anger to resurface?"

"She'd berserk" Cody pointed out.

"Right" Trent agreed.

"But how do we do that?" Noah asked. Everyone was surprised to see him and gave him their full attention for a moment.

"Uh" Trent nervously began, feeling awkward leading his team when his leader had just respawned. "I'm not sure. We'd need to get her distracted enough and just send her away from the action."

"I'll do it" Heather offered. The team was just as surprised to see her, and gave an extra gasp of shock when she offered to put herself in mortal danger for her team. "I can get her attention easier than anyone else. She's a monster, but she knows how to prioritize and pick her targets carefully. Once she sees the chance to get me alone she'll take it for her team. Trust me."

"That'll be easy" Gwen said in a huff. She was also alive now, but Trent was the only one who took her presence as a pleasant surprise.

"You don't think it'll work?" Noah asked.

"Oh, I'm sure it will" Gwen said confidently, "but trusting Heather? That'll take a lot more skill than I have." Leshawna held her hand to her mouth and laughed quietly. Heather stayed quietly unphased and pulled up her mask.

"I'll just be going now" Heather announced. "Don't wait up."

"Oh we won't" Noah said. "We're all going to the point ASAP."

"What about our mini-dispensers?" Leshawna asked.

"Oh, those" Noah said, realizing that he had almost forgotten his plans. He jogged over to the white board, pressed a stud on the marker holder, and the entire board started sliding up. Eleven slots with nine small, lunchbox shaped devices beeping with buttons and valves were hung on the inside of the wall. Each one was colored blue with some chips in the paint, an obvious pre-made pallet of choice. Somehow Noah had made all of them within the span of time from before the match started and was able to stow them all away. Just how, who could say, but no one was asking questions. Instead they all took one for themselves and Noah gave one to Heather to give to Izzy.

"""

"Okay" Leshawna began, "remember when I had a problem with that little-big-head? Well those problems just got vaporized."

"""

"Strap them firmly around your waist" Noah instructed. "They will heal you for one health point per second, but they will also prevent you from losing all of your health at full in one shot."

"So Courtney's sniping is nearly irrelevant" Cody assumed.

"Pretty much" Noah said. "Now, at pre-programmed intervals it will also replenish your ammunition."

"How long of intervals?" Trent asked, securing his device.

"About five minutes" Noah flatly said.

"Mine won't fit" Owen said, struggling to clip his together.

"Try around your arm, then" Noah said. "It honestly doesn't matter where it is, but if it gets shot more than once it's broken. Just make sure no one hits it or explodes it, okay?"

"Yeah sure" Heather said sarcastically. "Try to make sure the rockets, grenades and bullets don't pierce through our stomachs or other important organs. Just make sure the stupid doo-hickies keep working. Huph! I'm going out there."

"Have fun" Noah said as she ran. She turned invisible just as she left to make her job of delivery easier. "I would suggest we get moving as quick as we can. The longer we wait to plan, the longer they have to move into position." The Blue team thusly gathered their arms, steeled their nerves and moved out. Gwen and Owen teamed up with Trent running their flank to snipe. Justin and Leshawna formed an explosives team with Cody behind them for cover. Lindsay was dead, Beth still held out somewhere on the map and Izzy...was kicking ass.

"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Izzy cackled. She had her flamethrower out, blasting flames at full force, detonating each rocket as it came close and flipping out of the way of stream after stream of bullets. "Come and get me you PANSIES!!!" she taunted. Courtney made a snipe at her, but Izzy's mad agility made her miss and plant a bullet in the wood of the wall behind her. Courtney tried to shoot again but had to reload and griped about it under her breath. As she loaded she missed seeing the entire Blue team sprint across the field, absorbing the odd bullet and splash explosion damage, as they ducked into the small doorway between the wooden stairwell and the point room.

"Let's get to it" Noah said.

"Got it" Courtney chirped. She aimed up and went back to shooting, unaware of the hell coming her way...

* * *

"Cody, turret now!" Noah commanded. Cody dropped a turret an let it build itself while he guarded his read with a shotgun. "Leshawna, mines here!" Leshawna spread an array of sticky mines all over the inside of the door frame that led down the stairs and into the base. "Gwen and Owen to point!" he ordered over the radio. Gwen and Owen were already there and Izzy was glad to see them.

"Oh hey!" Izzy shouted between her labored breaths from constant jumping around. "Hey guys! Can you toss me some ammo? And a heal or two?"

"Here" Gwen called, throwing her an ammo box. It absorbed into her upon impact, recharging her nearly depleted ammunition. Gwen then started healing her.

"Where's Heather with the package?" Owen asked.

"Done" heather said. She decloaked between the two and motioned to her handiwork. Somehow, while Izzy was flipping about, she was able to secure the device around her waist so the mechanical part was at her rear. "You can thank me later." The egotistic lilting in her voice was as palpable as the very real explosions that were saturating the capture area. Gwen and Owen covered their eyes and faces to save them from the heat, but all of a sudden, everything stopped. The smoke and dust finally cleared with Owen and Gwen coughing the whole time.

"Owen, Gwen" Noah began over the radio, "what's going on? All the fire just stopped."

"We're not sure" Gwen said, covering her mouth and nose with a contagion mask.

"Where'd you get that?" Owen asked.

"Everything just stopped for some reason" Izzy responded. "I think they ran out of ammo or something."

"That wasn't it" said a nerdy, deep voice from above. Harold was in the point room now, clinging to the ceiling with hooks in his hands and cleats on his feet.

"""

"They aren't cleats" Harold defended. "They're special shoes I ordered from the back of _American Ninja_ magazine, used for rock climbing, wall running and sometimes golf."

"""

"It was to give me this chance!" he announced. With blade drawn he dropped down and made a cleaving swing for Izzy's neck. In an instant the psycho-girls' genius brain calculated her chances of survival, and the best she could come up with was a very flat and toneless

"Crap." Harold swung. His sword had somehow missed the mark. In a sheer act of courage and determination, Owen jumped to the rescue, his big white butt getting hit instead of Izzy's slender neck. "Oh no! OWEN!" Izzy shouted.

"""

"As a post-game note" Noah said, "I reviewed the footage of Harold's entrance. Apparently he collaborated it brilliantly with Geoff to ride on a rocket that he shot and jumped off at the very last second somewhere in the middle of the attack. I have to say, I am honestly impressed with his ingenuity. Bravo Harold. Now go eat a sandwich you two-ounce freak of a ninja."

"""

"Izzy" Owen groaned painfully. In the sweeping drama of things, Gwen went unaffected and drew out her saw. She was determined to keep the point from anyone for as long as she possibly could. She attacked Harold head on, throwing him off and sending him heel over toe outside the base and into the dusty ground. He landed on his 'ninja shoes' with his sword poised and ready to defend while Gwen swung for the fences with her bone saw in one hand and a scalpel in the other.

"Oh Owen" Izzy began dramatically, pulling back her mask, "why did you do it?"

"Love makes us do crazy things" Owen strained to say. Thankfully the device he wore on his arm had kept his health at one from the dangerous blow and was healing him slowly. "I'm sure you can understand...my love."

"Don't do this to me Owen" Izzy said, her eyes tearing up. "You can't die. There's, like, a half-minute respawn time! You just came back to life!"

"Don't worry, girl" Owen said, placing his hand on hers. "There will always...be...Venezuela..." With that, Owen dropped with his tongue hanging out and eyes rolled up. Izzy made a deep and throaty gasp, wringing her fingers up to her mouth.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-wait. I've never been to Venezuela" Izzy suddenly said.

"You haven't?" Owen asked.

"You haven't either" Izzy said honestly. Owen put his hand to his meaty chin and thought for a second.

"We'll always have Muskoka, Ontario" he said with some unneeded excitement.

"That place sucked" Izzy said, now becoming impatient and placing her hands on her hips. "Wait, you're not even dying, are you?"

"No" Owen admitted.

"You actually getting better right now, aren't you?" Izzy demanded.

"Yes" Owen shamefully admitted.

"What!?" Izzy gasped. She grabbed Owen by the arm and dragged him up to his feet. "You're alright? Well...now I'm mad at you!"

"What!?" Owen shouted in shock. "Wha, what'd I do?"

"I was worried over you" Izzy said "and you aren't even hurt. That's the same as lying to me, Owen, and that's not something an aspiring boyfriend of mine should do! Above all things, even raccoons and the RCMP, I hate liers!"

"I wasn't doing it intentionally" Owen said, becoming stressed.

"Hey!" Courtney shouted. "They're done fighting!"

"KILL!!!" Duncan roared. Izzy and Owen jumped away and ducked under their arms as the barrage of insane rocket and bullet fire continued on the point.

"Maybe this isn't the best time" Izzy said nervously. A rocket exploded behind her, kicking up her skirt.

* * *

Just outside the fight was wearing down and the victor emerged. With blood staining her corset it was Gwen who miraculously triumphed over Harold! He lay in a bloody mess with tangled hands reaching to the sky for salvation. Gwen had torn him a new one and then stitched it up and torn it open again. Now, as she was underneath the bridge and her mind was swimming with thoughts of mayhem, she readied herself for a new type of attack. She unloaded her syringe gun to make a stairway of needles in the wooden plank wall that led right behind Duncan.

"CHARGE!" Gwen shouted. She sprinted up the steps, threw her scalpel into Duncan's back and began sawing off his neck.

"GAH!" Duncan shouted. "A little help, here!!!" It was too late. By the time Courtney looked over with her scope Gwen was already berserking all over the impromptu resting area made by Zeke and Tyler. Tyler was getting his legs hacked off in rapid chops while Zeke just watched in total cowardice. Then he stopped shivering and looked at his sweating hands.

"""

"The thing is" Ezekiel began, "girls kinda scare me. I mean, not girls just like Eva and Courtney, they scare everybody, but one time where I was a little kid going to public school, a girl came skipping up to me and asked if I could be her boyfriend. I was so nervous I thought I was going to pass out, but right before I could say yes I...um...peed my pants. I was so embarrassed that my therapist said I never really recovered from it. So, really, I'm not sexist, I just try to be as cautious as I can be around girls, eh?"

"""

But now that fear had left him. The moment Gwen used her saw to carve off Tyler's legs she wasn't a dainty, skippy little girl but a rough, tough, angry warrior. This Ezekiel could deal with. He stared her down, wrench in one hand and the other in his hoodie pocket. Gwen glared down at him with glowing white eyes, full of MVP power (or MVPower), and she pounced at him. Three skin-slicing knives in one hand and a bloody, serrated saw in the other. Zeke refused to flinch. He intercepted her downward carving slash and tightened his wrench around her saw, disabling it. He pulled it away, loosened the grip and let the saw fly away into the rocky wall.

"You twerp!" Gwen shouted. She kicked at him with her curb-stomping Goth boots, but he evaded with total apathy in his eyes. Gwen jumped down and slashed at him with her bladed hand, cutting him for minimal damage and landing in a crouch. "I'm gonna make you regret ever being born!" Ezekiel pulled the hood up on his sweatshirt and tightened the ropes.

"Bring it on, eh" he taunted.

"""

"Wow" Gwen said as if coming out of a daze. "So that's what it feels like to be Izzy. It's like being on a roller coaster with a blindfold and earplugs...I think I'm gonna hurl soon."

"""

* * *

So the first map of Dustbowl continues with more fighting and some rather unexpected berserk action. Izzy and Owen are having relationship troubles, eh? I wonder if that will be patched up by the time the match is over. Unlikely. What about Duncan and Courtney? Have they been giving themselves time between reloading to be all lovey-dovey like Geoff and Bridgette? More importantly, what kind of amazing strategies will be concocted during the havoc and hellfire? Can Noah continue to professionally outwit and effectively embarrass Courtney, or will Courtney be able to win this game of chaotic chess? Find out in the conclusion of the first part of the longest map battle in TDTF history!


	41. Dustbowl 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Gwen versus Ezekiel! One of the most popular, rightly-hyped characters of the show versus Mr. Underdog himself! Well, not even an underdog, just plain under. Zeke was confident this time, an unusual occurrence, and Gwen was plain crazed and covered with blood. She barely had the sense to fight smart, her berserk methods up til now doing just what she wanted of them.

"I think" Gwen began, holding her surgical knives tight in her hands "that you could use some emergency surgery. How about a free vasectomy!?"

"No thanks, eh?" Zeke said, hopping away while Gwen started swinging. "My stomach's fine."

"""

"That's what that is, right?" Zeke asked. "Something with the stomach, right?...um..."

"""

Gwen started stabbing low, then when Zeke lowered his wrench to guard she kicked high, slamming him in his chin. He was shaken, his brain rattle against the walls of his skull. Gwen stomped back down to her feet and threw one of her knives. It hit Zeke in the shoulder, causing some painful damage.

"Zeke!" Courtney called over the radio. "Are you alright down there? I saw Gwen PMSing her way down."

"Oh, not really" Zeke weakly called. Gwen was coming slowly now with her eyes still shining bright white. She stabbed him straight in the heart and twisted her knife around. Then she pulled it out and Zeke's health started draining with his blood onto the ground.

"Hehe..." Gwen chuckled. She had won, it seemed, but her victory was short-lived.

"""

"Oh my god" Gwen gasped. "I had no idea what I was doing! I swear! I'm not that evil...not usually. This game must be screwing with my brain to make me super aggressive."

"""

"Blah!" Heather shouted. She came hopping down through the tunnel with an angry Eva chasing after her. "Come on, thunder-thighs! Can't you run any faster?"

"I'll show you the thunder!" Eva roared. She came charging in after Heather. The clever spy used her own teammate as a shield, flipping clear over Gwen while Eva came barreling through the mine like a freight train. She tackled into Gwen and blew her apart with a muted explosion.

"Since when could your shoulders explode!?" Heather demanded, flipping up to the wooden wall and grabbing hold of the ceiling. Eva prepared her gun with loud revving while Heather circled around her. She was behind Eva, sword drawn and kill ready, but instead of simply killing her in a single shot she threw a single knife into her back and started running away again.

"Help..." Zeke wheezed, drawing from his final breath.

"No thanks" Heather said, sprinting past him.

"""

"Any other game" Heather began "I would take a free kill, even if someone on my team was already eying it down, but not this time. They respawn way to fast, and every second has to count. At least that lumbering fool Eva is savvy to my plans..."

"""

And fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the side you're cheering for, Eva turned with a growl and began the chase again, trying to run down the spry and nimble spy. Meanwhile, at the main battle ground, the explosions incoming to the point had become manageable to the point where Izzy could deflect them with bursts of concentrated air. Owen stood guard, watching over the stairs while camping the ammo in the corner. Trent was alive, but without proper maneuvering he knew it wouldn't be for long.

"I've got to get Courtney out of the game" he said. He was pressed up against the huge, thick silo that Courtney wasn't shooting at. Her fire was concentrated on the evasive Izzy and she couldn't see anyone else. Trent checked his gun, made sure it was loaded, and spun out from his cover in an aiming crouch. "I've got you..." Trent whispered.

"Sniper up!" Geoff called. Courtney heeded the call, looked up from her sight and saw Trent aiming her down. She dodged, not even seeing the glowing blue dot on her face, and avoided the shot completely. Trent ducked back into cover and started running, staying as close to the wall as he could. Courtney looked through her thermal scope and lost track of him beyond the pale-blue hue of the silo.

"Dammit!" Courtney called. "Where's Harold!?"

"I just respawned" Harold called on the radio.

"Come up here quick" she commanded "and kill Trent! I can't snipe with him sniping me out!"

"No can do, boss" Harold said. "Heather's down here at the base, leading Eva around. I need to kill her before she starts camping up out." Courtney looked over at her lone soldier Geoff as a rocket was rebounded into his face. Now he had no face and was dead.

"This isn't getting better" Courtney said dreadfully. "We need a push. A huge push through to their point!"

"What about Izzy?" Sadie asked, not too far away. "I think I can take care of her if I have enough time. Sadie and Katie, get in there and mess them up. When you die, wait at the base. In fact, everyone wait at the base if you die. Otherwise, move to my position immediately for briefing!"

"Roger" Harold replied.

"""

"This" Courtney began nervously "is getting tense. I can't seem to get my better judgment into play here! It's all rush this or berserk that! I can't squeeze an intelligent thought between all of that."

"""

"Okay Izzy" Courtney lowed. "Time to die..." Courtney edged herself out of cover just far enough to see Izzy standing with her eyes shifting restlessly. Trent was aiming but couldn't see her head and didn't want to go too far out of cover. It was quiet...

"...too quiet." Noah said.

"What is?" Cody asked.

"Everything" Noah said dramatically. A loud bang, one from a certain sniper rifle, echoed through the caverns and the wide open canyons. Courtney planted a bullet straight into the skull of the manic Izzy. A stream of blood followed hr head as it drifted down.

"Boom" Courtney gleefully whispered. "Headsho-HUH!?" Izzy had fallen, rocked onto her back, raised up her legs and kicked herself back onto her feet with glowering eyes and a devil-may-dare smile. "What the hell!?!?" Courtney shouted, standing up to stomp in a huff. Trent capped her in the head, killing her instantly, and then slowly came out from his cover.

"Now that" Trent began "is how you Headshot..."

* * *

"RAAAAAHHH!!!" Sadie and Katie roared. They charged through the mine shaft, ran out the sliding chain-link doors, passed through the threshold and were blown into tiny, bloody bits. An array of three rocket-launching mini-turrets were all fixed on targeting anything that came through that opening, courtesy of Noah's amazing building abilities.

"Was that all of them?" Noah asked.

"Not yet" Heather said. She decloaked from above and dropped down to the ground. "Eva's still up and I think Harold just revived."

"We can't waste a second" Noah said. "Everyone to the base" he ordered over the radio. "We're holding out here. Operation: Last Stand!"

"That sounds easy" Owen said happily.

"Not really" Noah replied, picking up his spent tools. "Cody, stick with me."

"Got it" Cody confirmed.

"Did I miss something important?" Heather asked.

"""

"No holds barred" Noah said. "This is an all or nothing strategy, something I tend to avoid. We're going to gather our resources, environmental and metallic, to barricade every opening but one. Then we funnel the enemy through that one entrance and kill them as quickly as they can run in."

"""

"Coming" Gwen called. "I just respawned. Trent and I are coming in together."

"Through where?" Noah asked. "We need to be one-hundred percent positive that no spies get in here. Harold could sink this whole boat." Izzy made a loud and gleefully shrill gasp. "Yes...go ahead" Noah said.

"SPY CHECK!!!" Izzy roared. She cranked her flamethrower to maximum discharge and longest range. Her entire clip would burn in only a few seconds, but this way her stream of fire could fork around the walls and cover the entire inside of the base. She fired, first on Owen, then hit everyone else as they came in through wherever they wanted.

"Is that it?" Noah asked. "Good. I'm setting up the first wall. Stay clear of the front of the wide entrance, hereafter dubbed 'Broadside'."

"Aye aye, captain" Izzy said with a salute. Leshawna had already covered the base point with half of her sticky grenades.

"Arm four at the top stairs" Noah instructed as he set up his newest construct "and four more at the side door."

"No problem" Leshawna said. She moved off the point, reloaded her gun, detonated the other mines and started going by Noah's plan.

"""

"Irritated?" Leshawna asked. "A little bit. But you know what? Noah's been right so far and his plans almost always work. I think we can survive not having our home base covered if our infielders are keeping their feet on the base hard enough."

"""

"You almost healed, Izzy?" Gwen asked, noticing how hard her tiny pack was working.

"Ah, no sweat" Izzy said. "I was surprised that I wasn't dead, but I still jumped straight back up. It was like a hair-trigger reaction, like a reflex you know? Like, 'oh, I'm not dead, I should get back up' and it totally threw her off. I mean, I could hear her from all the way over here. She was so pissed!"

"You done yet?" Leshawna asked, having finished her work in the time that Izzy was babbling. "Hey Brain-Man, anything else we can do to help?"

"Engineer only work here" Noah said. "Just keep a sharp eye out. We need time to make sure this all goes as well as it can."

"So" Lindsay began, "should I go out and scout their base?"

"Big negative" Noah said. "Once you're out of the defense mainframe it's going to be a bitch getting back in."

"Oh" Lindsay groaned. "So...what should I do?"

"Stay up near the steps" Noah said "and hide with your gun. It's the most lethal at close range."

"What about me?" Justin asked. Noah squinted at him and cupped his chin to seem less like he was being distasteful and more like he was being ingenious.

"""

"Honestly" Noah said "my trust in Justin is starting to whither away. So far he hasn't done anything to upset the team or its balance, but with his insanely good looks and devilish charismatic charms he could easily usurp me and screw up an entire game. He may be hot, but a keen strategist and quick thinker? I'm not willing to risk it to find out."

"""

"Stay back here" Noah ordered "in the far corner and shoot them as they come down the stairs. Beth, you take Owen's place and do the same from around the corner. Owen, you take center on the point with Izzy. Izzy...just do your thing, girl."

"Yes, sir!" Izzy said. Owen sheepishly moved in and started getting healed by Gwen. Noah gave Gwen a thumb up but missed the deep scowling that Izzy was giving the nervous big man.

"We'll talk about this later" Izzy said, wagging her finger.

"Okay" Owen agreed hesitantly.

"""

"I'm trying to keep her calm" Owen said "so she doesn't go berserk on us. When the enemy team gets here, I'll stop and let her berserk all she wants, though."

"""

"Okay" Noah said. "That looks about right. I'll activate it."

"I'll check on the others" Cody said, running to the hall. "You guys almost done here?"

"Been done, shorty" Leshawna said. All the spare wood and boxes that were lying in the corner had been used to totally barricade the side entrance. Now only the top entrance at the top of the stairs remained. The defense was successful, and the Red team only had one real choice once Noah activated his newest contraption.

"Aren't you going to unleash the beast yet?" Owen asked anxiously.

"General" Trent said, running up to Noah. "I missed my call in the roll. Where is my position?"

"Drop the army bit, please" Noah said. "Personally, I find that humor flat. You're here, to shoot them down with all the distance you need, through the hole in the wall." Trent, Owen and Gwen started looking around curiously. Izzy leaned out from Owen and saw a very long metallic object lying the length of the wide-open entrance to the point.

"Uh" Gwen started, "what hole?" Noah raised up a remote control and pressed a button. A shrill beeping started up, followed by the whir and whine of mechanical parts from the long, thin metal structure on the ground. Then the device widened and a thick wall of scrapped metal came shooting up with several small holes in it. Aside from the window, the entire point room was lightless and the aged haze and fog from that window dimmed the light to a very low glowing. Trent looked at it for a second, then picked a hole at random.

"Courtney can't shoot through this" Noah bragged "but she can shoot through the holes. Thankfully, with the sun in its proper place, you should all see just where those holes are." A beam of light stretched from each of the tiny holes and hit the defenders, coincidentally, right between their eyes.

"Not a moment too soon" Trent said. "Here they come!"

* * *

"ALL OR NOTHING CHAAAAAARGE!!!" Courtney roared. Her plan seemed simple enough. Her team came rushing out through the tunnels just as an elevator-chime rang out to signal five-minutes remaining. A five minute endless rush on a sealed-off base. Despite the obvious disadvantage and handicap of going through a perilous funnel, Courtney remained optimistic. She flanked the long way, through the upper-level tunnel to the sliding yellow mesh door and popped out quickly. Cody's level three turret beeped in response to her presence and aimed at her, but she retreated quick.

"There's a turret at the only entrance" Courtney said. "Duncan! Mortar!"

"On it" Duncan said. He prepared his long-ranged mortar from the cover of the boxes on the tiny sniper ledge, keeping an eye on the sniper barrel jutting out from the wall. "Hey, Trent's sniping. Tell the boys and girls to chill for a second."

"CHAAAAARRRRGE!" Sadie and Katie yelled in tandem. They ran straight across the field and started veering for the side entrance, but in their blind berserk they didn't see that it was boarded up and slammed into it. They groaned in pain while Cody aimed through a strategic hold in the wall with his pistol.

"Hi girls" Cody greeted. Katie and Sadie both looked at the gun and started retreating, weak pistol bullets biting at them from behind.

"One body" Trent said, aiming at Katie, "one-half brain." He got her in the head. Sadie ran back to try and help her up and got brained as well. "Two bodies, one brain."

"Nice" Izzy hissed.

"Red alert!" Noah called from his covert cover right under the point-room window. "Red alert!"

"What's a red alert?" Gwen asked.

"Eva with two medics" Noah answered.

"Oh" Gwen replied in understanding. "Well...shouldn't that be a more extreme color?"

"RAAAAAGH!" Eva roared. She came stomping through the mine tunnel with DJ and Bridgette healing her from a safe distance. Geoff stayed with the team to keep the medics alive, even if he had to take a whole battery of rockets and die in the process. "I'll break your bones into dust!"

"And then do what?" Heather asked from just inside the base. "Use them to make your porridge!?"

"GRRRRR!" Eva growled.

"""

"Oh, haha!" Eva sarcastically laughed. "I haven't heard that since the third grade. Real witty, you little stick-assed-"

"""

"Heather retreat" Noah ordered. "We need you at the main point." Heather nodded and did an extensively complicated combat-roll down the steps and into the room, ending with a perfect dismount out of a backflip onto her feet. "Couldn't you have gotten here faster?" Noah asked.

"Ugh!" Heather huffed. Izzy was giving her a suspicious look, making her increasingly uncomfortable. "Um...what?"

"Oh, nothing" Izzy said, turning around but still eying her in the window.

"I'm hiding on the ceiling" Heather said, straightening and tightening her mask. She jumped up and cloaked into the shadows. Justin watched the exchange and made a special note of it.

"She isn't moving" Lindsay reported. "Can we go back to code blue now? Red is such a last-season color."

"Lindsay?" Noah kindly asked. Lindsay nodded into the microphone to tell him she was listening. A thud was heard just at her feet and a sticky mine appeared with a dim Red glow. "Retreat" Noah flatly ordered. Lindsay jumped down the steps, falling foolishly over herself and tumbling awkwardly into the point room.

"Ow" she said.

"Yes!" Trent exclaimed. He reloaded his gun, obviously doing very well as the sole offensive player. He knew Duncan was firing shots at their entrance but he couldn't see him at all. So far he had taken out Sadie, Katie, a sprinting Tyler, an angered Zeke and he injured a frustrated Courtney. "Courtney retreated for now."

"She'll be back" Noah said. "If she isn't dead she'll be back with a vengeance."

"Problem" Cody said shakily as he entered the point room. "Eva's waiting for two consecutive uber-charges! She'll decimate all our hard work with a single charge!"

"Watch her shoulder, guys" Gwen warned. "They can make you explode."

"Awesome!" Izzy exclaimed. "I wish my hair made people explode, but most of the time _it_ just explodes instead, especially in high humidity. Thank god w haven't had any of that recently, right?"

"Izzy" Noah commanded, "shut up and get ready." Izzy lowered her mask and aimed her evil-looking flamethrower at the space where Eva would inevitably come through. Justin took a knee and aimed. Beth held herself at the ready with her rocket launcher hoisted up straight beside her. It was all quiet on the home front...for a solid second.

"_Two minutes remaining!"_ Chris announced. The ultimate crunch time.

"Now!" Courtney ordered from her hidden place. Eva began her monstrous charge in. Bridgette activated her ubercharge while DJ started healing Geoff who was close behind. She ran in and nearly got blown out by the explosive pushing power of the twin rocket launchers down below. To add to that Lindsay was shooting past her at Geoff. The barrage lasted for eight continuous rockets. Eva started flickering between glowing Red and normal, so DJ switched off with his gun charged and ready. As soon as Bridgette's wore off DJ ignited his and they continued to charge.

"She's invincible again!" Beth called. Eva slammed into her the moment she came through the door, killing her with her explosive shoulder charge. Eva intentionally ignored Justin, whom she couldn't easily defeat, and rounded the corner tight with her gun revving.

"Crap!" Cody exclaimed.

"Do something!" Gwen said. Owen looked mad. He threw down his gun, set his legs and pounced as far as his body would carry, landing right in front of Eva. He hit her gun away and made a grab for her. She grabbed at him with her bare hands and the struggle began.

"Move it, tubby!" Eva demanded.

"Lay off the roids, bulge-zilla!" Owen growled back. The strong-armed heavies battled it out while Geoff took the brunt of Justin's rocket fire.

"I can't fight back!" he exclaimed painfully. "He's too hot!" Justin finally outdid the damage Bridgette healed and blew Geoff apart. Bridgette felt more anger than lust towards the handsome gentleman, and saw Justin reloading his gun. She took out her syringe gun, but Izzy's long-range nozzle fried her before she could injure a single hair on his amazing head.

"I'm out!" DJ warned as the uber energy flickered away. Eva looked back at her own arm to see it fading back to normal and glared forward. She stomped forward, making a tremendous push that sent Owen head over heels. He landed back at his gun and reached to grab it, but Eva was too quick and made a running punt for his jaw. Owen was damaged greatly by the attack and his legs went numb. Izzy turned her gun to a concentrated fire and burned Eva in seconds.

"More incoming!" Justin announced as he rolled away.

"This is it gang" Noah said. "It's do or die time! All or nothing. Winner take all. Yadda yadda. Izzy, you know what to do." Izzy didn't move at all. Her gun had stopped flickering with a starter flare as well. "Izzy?" Too late. Her head rolled down to the ground with a scowl of defeat under her mask and Harold stood tall in the middle of the mayhem.

"""

"How does he keep doing that!?" Noah demanded.

"""

* * *

"Prepare" Harold began in his nerdy, breathy voice "for despair!" he posed with his sword, aiming it down at Noah, and leaned in to make a charging stab.

"Oh crap" Noah groaned.

"HIYAH!" Heather shouted. She came down from the ceiling with a slash, injuring Harold from behind. She made a spinning strike to decapitate him but missed. Now the spies were dueling on top of the point.

"Don't let this defeat us" Noah commanded. "They're going to be coming in hard now!"

"Oh yeah we are" Duncan said as he rounded the corner. He was followed by Courtney who leaned out from the wall and sniped Trent in the head. Gwen turned on her ubercharge and began healing Leshawna who charged forward making suicidal grenade shots right at Duncan's chest. He managed to dodge enough of them and retreat to a safe distance, but Justin killed him with a stray rocket. Courtney, the one chick who nobody should ever mess with, made a desperate kick to Leshawna's ribs and knocked her over. She took out her machete and started glaring down Noah, who was across the room. Gwen stopped her from a full charge by tripping her onto her chin.

"Backup is coming!" Tyler announced.

"Get here now!" Courtney demanded. Through the use of a teleporter, Tyler came into the infield and began his powerful sprinting into the base. He made it to the sight of the action, just in time to scattergun blast Leshawna and get blown apart by Justin who hid in the adjacent corner of Noah, using Owen's unconscious body as a shield.

"Our Heavy's down" Noah said, reloading his shotgun. "We need a more concrete plan."

"Let go of me!" Courtney demanded. Gwen held her down by pressing hard with her steel-soled Goth boot, keeping her closer to the ground than she wanted to be.

"I don't think so" Gwen said mockingly, eying over her saw as she prepared a painful new procedure.

"AAARGH!" Sadie and Katie roared. They came around the corner tight and blasted Gwen across the room. Sadie then aimed over at Owen and gave him two rockets to the upturned belly, blowing him up as well. Then they saw Justin and went weak-kneed. Courtney managed to get up from her crawl and rolled quick enough to get up close to Gwen and make a lunging stab with her machete, killing the only Blue medic while acrobatically back flipping her way back to her own. Noah shot her out of the air and left her for dead out of sight. That's when Zeke came in with two pistols, one he had picked up from Tyler, and outgunned Noah brilliantly.

"Nicely done" Courtney complimented. Zeke nodded and kept firing, keeping his eyes away from Justin. Knowing the sensation of constant stares and noticing just how much of that weight had vanished, Justin got up and quietly made his way across the room.

"Ahem" he began, clearing his throat. "Attention everyone. I have something I'd like to show you." Under his hypnotic spell, everyone stopped, except Courtney who was too weak to move. Instead she grabbed the gun from weak-willed Katie and began healing herself. Justin, now the center of attention again, pose elegantly with his arms to his sides and then ripped off his shirt to expose his supremely ripped body.

"""

"In some countries" Justin began, "my abs are considered lethal weapons. They can concentrate light to the point of a laser and scorch the grass with heat. Oh yeah, I really am that hot."

"""

The light of his awesome, rocking body shined out brightly for a few seconds, but after only a few seconds Courtney killed him with a swift decapitation of her machete.

"Oh, damn" Justin's head sighed as it fell to the ground. His body also fell stomach down onto the cold, hard metal point while Courtney stood in total apathy over her own grim actions.

"This is a war, people" Courtney lectured, "not a catalog shoot. It's do or die, so" and now she approached a fear-struck Cody, picked him up in a headlock and slit his throat in one clean, devilish motion, "start doing!!!" Her rousing confidence and suave antics roused up the morale in everyone. Harold overwhelmed a fearful Heather and killed her, Katie and Sadie beat down a helpless Lindsay, and after all the Blue soldiers were dead the wall of metal crumbled from a well-planted sapper.

"_And with less than a minute to spare"_ Hatchet announced, _"the Red team claims victory!" _The Reds all cheered while the Blues sat in their base and sulked. _"Blue team, please prepare for mandatory relocation as the next map will be yours to defend."_ Courtney was hoisted up on the shoulders of her team mates as they cheered with joy and jeered the losers from a distance. The only person on the Blue team who seemed to stay in high spirits was Noah, who was openly smiling where his entire team was much more sullen. Courtney also slipped in a much more sly and stealthy grin in the direction of her team's next major obstacle. The two genius champions of the game, the leaders of each team, were confident in victory and defeat.

For each of them had a plan...

"""

"I guess the lesson here" Courtney began cheerfully "is that you can do anything with the proper motivation."

"""

"I guess the lesson here" Gwen began skeptically "is don't bother stopping and unstoppable force, because they can flank around and immovable object."

"""

"I guess the lesson here" Justin said demurely "is that looks really _can't_ get you everywhere in life."

"""

"The real lesson" Noah said expertly "is this: If your enemy's general is PMSing, roll over and die. It will save everyone a gigantic headache that will never go away..."

"""

* * *

And now the map will change, and with it the strategies will shift as well! Will Justin take a more stern command of his amazing good looks and use them to his advantage, or has Courtney's powerful push brought a stop to his ultimate weapon? Can the Blues get their morale back in time or will defeat overwhelm them? Will Izzy get her revenge for Harold's assassination? Will Noah's strategies continue to somehow fail?

How long will this fricken map be!? The answer: **LOOOONG!!!!** Tune in next week for the continuation of this dramatic war on _Total.  
Drama.  
TEAM FORTRESS!!!_


	42. Dustbowl 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The round resets! The map changes! With less than a minute to spare the Red team pulled out a surprise victory on the first of three maps! Now the Blues will defend from a more advantageous area of the huge map and continue to hold off the invading forces of Courtney's army. The time was halted as the teams planned, and soon the set-up period would begin for the Blues. Morale was mixed all around.

"I just can't believe it" Justin said, looking at his abs down his shirt. "How...could anyone resist me? I mean, look at me! LOOK!" Justin ripped off his shirt and let his glorious glow illuminate the locker room they were in. Noah was deep in his thought, writing on the board, so he was the only one not literally drooling over the hotness that was Justin's body.

"Wooooooow!" Lindsay awed.

"It's amazing!" Beth said.

"I could stare at that" Leshawna swooned "until my eyes watered."

"My eyes _are_ watering" Owen noted.

"""

"Don't think" Izzy began "that I'm like the rest of those pining...piners. I can resist a gorgeous face if I concentrate hard enough. I'm like a shark to their sheepiness!"

"""

Izzy was staring at Justin just as intently as the rest of them.

"""

"DAMMIT!" Izzy cursed. "He's too hot!"

"""

"Okay people" Noah began, still ignoring Justin's body, "let's get organized. This is a defense-priority map. There are multiple points where an engineer could set up and effectively stop the game. If we set ourselves up in just the right way, we can end their run here."

"Awesome" Owen said, still awing over Justin. Justin noticed that Noah was also unaffected and became paranoid.

"What's wrong with you!?" Justin demanded at Noah. "Why don't you think I'm hot!?"

"Because I'm busy" Noah said "thinking on how to win. I can swoon later...or never. Probably never."

"""

"If he can resist" Leshawna began "the luscious hunk of man that is Justin, then he really is a natural leader. Totally unaffected by distraction even when its as amazing as Justin! I couldn't ask for a better leader right now."

"""

"Listen up" Noah ordered. Justin put on a camouflage suit with puffy sleeves and a Kevlar vest with a belt of extra rocket grenades. Even in soldier-wear he was smoking hot. "Here's the map of the first point. Cody, you're on a solo operation. Build a turret on the top of this shed overlooking the Red exits. That way they'll have to destroy it to move on unharmed. Trent, you snipe from as far away as possible and keep a sharp eye out for Courtney. She's your responsibility."

"Yes sir" Trent saluted.

"Owen" Noah continued "you're taking point with Gwen backing you up. Justin and Beth, you defend Cody's turret from the shed roof. Leshawna, Izzy, Heather and I will all be in this room here, which is on the second floor of the point room. The actual point is built on an extended corner and is out in the open. No walls they can build to defend themselves. There are only two ways into this room, so Izzy will defend the stairs while Leshawna covers the point and defends the doorway with her melee. I'll build my turret in the doorway so it'll be more difficult to destroy."

"What about Duncan?" Leshawna asked.

"A valid fear" Noah said. "His mortar could destroy my turret, and it could destroy Cody's turret much quicker, but mine will be built inside, so only splash damage will hurt it. The main use of my turret will be to look over the point and blast anyone stupid enough to try and capture it."

"What about me?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh right" Noah said. "I'm not used to using Scouts on defense."

"She and I could switch places" Izzy offered. "She'll defend those steps with her scatter gun and bat while I take the front-lines. That way they'll all concentrate on killing me before they advance."

"Good plan" Noah said. "We'll do that. At the start of the match, Cody, drop a teleporter entrance and build an exit in the inside of the shed you build your turret on. You can use that as a quick means to get back to your mechanical base if you die. I'll build my own inside the room where we'll be holding out. Heather, you can stay or go at your own discretion, but I want you as our last line of defense against invaders. If the rest of us die and they start their capture, kill them or contest the capture as long as possible."

"Got it" heather said.

"""

"Things are getting heated" Noah said. "This battle will probably be a contest of strategic skill rather than raw firepower, so we definitely have an advantage. My worries right now are Eva and Justin. Eva because she actually can power through a strategy-centric game with her physical prowess and Justin because...well...he's beginning to show some telltale signs of megalomania. He's becoming somewhat like Heather is in her ambition to overthrown me and gain credit for our victories."

"""

* * *

"Okay gang" Courtney began with great enthusiasm, "great rush back there! I've got total confidence in you guys right now!"

"And you didn't before?" Duncan asked.

"I had doubtful moments" Courtney shamelessly admitted. "Now, we still have two maps to go for a total victory, but don't forget that in the event of a tie it will all come down to a time battle. If they can get to where we were in less time, they win, so we need to go through this map as quickly as possible."

"That'll be easy" Eva began "while they do everything in their power to box us out! It isn't as simple as 'go out and just win', this is Noah's big brain we're going up against. He knows this game better than any of us."

"Exactly" Courtney said, confusing her team. "He knows all the strategies that you can use in the _game_, but are we really in the game that much? We have total control of our bodies, we aren't just animated characters running on the random backdrop. No one is controlling us with little joysticks or colored buttons. We've got what he can't plan around: individual action and intellect!"

"Really?" Duncan said, motioning to Ezekiel picking his nose in the corner. "Do we really have that much intellect here?"

"Hey man" Tyler began, walking forward across the tiled linoleum floor, "why don't you try blaming yourself for the screw-ups instead of pointing fing-" and somehow, on a smooth surface, Tyler managed to trip over himself and slammed face-first to the floor.

"Ouch" Geoff noted with Bridgette in his lap.

"That's exactly what I mean" Courtney said. "Noah can only plan for the predictable. That's why, this match, no planning at all. Just go and do whatever you want! Use cover if you find it, climb the walls of the buildings, leave the first area alone and rush to the second all at once; I really don't care! We've got strength enough to plow over whatever strategic wall Noah and his team are building! Let's power through his defense and show him who the stronger team really is!"

"YEAH!" the Red team cheered.

"""

"No planning?" Eva said. "No structure? No ideas at all? Just blind rushing power? Oh yeah, this is my game!"

"""

"_Blue team, begin set-up!"_ Chris announced.

"Let's get out there too" Courtney said. She ran for the gates which opened and then advanced into the narrow cave. "We can see what they're doing up close!"

"Can't they shoot us from up close?" DJ asked with worry.

"Who cares" Eva growled, yanking him along. "We've only got a five-second respawn. They've got a half-minute." Zeke planted a teleporter entrance as he left the base, then ran back in to restock his metal. He ran into Tyler and they both crashed to the floor.

"Ouch" Zeke groaned.

"""

"I think the team" Zeke began "will be surprised with all I've learned so far. I'm really gonna impress them this time, eh!"

"""

Right at the start the Blue team was blazing through the stage, laying strategic traps everywhere they could. In place of the mini-dispensers from the first game, Noah prepared pre-made land-mines that could be set anywhere and on anything. They were like automatic sticky-mines with proximity triggers. One was given to every team member except for Noah himself, who trusted his team to use the weapons where it would matter the most.

Teleporters were built and metal was collected by the troops as they went along, all of them passing it off to Noah as he ran into the building to build his turret and exit portal. With no dispenser, repairs would be arduous, but he would manage with his genius skill. Trent was hiding in the shadows, wearing dry grass from the dusty ground as added camo. Only the sun's glinting light off his sniper barrel occasionally gave away his position. Owen and Gwen made their presence very well known by marching up to the gate where the Red team was waiting and taunting them. Gwen danced and gestured at them while Owen, much to the Red's horror, mooned them.

Cody's base was built, a dispenser at his back and his sentry at his front. Noah's special level 3.5 turret was up as well, this one sporting heat-tracing rocket capabilities programmed for the Red team members. Only Harold would be able to evade them, but from what Gwen saw in her taunting Harold was already invisible or hiding, ready to charge stealthily at a moment's notice. Izzy waited just around the corner of the smaller Red exit, crouched down so the soldiers that were ready to go running out of that door could not see her.

The players were set, the plans were in motion, and Chris was baffled as to why the button he pressed so rapidly in the real-world control did not work.

"I don't get it" Chris said to himself. "This button is supposed to control the thunder! What's the point of a climactic stand-off without dramatic weather effects?"

"What about the grenades?" Chef asked. "They still aren't working. I can't get them to stay on anyone without the program going all...screwy."

"Something's up" Chris said, cupping his perfectly carved man-chin. "One of the interns must have screwed with the programing."

"Dude!" Chef exclaimed, "you're about to miss your cue!" The timer was down to eleven seconds. Chris activated the PA and chimed in just in time to deliver his trademark pre-game wit.

"_The time is now!"_ Chris began. _"The second map of Dustbowl, one of many buildings and walls, will begin in 3! 2! 1!" _The gates all went open. The bullets started flying. The battle was on!

* * *

Right at the gong, proverbially as the actual starter was more of a bell, the Red team started moving out. Sadie and Katie ran out from the wood-shielded exit first to confront the terrible hockey-masked Izzy. She barbequed Katie in an instant but was pushed away by Sadie's rocket. She was injured, but alive. Duncan ran up after them and patted Sadie with a health-kit he was carrying, healing her and removing her burn. As Izzy regained her balance she heard a shot, a bounce, and then an explosion that blew her apart. A perfect ricochet shot from Duncan's powered-up grenade launcher finished off the Red's biggest threat.

Meanwhile, at the main gates, a tremendous push was taking place. Bridgette and DJ were healing Eva at the same time while she stood in the turret's line of fire and got pelted by bullets and rockets alike. Her health was slowly being depleted.

"I've got the shot" Trent whispered to himself. Geoff was making his way up the slope using Eva as cover and made a combat-roll away from Owen's gatling gun fire. Before he could shoot a rocket at the otherwise defenseless Cody, a sniper bullet pierced his head and killed him.

"I saw that!" Courtney exclaimed. She came up next and fired a few random shots in Trent's direction. Trent unflinchingly reloaded his gun and set himself back up.

"""

"Covering yourself with mud" Courtney angrily began "and grass to lower your heat signature is a cheap, cheap move. I mean, come on, he must have stolen that from _Predator_ or something. It's not original."

"""

"Next" Trent whispered. He aimed at Bridgette's head now, just barely visible above the slope, and fired. At that exact moment, however, an invisible Harold passed by on his way to the second base and absorbed the bullet with his thigh.

"GAH!" Harold shouted. Trent found himself overwhelmed with indecision. Should he kill Harold before he got too far or finish the job he originally intended to do? Should he switch positions to one where he would be less vulnerable now that Courtney knew where he was? All the strategy and choices clouded his mind, but as he was thinking he caught a dim glimmer of light where the invisible boy was running and smiled. He casually aimed and fired, startling Bridgette but not killing her as the bullet grazed and cut the hair on top of her hair.

"Damn" Trent cursed. His job was still only half-complete and Eva was still being healed. Just as he prepared his next shot at a sprinting Tyler the fast scout was blown apart by a mine placed right at the narrow exit that Izzy had defended previously. "Izzy's dead" Trent reported quietly over the radio.

"Roger that" Noah replied. "Those mines must be working, though. My toolbox keeps getting more options available."

"You sure they don't need more firepower out there?" Leshawna asked.

"I'll leave that up to you" Noah said as he pounded away at his amazing sentry. Leshawna, never one to think twice about herself, raised her gun up and marched down the steps to shoot from the pillbox-window style room directly below Noah and his guards. She aimed carefully and started lobbing grenades in Eva's direction. The added force of her explosives along with Justin's and Beth's forced the huge girl back with just a sliver of health left. Zeke attempted to come rushing out while Courtney fired rapidly at a distant Trent, but Cody's shotgun took out the rival medic before he could get too far away. Gwen and Owen stood bleeding in the middle of the action, their health slowly regenerating.

"Here comes the boom" Duncan lowed as he prepared his mortar for short-range fire. He targeted Cody's turret via Cody's head and started lobbing grenades. Courtney managed to pop up just long enough to hit Trent and then duck away before Owen's fire reached her.

"Darnit" Owen sighed.

"She can't hide forever" Gwen said.

"I'm hit" Trent painfully reported. "I'm retreating inside the building here."

"Roger that" Noah said.

"Are you alright?" Gwen asked over the radio.

"Yeah babe" Trent said as he limped into plain sight and then ducked into the small, office-furnished shack next to his original position. "Don't worry about me. Just keep the ground with Owen. I'll cover once I heal up."

"Do your best" Gwen said cheerfully.

"""

"Now those two" Noah began "I feel I can trust. Usually a romance or relationship on the battlefield will screw up the team, but they have great chemistry together. Even though they rarely work together because of their classes they still seem to coordinate themselves with more grace than Courtney's two-man teams."

"""

* * *

Suddenly, a huge explosion! Duncan's grenades decimated Cody's base, along with Cody, Beth and Justin who were stunned when they first got hit with the grenades form above. The forward turret defense was now gone.

"That hawk-haired punk" Leshawna began furiously "just crossed the line form safety to ass-whupping." Leshawna set down her gun and took out her still unused landmine. She climbed out the window and began her stealthy approach when the mine was grabbed form her hands by an invisible force.

"Leave it to me" Heather said. Leshawna was initially doubtful, but heather had already cloaked the device and was off around the corner. Leshawna couldn't complain about it, as moments later a huge blast was heard.

"GA-OW!" Duncan shouted. His lower half was a significant distance from his upper half, and a triumphant, arrogant Heather stood between those two parts in his simulated blood. "Dammit...I didn't know you could blow me up with that sword."

"Oh, I didn't" Heather said. "But I'm flattered that you automatically assume your death is always my fault. Thanks!" Duncan died a second later, just in time for Heather's taunt to take its full effect and piss him off.

"""

"You mark my words" Duncan angrily began, pointing at the camera, "I'm gonna skin that bitch before the end of this match. She's going down, way down!"

"""

"Nobody messes with my hubby" Courtney lowed to herself "and gets away with it!" From down in the cavern entrance she sniped Heather's head, just in time for the first minute and a half to expire. Now anxiety was setting in. "Is Eva healed up yet!?" she called across the cave.

"I'm fine" she called.

"I'm back too!" Kaite announced.

"Heal Eva!" Courtney ordered. "I'll cover you from the side and take out Gwen. You take out Owen."

"Got it" Eva said. She threw down her gun and prepared to take a running start out the gate.

"CHARGE!" Courtney ordered. The rest was up to her team. Without her constant input she was allowing her soldiers to operate to the fullest extent of their free-will. Her plans only extended so far, it seemed, as once Eva was out and the medics started healing the fight was beyond anyone's control.

"We've got a situation here" Gwen said over the radio. "Trent, we could use some cover!"

"I'm on it" a healthy Trent called. He rolled out the window and aimed down the field. Eva was grappling with Owen again, his gun forced out of his hands in her initial jump. Geoff was alive as well and was making his way around the long flank to shoot down Gwen from a medium range.

"Think again, party boy" Leshawna called. She fired a short volley into the wood-walled area and made Geoff dance away from the grenades and out of his threatening position. Gwen could already see the conclusion to this fight if she did nothing, and it wouldn't be pretty.

"""

"Eva's one of our biggest threats" Gwen said. "I shouldn't have to think twice about taking her down."

"""

"Cover me!" Gwen called on the general channel. Her message rang loud and clear, although to Noah's earpiece it was too loud and jarred him.

"Rupture my eardrums, why don't you?" Noah said, rubbing his throbbing head.

"I'm on it!" Lindsay called.

"No" Noah ordered. "I need you here to spy-check."

"Did someone say" Izzy called on the radio just before re-materializing in Cody's teleporter exit, "SPY CHECK!?"

"Izzy" Noah began, "kill everyone everywhere! Right now!"

"YES!" Izzy shouted. "Now those orders I can dig!" She came out jumping from the thin metal wall of the shed just in time to intercept the incoming blade of Harold. Now she was caught in a duel while the rest of her team continued fighting a chaotic fight. Owen pushed and shoved, throwing his massive weight around, while Eva came at him with three healing streams fueling her rage.

"Uber ready!" DJ called.

"Dammit!" Gwen called. "Owen, I'm going to leave you for a second. Can you take Eva on?"

"Oh sure" Owen grunted. "It's all good for me!"

"You're going down, tubby!" Eva growled. She nearly lifted him off the ground by the collar of his shirt, but couldn't quite pull it off without feeling a terrible strain at her lower back. Owen pumped his legs and forced himself back down, pushing down on Eva with twice as much force as before. Gwen activated her ubercharge with the medi-gun in one hand and ran with her saw in the other. Her surgical mask was up, as was her practice as of the last match, and she went about hacking the health away from Bridgette and Katie. Bridgette was defenseless, but Katie was tenacious enough to draw her own saw before getting ruthlessly chopped to bits. That just left a nervous DJ.

"""

"Sure I was scared" DJ admitted. "I mean, who wouldn't be? I've seen what that girl can do to a man's face. But you know what? I wasn't about to let her overwhelm me that easily! I may have taken a voluntary pacifist standing in this battle, vowing only to heal, but I will defend my friends to the death!"

"""

DJ activated the ubercharge and Eva glowed Red. Gwen aimed her gun past the huge girl at Owen and shared her power. The gauges were about equal with each other, meaning the power would diminish at roughly the same time. Gwen and DJ were caught up in their own battle, with Gwen chopping and sawing with her bone-saw and DJ blocking with his invincible medi-gun.

"I've got you covered" Courtney called.

"Why won't you just die!?" Gwen demanded. A sniper bullet ripped past Gwen's face and hit the barrel of Courtney's gun. The impact was jarring and frightened Courtney for just a moment, long enough for Leshawna to reload and fire her own volley into the Red's exit cavern to force Courtney into retreat.

"Yeah, baby!" Leshawna cheered. "That's how we roll!"

"Keep your eyes open, people" Noah warned. "They'll have a force ready to charge before we have a force to defend."

"Looks like" Izzy began with battle grunts and clashing of metal "they're one step ahead of you already, Big-Brain!"

"I'm keeping Courtney down" Trent said "but I can't hit Eva until that Uber wears off."

"I'm doing what I can" Gwen said. She was chopping at the specific points of DJ's gun that emitted the healing rays. Just a second left of charge and Gwen knew what to do. She redirected her serrated blade and one-hit killed DJ with a swift decapitation.

"""

"They must have left that out" Gwen began "of the list of perks for a super-Medic. You know, the decapitation and ridiculously sharp, bloody, body-eviscerating blade. I'm sure if Courtney knew it were a potential power she'd have more super-Medics by now!"

"""

"Ah, crap!" Eva exclaimed. She was raised up off the ground by the powerful arms of Owen and sniped at once. Owen dropped her body down and grabbed his gatling gun. Now that he was vulnerable again, Courtney sniped him and brought his health down to a single digit number through the wooden wall. She reloaded her gun quickly and ran down into the caverns to change up her angle and met a running Gwen. She had gone berserk (again) and was mad with the power of her blades, holding a fistful of scalpels in her off hand.

"Gwen's tripped!" Leshawna called. "She's going after Courtney with her saw!"

"Izzy's moods must be infectious" Noah said. "Good thing we don't spend a lot of time together." Izzy was still dueling Harold, but the battle was beginning to die down. The worked their way to the roof of the shed, somehow, and were exchanging blows rapidly. Izzy's ax managed to sail past Harold's defensive swing and chop deep into his shoulder while his blade raised up in his operational arm and stabbed through Izzy's stomach and out her back.

"Nice tie" Izzy said as she started breathing blood.

"At least you haven't gotten rusty yet" Harold said through painful grunts. They both fell apart, their weapons leaving the flesh they were hacked into, and they fell to the dusty ground below.

"CHARGE!" Duncan roared. He, Sadie, Tyler and Zeke ran from the main base while Courtney's machete tangled with Gwen's saw.

"Aren't you gonna help me!?" Courtney called.

"You told us to do our own thing" Duncan said. "That's what we're doing!"

"""

"Ooh!" Courtney huffed. "I hate it when they listen too hard. Still, even though we aren't exactly winning right now, I feel so pumped about this match! It's like...like I know we're going to win, and waiting to see how is just killing me with anticipation! Seriously, I don't want to wait even one second to respawn, I just want to go out now with my guns blazing and kill everyone!"

"""

* * *

Looks like Courtney has snapped! Along with Gwen and Izzy, will she be one of the berserkers? Can the Reds really work past the final great defense made by Noah and capture the point? Can Trent protect Gwen even in her current state? Can Owen keep up with all this intense action!? Can Justin bust out the goods and stop the game at once!?!? JUST CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN AND WAIT A WEEK! THE MATCH WILL BE DECIDED IN A WEEEEEEK!!!!

Don't worry, just wait it out. It will be worth it!


	43. Dustbowl 6

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Tyler took the lead. Duncan was right behind him as they ran for the point out in the wide, open terrain followed closely by Sadie and Ezekiel. Tyler made a mad dash for the exposed Trent as the sniping heart-throb aimed down the dirt at the side-stepping scout.

"Fine" Trent said. He dropped his sniper and whipped out his sub-machine gun, spraying bullets everywhere to hit Tyler with at least some small degree of force. Sadie fired a rocket from the far-right flank, almost against the building wall, and blew Trent up with a critical hit.

"Damn" Noah said, observing the fight from just above his huge turret. "Switching to manual control."

"What about Duncan's grenades?" Lindsay insightfully pointed out.

"Oh right" Noah said as he froze. "I forgot about those. And he's in the perfect position to use them!"

"I'm on it!" Lindsay said. She equipped her scattershot and sprinted out of the building with the full intent of killing Duncan from up close.

"""

"Lindsay's blossomed" Noah said "from her normal ditzy, perpetuating-stereotypical-Blondie into a real dependable soldier. By dependable I, of course, mean loyal, and by loyal I mean submissive to order. Thank god Heather isn't still trying to control her or I'd have some serious trouble."

"""

Lindsay ran up, totally surprising the forward assault team, and blasted Duncan square in the head. As an MVP with boosted health he didn't immediately die but he was wounded pretty badly. Tyler saw the action transpire and envisioned two forking scenarios. He could either save Duncan at the expense of possibly his own life or attempt the capture while Lindsay was preoccupied with slaying the rest of his team. Of course, none of them knew that Noah's super-turret was armed and ready quite yet.

"""

"She may be a babe" Tyler began, "she may be my girlfriend, and she may be the best kisser on this show, but darn it, I'm a Red! She's a Blue! Even if I really, really like her, I can't just get distracted for no reason! We haven't even made out since, what, that second match? That was ages ago!"

"""  
Tyler made his choice. He returned fire on Lindsay, catching her off guard, and Sadie blew her apart with her shotgun.

"Thanks, dude" Duncan said with great relief. "Way to murder your ex!"

"Ex?" Tyler asked.

"Well" Duncan began "she isn't gonna stay with you if you're gonna keep killing her, right?"

"Hang on guys!" Owen called. "I'm coming!" Owen was jogging his way across the field with his gun bouncing in his grip. Now that Courtney was stopped and Cody had returned through his teleporter to resume building his turret, Owen found himself without a real job in the wide open. He was rushing back to defend. Once he saw the four in range he began revving his gun. Sadie fired a rocket at him and, strangely, it didn't hit. It blew up mid-way between him and the gatling fire began.

"What happened?" Duncan asked as they all ducked against a stack of wood and tires.

"I don't know!" Sadie exclaimed. "Oh, I wish Katie were here. She'd know what happened. She's like, so smart!"

"Stop talking" Duncan ordered. "The point is right above us. Let's just touch it and start the capture!" Duncan rose his hand up slowly to touch the very edge of the metal on the point, but a sharp blast of shotgun shells hit his hand and drained his health dangerously low.

"I wouldn't try that" Noah said form up above "if I were you."

"You!?" Duncan shouted. "Zeke, Tyler, get some ground and get him!"

"You got it" Tyler said. He sprinted past the gatling fire, soaking no bullets, while Zeke threw his toolbox away to stop the bullets and got hit only twice. Now there were behind the cover of the little shack and shooting at the point...but Noah wasn't there. Instead it was a flour sack with a sloppy wig and two buttons made to resemble Noah's huge head. Under that was a proximity-triggered shotgun trap that was built directly on the point.

"He ain't there!" Zeke shouted. "It's just some contraption, eh!"

"So that's it" Duncan growled. He slammed his mortar down and aimed with low power so his grenade would just lob itself up and destroy the structure. "I'm getting a little annoyed with these machines of yours, man." He fired a grenade, and then a rocket blast was heard. Before the grenade could intercept Noah's machine a missile had intercepted the grenade. Noah's turret was on a special programming: interception. Any rocket or general explosive that was fired would be fired upon in response. However, since people don't explode, only the gatling guns would fire at anyone who rushed the base.

"That's awesome!" Owen shouted right behind Noah. In the confusion, he rushed back with his gatling gun on auto-fire and lodged in the dirt to defend the staircase with his huge frame.

"I hope Gwen's still holding Courtney off" Noah said.

"She is" Cody replied through the radio. "It's getting close, though. Courtney is using her shock-baton and Gwen's breathing really heavily."

"What about your turret" Noah asked.

"Geoff came back" Cody said "and started shooting at me from around the wooden corner. I can't build anything and I'm pinned."

"This is looking bad" Noah said. "How's the teleporter?" He heard a feint whooshing that answered his question.

"Justin just used it" Cody said.

"Now you have cover-fire" Noah said. "If Gwen wins her duel, get her sane and into the shed. Courtney will be back at full strength soon after that. If Courtney wins just kill her anyway. I don't want to risk any of us having to hold her off while Eva blows them up with her huge man-shoulders."

"Roger" Cody said. Noah sighed and disengaged his radio. He stood up and entered a short pin into his building remote.

"This is going to be a tough fight, big guy" Noah said. He pressed one last button and activated a strange, nearby beeping. "Let's move up to some higher ground."

* * *

Courtney was on the ground, holding out her only remaining weapon, her sniper rifle, to keep the insane berserk Gwen off of her. Gwen was hacking her gun bit by bit with her bone saw and scalpels while the frightened girl just held back for dear life and prayed.

"RAAAAAH!!!" Eva shouted with a charge. He explosive shoulders finally took down Gwen and saved Courtney. Now she was splattered with blood and felt an enormous chip grow on her shoulder.

"Of crud!" Cody nervously whimpered. "Eva got Gwen!"

"Take her down" Justin said. He aimed at Eva, now with his shirt freshly discarded and tied around his neck like a scarf to enhance his already amazing beauty. Eva is taken off guard for just a moment while Courtney begins dangerously entering a berserk state of her own. Just as she intakes the air to let out her own morale-obliterating roar, Eva dodged to the side and Courtney was destroyed by a rocket.

"""

"I really need to watch myself" Courtney said "when I get too angry. This is just a game. I was even outside the game long enough to screw it up for Chris and Hatchet. Nothing good will come of me running into the battlefield with a long-range gun equipped."

"""

Her berserk, however, wasn't completely gone. Most of it wafted around in the air like an invisible high and was sucked up by the bulky Eva. Her eyes went white with rage and she grabbed her huge gatling gun in only one hand, firing it on Justin and Cody with shaky accuracy. Still, her bullets were deadly, and killed both of them before they had a chance to react.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" Eva roared, pumping her gun over her head. She began sprinting hard for the control point, ignoring the obvious dangers all around, and made a tremendous jump up, landing square on the point while and destroying Noah's minor turret with her mighty legs. Noah's main turret found her and started firing on her. She ignored the damage and pain by shooting back, out performing the double-barreled gatling gun fire and worked on

"Nice job" Duncan praised. "Can we get a hand up here?" Eva reached down and yanked him up, powering their capture to a two-fold.

"Everyone who is alive" Noah called loudly over his radio, "retreat to our base. Get in the shed!" No questions were asked. Those that had recently respawned retreated into the shed and waited. "Owen" Noah said to the guy behind, "rush them. Even if you die, get as close as you can."

"You got it" Owen confirmed. He started running, no guns to slow him down, but was quickly dispatched by Eva's gun and blown to pieces by Duncan's grenade launcher. A small, round metal device slid towards them in the blood that used to be Owen, and Eva picked it up.

"What's this?" she asked, still growling and only half-sane.

"If I'm not mistaken" Duncan said in panic "That's the-"

"Activating 'Martyr' system!" Noah announced. He pressed a button, just a single button, and blew himself up. The landmine he kept attached on his belt was an instant kill, and the one Eva clutched dealt the final blow against her powerful life.

"""

"I've got to say" Eva began, "it took some kind of guts for Noah to do that. He took himself out and was prepared to take out his teammates just to gain a couple extra seconds on the clock. He's a damn good enemy."

"""

That wasn't it, however. Duncan felt the wood around the point begin to splinter and heard it creak, and just before the point capture was complete a series of loud and powerful explosions blew the metal point and Duncan sky-high. Duncan shouted as he flew through the air, barely alive, and looked over at the airborne point. "I've almost got it! Just one more second!!!" Duncan reached over as far as he could, even kicking his legs to swim through the air, and placed a finger softly on the point. Freefall resumed and Duncan found himself drifting slowly off the point. He swallowed his pride and pushed himself forward with a pelvic thrust, making harder contact with the point.

"_Capture! Red team!" _Hatchet announced. Duncan passed out and fell, the fall killing him and the broken point landing on its edge to bisect him across the gut. It was just gory and brutal enough to suit his demented style of awesome, and inbetween respawning he watched the footage over and over...

"""

"That" Duncan said excitedly "was wicked! I need to thank Noah for setting it up so I could get that kind of kick-ass footage!"

""

"Now what?" Tyler asked.

"We rush forward" Zeke said, attempting to take control.

"Oh, what?" Sadie began in a huff. "All of a sudden, this is a boys-only competition? I get a say in what we do too, y'know!"

"Sadie!!!" the other half of the incomplete brain cheered. Sadie looked over at her bestest best friend and dropped her gun so she could place her palms together lovingly.

"Katieeeeee!!!!!" The two ran together and made dolphin-squeaks, much to the chagrin of Tyler and Zeke. Tyler pointed to the tunnels aside to Zeke and Zeke nodded. They left the girls there to do whatever and prgressed their offense. "I missed you sooooo much! Everyone was, like, ordering me around with all this weird stuff. It was super-peer-pressure, I swear."

"I know" Katie said, "I saw! You kicked butt!"

"I would have kicked more" Sadie said "if you had been there!"

"Well let's go now!" Katie said, healing her friend and tossing her a crate of ammo. "Now that we're together, nothing can stop us from winning!"

"Yeaaaaaaahhhh!!!!" Sadie shouted.

"""

Courtney slapped her face with her palm and gave a deep growling sigh as she pulled her hand down on her face. "Why...are they on...my team...?"

"""

* * *

"Izzy" Heather said to the crazy girl beside her, "I think you should take on Harold next time."

"Why?" Izzy asked. "You've been getting closer to killing him. You just need a bit more practice."

"But what about revenge?" Heather said. "I mean, he totally killed you when you weren't ready last round, remember? I think you should make sure he doesn't forget just who's boss around here, by killing him in a duel again." Izzy leaned away from Heather, both girls standing on the point as guards until the rest of their team respawned, and began thinking.

"""

"Heather is" Izzy began "above most things, manipulative. I knew giving her this power would make her want more, yeah, that's how it works. But I've had it longer and I've learned to accept what I've got as what it is, nothing more, and so should she! So nuh-uh! No more Izzy V Harold in the near future! I'm sticking with my hard-learned skills of pyromania for the rest of this match."

"""

Izzy, in response, just shrugged with an uncaring expression and lowered her awesome mask. Her deadly flamethrower was out and on the 'Napalm' setting, one where the ground would burn continuously and hurt anyone close to or in it. The fire would stay longer on someone if they got hit with it directly, but the range utterly sucked and the ammo consumption was doubled. Heather saw that her efforts were in vain this time, but she hid her confident scowl with her ninja mask and watched the rest of her team come back out.

Behind the building that separated the base from the tunnels that led from the first area, Tyler and Zeke set up their own temporary base in the open, right between the larger exit tunnel of the mines and the small opening in the building.

"Stay tight, dude" Tyler said. "I'm gonna go behind those rocks and check things out."

"Recon, eh?" Zeke said. "Don't worry. I'll have a dispenser up when you get back." Tyler nodded and went sprinting away.

"""

"I think Zeke and I" Tyler began "have this kind of, I don't know, bond or something. Not like a bond you get with a chick, but a sort of brotherly one. Maybe it's because we were always underrated in the original season...but I doubt it!"

"""

"Hey dude!" Geoff shouted from across the field. Zeke looked up from his building and saw Geoff and Bridgette next to the gate that was elevated up to the level of the second story of the small building in the area. "What's up!?"

"Not much, eh!" Zeke answered. "I'm setting up shop here."

"Don't bother" Courtney said, making her entrance with a stomp behind him. Reflexively Zeke rolled away and took out his wrench. Tyler came running back with his hair a mess and his headband gone. A knife was stuck in the back of his head from Heather's impressive accuracy.

"Dudes!" Tyler began between long breaths, "Izzy's up there! With her flamethrower! Bad things happening...dude!" Courtney slammed him with her gun right into Zeke's dispenser and jump started his healing.

"Don't abuse the word dude around me" Courtney lowed. "Zeke, place a new exit up where Geoff and Bridgette are. It'll be safer than down here. Also, build your turret inside that building so the Blues can't come screw up our teleportation."

"You got it" Zeke said with a salute. He ran over to the place and Geoff gave him a hand up. Bridgette was looking around the corner to get a good view of the area she would be working with in tandem with Geoff, but when she came back around she knocked Geoff over the side and onto Zeke by accident. Invisibly, Heather peeked around the corner and then ran back to report to Noah, who was building his secret level 5 turret in the hidden corner overlooking the base, the rocks, the ramparts above and the tunnel built in the building itself.

"They're coming" Heather sang.

"Just in time" Noah said.

"Agreed" Justin said, heaving his rocket launcher up onto his bare shoulders. "'Justin Time' sounds like a good name for my talk show. Or maybe I should host a reality-game show with other models as contestants?"

"Calm down, Narcissus" Noah said. Justin scowled his handsome scowl at Noah for interrupting his thoughts, but Noah ignored him, as his constantly expanding turret took precedence over everything else.

"I'm here" Cody said. "Where should I set up?" Noah raised his pistol and fired a shot at a spot, the blind corner of the building tunnel that would sandwich anyone foolish enough between two streams of fire. The range would also cover anyone making their way in from the rocks behind or from the blind corner of the building's elevated foundation. Cody gave a salute and set up the turret. He then ran back while it assembled and grabbed more ammo for his maximum number. Gwen ran out with him and found Izzy, whom she started healing through the mesh-wire fence that bordered the left side of the point.

"Oh, hi Gwen!" Izzy greeted.

"We've got less than seven minutes" Noah said "to hold our position. No matter how hopeless it gets, and trust me, it will get very hopeless at points, never back down or run away. Even if you need ammo, just switch to a melee and find someone off-guard to smack. We need to waste all of their time if we want a shut-out victory."

"Easily done" heather said. She jumped up and pulled herself up to the ledge above which connected directly to the small engineer base Zeke had built. Over there, at Red Forward, Courtney was busy concocting her own plans of attack while her team teleported and ran in.

"I'm ready to move" Harold said.

"So move" Courtney said. "I'm trying to think."

"Out of plans?" Eva asked. "I thought that head was bottomless with schemes, not just...bottomless."

"I'm honestly trying" Courtney said, "but it's getting harder and harder to coordinate everyone around Noah's shut-out defense! He's got all our angles covered..."

"Except mine!" Harold said.

"And what's your angle?" Courtney asked.

"You'll see" Harold said, pulling up his own stylish ninja mask.

"""

"It's gonna be sweet" Harold said. "It's probably my best plan ever!"

"""

* * *

The attack began. Harold made his way around the Blue defense to hide behind the rocks and cloak suddenly. He saw Izzy spreading a wall of fire that stuck to the ground and made a mad dash, getting inside the wall just in time to nearly run into Noah and spin around his newest most terrible creation. The level 5 'Mondo' turret looked like an anti-air tank without treads. It sported four gatling barrels and six pods of missiles with what seemed to be short-range target-seeking capabilities. Harold gulped audibly and retreated as far back as he could, taking invisible refuge in the dry tumbleweed bush behind the sliding metal respawn door. That was his strategy: Camping...

"I'm gonna move" Owen said "in case they come in from somewhere else."

"Good thinking" Trent said. "Can you get past the firewall?"

"Oh don't worry" Izzy said casually. "It'll only hurt the enemies...and me. A little. He'll be fine!" Owen believed her, which in any other case would be greatly foolish, and walked through the firewall.

"Oh man" Owen said with a longing of hunger, "who's cooking steak?" Once through the wall he rushed over behind the rocks and took his position, watching the empty area where the Red team would eventually come storming through. He heard a light thud behind him, but ignored it and focused on his duty. Then he heard another, this one slightly closer, and then another. He turned around and looked around, but saw nothing. More thuds surrounded him. Owen knew what was happening about a second too late. He looked down and found himself surrounded by sticky mines. "Oh, HOSANA!!!" Owen shouted. A massive explosion shook the rocks and startled the Blues.

"Saw it coming" Noah shouted. Heather slipped him a few bills of cash in response.

"""

"I mean come on" Noah said. "The big, lovable, essential player goes off on his own? Why wouldn't he die?"

"""

"I'm in position" Courtney called to her team. She was kneeling on the overpass of shaky wood that arced over the main tunnel exits. She had the huge, monstrous turret in her sights through the building between it and her. More than one sheet of wood meant the bullets passing through would lose incredible momentum, so she predicted loading more than one clip into the thing until it was destroyed. "Duncan, can you move up to fire on the turret?"

"I wish I could" Duncan said. "I can only get a good shot if I'm behind the rocks. Besides that, he may still have those interception missiles on it, and I don't want to waste my ammo if it won't go anywhere."

"Eva" Courtney called, "you may do as you wish."

"Oh I will" Eva growled, clutching her fist and cracking her knuckles. Bridgette winced at the sickening sound and DJ gagged.

"""

"Eva's cool" DJ admitted. "I give her mad props for being brave and tough...but dude! It sounded so nasty! Like she was chewing apart a chicken with the bones still in it and...gaahhh..." DJ ducked his head away from the camera long enough to vomit in disgust.

"""

"I'm ready" DJ said, swallowing hard. "Just lead the way."

"Stay behind me" Eva commanded "and stick close. I can absorb most of the splash damage from whatever they throw."

"Why hasn't Harold reported in yet?" Bridgette asked.

"Maybe he's dead" Geoff said with a shrug.

"He could be undercover" Zeke said. "You know, in disguise, eh."

"Could be" Geoff said nodding. "That's our super-spy!"

"Alright!" Tyler shouted. "Let's DO IT!!!" He made a macho flex and began running with his gun above his head. Zeke followed him into the building and stopped where Tyler departed. Tyler dropped down to the second level and saw the wall of fire that crackled loudly and sickly. He could feel the heat from as far as he was, but it didn't stop him. He started firing blindly, and the shots came inside to hit Trent and the ground around him.

"Crap" Trent said. "I'm moving back."

"Something heavy is coming" Noah warned. He hid behind his turret with his wrench ready to quickly repair as the building started audibly shaking. Just before the shaking stopped a bullet whizzed through the wooden walls and made a scuff in the paint of Noah's turret. Minimal damage, but it was damage that made Noah visibly panic. "Never surrender!" Noah shouted. Eva came roaring around the corner of the exposed edge, turning invincible just as she came within the sights of the huge turret. Izzy switched her gun to long-stream mode and tried to keep her away with sheer force, but it failed. Eva jumped in the air and got blasted by five rockets and a spray of bullets. DJ followed her as she was pushed at alarming speed through the air, nearly disengaging his heal due to distance, but stayed with her as she was thrown outside the firewall.

"Damn!" Eva cursed. She started firing into the fire, shooting Cody who hid behind his turret and then destorying his turret while he ran away.

"Over here" Noah called, calling Cody in. he limped forward but several wood splintering blasts later a sniper's bullet took him down. Courtney grinned smugly and started firing rapidly at the broad uber-turret, denting and scratching the metal of its rocket pod. Noah started hammering at his creation while Trent shot the now mortal Eva in the face. She survived with DJ backing her and continued firing as she made her way for the rocks for cover. Both of them were barely alive and were panting hard.

"Nice try" Eva said. "We at least got something done."

"It was great" DJ said. "But how are we gonna take out that thing? I mean, did you see it!? It was huge!!!"

"I know" Eva said. "Just don't panic. That's what Noah wants us to do is lose sight of our goal. Once we take that out the capture will be easy."

"I got that" Geoff said over the radio. He and Bridgette accompanied by Sadie and Katie, came over around the ground of the building. Katie and Sadie climbed the stairs while Sadie went prone, just barely exposing herself to the turret, and fired. The rocket pods directed their aim at her rocket, and Geoff leaned out to fire past the firewall and hit the turret dead on. Both soldiers reloaded and waited for the heat to die down.

"Holy hell!" Izzy shouted. "I'm out of ammo! Quick! Someone toss me a box!" A rocket came from her dying wall of flames to nail her right on the head. She was being healed by Gwen, but her mask was shattered, revealing her indescribably pissed expression. Geoff froze up in fear and dropped his gun.

"""

"You know that feeling" Geoff began "when you think the roller-coaster isn't built quite right? Like, if you don't put your hands down, you'll get snagged out of the car and die from the whiplash? Or that the car won't stop where it's supposed to and rocket right off the track? Yeah. That's what staring down Izzy is like."

"""

* * *

Time seemed to stop for the moment where Izzy's glaring, pluming eyes of fire met Geoff's frightened little child eyes. Bridgette managed to pull him back and press him against her body, but the rigidity of Geoff's paralyzed frame caused them both to tumbled down. Up on the wooden deck, invisible stomping footsteps were heard. Sadie and Katie retreated to double-up Eva's position while Heather decloaked and made a leap up to drive her sword through both Geoff and Bridgette's heads.

"Two birds" Heather said, slicing a fatal blow into the lovers' skulls, "one blade." Heather cloaked and retreated, escaping Courtney's sniper shot with a stylish backflip.

"We've almost got it" Courtney said. "Tyler, Duncan, move up now!"

"You got it" Duncan said. He made a mad dash with his grenade launcher and fired randomly over the red-hot earth. His grenades landed and bounced close to Noah's turret but only got close enough for splash damage.

"I've got him" Trent said. He leaned out from behind the chain-link fence and fired a shot that hit Duncan's leg. He ignored the pain long enough to get behind the rocks and grab a full-heal medkit. Next Tyler came sprinting along. Trent aimed carefully and managed to take him out with a headshot. "Yes!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about" Leshawna declared. "We are kicking ass!"

"Less talk" Noah said, flinching as Courtney laid a battery of sniper shots into his turret, "more eradication."

"You got it" Leshawna said. She grabbed an ammo box on the ground and tossed it into Izzy. Izzy turned on her napalm mode and spread some flames out as far as she could get them to go. Heather peered around the covered corner of the elevated floor of the building and saw Zeke guarding his turret built in the hallway with a shotgun. Heather rose an invisible brow and contemplated easily killing him, but the constant fire from the faraway Courtney was raising other doubts. Instead of hitting Zeke as she passed she made a straight dash for the more pressing priority and raced up the ladder to attack the defenseless Courtney.

"HA!" Heather shouted, coming out of her cloak with her blade drawn. Courtney spun to the side and fired a shot that grazed Heather's neck, then she rolled away and off the structure while Heather stumbled to regain her footing. Courtney started strafing with her sniper rifle equipped and a mean smirk on her face. Heather drew out her knives with a hidden scowl and prepared to throw, but Sadie's distant rocket blast stunned her with pain while Courtney finished her off. With an arm-pump of victory, Courtney moved up to the position where Geoff and Bridgette were killed. Time kept ticking away for the Blue team, and Gwen's regular rationality came back to her with a flash of thought.

"Shouldn't Owen be alive by now?" she asked.

"Yeah" Trent said. Maybe the game is broken. The grenades don't seem to work anymore, after all." Noah was concentrating on keeping his turret active despite the unending barrage of sniper and rocket fire it received. Izzy used her concentrated air blasts to steer some rockets into the wall but the gatling gun fire and sniper bullets were too quick and dense for her.

"Come on" Izzy growled. "Rush up! You know you want to! Come up here and DIE!!!"

"I haven't seen Harold" Trent began "since the first half of the round. Where is he?" He and Gwen looked back and saw a bloody puddle just outside the metal sliding doors. Gwen squinted at it, making a wild assumption, and drew out her syringe gun while constantly healing Izzy. She started firing at the bush in the far corner, and something came out of it.

"He's back there!" Gwen called. "He's keeping our guys from respawning!!!"

"A camper?" Noah asked. "How'd they get there without us knowing?" Harold dodged and serpentine around the bullet fire while charging forward with his hand on his blade. Gwen made a split-second decision and stopped healing Izzy to catch Harold's blade with her own. Trent saw Courtney leaning out to continue firing and noticed that she was completely absorbed in taking down Noah's turret. She didn't see him. Trent was at conflict with himself.

"""

"This is a tough choice" Trent said. "I can either save my team at the risk of my girlfriend's life, and possibly my own life, or I can save both of us and jeopardize my team. Do I let my leader down...or my girl?"

"""

"Give up Gwen" Harold said, blocking her attacks and overpowering her defense. "I'm way better than you are and you know it."

"Maybe" Trent said, bringing his machete into the fight, "but two swords are always better than one!"

"Trent!" Gwen exclaimed. "What are you doing!?"

"Fighting the winning fight" Trent said. He and Gwen made their synchronized attacks, powering Harold's sword to the ground, and then killed him for vengeance of his unjustly killed teammates. Gwen smiled at her guy, and he smiled on back. Then a massive explosion and loud twisting of metal was heard as a rain of sticky grenades blew Noah's turret apart and the huge, Blue parts started to fall toward him.

"Well crap" Noah sighed. He sat down with a sigh and let himself get crushed to death.

"Oh no" Gwen said with dread. "We're gonna lose!"

"As long as we can hold them off" Trent said, "we'll sort of win."

"AAAAARGH!" Owen roared. "Alright, that is the last straw! It is ON now, baby!"

"Harold's already dead" Gwen noted. Owen calmed down and sulked.

"Really?" he asked.

"Let's go" Trent said. "We can still drain the clock." He ran forward, rolled into the open and got caught in the storm of fire that was Eva. The Red team advanced from up above, with Eva leading the assault and Sadie backing her up. Gwen went back to healing, this time concentrating on Owen, while Izzy blew back the rockets fired at her, directing them towards the medics. Katie died from Sadie's rocket fire, and Justin came out with his own rockets to shoot down DJ. Courtney shot him down quickly. From the wreckage of Noah's turret, Beth came up and shot down Courtney, but Eva killed her off as well. Geoff and Bridgette were back and firing at Owen, who turned invincible and started rampaging around with his gun on full fire.

* * *

All-around chaos and panic ensued. One straight minute of fire-fighting and random deaths was followed by a brief, uncomfortable silence. After that silence more fighting came, with the Blues making their respawns and dying just as quickly in the battle. The field was scorched with explosive craters and charred dirt. Finally, in the final two minutes, only a panting, war-torn Izzy and two distinctive Red fighters remained. Courtney ran out of ammo trying to shoot the wild girl and Duncan was on his last sliver of life from the fighting before hand. All the Blues were just recently dead. This was the final stand.

Courtney rushed in first with her electric machete equipped. She ran up the steps, ran onto the point, and swung at Izzy's head. She ducked down and made a spinning leg sweep that Courtney jumped over. Then Izzy rolled away and jumped back in with her ax, slamming It down on Courtney's handle and nearly chopping off her fingers. Duncan came up and got in a clean, stealthy stab with his switchblade, but Izzy gave him a stern kick to the jaw and killed him. Now she was on equal ground with Courtney, who continued swinging her blue-streaking saber at the manic fire girl. Courtney grabbed Duncan's discarded switchblade and used it to block one of Izzy's more powerful attacks. The blade shattered, leaving Izzy exposed with her weapn traveling in the direction of the swing, and Courtney gave her a zapping stab to the chest. Izzy was blown out of the ring and the capture started.

Courtney drew out her sniper rifle, using the scraps of Duncan's knife to get a single bullet in her gun, and glared at Izzy. Izzy raised herself up and saw the obvious loss in front of her. Courtney was aiming her down at near point-blank range. Without any recourse, Izzy fell to her feet while Geoff and Tyler came running in ready to help.

"Go ahead" Izzy offered. "This is the only kill I'll let you have on me!"

"I can settle for now" Courtney said, "but don't think I'll believe that..." A single shot ended the round.

Red team advances with seven minutes for the last map!

"""

"Uh" Noah grunted, "Wow. That was...wow. I kinda knew we wouldn't win in the end, not if Courtney was serious, but the fighting was ridiculous. This game is...way better than the technically real thing."

"""

"This game" Eva said "is just getting better and better all the time. It's way better than boring therapy. I can feel the years of pent-up rage just flooding out of me each time someone explodes from contact with my fists!"

"""

"That kinda sucked" Gwen said "but at the same time, it was really, really cool!"

"""

"Sorry" Chris now began "about all that quick editing. The producers said the match had to be tailored by about twelve minutes, so we skipped all the really good action. Neh-heh! I hope you guys don't mind!"

* * *

Now the match will move into the final game! The Blue and Red teams are getting beyond serious. Nothing but chaotic, mind-blowing action awaits during this climactic map-match of _Total Drama Team Fortress!_ Keep watching as the excitement reaches a **CRITICAL MASS!!!**


	44. Dustbowl 7

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"""

"Camping" Noah said, shaking his head. "I can't believe it. Sure, technically, it's a legitimate strategy, but it's so unorganized and, well, weak! However, I am the higher intellect present for this game. I shouldn't get mad over being out-done in a match. I'll just have to up my ante for this match. Prepare, viewers, for a shut-out victory...on this map."

"""

"Okay team" Noah began in the still closed new base, "we need to plan!"

The Blue team had been split apart into both of the proper exits at the very end of Dustbowl. There was a rocket poised to launch right above the capture point, which was the ultimate objective, and a wide bridge between the point and the main route. Two buildings, one just above ground and one with multiple stories, looked down a narrow alley where a staircase and short, narrow bridge extended into a wall. This stage of the huge map was ripe with corners, hiding places, buildings and blind spots. It's an ambusher's dream. On this map, a good offense can make a great defense. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on which team you happen to like, Noah knew that his team was severely lacking in the offense needed to prepare an ambush defense. Therefore, he would set up a stellar, impassible defense like he knew how.

"Here's the map" Noah said, activating the whiteboard map. The map showed up in the other room as well, with his voice coming in over the PA. "They have three doors to come from, one around a relatively blind corner. They have a short, open space and a narrow area where they have to funnel through to get to the first point. This elevated area is mostly enclosed and can host several turrets to stop an enemy advance."

"What about Duncan?" Cody asked from the other room.

"The area has a roof" Noah said. "We'll store all our best kill-hitters under that roof so Duncan isn't a threat."

"Courtney" Gwen said simply.

"We need to kill her quick" Noah said. "Those walls, to my knowledge, will only dampen her bullets, not stop them. She is a huge problem. Just keep your head clear of the open windows which Cody and I will build our turrets in anyway."

"Where can I go?" Izzy excitedly asked.

"Right here" Noah said, pointing to and highlighting the corner between the narrow exit door and the main exit doors of the Reds. "Stall them until you run out of ammo. Use that napalm right in front of their doors just before the match starts. It's cheap, but it'll work."

"Are we abandoning our honor already?" Heather asked. "Are we just going to sink down to their level and do these cheap, one-sided tactics? Nice." Heather winked at Noah and gave him a thumb up.

"We're not doing this" Noah explained "in retaliation to their cheapness. We're doing it to win. We have resources that they don't and power they can't emulate. Why shouldn't we use that?"

"So it's not cheating" Gwen said "it's just using our skills to our benefit."

"There are several paths" Noah continued "leading to the point area. I suggest we all take different ones to avoid becoming predictable to their forward troops, like Harold."

"I call the underground!" Izzy yelled.

"Of course you do" Noah said flatly. "Owen, for the sake of efficiency, you and Gwen should come with me to get you up there first. Cody, you follow me when you can. Trent, you'll stay in the roof-ledge with us so you can continue to snipe. Leshawna, cover the point and take some cover. Heather, this is important. I want you to stealth your way into their spawn area and counter-camp."

"""

"So" Heather began, "Noah's dark side is coming out into the light at last. His inner me is taking control and developing some truly sinister plots! I'm liking this game!"

"""

"_Set-up phase"_ Chris said, _"Start!"_

"You heard the devil" Gwen said. "Let's all move out!"

"Follow me!" Noah called. Everyone went his way, through the long curved corridor and out a small elevated door that led into the wide, open first point area. A building with a shoddy metal roof and low rafters with a concrete wall and slotted windows. The point was on a low elevated slab of concrete with various construction materials lying around. The path leading the the second point was within the full view of the open ground before the steps of the first point, making this section of the map more than ideal for an engineer storm.

Noah was already typing and plotting hastily as he ran for the stairs of the building. He pre-made two turrets with his metal, both level two so the double gatlings would fire through the windows and the rockets wouldn't impact on the surface above those windows. Cody built his own turret at the end of the wall, just next to the stairs, slightly back from the ledge so anyone passing through would get blasted and ripped apart. The rest of the troops took their positions. Izzy stealthily ran into the corner and prepared her gun to spray the dense, fiery napalm on the dry grass.

Gwen and Owen stood on the point. Lindsay and Beth waited around the blind corner in case someone miraculously got past the super-system of turrets and...Izzy. Heather joined Izzy invisibly, lying down in front of her with her recognition. Justin was inside the building with Noah at his request.

"Justin" Noah began "give me your gun."

"Ummm" Justin hummed. Noah snatched the gun away from him and started hammering it with his wrench. "Sure, why not?"

"What are you doing, Noah?" Cody asked.

"Using my MVP power" Noah said, wrenching something tight. "They won't be expecting this. Justin, you don't need a shirt, as long as you don't distract our teammates."

"Awesome" Justin said. His voice was smug like usual, but he turned his head and equipped a frown.

"""

"Something is wrong" Justin argued "with this game. It's making me...less...beautiful! I took my shirt off earlier and, I don't know, it didn't work! I just got decapitated by a PMS-fueled Courtney! Maybe she's just too suppressed, I don't know, but what about the others? I think I'm going to have to register a complaint somehow that Chris is keeping my perfect looks down a grade to give the other team an unfair advantage..."

"""

"Okay" Noah said, handing the bazooka back, "here you go." The normal tube shape of the rocket launcher had been heavily augmented with an eight-barrel pod at the front and an automatic magazine feed in the back. "It has an auto-reload and two modes: single for one of eight rockets at a time and burst for all eight rockets in the style of a totally random shotgun blast." Justin took the weapon back, finding it was heavier but oddly still balanced on his shoulder without too much sway either way.

"Excellent" Justin said. "Now I see why you're the leader."

"Position yourself" Noah began "at one of the windows and switch places occasionally. Oh, and thank you." Justin saluted and ran to the window, aiming at the chain-link doors with a startled look on his face.

"Um..." Justin hummed, "Courtney looks pretty mad down there."

"She's always like that" Noah said flatly.

* * *

"I think they're up to something" Geoff pointed out.

"Definitely" Tyler said. The entire Red team was lined up at the same two front doors, ignoring the side door when they saw Izzy ran past it initially. Courtney had abandoned proper procedural planning and was righteously pissed off. She wound up all her inner angst and berserk fury into a controlled ball that made even Eva an admirer. Duncan, however, kept his distance.

"""

"I ain't scared" Duncan said. "If anything I'm scared for her. Rushing in blindly won't do her any good, she's a long-range fighter. But, I'm not gonna tell her that anytime soon. I know that I tend to set her off without real warning more often than some of the other guys. They annoy her, be she expects something out of me since I'm her guy...and trust me, dude, you don't want to be near her when she's this pissed off. She's like a grenade built without a pin!"

"""

"Sadie and Katie" Eva began, "on my signal grab some wall and fire out from cover."

"Okay" Sadie cheerfully agreed.

"Alright" Katie agreed with somewhat less enthusiasm. Sadie looked at her with concern, but the blaring klaxon alarm soon shifted everyone's attention.

_Get ready, maggots!"_ Hatchet roared. _"This is your one-minute warning!"_ Under Chef's booming voice, the Red team heard the suave Chris making a similar announcement to the Blue team in the field.

"That's a long run" Eva lowed.

"We shouldn't worry about it" Harold began. "I've got some pretty wicked wall-running skills! I ran for four steps before I fell in the halls at school once. Then I stepped into and open locker and lost my awesome balance."

"There's bound to be turrets" Duncan said. "That damn roof above them is gonna cause us some problems."

"Alright" Tyler said ,pumping his legs to get excited. "I'm ready to run! Just count on me! I'll weave straight past the bullets and-" he tripped on his own feet, stepping on his foot as it rose of the ground. He fell over onto his unprepared toes and then hit the ground with his jaw. Zeke rushed over to help him up, catching Courtney's otherwise undivided attention.

"Zeke!" she shouted. Zeke stood up and saluted, dropping Tyler. "Build a turret here! And a dispenser!"

"Uh...right here?" Zeke asked, pointing to the ground.

"YES!" Courtney ordered. Zeke threw down the dispenser kit first and hit it as fast as he could to assemble it quickly. Zeke gave Tyler his pistol so Tyler's ranged power would double, a useful strategy that he discovered only recently. DJ was healing Eva, as was his regular position. Geoff and Bridgette were together, making lovey-dovey eyes at each other while holding back on the temptation to make out. Sadie was healed by a still barely fuming Katie. The Red team was ready for combat...but for fire?

"_Round Start!"_ Chris announced.

"BUUURRRRRRNNNN!!!!!" Izzy roared. She blasted hot flames at and into the entrance of the Red base, catching the overly ambitious Tyler on fire. He was dead before the turrets even locked onto him. Heather made a break for the other entrance, waiting in the shallow cranny looking down the hallway that led to the door.

"I've got this" Duncan said. He made for the other door. Sensing something unsettling in the air, Harold cloaked and followed.

"""

"I get beat up a lot" Harold admitted. "Especially by guys who are bigger and stronger and more good-looking than me. I don't mind it anymore. They're just jealous of my myriad mad skills. However, because of the constant assaults and harassment, I've gained mad awareness with my environment. I know when things are going to happen around me. Some call it clairvoyance."

"""

Harold's instincts, whether truly honed and trained or just lucky, were right! Duncan fired a grenade at the thin corner of the doorway and it bounced into Izzy's raging firewall. The grenade exploded upon hitting the intense heat. The splash damage cause Izzy some minor anguish, just enough for her to growl in that general direction with fanged teeth. She reached into her dark, stitched tunic and pulled out yet another of her endless masks which she put on and glared out of.

"Looks like Duncan" Noah began "is getting desperate. I hope Heather is in place." Heather watched him futiley fire around the corner and waited wisely until he had to reload so none of the grenades would hit her. He unloaded his empty gun and Heather ran forward in a flash. Her cloak dissolved just as her sword was drawn out, and in a moment of sluggish time, Heather made a wide swing through the wall for Duncan's head.

"""

"Dude" Duncan began, "that was all kinds of creepy. Seeing Heather that close out of nowhere like that! Ugh...I might have nightmares!"

"""

Heather missed, just barely, so she chased him with her sword swinging. After a short run and several deep wounds, Heather managed to get a good stab in at Duncan's chest, killing him and leaving the Red's flank totally exposed.

"I'm going in now" Heather said smugly. "Don't be surprised if their next push is weak." Heather clicked off her earpiece just in time to block the invisible strike of Harold's sword. She hopped back as Harold pushed forward and pressed into her guard with his sword.

"Hello again" Harold lowed as he became slowly visible. "I see you're still as fashionable as before."

"Get bent, fish-eyes!" Heather shouted. A maniac sword-fight began, both super-spies swinging and dodging with their insanely thin and flexible bodies. Each vertical swing was avoided with a pull of push of Harold's gut, while Heather nearly split at the high attacks and jumped with her toes at the low ones. It was a fight between two total experts of the sword, although Harold was the only one with the proper badge in swordplay.

"""

"Wow" Heather scoffed. "Talk about an anti-climactic mission. I only killed one guy before Harold got in my way!"

"""

* * *

Courtney ignored the heat and the action just off screen to concentrate on aiming. Through the normal scope she could only see flames. In the heat vision it was nearly white with the fire. Her X-Ray saw the fire as an air-warping mist which distorted her ranged vision. The only thing she had to use to aim with were her sniper instincts, and so far they weren't working well. Bullets whizzed into the concrete and came out far away from any of the defending Blue soldiers.

"Izzy's going to run out soon" Justin observed. "This is working way too well! We need to keep that firewall up!"

"I'm surprised" Noah said "that Eva hasn't come barreling through it yet. Heather must be doing better than we anticipated."

"She's probably just waiting" Cody said "for her three-consecutive ubercharge...charge."

"Even with that" Noah said "she'd get pushed back by the turret and rocket fire and wouldn't gain any ground. The best she could do is finish off Izzy, and then the turrets would pin her to a wall and the fire would fry her. They've got nearly nowhere to go." An explosion hit the wall and shook the concrete of the building. Sadie and Katie were standing barely a foot away from the flames, soaked with the hot sweat from the fire, firing rockets past the barrier of fire to distract the Blue defense.

"They're pretty spunky" Justin pointed out. "Mind if I go down and try to...steer them away?"

"Courtney is still alive" Noah said. "She's become immune to your...perfect looks, and she'd get pretty mad if she found out her teammates were getting seduced."

"Right" Justin agreed. "Better to stay up here."

"""

"Admitting" Noah began "that Justin was perfect, while true by popular vote, left me with an unsavory feeling under my tongue."

"""

The Red team finally began moving up. Eva and DJ activated their charge and ran through the flames, getting the attention of both forward turrets at once and thereby absorbing all of the pushing power the bullets had. Courtney ran out from the left door with Bridgette lending her an ubercharge and ran up to plant her back into the wall. Even through the roaring flames, Izzy's crazy head was plainly visible and Courtney took a perfect headshot to down Izzy.

"""

"I love this mask!!!" Izzy shouted with her Jason mask on. "Not only is it fashionable for the inner psycho in all of us, Noah tweaked it outside the game and reinforced it with something called 'graphene' fiber. It's tougher than diamond and totally prevents all instant-death headshots! Isn't that WICKED!?"

"""

For now Izzy played dead and waited, as her health was now at 1. Just one.

"Oh, crap" Noah said. "Courtney got through while Eva distracted the turrets."

"I've got her" Justin said. He aimed his rocket super-cannon at the flickering Eva and delivered a rocket to kill her. Combined with the turrets she was blown to bits and DJ was thrown against the rear wall of his base in a daze just as Heather and Harold made their way through. Seeing the extra kill in sight, Heather kicked Harold away and decapitated DJ. Harold leaped back and the block-strike action began again. It was a deadlock between the two assassins.

"Heads down" Noah warned. "Courtney's at point-blank range!"

"Stay alert, Bridgette" Courtney warned. "We've wasted enough time here. Once those flames die down we're rushing the hell out of that point!"

"Just the two of us?" Bridgette asked. Suddenly that very song came into her mind with a montage of images of her and Geoff in the battlefield, as well as some of their off-field action. Courtney was gravely serious about her intentions and edged herself to the corner of the building, exposing her back to Justin who leaned out the window with the 'burst' mode of his launcher on.

"Prepare" Justin lowed "for a beautiful display of power!" Bridgette snapped out of her shock just long enough to notice the chiseled man-candy that was Justin above her, holding an inhumanly evil looking rocket launcher aimed at Courtney. Bridgette made a swift decision as Geoff watched from the corner with Sadie and Katie. The flames were just now dying down, finally, and the soldiers had a clear view of their battlefield.

"Courtney!" Bridgette shouted. Her call was useless, as Courtney was absolutely inattentive to anything other than her own planning world. Bridgette took action into her own hands, aimed her rockets at Courtney, and detonated the ground just beneath her feet. Courtney was thrown into the wall that bordered the narrow path leading to the point. Courtney gathered all her amazing stamina and kicked off the wall and rolled into the foundation of the building where the turrets were, narrowly avoiding the scope of Cody's turret.

"What was that for!?" Courtney asked. One gigantic, sound-system rumbling explosion later, her answer became clear. Geoff's face was twisting in pain as he watched his girlfriend fly in a red mist all over the battlefield, and the perfect maw of Justin twisted into a perfectly evil smile.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!" Geoff shouted. He began running out to reclaim his beloved but the biting sting of turret fire stopped him and forced him back to the base where Katie began healing him. "BRIIIIIIIDGE!!!!!"

"""

"I could have saved her! "Geoff exclaimed, then sobbed. "Darn your amazing;y handsome face, Justin! DARN YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!"

"""

* * *

"_Attention contestants!"_ Chris announced. _"There are two minutes remaining! I repeat, dos!"_

"What!?" Courtney exclaimed. "It took us five whole minutes to get out of our base! THAT'S IT! You're all dead up there, you hear me! ALL OF YOU!!!!!"

"Trent" Noah said, "shut her up."

"Will do" Trent said. Duncan was gone, meaning the open-sky ground was clear. Trent began moving for the stairs to engage in a close-range sniper fight. He planned to at least move her into Cody's turret's range long enough for some rockets to launch which would either injure and distract her long enough for him to kill her or kill her outright. Either option seemed good.

"Yo!" Leshawna called. "You got backup!"

"Sweet" Trent called as well. "Flush her out!" Leshawna began firing half-blind shots at Courtney's position. The grenades hit the ground and exploded near her, causing her to clinch with shock damage. One came dangerously close and she batted it away with the butt of her sniper. The enemy implement was caught in Cody's sights and the turrets revved up with a beep to confirm it. The meter-long stretch seemed like an impossible mile to Courtney. Suddenly, loud hollow metal came ringing into the open field. Harold and Heather were still going at it, both showing visible signs of damage with cuts and locks of hair gone.

"""

"I will not" Heather said sternly "lose to Harold easily. He talks constantly about these unimportant, non-existent skills that he can lord over anyone, anytime. I'm going to show him just how bad he is, and not bad the way he uses it! No one is better at back-stabbing than me!"

"""

"You can't fight forever" Harold said, swinging his sword to block her swift attacks. They sped past Cody's turret, which followed Harold right out of its field of vision, allowing Courtney to pop out of cover and into a prime position to take out Owen with a single headshot. She rolled with her back to the building's foundation right into Trent's gun, which blasted her head apart and killed her. Lindsay ran out from around the corner and tried to attack Harold, but the swift ninja was in his element too well and he flipped through the air onto the top of the mesh fence bordering the entire stage. He threw a short stream of knives, which Heather dodged, but Lindsay absorbed like some idiotic sponge.

Beth fired from afar at Harold, who simply jumped through the air, landed on the rocket and pirouetted off onto the ground. As he posed with his leg kicked up behind him and his fingers netted above his head, Heather lunged in from behind with a stab right through his heart.

"Gah!" Harold shouted in pain. "You ruined my sweet pose!" He died and Heather let him slide off her blade. Lindsay was thus far the only real casualty, as Izzy was still feigning death, waiting for the perfect moment.

"Now or never dude" Tyler said to Zeke. He rushed out from the same corner as Geoff and the Sadie/Katie team with his gun blazing. He managed to severely damage Cody's turret and tackled Heather off her feet before getting syringed by Gwen umpteen times. A sniper bullet from Trent entered the scene a hit-point late and formed a smoking hole right next to Gwen's feet.

"Whoops" Trent groaned. He ran over to be with his girl and apologize, but mostly his trip was romantically inclined. "Sorry about that. Are you alright?"

"Of course I am" Gwen said cheerfully. "I've been able to somehow avoid all the fighting up til now." A set of rockets exploded and dense sweater fur rained down in the slim alley, signaling Zeke's death. "Looks like we're in the clear for now." Gwen leaned in to kiss Trent, who leaned in to kiss her.

"Ah, romance" Noah monotonously began. "How splendid. If only it would blossom more often."

"Jealous?" Justin hinted.

"Not really" Noah answered affirmatively back. "Love is the great befaller of brilliant men. With that said I'm not saying Trent isn't smart, but people in power like me, people who command an unstoppable force of nature like all of us, can't be caught in the tricky webbing of love."

"I hear ya" Justin said. "I nearly fell in love with one of my modeling agents. If I committed to just her, it would have nearly destroyed my entire modeling career, limiting me to just my face and leaving the doors for my arms, knees, shoulders and twelve-pack permanently closed."

"""

"At last" Noah said hopefully, "we have found some kind of askew, common ground! He knows the power of command in the way that I have learned of it."

"""

"_Thirty seconds remaining!!!"_ Chris announced.

"Aright dudes" Geoff said, "enough standing around gawking! There's enough of us here to launch an assault! Now let's go! FOR LOOOOOVE!!!!"

"RAAAAWR!!!" Katie and Sadie roared. All three ran out, with Geoff firing the split second he saw Cody's turret, taking it out finally. Sadie jumped up and fired a random rocket into the building, hitting Justin's perfect abs and scorching his shirt off. Justin looked down in pain for a moment, then grinned and looked to the battle brewing.

"Heads up!" Gwen announced. She pulled away just as Trent was getting serious and left him kissing the air, but he snapped back and equipped his sub-machine gun just in time to fire on the advancing infantry. Heather threw knives but Geoff was too quick and the girls were too focused. Sadie and Katie went into ubercharge and killed Beth around the corner, then finished off Lindsay on the ground. They turned their attention to Heather with Geoff but failed to notice Justin standing at the precipice of the concrete edge with his shirt blowing in the hot, war-scarred wind.

"Hold out for a little bit longer!" Geoff said, rolling and leaning away from fire. "Eva should be coming back first!!!" And in truth, she had come back first, but no one counted on Izzy. No one predicted her to have just enough ammo left to set her aflame down near her own spawn point, kill her with her Uzi and then barricade her team's respawn with her body. No one planned on her being able to run so quickly with such a shining mouth of fanged teeth. No one could have seen her coming except Gwen, and she did. It was like watching the world in slow motion, Izzy brandishing her ax above her head with sharp daggers for teeth and a forked tongue hanging out of her mouth, running directly at Sadie and Katie who just now began to flicker.

The action stopped for a moment while Geoff reloaded and Justin whistled to make himself known.

"Wow!" Katie awed at the gorgeous pecs of Justin's amazing body. Sadie looked over and began awing as well, but managed to pull herself out of it just long enough to shake her friend's body.

"Snap out of it!" she shouted. "We need to fight!" Izzy made a jumping slash that decapitated Katie in an instant, her face frozen with total awe over Justin's perfectly chiseled frame. Then, as Sadie observed in horror, Izzy spun on her heel and chopped straight through her body. Geoff was the last alive and the last to die.

"Double teaming" Heather said, tightening her scarf/cape. "I think I like her now." Heather brandished her sword parallel to Izzy's ax. Izzy swung low, cleaving Geoff through the middle. Heather swung high, chopping off his head with her sword. Izzy ducked down to avoid Heather's sword and Heather kept her distance to avoid Izzy's ax.

A shut-out victory on map three as the clock struck zero just as Duncan and DJ took the field.

* * *

"_And there we have it!"_ Chris yelled. _"The Blue team has made their mark and stopped the Red team from a total victory! Now with two and a half maps and just over twenty minutes under their belt, the Red team must prevent the Blue team from getting any farther in less time to win Dustbowl!!!"_

"That was awesome!" Gwen cheered. Izzy had her ax dug into the ground and was growling strangely. "Izzy?" Gwen asked.

"Hey" Heather said, "are you okay?"

"**REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!!!!!!"** Izzy roared. She leaned back onto her toes and flexed her fingers and arms out, her head looking straight up at the sky and her back arched in an 80-degree bend. The screeching roar pierced through the game and hit Chris' ears in the real-world booth like two daggers. He threw the headphones off and cleaned out his ears with his fingers to see if he was bleeding.

"Hey!" Heather shouted. She smacked Izzy with the pommel of her sword, effectively snapping her twisted mentor out of her berserk. Izzy almost fell to the ground, stumbling and swinging her arms frantically, but managed to get back on her feet and rubbed the gaping gash in her head that was the burst bruise from Courtney's bullet. "You okay now?" heather asked sweetly.

"Wow!" Izzy said dizzily. "Good thing there's no team-damage, or I'd be dead! Thanks Hathur."

"Heather" she corrected.

"Harem...m..." Izzy mumbled. The pain and nausea from the rapid, bloodless movement finally caused her to fall to the ground, which caused exactly one damage and killed her post game.

"Nicely done, team" Noah said. "A round of beer for all of you...who are legal to drink."

"That excludes me" Gwen said. Duncan came walking up with his weapons stowed and his arms crossed, a grin of humble defeat on his face.

"Don't worry guys" Duncan said. "I've sneaked plenty of beer in the past. I'm sur I can do it again, so long as you tip the waiter."

"Come for you final words?" Gwen asked. "You did lose, after all."

"Yeah I did" Duncan modestly said. "Care to do the honors and put this whelp out of his misery?"

"With pleasure" Gwen said, drawing out her bone saw. "So what'll it be? Slow and painful, or painful and slow?"

"Oh, you cold blooded-" Duncan said jokingly, but got literally cut off as Gwen sawed his neck off. She placed her saw on her shoulder and smiled.

"Nice job, everyone" Justin said to the small group. "Now, if our fearless leader will help us plan for the offensive round?"

"Oh don't worry" Noah said. "I've got all kinds of plans for the next round. We'll be ready for them."

"I wish I felt bad" Heather said "about this victory. That was horrible!"

"Then why are you so excited?" Cody asked, for once being forward. It was a jovial victory for the Blues and a general sense of defeat for the Reds. They were disappointed, obviously, but Courtney was no longer the extremist berserk girl as before.

"""

"My anger got the best of me again" Courtney admitted. "That's the worst possible outcome of these battles. I get too heated up and then I do something stupid. This time will be different. Noah may have the superior defense required to hold us back so much, but we have the superior offense! This is the reason why I chose to let his team play defense first, so I could see his strategies and plan my way around them. Now I can use out stopping power and really put the hurt in his team!"

"""

"I feel kinda good" Harold said "about how the match went today. I probably could have done better, but whatever. Heather needs to learn some respect for the skills required to pose during fighting! Obviously Izzy didn't teach her that."

"""

"Things are getting tough" DJ said. "I really feel like the team is getting closer together through all this fighting. I guess that's the one good things that's coming out of this war, brotherly and sisterly bonds and whatnot."

"""

"I've figured out" Eva began "the secret to that hidden power I keep using. That 'berserk' state of mind. I'm gonna use it in the next match and see what kind of reactions I get. Depending on how they organize their plays based on mine, we may just win this game."

"""

"Getting hot in here" Justin said in a sing-song voice. "I mean me, of course. It's just getting easier and easier to use my amazing good looks to cause some strategic chaos on the field. I'm betting that in the next set of matches Noah is bound to cave under pressure. He's more of a sedentary, wait around while the team fights, kind of guy, not a forward guy like me. I'll be able to take this team under my wing in no time!"

"""

"I wonder if Tyler is still thinking of me" Lindsay said.

"""  
"I hope Lindsay hasn't forgotten me" Tyler admitted in a depressed slouch. "Man...talk about mood-killers...LINDSAY!!!"

"""

"All I can say" Gwen began "is that this game is finally starting to rock. I mean, I'm all for winning, but even when we lose we end up winning and gaining ground. Every loss only achieves at making you a better fighter, a quicker thinker. I should play more games when I'm done here. It'll definitely be a boost to my college life if I can think on my toes and plan for the long term like Noah has been doing."

"""

"This game" Cody optimistically began "is really coming along for me! I feel like I know all the ropes and the twists and turns it can take. I may not be quite as good as Noah or as aggressive as Courtney, but I've found a good place to be."

"""

"This game is all but over" Noah said. "After Dustbowl there's 2Fort, and if anyone in this or any other world can win a strategy-exclusive map like that, it's going to be me. Look forward to my weeping strategies for the rest of this map, viewers. You've just stepped into the shallow end of this pool of war. Prepare for a fifteen-foot dip into total destruction..."

"""

* * *

And there you have it! The Reds secure their foothold within just over twenty minutes of game time. Noah has his playbook all preped and ready before the first major round is even over! Can Courtney keep up with that, or better yet out-do him completely? Can Eva out-berserk Izzy? Can Gwen and Trent get more lip-locking airtime? Will there really be beer? Find out next time, a surprise intermission (less of a surprise now, I guess) on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	45. Lobby 9

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Welcome back" Chris happily began, broadcasting from the central control booth in the real world, "my loyal fans! Since this game is going to be so long, I decided to give our not-so-happy soldiers a break from the action for a while. The Red and Blue teams have retired to their respective bases to rest, eat, and strategize for the next onslaught of pain for your pleasure. We'll be joining them in a moment, bu right now, I'd like to address a serious problem."

Suddenly, sullen piano music began and the lights dimmed around Chris. Then a bright spotlight illuminated the straight-faced host as he began walking down the corridors of cryogenic bodies, all to the sad piano in the background.

"You see" he began, "trust is an essential part of the dramatic reality-combat-competition-television industry. I trust the cast to do their thing and bring in the most ratings that they can, and they trust me to make the game fair for them. It's all nice and easy, and in this series they shouldn't have any problem trusting me since I'm not even doing much to them. However, sometimes these sacred bonds of trust can break, and teams can dissolve under the ensuing fighting. Earlier, at some unknown time, one of my interns betrayed such sacred trust and altered the mechanics of the game so the environmental effects and grenade spawns would break and stop working in general. While we have not apprehended that one intern, the problem has been solved to a degree..."

The scene cuts to Chef, Judo-tossing the remainder of the young and frightened interns onto the Boat of Losers as it bobs in the water of a turbulent ocean. Once the last one was on he kicked the boat and an automatic pilot system sent them all out into the endless surf, confused and scared.

"Damn kids" Chef lowed. "Why can't they be content to get me coffee and clean the computer consoles? Why'd they have to hack the system? Sometimes I lose faith in this generation of teens..." Chef went on to shake his head slowly, then looked up and quivered his manly chin while trying to shed a tear, although his tough exterior made it difficult and after several seconds of failing to conjure up tears the camera cut back to Chris.

"...the pain will always be here" Chris said, finishing his previous monologue with a fist-pound to his chest. He cleared his throat, straightened his combat jacket and the lights came back on as he stood in the middle of an elegant, white office lobby with the signs reading _Valve Virtual Entertainment Division._ "Now that that's out of the way, let's see how all our campers and killers are doing in the world of _Total Drama Team Fortress!!!_"

* * *

Blue base. The dormitory complex was abuzz with movement. Izzy and Heather ran laps up and down the stairs to keep themselves fit and ready for action. Trent and Gwen finely cleaned their weapons together, spending their long-overdo quality time with each other. Owen was eating, which wasn't unusual at all, and Cody was coaching him in dietary information. Lindsay and Beth were trading make-up tips while Lindsay was making some final changes with Beth's hair. Noah was in his room planning intensely. Justin was in his room doing his own planning, and make-up. Leshawna was taking the initiative at Noah's request and watched the replays of the Red team's movements and planning on the huge-screen TV, noting their communication and technique.

"Hey" Gwen greeted as she sat next to Leshawna.

"Wassup girl?" Leshawna greeted back.

"Finding anything interesting?" Gwen asked.

"I don't know" Leshawna admitted. "They seem to be coordinating based on class most of the time, and I guess that's normal, but there are some times when all strategy just flies out the window."

"Well" Trent began, "Courtney's their leader. She tends to be pretty uptight about stuff in general. It wouldn't be like her to just let her team have a free reign of strategy while she went by her own plans."

"She's so uptight" Leshawna began "she could squeeze her legs and make diamond eggs." Gwen and Trent laughed at the joke, but all three were startled back into their jobs when a huge explosion shook the surround-sound system.

"Come on dude" Cody cheered. "Eat more smoothly." Owen was busy cramming a myriad of digital food into his mouth, hoping it would go down as smoothly as Cody seemed to want hm to. It wasn't working well.

"I still don't get it" Owen admitted with garbled words. "How do I eat it 'smoothly'?"

"Try drinking water" Cody said "and get it all washed down. That might work."

"And why am I doing this?" Owen asked.

"Metabolism" Cody explained. "If you get a lot of food in you at once and do something extraneous, like running or heavy combat, you're bound to get cramps or nausea. We can't have our prize heavy fighter puking on the battlefield, can we?" Owen smoothly swallowed a huge gulp of food and took a deep breath.

"It could help" Owen began. "My puke could be a super-destructive weapon, one that could stop Eva in her tracks, heh!"

"Maybe" Cody theorized. "Still, it wouldn't be combat-cautious to go fighting on a full or empty stomach. You need to eat more filling foods with low chemical and high vitamin counts, like protein. That way it'll all digest over a long period of time and you won't be hungry for hours."

"Nice!" Owen cheered. Cody handed him a ham, which Owen took a large bite out of, chewed thoroughly, and then swallowed it like it was water. Cody continued cheering and coaching him on while the rest of the base continued to be abuzz. Heather was panting heavily, heaving her breaths in tune with her long steps as she ran behind Izzy across the carpeted hallway ledge. Izzy was fine, despite the exorcise, and was even smiling brightly as she continued her wind sprinting.

"Come on, you pansy!" she shouted to Heather. "You can run harder than that!"

"No" heather shouted "I...can't!" Of course, she had to speak between her loud, dry breaths. Izzy ran down the steps and stepped off her previously beaten path to run at Owen.

"Think fast!" she shouted. She gave Owen a flying tackle at his face and kissed him, toppling him to the ground with a thud.

"Ooh!" Cody groaned. "Uh, just breath and calm your stomach, Owen. We don't need anything bad happening." Heather came over and started guzzling water from the faucet over the sink.

"UGH!" Heather groaned now with her breath caught and her mouth sufficiently whetted down. "Finally! I can't take anymore of this crap!"

"I think the game is almost over" Cody said.

"Not that" Heather said, standing over Cody. "This training. Why do I have to train so hard to keep up with Harold!? He's...Harold!"

"Not just him" Izzy said. Owen stood up with Izzy sitting on his head like a throne. "You're job is going to get a lot more inclusive. Now that we're taking the offensive side, you're going to have to do what Harold couldn't and rip their defense apart from the inside!"

"So what's the point" Heather began "of tiring me out before the next match starts? At this rate I'll be way to tired, and sweaty, to do the work you want me to do. I can't even pick up my sword anymore, my arms are actually numb!"

"Suck it up!" Izzy ordered.

"You just need some food" Owen said. "If you eat a little and keep hydrated, you'll be fine." Izzy kicked him in the thick of his neck.

"Horses don't talk" Izzy said. "Now mush! HYAH! Giddy-up!" The doting Owen followed Izzy's commanding shouts and started running while she kept balanced on his head. Their relationship seemed to be the strangest in the room by far.

"I'm going to check on Noah" Cody said "and see if he's ready for the mission briefing." Cody left the kitchen nook and went up the stairs, pressing himself into the corner of the wall as Owen made a pass on the floor with Izzy guiding him from above. He walked up the stairs to Noah's room and knocked on the door, waiting politely for a reply. He looked behind him and saw Owen struggle to get up the other stairs, feeling confident that he had enough time to either get inside or get out of the way.

"Hello?" Cody asked, knocking politely once more. Nothing came from the door, so he looked back and saw everyone going about their business once more. Now Leshawna was coming up the steps with her head full of thoughts and a finger to her temple.

"Is the brain man in there?" she asked. "I've got my report ready."

"I think he's in here" Cody said. "Although, he doesn't seem to be, so he must be in his bathroom."

"Probably reverse-engineering the toilet" Leshawna said with a grin.

"GANG WAY!" Owen shouted. He was running full speed with his arms forward, while Izzy covered his eyes with her hands and wrapped her legs around his neck.

"If you can run without your eyes" Izzy said "you can run on feeling alone!"

"All I can feel" Owen began "is your pants against my neck! What fabric is that, sandpaper?" Leshawna and Cody began running as fast as they could, which meant that the nonathletic Cody was taken down and trampled by Owen. He was dealt minor damage. Leshawna jumped away just as Owen tripped and fell down the rest of the steps. Izzy flipped off of his head and landed next to Heather while Owen started rolling and bouncing towards the sitting area where Gwen and Trent were. "Hey guys!" he shouted in greeting. Trent took Gwen and tried to make a dive, but noticed Owen was heading dangerously close to the TV.

"Get to safety" Trent said shoving her away.

"No, Trent!" Gwen called. "You'll die!"

"It's a sacrifice" Trent began "I have to make!" He stood in Owen's way with his arms outstretched, in an attempt to catch the rolling destruction that was Owen. He bravely stood firm, as everyone in the dorm leaned in with anticipation to watch. After a final bounce and Owen waving his arms in the air to try and balance himself out, there was a crash and a squish. Trent was dealt major wounds, but the TV was safe. Owen rolled off and looked down at the crumpled, broken mess that was Trent and took on a face of dread.

"Oh, Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!" Owen shouted. "I...I killed him!"

"Out of the way" Gwen shouted, throwing Owen into the wall with some berserk strength fueled by love. "I'm sure we can fix him, right? This is a virtual world, after all."

"Then take the drama out of your voice" Heather said "and act normal. It's just a game." Izzy spontaneously grabbed Heather by the short of her hair and slammed her face into the metal of the kitchen sink. She was hurt and her health was nearly halved. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" She shouted, slapping Izzy away.

"It's just a game" Izzy said. "Relaaaax." Izzy circled around to Heather's back and began massaging her shoulders. "Relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax. Let all of you anxieties melt into the tiles and become grout. You are like gelatin, very soft and gelatinous. Relaaaaax." Her hypnotic tone was relaxing Heather's mind but somehow she couldn't stay relaxed with the psycho-queen directly behind her...

Justin emerged just long enough to grace the cameras with his presence and took in the chaotic scene. He was unimpressed at Gwen reviving and CPRing Trent, confused at Izzy chopping at a shaking heather's back while Cody and Leshawna watched with horror-movie anticipation, amused at Owen's body which was lodged high into the wall complete with cracks coming from the edges of the hole and somewhat expectant of Beth and Lindsay ignoring the chaos by helping each other apply make-up. Then he ducked back just as something else happened that made several people scream, though in his room everyone sounded nearly the same.

"So" Justin began, leaning into his mirror's reflection, "Noah, just how do good leaders stay ahead of their enemies? I've got to know." His sly and snide tone gave way to an interesting sight. He pressed a button on his dresser and his mirror turned into a screen, a screen where Noah and Courtney were both seen discussing and debating in some random cave outside the current game area. What was going on...?

* * *

Red base. Their space-age style still held its novelty, as the soldiers were all seen floating through the air relaxing. Geoff and Bridgette were churning everyone's stomachs with their constant display of affection, Ezekiel was doing the same with his nose-picking, Tyler was swooning over a swimsuit-model-shoot photo of Lindsay and DJ was crocheting a cover for the handle of his gun so the sweat wouldn't make the metal slippery. Inside the training area, Eva was practicing her short-range shoulder charges, Duncan was lobbing grenades off walls to get used to the trajectories in a battle situation and Harold was killing off several simulated Heaters and guarding against several more simulated berserk Izzy's. Most of the MVPs were focused more steadily on their progress as fighters rather than of lovers, and Duncan was there because Courtney had once again gone missing somewhere in the base. Sadie and Katie were in the room they shared, and Katie was displeased. Sadie seemed oblivious and was chattering on and on while her best friend stood with her back to her on her side of the room.

"And then that rush at the end" Sadie continued, "soo scary. I mean, I almost passed out. Almost. It was like that time when Ricky Cardigan asked me out to the dance. I was so flattered that I nearly died! Remember? You were there! Wasn't that rad?"

"Super" Katie answered sternly. Sadie finally detected that hint of anger in her bestest friend's voice and got up to examine her.

"Katie?" Sadie asked. "Are you...mad at me?" Katie couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Do you know" Katie began "how badly you've been screwing up!?" Sadie gasped deeply at her friend's accusation as Katie went on. "We're supposed to be fighting a war, but every time we round a corner where Justin is standing with his shirt off, you melt and become completely useless!"

"Well what about you!?" Sadie demanded. "I see that look in your eyes when you see him! You're no better than me, so quit acting like it!"

"I'm not the one with the gun!" Katie shouted. "You should be blasting him on sight while I heal you!"

"Well" Sadie began anew, turning away with a more calm and serious demeanor, "maybe you aren't healing me well enough."

"How could I heal you better!?" Katie exclaimed. "I'm not an MVP, super-medic like Gwen is!"

"Of course not" Sadie said, keeping her seething cool intact. "Even she can dress better than you."

"But" Katie began confusedly, "we're wearing the same thing..."

"That's it!" Sadie shouted. She tackled Katie right out of the room and into the zero-gravity lounge area. They tumbled and tussled through the air, bouncing from wall to wall and off the ceiling while engaged in a totally random catfight.

"That reminds me" Geoff began, breaking away from Bridgette in an odd display of self-control. "Where's Courtney? She's usually chewing out...someone at this point after we lose."

"I know" Bridgette agreed. "I was half-expecting an hour long lecture about how much we all suck after that match."

"We didn't do so bad" Zeke said.

"Yeah" Tyler said "because we were on offense, and we're an offensive team. When we need to be on defense while they're on offense, I don't think we'll do that good."

"But they're defense" Zeke said, kicking off the ceiling and floating down past Tyler. "They shouldn't be too bad to fight, eh?"

"Well" Tyler began, "that depends on how frantic Izzy gets." A deathly chill ran through the room. DJ bit on his lower lip with fear at the thought of that crazy girl being even more crazy than normal. It made him want to cry. Meanwhile, Harold was sheathing his sword in victory over the twenty-fold Izzy rampage he had just won.

"I've done it!" Harold exclaimed. "I've mastered the art of the back-slice!"

"Nice job" Eva said. She was holding a simulated Owen, with realistic weight distribution, on her shoulders and threw him through a wall. "I've mastered my inner anger, and I did it without any scented candles, relaxation tapes or mantras." Eva then turned to the ceiling to shout to the skies "TAKE THAT HOWARD, you pansy therapist!!!"

"Good on ya" Duncan said, firing a long-range mortar. He had his enemies programmed to run in random patterns so he could strategize on the fly, but so far he was shooting like he was chasing them with his grenades, and the explosions always ended up behind their intended targets. "I still can't get this right. I'm gonna go look for Courtney and convince her that she needs some practice too."

"You sure that's wise?" Harold asked. "Telling a girl like Courtney she's not perfect could be...lethal."

"You're tolerable, Duncan" Eva said. "That's better than I can say for most of these runts. Don't throw your life away when we can just stage a calm, controlled intervention while restraining her to a table."

"And you're afraid of her because...?" Duncan said, chiding Eva into a nervous shifty position. Sadie and Katie came crashing through the doors, still in mid-fight, then readjusted to the gravity and stood up to engage a rapid slapping match.

"Now what!?" Eva growled. Duncan moved around the girls as they grunted and growled at each other, then floated down to the lower level, using Geoff's back as a surface of trajectory readjustment. Everything seemed normal and all the sterile white was still painted onto the floors and walls, but something seemed odd about the lounge right now. Duncan rubbed his chin and looked at the central column of winding wires and thick steel cables, but then shrugged and assumed the oddity was coming from the air of general madness that was his team.

"We'd better win this crap" Duncan lowed.

* * *

"""

"I get the feeling" Justin said "that Noah is slipping. Maybe his game isn't as on as we all once thought..."

"""

"I'm so psyched to be on offense!" Izzy exclaimed. "I mean, most of the time I tend to be psyched, like a psychotic reflex-NO! No, not psychotic...some kind of lunatic complex! You know lunatic refers to people who go crazy under a full moon? I do that sometimes! Like when I see a full moon I start howling at it like a wolf and once, when I was little, I summoned a pack of wolf comrades and we raided a nearby deli. I can still do the howl. Listen!" The footage paused before she got the chance.

"""

Chris was sitting behind an array of screens, flipping from confessional to confessional and watching them intently. He noticed the camera and sighed.

"Okay" Chris began "so I may have been a bit flexible about that trust stuff earlier. I know it was one of the contestants. Now I just need to watch the confessionals and figure out who had the soul so guilty that they had to pour it all out! I don't get paid enough for this, I tell ya."

"You don't!?" Hatchet roared. "What about all the times you put me in a dress? Huh? Who doesn't get paid enough for what!?"

"You looked good in those" Chris said in heated defense. "Let's not argue about this now. The point is, someone was able to hack into the game and screw around with all the efforts of our overworked interns who are now lost at sea. I had to read the manuels they left behind to re-install and update the programs with hack-blockers, so now the next match will be wildly disadvantaged."

"But in your favor!" Hatchet declared.

"Maybe" Chris said, "depending on the weather. Let's keep probing the our faithful fighter's good consciences for some juicy bits, shall we?" With the press of a button the static cleared and several feeds came on at once.

"""

"I'm so glad" Gwen began "that we have this downtime. At least now Trent can heal...but...I think he may be getting a little clingy. I mean, he's fantastic in his own ways, but I think I'm at that point where I start spotting all the bad points of my relationship...and there's a lot of them. Izzy and Owen are still together, so maybe I could ask them for some advice. Well, not Izzy obviously, but I feel like I need some help."

"""

"Katie" Sadie began "is such a big, stupid, fashion-blind mall-tamp!"

"""

"That overgrown warthog" Katie harshly began "that calls herself an 80s diva can got roll over in a ditch and explode for all I care! Or better yet, she's wearing stripes, why not send her to fashion jail!?" Katie looked down at her own shirt, then ripped it apart with her bare hands. Of course, she knew her bra was matching as well, so she took it off with one hand and shielded her breasts with the other. "She and I are through!!!"

"""

"Yeah" Duncan admitted, hesitantly becoming relaxed, "I still really dig Courtney. I mean, why not? I've been in and out of some kind of institution my whole life. I guess I've got a...power complex, and that woman knows how to take charge of power!"

"""

"I can't wait" Harold began "to showcase my new, super-wicked skills. Izzy's in for the scare of her life!...But first I'm gonna hem me up some wicked war-gear. I can't compete with her when she's got that awesome armor on...

"""

"Izzy and I" Owen began "are getting along better than ever! Heh-heh! It's kind of making me worried, you know, because she's sort of...hyper all the time and it wears me out trying to keep up with her, but it's worth it for that girl's sweet smile..." Owen batted his lashes and tilted his head to the side in admiration, unaware that a grinning shadow was creeping up behind him, just barely inside the shot. Of course it was Izzy, the screen switched before she made a full appearance.

"""

"Gwen's so awesome" Trent wooed. "I kind of get the feeling that she's starting to shy away from me. I know girls are complex, but does being a good boyfriend mean that she's going to start pushing away from me? And, what kind of boyfriend is she looking for? I need to know this sort of stuff or else I...no. I'm not gonna panic about this. Gwen's awesome and I totally trust her. If she starts getting uncomfortable I can just ask her what's wrong and she'll give me a perfectly straight answer. Right?"

"""

"So far" Noah began, with the camera watching his screen zooming in intently, "I've seen so many twists and warps in the frame of this game that it's become virtually indistinguishable from its original. Grenades, weather effects, upgrades of this caliber; someone has to stop it all and make the game fun again. Right now, whoever has the best MVPs is the winner, instead of the best strategies or general knowledge of game mechanics. It's all too confusing and convoluted. Hopefully I can do something about it. If not...then I may not get to walk away with victory."

"""

"Two things are going to happen" Courtney said cockily, the camera intently staring her down. "One, my team and I are going to win this game in its final stretch. Two, I'm going to make up for all the torture and hatred that I accumulated in my first contractual stay in this twisted network's series! All that pain, physical and mental, is going to be vindicated in one glorious fireball of POWER!!!! And aside from that, Chris, if you're watching..." and then she sweetly finished off "I'll see you in the fresh, new Hell I've dug for you! Bye!"

"""

* * *

Whoa. Let's all remember not to cross Courtney's path when it comes to cash. She sounded pretty serious. What about the rest of them? Will Justin successfully usurp the Blue team as the leader with this curious insider information, or will Heather beat him to the punch with her skills and strength? Will Sadie and Katie reconcile before the end of the game? Will Lindsay ever acknowledge Tyler in a positive light again? Do badgers plan things out when they dig, or do they just dig and dig? Find out, though not about badgers, everything when Dustbowl starts itself back up with some fresh new hell planned out for the soldiers next week on _Total.  
Drama.  
TEAM FORTRESS!!!_


	46. Dustbowl 8

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Red team, DEFENSE! Now the true test of skill will come. The offense heavy Red team must defend all six points of Dustbowl across its three maps against the super-defensive Blue team, but what new tricks await them in this battle? Now that Chris has gotten the original programs back up and running, who can say which way this match will go!!!

"Let's move team!" Courtney ordered. "We can't spare a single second! Zeke, set up a turret on the second point! Eva and DJ, move it to the first point! Duncan, trap them in with grenades! Everyone to the first point now! Now! NOW!"

"We're moving as fast as we can" Duncan said. "Unclench your ass for a second."

"Sorry" Courtney said as she ran with him. "I'm tense right now."

"You can hardly tell" Duncan joked. Courtney nudged him with her gun and continued running.

"""

"Am I autocratic?" Courtney asked. "Probably. Do I take pride in it? Well, each time I've taken total charge of the situation it's ended quite well for us. When I let my soldiers fend for themselves we lost out communication and lost the match prematurely. Does that tell you something about my leadership skills yet?"

"""

"Hey Chief!" Eva shouted. "We've got an internal conflict." Courtney skidded to a stop and looked back at her rushing team. Geoff and Bridgette were running happily together, DJ was healing Eva, but Sadie was running slowly after Zeke. Katie was nowhere to be found.

"Oh lord" Courtney said, resting her head into her hand. "What now?"

"Seems the clones got a lobotomy" Duncan said. "Now they're operating alone."

"When you see Katie" Courtney ordered as she began sulking on ahead, "get her with a medic."

"Aye aye" Duncan saluted. He ran after her to prepare his set up. "Actually, I haven't seen Harold yet either. Where did that nerd go now?" The truth was revealed as the cameras shifted inside the locker room. Katie had prepared her new garb, hardcore punk style with a gelled mohawk, black eye shadow, a beartrap-looking face mask, studded metal shoulder pads, studded metal knuckle gloves, studded metal kneepads, huge black combat boots; she barely looked like herself anymore. She looked bad-ass. She ran out of the base with her new garb clanking heavily and ran for the point. The door didn't close for several seconds after she left. Someone invisible had left to move himself into position.

Zeke saw the new Katie pass by and gawked at her, dropping his wrench in sheer astonishment as he built his turret just behind the large wooden silo like last game. At the first base the preparations were being set up at a breakneck speed. Duncan had covered each door the Blues could use with sticky grenades and waited, not seeing a single Blue for the length of time they were setting up. Courtney couldn't see through the gates before the match started, and she had tried, so she went to her position on top of the shoddy wooden balcony of the first point shack. Eva was watching over the first point with DJ providing a constant stream of healing. Tyler was scanning the area for the Blues, not finding them even in the widest areas where he could see from wall to wall.

"They're gone" Tyler reported.

"How?" Courtney asked. "Is this some new, weird twist Chris is pulling?"

"They've got to be in there" Duncan said. "They're just trying to psych us out. We can't fall for it."

"Got it" Eva said. "Let's ignore it and killed them when we see them."

"That works" Geoff said. Katie came stomping into the room with her metal armor clanking, drawing some seriously strange glances from all around.

"""

"OH!" Geoff gasped. "I never thought I'd see the day that they split! Man! They were, like, inseparable for so long!!!"

"""

Geoff looked away, Bridgette covered her gasping mouth, Courtney got one look and neutrally retreated to continue scouting from her previous position, and of course Sadie shunned her with a scoff and a quick turn of her head. Eva was the only one with a look of approval, nodding her head with a serious glare.

"""

"It's about time" Eva began "someone on this team got serious about this battle! That girl's got some fierceness in her!"

"""

"Katie" Courtney said, finally giving in to her raging curiosity, "what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" Katie asked skeptically. Even her voice became harsh and derisive with her sharp, mean looking gear. Duncan walked in and nearly broke down laughing, then upon a closer inspection of her head became insulted and was able to stifle his laughs long enough to make a conclusive point.

"Hey now" Duncan began, "what's with the hair?"

"I like it" Eva said. Duncan's arm went limp and he retreated. Combating the views of multiple women would effectively drain him before the battle. "Nice armor design. Did you do all of that yourself?"

"Yeah" Katie said.

"Okay" Courtney began, "obviously there's some sort of conflict going on here, but that's okay. Sadie, and Bridgette, please switch partners so we can have the same balanced teams."

"Wait a sec" Eva said. "Bridgette, switch with DJ instead. He's no good in a fight, but you know well enough when to heal and when to shoot."

"I can't help it" DJ said defensively. "I wasn't raised as a fighter, I'm a carer. A nurturer."

"And I'm a warrior" Eva growled. "I don't need nurturing, I need BLOOD!" DJ ran up the slope and hid behind Geoff. Sadie began healing Geoff, DJ slowly went around and teamed with the serious, battle-ready Katie and Bridgette went behind the statue-esque Eva. The Red team defense was finally ready for action, with one exception.

"Has anyone seen Harold?" Courtney asked.

* * *

"This is going to be quick" Noah instructed "and simple."

"Couldn't we do this somewhere else?" Gwen asked. All eleven members of the Blue team had stuffed themselves inside the only blind corner of the tunnels where neither Duncan nor Tyler could see. It was all part of Noah's plan to psych Courtney's team out so that he could strategize without his plans being totally compromised.

"No" Noah answered simply. "We're all going out of the middle. Since the sticky mines Duncan planted are remote triggered individually, he's going to do a lot of damage to us regardless where or when we decide to exit. Therefore, it's crucial we get out MVPs with the most health out first. Owen, Izzy, Gwen and I will lead the charge through the tunnel door and the rest of you follow."

"That'll put us" Heather noted "pretty far away, you know."

"Yes" Noah said "I do know. It's all part of the greater scheme, Heather. You should know. You've acted out psychological warfare fairly often, haven't you?"

"""

"I refuse to testify" Heather said "on the grounds that I may incriminate myself. Gotta love the loop-holes, right?"

"""

"We've all got our orders" Noah said "so let's do this right the first time. Their already underestimating us because of our defensive supremacy. They;re in for a serious surprise when we roll over them like a steamroller and take this map with a...a..."

"Kung-Fu Grip!" Izzy shouted.

"Thank you" Noah said. He cocked his shotgun and made his way to the far-right exit. No one would see it coming, and the first one who would, which was Duncan, would react instinctively and blow up the first player to run through fruitlessly. Noah volunteered himself as the first martyr with Owen, Gwen and Izzy close behind him. Justin's rocket launcher still had its mad modifications, and now Lindsay started shuffling her feet in place with stylish new pink pumps on.

"""

"I've got to give a shout-out thanks" Lindsay began "to Nathaniel for these amazing new pumps. He said something about them being modified for super-sonic sprinting, and that I'm now faster than an average rocket-propelled grenade...I didn't get that, but they have a 5 inch lift and an authentic Italian leather strap, so you know it'll hold! I'm so excited to show them off!!!"

"""

"_Ten seconds!" _Chris announced.

"Here we go" Noah said, tensing himself up.

"All or nothing" Courtney growled, aiming down at the lower, middle entrance. Izzy lowered her awesome mask, Owen hit his headshot-proof helmet, Cody tapped his wrench in his hand, Eva gripped the handle of her gun and growled, Geoff squinted then cheerfully waved to Bridgette, she waved back, and Harold...still invisible and unseen.

"_Dustbowl!"_ Hatchet announced, _"Round 2! Blue team offensive, START!!!"_ All the gates flew open, and Duncan switched his aim from the far right to the middle to the far left where he saw the first movement. Owen was in the doorway and glaring ahead.

"Flank left!" Duncan reported as he detonated his cache of grenades on that door frame. Owen was alive, barely, and the explosive force carried him all the way into the gorge where Courtney finished him with a swift shot to the gut. She half-expected the bullet to ricochet or bounce off in some random direction, but it didn't and she aimed back at the shack. All the Blues were pouring out into the small room and one especially hot body ducked out with a huge, menacing rocket launcher.

"Oh crap!" Courtney shouted. "Justin's still got his super weapon!" Justin fired the cluster of rockets and let them fly randomly. Geoff and Katie had to duck in behind the windows while Courtney jumped right off the balcony and into a mine cart. She flipped out of it and tried to get a clean shot off someone but the splash damage from the rockets made her stagger in pain. Then a blast of wind and a streak of blond blazed past her. "What the hell?"

"That was Lindsay!" Tyler reported. "She's gotten super-fast somehow!"

"Zeke!" Courtney called over the radio, "handle it!" A sniper bullet scraped Courtney's neck and forced her back into the shack. The Red team defense was cornered by a relentless Blue-team rush. Now Duncan was in the frame of the front door, Courtney was crouched and waiting for a heal at the back door, Eva was anxiously standing in the corner with Bridgette behind her. Geoff and Sadie took the higher ground and made their way up to the suspended rail track. Geoff was so concentrated on his front and aiming down Justin who ran across the field, dodging Katie's rockets, that he forgot about his exposed side. The blue that was Lindsay came sprinting out with her scatter gun equipped and made a point-blank headshot on Geoff. He was within an inch of death, and while Sadie switched her guns to fire back Lindsay swapped for her pistol and killed Geoff before vanishing like a ghost.

"Hello?" Lindsay called to her team on her radio. "I killed Geoff...but now I'm lost."

"Stay put" Noah said "and await further orders." A sniper bullet scraped by Noah's face. He winced away and then turned sternly in the hole's direction. "Well at least Courtney isn't shaken. Izzy, go get some chaos stirred up. Beth, you cover Justin."

"Yes sir" they both said. Izzy made a clean break across the field while Beth fired on Katie, who was outside the shack and firing around the cover of the building's corner. She was forced back while DJ healed her.

"Bitch" Katie lowed. DJ gasped at her profanity with his fingers clenching his teeth.

"""

"Okay" DJ began, "I'm not psychiatrist when it comes to fashion, but just because you dress all tough and mean doesn't mean you can say and do whatever mean things you want! That girl's seriously tripping on that metal stuff, man."

"""

* * *

"Here she comes!" Izzy shouted as she made a beeline for the front door. Her announcement drew some worried glances from inside the shack. Courtney tried to get out to shoot but Justin's rockets were keeping her cornered. Beth came out as well and suppressed the fire from up top with her own bazooka. Justin safely advanced into the tunnels and found more ammo and health which he took to keep himself stocked up.

"Oh no!" Courtney shouted. "Izzy stole all our lines about her!"

"WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIEEE!!!!!" Katie bellowed.

"Okay" Courtney said, "there was that."

"RAAAAAWR!" Izzy roared. She was halfway there, just barely under the wooden extension of the shack's second story, when her danger senses blared a klaxon warning in her ears. She flipped away and shot out a stream of fire which split down the middle in mid-air. A cloud of dust kicked up with a thud in front of her and Izzy desperately blocked an attack with her flamethrower. "Harry?" she asked. The long katana of the super-spy stabbed into the gas canister of her gun and threw it to the side. With the slashing motion the explosion and fire that came from the destroyed weapon was sliced in half, leaving a rift of air in the fireball that kept him safe. Izzy flipped away once more, drawing her ax and Uzi, then got a good look at the new Harold's armor.

"Hello Izzy" Harold said. His new outfit was a combination between a samurai's kimono robe, black with gray pin stripes in a netting pattern, and a ninja's skin-tight black wraps. His hands were wrapped in athletic tape as well, right up to his fingers. His knives had been remade into four-star throwing shuriken and on his face was a devilish, Japanese-demon mask with red skin, a wide mouth and sharp, curled teeth. "So we meet again."

"Indeed we do" Izzy agreed. She charged forward and engaged Harold. She swung hard and drove him back, but his quick feet in malleable straw sandals allowed him much more agile movement. He came around to her side and continued attacking, this time pushing her back until their blades were locked on each other. Harold took his sword in one hand and drew it back while Izzy lurched down and prepared to attack in an upward motion. Their weapons hit and deflected off each other. Harold drew his sword back and threw it forward immediately while Izzy made her own counter and hit blades again.

In a rapid rhythm their blades clashed loudly and then hit over and over. It was a mad match of totally equal power which Heather took advantage of and joined the fight, crossing her blade with Harold's and pushing it away. Her and Izzy's eyes met and the automatically formed their strategy of attack. Izzy stayed back while Heather went forward and matched Harold's blade over and over. Izzy fired off a short burst of fire from her sub-machine gun, forcing Harold to retreat. Heather threw her knives and hit Harold while he was in the air. When he landed he threw his own projectiles and hit both girls with half the damage Heather dealt.

"He's gotten better" Heather said, gripping her sword in both hands and holding it near her head.

"Who cares?" Izzy asked. "We're still the best!"

"We are?" Heather asked.

"""

"What is this?" Heather asked, frightfully looking at her own shaking hand. "This weird feeling...this friendliness. I feel all mushy and emotional inside... It's too weird! Is this what having sincere friends is like?...Wow. It's been so long that I'm not even used to it..."

"""

"Keep it up girls" Noah instructed. "Gwen and Owen are coming through your way to take the point."

"Let's clean house" Leshawna said, cocking her gun. Using a specially built sight made by Noah, Leshawna was able to aim her grenades to go straight into the shack from clear across the field. She fired a short volley and the grenades clacked down to the floor. When one blew it sent the others scattering around, and the splash damage injured everyone who wasn't being healed by a medic at the time. Courtney, with the damage she had already accumulated, was near death.

"Finish him!" Izzy shouted to Heather. Heather stabbed at Harold, and he blocked down, but Heather's sword was already drawn up above her head. It was a fake! Her stab never carried through! Her mask and head-splitting attack, however, did.

"Ah, crud" Harold said as his head drifted off in two different directions.

"Excellent!" Izzy growled. Owen came stomping from the far-right exit just in time with Gwen close behind healing him.

"Oh he's toast" Duncan said. He leaned out to activate his grenades but was killed by a shot from Trent.

"Take that" Trent said "you...uh...yeah!" Now with the way clear and his grenades gone the rest of the Blue team went out from their cover and started fighting for the point. Noah led his small squadron ahead with his shotgun out and ready to blaze.

"Lindsay!" Noah called. "Can you get into your position?"

"I'm already there, coach!" she said. Lindsay was on the second point and ready to capture. Justin had taken the forward battle and destroyed Zeke with his super rockets, but he stayed away from the point in case someone else came running out to try and stop their plan..

"Great" Noah said. "Looks like it's all up to us!"

"Bring it on!" Eva shouted. She revved her gun and waited carefully. Izzy came spinning into the room with her flamethrower on full blast. She hit everything and everyone except Courtney, who rolled out of the room to avoid the fire but got caught in the frying pan of the charging Blue team. One shotgun blast and she was dead. DJ and Sadie died next, as Izzy's constant stream of fire coupled with her bullet-dodging acrobatics made it hard for Eva to hit her. Once Eva got mad and stomped out into the middle of the room to get a decent shot, Izzy was already gone and Heather decapitated Bridgette just before retreating.

"I don't think so!" Geoff announced. He came sprinting out, heading for his team's second point where Lindsay sat bobbing her head to the music she remembered. He was ready to kill. Unfortunately Justin was waiting at the bridge, kicking his legs, and chuncky bits of Geoff were thrown all over the battlefield. Lindsay noticed the beautiful boy and waved to him.

"Hiiii Justiiiiin!" she called. Justin waved back with a hunky, perfect smile.

"""

"Wow!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Did you see that? He waved at me! I knew these shoes were awesome!"

"""

* * *

Owen came stampeding into the room and shoulder-charged Eva, who grabbed him and tried to push him away. A desperate match of push-pull ensued and Gwen's ubercharge gave Owen the winning edge. Cody and Beth cleared the rest of the room while Owen pinned Eva and finished her off with a second-floor bellow-flop maneuver.

"One small step for man..." Noah said, stomping onto the point. He was joined by the rest of his team, Lindsay, Trent and Justin excluded, and the point was captured.

"One giant leap towards victory" Gwen cheered. The second captured began immediately.

"Sneaky bastard" Izzy complimented. "Who would have thought of that!?"

"Me" Noah answered. "This means we'll have nearly twelve straight minutes to capture their first point."

"Way more time than necessary, right?" Owen said.

"Nope" Noah said. "This is just going to make things harder."

"_Point captured!!!"_ Chris announced. _"Holy crap! That was quick! Looks like brains have totally beaten brawn here! The Blues advance with over ten minutes on the clock to map two! For the duration of the second capture, we at the control booth will be adding some essential ambiance to the battlefield..."_

"What does he mean?" Gwen asked nervously. A crack of thunder sounded, and in an instant a harsh rain of water started falling. The wood of the shed creaked as Noah looked outside. Not only was it raining but there was some nasty hail as well.

"Great" Noah said. "Rain. Wait, rain!?" Noah's voice had suddenly become seriously worried, a tribute his team hadn't seen in a long time.

"Yo dude" Cody said, "what's wrong?" Trent came running in, holding an arm over his head and panting.

"Since when" Trent began "has that been on?"

"This is totally unfair" Heather said. "They've been holding that stuff back just to make it hard for us!" Noah's eyes shifted slightly, but he shook his head and became nonchalant once more.

"It's okay, people" Noah said, calming the fires of uncertainty with his waving hands. Lindsay came skidding into the room on the heels of her 'Mercury Heel' pumps and listened in. "This is, if anything, a minor setback in our otherwise airtight plans. Courtney's team is most likely shaken up about their current utter devastation, as planned. All we need to is keep their morale low while at the same time staying on our crazy gravy train of success."

"Mmmmm" Owen hummed, "gravy train...Heh-heh! I think the excitement is going straight to my stomach!"

"""

"Un" Duncan began "dreaking believable! Did you see that? Do we suck that bad!? How hard is it to stop a team of freaks and weirdos led by a guy whose head takes up three-fourths of his body!?"

"""

"Well well" Courtney said with a smug grin and tilting head. "Looks like Noah's gotten some nasty little surprises for me, eh? Hmph. Well, if that's how he wants to play it then that's how it'll go. We'll show him a thing or two about superior strategy. By the time this match is over the walls will be painted in our color, Red, with their blood, of course."

"""

"I'm not going to lose again" Eva growled. "I can't! Too much is riding on this victory! 300 Grand, all for me. I can't let that oaf walk away with it! Not after all I've been through. NOT AFTER ALL MY THERAPY! **IT ISN'T HAPPENING!!!"**

"""

"That sucks" Bridgette said. "I can't believe Katie and Sadie split! They're supposed to be the closest buds on the entire show!"

"""

"Oh my god!" Sadie exclaimed. "Did you see her top? That was the most gaudy thing I've seen in my life, and trust me, she's worn plenty of disgusting stuff in the past without my approval. Like, this one tine-"

"""

* * *

Oops! Sorry Sadie, maybe some other time you can give Katie her just desserts. What an upset match! The Red team is should certainly be upset about this startling loss. But still, Courtney;s unwavering confidence makes it seem like she still has some unused tricks up her sleeve. What could she be planning? Can she really outdo Noah, whose plan won the match in barely a few minutes??? Can Eva control her anger and her fury long enough to defeat Owen in a one-on-one fight? Will Sadie or Katie ever make up? Is Justin planning his next move to usurp control from Noah with Lindsay? Are we ever going to run out of questions to ask!?!?!? Find out next time on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!_


	47. Dustbowl 9

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"Alright" Noah said as he tightened his last bolt on Justin's yet-again improved rocket launcher. Now it had a red laser sight which, when triggered as an alternate fire, could steer rockets to the end of the dot. "That'll do."

"Excellent" Justin said. "Thanks a lot, man."

"No problem" Noah said. "Just make sure you don't hit yourself with it,

kay?" Justin clicked his finger at Noah, knowing he was only joking to keep the mood light. Loud blasts of lightning occasionally shook the walls and drowned out all other sound. The lights occasionally flickered as well, lending more to the building dread of the offense-reoriented Blues.

"""

"Well" Gwen began "it was nice while it lasted. Now Chris is back screwing with the game, and at our most crucial moment too! Things couldn't easily get worse."

"""

Just outside the Blue exits the Red team moved in a militant rush, all of them carrying some kind of materials from around the stage and hammering them together somehow. Courtney stood on top of the shack where Zeke had built his level three turret with a wide-brimmed hat and a desert-camo trench coat on. Her collar billowed in the strong wind and flapped in front of her stern, commanding face.

"""

"Like it?" Courtney asked, pulling the brim of her hat down and turning her shoulder to the camera. "I found this in someone's locker before we headed out. I think it looks a lot better on me than it would have on them."

"""

"Is this okay, chief?" Duncan shouted over the rain. Courtney held up her hand and extended her thumb straight up. The team all moved back into their preset positions. Courtney sprinted across the field to take cover behind the corner of the wooden extension the point was built on above. Duncan ran behind the shack and pressed himself up against the wall to get himself into the rainless awning cover. Eva stood dead-center of the field with her gun revving and Katie healing her. Bridgette and Geoff were reunited and hid inside the wide-windowed room practicing the tongue-tango until the match started. Sadie and DJ were on the floor above them with Harold and Tyler, on frontal defense in case someone broke through the already difficult defense that was set up.

The Red team defense was armed and ready. The wood and metal pieces from across the map were built up as walls in front of the farthest-left door and the rock-covered entrance that was just barely within Zeke's turret range. The Blues could only come out from the middle door where Eva was guarding with glaring eyes. The perfect plan on paper, but in practice Courtney knew the boards wouldn't hold up to many rocket blasts, let alone one from Justin's monster of assisted creation.

"Come on out" Courtney said, turning on the light dampener on her sniper lens and placing a shade over the scope so rain didn't get on it. "We're waaaai-tiiiiing."

"Alright team" Noah said, looking back to his combat-anxious comrades with his pistol in his hand, "let's kick some Red ass until it turns blue!"

"YEAH!" his team shouted.

"Nice one!" Izzy complimented.

"Can't wait for the bell" Gwen said, evilly sneering as she cocked her gun and moved her mask over his mouth. Trent gave her a wink and she broke her stance to chuckle and wink back, then he moved back into position. The distance between them was palpable and Gwen took notice to it immediately.

"""

"What's up with Trent?" Gwen asked. "He seems to be calm today, more willing to back away from me. I can't help but feel like someone may have given him a wrong impression against me or something...well, no time to worry about that now. I've got some people to kill."

"""

"_Teams, ready!"_ Chris announced. _"Set! Three! Two! One! FIGHT!!!"_ The gates flew open and the Blues came screaming out, literally, with Noah leading the pack straight into the barricaded door. He hit it with a crack and Owen came tumbling down with unstoppable kinetic energy as well, denting the wall from the inside out. He pushed away and Noah fell lethargically to the ground.

"Okay" Noah began, "let's charge out that way." He pointed with his broken finger over to the far left entrance which was bordered with wood and stone. Trent went over but quickly came back with his report.

"That way's blocked too" he said. Noah pushed himself up and got a quick heal from Gwen. He straightened and cracked his back loudly.

"Right...well" he said, thinking for a moment, "looks like we've only got one way out of here. They've got us trapped pretty good. Alright, let's go. Heather, go kick some ass." Noah passed by her and patter her back to encourage her forward.

"Time out!" Heather demanded. "Why just me? Shouldn't you send someone else out _with_ me to make sure I don't _die!?_"

"Ah, you'll be fine" Izzy said, picking her up by the short end of her scarf.

"That's it!" Heather shouted. "This thing goes in the garbage the first chance I get! Get off me!!!" Heather slapped Izzy away, raised the collar of her scarf up over her mouth and cloaked away. No one saw her coming or going as she sneaked straight past Eva and the entire battleground.

"""  
"As if" Heather said "someone as important as me is going straight into the battle and getting killed in the first minute! I need to stay in the game for as long as possible and stay a threat."

"""

"Lindsay" Noah ordered, "you're up. Run out there and get them distracted."

"Aye aye!" Lindsay said, tapping her forehead with her hand. She activated her pumps and blazed out as a blur, only to be shot down by Eva and the turret and returned full of holes into the cave.

"Riiiiight..." Noah droned. "Plan 'J'."

"What's the J stand for?" Gwen asked. All eyes turned to Justin, who smiled and relished in the attention.

"""

"Oh yeah" Justin said. "I always knew these good looks would pay off. I mean, they've never really failed me before, so I guess this is just another example of what great looks can do."

"""

* * *

"What's taking them?" Eva growled. "We've only killed one of them so far and I barely did anything!"

"We might have a small leak" Courtney reported. "I noticed a strange shifting in the rain before Lindsay came out, so Heather might be lurking around somewhere. Everyone keep on your toes."

"I got my teleporter up, eh" Zeke called in. "If anyone dies just take that back here."

"Everyone got that?" Courtney asked. A bullet grazed past her, right above her as if she were crouching. "Trent's shooting. Someone get some cover!"

"Heads up!" Geoff shouted. "We've got a rocket outgoing!" Justin fired a rocket up above Eva's head and let it coast away.

"He missed!" Eva said.

"Distraction tactics" Courtney said. "Go down there and kill him!" Eva stomped down and got a small red dot on her head. Justin aimed it right into her eye and blinded her. The rocket curved sharply around and started flying back toward Eva's head. Katie saw it first and dodged out of the way with a rash of her armor. Once she realized what was happening Eva turned around and got a rocket to the face. Justin fired a regular rocket at her and blew her off her feet, causing her to tumble into the wooden wall and break it apart. She rubbed her head in pain, then got up growling only to die from a shotgun blast through the hole her body blew into the wall, courtesy of Noah.

"That's how we attack" Noah said.

"Damn" Duncan cursed. "They're fighting smart and they can somehow move their rockets mid-flight. Eva's down."

"Damn" Courtney whispered. She aimed carefully and tried to catch a glimpse of whatever she could, but the paranoia of a stalking spy somewhere got the better of her and she moved up onto the point, still staying relatively cloaked by lying down and aiming down at the hole in the wooden wall. She fired three rounds, hitting Cody and Noah each once as they were hiding behind the wall.

"She's pissed now" Cody said.

"Owen" Noah called, "you done yet?"

"Just about" Owen reported. He and Izzy were working on destroying the other wall so they could continue through to the far left route and hop up to the point floor without going through a most-likely trapped building. Izzy hacked and chopped away with her ax while Owen made short shoulder-charges and belly-flops into it. Trent came up as well and was chopping with his machete and Gwen was sawing apart the wood right next to Trent. "Gang-way!" Owen shouted. With his final running burst he plowed through the wall and fell right into the range of Zeke's turret. Gwen started healing him immediately but the bullet ricochet and rocket blasts were keeping him down.

"Owen, roll back!" Trent shouted.

"Roll like an armidillo!" Izzy shouted.

"I can't!" Owen exclaimed. "I can't even get up!"

"Hang in there, Owen!" Gwen shouted, healing him as much as she could. His health was slowly but surely decreasing from Gwen's healing stream. Zeke managed his turret and aided it with some mid-range shotgun blasts while Duncan took his careful aim through the rain. "Now! Get up!" Gwen activated her uber-charge and the force and pain from the bullets suddenly didn't matter. Duncan shot a grenade Owen's way to slow him down but the crazy Izzy came rolling out with her flamethrower and fired a blast of concentrated air, blasting the grenade straight back to Duncan and hitting him with his own weapon. They were joined by Trent who quickly took aim and sniped away Bridgette, leaving Geoff alone and angry.

"Bad move, dude!" Geoff shouted. Trent combat-rolled away from his first shot but landed in range of Courtney who killed him swiftly.

"Get off my field!" Courtney shouted as she reloaded. "You guys, get ready!" she called to the troops inside the small fort room. She jumped back down and reclaimed her position from before, finding the air oddly occupied. Before her instincts could respond she felt a cold hand grab her mouth and a long metal blade slit her throat.

"""

"Now that" Heather began "is how you play as a team. The bit players do their thing and distract the enemies while the important people, _moi, _take advantage of the confusion and action to take out the other team's leading problems."

"""

"Good job" Noah said. "Everyone move up. Justin, take down the turret."

"Already there" Justin said. He fired a rocket up into the sky, estimated its trajectory and then aimed the red dot against the wall that hid him from the turret's range. Noah and Cody took pieces of wood left from the ruins Owen had caused and tried to sue them as shields. Cody went first and got targeted by the turret whereas Geoff locked on Noah. Both of them died, giving plenty of room for Leshawna to lob a few grenades to Geoff and across the field to Katie and Duncan, who had just healed from inside the shack. Geoff ducked down and suffered minor damage and Duncan's heal was undone. He set his mortar down and started lobbing grenades onto the point floor in the hopes of throwing off the attacking Blues.

"Katie" Duncan said, "you get in there and stand by for Eva. She's going to port in."

"In there?" Katie asked with dread. "But...Sadie is in there!"

"Yeah" Duncan said "and I don't give a flying-" a rocket blast interrupted him. Justin was running across the short stretch while firing his super-fast rockets at both Duncan and Zeke's turret. He destroyed the turret before it hit him and then shot at the building and ground around Duncan. Katie ran away for the building, seeing Courtney with her sniper rifle prone in her corner, and dived into the building out of the rain. Duncan died from rocket fire and the coast was clear.

* * *

The Blue team that survived was now across the field and the coast was entirely clear. Owen and Gwen stepped onto the floor and began a march for the point. Izzy followed behind them as they were quickly assailed by rocket fire. She returned a few and forced Sadie to retreat but then Harold came out and engaged her in a fight. She tried to fight him off with fire but he ran away and stood on the point, throwing as many knives as he could at once.

"I got him" Izzy growled. She ran forward firing off her Uzi and brandishing her ax in hand. The rain suddenly picked up and formed a thick sheet of shining white. Visibility was cut to mere feet.

"I'm okay now" Noah called. "You guys should watch out. Eva's got to be up by now." And she was. Eva stomped into the room through the teleporter pad and equipped her gun with a snarl. A stream of water came in through the outside of the room and forked to the stairs which Katie now peeked over. Sadie gave her a loud huff and turned away. Katie, with her hair down over her face, huffed and spun her head, splashing Sadie and healing Eva. Eva stomped out into the room and started firing at total random into the rain. She hit Owen, who was so confused and stunned by the rain that he stopped and died from the constant fire. Gwen retreated and bumped into Leshawna who slipped and fell from the rain.

"Sorry" Gwen said.

"No problem" Leshawna said. "Let's get rid of that beast before we run ahead." Gwen nodded and switched to healing Leshawna. Justin came up behind her and fired at Eva who just turned invincible and saw them through the rain.

"Run!" Gwen shouted. They all ducked down off the ledge as the gatling gun sprayed bullets at them. Izzy killed Harold just in time with her superior skills in close range and due to the fact that his robes were weighing him down from the heavy rain and no sooner was she herself killed by Eva's random fire.

Back in the Blue base Beth was suiting herself up in a blue raincoat so she wouldn't get soaked when she went out. Lindsay, Noah and Cody followed suit with her, knowing the deep blue color would be hard to see in the blinding rain, and ran out all at once. Lindsay used her super-speed and ran straight into the rain, heading for the second point as was the previous plan.

"Cody" Noah began, "what have you built so far?"

"Nothing" Cody answered.

"Drop a teleport" Noah instructed "and run as far as you can get towards the second point. Go through the covert tunnel and set up a small base inside."

"Got it" Cody said. He dropped a teleporter pad and then prepared an exit one for when he had more metal. He broke away, running out the middle and down a straightaway of the map, squinting to see through the rain. The fighting seemed distant from the sound but he knew it was much closer than he would want. Noah and Beth went into the building and killed Geoff in the halls.

"Fire some warning shots" Noah instructed "up the stairs just to get them distracted. I'll peek up and shotgun whoever I can see."

"Roger" Beth said. She hopped onto the steps and fired three random rockets into the room. Her fire was returned by a rocket and a scatter-gun blast from Tyler. The fire continued and Noah didn't pop up to shoot. Instead he took Beth and ran down the hall, as the firepower was too great for him to stand up to. Up top the point floor was cleared and the Blues were preparing to lead another assault against the defending Reds but Eva presented too much of a threat for them at the time. That's when Heather came up, still disguised as Courtney, to shake up the foundation of the solid Red defense.

The rain got almost instantly softer and now only the black of the sky was the remaining signal of the heavy rain.

"Courtney!?" Eva shouted. "Why didn't you use the teleporter?"

"Lindsay got past here" Courtney said "and was trying to camp at our base. I killed her _and_ Heather who was backing her up. We can't keep making these mistakes, people! They're killing us in terms of strategy! We need someone at the other base to prevent a quick-captured like last round from happening! Zeke, rebuild a turret at the second point. Tyler, you go guard him."

"Gotcha" Tyler said.

"There's still someone down there" Sadie said, pointing to the steps. Noah realized what was going on from the context almost immediately and shushed Beth to play along with him.

"I'll get them" Courtney said. "You guys get going, ASAP! Eva, keep up the good work."

"Got it" Eva said. Courtney proceeded downstairs and saw Noah and Beth right around the corner. She winked at them and fired a few of her fake sniper rounds, just enough so her disguise wouldn't break and just enough to cover her teammates in fake blood.

"Got em!" she called back up. Noah and Beth went down with their shotguns equipped and faked death. "Nice acting" Heather whispered as she passed them. "Maybe we should switch positions for a while, Noah."

"Keep it going" Noah said. "I think we've got this." Heather nodded and continued along in the guise of Courtney just as the Blues mounted a second attack up top. She hid in the rain invisibly and threw some of her knives up at Eva, who stomped out into the open to open her fire on the marching squad of Gwen, Justin and Leshawna on back-up.

"Let's get moving pretty boy" Gwen said, ducking from the hail of fire. Justin rolled onto the point, aimed carefully, and fired all eight of his rockets in a destructive volley which blew apart the berserk Heavy girl and the soldier behind her. Katie saw her former friend get blasted against the wall and fought the temptation to heal her. She struggled to ignore the obvious danger of combat and act accordingly as a medic, but the calling of her class and her friend were both to great and she turned to heal a stain on the wall. Justin aimed his super-fast rocket at Katie next and eradicated her as well. With no opposition left the Blues captured the base flawlessly.

"_Capture, Blue!"_ Chris announced.

"What!?" Courtney, the real one, shouted from the second point where she stood on Lindsay's dead body. "Already!? Are you ****ing kidding me!?"

* * *

"Lidsay's not capturing" Noah said. "That could be bad."

"Maybe we should go" Beth said. "I think they need as much help as they can get."

"Cody" Noah hailed, "what your status?"

"Base is operational" Cody said. "Tyler got taken down by my turret, too. I think Courtney knows we're here though."

"Stay under cover" Noah said. "Courtney won't hesitate to pop your head if its out in the open. Just maintain the teleporter exit and dispenser if you can."

"They're both in the cave" Cody said. "She can't hit them."

"Nice" Noah said. He turned his radio onto its widest-reaching frequency and called to all of his allies. "Attention Blue team, this is your leader. There has been a slight alteration of plans. We will meet at Cody's sub-base halfway to the second point. Once everyone is there we will mount a second attack. We may have the luxury of time but it _is_ still ticking away. We need to move fast!"

"Yes sir!" all the soldiers, living or not, replied. Their plan was set and they all moved to the proper position on the map while the Red team sprang to life and congregated on their own point to defend. Courtney took on an energetic second-wind of charisma and was commanding faster than her sub-machine gun could fire.

"Eva and Katie, on point!" she commanded. "Zeke, turret in the corner! Duncan, even spread across the ramparts!" Duncan fired a line of mines across the second floor building wall where the rushing Blues would be exposed. "Sadie and DJ, behind those rocks! Geoff and Bridgette guard the tunnel!"

"And where are you going, princess?" Duncan asked.

"I'm sniping" she said "from as far back as I can get."

"Where should I go?" Harold asked, slowly fading into view just behind her. Once he was completely visible she punched him and ran off. "GAH!"

"I don't care" Courtney called over the rain.

"""

"People are seriously disrespecting my skills lately" Harold said. "That's okay. As long as I can get some good stuff for myself, like killing Heather and Izzy, I'll get praised eventually. Not that I'm searching for praise. I don't need anyone's recognition anymore. I'm an MVP!"

"""

"They've got a while left" Katie said to Eva. "They have a lot time to kill and plan with. We only have one dispenser and Zeke is hogging the only ammo box!"

"Shut up!" Eva shouted. "We'll get through this, even if we don't win we can still beat their time down."

"Nice attitude!" Geoff praised. Eva mistook it for sarcasm and shot her shotgun at his feet, forcing him to dance. Bridgette pulled him away and glared up at Eva from under the actual point where her slim body could fit to hide.

"""

"I know things are tough right now" Bridgette said with a frustrated look "but Eva doesn't have to take it out on sweet Geoff! He was just being nice!"

"""

Courtney was back behind the chain-link fencing, aiming up at the ramparts and switching view down to the tunnel occasionally. With her defensive plans the point was out of the question for the Blues. Even if they had superior strategy they could only push against pure force for so long until their arms would get tired. The entirety of the operation rested on the broad, masculine shoulders of the powerful Eva.

Harold took up his cloak but not before disguising himself as an unseen player, then ran off to spy on the Blue's meeting. Tyler came back and assumed his previous role of rapid-speed recon, dashing through the rain into the tunnel with his scatter gun, acting as a waypoint for the Blues to pass if they wanted to progress and as a signal to his team to be ready to fight seriously. Tyler tensed up and pressed hard against the wall, not noticing the sudden electric crackle of an invisibility suit above him...

* * *

So now the forces move into position. The Blues startegize in the cave, preparing to make a heroic, destructive rush to the second point where the Reds defend with everything save the kitchen sink, although in her rage Courtney is sure to swap her stun-baton for one to get an extra kill. In the final stretch there can be only one winner, one supreme force of destruction. This is the capture that will determine the win, the clinch of time that will either swing the Blues into the final map far ahead of the Reds or act as an impassible wall of defeat to stop Noah and his team dead in their tracks. Who will win? What will happen? Find out next time on _Total Drama..._Wait a sec...this is a double episode! Find it all out **RIGHT NOW!!!**


	48. Dustbowl 10

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Starting immediately from the previous 'episode', Noah rallied his team around and began his planning. The clock continued ticking away into the border of fifteen minutes...

"Alright" Noah began "this plan isn't too terribly complex but it isn't going to be simple. Heather, you know what you're going to do. Slip in as silently as possible and cause as much subterfuge damage as possible. Zeke's turret isn't much to worry about but it can still slow us down."

"I'll get on that" Justin said, clicking on his red-dot guiding sight.

"We're counting on it" Noah said. "Owen and Gwen, you're our main pushing force. We'll need you to get a good running start down in the tunnel so you can come straight up and kill whoever is on the point, most likely Eva. Trent, just kill everyone and stay out of combat. Izzy is our secondary push force. Along with Cody, Beth and Lindsay you will flank around behind the rock. Watch out, there may be someone there. Leshawna, you and I will go up on the ramparts and distract them. Lindsay...let me see your shoes quick."

"Why?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm going to de-tweak them" he said flatly "so I can reuse the bonus power on myself for self-defense. Once this plan works we can get as many people on the point as we want."

"Yeah" Beth began, defending her friend, "but with her super-sonic pumps she can get there before anyone and her capture rate is twice normal speed."

"We'd need her on the point first" Trent said "to get ahead. That way, even if she dies, we'll have more of a lead than if just one of us got there."

"It's either Lindsay's shoes" Noah said "or Justin's rocket."

"""  
"Nothing against the girl" Leshawna said. "Those shoes were tight on her. But seriously, we need that man-babe bazooka blasting up holes in the battlefield!"

"""

Lindsay hesitantly handed over her shoes, got them reverted back to normal and then received them again, gleeful to see that their cute design hadn't changed at all. She put them on and clapped, bouncing on her tip-toes with extreme delight. Her team wasn't too impressed with her single-track mind but they didn't say anything. It wouldn't be good for team morale to drop so suddenly _before_ the start of the fight.

"I'm going" Heather said. "Don't screw this up you guys." She left her team to make her rounds and spy on the Reds. The rest of the team prepared to mobilize, strapping their gear and checking their guns. Then an echoing shotgun blast resounded out in the hall. Noah's curiosity overwhelmed him and he ducked out ahead of the plan, aiming his modified automatic shotgun out. Nothing was there. Not even blood. He tried to duck back quickly but small bullets began stinging his back as Tyler appeared to pistol-snipe him out.

"Cover!" Noah called. Cody ran out and fired his shotgun to save Noah's life, leaving him just within an inch of life when Tyler hit the ground.

"Tyler's dead" Courtney warned. "I see two figures outside my range. Noah and Cody, it looks like. Get ready for an attack up high!" Duncan kept his finger ready at his detonation trigger. Eva spun her gun and readied herself for a charge from the tunnel. Sadie got herself poised and ready behind the rocks for something to come, but just as she got something in her sights she was killed by a lightning-fast sniper bullet.

"Trent' coming!" DJ shouted, getting behind his cover. "He took out Sadie." Katie gasped behind Eva.

"How can he see so well?" Courtney asked, wiping off her scope. Trent moved his team up and hid behind the rocks.

"I need to split" Trent said. "Keep them distracted while I get into position." A roar of bullets denied him the chance.

"Looks like they're awake" Izzy said with a snarl. "Let's show 'em a breakfast they'll never forget!"

"Did that make sense to you?" Lindsay asked to Beth. Izzy took out her Uzi and started blindly spraying fire from her cover. Her damage was minimal and easily healed, but the bullets were focused on her arm long enough for Trent to make a clean getaway back to his position, standing behind Gwen and Owen.

"I like the rain" Owen said somewhat goofily. Gwen and Trent exchanged a warm look and casual hand waves. Then, suddenly, the rain stopped.

"_Good news!"_ Chris began.

"Oh my god, nooo!!!!" Zeke shouted, a reflex to anything Chris had said which he honed and created over his run of the show.

"_We're stopping the rain for now"_ Chris said. _"Get ready to experience some good-old sunny skies for the duration of the map!"_

"Well that's good" Noah said, "although, I can't help but think there's an ulterior motive to this..."

"""

"Over the seasons" Gwen began "I've learned very well and very early to never, _never_ trust Chris McClean."

"""

"I wonder what's biting them" Chris said. Then he chuckle din his usual superior way. "It's almost like they don't know me, eh?"

"""

* * *

Justin hung back with Trent who was looking down the long, open tunnel with his sniper scope. He had cut a notch in the brim of his hat and used the fabric to cover his scope in the rain, allowing him his excellent vision earlier, but now he used it to wipe away the quickly building fog and continued aiming. Justin was setting himself up for an inordinately complex series of red-dot rocket launches.

"How's it going, dude?" Trent asked.

"Pretty good" Justin said. "I've just about got these movements and trajectories down. What about you? You doing okay too?"

"Sure am" Trent said.

"You sure?" Justin asked. "I mean, sure, you're obviously a great sniper, but what about you and Gwen?" Trent looked up for a moment, then shot his eyes back down into his sight.

"Never better" Trent said. "I'm spending lots of time with her outside the matches but letting her do her thing when we're fighting so I don't get in her way."

"You just let her do whatever?" Justin asked. He looked away and sneered as he prepped his rocket. Trent didn't see the obvious scheming in his handsome eyes as he was fully concentrated on getting a perfect headshot on the first unlucky and foolish sucker to rush forward. Justin crouched down and aimed his gun up above the central structure. A rocket roared out, following the straight red line as Justin very slowly lowered it and turned it. Once the rocket was far enough away Justin aimed his guiding dot to the lowest point of the side of the building and the rocket snapped around in an instant. It began traveling for the dot and intercepted the wall between it, just above Zeke's turret.

"If there were guided rockets" Justin began "we could be winning a bit faster, you know."

"Talk to Noah about it" Trent said.

"I don't think I'll need to" Justin said. He had finally caught Trent's attention with the inference of his true motives. "You see this rocket?" Justin asked, motioning to his incredibly powerful weapon. "I want to keep it, and so do you. This thing is the key to our victory. It'll give us more than just an edge over the other team, it'll give us a whole spectrum of difference! With guided rockets we could manage the enemy advance from the clear other side of the map!"

"But dude" Trent began, "we promised the MVP to Owen! He deserved it last time and he's been doing great all game. He's been taking on Eva, an MVP, without any powers beside his own natural girth."

"And that's _all_ he can do" Justin said. "My MVP bonus would be good against everyone, Owen would still only be useful against one person. A person, I remind you, that is smitten by me and requires no force for me to overcome."

"Why are you telling me this, man?" Trent demanded.

"If things between you" Justin began "and miss 'Super Nurse' are really as great as you say, you should be able to get her to sway the vote in my favor. Izzy's a nut, so she'll fall my way regardless and with a little convincing I can get Heather on board as well. It'll be easy, I just need you to help me convince Gwen."

"So you can't get the vote on your own?" Noah asked.

"Not from Noah" Justin said. "Are you blind? That dude has it out for me. He's dangerously jealous." A sudden burst of random gun fire came their way. Trent saw Tyler running across the rampart, leaning far back and firing as fast as he could...at himself, who nimbly dodged the bullets with his signature gun loose in hand. Trent and Justin watched as the first, real Tyler ran into the rocks and got barbequed by Izzy. The fake Tyler flashed a thumb up and sped away for more intricate subterfuge.

"""

"I had a flawless plan" Heather began "worked out from the beginning. I guess my mind has become so accustomed to working for itself that I've learned to unconsciously plan for the near future with incredible detail."

"""

Courtney's team scrambled for applicable positions to defend the Blues with. The attack was on. Courtney kept her sights on the upper level, seeing nothing coming or going for the point.

"Owen inbound!" Geoff reported.

"He's coming fast" Bridgette added. "Gwen's charging him up, too!"

"Watch the rocks" Eva shouted. "Izzy's over there."

"Where's Harold at!?" Courtney demanded. "He'd better take care of that maniac before she can so much as-"

"Here I am" Harold called, dropping in from behind. Courtney reflexively kicked him in the gut from behind and turned to face him. "Ow, Gah! What was that for?"

"I'm on edge" Courtney said, holding her hand to her hip. "You should have known better. Now, go kill Izzy before I plant a boot up your narrow, scrawny butt!"

"""

"I don't hate Harold" Courtney said innocently. "Sure, he cheated and got me kicked off in season one and he's a generally annoying little prick, but he's a great soldier and a strong fighter, almost stronger in skill than Eva. The reason why I don't seem to trust Harold is because I don't trust Heather. I have to make sure she isn't working any discrete angles by imitating the last person we'd expect her to be."

"""

Fortunately for the Red fans, Courtney's assumption was right on the bullet. Heather snarled as she ran in the guise of Harold to intercept her own teammates. Once there she made herself known with a throwing of rubber knives. The surprise of the attack threw Izzy in to a berserk fury. She pounced Harold with a deafening screech and started clawing and ripping at him.

"GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Harold screamed into the sky. Tyler looked up and stood firmly, taking off his face to reveal the _real Harold_ with a sneer.

"So" the real Harold began, "this is what it has come to..."

"IZZY!" Beth shouted, prying the manic, flailing monster away from the shaking Heather. "It's just Heather! Calm down!" Izzy stopped snarling and raised her mask up, then waved to her apprentice like an old friend only to receive and katana up her chin. Thankfully there was no friendly fire or she'd be close to death.

"That hurt!" Heather lowed. She stomped over and waited for the med-kit to respawn. "So anyway, their defense is pretty strong. I think Harold is running around trying to throw us off, but I didn't notice. You guys see any holes yet?" A muted explosion came from the battlefield and was quickly followed by roaring gunfire. DJ was keeping an invincible Eva charged while an even more invulnerable Owen stomped his way into the battle. Gwen had her medi-gun in one hand, immortalizing her Heavy partner and her syringe gun in the other, draining the health of the damaged turret and the engineer behind it.

"I can shoot through that!" Courtney said. She aimed carefully and prepared to fire but a cluster of bullets interrupted her and forced her attention to shift.

"Up top!" Geoff shouted, popping out to blast the ground at Owen's feet. His balance lost, the big man fell straight down and left Gwen exposed as the uber wore off. She kindly accepted her fate and got a battery of damage just as Eva pile-drove Owen and killed him with her Atomic Shoulders.

"""

"I've named my moves" Eva said, flexing her massive shoulder muscles. "This one" the right one "is the 'Epileptic-ator', and this one" the left "is 'Luci-Fury'. I got them from my old middle-school wrestling names. I couldn't get on the team, though, because those pansies said headbutting was _illegal._"

"""

* * *

"Hello up there!" Noah called. Courtney's neck shot up and she saw her absolute rival casually leaning against the edge of the wooden corner, a mean looking shotgun in his crossed hand. "How's it going?"

"Are you kidding?" Courtney said. "Heh. Kill him." Her casual attitude towards murder made Noah smirk. He threw down a small metallic ball, a grenade, and disabled all play within the area. A super-engineer EMP grenade! With the weapons crackling with static and Zeke's turret spinning around and hitting him in the face the Red team was left at a temporary ceasefire.

"I've been thinking" Noah began, "this whole game is pretty fun but the stakes aren't high enough."

"What do you mean?" Courtney asked. "We're all playing our asses off for 300,000 tax-free dollars! Tax-free! What could make this game more interesting for anyone?"

"All I'm saying" Noah continued "is that the reward being offered by the producers seems a bit stingy, even considering all the effort of eleven individual participants. I should hold my tongue on matters like this, but I think personal degradation would make much better television." Courtney noticed that her team was looking straight at her, using her as a reference of judgment. She gripped the grip of her amazing gun and knew that it worked, but tapped it to her shoulder without firing and stepped forward, still acting as helpless as her team felt. Zeke was passed out from too many consecutive blows to the jaw.

"Please" Courtney said, "continue."

"After this match" Noah said "win or lose both teams will somehow confer and determine items of knowledge of personal worth that they would rather die than hand over or expose. Whether it be someone's first love letter or someone's secret love, it will be aired upon losing this game with a majority of maps lost."

"Are you willing to take part?" Courtney asked.

"I've already got a tape set up" Noah said "in case I do lose. It's pretty humiliating. I cringe mentally at the thought of it airing." Courtney smirked and tried to stare him down. The realistic height difference didn't matter. Any fool could see that they were glaring at eye level and neither was budging at all.

"I think" Courtney began "that's a completely stupid idea that panders too much to the already idiotic viewers who tune in every week. So yes, I'm in."

"Really?" Noah asked.

"I'd shake your hand on this" Courtney shouted, aiming her gun up "but then I'd just have to **tear it off!**" She shot and Noah dodged. The teams realized their weapons worked again and began fighting. Noah ran along the rampart lined with mines and outraced each of their sequential explosions, blasting away rapid-fire rounds of his shotgun as he left. Courtney had only minor damage but the bulk of his aim wasn't directed at her. Zeke's turret was smoking and crackling with damage. He frantically rushed to repair it in time as Courtney retreated. A rocket forked down into her path and blew her up, her body accidentally defending Zeke's turret form Justin's latest barrage.

"Missed again" Justin hissed. He looked through his scope and saw that he had a perfectly clear shot for Bridgette, who hid right under the base. "Helloooo there" he menacingly hummed. With a grim chuckle he set his launcher to super-speed rockets but got a swift, hard bat to the head before he could fire. "My hair!" he shouted. His last living thought before the real Tyler killed him. His swiftness was unrivaled, and in the chaos of his team ganging up on Owen and Izzy hitting Heather he slipped in the back to kill the sniper who was so far away. Instead he killed Justin, which he considered an accomplishment and smiled.

"Justin?" Trent shouted. He hopped down from the wooden rail arc above the mine entrance and Tyler ran away down the tunnel, heading now for the Blue's forward base he had discovered. "Justin? Aw man, there's chunks of you all over the place! Well, consider this show of 'skill' my declination, pal. No one's working one over on my girlfriend while I'm here!" Just then, almost ironically, he died. Geoff noticed him and rocketed him straight in the head with a critical hit.

"AWESOME!" Geoff shouted, accepting a high-five from the barely-standing Zeke. "The dude didn't even see me!"

"I know!" Izzy said, causally standing next to him. "Almost like how you guys never even saw _me!_" The panic overwhelmed the team. The evil girl glared over with fanged teeth and lowered her mask, unsheathing a revved and spinning chainsaw from behind and holding it high over head!!!

"""

"Seriously!" Bridgette exclaimed. "Where did she come from!?"

"""

Geoff had no life left in him to dodge. After his head was severed Izzy went to work berserkly making her way over to Bridgette who scrambled to retreat from the area beneath the point. Eva kicked Izzy away, foot straight to face, and Tyler came down out of nowhere with a brandished sword, planting it straight through Izzy's back. A cloud of smoke erupted and Harold stood in his Japanese garb and mask behind Izzy.

"Ouch!" Izzy grunted. "Jerk." Harold almost went pale. He saw steam rising up from the stab wound and saw a wig of red hair fall to the ground. Izzy was Heather in reality, wielding one of Noah and Cody's collaborative monster melee weapons made from both of their wrenches, Noah's dispenser parts and Izzy's actual ax. Now the weapon was silent with its smiling wielder and a terrifying scream came from behind a plume of moving fire.

"**OH YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!**" Izzy roared. She made quick, toasty work of Harold and Bridgette then used her distance setting to destroy Zeke and his buildings. Now only the enraged Eva was left with the pacifist DJ healing her through the fence he just climbed over. She swatted away Heather's dead body and pushed through the fire, DJ's healing outdoing the damage. Izzy set her gun for concentrated fire and started dealing much more serious damage but Eva had gotten far enough to grab the searing-hot of the gun and throw it away. Izzy took out her Uzi and planted a short burst of bullets in the girl's body but it didn't do anything. Eva picked her up, held her over her head and snapped her in half. Digital blood coated her and exponentially increased her threatening presence.

"Eh-heh" Beth nervously laughed. "I guess we should get out of your way, huh?" Eva picked her up, tossed her behind her back and then punted her away with a swift raise of her leg. Lindsay ran away at full speed, forgetting that she had no super-shoes on, and Eva chased after her. Noah wa around the corner with Cody beside him and they unloaded all their shotgun ammo into her, killing her and blasting her apart into little bits.

"You losers forget someone?" Duncan asked. "I never left!" He started lobbing grenades rapidly at them, chasing and abandoning his post.

"Whoever's alive" Noah called "get on the point! The plan worked and the point is exposed!"

"Oh man!" Owen shouted, dancing at the teleporter pad. Gwen had just gone ahead, despite his own strategic forethought, and he had to wait the ten seconds to get the pad back up to a hundred. "Come on, come on!!!" The pad was finally functional and Owen chuckled with glee. Suddenly Heather came out and shoved her way to the front of the line and ported away.

"See ya" she sang. She dissolved into Blue mist.

"Oh, COME OOON!!!" Owen shouted. "Sweet biscuits and gravy, I need to get to the front lines!" Owen took a brave, almost stupid gambit, and started running through the stage in sweltering heat. He was panting right away and had to take a break right at the metal shed in the first point area. Meanwhile, Heather's dead body was dropped by Tyler, who had been camping the base for as long as he could. Now semi-automatic shotgun fire rang out and took him down. The dispenser was down and the turret had a box pushed in front of it, a part of Tyler's odd ingenuity.

"What the heck?" Cody said, looking at the damage. "How did he do all this?"

"People can be surprising" Noah said. "We've got about five minutes left here. I say we wait."

"No way" Heather said in her respawn purgatory where only her voice and hearing could exist. "If we stop pushing now the Reds will regroup and form a tighter defense! I say we rush in as fast as we can for as long as we can handle and make our goal the point instead of totally clearing the area."

"Just get Izzy in there" Beth said. "She can growl and scare the Reds away."

"I'm not a wolf" Izzy defended, oddly offended by the obvious observation.

"I'm up" Trent said. "Owen's walking it. I'm going to say that's bad."

"It may be" Noah said. "Timing is the essence of surprise, you know."

"Is it really?" Cody asked off the radio.

"Beats me" Noah said off the radio as well. "I know equations, not soliloquies."

"Those are-" Cody began, but was cut off by an uncaring Noah.

"Listen up" Noah began, "as soon as you can regroup in your previous teams and make a break for the point. Duncan is still chasing us so it should still be uncovered."

"Ah, ****" Duncan cursed form down the hall. He had just used all his sticky mines in a berserk fury to cover Noah and Cody's escape routes. "I knew I forgot something!"

* * *

The fighting began once again with a bang! Justin charged in through the tunnel and confronted an enraged Harold. Harold outmaneuvered Justin and swiftly killed him, making way for his next team mates Sadie and Katie, who were still at odd ends. They huffed away from each other simultaneously but Katie looked back with regret. Duncan made his way back covered in someone's blood and got smoked out by Izzy who dropped from below and killed him with her flamethrower. She spun around and spread Napalm everywhere, then attempted to retreat but Sadie killed her before she got too far. Gwen and Owen stormed through the fire on their ubercharge and killed Harold, Sadie and Katie just as Courtney came out and killed shot ineffective bullets at Owen's huge neck.

Courtney was occupied by Trent, who appeared up top and nearly killed her, while Gwen and Owen triumphantly made their way up to the point. Lindsay and Beth took their places behind the rocks and waited to aid their occupying team mates whenever they could. The Red team clashed violently with the Blues on their point only to be defeated until Eva came climbing up the fence like a monster and slammed down onto the point. The uber ended and it was now contested. She reeled a hand straight up and swatted Gwen away, leaving Owen to tangle with her alone. They pressed against each other as hard as they could, but the heat finally reached Owen and he lost his will to fight. Eva picked him up and threw him on the stirring Gwen, killing them both. She beat her chest heroically and stomped onto her point, catching just a glimpse of a new enemy coming into the scene.

It was Lindsay, hair in a tight ponytail with her bandana. She was glaring daggers at Eva, backed up a step and took a sprinters running start.

"""

"Force" Noah began "is not entirely a question of mass. It is mass times acceleration, acceleration being a measurement of speed squared. **Squared.** The mass isn't the prime factor of the equation. Therefore, a stick of a woman weighing somewhere between 90 and 120 pounds would need to more than double her mass with speed in order to topple a static body of mass weighing in at a proud 175 of pure muscle. Oh yeah. Kids, it may be hard, but in times of desperation Algebra really rocks."

"""

Lindsay had equipped her super-sonic shoes, now remade into super-stylish Italian boots from a premade locker in the respawn room, and made a daring sprint straight at Eva. Utterly surprised by her speed Eva lowered her guard and received an after-image making bionic-enhanced Lindsay straight to her solar plexus. She was thrown against and through the fence while Lindsay rolled painfully down to the point. Her boots made contact and made a **triple effort** to capture the point in mere seconds. Leshawna popped out from her cover up top and covered the point with stickies from afar, destroying anyone foolish enough to rush in to try and stop the capture, namely Zeke.

"_GAME!"_ Chris announced. _"Blue team has captured the point with time to spare! They will be starting with just under ten minutes on the third map! Can the Reds hold out long enough to secure a proud victory, or will the difference in time and skill force their weak wills to surrender?"_

"""

"No living man" Eva growled "has ever called me weak."

"""

"Noah is surprising me" Courtney said. "I think I may just have to take him up on this bet. I do have an image that I want to protect, after all, and based on the poor performance of my team I would say that they'll need all the motivation they can get."

"""

"I think that went well" Noah said. "My team just surprises me at every turn."

"""

"I can certainly take the MVP" Justin said smugly. "It's all a matter of who and when. Whoever I decide is worth taking down is who I will approach when the time calls for it. Heather thinks she's the Czar of spin? No way, not even close."

"""

"Things are really going great" Cody said. "I've been contributing a lot to the team lately, and Noah's been keeping me close by. I think he's making me his protege in the arts of war."

"""

"I am so stoked!" Owen shouted. "I can already taste what I'm gonna do with that 300 Large! I'm ordering...wait for it...$300,000 worth of Large Pizza Pies!!! WHOOOOO!!!! Of course, everyone else is invited along to eat them with me. I think I could handle them alright, but why have everyone miss out on such a rad thing, huh?"

"""

"I'm buying a degree" Zeke said. "That is, assuming I win, which I probably will, eh. I mean, I'm a really key member of the team right now. I'm just...alright, I'm scared, eh? My mom caught me playing war in our backyard with the chickens and I accidentally killed a few of them with....the...the wheat thresher. Now I'm afraid of fighting and stuff, but I don't think anyone is noticing much, eh? I beat Gwen up good that one time. I just need to keep doing that!"

"""

"I have a feeling" Trent admitted "real deep in my gut that things are just going to keep getting worse and worse from here on out in terms of my relationship. First, a male model is going to try and seduce my girlfriend who I just now managed to find a good balance of time with, and then the fighting is just gonna keep pulling us apart. Dude, I don't think I can handle it all on my own."

"""

"I've been watching" Leshawna began "and I can see Trent sweating over Gwen. Well don't worry, boy, the goddess of love Leshawna is on your side. Not even Justin will stand in my way!"

"""

"First thing I'll do with my money" Duncan began, flipping his switchblade up and down, "is hunt **you** down, Chris, and make sure you get the same treatment you forced all of us through for the last summer and a half! You better hope your trailer has some damn tight locks, man."

"""

"Just for the record" Hatchet began, "I bet on the Blues to win. Chris is a simple man. He thinks Red can win on brute force alone. Mm-mmm" he hummed, shaking his head. "Everyone knows a great mind can outflank even greater strength if the commander is strong enough. The war taught me that...the one I was in."

"""

* * *

The Blues are blazing along, leaving a trail of insurmountable destruction in their wake! Noah's brilliance in testing the system around him is triumphing in amazing ways. However, the sheer power that Courtney holds in the puppet strings around her fingers is a formidable force indeed. With Eva finding her highest peak of strength each match and using it with destructive consequences aimed at her enemies, it is only a matter of time before the Blues are stopped by her impenetrable defenses. Will Justin's plans to rise up to ultimate power succeed or backfire? Will he break up Gwen and Trent all for a little more power? Will Zeke be able to prove himself in the next map and earn unparalleled respect from his team? Will the lone-wolf Harold ever be able to cleanly defeat the menace known as Izzy in a perfect one-on-one battle?

Find out some of this next time, as we bring you the thrilling conclusion to the Dustbowl map! Right here on _**Total.  
Drama.  
ACTION!!!!**_


	49. Dustbowl 11 final

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Already the teams prepared for the coming onslaught of war. The Reds, desperate not to have any of their precious information spewed across the waves of international television, gathered around a white board with Courtney to use as much time as possible not to build in a panic but to set themselves up mentally for the conditions they would have to face.

"Okay team" Courtney began, tapping a riding crop whip in her hand, "this match is crucial. They've already got a huge time lead on us, but if they can't get to the point in time then they won't win at all!"

"You sure about that?" Eva asked.

"They goal" Courtney said "is to beat the other team's time and progress. Both, not just one. We've already lost on time but we can still get a tie on progress!"

"Won't a tie" Geoff asked "be bad?"

"Yeah" Bridgette agreed, standing next to her beau. "We'll have to have some kind of horrible tie-breaker."

"Better than losing" Courtney said. "At least with a tie breaker we have a chance to come back!"

"How hard can it be?" Eva asked. "This is the third map. It isn't weighed against us as bad as it was in the other two maps. I've seen the first point here. It's totally open in all directions. We even have a bunker to hide in and assault them as they capture it."

"We can't rest" Courtney said "on those laurels during a war! We need to outwit the Blue team more than we ever have before if we want them to stop steamrolling us to death!"

"""

"Eee-Ouch" Duncan said. "Nice visuals."

"""

"We'll need to be on top of everything," Courtney continued, "including spy-checking. So, Zeke, we'll have you build your turret here." Courtney circled an area off in the corner of the map, relatively far from any major action, but close enough to the point and the main alley to help defend. It was behind the building and its small set of stairs, a long stretch that any spy would have to sneak through without being discovered, a virtual impossibility. "You're job, aside form keeping it up, will be to shoot anyone that comes near it with your shotgun until you're certain it's not Heather."

"Alrighty" Zeke said. Courtney glared at him, forcing him to stand up, salute with a chop to his head and then sit down. Courtney smiled and turned back around, drawing more positions on the map.

"Eva and Katie" Courtney continued "will be on the point. Duncan, you will mine each one of the Blue's exits and kill anyone stupid enough to come out." Eva pounded her fists together and Duncan cocked his grenade gun affirmatively. "Geoff and Bridgette will stake out the left window of the building while Sadie and DJ get the right. Keep the Blues at bay so the rest of us don't have to worry about them immediately."

"What about Justin?" Geoff asked. "That dude's got a pretty wicked set-up from his team, man."

"We will cross that bridge" Courtney said "when we come to it, then chop it apart and burn it with a nuclear fire so not even his handsome ashes will get to escape." An awkward silence passed through the room, but Courtney didn't mind it. She continued mapping positions while her team exchanged several very uncomfortable glances behind her back.

"""

"Dude" Tyler said "relax! It's just a game, man! Sure, we're playing for money, but there are more important things than just moola, bro. Like...um...Love! And.........water. But you can buy water...huh...."

"""

"Harold and Tyler" Courtney said, "you two pulled a brilliant strategy last round, disctracting the Blues so much that they couldn't figure out which spy was which until the very end."

"We set it up" Harold bragged "way before hand."

"Yeah, man!" Tyler exclaimed. They high-fived each other, both missing out of clumsy stupidity and connecting their palms with their faces. "Ow!"

"GAH!" Harold shouted.

"Do it again" Courtney said "and keep at it so long as you can keep the Blues from advancing. If they find you out go out swinging. Harold, don't you dare ask me 'what about Izzy?' I don't care about Izzy! She's just as mortal as the rest of us!"

"Well" Duncan began "she kinda isn't."

"She's not _sane_" Eva corrected "like the rest of us. I can take her out if she gets too rambunctious beyond our border of control."

"I'll be in charge of that" Courtney said. She positioned herself just out of the main combat area. She was to crouch in the small opening welded out of the steel walls. A winding tunnel from the spawn area to the tiny room was the only means of getting there without an assisted lift, the perfect area for a long-range sniper to hide. "If anyone gives us any trouble I'll make sure they don't have a head on their shoulders to think with."

"You won't have" Duncan said "a real wide range up there."

"But" Courtney said "I'll be safe. Eva's gun doesn't have the range, yours doesn't have the speed and Harold's weapons are all too close-combat oriented to be useful in stopping sudden charges. My gun is the only one capable of delivering a 100% instant-kill headshot at any range, meaning that I have the most invaluable resource against a full rush. I can kill two people per second if my sights are straight, **and they are**, so speaking purely from a team-bias perspective I have the most reason not to die." Courtney expected retaliation to come her way, but in this match where choking pride was at stake her team only exchanged looks of confidence and gave her their utmost respect.

"Alright then" Duncan said, standing up, "let's get moving!"

"Off we go!" Tyler shouted. Harold stood up as Tyler and mimicked his pose with an arm raised up to the ceiling.

"Into the wild doom, yonder!" Harold shouted in Tyler's voice. They bumped fists successfully and ran. Harold didn't trip over himself though, the only real sign that his guise was only visual. The Red team mobilized with dazzling speed to their positions, memorizing them perfectly, and set up for the Blue attack coming in only a few seconds. Courtney took a knee at her designated spot and saw that everything was in perfect order. Zeke's turret was already a level two, Duncan had spread his grenades all over the Blue exit area, Eva and Katie were prepared to face whatever came at them on the point, the soldiers were in place, Tyler was ready to race out into their base and Harold was ready to sprint behind him for mass-confusion emphasis; yes, the defense was ready! The Unstoppable Force was about to meet with their nemesis, the moving Unmovable Object, and a cosmic clash was inevitable.

"Uh, boss?" Duncan said on a private feed to Courtney's earpiece.

"What is it?" Courtney asked.

"We may have a problem" Duncan said haltingly, trying his hardest not to get her upset.

"How?" Courtney asked.

"No visual confirmation on the Blues" Duncan reported. "They haven't come out of their base...apparently. We can't tell if they're setting up to attack or not."

"""  
"Those sneaky bastards" Courtney lowed. "They think they can do the same thing, over and over, just hide in the shadows until our defense is down, and get away with it? They don't know who they're messing with!...Wait a minute. Yes they do! They're screwing with me, aren't they? **I'll kill them!!!**"

"""

* * *

"_Let's get it on!"_ Chris announced. _"The last round of Dustbowl is a GO!"_Despite his call to arms the Blues did not advance. Painfully slow seconds passed by but no action came to the field. Patient, almost maddening silence passed. The whirring of Zeke's turret and the quiet tapping of his wrench were the only sounds in the field.

"What are you up to...?" Courtney demanded, keeping a steady, sturdy eye on her radar. Eva didn't bother to rev her gun until she heard the rattling of gun fire and now she was bored. Harold held Tyler back until he could have an affirmative view of the enemies, not wanting to spring a deadly trap and hold his team back. The soldiers acting as sentries in the building windows gave constant mutual shrugs. No trace of the Blues was to be found.

"What are they doing!?" Duncan exclaimed. "Did they give up?"

"They better not have" Eva said "or I'm gonna go in there and kick all their asses myself!"

"Their asses would be getting kicked already" Katie said "if they bothered to show up on time!"

"They might still be planning" Bridgette said. "Noah's a brainiac, after all. He's bound to have some super-smart strategy."

"I think" Sadie said "they're just trying to get us off guard."

"It's a psychological trap!" Courtney announced over the wide channel. "Everyone stay on guard. Only blink once every ten seconds so you don't miss anything!" Harold's eyes suddenly started to itch and water but he held back the unstable urge to blink them.

"""

"Every time" Harold gripped "someone tells you not to do something it makes you want to do it even more!"

"""

The waiting continued for a solid minute. The Blues had time to kill, just under twenty minutes at the start of the match, but it was still time they would need to advance. It seemed that nothing was happening and that the Blues really had given up, but the Reds refused to believe it. With more than just monetary gains riding on the end victory the Blues wouldn't dare risk the entire game on the last map match. If the Red won it would all play in their favor, if the Blues won they would gain the advantage. This was the match for that elusive, morale building and crushing third point. Even if a plan was brilliant beyond rational thought no sane leader would dare to let that lead escape them.

"Maybe Heather got out already" Duncan said.

"I'm watching with heat vision" Courtney said. "She can't escape that. I haven't seen anything aside form a few flies in the air!"

"Maybe she was the flies" Sadie said.

"She can't disguise herself as flies!" Katie hollered back.

"Shut up!" Eva roared. "It's too hot to argue!"

"That's it!" Courtney said, wiping away a wick of sweat. "It was a torrential downpour earlier then it suddenly got switched to desert scorcher! The intense heat combined with the post-rain humidity is making it unbearably hot! They're waiting for us to get too hot to concentrate, and then they'll make their move!"

"How can we be sure" Duncan said "that they can watch us?"

"Noah probably hacked in to the cameras" Courtney said. "Nobody make any tired signs! Show no weakness!" The Reds braced themselves against the beating heat and prepared for the racing Blues to explode from the doors! Unfortunately, after just two minutes, the Reds lost their resolve and were visibly panting in the heat. Katie was laying on the point, baking on both sides and Eva's underarmor suit was re-colored several hues deeper form her sweat. Courtney was still technically inside and felt none of the insane heat unless she stuck her hand out into the outside air. Duncan was still glaring ahead, waiting for movement across the wavy air, and then the silence was broken. A thin hand tossed out a small metal ball which bounced near to the alley.

"CONTACT!" Duncan shouted, shocking everyone out of their virtual heat dazes. The metal canister let out a piercing chirp and blew up with a flash, leaving a cloud of dusty smoke. "Smoke bomb!" Courtney's eyes twitched.

"""

"They were just waiting" she began on a rant "for the grenade spawn!? That's it!?!?!? They just wanted **GRENADES!!!???**"

"""

Courtney took up her scope and waited eagerly, unable to see the mass of smoke the Blues would surely come through. The rest of the Red team waited, Eva revving her gun and Duncan lobbing a few warning shots into the mist, but nothing happened. The smoke disipated and **no one was there**.

"Screw this" Duncan said. "They don't wanna come out? They aren't coming out!" Duncan activated all his sticky mines, waiting for the collective force to collapse the exits and create impassible walls of rubble for the Blues to deal with. Instead he was blown away by the furthest border of a huge explosion that seemed to materialize out of thin air.

"You're a lot stupider than you look" Heather said beyond an invisible veil. She stepped out, appearing seemingly from nowhere, and put her sword to Duncan's stunned throat. "And believe me, that's saying a whole lot." Duncan tried to make a snappy comeback but was swiftly decapitated. Heather took a quick step back just as Eva's gun started roaring bullets at her and disappeared.

"Woah!" Eva shouted. "Courtney, you're not gonna believe this."

"Not if it's anything good I bet" Courtney snapped back. Suddenly, from thin air the incredibly thick Owen came charging into the battle with Gwen healing behind him. From the air that bordered the alley Justin and Beth came as well, firing their rockets at Eva on the point while Owen spotted Courtney and forced her to retreat. She shot through the thin metal and managed to kill Gwen, prompting Owen to retreat with Beth and the still technologically enhanced Justin. Eva was badly damaged and Katie was half-dead, but otherwise they were both still alive.

"What happened!?" Courtney shouted.

"They just came out of nowhere!" Zeke exclaimed. "Like they were invisible one second, but then, suddenly they weren't!"

"The grenade!" Courtney hissed. "Heather's grenade must have put up some kind of iron curtain of energy! It's an invisible field!!!"

"""

"She's pretty quick" Noah admitted. "That's why I like this game. I'm not playing with or against total morons. Otherwise it wouldn't be fun."

"""

* * *

Now Izzy came out from behind the invisible wall, climbed up onto the building platform and forced a girly squeal out of DJ. Before the soldiers could react she fried them all, although DJ was able to escape with the better half of his hind intact. The bit that was on fire was extinguished by Zeke's dispenser. Once Izzy was done frying the already ashen corpses of the soldiers she leaned out the window, half her head disappearing, and whistled. Zeke tried pistol sniping her but she fled, squeezing herself out of the thin window and back into the invisible field.

"They're comiiiiing!" Zeke shouted over the radio.

"We know!" Courtney said. "Eva, get ready! DJ, go help her!"

"Alright" DJ said to himself, "I'm not gonna run away or hid. I need to help. I'm gonna fight!" DJ ran over and got onto the point, then duck as soon as the first rocket came at him. Courtney left her roost and grabbed cover with her wall, the blind turn from the alley so she could ambush whoever came her way. Justin and Beth came out together again with Lindsay blazing ahead of them soon after. Tyler jumped out in front of her, tripped and led himself into a take-down tackle.

"I'll leave that to you, Tyler" Courtney said as she ducked out to aim. A bullet clipped her hair and forced her back. "Dammit, how can I snipe Trent if I can't see him!?" Lindsay and Tyler continued rolling and tussling, punching and kicking at each other, in an awkward and fruitless effort at dealing damage. Noah charged into scene but his head didn't stay with his body long. Harold came from the mist of his own disguise breaking and turned on his toes to block Heather, ensuing combat which led them both into Zeke's turret range. Heather was gatling-gunned down while Eva continued holding the line back with her own power.

Izzy came back up through the window with a small ball in her hand, squeezing it gently, and crawled over to where Zeke was. He looked up, saw her terrifying mask, and reacted on instinct by firs screaming like a girl.

"EEEEEEE!!!" Then he swung at her with his wrench. Izzy gently threw her grenade, a fiery little orb, and combat-rolled away to shoot at Eva with her Uzi in a crouch. The grenade she threw erupted with deep-red molten goo, melting Zeke and his turret where they stood. Huge globs of searing lava rained down near the point, near the last three standing defenders. Katie, DJ and Eva were the only ones left to defend the point. Owen came through the field once more with Gwen in tow. Cody was close behind them, managing the dispenser built on Owen's back, and Trent got an assisted lift up into the building through the window thanks to Izzy.

"Oh man" DJ said, full of fear, "we lost! This is it! No way out! GAME OVER, MAN!!!"

"Calm down!" Eva demanded. "One of you charge me!" Katie gave her a pump and uber-charged her. Eva fearlessly stomped against the hail of bullets and rockets and calmed her crowded vision. She took out Beth and Justin with concentrated fire, forced Owen back a few steps from the sheer pressure of her bullets and managed to get Trent and Izzy hiding behind the metal beams in defense. DJ charged her next but her gatling gun was out of ammo. "Run with me!"

"If you say so" DJ said. He ran after her as she sprinted into the enemies, grabbing her arm and aiming with her shoulder. Katie shot stream after stream of syringes from her gun into the crowd, forcing them to separate. Grenades were lobbed from the distance as Leshawna came into the battle and tried to spread her explosive influence on the control point area. Eva shoulder charged Gwen, who quickly switched on her ubercharge and avoided death but was flung far away by the force of the attack, leaving Owen medic-less. Cody shot his shotgun at Eva but only incurred her wrath and got a stern, critical-hit fist to the face. He was dead. DJ stayed close behind but got tripped by Owen's leg and fell just as his charge ended. Hoping he took nothing personally, Owen did a full-body elbow slam into DJ and killed him instantly.

Heather and Noah finally came back into the fray, ready to fight, and faced Eva.

"Bad idea" Noah said quickly. Heather ran away as Eva charged into and blew away Noah. He flew and landed on a dazed, still invincible Gwen. "Ouch."

"Watch it!" Gwen exclaimed, pushing him off.

"Well" Noah said "looks like my plan worked."

"Barely" Gwen protested."

"""

"I was against it" Gwen said. "After he got done telling us that all of our deepest, most personal secrets were up to bid on the end result of this game he told us to wait. To _wait!_ What the hell!? Does he realize how much stress he put on us? I nearly popped a vein in my head!"

"""

Katie held out as long as she could, but with Eva distracted in taking down a formidable Owen she was open to Trent's sniper rifle. Now the point was undefended, which Eva took grave notice to, and rushed back to grab whatever she could to defend with. Izzy took careful aim and began firing in short bursts at her legs, crippling her to a crawl just as Duncan came back. He lobbed long-distance grenades, but by the time they reached their target Izzy had already equipped her flamethrower and repelled them away with a blast of concentrated air. Duncan couldn't hit her so he finished off Owen but Trent took him down as he strafed away. Gwen and Noah came out in tandem with Justin and Beth close behind.

"Thanks, doc" Noah said, dismissing her. Gwen saluted and turned to Justin who blasted all eight rockets at Eva, effectively obliterating her and opening the point up completely. The Blues had a straight shot for victory now and they took it as quickly as they could, first with Noah, Gwen and Justin on the point then assisted by Beth, Trent and Izzy.

"_Capture, Blue!"_Chris exclaimed. The Blues cheered for their victory while the Reds bemoaned their untimely loss. With time still on the clock and an official victory one capture away the Reds mobilized to defend the second point not for the already lost match but for their dying pride.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lindsay and Tyler rolled and rumbled their way around the corner of the first point and into the long and narrow building-bordered alley. Tyler noticed their shift in scenery, summoned up his actual strength, took Lindsay by the mouth and mid-section and led her into a stairwell where her combined force of struggle and his own clumsiness forced them to tumble down two flights of stairs and into a subterranean tunnel.

"What was that for?" Lindsay asked. "Oh, right, cause we're enemies."

"No! We're not!" Tyler demanded. He offered a hand to help her up, but she refused it in a huff and got up on her own. "Linds, babe, don't you remember? It's me. Tyler! Your boyfriend!"

"You" Lindsay said "are my opponent! Who says you're the best scout, huh? I am!"

"I know you are!" Tyler said.

"You do?" Lindsay asked. Tyler grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her.

"I don't know" he began "if they brainwashed you or what, but you've got to remember me, Linds! We met on Total Drama Island, under the dock!"

"I know you" Lindsay attested. "Of course I still know you. I'm not stupid, okay!? You're...Tyler."

"Yes, I know!" Tyler said. "I told you that already! Babe, where did we go wrong? We were so tight before, like Geoff and Bridgette!"

"Is he that fat guy?" Lindsay asked "and is she that stuffy girl? No, wait, she likes that mohawk guy." Tyler reeled back and blinked.

"""  
"Hey!" Tyler shouted into the camera accusingly. "Don't think that way about _my_ girl, alright? I learned to box when we were testing out our new line of school-sponsored gloves and head-sets! She ain't dub, she just gets forgetful in stressful situations is all. You know, like war!"

"""

"The point is" Tyler continued "that we lost our love, babe. I want that back! Screw the teams, okay! From now on, I'm not Red and you're not Blue. We can just be together, away from the gunfire, and love each other like before!"

"But" Lindsay hesitantly said, "but what about my team?"

"Come on, babe" Tyler said, holding her close, "forget the teams for once. I will if you will." Lindsay gave it a moment of serious thought. Her brain raced to make sense of the situation as fast as it could but by the time she wandered back to reality she was making out with Tyler. At that point she felt it was just better to go with the flow and knocked him over to the floor...

"Ow!" Tyler shouted. "Is that your gun in your skirt or-" Suddenly he realized what he was saying was of the entirely wrong gender and froze up. Lindsay pulled him to his feet and searched in her skirt fold/pocket and pulled out a pipe bomb.

"Oh!" Lindsay said, smacking her forehead dizzily. "I forgot I had this! Heather gave it to from her belt in case we needed some sudden firepower. Here, hold onto it for me." Before Tyler could protest he was handed the stick like a baton and as his girl clamped her lips back onto his mouth he accidentally pressed a button which made it start beeping. Rather than toss it or flat-out panic he just dipped Lindsay in the dark tunnel for maximum romantic effect and let the dread quietly fill him.

A suicide-fatality for Lindsay, since it was her bomb and Tyler was in the closest proximity to it.

* * *

Back at the _real_ action the Blues set up for the final unnecessary push on the final point. The Reds had a perfect defense set up, a turret hidden around a corner which overlooked the bridge from a hidden building doorway, Eva with three healers on point and a slab of protective metal bent into a skull mask on her head. Courtney against the wall, Duncan's mines all over the point, Geoff and Sadie flanking Eva perfectly, Harold waiting on the bridge with his robes billowing in the breeze.

The stage was set for a battle royale. Noah stepped out from around the corner, the clock still ticking away, and casually leaned in his own hips. He whistled with a hint of impression and Heather suddenly appeared at his side with yet another belt of grenades around her chest.

"Looks pretty hairy out there" Noah said to Heather.

"It sure does" Heather greed. "I can see him right there."

"See who?" Noah asked.

"Harry" Heather said, pointing right at him, "he's right there!"

"You mean Harold" Noah said and they both laughed. The rest of the team laughed in a comically canned way from behind the corner, although there was nothing comic about their evil and blood-lusting faces.

"Are they doing comedy?" Duncan asked.

"Sounds like a tragedy" Courtney said. Then she gasped and groaned. "Damn, I played right into them!"

"Care to do the honors?" Noah asked, offering his hands forward. The entire Red team was heard clacking their guns in preparation. Heather took two of the grenades from her belt and lobbed them unequal distance from each other. One was close so the invisible field enveloped the alley where she and Noah stood, the other field would end at Harold's feet. Both blew up in bright flashes and Harold went forward into the smoke, seeing through the illusion and hearing only muted, watered-down sounds of gunfire as Noah blasted his shotgun at him. Harold jumped over the bullets, then heard more coming from behind. Eva was firing into the invisibility, hoping to hit something. Noah dodged and ran into the building, Zeke's turret not seeing him or Heather as she stood right in front of it, placing a sapper and throwing knife after knife at Zeke until he ran away.

"They're coming!" Zeke shouted from the open area of the building. Heather came up from behind, decapitated him and kicked him into the gorge below. Then she fled before Duncan's long-range volley could reach her. Noah went unseen running along the catwalk on the far left of the Red's space parallele to he bridge. He hopped down and took an MVP-grade grenade out of his pocket, one Heather gave to him for forward tactics. It would build a level one turret instantly upon hitting a solid surface. He aimed as best as his un-athletic arm could measure and threw the grenade just behind Eva. Fate set its position to face Courtney and it built itself, firing upon her instantly.

"Gah!" Courtney shouted, getting hit over and over. Duncan rushed to the scene and blew it apart with a single grenade. Noah started pistol-sniping the medics behind Eva and caught her attention. She pulled out her shotgun and fired at him but he ducked away and fled down into the gorge. Izzy came sprinting out in the short interval where everyone was distracted, leaped over the soldier's rocket fire and used the force to land square in front of Eva with her ax brandished.

"BOO!" she shouted, mask raised on top of her head. She started hacking and chopping as fast as she could, barely moving Eva's health down with three healing streams on her. She wasn't trying to do damage, just distract her long enough for Owen to come charging out with his own soldier flanks. Justin broke out in fornt with a short hop, jumped up and fired all eight of his rockets once more, decimating Geoff and Sadie and injuring the rest of the medics. He floated in the air, his hair fluttering seductively and entrancing most of the people who saw him. Gwen and Owen combined their force and went uber just as they stepped on point. Eva was throw off her feet and into her medics, squishing two of them while DJ dodged to save his life.

The one-sided advance didn't end there, however. Backup came unexpectedly in the for of Harold disguised as Heather. He and she had a short brawl in the building where she killed Zeke, the outcome of which was determined apparently in his favor. Noah noticed Heather's unusual advance and opened fire but another Heather came from the bridge and pounced the fake with knives in hand to rip at the imposter's torso.

"But how!?" Harold demanded as his torso was slowly and painfully opened. "I killed you!"

"Fake death pill" Heather said "and revival pill. Use within four seconds of each other for the best results." Her explanation was not oddly contradictory to her vicious rending and tearing of her arms as she killed Harold. Courtney was defeated by a saw-wielding, invincible Gwen while Owen opened fire point-blank with his gatling gun on Eva and her remaining medics, slowly killing them all. Even though it was already lost, the subsequent victory looked just as pretty and domineering as the previous one. Tyler was revived just as his team lost the final point and was confusedly hacked to bits by psycho-killer Izzy. Duncan avoided the massacre in the final victory-marching moments by hiding inside his base but forgot that it was open to the public.

i.e., the Blues.

"""

"That match" Gwen said "went over waaay better than I thought it would. Plus, sawing people apart with a bone-saw feels...awesome!"

"""

"Duuuuude" Geoff said, "that was a harsh loss, man. I don't know if we can recover from something like that...but we will! We aren't quitters! Reds, number one!" He got up and started pumping his arms in time with his chants and continued long after the cameras cut.

"""

"Oh, wow!" Izzy exclaimed. "I had no idea that match would be that short! I barely got to use my super-awesome new tactics that I thought up in the last twenty seconds of the match at _all!_ Time sure flies when you're killing people, don't it?"

"""  
"Ever since the last round" Justin began "I feel like my looks have been failing me. I mean, I can barely hold on to what little authority I have left and all that power is coming from my chin. If I have to start using my abs or biceps or, heaven forbid, my butt to assert authority, I don't think our team will last!"

"""

"Oh yeah!" Leshawna cheered. "You hear that? That's the alarm! You better believe that the train is coming through!!! Get off the tracks unless you wanna take a trip on the express to pain and regret, ya'll! WHOO!!!"

"""

"I feel confident" Harold said "that my contributions in this match helped lend to the better points in our campaign. Not to say that all the good points of this match were my doing alone...although they did seem to play out that way now that I think about it."

"""

"Losers lose" Heather said, inspecting her nails. "That's just how it goes, unfortunately."

"""

"That was awesome!" Trent exclaimed. "This team is definitely going all the way, I can feel it. Me and Gwen, and Noah that genius, heck, everyone is pulling to victory!"

"""  
"I'm not too mad" Courtney said, despite the fact that she was holding a broken sniper rifle in her lap. "After all, the next match will decide the ultimate fate. Does the Blue team have enough endurance to last for a whole tie-breaking round when we win? I doubt it. No matter what map it's one I think Noah's out of strategies. It's a pity, too. I was really enjoying the challenge he brought us with his quick wit and deep planing. I guess each show can only have one brilliant mind, and when another comes along it's time for the first to vacate!"

"""

"Looks like another rough ride in store" Zeke said, "eh?"

"""

"So" Tyler began, "long story short, we made up! And out, dog! WOO! We're cool now, me and Linds. You might even say we've settled on a non-combat 'treaty', if you catch my drift! Heh-heh!"

"""  
"Tyler's soooo cool to me" Lindsay said. "Sometimes I think my team doesn't appreciate my assets. Tyler always listens to me and he appreciates me, he's not tyrannacle at all! He's sweet! Now I know how Jason and Briana feel all the time!"

"""

"We-he-he-heeeell!" Chris said with his hearty, ominous chuckling. "Looks like _someone_ owes _someone_ a little _something,_ eh?"

"""

"Two weeks pay" Chef said, flipping through his money. "Noah, I owe you, but not in money. You did good kid. We could've used a commander like you back in my army days. Fortunately, we had me, so I think we did alright."

"""

* * *

And so the score comes out at 3 to 2 with one map left! Will the Blues keep their train a runnin' or will the Reds stop them dead in their 'tracks'? Heh. See what I did there? Hilarious pun-age I have! Regardless to my bland humor, tune in next week to see the next MVPs and the unknown scene which will change the very game as it has been played for the last **50 CHAPTERS!!!** That's all next week here on

_Total.  
Drama.  
TEAM FORTRESS!!!_


	50. Lobby 10

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

A party was well under way as the celebratory Blue team threw their mugs full of virtual soda into the air. Leshawna and Trent sat at the central couch in the organized main sitting room formed in a semi-circle around the TV. Beth and Lindsay sat across the room from Cody and Justin who toasted each other.

"Nice job, guys" Trent said. "We kicked some serious Red butt out there today."

"We were a wrecking crew" Leshawna said "and the Red's base fell straight to the ground. Whoo! We got the power!"

"Yes we do" Justin agreed with a point and a wink. Leshawna winked right back with twice the force of flirtation. Cody returned the residual effect of her wink which hadn't hit Justin.

"We're such a good team" Lindsay said. "You know who I _really_ like, though?"

"Tyler?" Beth asked.

"Who?" Lindsay asked, experiencing a brief state of blank-mind. "Oh! Tyler! Yeah!"

"But he's on the enemy team" Justin said, taking a cool, beautiful sip from his glass of perfectly chilled iced tea.

"""

"Soda" Justin began "can cause a lot of problems if you're a model. Ever try to stay perfectly still when you're all hyped up on caffeine? Can you say 'static camera imaging'? Do you even know what that means? Those cameras pick up each and every tiny movement you make, no matter how inert it may be, and they show up on film as little blurry lines. I can't have any mars on my portfolio, especially not from a fizz, throat-hurting drink like soda."

"""

"I know" Lindsay said, unaware that Justin silently stared her down and plotted, "but he's so sweet and nice. He's like the perfect boyfriend for me. And, with him being on the enemy team, it makes me feel like girl from the play!"

"Juliet?" Cody said.

"Who?" Lindsay asked, another flash of blank mind. Trent just looked away to draw himself from the barrage of easily-shot down stupidity.

"So Trent" Justin began with a devious glint in his perfect eyes, "since we're on the subject, how are you and Gwen doing in the fights?"

"Well" Trent began "we have different needs so we mostly stay separate. I stay back, she moves forward with Owen. That's that. Besides, I don't really see anywhere in the war-zone where we can find time to be together, so waiting until we're here works perfectly for me."

"But she isn't here" Cody pointed out. "They all left with Owen to talk to Courtney."

"Apparently" Leshawna began "the terrain changed outside again. Now they're walking across a bunch of bridges and rocks to get to the Red base."

"Or somewhere in between" Beth mentioned.

"Feels a bit defenseless" Cody mentioned "not having our power-hitters around. What if the Reds avoid them and come to attack us?"

"Why would they do that?" Leshawna asked.

"To psych us out" Trent said "and throw us off our concentration for the next match."

"Then" Beth began, "shouldn't we plan an attack of our own?"

"No" Trent said. "They've got the better base, remember? They could mount a better defense on their home turf. If they come here we'll have the home-field advantage. Either way I think we should just stay put and wait for Noah to call in." Speak of the devil, the TV automatically flickered to life and Noah's face against a moving background of red rock ground came into view.

"My ears are burning" Noah said. "Who's talking about me?"

"Noah!" Trent exclaimed. "That was...really weird."

"I was waiting for someone to say that" Noah admitted "so I could freak them out. Gwen hid a mic on you, Trent. She's the mastermind behind it." Gwen popped in from out of frame and waved. "Anyway, we're almost to the meeting place. Don't worry about getting attacked. We've been walking for hours and haven't gotten there yet. There's no way the Reds would want to attack if they couldn't just appear there."

"Shoot" Leshawna said. "How's the big guy holding up?"

"I'm fine!" Owen shouted. Noah looked back as Owen crawled into view with a bulk of equipment strapped to his back with twine and cords. He panted heavily, then dropped to the ground on his gut with a painfully tired look on his face. "No, I'm not! I need water!" Izzy rushed over and fed his mouth from a bucket of fresh digital water. Gwen took the camera, which was held by a rod to record the travel and expressions of whoever held onto it.

"Hey guys" Gwen greeted.

"Can you see us too?" Justin asked.

"Yeah" Gwen said, "and Cody, you're drinking from _my_ glass again." Cody smiled nervously and hid her black mug adorned with white bats behind his back. "How's it going Trent?"

"Pretty good" Trent said "except I miss you. If the Reds start firing shots kill a couple for me, okay?" Gwen giggled into her hand and looked up longingly.

"Don't worry" she said. "Now that we have a super-Heavy, I think we'll be just fine."

"Hey!" Heather exclaimed from off screen, "tell them to stay away from my room!" Gwen moved to the side and blocked her chances at appearing in the actual video.

"We'll give you another call" Gwen said "when we're almost back, alright? Don't blow everything, or each other, up. I'm not there to heal you."

"Don't you worry, lovely" Justin said. "Everything here is totally under control. I'm taking care of it..." He went on to sip from his cup coolly while Trent and Cody gave him nasty glares. Gwen turned off the camera, leaving Justin with a sense of self-purchased purpose and victory in gaining favor in the eyes of his superiors. The others weren't amused.

"""

"He thinks" Trent fumed "just because he's so hot that he can get away with virtually anything. I'm gonna make sure he can't do anything to screw with the team, you can count on that. Noah's doing a great job so far, even with all the weirdos he has to deal with out in the battle."

"""

As Justin sipped another cup filled with strawberry juice flew at him and spilled a mix of runny ice tea and sticky strawberry all over his face.

"Ah!" he suddenly shouted. "This can't be good for my skin! I need a shower, STAT!" After his mini-breakdown he ran for his room while the rest of them giggled.

"Who threw that?" Leshawna asked. Lindsay raised her hand and then went on laughing and bending over herself.

"""

"Justin deserved that" Lindsay said. "I think he's been trying to get us to do stuff for him, like one time he told me to run 'distraction' during the match so he could jump in and save the day when I get cornered. I'm not a distraction, I'm a Scout, and my job is to run in and get the enemies attention while causing minor damage then exit and keep their fire and resources on me while my team comes in to take advantage of their surprise." Lindsay held up the brochure which she recited from and smiled. "See? That's totally different from being a distraction!"

"""

* * *

The Red team, obviously, didn't have the high spirits of the Blue team after their pitiful loss, but they had one thing to look forward to, and that was DJ.

"""

"Ah yeah!" Geoff said. "DJ totally deserves the MVP medal, man! We need a super-doc on that field, like, STAT! Heh. I always wanted to be a doctor when I was little. I ran around yelling 'STAT' all the time...like, 'I need punch, STAT!' or 'Someone tap this keg STAT!' Heheh!! Good times, man."

"""

Still, however the tension of civil rivalry held thick as Katie and Sadie quartered within their respective rooms and dared not to come out under the awkward chance of their heated meeting. The rest of the team, Zeke, Tyler, Bridgette and Geoff, simply floated around in the lower quarters, watching the many-screened TV screen and all the events that had unfolded during the match in the cinematic view that their audience would watch it in. Tyler was visibly uncomfortable as the taping neared its end, the final conquest of the Blues, for his own torrid affair with the Blue team's Juliet would be shown to his comrades.

"""

"Hey" Tyler said with an arrogant wave of his hand, "no sweat, man. I mean, come on, it's not like someone on this team hasn't been with an enemy team member at some point, I mean, as friends probably. Lindsay and I just have so much going on together, you know? And if anyone tries to put me on trial, I'll whip out my old one-two jab and school him on some manners, man! YEAH!"

"""

He shivered like a frightened dog, or a constipated one, with his thumbs twiddling themselves numb. Zeke picked up on his strange behavior, squirrely and nervous, but didn't make his own awareness aware. He just leaned into the space-age comfort of his seat and kept his hands in his pockets.

"""

"If I remember right" Zeke began, tapping his barely-hairy chin, "Tyler and one of the Blue girls had a little fling, eh? I never got to do that when I was on the show, though. Most of the girls hated me, eh, and for good reason I know."

"""

Bridgette and Geoff simply rested together, watching themselves and their team work, making minor tactical notes as the footage ran, most of it coming from Geoff. A shot of Heather killing Harold from behind prompted Geoff to improperly say the following:

"Dude," he began, pointing to the screen, "did you see that? Wicked! She's _way_ better at appearing out of nowhere than Harold is, oh-hoh!"

"She's the enemy" Bridgette said, reminding him.

"Yeah" Geoff agreed, not losing his cool-guy cover "but just look at her! She's got a lot more talent than Harold does!"

"Harold's got all the talent" Zeke defended. "Heather has the training."

"Training?" Bridgette asked.

"Don't you remember?" Zeke exclaimed. "She showed up to the match looking all weird and stuff right after she got her MVP. In fact, she and Izzy were dressed a lot alike. Izzy, who can easily beat Harold, trained her on how to kill him so she could take over for her, that way Izzy could be more of a front-line kinda gal."

"Really?" Geoff asked.

"Well" Bridgette bashfully began, "now that you mention it, it _is_ kind of obvious."

"How long did you know that?" Geoff asked.

"From the moment I saw them, eh" Zeke answered.

"Dude" Geoff urgently said, throwing Bridgette off his lap and becoming instantly, deeply serious, "what else did you notice?"

"I think" Zeke began, again nonchalantly, "Justin is trying to get Trent off his game by bringing up his relationship with Gwen, eh."

"You can't trust the pretty boys" Tyler said. "At least, not at Justin's level. Dude's definitely up to some nasty stuff behind scenes, man."

"Behind?" Zeke said. "It was on the episode we just watched, Justin trying to force his vote on Gwen by going through Trent!"

"Good eye!" Geoff praised. Bridgette and Zeke shared a nearly identical look, hands folded inside their hoodie pockets and brows promptly flattened over their rolling eyes.

"""

"Ah, Geoffy" Bridgette said dreamily, "so nice and sweet and...okay, admittedly simple, but you've got to admit his intentions are good. I don't know about his acting, per se, but he's a genius at boosting team morale. Even Zeke needs some cheering up and confirmation, although Courtney tends not to give it to him. I'd do it but...well, as a girl, it's hard to see past his sexism sometimes."

"""

Suddenly Tyler gasped. He saw himself on screen, a judgmental character, shaking down the innocent and hot Lindsay to straighten her mind. He could see the conflict in her eye and the bomb in her pocket, the one that killed him in the end, and he nearly slapped his own head at the private disgrace. He didn't need to, of course, because with Zeke's proud analytical eyes watching the screen his shame was uncovered and a wool cap came swiftly upon his head.

"Ow" Tyler lowed.

"Traitor!" Zeke accused, placing his hat back on before the dandruff floated too far away. "You've been bedding the enemy again!"

"He has?" Geoff said. At first he seemed mad, then he bowed and took his hat off. "Dude, way-to-GO! That is some first-class tail you're bagging!" He bumped fists with Tyler, who was extremely reluctant to do so, then floated away from the tiny impact, passing a red-hot, scornful Bridgette. "Uh, but first-class ain't the best! No one compares to your class, Bridge, a class reserved only for the truly worthy and um....uh..."

"Loyal?" Bridgette said, trying to keep him on track.

"Yeah, and loyal" Geoff said. He strained for words and knew he was defeated, and fortunately Bridgette was in tune enough with him that she knew just what to do. She kicked off the air and barreled her lips right into his, engaging him forcibly in a zero-gravity macking session which he enthusiastically obliged to.

"""

"Like I said" Bridgette said once more, "he can be simple, but he's also reliable, loyal, and above all the sweetest guy I know. He only wants the mood to be as high off the ground as he can get it, and as far as I'm concerned he's got a rocket-ship to take his friends to the moon morale-wise. Even if he blurts out stupid stuff, I know he doesn't mean it. It's all cool."

"""

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Izzy shouted from atop Owen's head.

"No" Noah said, greatly irked. "We're never getting there. Ever. Ever! No!"

"You sure?" Izzy asked as Owen trotted along, sipping from a straw system that led straight out of his back. "I'm pretty sure we're almost there. I can feel it in my ankle."

"Your ankle" Gwen skeptically started "gives you directions?"

"Naw" Izzy denied, "actually, it's more in my toes. I can point each of my toes in a different direction and I can write calligraphy with my feet! _THEY_ know where to go most of the time. Except this one time where they got me really lost and I ended up in an RCMP concentration camp with a bunch of old WWII deserters and some corrupt American Oil dudes or something. I don't know. It was a crazy 13th birthday!"

"At leas tthey led you back" Owen remarked cheerfully. Izzy patte dhim on the head with a rhythmic beat.

"Yeah! Thanks big-O!" she cheered. Noah rolled his eyes so hard he felt like they were about to fall out of his head. Then, from around the narrow pass his team walked in, a shadow emerged from around the corner.

"We're here" Noah said.

"I know!" Izzy exclaimed. "My toes tell me that!"

"Everyone grab a gun" Noah commanded. "This might get messy...but I emphasize **might.** Hold fire completely!" The MVPs took up their guns regardless. Heather and Izzy brandished their blades in an act of arrogant power, not needing bullets to kill or retaliate or defend with. Owen chose his new non-pump shotgun, Gwen went to her health-draining syringe gun and Noah got out his modified burst-fire pistol. He hugged the wall, his team following his motions, and edged closer to the coming shadows.

Meanwhile, as the Blues neared the meeting point, the Reds also made their way from the lifeless digital valleys and mesa-tops into the chasm. Courtney led the pack with her automatic out and her electric baton at her side. Duncan walked close behind her, switchblade constantly clacking and clicking, sheathing and unsheathing out of pure boredom. DJ was in the middle, holstering a sufficient amount of supplies on his back with a smile while Eva carried all the heavy stuff on her own. She even took a sip of water from a squeeze-bottle with one hand and steadied the load with the other.

Harold was in the back, minding his own business, watching the clouds pass overhead with his hands folded into the sleeves of his kimono robe. He took in a long breath to sigh with, wheezed it back out and then drew out his inhaler from a hidden area within his silken robe. Taking a long-sustained breath in with it he placed it back and smiled.

"What a wonderful day" Harold remarked. "See how the clouds pass so effortlessly overhead, ignoring out very existence? I wonder, what do clouds do in the heavens while we toil in our every day lives? Do they watch down on us with protective eyes and smile in their faceless forms, remarking at how beautiful we are, or do they fancy themselves to be higher beings, watching us go, planning our moves, ensuring our constant racing to catch up to them in the high skies, knowing forever that our fate is on the ground..." The light of the area suddenly went down and a spotlight was cast right on Harold. A breeze of cherry blossoms floated past him as he went to his knees in a pose of mock lament.

"Dude!" Duncan shouted, forcing the lights back up. "Shut the hell up!" Harold suddenly got back on his feet but snagged his robe on his heel and fell over backwards. "First of all, those aren't real clouds! They're just still images of clouds moving on another still image of the sky! It's a digital photographic image! Secondly, no one was listening to you, and they never are! Shut up and be useful by not braathing up all our air!!!"

"I think you're wrong" Harold argued. "My poems and prose won me the school title of 'Most Liturature Minded' at one point in my junior year for delivering every Shakespearean monologue in order of most to least stanzas. Secondly, I think someone _was _listening, right DJ?" Harold looked down the line at DJ, who looked up at the sky with tears in his eyes.

"Those poor clouds" he said with sobs forming in his voice. "What if...they're just lonely...?" He suddenly clutched his hands to his mouth to keep from bawling too loudly and stopped. Eva passed him, ignoring the whole thing, while Harold came up behind and patted him on the back.

"We are all lonely" Harold said. "It is the human way..." The love fest made Duncan gag, so he jogged down the slope to catch up to Courtney. She was pressed against the wall behind her with her gun ready to shoot from the hip, something obviously catching her attention. Duncan stopped Eva as well, who ducked down before marching over, and approached the cautious leader with whispers.

"Something up, warrior princess?" he asked. Courtney jerked her head to the side, a predetermined gesture that meant 'enemies around corner, prepare ambush'! Her team worked quickly and silently. DJ simply stayed in the back, syringe gun drawn only for show, while Harold took his place in front of Courtney as a first attacker. Duncan kept his switchblade at the ready, Eva poised her powered-up shotgun, and the whole team waited.

A silent wind blew through the thin crevices above, causing a shrieking whistle not unlike an eagle which dives into the lake for its evening meal. The clouds seamlessly moved along the projected sky, never changing aside from position in the infinite blue sky. The tension ran high as fate stretched the thin bands of either team's mortality in this pinching time. The lights all seemed to dim and each individual was cast into his or her own spot light, the center of their own world, thinking of their assault and feeling that exciting cold shiver race up their spine.

"""

"You ever get the feeling" Noah began "that something is about to go horribly wrong? Like some epic orchestral symphony is beginning a heart-moving song, but one of the trombone players looks really, really sick? Like...projectile vomit and-or trombone slide sick?"

"""

Suddenly, total darkness. The cast found themselves forcibly moved around by some spacial entities they could see or feel. They were all repositioned closer to each other, closer to something else, and the heaving dryness of the cliff air finally lifted.

"Gah!" Harold exclaimed. "Finally! I could barely breath with all that dust in the air."

"Will you shut up!?" Courtney demanded.

"Cram your cake hole!" Justin hissed.

"You better not blow our cover" Eva chided.

"My bad, my bad" Harold admitted.

"Hey, shh!" Heather proclaimed. "Wasn't that...is that Harold?" A moment of silence passed. The lights came back up just in the instant the weapons flashed in the darkness.

Noah aimed his pistol at Duncan's head, Courtney jabbed her automatic in to Noah's gut, Izzy slid in with her ax at Courtney's neck, Harold jumped forward with his sword down on Izzy's neck, Heather pointed her sword between Harold's glasses, Eva cocked her shotgun at Heather, Owen aimed his shotgun one-handed at Eva, DJ tried to be threatening by aiming his syringe gun at Owen and finally Gwen aimed her syringe gun at Courtney, point blank, not falling for pacifist DJ's bluff.

"""

"I can't help being predictable!" DJ said, beginning to cry over his failed bluff. "I just can't bring myself to want to hurt anyone. What's so wrong with that? When did being a good-natured, innocent guy turn me into some kinda pariah? Huh? MAMA! Where'd I go wrong!?"

"""

* * *

"Tut-tut-tut!" Chris politely chided as he came into view. The lights all suddenly lit up, most of them centering Chris in the middle of the photogenic face-off on an elevated stage. Both teams were reminded of the stage and its tunnel-like surroundings as the first MVP podium they encountered, where both Gwen and Eva earned their rightful power at the democratic hands of their team mates. No guns or blades moved, however, strictly out of the wild distrust the teams had for each other. "That's no way to pose for your poster shots!"

"Poster shots?" Heather asked.

"What" Courtney added, "like movie posters?"

"Not exactly" Chris said. He reached into his pocket with his trademark snide little snicker which perpetuated his shiny grin and pulled out a strange looking gun. It had a poorly-wired screen built onto it which Chris looked down at.

"Look out!" Heather shouted.

"We're going to die!" Harold shouted.

"It's just a bullet" Eva said. "Take it like a man!"

"But it's _Chris' _bullet!" Gwen shouted in panic. Chris poked the blue screen full of commands in front of him, which selected his type of ammo, and then aimed down at the ground around them.

"Damn" Noah cursed, lowering his gun. "That's a Gmod gun..." When the gun was fired a reality-distorting crash was heard and a mind-numbing rippling sensation shot through the contestants. They were being modded by the 'mod gun', Chris' weapon as a controller of this virtual world and the omni-powerful host of the reality of their virtual reality. Noah was the only one standing strong and steadfast against the assaulting waves of model change. Even Courtney was buckled onto her hands and knees, fighting back the urge to barf at the radical change she felt.

"What" she began, choking back vomit, "is a 'Gmod gun'?"

"He can do whatever he wants" Noah explained. "I'm just glad he only took away our guns."

"How quick-witted" Chris said, raising his gun up. The guns of the soldiers followed the barrel up and with a click of the trigger they were welded onto the high tunnel ceiling.

"How about 'astute'?" Noah suggested. "It conveys a more sarcastic tone in its brevity." Chris glared down at Noah, not saying a word on the subject he brought up, and selected a new mode for his mod-gun. This one was labeled 'sv_user model_shift'. Then he looked back and waited as the rest of them got up groaning loudly.

"This" Heather began, "is ridiculous! Why can't we get a single moment of peace on this stupid show!?" Noah saw the gears click in Chris' twisted mind as he aimed his gun with amazing speed and accuracy.

"Ah, crap" Noah said. Chris fired two shots, first at Noah and then at Heather, both perfectly dead-center in their heads.

"Ambush!" Courtney shouted.

"So?" Eva said, her arms crossed. "What can we do about it?" Courtney motioned to her shoulders, which made Eva remember her own shoulder and then shamefully realize how long it took her to get the hint. "Oh...right...well, at least he isn't doing that with us!" Chris then fired two more shots on Courtney and Eva. Now there were four bodies standing perfectly still, as if the gun had frozen them in time. Then, suddenly, the bodies moved and each one rubbed their heads.

"Wait a sec" Noah said, although his voice sounded all wrong. It sounded wrong, of course, coming out of **Heather's mouth.** Heather gasped as she realized she was in Noah and recoiled in horror.

"YOU!" she exclaimed, pointing to Noah in her own body. "Don't you dare do anything you'll regret to my body! I mean it! I'll sue!"

"Whatever" Noah said, crossing her arms. "Just don't run me into any sharp corners and I promise not to feel myself up."

"Ew..." Eva groaned, looking over herself. "I feel all...nerdy!" Of course she too had swapped bodies with Courtney. Courtney, in Eva's body, was moving about in woefully unsettled ways.

"Jeez, Eva!" she whined. "How much water did you drink!? You aren't a camel, you know, you'd have to go to the bathroom sometime! Why right now!?"

"Fix this!" Heather said with heavy undertones of threat. "I mean it! My lawyers are literally standing by their phones, at the ready. You're just giving me reason upon reason to call them!"

"Okay, chill!" Chris said, playfully defending himself. "I'll switch you back. I need you all to be in perfect, willing condition anyway when we unveil the motifs you'll be using for the big Top 5 MVP group pictures!"

"Nice!" Owen cheered.

"I call center shot!" Izzy shouted. "It's good luck to be in the center of the picture! Right?"

"Opposite" Gwen said. She also motioned to the stage like she had something to say, but Chris delayed her by resetting his commands and putting everyone back in their own bodies. "Why wait until just now to do this, Chris? Why not give us an appropriate warning or forward on this information. Why wait until we were all ready to kill each other out of pure paranoia to come out and tell us we've got a photo-op scheduled?"

"When have I ever given you a forward warning?" Chris asked. Gwen's point was shot down and plummeted straight to the ground where it cratered loudly around her. She sank back behind Owen, who allowed himself to be her shield. "Now the" Chris continued, "let's get ourselves ready! Each team has a chance to choose their own theme and get into the appropriate costume. The costumes are temporary but once you choose them your whole _team_ gets to wear them at their discretion during the matches. The styles range from casual wear which you came in with or class-appropriated equipment based on your class or more cinematic themse like mobster and samurai stuff are available. It's up to your leader to choose which look will suit the team the best, and at the end we'll get you guys into position for the big poster shot, which will pop up every once in a while to show which team is winning!"

"Where do we get dressed?" Courtney asked. "It better not be a co-ed locker room!"

"No" Chris denied. "Not _co-ed..._"

* * *

And so the teams were ushered digitally away into the musty, dank locker room with two different sides for changing. The lockers were all locked, awaiting the proper program code as written in the books of team fashion the leaders were given. Noah thumbed straight to the classic TF and TF2 garb, showing it to all his gathered team mates with his own withheld enthusiasm.

"""

"Finally" Noah began, "I can bring some relative sense to this game. At least by looking the part we can feel like we're playing the part appropriately."

"""

"No one's gonna take us seriously" Izzy began "wearing crap like _that_."

"Just try clearing that with Justin or Lindsay" Heather said with a scoff. "For that matter, try clearing that with _me._ I still refuse to wear that cheesy mask."

"You wear your scarf up" Izzy pointed out.

"That's different" Heather said.

"Very well" Noah said, turning the pages again, "how about casual? Or hipster?"

"I think not" Gwen immediately denied.

"There's swim-wear" Owen pointed.

"You really think you can keep your trunks on, big guy?" Noah asked. Owen shook his head as it drifted down. Izzy leaned over Noah's shoulder and stopped him on one page with dystopic, torn and tattered armor with a heavily morbid appearance. Her outfit carried a banner with a torched-black skeleton crucified on it, which was her only real concern.

"I like that!" Izzy said.

"Yeah" Noah said, throwing the pages forward, "you would." She huffed back angrily and waited for a page to come up that showed a consensus. "I think this would look good." The team gathered around. Noah's proposal picture got unanimous nods, an excellent plan. He tore out the page and walked it over to a slot in the wall labeled 'processing' where the code was read and the settings were digitally transferred into model changes. The lockers buzzed loudly and brightly for a few moments, then opened up with crisp fresh-pressed steam crawling across the floor. Noah picked out his suit from his locker, hung it over his shoulder and walked back around the tiled wall corner to change.

"Oh yeah" Izzy said, looking over her own change of clothes. "This'll work. This'll work...nice..." She cradled it and stroked it with her hands, heading back first. Heather and Gwen took their back and met shoulders nearly at the narrow entrance to the showers.

"Hey, Gwen" Heather began, "have you noticed someone on the team acting a bit suspicious?" Gwen squinted at her. "Not me...I think it might be Justin. I saw him talking to Trent, and trust me, I know those eyes. I _own_ those eyes. He's up to something. Just trying to keep you up to date with all the intellegent people!" Gwen kept her untrustworthy ally in the corner of her eye as she went in to change, but took her advice to mind.

"""

"Here's the thing" Gwen began, "there's no reason she'd tell me, or anyone, sensitive information without an alternative. So...what's her angle here?"

"""

In the Red locker room, things were run much more smoothly.

"We're doing Mafia style" Courtney said, tearing the page and throwing the book. "End of discussion."

"Woah, woah, wait a sec!" Duncan demanded, giving himself the floor. "I don't take that type-casting crap easily, okay? Most people think I'm either crazy or in a gang just from looking at me normally. What're they gonna think if they see me in a pin-stripe suit and fedora?"

"Oh" Courtney began, "your suit was pitch black, but with a Red tie."

"""

"Great" Duncan said, "now I'm gonna look like an undertaker...hmm..." He reclined and thought for a moment on just what bad side there was to killing in all business black and began smiling as he compiled the results. "Hmm. Actually, I think I like that idea."

"""

"I'm not wearing a skirt" Eva growled. "I refuse to compromise that with anyone, including you, miss garter-belt."

"I saw the picture for you" Courtney said. "No skirt. Those are special order, and I don't think anyone will want one anyway."

"Oh" Eva said. "Good." She crossed her arms, feeling victorious despite the actuality of how the conversation went down.

"I don't know about this" DJ said. "Isn't the Mafia a bad thing? I don't want my clothes to associate me with anything bad."

"Deal with it" Courtney said.

"Wait a second" Harold said, reaching out. "At least consider the Samurai wear! It's garunteed to look good on anyone, and it's bound to have lots of dragon patterns and floral prints." Harold seemed to win most of his team over, but Courtney had one point to shoot it down with: she had already processed the paper.

"Who wears silk" Eva said "to a battlefield?"

"It's not all silk" Harold said. "This is a silk-blend with synthetic cotton-fibers and a weave of delicately cared for horse-hair. This kimono is a master piece of-" Harold was silenced by the tossing of his suit and pants into his face.

"Get dressed, wienie" Duncan said, stepping over him while he breathed through his pants.

"""

"This bites" Harold complained. "Whatever. I'll just wear my kimono over my suit. They can't stop me, and besides, the yakuza, or Japanese Mafia, are still technically part of the mobster genre even if they wear traditional combative kimonos and yakuta robes. No one can stop me from doing that! NO ONE!!!"

"""

* * *

Chris flashed his watch, then pressed a button highlighted on his mod gun. The players were teleported back in front of him, fully suited up and in the same standing order he saw them in. Noah and Courtney took flat glances at each other and ignored the awkward tension in the air.

"I believe there's an idiom for this" Noah said with a grin. Courtney grinned right back, ready for his wit.

"Great minds think alike?" she said.

"That's what makes it an idiom" Noah replied with a tilt of his head.

"These pants are scratchy!" Izzy exclaimed, rubbing her legs together frantically. She resorted to using her nails, creasing and unfolding the delicate pin-stripe fabric of her suspender-pants. "It's driving me insane!"

"You can get _more_ insane!?" Gwen exclaimed. She immediately backed away and stood with Heather between her and the dog-scratching Mafioso Pyro. Heather quickly realized her position and became uncomfrotable watching Izzy rip and bite at her legs like a feral animal.

"Want some help?" Owen asked.

"Yeah" Izzy said, standing on her hands. "Keep my legs away from me, before I chew them off!" Owen grabbed her by the ankles and lifted her up, faceing out of course in case of insane retaliation. She hung quietly for a moment, then started twitching again in pain. "Argh! I can't take it! Curse my lethal-weapon abs!" She did an effortless upside-down push up and grabbed at her leg, gnawing away.

"""

"Now that's impressive!" Owen exclaimed. "I'm glad I got the girl who can bite her own butt, if you catch my drift! Heh-he!"

"""

"Can we get on with this?" Duncan asked in his villainous-looking, all black ensemble. His tie was bolted at his neck with a platinum skull ornament encrusted with ruby eyes, something obviously stolen or looted form a recent heist. "I feel like I should be filling in for Marilyn Manson right now."

"You _look_ like you should" Eva said, arms crossed tight. Duncan began making splashing sounds by blowing out of his cheeks which immediately effected Eva and caused her face to cringe.

"""

"Of course I didn't go!" Eva exclaimed, matter-of-factually. "What with miss tight-ass rushing us along I couldn't get near a toilet! And now she's blaming me for showing up late..."

"""

DJ had taken a liking to his suit more than he had thought. The Medics both got the same set up, the suit of a professional business man with an optional fedora, just like everyone else, but with an added stethoscope and a briefcase of medical supplies. Instead of a cutthroat DJ felt like a healer, a field-medic, a real doctor. The Heavies had suits hued more brown than black and team-colored bowties instead of regular ties. Eva's tie wasn't on, no one knew where it was... They also had a clip of ornamental bullets from different guns in the belt of their stiff fedora hats, signifying their career as hitmen/women.

The Spies wore suits without pinstripes, all black and sleek and finely pressed. The apparel of international men of mystery, uniquely designed digital cloaking watches with a variety of selection among the cloaking options, a hidden arsenal of various deadly weapons, an acid-squirting corsage on their lapel, and of course their signature blades strapped to their sides. The least stealthy part of their garb was the most obvious. Harold also wore his kimono on his shoulders with the sleeves billowing in the wind with the rest of the long garb like a cape. Twice now, however, it blew off and he had to gather it up again. He did so proudly, like it was worth it, which made Heather's eyes roll. Heather's dress was different in that she wore the optional skirt and sharply spiked heels, and a beautifully arranged hairstyle resembling a mysterious black bouquet of roses instead of a hat, pierced together with two of her throwing knives.

Izzy, who still scratched her legs raw through her flame-retardant pants, had the most varied of suits. It was all hewn together with space-age fabrics and threads to be one-hundred percent fireproof, allowing her to walk effortlessly through her own flames should she so choose. Even her tie was resistant to fire. She wore suspenders to keep the pants, too big for her, up and belted them tight as well. A myriad of buttons and other pieces of flair adorned the suspenders, most of them ironic 'fire safety' pins and badges which contradicted her pyromaniac tendencies. Her hair was let loose and untamed, though she had a vibrantly red scrunchie wrapped around her right wrist if she wanted to put her orange hair up. Her shoes were extensions of the fireproof skin-tight substance beneath her pants, wrapped up in white leather and tied up with laces to look like mime-colored tap shoes. The itchy part was the under-armor.

Both leaders wore their own custom garb. Courtney's suit was dark gray with white pinstripes running vertically from collar to cuff with a pure black shirt underneath, black snake-skin belt to ankle and white alligator shoes threatening the ground they tread upon,. She wore a coat lavishly lined with fur, dark-brown bear fur that is, in the same manner as Harold, only hers stayed on out of rank and charisma. She opted out of the traditional fedora for a more contemporary and useful hat, a sniper's wide-brim savanah-beige hat with a picture strapped into the band of her and Duncan.

"""

"Sappy, isn't it?" Courtney asked with a sweet tilt of her head. "I know, but it's still just sweet. A little reminder that even though I can be sweet to some people, I'm a killer first and a lover second!"

"""

Noah's suit was a bit different, contrasting her darks with lights. His suit was more off-white with light-blue pinstripes, a white dickey and navy-blue tie tucked down. His shoes were authentic, brown Italian leather, at least digitally, and his pure-white fedora rang with a cheap effect of sainthood. It made his skin look even darker than normal. His coat was a button-down trench coat of dark, died blue on its canvas fabric. It was reminiscent of the very style of coat worn by Humphrey Bogart in the old movies, a nod back to the classical gangster which Noah seemed to admire more than he let on...

"Okay" Chris announced, "can we get a move on? The photographer isn't getting paid by the hour, and he's gonna figure that out soon. Come on! Get up on stage and get into position!"

"Right now?" COUrtney asked. "But...but we haven't strategized that yet!"

"Leave it to me" Harold said. "I took a summer session for my photography elective. I know how to get lighting, bloom effects, half-frames-"

"Great" Courtney said. "Shut up and do it!"

"Alright!" Harold shouted, taking command, "move according to my exact commands!"

"Don't worry" Noah said, turning back to his team. "I've got a pretty good idea. Izzy, can you stay still for a second?"

"Oh, sure!" Izzy said. "The voices calmed me down. They said they'd take care of the itching later."

"Super" Noah said, ignoring the obvious wrongness of her quip. "Owen, can you hold someone up?"

"Easily" Owen said. "I held Izzy up the whole time you were getting your clothes described."

"How about Gwen?" Noah asked.

"Me?" Gwen asked in confusion. "Why me?"

"Heavy-Medic team" Noah simply said. "Heather, you seem to be a professionally photogenic person. Find a place."

"I most certainly will" Heather said.

"I'm in center-front" Noah called. "Leader's privilege."

Chris stood behind the camera, which floated around and moved with each sudden jerk of the mouse in whoever's hand that controlled it. Obviously it was a professional, trying to get the very best picture possible to make each team's spread look as good as it could. In truth, it was Chef just aiming at whoever's head he hated the most in each shot.

"I hate this job" Chef said, leaning back in his swivel chair in the real world.

"Perfect!" Chris exclaimed. "Cap it!"

"Whatever" Chef said with a roll of his eyes. "That guy's getting way too into this. Just one match left, then where's he gonna go?" Chef clicked and captured the awesomeness for eternity.

* * *

The Blue team posed as thus. Noah sat on a chair, center stage, chin leaned on hand, elbow on his leg, hat brim cocked just above his glaring eyes. No one would smile, that's how a mafia picture should look. His coat was on the back of his chair, draped down like a cape hung up to dry. Heather stood at his right, looking as elegant and dapper as she could with her hips cocked and leaning on her sword like a cane. Izzy didn't care for group dynamics, accentuating her craziness by holding her ax over her shoulder in a low, animal crouch at Noah's immediate left. Owen stood behind, one hand balled up as a fist at his hip and the other pumped up, holding Gwen who played from her bone-saw like a violin with an actual violin bow and a sad expression.

A subtitle written in flourishing cursive read, in white with a dim blue outline, 'An Anthem for the the Lost', meaning a sad song for the losers, obviously.

The Red team posed in an antithesis to the Blues. Courtney had her chair down on its back, foot up on the front edge of the seat and looking down from her nose. She stood tall, pressing down on the chair and lifting herself up, arching her back and wearing a menacing smile to eliminate the hope in her enemies. Duncan just looked somber and grim behind her, his suit amplifying the shadows around him and making his skin seem even more flushed than usual. He hid one hand in his pocket and had his knife in mid-switch motion. Harold stood in the far-right background with his back turned, arms crossed and face turned with a serious glare, his kimono billowing off his back like a cape and his sword scabbard plainly exposed. DJ was at Courtney's left, examining his stethoscope on a knee from his bag overflowing with dangerous tools. He looked up at the camera as if he were busy and the photo was just an unwanted burden. Eva, of course, filled the background and stood against the light, shadows covering her muscular form, two glowering eyes shining through the shade. Her shoulders were rolled forward and her arms were fully flexed.

The subtitle, written in plain typewriter style with blotchy serif letters, read 'No Mercy for the Weak; No Rest for the Strong'. Then, underneath was another subtitle, a sub-subtitle in plain Ariel print, reading 'We don't need rest anyway...', an arrogant end to a powerful quote.

Those were the posters, elegant Blue and domineering Red. Now, ask yourself, which one would _you_ buy?

Find out what map, what rules, what twists and merciless plot-sensitive information will be revealed next time on _**TOTAL.  
DRAMA.**_

_**TEAM FORTRESS!!!**_

**The Final Battle!!!**


	51. 2Fort 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

It was business as usual. The teams were all loaded up to fight in the respective spawn points. In 2Fort, there are multiple spawning points for each base. The main objective is not to capture a point but an objective, a briefcase containing some unknown intel. For the purposes of the game as proposed by Noah and notarized by Courtney, the briefcases now contain one encrypted document to be process in each team's base. Once decoded, the document will reveal a horrific and humiliating fact about one random person on the team the document was stolen from. Eleven captures over one match will win the game, a best of 22 beat-all endgame!

The stage was set. The time: early dawn. The sun was still rising over the digital horizon. For the sake of efficiency in the name of the production staff for the show, the contestants were told they had until sunset to win the game or the team with the most accumulated points thus far (which is Blue) will win. This gave the Reds the incentive to fight, but to prevent the Blues from getting a single point and holing up for the rest of the day they were threatened to win under the circumstances of all their info being decoded and leaked.

So the battle was ready to begin. The teams waited eagerly to explode from their gates, communicating constantly in the squads they had been divided into before the game even started. At the ramparts of the Blue base, the spawn point leading straight to either the battlements of the enclosed elevated area which led to either intel entrance was Gwen, Justin, Heather, Lindsay and Cody. Down in the intel area, a story or so beneath the ground, was Noah and Owen. Up in the spawn point leading straight out into the battlements or down into the ground-floor halls was Trent, Leshawna, Beth and Izzy. Everyone wore their spiffy Mafia garb, the boys wearing suits and Justin in a sporty pair of suspender pants with a beaten work shirt tightly clinging to his chest. Beth and Lindsay wore the traditional trophy-wife garb along with Heather, though Leshawna arguably wore it the best.

"""

"Ahh, 2Fort" Noah sighed nostalgically. "I remember when I was a noob, trying to master this map in only one match. And I did."

"""

"We need to go out sprinting" Noah said. "I'm going down to the intel room to set up a defense grid. Cody, you build a sentry overlooking the enclosed area ASAP and keep a sharp eye out for spies."

"Will do" Cody said.

"Gwen" Noah continued, "meet up with Owen at the entrance to the sewers. I hope you can both swim."

"I can't" Owen said. Noah sighed and disconnected his radio for a moment.

"""

"Remember the first episode, people!?" Owen shouted, defending his case. "Oh, sure, 'fat floats', well sharks can swim better than me, and that's all I need to know to not get in the water!

"""

"This isn't the real world" Noah said. "You _can_ swim here. It's a basic part of the program we're all running on. Just think you can, and you can, alright?" Noah's words, while flatly spoken, touched Owen to the point where he nearly cried. He sniffed it back, however, and gave a soldierly salute. Noah reconnected and continued his instructions. "Trent, you do what you do best on the battlements. Don't worry about survivability. I've already fixed it to allocate you to either of the two spawn points up top if you die, so you won't wind up all the way down here by accident. Leshawna, I want you to pick a place that looks like it needs guarding and guard it. Make sure no one comes through it unless they can be trusted."

"You got it, chief" Leshawna said.

"Lindsay is our scout" Noah said "therefore she is our runner. I'm going to use the mechanics for my teleporters to rebuild her Mercury shoes so she can go as fast as she needs. I'll also instal a short-range teleportation device in them so with a click of the heels you'll be able to disappear and reappear a good distance ahead."

"Okay" Lindsay said, unsure if she understood it all or not.

"""

"One time" Lindsay began in reminiscence, "I accidentally clicked my heels together and broke the shoes. Then, in the same day, my science teacher flunked me on a test because I was late for class because I was busy repairing my shoes! I mean, come on! Sometimes there are more imporatnt things than science, Mr. Teacher!"

"""

"This is all that's important, Lindsay" Noah said "is that you don't face a hard surface, like a wall, when you click your heels together."

"Oh!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Okay, I gotcha! I won't have to go through the sewers though, will I?"

"Not unless you have to" Noah said. "I've also made your shoes savvy to the rest of your clothes, so they won't clash or...whatever."

"EEEEEE!!!!" Lindsay squealed, crackling static through the radio waves. "Oh, thank you Noah! I don't think my running would be as fast if my shoes didn't match!"

"It is pretty important" Gwen said sympathetically. She then turned to Beth and shrugged. Beth shrugged back. She didn't entirely understand either.

"Soldiers" Noah began once more, "take guard positions with whomever you wish. If you want to try and nab the intel I will leave it up to you. You're free of my immediate command unless I request emergency assistance."

"Roger there, big guy" Justin said, flipping his fedora with a handsome, charming snap of his fingers only to have it land back on his head. He winked with a sparkling grin at the camera, which became fixed on him for a moment, then reverted to its normal mode as Noah continued.

"Heather" Noah began. There was a short silence. All that was said was her name. She stayed at attention, then looked around, curious about her orders. "Oh, I thought you'd know what to say here. I'll give you a hint: it's something haughty and proud."

"Don't worry" Heather began, haughty and arrogant, "I'll keep myself available and save your sorry hides when you cry for help."

"Fair enough" Noah said, expecting something a bit more biting to the prid of everyone else. "Finally...Izzy. You're on offense. You're the most offensive offender we have right now. I want you to go into their base and kill everything that moves, your team or not, and stay there for as long as you can without dying. When you die I want you to go back and continue killing things, even cows. Make burgers out of them, no, medium-rare steaks."

"Aye aye..." Izzy growled. She took out her ax, held it in her off hand, and lowered her hockey-mask over her growling, murderous face with her right hand. "It's killing time!!!" Noah looked at his digital wristwatch down below to confirm.

"Why yes" Noah said. "Yes it is..."

* * *

Meanwhile, the Red prepared for their assault in their own pronounced way. Courtney was down in the bottom room, along with a begrudged Sadie and Katie wearing identical evening gowns and hairstyles and the tall and wide Eva who had taken to smoking cigars. Duncan, Bridgette, DJ, Zeke and Tyler spawned in the upstairs spawn room while the lonely Geoff was the only one to spawn at the battlements.

"""

"Just before the match started" Courtney sweetly began "I went over my plan with my team just so I could make extra-sure that everyone knew where to go and what to do. Heaven forbid they have any trouble following my directions."

"""

"This should be easy" Courtney began sternly "but just in case someone screws this plan up I'm going to tell everyone what they should do. Ahem...Katie and Eva, head out together and charge their base. Eva, make sure you occupy Owen as much as possible. Sadie and DJ, meet up up top and guard the bridge."

"Wait a sec" Eva began. "Shouldn't I get DJ now that he's a super medic? They'll have the super combo out there. If I don't have one I'll be at a disadvantage."

"True" Courtney admitted. She rubbed her chin with her thumb and tried to think of a way to solve the conflict, and in doing so she solved multiple conflicts at once. "Alright then, DJ and Eva will meet up at the ground entrance to guard the bridge, Sadie and-"

"WAAAAAHHH!!!!" Geoff bellowed. "Sorry guys...I...It's really lonely in here. All by myself....alone. I feel like I'm missing you guys..."

"Cry about it!" Duncan shouted.

"""

"Seriously!" Duncan angrily defended. "You do **not** want to have to put up with this guy like I do! It's always some mushy-whiny crap with him about his woman. 'Bridgette' this, 'Bridge' that. Dammit, man, you just saw her twelve minutes ago! What's wrong with him? Me and Courtney aren't that clingy. People can barely tell we're a couple sometimes...I blame her though."

"""

"Sadie" Courtney slyly began "and Katie will guard the bridge from above. Geoff and Bridgette, ASAP, will meet up and guard the sewers." Geoff gasped with glee and Bridgette expressed her happiness with an awkward smile, anticipating his reaction. Courtney silenced his microphone just before the party-boy cry sounded out into the base. Even muted, Geoff's happy scream was still able to pierce the ears of everyone with its impressive tenor. Sadie and Katie shamefully dodged eye contact with one another as Courtney went on with her strategy.

"We may not have the best defense" Courtney said "but at least we have what we've got. Zeke will build a turret, preferably on the desk where the intel is, and Duncan will plant a few proximity mines just in case. After that he can use his mortar to raid the enemy base from as far away as he pleases."

"Sweet" Duncan said. "Harold will engage Izzy, who will undoubtedly be coming in here with her gun blazing, literally, so the rest of us don't have to worry about her."

"Got it" Harold said, pulling the shoulders of his silky kimono up onto his broad, fashionable yet slender and small shelf that he called his shoulders. He pulled the scabbard of his sword up over his back and held it out in front of his face, slowly pulling the Red-lace wrapped handle out from the red-floral patterned scabbard. "With this blade, I shall forge a path of honor and integrity, and reclaim the pride and manhood which Izzy has long ago stolen from me." Duncan snickered.

"""

"There's nothing funny" Harold protested "about your manhood being stolen by a super-crazy pyro chick with an ax! If anything, that's something to brag about if you survive!"

"""

"Yeah cool whatever" Courtney quickly said. "Tyler, obviously, you're our intel man. Go pick their up and get it back here. If anyone wants to give him some back up, I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"Oh...uh" Tyler began nervously, "uh, yeah, don't worry about it, right? I can do it on my own, right? I ain't a kid or nothing. Shoot, I'll go down there and flank circles around their sentries and beat them to bits, dude! Yeah!"

"You sure?" Duncan asked. "I'd be more than willing to charge in with you if it meant I got to go guns blazing."

"""

"I knew this would happen" Tyler said. "No one told Courtney or the MVPs that I'm secretly trying to hook up with Lindsay during the matches. I think they want me to sweat it out on my own. If Duncan finds out, he'll tell Courtney. If Eva finds out she'll kill me!...and tell Courtney. I'm screwed coming and going here, dude, but I'm gonna make the best of it. Courtney can't be everywhere all the time!"

"""

"Uh, no!" Tyler denied quickly. "You've...got too much of an important job to give up at base. I couldn't take you away from that!" Tyler was getting shifty, an uncomfortable kind of shifty. Where his behaviors only accentuated his suspicious aura. Duncan was the only one to pick up on it thus far.

"I'm coming up" Courtney said "so I can snipe them off. I'll most likely be in battle with Trent most of the time, but if I can I'll help out anyone else in the field who needs it."

"Great plan" Zeke said with a thumb up, unaware it couldn't be seen. His was the only suit that allowed him to wear a non-regulation hat. His was a mining hat, for reasons he himself was unaware of, with a light that never turned on. It was more of a sticker, in fact, than a light.

"Why thank you" Courtney said in a dainty little voice. Then, almost suddenly, she changed it to her rough and dominating commander's voice. "Now let's move out, people! I will **not** let them make a **fool **of me, or anyone else here, **while I'm in charge!!!**"

"""  
"I've got to admit" Eva began, "listening to Courtney shout like that makes me ready for battle! It gets me pumped up! She should be a fitness coach. There wouldn't be a fatty in sight as long as she was doing her job."

"""

Three seconds to start. The air grew stagnant with silence. All was peaceful in the weak morning light outside. The streaking shadows went across the bridge, the only haven for the souls to cross the river without drowning, and made the entire warring scene look almost serene. Zero seconds to start.

Time for blood.

* * *

"CHAAAAAAARGE!!!!" Courtney roared as she burst out of the gate with Eva close behind towing her gatling gun and the girls staying in place, trying to form words of reconciliation. At least, Katie was trying...

"FORWARD!!!" Noah commanded as he began running, only to take a relaxed turn to the right and walk calmly into the intel room. He flipped a pair of goggles down from his hat and took out a console pad full of buttons and other commanding instruments for building an amazing turret cannon. Owen was running, all full of pep and energy, with his gatling gun propped up in front.

"RAAAAAGH!!!" Owen shouted. The rest of his team was practically already in position. Heather was cloaked and headed for the front doors, prepared with whatever disguise would best suit her needs. Izzy ran full blast from up above and stood on the bridge, waiting with her super-pressure flamethrower in her arms. The soldiers up top, Sadie on the Red side and Beth on the Blue side, both started firing at each other, welcoming flares for the main event on the battlements.

Immediately after the first rockets connected and the offending soldiers ducked away the snipers came rushing out. Courtney made a shot for Beth and hit her arm, with the charge nearly killing her. Trent charged out from the opposite side of the battlements, from the direct door, and took a knee to snipe at Courtney. She ducked into the small room for cover and started blind-firing her automatic (now a Tommy gun) in Trent's general direction. The whizzing of bullets going past his ear was getting annoying so he ducked into cover as well and attempted to snipe out her hands.

While Beth healed herself Sadie was assisting Courtney with Katie far, far behind, healing at the maximum length of her medi-gun stream. Trent had to keep himself in cover from the rocket fire. His fedora was blown off from the explosion and floated down into the river where Tyler went blazing past. He swam up to the sewer entrance into Blue territory and began sprinting hard through the tunnels that led into the bases underground. Meanwhile, up at the doorway to the actual sewers on ground level, Gwen looked to and fro waiting for Owen while Leshawna blocked off the only hall leading to the open area Cody was guarding, planting all her sticky mines in the open with a grin.

"Where's Owen?" Gwen asked.

"You know him, girl" Leshawna said. "It'll take him a while to get up here. Maybe you should face the other way while you wait."

"Yeah" Gwen said, equipping her syringe gun. "Good idea." Gwen turned around and just barely caught sight of Tyler, who saw her and ducked back downstairs in an instant.

"Oh crap!" Tyler exclaimed. "If she's here, that must mean Owen's with her!" On the contrary! Just now arriving from the spiraling square flight after flight of steps was Owen who found his only passage downstairs blocked by Cody's shiny new turret.

"Raaaaagghh!!!" Owen tiredly roared. He walked forward, dragging his gun behind him, and panted. "Hey Code? Can you lift that thing up so I can get past you?"

"Uhh..." Cody groaned, "sorry dude. I just built it."

"Awh, Cheese on a Cracker!" Owen groaned. He then resumed panting and left for the stairs. "Now I gotta go the other way around!" Cody blinked in confusion. He looked across the open, boxed in field that his sentry watched over and saw the long, straight staircase that led down to 'Information'. Then he looked across the room he was in and saw a door which led to a hole which dropped down exactly where he needed to be. Cody realized the mistake his team mate was making and decided to chase after him.

On the battlements the fight was going well. It had turned in an opportunistic direction with Trent taking the upper hand in his duel. With each shot he took he rolled as he reloaded to guarantee that he was in a different place each time. Courtney was tracking him but the erratic speed he rolled and maneuvered with was difficult to track, even for her.

"Hold still, damn it!" she shouted across the battlefield. She unloaded five consecutive bullets all along the cover and waited. Then Trent leaned out, outside of the cover shack, and shot her hat off. She gasped and covered her head, trying to catch the loose hat, but now it was useless. The perfect, smoking hole in it devalued it many times over. She snarled at that fact and found Trent's cocky grin in her scope.

She anticipated his movement as he ducked back into cover and fired through the thin metal plating. Her hit connected, dealing major damage, so she fired several more until her clip was empty. Trent was dead and full of holes. Courtney huffed in victory. "What, is that it?" Courtney was so wrapped up in her victory that she missed the whooshing sound of a rocket as it critical-hit her in the face. Now she has no face left.

"Yes!" Beth exclaimed. "Perfect hit!" Beth reengaged Sadie in their private volley while the snipers were dead and was joined on the opposite side by Justin who fired at the wall behind Sadie to propel her forward. Sadie ran back into the room, past Katie, and got a full heal from the supplies.

"Darn it!" Sadie said to herself. Katie walked into the locker room to try and coax some conversation, maybe even reconciliation, out of her former BFF. "That stupid stick! Why won't she just **move!?**" Katie gasped and retreated from the room. Had there not been a war going on she would have run straight home to bury her face in her pillow and soak it with tears. "That darn Izzy, distracting me. Why won't she just die!?" Of course Katie didn't hear that...

* * *

The blood-hungry glare under that bone-white mask still burned with the same ferocity and murder that it did when it was first kicked up from the embers of her manic heart. She licked her lips, tasting the orange of her lipstick, then licked them again because it tasted so yummy. Finally her glinting eyes all full of animosity and raw, unbound power caught the sight of an invisible man.

"How's it going" she growled to the air before her, "**Harry???**" Harold decloaked and stood before her, resonating with manliness in ways he never had before. His blade was already out and once the smoke cleared from him he pointed it up at her and took one step forward, now officially on the bridge from one world to the next.

"""

"When you stare down destiny" Harold began "you feel really queezy for some reason. I think it's because your guts either know that they're going to be burst out of your stomach or you know you'll get sick from celebrating. I really hope it's neither. When I get nauseous it takes a really long time for it to go away."

"""

"Izzy" Harold began, "I suppose this will be our last series of non-consecutive and somewhat non-sequitor fights. I hope you are prepared to enter the after life..." Harold spun his sword around with ninja skill and impressive accuracy, taking two sliding steps forward before setting up his fighting pose before the crazed pyro with a glare shooting forth from both eyes. "...because that is where I will deliver you!"

"Jeez" Izzy said, tilting her head and body away with her rolling eyes. "Don't be such a drama queen, Harry. I just asked how things are. You could say 'peachy' or 'swell' or um...uh...what's another one?" Harold almost couldn't help it. He was feeling just confident enough that he could get away with it.

"Everything's **hot** with me!" Harold said.

"Yes!" Izzy shouted, aiming at him. "Yes, it is!!!" She fired a wide burst at Harold. He leaped over her and her fire, preparing for a stellar back-slash. He almost decapitated her with the swing, but her ridiculous military-honed reflexes forbid it. She ducked under the swing, threw her head back and allowed her body to follow it. She stood on her toes only while her fiery hair hit the floor of the bridge she stood on. Her gun was aimed up, at least in her orientation, but Harold stared down the nozzle. He backed away, spun his sword around to build momentum, and prepared to block the stream of fire itself. Izzy shot and Harold sliced the fire in half. The stream was constantly divided and belched out the sides of the bridge where Tyler was passing by to meet up with reinforcements.

"That's awesome" he awed. A blur of motion passed by him, even as he floated in the water. He felt like he was an inch away from six-inch heels, nearly losing his nose to some rushing girl. Then the wafting scent of some beautiful dame met his nostrils and he was sure that that's exactly what had happened. "Linds?" he asked, looking in his base's direction. Lindsay was rushing at super-sonic speed through the corridors, evading even the eyes of the vigilant Courtney. All while she ran she only ever tapped the surface of the water, never breaking the fragile bond of molecules that rippled and waved at even the softest touch.

"""

"Proven science" Cody began. "A Basilisk lizard can run on water because of the surface area of its feet and the width of its webbing. It creates a minimal impact to keep from completely breaking the water while still staying atop it, being able to run across. I guess, even though Lindsay's heels reduce the surface area of her feet, her speed more than makes up for it by moving too quick for the water tension to break...and I guess that's science being proven in action!"

"""

Tyler swam after her, giving chase to his girl friend, ignoring the fiery battle going on above. Harold held out for as long as he could, just in time for Izzy's gun to run out. Izzy threw her gun into the air, kicked her legs in a twirling motion and rose back up to face Harold with her ax drawn and clutched tightly at her side. She leaned in with her shoulder and then jerked it back, whipping herself around to kick her spent gun at Harold who promptly chopped it in half. His sword went back up to block Izzy's flying ax-chop, his skinny body braced against her force as she pushed her ax into his sword, and the true battle was on. Heather passed by it, running on the roof of the bridge invisibly, so she could sneak in from the top.

"Piece of cake" Heather said. She jumped from roof to ledge and stabbed her sword into the ground she sought to invade. Then her head blew open. Courtney had leaned out from her cover and blasted a hole through her to try and shoot Trent across the field. Courtney was at a total loss for words. She just had no way of describing the excitement for this amazingly lucky shot.

"""

"I think" Courtney confidently began "we're all going to be just fine. Well, my team, all of them. Noah's team is dead."

"""

Meanwhile, apart from all the action, Gwen stood behind Owen not watching him as he drank from the shallow pond of sewer water all around him between long and needy breaths.

"Oh, sweet water!" Owen shouted before taking a long gulp. "LIFE JUICE!!!"

"Oh my god!" Gwen groaned as she covered her mouth. "Owen, come on! We need to keep going!"

"Just a second" Owen said. "This water tastes kinda funny. I think I'm detecting...lemon?" Gwen gagged. "No wait...ham!" Now Gwen outright vomitted.

* * *

The final fight is at hand! The super-sonic Lindsay has already penetrated the Red defense while an epic showdown evolves on the bridge! Gwen and Owen continue to push (sort of) while the snipers fight up above. And what about the defense? How has Noah fared on his own thus far? Find out as the action develops next week in this stunning, awesome battle here on _Total.  
Drama!  
Team Fortress!!!_


	52. 2Fort 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Noah, with a sandwich in mouth and goggles over his eyes, monitored the automated building and self-repair of his super-turret massacre system.

"""

"I call it 'the Noah-nator' system" he said. "A bit arrogant...but it works."

"""

Four turrets suspended from the ceiling, all somewhere between levels one and two, with one gatling cannon each. One in the corner opposite the intel, one directly over the intel, and two occupying the remaining corners. They were all linked by a series of interconnected wires and thick, plated tubes that all came back to a dispenser system that he had built up on the ceiling. It was all perfect. Anyone coming in would go out in bullion chunks. Noah ripped at the sandwich and began devouring it with a smug grin on his face. A few final beeps and a clear glass window opened up in the corner opposite the intel. He walked in, sealed the door, and found a chair to sit at.

"And now" Noah said, cracking his knuckles and disrobing his outer jacket, "it's time for some...**Hax.**" His fingers began blazing on the keyboard. Soon enough he was through and was watching the amazing battles from the bird's eye angle of the cinematic camera system. He smiled once more, materialized a toothpick from one of his pockets, and placed it in his teeth. "Let's see how Gwen and Owen are holding up..."

Owen had finally stopped blowing chunks and was well on his way out of the sewer tunnels. Having to stay behind him, Gwen was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the fact that she had just watched Owen consume the questionable former food matter of what was hopefully not other people...it was truly a sickening sight.

"""  
"If there were a merciful God" Gwen began in a rageful tangent "he would have made it so all people were born with holes in their head so we could pour bleach onto our brains and erase whatever terrible, nightmarish memories we didn't want. I guess that means I'm gonna have to live with that torture for the rest of my life...My long, sleepless life..."

"""

"Oh boy" Owen said, stopping suddenly at the open pipe. Gwen stopped behind him and shook her head to quicker adjust to the light.

"What?" she asked.

"First obstacle" Owen said, looking down at the water.

"There aren't any sharks, Owen" Gwen said. Suddenly, Tyler came from the other pipe with his scattergun armed and an angry glare aimed at both Owen and Gwen.

"I couldn't catch up to Lindsay" Tyler lowed "but I can still take this bozo out! I'm a lot faster that he is!" Tyler began running, nearly across the water, and dove in, swimming wide circles in the water. He once his hit head against one of the beams supporting the bridge, but kept swimming after and shot his scattergun from above the surface of the water. Owen didn't want to waste his more valuable gatling gun ammo, so he switched to his pumped up shotgun and started returning fire while Gwen healed him from behind.

"Backup!" Tyler radioed with a gargled slur in his voice.

"Where are you?" Duncan replied. "In the water?"

"Owen's shooting at me!" Tyler explained. From up on the battlements the punk-haired heel leaned out and fired a direct mortar round into the water.

"I just gave you a grenade" Duncan said. "Give it a good throw behind Owen and you can hit Gwen. Take her out first, alright?"

"Got it" Tyler said. He saw the bobbing red missile, round and destructive, and swam for it. Simultaneously, Noah's toothpick fell from his gaping, disbelieving mouth.

"No way" Noah said. He got his entire team on the radio and relayed the basic decryption of the numbers, symbols and lines of data that had just clouded his screen. "Team, I've got some bad news. Chris has officially entered the game. Stay out of the water, repeat, stay out of the water!" Unfortunately, while most of his team was able to hear and understand the message either in purgatory or in the dull of their own battles, Owen and Gwen missed it in the midst of their rapid gunfire. Izzy missed it too, only because she discarded her earpiece long ago to give herself the advantage of silence over her witty opponent.

"What'd he say?" Owen asked. Gwen just shrugged. She wasn't listening when the warning went out. Tyler swam up at a rapid pace, holding the grenade over his head, and prepared for his desperate attack. Just before he got close enough to accurately throw a shark came up and swallowed him.

"Oh man" he said with an incredibly shaky, cracking voice.

"""

"That wasn't cool, dude!" Tyler raged into the camera. "Where do sharks fit into a war!? It's bull, dude!"

"""

Noah clacked away at his keyboard, passing system after system, until he finally found something worth his while. The team chat program that allowed him to communicate seamlessly with all his team mates at once, and the blocks that were placed within it. He simply deleted one of those blocks and set his piece to a private channel.

"Courtney" Noah radioed. She picked him up, surprisingly, and leaned against the metal wall of her shack cover. Trent was back now and her battle was just beginning again.

"Noah?" she answered curiously. "I'm not too surprised by this, you know. What do you want?"

"The water's been modded" Noah said.

"Great" Courtney sighed in exasperation. "With what? Caustic acid? Weapon-locking adhesives? Some kind of stupid chemicals?" When Noah provided her a reply of only silence, she sank down with a defeated flat look upon her face and sighed out the only remaining illogical logic that the show could produce. "Sharks?"

"Fans like them" Noah said with a shrug. "Maybe you should tell your team before Tyler gets back."

"He got eaten?" Courtney asked dully, ignoring the ricochet of a sniper bullet. Noah hung up with a click and short beep, signaling his departure from his hack, and she went back to killing his men. Trent was in constant motion behind his cover, trying his damnedest to avoid Courtney's far superior fire power and skill, keeping up his own end of the fight with Beth aiding him the whole time.

"Hey Trent" Noah hailed.

"What's up?" Trent asked in a rushed voice.

"Change of plans" Noah informed. "You don't need to cover Courtney anymore. She's not as much of a threat as she wants us all to believe. Just leave her to Beth and Justin and try storming the base with Gwen down below...but watch out for sharks."

"Sharks!?" Trent exclaimed. His word went unheard, however, as Noah quickly rushed into his next set of orders. He checked all the cameras and angles, observing his soldiers at war with his face rested on his folded hands...

* * *

Heather respawned with a plan in mind, a devious one at that. One to propel her to the top of her team's MVP list in terms of actual V. As with all her plans, it involved the direct manipulation of one of her own team mates, but unlike the myriad of dastardly plans she had made before in the first season, this one rested on her actually working for herself after clearing a path for herself to be in the spot light. She ran from the front of the base, looked down into the water and just missed Trent's cliff-dive routine as he went from the battlements into the bluish water below where the shark visibly swam around. Everything was in place, so she walked her way onto the bridge.

The battle between fire and fiery willpower continued to rage. Having run out of last-ditch reserves in their ammo and their primary weapons. Now it was a test of metal and mettle against the clashing, sparking power of one insane girl and one driven nerdy boy. Heather observed on her side of the bridge with a smirk and a cocked hip. Izzy lurched forward, pushing off from her toes, and made a dashing ax swipe that led into a long string of similar attacks, all aimed at Harold's slender little stomach. He leaned and turned and bent away from the onslaught as it came so rapidly. He tried sucking in his stomach ot avoid one hit but got grazed, shaken, and kicked in the face for his foolishness. No on the floor, Harold looked up at the bearer of his demise and made a decision.

He would have to exorcise his final, true trump card. He pushed himself up, rolling up onto his back and flipping up onto his feet with a single push from his arm against the ground. "Hey, Iz!" Harold exclaimed, turning his upper body to the side as he clutched the top of his styling fedora hat. "This fight's getting dull. I think I should tell a sharp-witted joke to liven it up."

"Are you trying to smack talk me?" Izzy asked. "Dude, you shouldn't! Hehehe! You suck at it!" Harold pressed his index finger into his gray hat and activated a belt of blades around the already sharp looking edge. He glared out from the corner of his glasses at her, seeing even through the holes in her mask that she was surprised.

"""

"I found out" Harold began "that as a spy in the Mafia, I get access to all sorts of sweet stuff. My hat is a hidden flying band saw, this flower on my lapel can shoot acid, and my watch is...well...actually, I already know what my watch can do. They didn't add anything to it. They just made it a classic watch instead of digital." While Harold looked at his watch his awkwardness set in and he shook it. It snapped off his wrist and hit him in the eye, which caused him to recoil and bring his hands up to his injured eye. He accidentally activated his acid flower as well, however, and the pain simply didn't end. The camera cut out before he started screaming.

"""

Harold made a sharp spin at his hips and threw the whirring, mechanical hat at and unprepared Izzy. She ducked initially and Heather, who saw it coming, dodged it. If it were saved up by the likes of Harold it must have been very strong. It bounced straight off of the metal wall of the Blue base and began flying back. Heather saw Izzy inattentively preparing a counter attack, her back wide open.

"Izzy!" Heather shouted. "Duck!" Izzy, reacting purely on instinct, slid to her knees and leaned as far back as she could. The hat buzzed just over her and returned to Harold's hand and then his head. Izzy rolled over her arms and stood back up with wide-spread bent legs. She started hopping around in place, keeping herself in motion so she could dodge easily when an attack came at her. Harold took his sword back up in the traditional, practiced, perfected pose of his and prepared to charge in. Only Heater had noticed that Harold wasn't standing on the bridge at the moment. He was in the dust. She made her move while this minor advantage was in play.

"Izzy" Heather called as she drew close.

"What's up, bud?" Izzy asked. Heather pointed down, straight down.

"There's a shark down there" Heather explained "and we can't get across the water fast enough. Someone needs to kill it."

"Okay" Izzy said neutrally. Harold made himself known as a fighting warrior by interrupting them.

"Fight me, cowards!" he exclaimed, drawing the angry attention of both stern and lethal women. "Did I say cowards? I was talking about...them!" Harold suddenly pointed off the field where cardboard cut-out cows were positioned. Izzy waved to them, further perpetuating her crazy as her main distinguishing trait. Heather grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around.

"Go kil the shark, Izzy" Heather instructed. "I can take Harold out for you."

"You sure?" Izzy asked. "You two are kinda dead even, and we can't afford to lose this bridge if we can't use the water, and-"

"Trust me!" Heather demanded. "We trained together, didn't we? Besides that, I'm your team mate! I'm your friend!"

"Oh!" Izzy exclaimed. She gave a short chuckle, one of pure unprovoked amusement, and broke away from Heather's hold. "Alright, I get it. I'll kill the shark." She said that as if she'd done it before without a problem. "Here, tap out." Izzy held out her metal ax blade, waiting for contact from Heather's sword. Harold waited as well, just as a gentlemanly warrior should, for their blades to tap. Once they did the battle restarted, Heather full of ammo and warring rage and Izzy in motion off the bridge, performing an Olympic-level complexity dive into the water with ax in mouth. Harold squared himself up. His opponent had changed but the battle was still the same..

"""

"Team trust is simple" Heather said. "Find something no one else can do, do it and bask in the glory. Or, if you can't do it but someone can, get them to do it and take the credit. Virtually no work if you play it right. But, in this case, with his kind of work, I'd rather take what work I can. After all, showing people up is so much more enjoyable when you get to brag into their decapitated face!"

"""

* * *

"Now what?" asked Trent, who had just barely been pulled to safety after narrowly avoiding the jaws of the shark.

"We can't cross" Gwen said "without a diversion!" Suddenly the shark reemerged with Izzy clubbing its snout in a three-limb death grip. The shark went back under in a huge splash of water, leaving the three soldiers with a suitable distraction and no more excuses. They went for it. Courtney was now free enough to move about and try to stop them by claiming the bridge, however there was still a fight going on. She carefully climbed down and prepared to enter it, using her automatic, but her gun was lowered by the heavy hand of Eva.

"I've got this" she growled.

"No!" Courtney shouted. "You need to get back in there! Owen's coming through the sewer!"

"Figures" she lowed. Her gun began revving, which Heather plainly heard, and she fired out her roaring torrent of bullets. Harold was uneffected but still pushed away by their force while Heather retreated at a speed that enarly matched the bullets, defelcting them away as she sped so closely leaning to the ground. Then, with her ninja grace, she jumped off the wall that absorbed most of the rounds and onto the top of the bridge cover. Eva revved her gun down and growled.

"Give me a boost!" Courtney ordered. Eva picked her up and let her stand on her shoulder's where she had a perfect vantage to shoot Heather from. She just missed the spy as she cloaked, but she refused to let that stop her. She switched to X-ray vision and caught a glimpse of a fading skeleton as it jumped over the side of the bridge. Calculating at the speed of light, Courtney aimed down and fired her rifle. Head shot! Heater was claimed and fell dead into the water where the inpatient, injured shark continued to thrash. Izzy was biting it's neck when the body hit the water, food to replenish the shark's health, and it swam for it to regain an important edge. Izzy saw Heather's corpse floating and reached the same conclusion as her beastly foe.

"""

"When fighting your opponent" Izzy began mystically "you must become your opponent, think and act and totally _be_ like them. If I were a shark, I might hold out for something a bit meatier than Heather, though."

"""

Meat or not, the shark knew that the game mechanics it was made form would replenish its health if it ate a body. Izzy refused to allow it to take such an unfair advantage and took out her ax. She gripped the shark's body with her legs and began chopping away at its head. The shark lost speed as it approached the body, then its beady eyes shot open just before closing into crosses. Izzy had won, and was covered in the blood of her victory, holding the shark's head up high!

"Say your prayers" Duncan lowed "you psycho-hose-beast form Hell!" He activated his remote bomb, still inside the shark's body. Izzy heard it beep, looked over, and then was blown to chunks fro mthe proximity force.

"""

"Always have a back up plan" Duncan instructed. "Especially if you want to get one over on super-crazy girls who act like they're the monster in a horro flick!"

"""

"_Pick up, Blue!"_ Chris announced.

"What!?" Courtney exclaimed.

"How!?" Duncan shouted. He remembered his other bomb,s stationed down below, and activated them. The ground-sundering explosion was heard and felt by nearly everyone on the map. The ground shook so hard that some of the rafters began to splinter, and when the noise and chaos was finally over Duncan looked around his HUD for a confirmation of his kill. Nothing. "What the hell!? That was a huge explosion...I mean, so huge! It sounded like a warehouse of gunpowder going off!" He got some strange mixed looks. "Please. You think I got to do _that?_ My career hasn't been quite that profound, thank you."

"IT was Lindsay!" Courtney exclaimed. "Search and destroy! Find her before she can make it back to-" A blast of wind cut her off. The blond blur passed by everyone, running at super-sonic speeds backwards to blow them a taunting kiss. Her super-shoes let her glide through the air and into her base where the power finally drained and she simply began to run. She ran by Leshawna and received a congratulatory high-five as she passed. She gave a nice wave to Cody on her way to the straight staircase downstairs. Everything was going so swimmingly for her. The first capture had already gone to Blue!

"""

"I am sooo grateful to Noah for giving me such a huge advantage!" she said, not faking her emphatic joy. "It was really nice of him to sacrifice his little robot things so I could be this fast! It's so fun!"

"""

Lindsay entered the control room and stopped to stare in wonderment at Noah's Noah-nater set-up. She walked in a daze up to the desk where the capture would be made final, but a mysterious figure came into the room from around a blind corner. Noah just now caught this on his read-outs, a member of his team appearing from nowhere while, at the same time, **arming the battlements against the closing Eva.**

"Noah!" Justin called from the battlements. "Me and Beth have decided that two against one isn't fair if the one is Eva! Can we get some help?"

"I'll send Leshawna" Noah said quickly. He dropped his post and ran for the window, keeping his pistol armed at his side. Justin had just called him from up top...so that meant Harold was about to take out Lindsay from behind! He slowly slid the glass door open just as Harold lunged forward and into Lindsay's back.

* * *

He covered her eyes playfully and hummed at her. "Guess who?"

"Bishop?" Lindsay answered. Harold, as Justin, turned her around and laughed at her with his artificial handsome smile.

"Oh, you're a laugh, Lindsay" he said. "Why don't you give the intel to me so you can get a head-start on grabbing the next one?"

"But I'm already here" Lindsay said. "I'm like...four steps away from making the capture." She was less than a step from the capture zone itself, but number's weren't her forte anyway. "You just want the credit for yourself, don't you!?" Harold began to back off with his hands up. Then his head hit something solid and metal.

"Oh good" Noah whispered. "You're already in the position I want. Just stay there for a bit." Now Harold had to endure the torture of getting chewed out by a visibly pissed girl and then a brutal shot to the back of the head.

"You think" Lindsay began "that just because you're hot, we'll let you get away with anything! Well, guess what mister! I'm not going to let that happen! The world would be a terrible place if guys like you just did whatever you wanted and got away with it because of your good looks!"

"But don't you do that too?" Harold asked.

"No!" Lindsay said. She then paused and leaned away to think. Harold attempted to take advantage of the situation by first elbowing Noah in the face and then kicking the intel into the air where it landed in his hand.

"Hahah!" he smugly laughed in Justin's voice. "You know, Hand-to-Hand combat isn't going to break my disguise, and I'll bet you couldn't box your way out of a paper bag!" Noah brushed his injured face with his white sleeve and got up on his feet.

"Wow" he flatly said with a grin. "You've even got his personality down. You're a good spy, Harold." Noah picked his gun up and tried to fire it again, but Harold grabbed his hand by the wrist and swiftly circled around so that Noah's thin arm was against his wide, artificially muscular back, all while Lindsay was lost in her own recollection.

"I've always wanted to do this" Harold admitted. He pulled on Noah's arm until it broke, dealing significant damage and disabling his entire arm. Noah broke away from the struggle with a pained scream that snapped Lindsay out of her own world as well. "Hahaha! You're nothing but a bunch of hype! Say your prayers, man, because I'm gonna-" no more words. None ever again. Not from poor Harold, who received the wrath of a woman straight between his knees. He tensed up and fell down in pain, writhing and wiggling on the floor.

"Oops" Lindsay said with a sympathetic look on her face. Noah picked his gun back up and pressed it down on Harold's head.

"Lindsay" Noah began, "make the capture and get behind the desk." Lindsay didn't argue. She just did it, gaining a point and securing a lead while taking cover. "Don't worry. This gun doesn't fire bullets. It's a taser. It fires disruption electricity, i.e. camouflage disruption electricity." Harold had just become aware of how many guns were beeping overhead. Noah pulled the trigger and zapped Harold, who slowly began to lose his guise as it crackled and shifted into static. Noah then dove across the room, keeping his broken arm away from the ground, and landed on his feet. Harold's disguise finally broke and he was shredded t pieces by the relentless turrets from above.

"Another one bites the dust" Noah lowed. Lindsay came back up from the desk, seeing only a puddle of blood, and slowly approached it with regret.

"Ooh..." she sighed. "Poor Justin. He's a traitor _and_ he's dead!"

"That wasn't Justin" Noah said "though I don't think he's above trying something like that on any one of us." Noah snapped his working fingers and summoned a little bell-shaped funnel to descend from his ceiling dispenser to heal him. His arm was fixed in seconds and his health was recovered. With his newly recovered hand he gave a thumb up to Lindsay to let her know all was well. However, some part of him knew that all really wasn't well. "On your way, soldier" he dismissed. Lindsay nodded and began running for her next conquering capture. Noah went back into his room, walking briskly, and put his headset back on.

"Are you even there!?" Leshawna called. "Don't make me come down there and-"

"Sorry" Noah said. "Spy problems. I'm back now."

"Finally!" Leshawna said over the roaring of bullet fire. Somehow Noah knew what she was about to report. "Listen! Eva's broken through and is heading for the courtyard...thing where Cody is! Justin and Beth tried to fight her off but she's got Courtney trailing her."

"What about the grenades you placed?" Noah asked. "Did she evade them?"

"I thought I got her" Leshawna said "but she ubered right as I blew them up. DJ's her medic, too!"

"A super combo" Noah lowed. "Alright, so it's just you and Cody defending now?"

"Looks like it" Leshawna said.

"Don't worry" Cody said, joining in. "If anyone respawns they can help us out in a jiff, right?" He was cut off by the rapid clinking of bullets off his carefully constructed turret which he turned to speedily repair.

"We might not last, Noah" Leshawna regretfully said. "If we don't I hope you're ready to hold them off down there."

"I am" Noah said. "Though, I would appreciate not having to work. Why don't you guys just give it your all and contribute a hundred and ten percent!" The cheeky perkiness he spoke with made Leshawna glare at her ear-piece which Noah saw through the cameras. "Don't worry about it. A single failure won't cost us the game. Besides, I have a feeling we're about to make Courtney turn back in a few seconds."

"What makes you say that?" Leshawna asked.

"_Yet again!"_ Chris announced. _"The Blues have proved themselves a formidable force, as yet another pick-up has been made! Owen's got the case!"_

"That might be it" Noah said. He and Leshawna shared a smug grin while Eva continued throwing her fire randomly around the corner, shaving the metal finish off of Cody's precious turret.

* * *

"Well now" Chris began, "wasn't that an exciting round! It had everything! Action, drama, exciting tension, sharks! Everything you love to see happen to those kooky kids on a weekly basis. But, we aren't done quite yet! Thanks to the speedy feet of Lindsay, we have one of the eleven embarrassing expose's on the Red team! Why don't we play it now, to give them a reason to keep fighting?"

"""

"I don't think I have anything that embarrassing, eh" Zeke admitted. "Not that I haven't already said. Oh wait...um, one time, at home, I was practicing deer hunting, right? And my mom, she was in the woods taking a walk, but she was wearing this really furry coat and she was carrying sticks for some reason. Long story short...she got an arrow in the butt and had to stay in bed for a week. Yeah. I'm not that good of a shot, eh. At least not with a bow."

"""

"Wasn't that special..." Chris said flatly, unamused by Zeke's shameful yet predictable memory. "Anyhoo, tune in next week when even more captures are made and more dirty little secrets are reveled! Who will triumph over who!? Will Heather get revenge on Harold? Will Noah's Noah-nater system be defeated? Find out in the next exciting installment of the most combative and shocking match ever! Only here, on _Total  
Drama  
Team Fortress!!!_"


	53. 2Fort 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Once the word hit that the Blues had made yet another capture, Courtney became livid with anger.

"Damn it all to hell!!!" Courtney shouted.

"""

"In my defense" she then began to explain, "it was a very tense time for me. I mean, as the leader, the entire success of our operation rested with me. If we failed, it would mean that I failed, and I _don't fail._"

"""

"I'm taking care of this" she said to Eva. "You keep pushing."

"Got it" Eva droned as she blind-fired around the corner, holding her gatling gun over her head to wipe out whoever was in the little room.

"Enough playing around" DJ said, still loyally healing behind her. "Let's use the straight staircase. You can keep them pinned down without just standing around."

"Good idea" Eva said.

"""

"You know" Eva began "for a pacifist, DJ's got a good military mind on his shoulders. Heck, if he wanted to lead the team I'm sure he could, he's just too nice."

"""

Eva let her gun rev down and made a dash for the opposite staircase. As she climbed the sharply cornered wooden stairs she saw Cody throw down another turret which she turned with her shotgun to fire upon. As she did, Leshawna's grenade gun peeked around the corner and began firing on her. The grenades bounced at her feet and rolled around behind her, exploding soon after and wounding her constantly-regenerated body.

"That's right!" Leshawna shouted. "Where's your little sniper now!?"

"Like I need her!" Eva roared back. She started pumping her shotgun faster and firing with more brazen murderous attempt than before. Getting extremely aggravated, she removed her lead-weighted hat and threw that, smashing Cody's turret in the middle of its construction. Cody scratched his head curiously at the strange properties of the hat while Leshawna continued her volley, pausing for a second to reload as fast as she could.

"They're getting away!" Cody exclaimed.

"I'm aware of that!" Leshawna said. Once her gun was reloaded she switched to stickies and started firing them across the gap. Eva was already near the threshold that led to the stairs, but still within Leshawna's reach. DJ was already inside, hurrying in so that he could stay out of the fire, while Eva continued firing her shotgun in style with only one arm. When Leshawna fired a sticky grenade Eva shot it in the air and pushed it away. When Leshawna launched a grenade Eva use her gun to nudge it away, the grenade ignoring her gun as a part of her body and staying on its timed frequency. Leshawna had lost the firefight as Eva simply gave her a gun-barrel hat-tip and ran down the steps.

"Damn!" Leshawna shouted. "Noah! Eva's on her way!"

"No she's not" Noah denied very plainly.

"Yeah, she is!" Cody confirmed. "WE couldn't stop her!"

"But you slowed her down" Noah said, "which gave her just enough time to get into position."

"Who?" Leshawna asked. "Eva?"

"Noo..." Noah said, leaving the tension of mystery ripe in the air. Eva and DJ ran down the stairs, staying close together, nearly reaching the bottom floor when **she** slid in their way. Wearing a mask of ageless horror, colored with blood, stood Izzy with her flamethrower and a belt of grenades across her chest. Through the wide, circular slots of her mask she glared Eva down, stopping her in her tracks and forcing DJ to run into her from behind.

"""

"I love scaring people" Izzy said happily. "I think I've already told you that, but this one time, and I know I haven't said this yet, I was in a hospital and I was wearing a long, black robe and I had my hair straightened but it didn't totally take so it was all, like, frizzy and it looked like fire. Anyway, I was walking around and visiting old people's rooms and pointing at them and saying, in a really raspy voice, 'You're time has come!' and like ten people flat-lined that day! HAA!!! I love scaring people..."

"""

Izzy grabbed one of her napalm-grenades from her belt and threw it right in Eva's face. An explosion of bright-red fire occurred and Eva fell over, spreading the fire to DJ through proximity. Izzy spun around and grabbed another grenade, tossing this one underhand at DJ who flew back into the steps and started frying rapidly. His gun was knocked out of his hand, the only thing that had been keeping Eva borderline immortal, and now they both rapidly began losing life. Izzy, in her madly defined mercy, took out her barbed-wire-wrapped ax and pounced forward, decimating both Eva and DJ before they had a chance to recover the senses to actively prevent their own deaths.

"See?" Noah said to Leshawna, who had passively seen both of the Red aggressors die. "It all worked out in the end. This game is about results, not the means to them. You helped in getting those results, though."

"So" Cody began, "you knew she's spawn down there already?"

"Let's keep things moving" Noah said, refusing to answer his question over the open channels. Izzy came up, her ax swinging her limp arms from side to side and her head down and bobbing lightly. When she stopped in the frame of the open door her body began to twitch from her chest. Her mad laughter began to build up until she was howling it madly, face up to the sky.

"**HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!**"

"Hey!" Leshawna shouted, throwing Izzy out of her mad stupor. "Get a move on. We need that kind of power in the Red base, alright?"

"Okay!" Izzy happily agreed. She swapped her ax for her primary flamethrower and jumped down to the ground where she broke out in a sprint for the bridge and the base beyond it. Leshawna shook her had in disbelief and smiled.

"Good thing she's on our side" she said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

* * *

With all the strategic opportunities finely examined, Duncan found only one safe rout of defense. He would stop the intel from advancing past the base by either killing or crippling Owen and Gwen, then guard the intel where it was dropped while Zeke respawned and repaired his defenses. Duncan had ten mines over each of the intelligence room exits and kept a steady, sturdy one on both. The one in his room, right across from the second-floor spawn point, was proximity triggered, but those were weaker and he would have to finish the job up close. The ones across the enclosed ramparts were actively triggered, and unless they came up as an ubercharge, they would do the job.

"Now my least favorite part" Duncan groaned. "The waiting game." His common sense among the stupidity and overplayed characterization of his team mates allowed him insight as to just why the waiting game had to be played. Down below in the Red basement, Owen was limbering up with some low-pressure stretches, preparing himself to ascend the long, narrow staircase, an easier choice than the much longer, winding, dizzying hallway that led to roughly the same place.

"Are you ready yet, Owen?" Gwen asked.

"I don't think so" Owen said, breathing more heavily than normal. "I actually think I'm making myself tired already. Heh...maybe I should just rest before I charge." To that end Owen sat on the lowest step while Gwen continued to heal him. She positioned herself against the wall and slid down until she hit the floor. Trent sat down beside her, keeping his sub-mahcine gun out just in case, and smiled at her. She grinned back appeasingly.

"""

"Gwen and Trent?" Owen remarked. "Whoo-hoo! You couldn't pull them apart with two tanker cabbies! They're tighter than me and Izzy, or Duncan and Courtney. Then again, I think Duncan's more scared of Courtney than he is in love. And me and Izzy...well, I can't even climb stairs! Even if I wanted to, how could I outrun her?"

"""

"Hey" Trent said. Gwen turned to him and brushed her bangs away, better revealing her taunting smile. Trent, however, looked a bit serious and even peeved. "Has Justin been talking to you about me?"

"What?" Gwen exclaimed. "No, not at all. Why?"

"He's been trying to tell me" Trent explained "that our relationship isn't doing good anymore."

"Really?" Gwen asked. "Actually, I think he has made some kind of pass at me before..."

"He wanted me" Trent said in outrage "to try and convince you to vote him as an MVP. He thinks you're easily manipulated by me."

"He needs a lesson or two" Gwen said, hands at her hips.

"He's been doing stuff like that" Owen added "to everyone. He tried to convince me to try harder, Izzy to defend more, Lindsay to slow down, Cody to be less efficient."

"Why?" Trent asked.

"Duh" Owen began. "To make himself look better. He's acting like Heather, only he's better at it because he has better looks and a more attractive jaw line and...awesome pecs..." Gwen and Trent openly winced away from Owen as he trailed on dreamily about Justin's body. Then Owen snapped out of it and gave a shifty glance. "No! I'm straight, I swear!"

"We know" Trent and Gwen said.

"Hey, Lard-Man!" Courtney shouted. Everyone snapped up to their feet just as she rounded the corner with her Tommy gun aimed form her hip. "Put that briefcase back where you found it!"

"AAAH!!!" Owen shouted. "Come on, legs, don't disappoint us now!"

"RUN!" Gwen and Trent blared. Owen started running as fast as he could up the staircase with Gwen right behind and healing and Trent keeping up the rear with his sub machine gun. Courtney rounded that corner as well and stood in place, eying her shot down so each shot would clip at Trent's head. The bullets went past her, some sinking in and spraying small squibs of blood here and there, but she ignored them all the same. She fired a short volley and killed Trent with successive rapid-fire critical hits. Gwen heard him fall and nearly turned to retaliate but her main task was in front of her...and stopped.

"Owen! RUN!" Gwen commanded. Owen was bent over and panting gravely, his eyes just peaking over the final step. He was about four steps from the beginning of an escape and pressed himself to go further. He tugged his shoulders forward, trying hard to somehow push himself up with brute strength, but all it resulted in was his body weight shifting too far forward, which in turn resulted in him falling over.

"I can't do it!" Owen exclaimed. "Too...much...pain...and...air hurts...to breathe...need.......piiiiieeee...." Gwen was busy fending a cocky Courtney off with her bonesaw, clashing blade against blade and keeping mindful of the sudden electric bursts Courtney's shock-stick could give out.

"Just try!" Gwen exclaimed, receiving a painful critical shock. Her uber gauge was full finally. Seeing no better route, she activated it and kicked Courtney into a near catastrophic fall down the stairs. Seeing her off her balance Gwen finalized her attack by throwing her saw. Courtney fell down the steps, concussing herself when she landed on the ground floor and losing nearly half her health. "Owen! There's pie in our intel room! Just get the case back there!"

"What kind?" Owen asked. Gwen thought for a second, and it only took a second, to determine what would be the best motivator for a man of Owen's girth.

"Chicken-pot pie" Gwen said temptingly. Owen perked right up.

"Sweet Mama Macbeth!" Owen exclaimed. "That's a whole new level of awesome in pie!"

"Time's a-wasting" Gwen said. "Charge!" Owen pumped his gatling gun over his head, fueled by the promise of pie, and made a break for it. Duncan had predicted such a result, an uber Owen and Gwen, and reacted accordingly. He activated a third set of grenades, spawned from a rotating box of class-specific grenades, just as Owen cleared the wooden ramparts. Just the press of a button and three military-grade environment-altering plastic explosives caches were detonated, and the wooden of the ramparts was no more. Gwen and Owen fell, suffering no damage aside from minor disorientation, and continued running. Now there was **no way up for the Blues.** Duncan grinned menacingly.

"""

"In the end" Duncan began "it's really just a game of capture the flag. And what better way to secure your flag than to cut off all the routes to it? I'll tell you: You build turrets around it anyway and wait."

"""

"This is The Demo" Duncan said on the radio. "The Hulk and the Doc are taking the case to go. Anyone want to get their order?"

"I'm on it" Sadie replied. She was guarding the bridge, having a nasty stand-off with Izzy who stood clear across the watery gap with her flamethrower ready to blast compressed air and reflect the rockets away. Katie stood behind, healing, keeping a watch on the doorways for the hulky Owen.

"He's going through the sewers again!" Geoff exclaimed.

"Cut him off!" Duncan exclaimed.

"I'm trying!" Geoff called back. He and Bridgette were offering a decent stand against Owen, who lumbered through the narrow tunnel leading into the corner room of the sewer with oddly placed lockers. When he fired a rocket, Owen would retaliate by leaning away and firing his gatling gun. Gwen stood directly behind him, close enough to stay in step and avoid rocket fire while distant enough not to leave her backside exposed. She looked behind her on a whim and saw the water rippling as if feet were touching it in a swift sprint.

"Spy!" Gwen exclaimed. Harold decloaked, seeing no more need for stealth, and engaged Gwen as his toes touched gently on the surface of the water. He had a height advantage an milked it by simply decapitating Owen from behind.

"The big-guy is down!" Geoff reported.

"_The Blue team dropped the case!"_ Chef announced. Noah observed all this through his hacked terminal in the base with his hand cupped around his chin.

"Come on Lindsay" he muttered. "We need a solid advantage, here." Despite all his prayer, Lindsay was still a ways off, saving her burst of amazing speed for the final stretch with the intel. She made her way out of her own bases sewers just now...

* * *

Izzy decided to make the engaging move. With a sudden shout she started running across the bridge with her flamethrower ready and waiting with a tense trigger finger. Sadie fired a rocket, aimed at the feet of the running madness, but Izzy's quick reflexes allowed her to deflect it. Sadie dodged to one side and Katie leaped the other way as the rocket sailed straight into the wall. Now Izzy was across the bridge and deciding, like a wolf, which rabbit to slaughter first.

"What the hell, Katie!?" Sadie shouted. "Why'd you dodge that way!? I was going this way!" Izzy blinked in her direction, deciding based on whining that she was first.

"Oh, cram it, you cow!" Katie shouted back, catching mad Izzy's attention. "If your stupid, thick cankles weren't so unbalanced you would be able to go this way too!"

"Take that back, you stick!" Sadie raged back.

"No, you stupid, big...cow!" Katie fired back.

"You idiot" Sadie shouted. "You already used that insult! Your brain must be as thick as your thighs, no-ass!"

"I do too have an ass!" Katie argued. Izzy propped her flamethrower up on her shoulder and walked over to the railing of the bridge to lean and wait. "It's adorable and guys like it way better than yours!!!"

"That's not what Tommy said" Sadie said in a mocking voice.

"Who cares what Tommy said!?!?" Katie roared, venting anger from some past tragedy. Izzy started picking at her nails, totally bored over the pause in murder that was going on, and stopped listening to the chatter between two bitter friends.

"""

"That stupid Katie" Sadie argued. "She always has to be cute, always has to be the ditzy-little moron that the guys just go nuts over. Meanwhile, I get stuck with the ugly friend or the one who doesn't bathe or the one who only talks about hockey while she's holding hands with Mr. Perfect Tight-Abs awesome. She's so stuck up. I hope we lose and it's all her fault."

"""

"I don't hate Sadie" Katie admitted, "Not anymore. If anything, hating her reminded me of how much I missed her. We've always been so tight, always been together, and I guess eventually one of us was bound to screw something up and cause a divide. I'm just sorry that it was me...not that I'd be happier if Sadie actually did it. I'm sorry..." Katie hid her eyes from the camera as she was preparing to tear up. "I...I'm done here..."

"""

The camera cut through static almost immediately to Sadie's continued confessional. "BWAAAAHH!!! KATIE, I MISS YOUUUU!!!! I'm sorry, Katie!!!"

"""

Back in the battle, while the girls continued batting insults to and fro, Izzy picked up the echoing, hollow sounds of battle down below. She looked over the edge of the bridge and, after a shark's shadow passed by, she peeked at the dim muzzle flash and explosive lights form inside the Red base sewer pipes.

"Ooooh!" Izzy awed, grabbing her ax. "Battle!" Izzy flipped over the edge of the bridge, caught her hand between the rotted holes of the wood boards under the main, smooth work up top, and simply hung above the water with her hands and feet pressing herself to defy gravity. Meanwhile the battle continued within, one MVP versus another plus backup. Gwen managed to save herself temporarily, picking up the briefcase in one hand while trying to run with her other arm apparently cut off. She made it to the edge of the water, saw the shark swimming, and groaned with extreme anger.

"Gwen" Izzy whispered, catching her attention. Gwen looked up and saw Izzy waving at her with her ax stowed safely between her neck and the bridge.

"Izzy!?" Gwen exclaimed. She felt a sharp edge of metal against her neck. She shut her eyes tight and grit her teeth in angst.

"No" Harold said. "Now even Izzy can save you now..." Harold drew back his sword, preparing for an epic slash, but his high hopes to retrieve the intel were lost. Lindsay came dashing into view from the opposite sewer tunnel running on the water with her friction-defying shoes. She gasped and started running even faster to try and do what she could to save Gwen's head from rolling.

"""

"I think Gwen and Trent" Lindsay began "are a pretty good couple, but not as good as me and Tyler...not as good as we were, anyway...Okay! They aren't as good as Geoff and Bridgette. They're, like, insparable most of the time!"

"""

"Catch!" Gwen shouted. To whom it wasn't determined. As soon as the case was thrown her head was cut cleanly from her neck. Harold had to kick her body forward as it wasn't falling, and splashed a pool of shifty blood into the water. Izzy made her move to ambush while Lindsay clicked her heels and activated her high-speed sprint, but none of the forces in action were faster than nature. A shark, smelling the blood, lurched up with an open mouth, caught the case and Gwen's body inside, and then dropped back down into the water. Harold stomped on the water he mystically walked upon in anger.

"Gah!" he exclaimed in frustration. "Stupid sharks! Can this life get any worse?" He looked up, ironically, to the heavens for an answer. He instead got a glimpse of hell, Izzy descending with her ax drawn high over her head of jagged, rippling flames, to cleave him head-to-toe. As time resumed from its sluggish slowdown, Harold uttered one last complaint to the world, one he said very flatly and with an extreme lack of normal emotion. "Crap" Then it was over. His body was split, and now Izzy took on the supranatural ability to stand on water as she posed with her ax, holding the handle horizontally and just above her flashing, glaring eyes.

"SURPRISE, HARRY!!!" she shouted to his split corpse.

"I don't think he can hear you" Lindsay said quite plainly. The shark lurched up once more, this time for Harold's body, and spit out the case that hadn't favored its flavor. The case floated just above the surface of the water long enough for Izzy to grab it and hand it off. "Thanks!" Lindsay said, taking the case.

"I'm trusting you with it" Izzy said. "Don't screw up!"

"I won't" Lindsay happily said. Izzy grabbed her by her shirt collar and yanked her in, turning her eyes all the way up so only the white and veiny red lines were showing.

"You better not" Izzy warned, **"or I'll kill you myself!**"

"EEEEE!!!!" Lindsay screeched. She fled back to her base in total shock and fear while Izzy stood alone on the water, tapping her ax to her shoulder and smelling herself indecently.

"Welp" Izzy said with a sigh, "time to go to work. Still lots of people to kill!"

* * *

"_The Blue team scores again!"_ Chris announced. _"Oh, what an embarrassing losing streak the Reds are on! Will they bounce back?"_

"We'd better" Courtney growled. Her earpiece beeped in an odd musical tone that signaled an intruding transmitor.

"Hey there, general" Noah greeted. Courtney nearly had a coronary. She grabbed the earpiece and screamed into it.

"What do you want!? To brag!?!?!?"

"Tell your team" Noah said "that the water is safer. I hacked it."

"Hacked?" Courtney repeated. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Maybe" Noah admitted. "Anyway, the players can walk on the water now unless they chose to move into it and swim. Also, the shark's back."

"I hate that bastard!" Courtney growled.

"The shark?" Noah asked. "Are you sure it's a he?"

"Who cares!?" Courtney bellowed, disengaging him herself. She sent a transmission to her entire team this time to tell them of their new and improved position in the game. "Everyone, the water has been modified against our knowledge to be walked on. Take advantage of this opportunity and avoid the shark down below. Zeke, build a turret down on the water and see if it'll float. I have a plan. Everyone else, to arms! Not another capture can be made!"

"Another capture _won't_ be made, princess" Duncan said.

"Don't jinx us, dude!" Geoff said, he and Bridgette running back upstairs to help defend against invaders. Tyler passed them by with a quick salute on his way to Blue base.

"Nice work up there Duncan" Tyler praised. "I'm kinda jealous that I don't get that much explosives, yo."

"Ah, that was nothing" Duncan said, rubbing his nails against his chest. "I'm sure they'll figure something out, they're annoying like that, but this gives us some time to go on unrelenting offense."

"Nice!" Courtney said, spawning just behind Duncan and startling the crap out of him. "Everyone, we're going to our old standby, 'Code Deep-Blue Massacre!'"

"Roger" Eva growled. She had spawned in the battlements room along with DJ who started healing immediately.

"Sorry about before" DJ said privately to Eva. "Izzy surprised me...and killed me...and I think before I died I wet myself."

"Don't sweat it" Eva said coolly. "It happens, she's a good soldier. Also, ew, keep that to yourself, alright?" DJ nodded solemnly and began following her lead.

"I'm heading out there" Duncan said, confronting Courtney up close. "The rest of my mines are purely proximity, no one's getting by them. If they detonate we'll have enough time to get back here or intercept someone if they steal the intel again."

"Alright" Courtney agreed.

"Don't you hold me back, woman" Duncan fought. "I'm-wait, alright? You're okay with me going out?"

"It's part of the strategy" Courtney said coyly. "If you didn't go it just wouldn't work out."

"I'm down here, eh" Zeke said. "My turret's...floating."

"Great!" Courtney exclaimed. "Get some metal, build a dispenser, and start pushing us an operational mini-base all the way into Blue base!"

"Alright" Zeke said. "I'm going. I'll meet you guys over there, eh?"

"Sadie and Katie" Courtney called, "what's your status?" She got no response. Sadie and Katie had apparently left the battle, or killed each other more likely, and were silent in purgatory. "If you can hear me, we're engaging in code 'Deep-Blue Massacre'. Just follow your proper instructions, okay?"

"They're hopeless" Duncan said, checking his gun and keeping it loaded. Courtney charged out into the open, Duncan following, while the sun was still hanging over the morning horizon. Courtney stopped on the battlements and scoped the rushing feet of a certain sniper across the way. She engaged her X-ray to watch him as he and two other slightly less distinguishable figures beyond the brick wall, began talking and exchanging pointing gestures with each other. The Blue team was already planning some sort of counter measure according to the Red's current inactivity.

"Hey!" Harold shouted from the destroyed ramparts encircling. "What the heck happened here!? Duncan!"

"What?" Duncan asked in an amused tone. "It wasn't me! The Blues did it!"

"Damn you, Duncan!" Harold shouted as Courtney made herself better known. "You blew it all up, you maniac! Why? Whyyy-" Headshot. Heather was revealed and fell to her grim death. Courtney reloaded her gun and just looked down, piteous at her desperate, failed attempt. Duncan shook his head after and went behind her once again. Meanwhile, Heather's true body, which still had the fighting force of a single health point, emerged from thin air just behind her fake, dead body.

"Damn!" Heather quietly cursed. "How'd they do that?"

"You get everything you needed?" Noah asked her over a discrete and nearly silent radio wave. Heather ducked into the longer hallway and waited for her cloak to recharge, which did so as she moved around uncloaked.

"Yeah" Heather reported back in a whisper. "They're launching something called code 'Deep-Blue Massacre'. It's an all-offense tactic. They also blew apart their ramparts, so there's no easy way in for any of us."

"Except you" Noah pointed out. "You can just climb up and take the stairs, find some health, be perfectly fine."

"Then pick up the intel just as they start winning at our base" Heather deviously planned. "Their morale will hit rock bottom and the fight will be over."

"Basically" Noah said. "Go for it. We're rooting for you."

"You got it, girl" Leshawna said, offering her good-word of praise.

"""

"Wow" Heather began in honest amazement and happiness. "Who knew working to contribute to the team would feel so...good? I mean, still, it's work, but at least it isn't all bad. At least they aren't yelling at me to not screw up, no matter what, or don't come home at all." Heather dropped her smile and drifted her eyes down to the floor for a moment...

"""

"Should I build a counter-turret?" Cody asked.

"No" Noah said. "Let them have at least that one edge."

"I don't think fun" Justin began "is exactly a huge priority here, dude. We should cover all our bases."

"I agree" Noah said, "and currently our _only_ base is down in the intel room, hovering and spinning over a corner desk. We need as much firepower down here for when Eva, Courtney, DJ, the real Harold and Duncan show up to play."

"Does that mean I have to come back too?" Izzy asked in a somewhat spoiled whine.

"No" Noah said. "I think we can handle this. Stay as close to them as possible in case they steal the case."

"Which they might" Justin argued politely "considering how cramped we're going to make ourselves. You know it's easier to fight when we have out own space to do so, Noah."

"I like Noah's plan!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"There" Noah said. "Lindsay had the winning vote. We're doing it my way." Justin, who walked next to Trent and Beth down the winding way down to the intel room, scowled at his earpiece while Trent smirked and Beth fought to hold back giggles.

"""

"I'm a nice guy" Justin said. "Really, I am. When a model is checking me out, I don't always stand next to the really ugly kids to make myself look better and hurt their pride. No. I usually do it with the guys who look a little less better than me to hurt their pride and their audition. But other than that, I'm a nice and decent guy...until uppity jerks like Noah push me too far down. Then I can get pretty hot under the collar, and trust me, you don't want to see what happens to a male-model who gets steamed."

"""

So now, with two in the base and nine preparing to stand guard, the Blue team moves into its fortified position, making a castle out of a fort. Meanwhile, the powerhouse force of Red team prepares to move in to crush and utterly obliterate what pride and posture the Blue team has, an attack on all fronts. Tyler emerged from the sewer with his scatter-gun armed, checking each corner before rounding it for strategic advantages. He was among the harder workers.

DJ only had to keep pace and position with Eva and he would be contributing at his maximum level. Sadie and Katie finally respawned in separate nearby rooms, both up above, and ran out away from each other, hopping down to the water to wait for and guard Zeke. The shark swam between the beams of the bridge, eying them from under the water. Izzy and Heather combed through the Red base in search of stragglers, ironically just missing the last two, and prepared to team up and go for the gold.

"Stay behind me" Izzy said, grabbing Heather's tender forearm.

"How'd you even get up here?" Heather asked. "Zeke's got a turret down there and Geoff and Bridgette both came up through the sewer. Everyone else left through either the front doors or the battlements? Which way did you go?" Izzy, smiling and beaming her glee through her squinted eyes, pointed her ax up. Along the ceiling of the entry corridor where they stood there was a hole leading straight up, meant to be used to drop straight down, which she suspended herself from as everyone left after climbing up the bricks from the water and sneaking in while Courtney was distracted with 'killing' Heather before.. Heather looked at it and grinned quite evilly. That would do it.

As those girls headed to cheat Duncan's brilliant strategic design, a figure cloaked in a breezy kimono felt at the foam-rubber composite that made up a dummy's skin. Harold brought his hand back up from the fake face of non-dead Heather and clutched it tightly, staring up at the blue sky with contempt.

"She is here" Harold said, brandishing his sword readily. "She is...near." His kimono billowed right off his thin, bony shoulders, but he gave it no chase. He looked better without it right now anyway...

Force against force, counter-measure against counter-measure, the ultimate war was about to being. Code 'Deep-Blue Massacre' was about to meet the 'Impenetrable Wall of Jericho' that Noah had set up and awaited the results of with tapping fingers against fingers.

"Let's play..." Noah lowed. His entire team sat ready inside and just outside the intel room, ready for a fight, ready to defend. The Red team made their way into the Blue base with stampeding feet. The shark had been blown and syringed to bloody bits while Zeke continued hammering at his turret and dragging his dispenser from behind.

"Come on!" Sadie exclaimed angrily.

"Speed it up!" Katie added, glaring at him. Zeke huffed and puffed tired breaths and gave no retort. He needed to energy. They both moved behind him, kicking his machinery once in a while to hopefully speed him up a bit. The poor boy was tired, but still had a ways to go...

* * *

And now, thanks to the Blue team, a random and embarrassing past admittance, once again from the Red team!

"""

"When I was a little girl" Courtney began, nervously rubbing her knuckles, "I had already decided to set my sights on a bright and profiling career as an enterprising and successful woman in business. In chasing that dream, I did what any enterprising little kid did in those days and opened up a lemonade stand. Granted, it wasn't quite the right season for lemonade and the entire idea seemed a bit cliched, so after the first few days of admittedly slow business, I changed my idea to selling Grape-ade instead. I even crushed the grapes myself with an automatic juice press in my kitchen. Well...apparently I didn't know how to make my juice less watery, as was my main complaint, so I added what I thought was flour to the mix. It was yeast...yeast plus grapes plus sugar equaled alcohol, and my father was arrested for allowing a six-year-old to distribute wine to other children. I've never, ever lived that down. Ever...Please don't air that! It was horrible!"

"""

Wow! That was shocking! Who could have seen that coming? Us, of course! Now with that advantageous motivation out of the way, how will Courtney stay active and hyped up to fight for her life? Will the Deep-Blue Massacre result in untold casualties or will it be one big flop against Noah's Impenetrable Wall? Is Heather going to die, or will Izzy and Harold have yet another epic stand-off? Find out next week, same time and place, on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	54. 2Fort 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

This match starts where all the action is, like any good action-oriented reality show would. Except the cameras don't start out by following the Red as they charge into the Blue base with their teeth gnarled and grit, ready for a battle to decide the next few hours of the entire war. Instead the scene begins at the empty Red base where Harold silently stalks through the corridors of his home base with his hand held tight on the grip of his sword sheathed across his back and a dagger in hand, ready to throw. He searched high and low to find nigh a sign of the enemies he knew were here. He hadn't searched in any actual high spots yet, however, because he knew that no one could go up to the upper levels with the ramparts blown to bits.

Of course, he was wrong about that.

"""

"I have a super-keen sense of tracking" Harold said. "I could doubtlessly hunt down my adversaries, no matter where they go, in real life. Unfortunately for me, in this virtual world, the essential clues for tracking are never present, even in the most obvious situations. I mean, of course, things like actual tracks."

"""

Harold stopped in the middle of the open four-way divergence where the sewer path opened from, where the thin hallway leading out into the open ramparts and the adjoining room that also led outside met and where the wide path under the square hole led to the bridge. He looked around, squinting so hard that his eyes nearly caught fire from the sheer amount of withheld tension he fostered. There was a faded trail of digital blood that stopped just short of the four-way divergence, leading Heather to be able to go and hide away in any of the four directions.

"Harold!?" Courtney called, jolting Harold out of his trance.

"Yeah?" Harold replied.

"Are you still at the base?" she asked.

"Roger" Harold replied, full of duty. He already knew where she was going to send him, so he began running.

"Guard the intel" Courtney ordered. "We may have just killed Heather but I haven't seen Izzy in a while. It's starting to bug me." A huge explosion muffled the radio with static and startled Harold yet again. Back in the Blue base Leshawna had provided Courtney's team with the first major obstacle, one which had already claimed Tyler, Geoff _and_ Bridgette in a bloody, loud explosion of eight sticky mines that lay just around the corner leading into the main intel base from the spiral walkway. With a grin Leshawna back-peddled to reach the main room once more as she reloaded. Duncan came around with his own weapon and blew Leshawna several steps back with a well-timed explosive from his own higher-powered gun. She scattered to rise back up and ran into the main room, out of sight.

"Damn" Duncan cursed as he reloaded the shot he just used. The rest of the Red team was gathered. Eva and DJ, Courtney and Duncan were all that was left to continue the charge. That didn't seem right. Courtney reengaged her earpiece and tuned out the static that it had set itself to.

"Zeke" Courtney called, hearing a muffled amount of machinery in the background of the other end. No response. She called louder. "Zeke!"

"We're here, ma'am" Katie replied on Zeke's behalf. "The turret got shark-guts all over it."

"I'm here" Zeke said with a great strain. "I'm trying to carry the turret up the steps....it's heavy!"

"I'm not helping you" Sadie said sternly. "You need to learn what being a real man is about! Get up those steps!"

"Don't torture him" Courtney said. "If his back breaks he could die, or at least get heavily damaged, and we can't afford either to happen right now. Both of you get down here instead to join us. We need more power until Geoff, Bridgette and Tyler get back."

"Where'd they go, eh?" Zeke asked. "Potty break?" Sadie slapped him on the head and Katie chided him.

"Obviously they died!" she said. "Pay attention more often!"

"Just hurry up!" Courtney barked. She changed the channel to a private broadcast, specifically for Harold. "Harold, are you doing your job?"

"Of course I am" Harold answered. "I had a hard time getting into the battlements room without any stairs."

"Aren't you some kind of acrobat?" Duncan asked.

"A ninja" Harold corrected "is hardly a simple acrobat. A ninja is a warrior above all others, a way of life suited only for the truly powerful and purposed. A-" Courtney cut him out. Duncan snickered. A rocket blast roared at them. Eva jumped in front of it and punched the rocket away wither her bare fists. Justin was shocked. Eva was holding her ground and clutching his fists in front of her chest.

"Bring it, pretty boy!" Eva shouted, blushing slightly.

"""

"Okay" Eva admitted, "I may still be vulnerable to Justin's looks, but I can control myself a little better. I don't get all swoony and girly around him. Instead, I concentrate on turning that stupid feeling into hatred, just like Courtney does, and it works. That girl should be a counselor."

"""

Justin retreated to warn his comrades all huddled together and healing under the long-reaching beams of Noah's super-dispenser ammo distribution and healing system. The turrets acted as weaker extensions of the powerful core dispenser unit. He ran in and hid behind the desk where he had already saved his own spot.

"No one told me" Justin began "Eva could deflect rockets with her fists!"

"Can I do that too?" Owen asked, looking at his balled-up fists.

"No reason not to try" Gwen said with a shrug. "We're basically immortal in this room."

"Basically is not 'literally'" Noah said to remind them. "Just stay near the turrets or the center of the room to get healed. Even then, you're not going to out-do Eva's gun. Our main priority is keeping them away from the intel and out of the room unless they somehow build up a good enough uber charge to actually get the intel."

"Then keep them in" Gwen said.

"Hopefully" Noah continued "the turrets will still function and at least one of us will still be alive to finish them off, Heavy and Medic at once."

"That's really an ideal scenario" Cody said in a slightly argumentative tone. Noah glanced at him and saw him grin nervously and go back to swiftly cranking the buts and bolts of his turret.

"Agreed" Noah said, surprising Cody. "I guess we'll just need to be a little lucky."

"What about heather and Izzy?" Gwen asked. "What if Harold finds them over there?"

"They won't have much trouble" Noah said. "I think we should be a bit more concerned about the reinforcements en route and hope that Zeke's back actually does break."

"This doorway's set up" Leshawna said, stepping away from her handiwork of covering the inside of the doorframe with her grenades."

"I'm all aimed up" Trent said, leaning back with a leg pressed against the desk in the farthest corner that looked down the left hallway.

"Turret's ready" Cody said. He turned around and checked his dispenser as well. "Dispenser's up too."

"Owen" Noah called. He snapped his finger and pointed over to the dispenser. Owen saluted and ran over. Now he was being healed and supplied at once. Gwen went near Trent behind the desk and pulled up her sterile mask, but not before giving her sharp-shooter boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. Justin looked over his shoulder and turned forward with a disgusted defeat. Lindsay hid in the corner opposite the intel desk with Beth, both looking to the different hallways while Noah stood closer to the middle of the room than anyone. Leshawna was prepared to lure the Reds into her trap with one foot leading her body out into the right hallway.

"Alright" Noah said with a smirk. "_Now_ we're ready..."

* * *

Izzy and Heather stalked slowly down the spiraling walkway of the Red base, facing no resistance at all, and made their way to the metal floor of the intel room. Izzy glanced from side to side madly anticipating action with her flamethrower equipped. Heather lagged behind, dragging herself along with her weapons all sheathed so she could continue with her single digit of health without falling over. She was bleeding quite steadily from her head but was able to stem the flow of blood at least slightly by wrapping her forehead with a torn strand from her dress. Blue didn't soak up red blood too well, though, and she was quickly fading.

"Wait!" Izzy commanded, holding a hand to catch Heather's head. "The intel is inside...but not much else. You need to heal if you are to return to base safely."

"Why don't you take it?" Heather said. "I can hold Harold off for...a few seconds at the most. That's enough of a head start for you to get somewhere safe, right?" Izzy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Honest suggestions from a sincere, team-based stand point coming from Heather!? She actually raised her mask up over her head and blinked at Heather, who looked dead standing, all covered in her seeping blood.

"""

"I couldn't believe it!" Izzy exclaimed. "Heather's never been nice! Maybe the voices in my head were right! Clarabelle was right all along! People can ghance! That means my second ex-stalker didn't have to kill himself after all! He could have changed!....um....Well, that's a bit depressing...but, oh well! They had brownies at his funeral, so it was all cool!"

"""

"Uh..." Izzy groaned with uncertainty. Heather snapped out of what seemed to be a tired trance and shook her head. In the near-death stupor her senses all seemed to be heightened. She could feel the cool air stinging her skin, she could hear the feint and distant whirs of mechanical joints as the cameras followed her cinematically, she could see the very metallic grains in the floor and she could smell terrible cologne. A factor that had never really been prevalent before, a scent that had long since gone unused in the smoke-and-mortar charred battlefield she fought on. Now she turned with a sharp angle, drew out her blade and blocked an invisible sweep made by Harold.

"Gah!" Harold groaned, pushing his sword through her block and pinning her blade to the wall, missing her neck. "You cheater! How'd you know I was there?"

"Anyone can tell" Heather began mockingly "when you walk into a room. Even if they were blind and deaf all they have to do is stand downwind and they'll know when you take a step in any direction!" Harold blinked at her with confusion then sniffed at his pits and blinked neutrally, trying to figure out the main problem.

"_Blue Team has picked up the intelligence!"_ Chris announced. Izzy came bolting out with the briefcase strapped to her back and her ax brandished. Heather rolled away, stole the backpack from her very back and let Izzy replace her with a screaming charge, bearing her ax overhead and her fanged teeth glaring. Harold retreated and blocked one of her attacks. She pushed him back and kicked him to take the fight into the spiraled hallway that led up while Heather limped over to the other set of steps with the intel around her back. She couldn't cloak or don a disguise, leaving her wide open to any possible attack, but she did still have a plan.

Just as Heather made it to the peak of the stairs, not only did Izzy and Harold come tumbling down into the court yard, blows still exchanging rapidly, but Geoff and Bridgette came together from the battlements to find and terminate Heather. She hid in a blind corner, away from Geoff's vision, and hoped to wait out the worst.

"Harold, dude!" Geoff called. "You need a hand?"

"No" Harold calmly called. He caught Izzy's blade with one hand and kept it there while the animistic girl lurched in with a hissing mouth. He took his right hand back and started making signs with it, a vague and left-fielded attempt at gathering his chi using archaic and somewhat anachronistic signs with his fingers. Then he thrust it into her gut sent a wave of pain up from her stomach and through her mouth. Izzy fell to her knees and clutched her stomach, coughing out loudly while Harold stood tall with his sword drawn to the side for a neck-splitting blow.

"""

"Man!" Geoff exclaimed. "That Harold sure knows how to keep all his cards out of sight, you know? It's like he's always got more than one cat in the bag...and then when he swings the bag, full of cats..." Geoff started trying to think of something better to say, but having nothing in his mind he simply shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"""

Izzy grinned, a wild and beastly smile with flashing white eyes near the ground. She wasn't hurt at all. She hadn't even lost a single increment of health from the attack. When she heard the metal singing as it swept through the air she rolled forward, grabbed the ground with her hands and straightened her whole body in the middle of a roll, leading into a tremendous double-heeled kick to Harold's unprotected, fuzzy jaw. The fight still went on with Izzy proving to be the more fatal foe.

"Screw it, man" Geoff said, throwing his hat back to Bridgette. He aimed carefully and fired a rocket right at Izzy's feet. Even with his own quick acting he was no match for Izzy's mad reaction speed. She repelled the rocket with a blast of air from her flamethrower into the wall that Harold was flying toward, causing splash damage that propelled him away from the wall with an explosive blast.

"GAH!" Harold shouted in pain.

"Whoops!" Geoff exclaimed. "Sorry, dude!" Bridgette suddenly spied a spy making a break for it with the case on her back. She turned Geoff's head by force and gave him notice to Heather's retreat. He fired another rocket, only to get deflected into a wall by Izzy once again. The mad-powerful girl was shaking her head with a monstrous glare aimed up at the soldier. Geoff's eyes shrunk back in fear and he reeled away from the open doorway.

"""

"Wow" Bridgette wowed. "She's good. I thought she was just crazy but she's got skills to back herself up. I'm actually kind of scared that we're against her, for once."

'""

* * *

The Reds waited for the rest of their team to gather with bated breath. Courtney was jittery and nervous, her hands wouldn't stop shaking. Her excitement and tension was at a critical level. Duncan was picking his nails with his pocket knife out of boredom. Eva was getting ready to make a preemptive move, just as soon as DJ's uber was charged. Suddenly, with a static crackle, DJ gave her shoulder a pat to signal her charge. She picked up her weapon and charged through the hallway on the Blues left, the one that Trent was aiming down intently.

"Let's go!" DJ announced. Eva slammed her shoulder into the wall and began running forward with building strength and speed, glowing bright red with DJ farther behind. Trent's gun was useless against her. The first push began! Eva charged head on into the fire, pushing against the five-fold rapid turret fire and ballistic bullet storm that came her way. Leshawna ducked away and shot grenades at her feet to propel her away. Eva just hopped over the annoyances and punched them away when the situation came up. She was barely into the room and already overwhelming the Blues. Just as she cleared the doorway, running through the bullets to the intel, Noah came behind her with Lindsay and began pushing DJ away.

"Sorry man" Noah said as he piled into him. "Nothing personal!" DJ, invulnerable to all pain and impediment, just walked forward with a straight look on his stern face. Noah smirked and pushed his shotgun into his belly and started pumping shots into him. Though minor the push force was still there and he slid slowly back in his gait, distancing his effective healing beam away from Eva.

"_Red Team has made the pick-up!"_ Chef announced loudly. Eva had the briefcase in her hand and began running with the fire with it. Now the tide of the battle had changed, and so did the Blues tactics. Now Lindsay made her move and ran behind DJ, only to sprint forward with her super-powered shoes and tackle into her, pushing her back. Eva began flickering with the warning sign of a deteriorating uber charge and desperately swung at Lindsay. She grabbed her by her blonde hair and tossed her away screaming.

"""

"Okay" Lindsay began in a hot rage, "that was not cool! Eva's a girl...ish, so she should know that you never, ever mess with another girl's hair. Even if you're at war, it's totally wrong!"

"""

Lindsay got up in a rage and charged forward, shooting her scattershot against Eva's skin and retreating before Eva could snag her again. Lindsay prepared for another charge but stepped over a Red grenade and exploded. Duncan was standing in the hall with Tyler beside him in defense, who winced over just watching Lindsay blow up. Cody tried to squeak out a warning but Duncan's expert-MVP-level demolition was too great for him to keep up with. The grenade hit the ground and spun right at him, blowing up in his face, leaving him in critical damage and his turret smoking and sparking. Duncan continue firing like that, spinning his barrel around as he launched each grenade, going just under the radar of Beth and Justin until the turret was already gone. Then he retreated, leaving Tyler in charge of controlled chaos as the turrets still focused on the newly vulnerable Eva.

"Out of my way!" Eva roared. Her back was being soaked by bullets and healed to barely keep time with her wounds. Noah managed to kill DJ with his shotgun and then turned to try and kill Eva as well. Combined with Trent's bullet and the Noah-nater system, Noah's efforts seemed useless and redundant. Eva was dead.

"_The intel was dropped!"_ Chef announced. Courtney snuck up behind Noah, hiding behind him to stay out of the line of his turrets, and stabbed through his gut with her sword, taking him captive.

"Ahhhh, crap" Noah groaned.

"Good boy" Courtney said. "Now, walk forward slowly so I can pick up the intel."

"You'll die if I die, you know" Noah said. "Without a gun to fight with, you can't win a sniper fight." Noah ducked his head and let Trent clip through her head at the last second. Courtney, in her final motion, activated her electric-charge in her weapon and fried Noah internally, killing him. Now that the main players were defeated the Blues moved to attempt to defend the intel. Leshawna kept watching both doors for intruders from any direction. Beth and Justin aimed at the hall where the intel rested, waiting for anyone to come through it. The turrets began shooting after some quick-moving target. Owen's gatling gun followed. Tyler ran as fast as he could to scoop up the intel, bent down to grab it and then tripped over himself and died from the concentrated rocket fire.

"Close call" Leshawna said. "Alright, until the big man gets back, I'm in charge. Let's get that intel secured. Beth and Justin, keep yourselves tight. Owen, you're doing a good job. Trent, you too. Gwen, let's team up and hunt down Duncan."

"Got it" Gwen said. She started healing Leshawna and followed after her as she went through the grenade-bordered doorway, abandoning her post temporarily. Duncan was waiting just around the corner with his traps and blew her up beyond Gwen's healing abilities. Ten MVP-strength grenades. Gwen retreated with her syringe gun armed, ready to turn on a dime once the shots came out. "Incoming!" she announced.

"I got it" Trent said. He aimed at the right hallway, prepared to fire upon whoever came through. Sadie and Katie had teamed up once more, out of necessity rather than pure friendship like before their fight, and took down Beth with a surprise rocket before turning on Justin. Sadie took her raw hatred for Katie that had all welled up from their constant proximity and saw no living work of art when she saw Justin. Instead, she saw Katie, the object of her current hatred, and fired at Justin with extreme prejudice.

"Die already, DIE!" Sadie shouted.

"We aren't giving up yet!" Gwen announced. She joined in the fight, shooting her syringe gun in a short arc that led over Sadie. Duncan jumped into scene and began spiking his grenades off the ground with high powered shots. Once they got up to the ceiling he blew them up, slowly destroying the Noah-nater defense system. Once the central unit was out of the way he leaned out quickly and shot directly at the turrets. Gwen changed her target and dove out of the way as Trent finished Sadie. Katie was still there and finished Justin with a rush of syringe bullets. She grabbed the case and started to leave but was clipped by Trent, nearly dead with a shot through the neck. Lindsay went chasing after Katie while Duncan fired at and killed Trent. Gwen started shooting back but Duncan dodged into the room and drew his pocket knife just as Gwen ran out of ammo. It was a close-quarters fight now, bonesaw versus knife.

"Come on, grim!" Duncan shouted with a charge.

"Bring it, punk-poser!" Gwen roared back. They both swiped down and caught each others attacks in their hands. Gwen made a swift kick to his legs but he lifted his legs over the kick and toppled her over onto him. She lunged forward and tried to get a slice in but Duncan caught her stomach with his foot and pushed her over his head. She regained herself faster than Duncan could get up and gave him a clean, powerful slice in the back. Duncan whipped around and sliced her throat. The final blow came in. Both combatants made stabs for each other's hearts and connected the attacks. Mutual destruction, a tie.

"_Red Team needs to get it together!"_ Chef shouted. _"They dropped the intel!"_ Lindsay stood over Katie, panting, with her gun smoking and a splotchy webbing of blood staining her gallant gala dress. The intel was down and safe...for now.

* * *

Harold and Izzy continued their stand off while Geoff and Bridgette ran down into the sewers to pursue Heather.

"Are you sure you saw her?" Geoff asked.

"Of course I did" Bridgette defended. "Would I lie about something this important?"

"I don't know" Geoff said with a shrug. "I mean, it's a war. Your eyes could have played tricks on you, y'know."

"They didn't!" Bridgette demanded. They ran down into the waters, ran on top of them, and interrupted Heather's healing process around the corner. She turned back with a snarl and drew out her daggers, running around the corner and throwing a cluster of knives to slow down the soldier and medic. Geoff took the shots, all of them that would hit, and suffered huge wounds. Heather grabbed the health pack that just respawned, jumped over the rail and began running through the sewers and out into the open water where now _two_ sharks were circling.

Heather stopped just short of the water's edge and saw the sharks thrashing impatiently, eager to fight and eat whoever tried to tangle with both at once. Heather snapped her fingers and made sure the intel was strapped tightly to her back. She jumped up above the water and thrust her knives into the wooden underside of the bridge, keeping herself suspended over the water. She took another dagger and another until she climbed across the underside of the bridge until she was able to grab the up-top side and climb up, just in time to be seen by an angry Eva who spun her gatling gun and fed the sharks with a lead-filled Heather. The Red intel was secured...inside a shark.

"""

"Damn her!" Heather exclaimed. "I was nearly in the clear! I was almost out of it. Those stupid sharks are seriously screwing me up!"

"""

Eva continued her charge, backed by DJ with Courtney coming soon behind them.

"At least ours is safe now" Courtney said. She pressed to her ear to try and receive a signal from her team. "Where'd the intel drop ,exactly!?"

"I know" Zeke exclaimed. "I was tracking Katie when she died on my dispenser-thingy monitor. The intel was dropped in the ramp-arts. What're those?"

"You heard him" Courtney said, breaking into a sprint. She leaped onto Eva's back and rode her up to the ledge of the Blue battlements where she latched on and pulled herself up with a grunt. "First to get the intel back to base will get a permanent positive mark on their war record."

"You keep a war record!?" DJ exclaimed in surprise.

"Every good commander has to keep track of their soldiers" she explained. She then went running off with her automatic equipped, prepared to handle any dangers that came her way. Geoff and Bridgette swam below, trying desperately to regroup while at the same time outracing the sharks that chased after them. It was pandemic panic in the middle of the warzone, demure regrouping far down below. The Blue team, still without Noah, worked desperately to regather themselves in preparation for the next powerful charge.

As for the main driving forces of power, Izzy and Harold, after much back-and-forth fighting they had finally reached a stalemate in the courtyard of the Red base. They both panted heavily, their melee weapons chipped from blocking and swinging and hitting the dirt instead of raw bone, Izzy's mask split in half and hanging by a leathery thread of its leather strap. Then, as if to reset the mood, it snapped and fell off, revealing her fiery eyes and demonic grin.

"I've been preparing for this" Harold said, lowering his guard for a moment. "Our most epic of battles. Observe, the efforts I went through to defeat you in all ways, including style!" Harold whipped off his suit and shirt, getting the shirt caught on his head and his arms but ultimately throwing it to the wind to reveal his newly tattooed back. Between his shoulder-blades there was a dragon eating its own tail in the shape of a sideways eight. "That is the mark of 'Oroboros', one who goes on forever. Izzy, unlike you, no matter how many times I fall I shall always rise up to the task of defeating you. This time, however, the dragon will descend to devour you, and you will not return!" He turned with a sudden snap of his finger and cross of his arms to see Izzy's face grinning happily and her knees bending up and down intermittently.

"Ooo!" she hooted, waving her hand up above her head. "I have one of those too! It looked awesome on paper. How does it look..." she turned around, preparing to disrobe as well, and then much to Harold's masculine excitement, she threw off her top and stripped down to her flame-patterned bra with her back turned. She wore, patterned into her skin, a field of roaring flames with lions, tigers, bears and menacing beavers wielding chainsaws and shotguns with gasmasks on. A symbol of death and merciless animosity infinitely greater than Harold's comparatively puny ink display. "...on my back, Harry?"

Harold squaked out a meager reply as Izzy turned back around, her belly and chest also marked with amazingly detailed flames all organized in the shape of a demon's gaping mouth with fangs distending down from her covered breasts and up from her belt line. She tapped her ax in her hand and adapted a stern yet entertained face once more.

"That's it?" Izzy asked. "Don't you know how to compliment **a LADY!?**" That dreadful roar signaled her attack. Taken aback by her 'feminine' display, Harold was at a disadvantage and failed to block the attack. He fell this time. Oroboros could not protect him from an ax to the face.

"""

"Hahaha!" Izzy laughed. "That prudent little Harry. He's never going to get used to seeing a girl's body. I wonder how he'll date? Maybe he'll just keep his relationships platonic until he's ready to see boobs or something...even then I think he'd just faint."

"""

* * *

Those...remarking words aside, the battle takes a dull break for the time being. No captures this time, but some very close calls. Can the Blues regroup in time to stop Eva and Courtney's relentless attacking? Can Harold live down the absolute embarrassment of getting owned by a shirtless girl? Who will control the match now that Noah's trusty, nigh-impenetrable wall has crumbled? Who will the next embarrassing confession be from? We will find out next time as the battle escalates, climaxing in a shocking twist for the fighters to wade through! The forecast calls for gunfire with a chance of explosion next time, on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!_


	55. 2Fort 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Metal clashing against hard, cold metal! Rapid attacks swung in daring, devil-dare time! Gwen and Duncan, the two hardest of cores, fought in the Blue base intel room, waiting for assistance. Gwen held her own against Duncan's razor-sharp switchblade knife, using her bone-slicing saw as a shield when applicable and making stabs with her auxiliary weapons, needles. Duncan gave no flinch or ground to her attacks and pushed her in circles around the room.

"""

"Duncan may not be big" Gwen said "but he's cheap. He isn't above kicking below the belt to win, and even though I'm a girl, it still hurts!"

"""

Duncan made a quick stab down at Gwen's shoulder. Gwen dodged the attack in a leap and kicked at Duncan's side. He coughed at the pain and Gwen recovered herself just as he set himself up to defend. She threw syringes that he expertly dodged, then through more in his path. With a grab of his hat he leaned back onto his heels and slipped on the smooth floor flat onto his back. Gwen started laughing at him but stopped as soon as he was back up and firing grenades at her. She dodged with leaps and bounds but the grenades bounced off the wall and rolled to her feet. Duncan grinned and blew her up, taking nearly fatal splash damage and getting blown against the glass wall. Even though he felt various things broken, he still managed to pump his arm in victory.

"Take that, Gwen!" Duncan roared. He struggled to get up and witness, out of the smoke, his demise. Lindsay came rushing in with her bat armed up and swung at his face, buckling his lower back against his shoulders and killing him with her super high-speed bat swing. With Duncan dead and the intel safely ported back, Lindsay loaded her gun and began her busy guarding.

"I saw you!" Courtney called from the winding halls she ran through. Lindsay jerked her head in her direction, then glanced at the newly recovered intel, and started a quick-footed nervous dance. She decided to hide in the corner opposite the desk and waited for Courtney to dash in with her automatic armed. She glanced around while Lindsay slowly crept up from behind with her scattergun armed. It was as much of a patience game as it was reflexive as Courtney spotted the intel and grinned. Lindsay stepped in to fire.

"I don't think so!" Courtney shouted. She spun around on her heel and slammed the butt of her gun into Lindsay's face. Then, when she was stunned, Courtney opened fire. Lindsay, the last real line of defense, was killed. The intel was picked up.

"_Red Team has got the intel"_ Chef announced.

"Damn" Izzy said, slinging her ax over her bare shoulder. "I'll need to pick up the pace here!" Izzy swung her ax into the wooden side of the elevated slope of the busted Red ramparts and hiked up the vertical wall in a single bound. She was up now and gripped her ax higher up along its handle for a better hold. She began running down the straight stairway towards the intel room, keeping her corners short enough to retreat behind and staying cautious about proceeding. She finally found her way into the actual room and ran for the empty intel desk.

"Awww!" she exclaimed in disappointment. "I guess I'd better just wait here..." Izzy therefore stood within the taped off capture zone, tapping her ax on her shoulder with one hand and keeping a balled up fist on her hip. It was a quiet wait, interrupted by the intermittent instrumental beeping of the ambient technology-rich background images of computers and even more computers. It was rather boring, not surprisingly. Izzy looked around and found the swivel chair behind the desk and decided to sit in it while she waited, lest the boredom cause her to drop her guard and lay on the enemy's own floor. So she waited, camping it out while the attacks continued up top.

Courtney, meanwhile, ran up the spiraling walkway with the intel on her back, keeping herself ever aware of her surroundings and ever cautious of the blind corners. Trent had respawned up top, in the ramparts room rather than the battlement room, and met Justin who guarded the central ramparts vigilantly.

"Sup" Justin greeted. Trent hit him with his machete, doing nothing but whanging him on the head, and sheathed it. "Due, what the heck!?"

"Sorry" Trent said. "I had to make sure you weren't a spy." Justin stood up, drew his shovel and slapped Trent harmlessly across the face.

"Oh good" Justin said with a handsome grin and stance. "You're not a spy either." Trent rubbed his cheek, looking suspiciously at Justin, and returned to his rounds in progress. He equipped his sub-machine gun and prepared to round the corner where Courtney was running. They met eyes for just a moment, straight across fro, each other, and a firefight began. Trent and Courtney both ducked back at the same time and drew out their respective sniper rifles. Trent made a continued retreat just as a bullet broke through the wooden wall where his head just was. Courtney smirked and advanced while Trent fled back into the spawn room while Justin watched curiously.

"Enemy" Justin muttered, assessing the situation instantly. He turned and aimed at the doorway where the enemy was sure to come from. Sure enough, without guarding herself, Courtney shot out and scoped the room while a rocket blew he off the ground. Justin didn't relent. He blasted Courtney until she was dead and the intel was dropped. Trent came back out with a disappointed sigh and holstered his sniper rifle onto his back.

"Thanks for the cover" Trent said. Justin gave his fist a pound and then a two-fingered salute as he went back to his guarding duties. An ominous stomping widened his eyes and shook the floor under Trent. "Uhh...." he groaned. Nothing good was coming, and it came in the form of terrible Eva healed constantly by DJ.

"That idiot better get this right" she growled.

"Trust him" DJ said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Sharks" Eva plainly answered. "That idiot's just smart enough to rival bait for a shark."

"Maybe" DJ said, trying to change things positively, "but he knows what he's doing. The least we could have done was help him out by moving a couple things around. You can't say we were wasting time!" Sudden bullet fire stopped their conversation. From the straight-stairway entrance Cody opened a rapid fire from his pistol, aiming primarily at DJ behind Eva. Eva revved her gun and frightened him into leaving while neither of them suffered from any wounds. Then, just as the air had calmed, DJ dropped with a sniper blast. Trent had half-descended the ramparts staircase and aimed his barrel through the cracks of the steps to kill DJ. Eva turned just as Trent retreated and aimed her gatling gun straight up. Her bullets tore through the wood and created a hellish upward rain of spears that just barely nicked at Trent's retreating back.

"Here she comes!" Trent warned with a bleeding back. He ran back for more health, leaving Justin alone once more. Beth ran in from the battlements to join him in defense while the stomping and stair creaking drew rapidly closer. Eva rounded the corner with a fist out and punched Justin's rocket into his face, blowing him across the room. The harsh impact with the wall killed him. Beth ran back and shot with her shotgun while Eva ignored the minor damage and grabbed the intel from near Courtney's bloody remains. She then turned another corner, dropped down, and equipped her gatling gun as she hit the ground.

* * *

"_Red Team picked up the intel again!"_ Chef announced. _"They can't keep their hands off of it!"_

"_More like, they can barely hold onto it!" _Chris added, joining the commentary. _"The Red intel is about to respawn at the base! Blues better get into gear and fetch it before the Reds can make a capture!"_

"Awesome!" Izzy exclaimed. "I'm right where I want to be!" She heard someone coming around the corner and ducked down. Zeke, accompanied by Tyler, ran into the intel room with a toolbox held between them. They heaved and threw it into the middle of the room where it began its slow construction. Zeke ran up and started tapping it to increase its build rate. Izzy ducked under the desk and lightly stroked the sharp edge of her ax in bloody anticipation.

"Here's the thing, though, dude" Tyler began. "For as crazy as a girl is, you and I still go crazy over them all the same. I'm just saying..."

"But girls are scary, eh" Zeke said in defense of his point. "They have all sorts of feelings and emotions they wanna talk about. I mean, who has those all the time, eh?"

"You" Tyler noted. "I have emotions too, girls just have more, I think."

"My dad said I didn't have emotions" Zeke attested. "Emotions are for girls."

"That's wrong" Tyler said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Besides, how do you think your mom and dad met, man? They dated. You've gotta get on the dating scene now, even if you don't get married, so you know what to look for eventually."

"My parents were married" Zeke explained "through an arranged marriage, eh. They said they'd do the same thing for me when I'm old enough."

"Okay" Tyler said, becoming frustrated, "you're like, tiny minority. That never happens in the real world, okay?"

"Well" Zeke began, "we're technically celebrities, eh? Doesn't that mean we have different rules to go by?"

"Yes and no" Tyler said. Both of them, unknowingly, had literally put Izzy to sleep, cuddling her ax and rubbing a deep gash into her face, treating it as a pillow. The teleporter was built, whirring and already in use. Zeke was blown back by the sudden spawning of Eva, who took a single step forward and captured the intel.

"_Point for Red!"_ Chris announced. _"That's their first one! Can they get anymore?"_

"Oh yeah" Eva growled, "I sure can...!"

"""

"Alright, fine" Noah said complacently. He started with a sigh to gather his thoughts and recall his truest, most embarrassing moment. "Way back when I was a young genius, but still a genius, I was introduced to the word 'esoteric'. Not knowing what it meant, I asked my classmate, who told it to me. At that point I was in an advanced class and the other students were still trying to consider whether I belonged there or not. They told me 'only a few people know what it means' and, like a sucker, I said 'so tell me what it means'. They started laughing at that point. They repeated the definition and I said 'so tell me what it means!' impatiently. That kept up until I finally got that the word _meant_ it had an exclusive understanding, and I was ostracized for the rest of the year...even though I got the best grades..."

"""

"That's one" Eva said to the boys. "Let's make sure another one is close by. Tyler, get moving."

"Right" Tyler saluted before dashing off.

"Zeke, come with me" Eva demanded. Zeke got up and ran behind her as she went charging through the base. Izzy woke up and reached a snaky arm over the desk just as she was sure she was alone.

"Where're we going?" Zeke asked.

"Cram it" Eva demanded, drawing her double-barrel shotgun. "I'm escorting you back to the Blue base so your crap doesn't get blown up too early."

"_Blue team pick up!" _Chris announced. Eva stopped just before reaching the straight staircase and turned. Zeke slammed into her like a brick wall and bounced off. Izzy was making a sprint with her tongue hanging out and her ax holstered at her belt with the intel under arm. She took the spiraling way up. Eva grit her teeth and growled. Up above, Tyler was about to turn around when Courtney appeared at the ramparts spawn and gave him a hand signal to ignore it and go for the cap. Reluctantly he agreed and Courtney set up for her ambush. Eva ran up the straight staircase and equipped her gatling gun, seeing Courtney in the doorway.

"Hey!" Eva shouted across the way. "You need a hand!?"

"Get moving!" Courtney called. "I've got it!" Duncan rounded the corner from the battlements and ran over to the door that Courtney guarded. She couldn't stop him in time to prevent his fiery death. The stream of blazing flames shot out, wrapping around his body even as he disappeared into it and fired his grenades. For all she knew, he was dead.

"""

"That thickheaded idiot!" Courtney growled. She planted her hands in her face and raised herself up with a rather shocked and pained expression. "Why would he charge ahead like that? He knows he can't win against Izzy. He's dumb but he isn't so dumb that he would go running head-first into a flamethrower...unless..."

"""

Izzy gave Heather, in the disguise of Duncan, a thumb up as he passed by unharmed but left his gun on the ground. Izzy used the fake to reload her own gun and scowled out an evil grin as she leaned up against her blind corner. The intel was properly attached to her back now and her animosity was raging out like a napalm fire. Courtney's hands actually shook from her projected fearsomeness but she paid the reaction no mind. In the end it was just a nuisance that she could kill like anything else.

Eva and Zeke left through the sewers and ran across the water where Geoff and Bridgette were already advancing around the corner. A muted explosion blew them both apart and Eva stopped. The sharks were still gone, between spawns, and the water was quite calmly placid until the ripples of the explosion came rolling out.

"Those" Eva began "were grenades, right?"

"I guess so" Zeke said. He looked up on his HUD and saw his structures were still up and running. Obviously it was a trap. Leshawna waited in the corner of lockers and other little devices in the sewers to ambush whoever wanted a piece of her with an array of floating sticky grenades. She cocked her gun and smirked, anticipating the next wave of eventual enemies.

"Bring it" Leshawna smugly said.

"""

"I know they don't wanna mess with me!" Leshawna arrogantly declared. "They're just posing against me, and I take down posers faster than they can stand back up. No one gets past Leshawna!"

"""

* * *

Izzy continued to make a mad sprint into her own base, still staying as cautious as possible, when she saw Sadie and Katie pop out around the corner. Izzy narrowly avoided a rocket and rolled back to the outside. Now exposed she looked around and considered her options. She saw Eva in the water, and struck that off her list, and she knew Sadie and Katie were coming for her from behind. She would have to go up, somehow.

"Izzy!" Harold called. "I shall slay you!!!" Izzy glanced up at the sun above where Harold dropped from. She rolled under him as he struck his sword down and made a roundhouse kick for his head. He ducked down and made an awkward kick back that connected and slammed her in the face. She stumbled back and readied her ax as he came back in for a swing.

"I'm flattered" Izzy said "but I'm kinda in a relationship already." She pushed forward while Harold held her back.

"Oh yeah?" Harold said. "You know you're crazy about me!" A poor choice of words maybe. Izzy and crazy was in itself an understatement, but saying it still invoked a certain rage within her. She grinned. She slid her ax blade along his sword and hooked his sword with the notched inner-curve of her ax and chopped both blades to the ground. While Harold set his sights back up to Izzy she pulled out her Uzi and shot him to death. It was an anti-climactic but necessary death. She took her ax, and his sword in her off hand, and turned to the opening where Sadie and Katie would surely storm. The camera avoided her face out of fear.

"Where'd she go?" Saide demanded as she looked about in a panic.

"I don't know" Katie said, looking with her with her own weapon drawn. Sadie and Katie eventually looked at each other and stared for a moment. First their eyes had a glare of anger, then a lulling neutrality, and finally quivering corners that filled slowly with tears. Their weapons dropped and a sudden embrace was shared as they started sobbing into each other's shoulders.

"I'm sorrryyyy!!!!" Sadie cried.

"Me toooooo!!!!" Katie answered. The whole lovely display of friendship kept its own comedic irony as the camera panned up slightly to see Izzy, with foaming fangs, glaring down from her spot on the wall where her blades kept her lodged into the solid concrete structure. It was like watching rabbits under a rock that was actually a bear waiting to feast...

"I completely overreacted" Sadie admitted.

"I know" Katie said, pushing away to wipe her tears away. "But I counter-overreacted way worse!"

"I haven't seen your hair worse since..." Sadie began.

"Since 9th grade, right?" Katie finished. They shared a hearty, friendly laugh and then a sigh. Both of their heads seemed to drift upwards at that sigh and they froze. Izzy pulled her blades out, wound them up and made two perfect swings as she descended.

"""

"I'm so glad we made up!" Sadie admitted.

"Me too" Katie said, primping her hair and straightening her outfit to better match her other half. Now they were identical again, in the same pretty poodle skirts and blouses and wearing the same corsages in their hair. Fashion twins once more, BFFs reborn. "I never even knew what we were fighting about, though."

"You were acting all ditzy" Sadie explained "falling all over the place and I felt like it was holding me back." Katie slapped her own forehead jokingly.

"I'm always doing that, aren't I?" she said. "Maybe I should take a walking class when this is over, right?"

"I'd totally take it with you!" Sadie said.

"Oh, that'd be great!" Katie exclaimed,

"""

Now they were dead, however, and Izzy swung their blood from her blades, licking a bit from the corner of her mouth and grinning. She dashed back inside her base, took her ax by the very end of the handle and jumped up to hook herself into the hole that led to the ramparts spawn area. She came up with the intel and gave a short wave to Beth and Justin who stood guard, and Trent waved to her as he exited the battlements. She proceeded down below with her ax-sword combo and a mad grin.

"Anything?" Justin asked.

"Not a thing" Trent said. He clicked on his communicator and placed a public call. "Anyone got a reading?"

"Nothing but nits down here" Leshawna said, twirling her gun as the fresh chunks of Eva and Cody floated in the water. "Anyone got a riddle for me to solve down here? It's gotten a bit boring..."

"Lindsay, how's recon?" Trent asked.

"I got eaten" Lindsay said with the hum of purgatory behind her. "I did see Tyler on my way to the base, though. That was pretty nice. We waved at each other and stopped to...um..."

"""

"I forgot" Lindsay said bashfully. "My relationship is, like, illegal because he's on the other team. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have said anything!"

"""

"No!" Lindsay suddenly said. Trent pinche dhis brow.

"Did Tyler die with you?" he asked, not at all angry or moved by her circumstances.

"We both got eaten" Lindsay said, then dreamily drifted and added "arm in arm and mouth to mouth..."

"TMI" Justin said. Lindsay respawned and walked out shamefully into the room with them. She was tracing circles with her feet, waiting for someone to give her a reason to keep moving.

"It's okay" Trent said. "If Gwen were on the other team, you can bet I'd take her shots."

"Wouldn't that be cheating?" Justin asked.

"She's worth it to me" Trent said.

"Awwww" Lindsay awed. "Alright, this time I'm going across the top of the bridge for the intel! I'll be right back!"

"Don't try too hard" Heather said. "I'm already down here waiting."

"You are?" Trent asked, listening in. Heather had also taken to being bored and twirled her sharp knives around in her fingers at the desk where the intel would spawn once Izzy planted it. The fresh, still bleeding corpse of Duncan was across the room with a look of pure shock.

"I've been here a while" Heather admitted. "Ask Izzy. She covered me."

"_Blue Team, Capture!"_ Chris announced. Courtney pounded the sewer wall with a face of sheer contempt.

"Damn it all..." she growled, the freshly killed body of Leshawna behind her with a smoking hole through the head. "That's 3-1..."

"""

"Alright" Eva said with a heavy sigh as she gathered herself. "I'm gonna keep this short. One time, back in junior high, I went weightlifting and drank a bunch of high-potency protein. It also had a lot of fiber in it for, ya know...anyway, I get to lifting and up the weights on my squats and...I shouldn't have to piece this together but I'm being forced. I crapped myself. Happy? It was the worst day of my life. I didn't go back for a week and got flabby over it..." She sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead with her hand. "I still get shivers about that..."

"""

Heather immediately picked the intel up when is came back and triggered a near aneurism in Courtney. This time, however, the Red team had good luck on their side. Heather watched her back as she made a break for the straight staircase, keeping herself aware of her environment, all but her front which stopped suddenly against what felt like a brick wall. She looked up and saw Eva revving her gun. It was the last thing she saw. She was shred to bits and the intel was dropped.

* * *

So far, only a few captures have been made. The battle intensifies as more and more revelations are revealed and the teams get ever closer to that ever decisive amount of time when the sun begins to set and brings on the night. Will Harold ever defeat Izzy in a straight-up close-combat match? Now that Sadie and Katie are friends again, will their resolve strengthen their team? Will the Blues superior defense be sung of in victory hymns or will the unstoppable Reds be the true victors. And...what of Noah? Where was he? Find out next week on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	56. 2Fort 6

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

In a dank, dark, digital dungeon Noah hung from the wall in shackles, shirtless and beaten. A splash of harshly cold water splashed his face and winced his eyes and cringed the corners of his mouth in pain, all of it reverting back to a total apathy afterward as he looked up with a smugly cocked brow and grin to the virtually suited representation of Chris.

"Hey there, pal" Chris said in his pally voice. "You're pretty smart, so I'll spare you the BS. We caught you cheee-tiing!" His singsong sentence only made the act of water-boarding Noah against a wall seem even more hostile as he splashed more water from his infinite bucket. Noah spat and flipped his hair around with a jerk of his head.

"I guess you did" Noah said with a grin. He was always grinning in the same way to Chris, trying to charismatically play him out, outdo his own counter-current of arrogance. It wasn't doing much. Chris was an immovable object in this world, but at least he could hold onto his own convictions and stay strong with his own air or defiant arrogance surrounding him. "I'm surprised your lacky little interns caught up with me in time."

"Oh, we sent them out to sea to die" Chris made passive mention of. Noah felt a slight loss of charisma but only showed it be stopping his smile. "We thought it was one of them, you know, on account of the betting pools."

"What's the Blue ratio at right now?" Noah asked. "Seeing as their leader just got pulled from the server..."

"About 3 to 1" Chris said swiftly. The Reds are more shooed-in now that you're gone, and if that happens..."

"Tie game" Noah said. "What's the play on overtime worth?"

"No one's bet on that yet" Chris said, rubbing his hands together. "It's just me and Chef right now. The whole crew's against us, giving us a stellar killing if the game gets thrown into overtime."

"And now it will" Noah said, figuring out the plan that was spelled out for him so swiftly. He sounded bored. "You must be very proud of yourself, scamming the already poor members of this godless production even deeper into the gutter. How much money could you possible get into a betting pool among the staff for a _reality TV show?_"

"Your team hasn't lost yet" Chris said, ignoring the derogatory comments, "but without a proper leader they're sure to fail. Owen's eventual hunger will go unsatisfied without a clever strategy to make up for his absence during an emergency lunch. Without someone to control Izzy through simple orders that she can bend as she wands, she'll go to all the wrong places at all the wrong times!"

"You mad man" Noah droned monotonically. "You've doomed us all."

"Come on, man!" Chris whined, turning around. "I'm trying to engage a a protagonist/antagonist dialogue with you here! Sound at least a little enthused about it!" Noah rolled his eyes and sighed.

"You're a horrible man" he said, still droning with boredom. Chris groaned and slapped his face with his palm. A sudden klaxon beeping sounded from the hallway outside and Chef threw open the door. He had a nasty growling snarl on his face that made both Noah and Chris jump a bit.

"Things are slowing down!" Chef announced. "Both teams are static! They're just enforcing and reinforcing their defense!"

"Nice" Noah said.

"Not good" Chris said while rubbing his stubble.

"What's bad about defensive priorities?" Noah asked. "The strategy is the best part of this game."

"Not in the ratings" Chef said. "It's always boring during the slow-down periods where the teams do nothing but build and camp. Viewers tune out!"

"Our betting pool won't have money" Chris thought out loud "if we all get fired due to our inability to force competition amidst unwilling teens. We're ruthless reality show staff!"

"That's the basis for your pay?" Noah asked. "Seriously, Chris, change jobs. Do infomercials instead. I'm sure you could be the next Billy Mays." Chris silence Noah with a swift hand and walked out of the room with a furrowed brow. When he was alone, Noah smirked and headbutt the air to bring up a digital control panel showing his Hax options. It was appropriately labeled as such, with the title bar of HAX_Operations at the top. He searched through his list until he found the 'noclip' code and gave it a swift headbutt as well. He smoothly moved through the chains and onto the floor where he deactivated the code and was suddenly equipped with a revolver hooked to a small LCD screen with his Hax display streaming across. "Nice" he said.

Chris and Chef went from their virtual reality under their helmets and into the actuality of the cockpit control room to fix the lull in the action they were faced with. They took seats in the corresponding team-colored chairs and cycled through the cameras to see what was going on. Indeed, defense had become a huge priority now. Gwen was leading the Blues in their own defense. She had teamed up with Beth, keeping her healed from a distance while she watched the corridors. Cody's turret faced opposite the desk, watching over the intel form across the room while he was safely sandwiched between it and his dispenser. Leshawna had hidden her array of sticky grenades around the intelligence itself, right under the spinning, hovering briefcase and on the sides of the desk that would be blind to whoever picked it up but lethal nonetheless.

Owen stood behind Cody with his gatling gun whirring and a fancy feeding hat on his head with straws swooping down to his mouth and connecting as one so he could slurp his delicious beverage in the keg he balanced whenever he pleased. Izzy waited lazily in the room, lounging on her side in the middle of the floor with her ax on her belt and her flamethrower sprawled out with her. Trent was up top, guarding the first floor entrance by switching from door to door and scouting as quickly as he could. Lindsay patrolled rapidly between the sewers and the ramparts where Heather, hidden under a pile of hay, lay in wait for her prey. Justin was on the ramparts as yet another defense, occasionally firing a shot to signal to Trent that all was clear by shooting down at the sharks below.

"What's the deal here!?" Chris demanded. "They're just standing around, waiting! There's no action, no intrigue!"

"That's no better then my team" Chef said. "Bunch of lazy good-for-nothings!" The Red team had taken a much more suppressive defense by boarding up the two front doors (literally, with wood) and guarding the other entry points with incredible patience. Tyler, Eva and DJ waited for a word of offensive command at the sewers while Harold stayed down below to stop any intrusive attackers alone. Courtney and Duncan guarded the rampart area, Duncan from the spawn area and Courtney across the way from the straight stairway. Zeke, Geoff and Bridgette were down below guarding the intel which Duncan had trapped with a proximity mine. Sadie and Katie made occasionally patrols through the room and the other lower level halls as mobile sentries. It was a simplistic, moving defense that the Reds wouldn't let up and a great offense already in mid-motion.

"Get a move on!" Chef shouted, pounding the metal console desk. "Come on! Ratings are dropping each second you're standing around doing **NOTHING!!!**"

"Easy big man, easy" Chris said, patting his back as the terrifying man growled panting breaths. "We can't legally tell them what to do...but we can legally screw with them." The two villainous hosts shared a menacing smirk as Chris reached down to flip a switch and type a string of commands into the console.

* * *

In the game, there was a foreboding shudder of the land and a drastic drop of temperature and pressure. The clouds moved in to block the sun and rain began to fall.

"_Guess what time it is!?"_ Chris announced. Fearful gasps rang out in perfect synchronicity as the rain led into a full on torrential downpour, complete with the violent streaks of lightning and loud, roaring thunder. _"It's MONSOON SEASON!!!"_ The sharks looked up with evil grins and licked their fishy lips. As the rain continued to pour the water rose and flooded the sewers. Harold ran out and up the steps, outrunning the water as it climbed the stairs after him, and Lindsay made a sonic sprint out of the room only to stop dead against a wall.

"A flood!?" Gwen exclaimed. "Are you kidding me!?"

"""

"I thought Noah took care of those stupid things!" Gwen exclaimed. She then took a pause and a moment of thought. "Then again, Noah never came back. I wonder what happened..."

"""

"Damn" Eva cursed.

"Don't be totally discouraged" Courtney said. "We may still have an advantage in this kind of weather!"

"How so?" Harold asked. "The sharks are even closer now. Who's to say they won't just start eating the bridge if we try to cross it?" A massive flash and roar of thunder cut him off and flooded the radio channel with static. Courtney tried in vain to contact her team for a few seconds until the communication went back on.

"What was that!?" she demanded.

"_Wouldn't want everyone to get too attached to their leaders"_ Chris said, _"so from time to time a bolt of lightning will strike on the telecommunications dishes located at the tops of your bases and screw up your com-links."_

"No fair!" Courtney bellowed. "I call technical foul! This is a game of strategy! How can we strategize if we can't stay in contact!?" Courtney became so flustered that she began shooting at the loudspeaker in the corner of the wall with her Tommy gun.

"_Calm down!"_ Chef announced. _"The team leaders still have the option of retracting the receiver node from the roof to prevent it from getting hit, but it will reduce the radius for making calls to limit it within the team's own base only."_

"Wow" Gwen said, looking at the PA speaker. "That's really cheap, annoying and underhanded of you to do...I can't help but be a little ashamed that I didn't see this kind of thing coming."

"""

"I did" Heather said in a warbling soprano. She laughed haughtily and brought a knee up to her hands. "I'm always in step with Chris and his crazy antics. I've been absorbed by the body of wisdom that is reality television, and I had anticipated this twist long before it was actually implemented. After all, in a hot and dry desert combat situation, what's more annoying _and_ unexpected than a flash flood? And sharks?"

"""

To such an end Heather ran for a spawn room and immediately changed into a sleek, all black wetsuit with a Blue V-shaped visor over her eyes. Her knives stayed on a belt across her chest and her sword stayed sheathed across her back while her digital watch was under a protective layer of touch-activated, water proof material where all of her stealthy commands could be triggered. She ran for the ramparts, stopping to watch Justin flip his wet hair and gaze at his rippling, glistening wet abs in astonishment for just a moment, then she made a long leap into the water below and swam below the sharks that circled above.

"Hey guys" Justin called to his team, "Heather's going on the offensive. Should we change up the operation soon?"

"No way" Gwen said. "We've got the lead right now. We're three up with only eight captures left in the entire day."

"It's barely been over an hour" Cody noted. "At this rate we should be done well before dinner, let along nightfall."

"Mmmmm" Owen moaned, "dinner. Chicken Pot-Pie Lasagna!!!" Izzy reconnected his feedtube with his mouth and he slurped the hunger-satiating liquid, remaining calm and collected and most importantly focused.

"Let Heather go" Gwen said. "We'll maintain radio silence with her to give her an advantage."

"Maaan" Izzy whined. "I wanna go too!"

"Your gun wouldn't work right" Cody noted. "It's raining cats and buffalo out there. The only way to effectively take on the offense is to use your napalm and that runs out too quick to be useful."

"Oh yeah" Izzy said as she fell down to her butt on the floor again. She yawned and curled up with her ax, cuddling it into her face, and began resting. Gwen gave her a quick heal as the ax slice in her face had taken a thin slice of her health away.

"Yo Gwen" Leshawna said, popping up from the desk. "Why don't you take someone and lead an offensive front while I stay here and manage defense. We can take the receiver on the roof down while we're at it to keep communication smooth."

"That's a good idea" Gwen said. "Alright Beth, let's go. Leshawna, you're in control here."

"Yes, ma'am" Leshawna said with a snappy salute. Gwen and Beth ran out for the straight staircase while Leshawna hid back behind the desk with her regular grenade launcher out and her hand steadily placed on the trigger for her mines.

"""

"That's right!" Leshawna said, puffing out her chest. "Nothing's gonna get by me now! No wall's gonna fall while Leshawna's in charge of it! You can consider this base on lock-down!"

"""

"Alright team" Courtney said, hailing her forward offense, "it's time. Proceed across the bridge with extreme discretion and storm the Blue base. Leave whatever survivors you want, just take out their legs first so they can't chase you down."

Eva, Harold, Tyler and DJ all got ready to charge out into the sheets of solid rain. The sharks made dips with their sleek fins up and back under the water, circling and ducking under the bridge, waiting for a meal to pass by. Eva revved her gatling gun, Harold checked his knives and pressed a button on his fedora to activate an umbrella to ascend from within his own hat. DJ checked his uber gauge, which was full, and Tyler did stretches until he lost his balance and fell forward.

"Alright" Eva said, "this is gonna be simple and quick. Tyler, you go out first and break through their defense. Harold, you go up top if you can. Me and DJ will go straight through and help Tyler clear a path once he's taken care of the stragglers above ground."

"Got it" Tyler said, flashing his affirmative thumb up. Harold gave a nod which shook his umbrella hat and made it jiggle on the thin metal stilts that held it up. Eva glowered at the novelty item, stopped her gun and snatched it away, provoking a girly shriek from Harold's throat. Eva leaned in and got in his face, which had once again shifted to that manly and confident sternness that he was used to wearing.

"You've got one job to do" Eva said. "Kill Izzy. That's it. Anything else you do is unnecessary."

"Extraneous would be better" Harold noted "because anything else I do would still benefit the team but in a manner that was not previously designated as my purpose and thus would be over what is needed, not completely uneeded."

"Oh" Eva grunted. "Right. Anything else you do will be _extraneous_, and we don't need anything extraneous happening. Got it?"

"You can count on me" Harold said with a salute. Heather invisibly crept past the gathered fighters, making her way silently and stealthily to the ramparts in her super-spy wetsuit. She had perfectly circumvented their modest defenses and was now in the perfect place to cause some mischief. She grinned under her black suit just as a cache of grenades spawned in the wide room that led to the ramparts. A perfect opportunity.

The Red offensive team charged into the rain with Tyler leading the way and Harold doing a ninja-grade acrobatic flip from the ground to the wall and finally up onto the top of the bridge where he became invisible and stalked through the rain as a ghost. Justin saw the charge coming and reported it just as a blast of lightning shook the sky and shot to the Red receiver that hadn't gone down yet. As a result, the team was momentarily deaf from static.

"Copy Justin" Gwen said, receiving his call just as she and Beth came to the ground exit. They ran to the door and delivered a well-placed rocket to Tyler's feet. He was tossed up, the entire bridge shaking, and then slammed back down with his foot thrust through the rotted, soaked wooden boards.

"Ah, dang!" he exclaimed. Eva stopped a step behind and prepared to help him out, but she was too late. A shark with its huge gaping mouth wide open, burst up and gulped Tyler into its jagged jaw, startling the hell out of him and DJ. "...mommy..." he whined. The shark closed its mouth gingerly and fell back into the water. Tyler died soon after, an icon of a shark around his body as the cause.

* * *

"Fire on the Bridge!" Gwen shouted. Justin gave her a nod from up top, following her pointing and commanding finger and Beth was close enough to hear her. They fired at the bridge, hoping to capsize it while Eva and DJ were still hopelessly floating and wetting their feet to the chaotic waves. Harold made a desperate, flying leap over to the ledge and grappled onto it with both his hands and a helpful dagger, then attempted to drag himself up, ducking back down when Justin shot a rocket straight for his face.

"They're trying to take the whole thing down!" Eva exclaimed. She stomped her foot to the floorboards, making them creak, and revved up her gun. Gwen pulled Beth aside and forced a retreat back into the building while Justin finally managed to get the roof broken away. It collapsed on Eva who merely shrugged the wood away and tore through it in a rushed advance. A shark chomped the section of the bridge she was just on, effectively cutting the whole structure in two. Eva made it to solid ground and proceeded, unhindered, into the Blue base. Justin was taken out while he reloaded and a new Justin, Harold in disguise, rounded the corner just as Gwen and Beth came up.

"Hey girls" Harold greeted in the guise of Justin. Gwen stopped healing Beth, drew out her bone saw and made a running stab through Harold's chest, disengaging his camouflage and doing massive damage.

"""

"Wow!" Beth exclaimed. "Talk about great instincts! Gwen spotted Harold even in his perfect Justin disguise. It was kinda sad at first, watching Justin die like that, but the fact that it was really Harold sort of softened the blow."

"""

Gwen pushed Harold's dead body back as it morphed back as an empty shell and swiped the blood from her saw.

"How'd you know!?" Beth asked, all full of wonder and idolatry.

"Huh?" Gwen asked. "I didn't. I just thought, you know, he might be a spy so I stabbed him."

"Oh" Beth said, looking dejected but still trying to remain optimistic. "That's good...keeping your guard up is important!"

"I'm surprised he's already dead" Gwen said, noting his oddly limp body. "It wasn't an instantly fatal attack. It wasn't even a critical hit..." The truth was that Harold had used his last ditch cloaking maneuver, the same one Heather used earlier, and left his illusion of a body behind while he took on the guise of Trent and ran over to the battlement spawn point with his sword gripped tight. He only had one health left, so he couldn't be caught until he found health.

"""

"The key to being a spy" Harold explained "is not only a mastery of the intrinsic and deadly arts of the ninja and the various ninja off-shoots, but a keen awareness of one's self in the world. You must move with the quickness to avoid the world's eye and duck into cover as quickly as possible to lie and wait for the next opportunity. It requires a certain quickness...a ninja speed."

"""

Meanwhile, the other ninja, Heather, had expertly crept past the forward defenses and was now stalking after Sadie and Katie, not even bothering with her stealth. They were too busy chatting and gossiping away to notice the obvious black figure tip-toeing after then with a sword drawn.

"Ugh" Katie scoffed. "Duncan and Courtney are seriously creasing me. I think I'm getting wrinkles from scowling over them."

"I know!" Sadie agreed exasperatedly. "It's like, get a room, you know? And if they did, it'd be a room with all of us already in it and they'd be like, 'get out' and we'd just be like 'no way, we were here first!' and she'd just throw around her stupid leader rank and force us out or something."

"Tell me about it" Katie said. Sadie turned around to face her, tired of talking away from her. Heather jumped out of view. "It's like they've never heard of being discrete."

"James knew how to be discrete" Sadie said with a very playful hinting tone. Katie began giggling.

"He couldn't be discrete" she said with a giggle "if it was spelled in permanent marker on his forehead!" That nostalgic little remark provoked a mad cackling from both girls over the memory they seemed to share. Heather saw that they were both keeled over themselves with laughter and took the opportunity, not to kill them, but to avoid them and move past them into the corner-turning hallway that lead straight into the intel room. She peeked around the corner briefly and saw just how well defended her objective was. From her belt of perfectly round, shiny grenades she took one and activated it. A holopgraphic clone appeared and Heather used it as a model for a moment to gauge how she really looked in her new outfit. Deciding she liked it, she wound it up and gave it a toss.

"Incoming!" Geoff shouted. Heather, an image of her that is, zoomed in and delivered a stern punch to Geoff's chest. It was actually the dense grenade hitting him and then pushing off with a mechanism to keep up the dummy's movement while Zeke's turret shot at her in total futility. The fake Heather flipped elegantly past the rockets and seemed to simply ignore the bullets. Heather set a timer for the next grenade and threw it clear across the room, into the straight hallway. The grenade activated and made the new image Heather charge in from the hall to deliver a swift kick at Bridgette's heel.

"Another one?" she said. She fell down and the grenade-controlled hologram stomped down on her throat. The grenade, in reality, was balanced and gripped with blunt grapples to her trachea. Geoff spun around and blasted his girl with a rocket, destroying the grenade just as Heather came in with the last on running along side her in perfect harmony. The fake picked up the briefcase while the other Heathers rolled away and attacked Zeke. The intel was picked up and, a moment later, the mines were detonated in a base-shaking explosion.

"Take that!" Duncan shouted. He leaned out from the metal wall on the battlements and made a mortar launch all the way over to the Blue battlements where he had seen Trent ducking in and out. They were engaged in a somewhat awkward battle, with the real Trent down in the entrance on the ground trying to snipe him out while fake Trent up top made his paces to keep up his appearance. Harold's plan was backfiring as the real Trent was cornering the battle-lusting Duncan.

Back down in the intel room the halls leading to and from the little room were pouring with smoke. The grenades had blown the entire room to hell and back. Heater was the only on undaunted by the attack. Zeke's body protected her from the aftershock, a favor she repaid by killing him and Geoff and bridgette under the shroud of confusion. Her clones had done an excellent job, and she only wished that she had more to use for her escape. She scooped up the intel and started walking through the smoke with her digital visor seeing through the smoke and picking up the incoming forms of Sadie and Katie. Heather turned and left the other way in a sprint, leaving Katie and Sadie to be the first living to the scene and the first to take the blame for letting it happen.

"""

"You know" Sadie began with Katie sitting next to her, "I'm tempted to just take my ears off before Courtney has a chance to bitch them off herself."

"Oh, totally" Katie said with a nod. "And hey, if we both take our ears off we can use that sign language we learned and be deaf buddies!"

"Oh my gosh!" Sadie gasped. "That's a totally awesome idea! It'll be like having a secret language!"

"Yeah!" Katie exclaimed in reply. She began signing to her to communicate that she loved her friend. Sadie mimicked her movements and widened the gap she made to represent it. Katie made a swooning and then a giddy giggling motion that Sadie joined her with.

"""

* * *

"_The Red intel is mobile!"_ Chef announced.

"Thatta girl!" Leshawna cheered. "You go Lindsay!"

"Go where?" Lindsay asked, stepping into the intel room with a confused look. Leshawna was startled to see her there and not carrying a briefcase.

"Wait a sec" Leshawna began. "You didn't pick it up?"

"Pick what up?" Lindsay asked. "Was I supposed to get us food or something? I think I forgot..."

"Foooooood" Owen lowed. His mannerisms, in the absence of solid foods, were becoming more and more similar to that of a cow. He just ate and guarded, standing perfectly still against the wall with his gatling gun up in his arms. Izzy continued to sleep, kicking her legs an rolling around occasionally. Cody flinched when she made barking sounds, which she did quite frequently and followed them with manic, tired laughter.

"Heather must have gotten it" Leshawna assumed.

"Seems that way" Gwen reported over the weak signal. "Heather's been gone for a while now, which means we should assume that Harold is somewhere here." Izzy woke up instantly and rolled up to her feet with her ax and a beastly glowering snarl equipped. Owen was the only unaffected by her instant transformation. He was used to it. "Just stay put and get ready. I think Eva and DJ are going to make another go for the-" The connection was cut off. With no lightning and the satellite retracted, everyone took a grim assumption to what it meant.

Gwen was indeed dead, a shot right between her eyes, and Beth died soon after from the swift cutting of Harold's blade. Courtney, who was soaked from head to toe and had an eel dangling from her shoulder, stood glaring in the rampart room.

"Took your sweet time" Harold said, swinging his blade to shake off the blood and sheathing it coolly behind his back. Courtney whipped her hair around and grabbed the eel to rip it off.

"Where'd those things even come from?" she asked.

"""

"Sharks on the surface" Courtney said "and eels, electric ****ing eels swimming between the sewers pipes. I nearly died getting here and the only thing I have to show for it is a twitch and hypothermia! That intel better be unguarded..."

"""

Courtney's face twitched, her left eyebrow and the left side of her mouth both cringing up while her whole head jerked to the left. She was glaring through the pain of the electricity and turned her head to Harold, who seemed to be in perfect health again.

"I need some health" Courtney said. "Do you have any medicine on you?" Harold nodded and pulled a bottle of pills, minor healing power, out that he had been saving. He tossed it and Courtney absorbed it gratefully.

"I move that we should wait" Harold said "until we have some more appropriate stopping power to back us up."

"Good idea" Courtney said. She reached to contact her team but remembered that their satellite dish was retracted and her communications would be useless. "Oh, right...We need to signal them somehow." Harold nodded and turned to the open doorway that led to the intelligence through the spiraling way. Lindsay came up super-fast and gave Harold a solid smash to his chin with the butt of her gun. A mach-speed uppercut! Courtney whipped out her automatic and began spraying and praying. Lindsay took a few hits before zooming past her and sliding into the respawn room to recuperate.

"Damn!" Courtney cursed. "That speedy little bitch!" Harold rubbed his chin on the ground and recovered just as a grenade box spawned in the room. Both he and Courtney caught sight of it and made a reach for it. They froze in a moment and deliberate, silently and mentally, who should get it. Harold's would doubtlessly be something to outmaneuver the Blues defenses but Courtney was the main offensive force at the moment. She would be better to have the grenades as a fighter...

"Take it!" Harold decided chivalrously.

"It's mine!" Courtney greedily exclaimed. "Oh, thank you Harold!" she sweetly said again. She picked it up and was equipped with three matte-gray cubes. She looked at them curiously and shrugged, making a break for the intel room just as Tyler came skidding in from the ramparts and Lindsay started pistol sniping from beyond the impassible threshold of the spawn point. Harold dodged expertly, snaking and slinking through the weaving pattern of bullets until she had to reload.

"Dude" Tyler exclaimed, "I'll take care of this!"

"Weren't you eaten?" Harold asked.

"I'm over it" Tyler said with a wave of his arm. "Just go! Help Courtney! I'll wait for you guys up here!" Harold nodded, went invisible and departed. Tyler took his place and, as Lindsay drew up the metal door, he engaged her eyes with the longing romance of a lover scorned. Lindsay smiled and began tearing up, then exploded forth with her sonic pumps and tackled him across the room, latching her lips onto his in the instant that she could.

"""

"Illegal or not" Lindsay said "we're still boyfriend and girlfriend, and our love is more important than a war!"

"""

The Blue intel room was indeed heavily guarded. A Demo, a Pyro, a Heavy and an Engie with a full sentry and dispenser. Moving past all those obstacles would be a trying act, but Courtney had the iron determination and mad willpower to do so. She had confidence in herself, even against the impatiently pacing Izzy who tapped her ax handle to her shoulder and wore her dreadful mask with no top to expose her amazing tattoos. Owen was completely brain dead now and was only a living sentry to back up Cody's static creation. Leshawna stayed awake with only her own sheer determination and force of will in the sheltered corner, waiting for an excuse.

A tiny plastic clack stopped the room and interuppted Izzy's pacing. The cube grenade stopped right at her feet and she leaned down to check it out. Two tiny red dots appeared on its surface, twinkled at her and then blaster her eyes with blinding lasers! Izzy was totally blinded, her eyes singed with powerful red beams, and she was thrown back in incredible pain.

"GAAAAH!! MY EYES!!!" she screamed. Her panic and pain forced Owen to snap out of his foodless trance and cast his gaze down in worry. Two more dots twinkled and blasted him as well.

"SWEET RONALD MCDONAL THAT BURNS!!!" he shouted. Cody hid behind his turret, refusing to look in that direction where Izzy writhed and struggled on the floor. Leshawna ducked out from her cover and then went back just as the lasers tried to hit her as well.

"It's gotta be Courtney!" Leshawna exclaimed. "She's using lasers!"

"Backup is here!" Justin announced as he came running in, his eyes closed. He was able to find the pain-inducing cube and gave it a swift kick across the room. It whined with a long beep and then deactivated itself. The coast was apparently clear and Leshawna stood up fearlessly.

"Thanks gorgeous" she said, untaken by his appearance and rushed by the need for recovery. "Get Izzy to the dispenser. We need her healed." Owen was rubbing his tearing eyes as the heal stream slowly repaired them. "I'm taking down Courtney!" Leshawna announced, cocking her gun. She made a short march for the angled hallway while Justin dragged Izzy into the corner and set her neatly on the floor. Once Leshawna was gone he just let her stay there and forced Cody to point out the obvious.

"Hey" Cody began, "she's not close enough yet. Aren't you going to-" decapitation. Harold sapped Cody's turret and his dispenser with an expert speed of hand and killed the engineer all at once. Owen had recovered enough to know when an enemy was nearby. He made a powerful punch that sent Justin through the air, only to land elegantly as Harold across the room, wearing a confident little smirk as he held his bloody blade. Izzy sniffed at the air and kept her burnt eyes closed. She could smell him and his terrible cologne, and to that she snarled a glaring grin.

"""

"Only one man here wears that much BO cover" Izzy said, waving her hand in front of her nose. "Jeez. It might be better for him _not_ to wear it, you know? Women are attracted to the primal stench of a hard working man, covered in sweat from working hard in the mines all day, or hunting the meat for the cave at night!"

"""

"Hey Harry!" Izzy gleefully greeted. "Nice to see you! Not that I can see, of course!" Harold twirled his sword in his hands and measured his distance. First, when the dispenser blew up, he took down Owen with his entire reserve of knives. Then, when Izzy charged he attempted to take her head. She heard the sword and rolled under it. She stayed low and made animistic swipes and slashes with her ax that Harold jumped over and blocked. The battle went on just long enough for Courtney to end her own work, terminate the mines that blocked the briefcase and swoop in to claim the intel.

"_Red team has picked up the Blue intel!"_ Chris announced. Gwen respawned just in time to hear it and charged down into the intel room, missing Tyler and Lindsay in the pile of hay.

"What was that?" Lindsay asked, pushing herself up.

"What was what?" Tyler asked. "Oh crap, Courtney! I've gotta intercept the intel!" He jumped up and started sprinting down after Gwen, but not before he turned and gave his girl a pleasant wink and caught her blown kiss.

"""

"War-love ROCKS!" Tyler exclaimed loudly. "We're totally gonna get killed if we get caught, but man is it worth it! The excitement the danger adds just makes it even better!"

"""

* * *

The pass was made. Gwen intercepted Courtney just as she winged the intel to Tyler who grabbed it and killed Gwen from behind. He sprinted away while Courtney made her way back down to the intel room to camp. Harold and Izzy were still fighting, a tooth and nail battle. Heather came in with her pitch-black suit and double-teamed Harold with Izzy, killing him with a huge slash down his back, Courtney tried to whip out another grenade but Izzy caught her scent and pounced on her, smashing her face with the butt of her ax until she was dead, allowing Heather the amount of time to strut over and plant the intel, looking like a sexy shadow the entire time.

"""

"Alright, man" Tyler said, pumping his arms to ready himself. "Let's do this! I'm gonna tell you why I'm afraid of chickens, alright? You better be grateful! Only two people in the world know this up until now! So, when I was a kid my parents took me to a farm, to see the animals like the cows and stuff for a school project or whatever. Anyway, I had a lot to drink before hand, I mean a _lot!_ Like an entire marathon worth of hydration. Eight juice packs, if I remember right. Anyway, we split off from the scheduled tour group because my old man thought they were blowing hot air the whole time, talking about business stuff at a farm or whatever, and I had to take a leak. 'Just go wherever' he said, 'who's gonna be able to tell?' So I went over as far as I could to a fence and pulled down my pants to take a leak. Along comes a chicken...looking for a worm...." Tyler took a break to hyperventilate and gather his composure to continue. "Long story painfully short, it found one, and ever since then I was afraid of chickens. Especially when they can jump up about waist high...ughhh..." His shudder and retreat into a fetal position concluded his confessional.

"""

Tyler made his mad dash across the ruined bridge, dodging the sharks as they made their leaps and jumping up to the battlements with a climbing hand. Trent tried to shoot him away but he had a much more pressing concern. Eva had emerged from the flooded sewer and was revving her gun just behind Trent. He ducked outside, amid a netting of unexploded grenades, and was blown to smithereens by Duncan. Eva continued to march onward into the Blue base just as she saw that Courtney had died.

"Figures" Eva said with a scoff. DJ had taken a moment to ring out his do-rag which he still wore despite the mafioso theme he played into as a white-coated doctor. "She jumps into a pit of lions and expects to walk out. What is she, a saint?" DJ smirked at the ascertain, more than certain that it was purposefully sarcastic. In any case he knew that Tyler was home free with no one to stop him, and now he would enter the proverbial lion's den where a true beast lurked and waited...

"Up you go" Heather said, pulling Izzy to her feet and throwing Courtney's dead body off to the side. "You okay there, girl?" Izzy rubbed her head, then her eyes which still had the most terrible stinging sensation. She was still blind, obviously, as her eyelids had been burnt shut and blistered orange and red. "I think you should try and find the nearest health pack."

"No!" Izzy exclaimed, shooting up a hand in defiance. With her eyes gone her other senses experienced a drastic spike in efficiency. She could hear and feel the stomping footsteps of Eva up above as the big girl began her march down below, and she could hear Heather's tight suit creaking to the rhythm of her breathing. "I like this! It's cool! It's like I can see the world in a totally new way...except I can't see anything! I'm like a blind samurai or something, or one of those slashers who hunts his victims by smell!"

"Couldn't you do that before?" Heather asked.

"Well yeah" Izzy said "but this makes it more fun because I'm blind! Hehe! Just wait until the next sorry little sucker comes knocking on this door to heaven. They're gonna find out that it only goes **STRAIGHT TO HELL!!! MUHAHAHAHHAAA!!!**" Her cartoon villainous laughter was abandoned by Heather who slipped out to make another run for intel. In the Red base, where there was no forward defense or interception, Tyler made a clean break for the intel room where only Zeke was working to reset the defense with a finger in his nose. He looked up and waved with his wrench as Tyler passed by and delivered the intel by slamming inattentively into the desk and flipping over it.

"Damn!" Tyler shouted. "That smarts!!!"

"""

"I'm sure this is just as shocking as it is unbelievable" Heather began with a great deal of worry in her voice. "When I was young, I was a totally fat, acne-ridden, unpopular trash-girl. That's what the girls used to call me, ever since I tripped and fell into the girl's bathroom trashcan. Trash-girl. There. Happy? Months of weight loss trials and surgery and the guilt form it all successfully repressed, now the whole damn nation knows my secret! I never did this to...what did I do to deserve..." Heather shut up and stormed away. She realized anything she said was a loaded question full of irony.

"""

"That's one" Eva said as she stomped down the stairs. "I hope they're ready, cause we're about to land number three!"

"Then we'll only be one behind" DJ said hopefully. "We might still rebound outta this." At his hopeful little whim they both ran through the halls and leaped over Leshawna's body. Heather watched them, invisible and heading up the spiraling walkway, and smirked under her black suit. Within that room there was a monster, blind yet powerful, and Eva was charging straight forward like a walking flank steak. Izzy heard her footsteps and grinned a fanged smile. It would be an epic battle indeed...

* * *

...but it will have to wait until next week! HA! Now we see Noah breaking free from his digital chains. What other dangers will he have to overcome to get back in the action. Can he return at all? Will the Reds make a comeback? Will Tyler and Lindsay abandon the war entirely and just lock themselves in a room together? Will Geoff and Bridgette beat them to that idea??? How will audiences test with Heather's new personality and her sexy black suit!?!?!? Find out next time on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	57. 2Fort 7

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Eva and DJ charged right into a trap, but it was an invisible one. The intel was unprotected on the desk, spinning above the blue piece, without a single guard in sight. Izzy hid up in the rafters, crawling around like an animal, sniffing at the air to find her opponent's and mark her route to battle. Eva's manly scent and DJ's frightened timidness registered strongly in her nose. Her ax was tightly gripped in hand.

"This is too easy" Eva said. "Get on the other side" she commanded. She and DJ rushed to the other side of the desk and ducked down. "There's bound to be some sort of trap or ambush waiting for us. I say we wait it out, see if some back up arrives."

"We're both MVPs" DJ pointed out. "If there is someone waiting, I could take the case, turn invincible and get it out into the open. Then, if there's someone out there, I can switch it with them!"

"You automatically drop the case" Eva said "if you go uber. It's a lame part of the game mechanics to prevent any cheap tactics."

"Then you can carry it" DJ said. "I'll take the bullets for you, no problem."

"That so?" Eva said. "I trust you on that, DJ, but I still don't think it would be our best plan. Let's just hang here for a bit until-" a sick fleshly slicing sound stopped her. She looked back and saw DJ, his face frozen with shocking pain, and the crazy girl who somehow defied gravity by suspending herself with her arms and her ax handle. Her legs were straight up in the air and her wicked smile was aimed right at Eva's head.

"""

"So much for trust!" Eva growled."

"""

Eva crawled and then quickly hopped away with her shotgun out. Izzy leaped over the first attack and stayed low to the ground, crawling on her hands and feet, darting about like a feral wolf. Eva unloaded both rounds, reloaded both shells at once and then fired again from her double-barrel. Izzy flawlessly evaded all the attacks and skittered into the hallway to plan her attack.

"You can't hide from me forever!" Eva shouted. She took out her gatling gun and secured the intel to her back. She was going to move out, regardless of what dangerous creatures were in her way. She stomped her feet to the ground and made a brave roar of battle. "Here I come! RAAAAAAGHHH!!!!" Eva ran through the hall, all the way to the spiral walkway and finally opened her eyes. No Izzy was in her path. Rather, that manic girl was behind her, calmly stalking in a brisk jog, following the smell of adrenaline. Eva sighed with relief and just reached the top of the flight when Izzy stole the intel from her back and fled.

"What!?" Eva exclaimed. She looked back and just barely caught sight of Izzy's ankle as she ran at full speed back to the intel room with the briefcase in her mouth. Eva growled and prepared to give chase but she felt a dull blast of pain at her back. It repeated many times over until she was dead. Lindsay's baseball bat was bent into a fractured U shape from the constant slamming, but at least she had won.

"Whew!" Lindsay sighed. "I almost forgot that Gwen was on _my_ side. I should have stopped Tyler...and Courtney when I had the chance! Darn it all!" Lindsay stomped down in anger. Izzy had already returned the intel properly, which sparked up a new event. A box of grenades suddenly spawned in the room where Lindsay was. Across the map another box spawned in the Red's respawn area. Lindsay made the move to pic hers up while Katie and Sadie 'fought' over who got the one at their base.

"You should have it" Katie said sweetly. "We could use the extra firepower in a pinch."

"No" Sadie declined politely, "you should take it. That way you could heal two people at once and we could make a better attack!"

"I say you take it" Katie said, now a bit more demanding. "You're rockets can't turn corners, you know."

"You can't heal two people at once without grenades" Said argued.

"Take them!" Katie said.

"You take them!" Sadie shouted.

"I'll take them" Tyler said as he made his way topside. The girls glowered at him and stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I'll take them" Katie said. "Thank you very much for offering them, Sadie. You're a great friend." Her manner of speech wasn't entirely sincere, but it sounded forced to focus her anger at Tyler and make him feel bad.

"No problem" Sadie said, "that's what friends are for." Katie absorbed the grenades and was equipped with a belt of glowing, Red balls swirling with foggy stuff. Katie started healing Sadie and beckoned for Tyler to follow.

"We're cutting through the middle" Katie said. "We'll get a start on storming them. Just watch out for sharks."

"I can outswim them now" Tyler said. "I know how they swim. I've picked up on their attack patterns."

"Whatever" Katie said. "If you die, we won't help you."

"We'll be too busy" Sadie added "kicking ass."

"Whatever" Tyler said, jogging after them.

"""

"Jeez" Tyler said. "Who gave them permission to be such royal pains, man? It's not like they're doing anything useful. Heck, up until now they were just a couple of bickering hens fighting over...some...kind of really good corn, or something. I can't do chicken analogies, man. They creep me out too much..."

"""

* * *

The digital dungeon revealed itself to Noah. A poorly, quickly assembled set of nearly endless walkways, staircases and blind corners, all build in a parameter without walls and a huge black void shielded by an invisible barrier to keep him in and other technical mechanics out. With his hack gun the dungeon was of little worry, but time was of the utmost essence and he couldn't just stand around and wonder on where to wander. He moved on instinct, straight forward, and took the first downward slope to his right.

"Well this is interesting" Noah said. "A whole bunch of nothing happening all over the place. The textures look like the interior of some lame, Gothic castle design. If they were going to make this gauntlet look as hard as they think it is, a more tech-savvy texture would have been better, like off-white paneled metal." His own thoughts aside, Noah made a dashing run down the slopes to the ground floor. There were only two walkways leading up in perfect gradient slants, the rest of the floor was open ground with no ornaments or obstructions at all.

"Nice designing" Noah said. "Top class..." He added a sarcastic nod to enhance the effect of his skepticism. There was one door, which looked painted and poorly textured. Noah approached it, aimed his gun and scanned it. It was locked, which was obvious, but it wasn't locked under any kind of object code. It was locked under an 'event' code, meaning that something would trigger the door to open. Noah drew his gun away and took to the other flight of stairs. He was constantly working on his hacking gun, making the necessary changes to his default ammo and hot-keying his commands for easier, streamlined use.

Once he passed a specific threshold he heard the doors open seven stories below.

"And here's your host! Of enemies!!!" It was Chris' voice. That alone was enough to send cold shocks through Noah's body and force him to fall to the ground. From the door that swung open a small army of Chris replicas with textured, pixeled smiles and automatic guns, all wearing stylish matching combat uniforms and cargo shorts appeared. They simultaneously checked their guns, checked their clips and robotically reloaded. "Aren't they a good looking crew of killing machines? Only one chance to save yourself before the flood comes!"

"Damn" Noah cursed. The Chrises split up, eight one way and eight the other, the full force of sixteen coming up the stairs, ever dividing themselves as the paths diverged and winded beyond their control. Noah made a brave and rapid climb up. He found the first floor where he started and took the only ramp leading up. He arrived to a flat area and was under gun fire from far below. He was in no real peril but ducked as he ran anyway, hoping these Chris androids weren't equipped with anything else that could go past his guard of pixel-thin texture walkways.

"Top floor" Noah told himself. "How else do you escape a flood other than by getting to the highest ground available?" Noah continued to find the slopes that led up to the highest levels, making sure his path didn't get intersected or divergent. He didn't want to suddenly be falling down an impossibly steep grade. Noah's blind rush led him near the top floor, where he stopped temporarily to plan, shooting the ground with energy beams around him, and scanned his surroundings carefully. He saw each ramp as an individual pathway, ignoring the overlay and the underlay and all other layers not related to his ultimate goal. He couldn't, for the life of him, which was still in danger, see a single ramp that led there from where he stood.

"Ah, crap" Noah sighed in exasperation. "Looks like I've gotten myself into a fine mess already..." Noah selected something on the control panel of his gun and stood up. He aimed to gun at his feet. A Chris drone came up the ramp and started charging at him with a shotgun, trying to get lethally close. The floor dropped out from under it, just as Noah planned when he detached the square tiles of texture from the surrounding structure. He was technically standing on a floating piece of pathway that wasn't attached to the others at all, and that was his main victory plan.

"Slowly" Noah told himself. "I don't want to kill myself in a stupid way..." He began lifting the entire structure up, the entire section of walkway, with the hacking power of his gun. He had free reign of all created objects in this game with that gun, though he lacked the ability to make any objects himself. He used that advantage to take over the kinetic properties of the floor and move it up and over like an elevator to the top floor. Then, as he hopped off, he disengaged the beam and let the pathway fall. It crashed against the other solid structures, bounding off of them and settling suddenly against several other paths. It had crushed two of the Chris' to death, and the one that fell had fallen all the way to the bottom...

"Up next!" a drone said as it pulled out a rocket launcher, "Your gruesome death!" It fired an erratic, spiraling rocket propelled grenade that snaked its way all the way to the wall where Noah was hiding. He was blown away by the shaking explosion and stumbled close to the unguarded ledge.

"Damn!" Noah cursed. He fired a desperate shot into the wall and made it ripple strangely. Then he fell. He braced himself for an impact, gliding just past all the walkways and seeing the pixel-faced Chris drones marching up the slopes. The ground floor was coming at him fast. It would be an instant death impact...

* * *

The teams were up again. The Katie-Sadie super team was making their way through the harsh rain and toward the bridge. However, Trent was up top and spotted them through his scope in the little sniping shanty at the top of his battlements.

"Sayonara" Trent lowed. A blast of thunder obscured his vision and deafened his ears. The girls were undaunted by the blast and pressed forward, hopping across the drifting, shattered bridge pieces to the other side.

"Watch out for sharks!" Tyler warned. A shark came up and tried to eat him again. He jumped and double-jumped away defensively, arriving at the other side with a solid plant. Trent started firing his automatic from above. Tyler ducked inside the base and blasted down Beth, who was pressed against the wall, waiting to snap around the corner. Justin got revenge with a point-blank shotgun to Tyler's head, spun the gun around his finger and blew on the barrel.

"""

"I learned how to twirl guins" Justin reminisced "when I was doing this photo shoot. They said they wanted authentic cowboy. Well, guess who redefined authentic that night? Every time I wear chaps, people just have to ask how many acres of ranch I own. Heh. It's tough being pretty..."

"""

When the smoke was billowed away Justin died from a stab in the back made by invisible Harold. He returned to sight and ran off, jumping up through the square hole that led to the Blue spawn room where Owen and Gwen were waiting. He turned invisible and began stealthily running but his presence was announced by the soft crush of hay under his feet.

"Fire!" Gwen ordered. Owen began spraying bullets randomly, hitting blood from the thin air and killing Harold with the element of counter-surprise. Owen pumped his arm in victory, but it was short lived as a rocket flew up into the room and startled him back to his guard. Katie and Sadie had made their way back in and went gun-to-gun against MVPs Owen and Gwen. They didn't last long and their damage was quickly healed.

"Should we move down now?" Owen asked.

"No" Gwen said. "This is working. We defend this spot and Leshawna can defend the other one. Cody's already got his turret up in the intel room and Izzy's down there with him."

"Do you find it odd" Owen asked "that the first thing she asked me to do was gouge out her eyes?" Gwen cocked a brow at him to test if her was serious about asking or not. "Me neither. I wonder if that's bad."

"Bad or not" Gwen said "she's better left to defense if she's going to be playing weird like that."

"So our offensive force is on their own?" Owen asked.

"Pretty much" Gwen said. "Both Heather and Lindsay have already proven how capable they are as individual rushers for the intel. We can count on them. At least, I hope we can."

"As long as we've got hope" Trent said with a shrug.

"""

"Idea for war song" Trent said, noting the idea in his mind, "'There's always hope'. It can be about the hardships of war and the pain of losing love on the battlefield...yeah. Yeah!...No, that's cheesy."

"""

Lindsay was making a daring dash of her own, swimming through the water and trying to maneuver away from the electric eels that were chasing her. What didn't make her task any easier was the schools of ferocious piranha that swarmed around the bottom and swam up to nip at her constantly. Still, with her super-speed shoes, she managed to frantically kick her way through the tunnels and out of the water with such force that she slammed against a wall in the Red base.

"Ow" she groaned. An invisible force pried her from the wall and set her up on her feet. Heather appeared in her stylish black skin suit and gave her a positive thumb up. Lindsay mirrored it, swaying slightly, and Heather was off, making a leap and a grab for the square hole that led up to the Red spawn area. The Reds, unlike her team, didn't have the great defenses and had no one defending the ramparts. She took the advantage and disguised herself as Courtney so she could engage in sniping without any suspicions. She ran out into the battlements, gave Trent a peace sign and dove into the roost area. Trent saw her and knew the plan. He leaned back and cocked his gun with a smirk.

The real Courtney, meanwhile, was down in the intel room with Geoff and Bridgette for safety and Duncan's proximity mines on the intel. Duncan himself was patrolling the walkways to and from the intel, making sure no spies or attackers were making their way in. He was just reaching the top of the stairs when Lindsay jogged into the ruined rampart courtyard. Duncan took careful aim and fired a grenade that blew her back into the room she came from. As she sat rubbing her head a violent volley of grenades fell and decimated her. Duncan wore a sick grin and started running for the other door, which he had built a ladder to for easier, more painless ascent, and climbed up to the other spawn room.

He dripped on the floor and shook his mohawk, straightening it with a quick comb of his hand. He made a break for the battlements and saw Courtney, whom he had just seen downstairs. Without a warning he began lobbing his grenades only to get sniped by Trent. Heather jumped from the window onto the bridge and intercepted a rushing Eva, alone, without a medic.

"Where's DJ?" Heather shouted over the rain. Eva just revved her gun at her. She smirked with Courtney's face, dissolved the disguise into a puff of smoke and leaped over Eva's head. Eva anticipated the assassin tactic and made a fierce kick from behind.

"Almost!" Heather said. She was on top of Eva's head, balancing her weight on her palms and swooping down to kick Eva right in the face. She then stepped on the face, forcing the giant girl to fall backward, and flipped back onto solid ground while Eva went through the floating bridge wood and sank into the water. A shark ate her swiftly thereafter. Heather celebrated with a victorious arm pump but was pushed into the water by DJ from behind.

"You!" Heather growled. "What are you doing?"

"It ain't my fault" DJ said "if the sharks get you. You better hurry!" Heather was shocked at this aggressive side to DJ. Shocked so much that the other shark swallowed and instantly killed her.

"""

"People might see that" DJ explained "and say bad things about me, like how I'm not really the kind of guy that I make myself out to be. That's a lie. I'm not just trying to kill her in some passive-aggressive way. I'm seriously just trying to help out my team, and even if I have to kill someone to do it I'll do it. I mean, it's just a game."

"""

* * *

"Sounds like we've got trouble" Courtney said. "Eva's down. I'm going up to take care of things. Can you two keep off of each other long enough for Zeke to get set up down here?"

"No problem captain" Bridgette said.

"Yeah" Geoff agreed. "We'll blast anyone stupid enough to try and get past us, no prob!"

"You better" Courtney said. She went off with her tommy gun drawn out and tried calling Zeke from purgatory again. "Zeke, are you alive yet? We need a turret in the intel room ASAP."

"Alrighty" Zeke said. Courtney ran past the spawn room door next to the straight stairs and Zeke ran right out behind her. He went straight for the intel room and accidentally intruded on Geoff and Bridgette in one of their many candid make-out sessions. They froze in place when they saw Zeke and casually parted to return to their defensive position. Zeke just shrugged it off, put on some goggles and ran to the corner to built his turret.

"How's it going, dude?" Geoff asked.

"Alright" Zeke answered.

"Cool" Geoff said, trying to keep the mood casual. "...cool."

"""

"I like Geoff" Zeke said "and I kinda envy him. It'd be pretty sweet to be kissing a betty like Bridgette eh? Wait...not betty. What's a better word for a hot girl?"

"""

Courtney arrived in the courtyard and made a dash through the rain and up the ladder where she met up with Duncan. He ran over and was about to stab her with his knife but she stopped him with the butt of her gun against his forehead just a half-step from a lunging stab.

"Heather's been through here, hasn't she?" Courtney asked.

"You could say that" Duncan said. DJ arrived, climbing up the ladder, and shook off the rain from his white lab coat.

"Hey guys" he greeted. "I got rid of Heather, but I couldn't save Eva. Sorry."

"No problem" Courtney said. "Team up with Duncan and make a rush. I'll defend from here. And watch out for Trent if you can. He's more than likely got some backup up there to cover himself."

"And what'll you do?" Duncan asked.

"Obviously" Courtney began "I'm going to take out their defenses from a range while you two do it from inside. Try and get a bigger force together before you rush their intel. Who knows what kind of defenses they've built up by now."

"Roger" Duncan said. DJ pulled up his white contagion mask and gave a thumb up. The boys ran out into the rain and dropped down to the ground. Trent prepared to duck out and fire but was scraped by a bullet shot by Courtney.

"Oh, I see" Trent said with a nod as he hid again. "Alright, Heather. We'll play them right into your trap..." His trusting nature of his stealthy, duplicitous teammate ended up in an impromptu firefight with the real Courtney, leaving DJ and Duncan to be ignored. Just as they reached the sloshing, torrential overflowing border of the water and prepared to make a harrowing dash across, the rain stopped and the sun spontaneously started shining. The storm was over and a massively humid heat wave ran through the field. The water level lowered and evaporated swiftly, and less that ten seconds later Duncan and DJ could see the sharks flopping like flounders all over the slushy, moist mud and the dead piranha bodies.

"""

"I hate this game, dude" Duncan said. "I really, ****ing do."

"""

"_Attention fighters!"_ Chris called. _"The rain storm is over! Now, since we're technically in the desert, comes the super-powerful heat wave! Don't forget to wear your sunblock, fastidious soldiers! If you stay out in the sun for too long you could catch fire! Stay in the shade, or your conveniently air-conditioned bases, to stay energized and safe!"_

"Oh, perfect!" Courtney growled. "Now how are we supposed to coordinate a proper offense!?"

"We run!" Duncan said. He and DJ hopped down into the muck, avoiding one of Trent's shots. Courtney aimed up and him and shot him through the metal siding he hid against. He realized now that he wasn't play-fighting at all, and that he was in serious danger. To that effect he went prone and started rolling around, popping up to find Courtney and then ducking back down to avoid her fire. He was outdone already, but as long as he could distract her he knew someone could come and help him out. He just had to bide his time.

DJ and Duncan waded through the thick mud, nearly losing their expensive Italian shoes as they trudged over the fish bodies and avoided the sharks that crawled at them on their fins. Duncan threw his gun up into the tunnel and hopped up, abandoning his shoes. He then gave DJ a hand up, trying hard to pull him but ultimately dropping him and falling onto the metal pipe chest-first.

"No good, dude" Duncan said. "You should have gone up first."

"Sorry" DJ said. "I think I can jump it. You keep going." Duncan nodded and picked himself up. He rounded the tunnel corner just as DJ made his way up. He lost his shoes, but saved his feet as the sharks made weak jumps up to bite at him just as he rolled back into the pipe. "Sorry, sharkies. I don't wanna be food for you today." The sharks snapped their fins...somehow, and dropped dead, leaving an elevated platform right under the Blue sewer tunnel. The advantage went to the Reds.

DJ rounded the corner, hoping to see at least Duncan's advancing backside, but was instead stopped by the barrel of a filed-down shotgun and the cold, warring glare of Lindsay. DJ was frozen in fear and reeled back with disasterously wide eyes. Lindsay fired until he was dead, then fired an extra shot for insurance against him. Beth came around the corner as Lindsay lowered her gun and glared down at DJ's body, a stern and apathetically cold look on her face. Lindsay turned to Beth and immediately squealed with victory. They latched hands and began hopping one foot at a time in celebration.

"We did it!" Lindsay cheered. "We stopped them! We're awesome!"

"We _are_ awesome!" Beth confirmed. "Now, let's get to the base!"

"Right!" Lindsay said. "I'll go ahead and wait for you in their sewer stairs!"

"Got it" Beth said. Lindsay sprinted off, becoming a sonic blur, and hopped straight up into the Red tunnel. Beth carefully slid down into the muck, which she was able to walk across without sinking, and grinned evilly.

"""

"Muahahahaha!" Harold laughed. "Just as I had planned, Lindsay was won over by my debonair acting skills. Too bad I couldn't save Duncan before I killed and replaced Beth, though. That would've made my strategy a lot more useful..."

"""

It didn't matter now. Lindsay was being hunted and she didn't even know it. A rain of fire fell around Harold in Beth's form as he made his way into to Red tunnel, all from Courtney who gripped her gun tightly in rage.

"Two incoming through the sewers" Courtney called. "Tyler, Lindsay is coming up with Beth. Choose the one you're less likely to make out with and kill her!"

"Got it" Tyler said. He disconnected the feed and sighed in defeat, running from the ramparts area to the sewer stairs area with his gun drawn out. "I wish she told me to do the opposite...of both..."

* * *

Noah continued through the halls, ducking bullets and shooting watermelons filled with bricks at his pursuers.

"Thank god for the 'Portal' function on this thing" Noah said. He continued shooting while running and turned a particularly sharp corner in the blandly textured maze he ran. "If I didn't have that I'd be dead." Noah browsed through his action functions and attaches light thrusters to his back. His body was propelled forward but his legs continued to kick the ground under him at a pace that he wasn't at all comfortable with. Therefore, he added wheels to his feet and began racing through the halls with the comfort and ease of a true pro.

"This map is a lot more bland" Noah said. "The last maze was at least in 3D. This one is too flat to be fun." Fun, however, was the furthest thing from Noah's mind. He fought now for survival against seemingly impossible odds. Chris clones equipped with long-range automatics and secondary two-shot RPG launchers that were kill on hit with massive splash damage. Noah was already deeply injured from the first one that nearly killed him from the altitude drop. His radio only picked up the general channel information. Whatever Chris or Chef had to say to the contestants. The latest twist wasn't sitting well with him.

"They're steadily corralling everyone inside" Noah said "and making it harder and harder for either team to keep scoring. It's not even noon yet and they're already making it borderline impossible to meet their deadlines. The score's only 4-2 Blue. We're a good seven scores away from saving what face we have left.

"_Capture, Blue!" _Chris announced. Noah sighed with relief and took a wide left turn on his wheelie feet as a wall of clones blocked him out and shot at him. Noah smirked to himself and wondered what had gone down and who would get the shaft this time, unable to hear anything else.

"""

"I got no problem with this" Geoff said. "In fact, most of my friends already know about it. This one time I went to a carnival for a date with this totally hot babe. We got on the ferris wheel cause, you know, chicks dig that thing, and we got up to the top and started making out. Anyway, I had just had, like, three whole bowls of chili from a bunch of chili dogs I had eaten earlier. The ferris wheel operator thought it would be a good idea to stop it when we got to the top." Geoff started snickering under his hand. "So, obviously, we were stuck up there together and my stomach started growling so loud that the whole wheel heard it. I even shook our seat. Hahaha! Then, and this is the best part, I didn't crap myself, she **puked chunks** all over my lap! Didn't see that coming, huh? Nah..." Now he became oddly reserved. "I was stuck in a porta-potty for a really long time, though, and I never saw her again either. I actually slept in a john that night cause I couldn't move off it, and when I got out I smelled like a toilet for a whole week. Why's that so embarrassing? Because that's what I had to tell people whenever I had to cancel all my plans for that week. Seven party-less days aren't funny, dude."

"""

Back in the game, Lindsay wiped her brow and got a generous heal from Cody's turret so her arm could regenerate.

"Great job, girl" Leshawna said. "I'll take your point while you heal up, alright?" Lindsay raised her remaining thumb and smiled until it hurt. Of course, it hurt immediately, so she didn't hold it up for long. Leshawna went out of the room leaving Lindsay, Cody, Izzy and Beth alone to wait and defend. Izzy was crawling around on all fours, her eyes purposely cut with the serrated edge of her own ax to give her an entertaining handicap.

"Someone is close by" Izzy said. She sniffed at the air, taking short animal wiffs. "I can smell them...I can smell their fear!"

"What else can you smell?" Lindsay asked. Izzy sniffed in her direction.

"Blood" Izzy said. "Can you have a period I a virtual world?" Cody looked uncomfortable and retreated to manage his turret. Beth moved closer and glared from the corner of her glasses. It was still Harold, unfortunately, and he had a plan.

"What was that!" Beth exclaimed, pointing across the room. "I just saw a blur of invisible energy!"

"Harry!" Izzy growled. She took her ax into her mouth and began an animal dash down the hall. Harold placed a quiet, time-delayed sapper on the side of Cody's dispenser, then pulled out his fake bazooka and ran after Izzy, placing another tiny sapper on the underside of the turret. Lindsay closed her eyes and started sniffing around.

"Ew" Lindsay said. "I smell gas." Cody nervously looked away and continued working as Lindsay's arm began to finally regrow from the medical energies of the dispenser. Izzy kept sniffing the ground while Beth, a sword in her hands, silently approached from behind.

"Lost it" Izzy said. "I smell something else now. Wood burning...no, baton-burning....and......**aftershave.**" Izzy grabbed her ax and turned around, catching Harold's blade just as his disguise dissolved. "Hi, Harry" she snarled pleasantly. "How's it going?"

"Better for me" Harold said "than for you!" He broke away and quickly pressed on his watch. Izzy leaped and pressed herself down with her ax near his thraot. He kept it back with his blade, palming the blunt edge to give himself additional force, but his trap was already sprung. Tyler appeared from under a box against the wall. How he got there was a bit of genius distraction planning.

"""

"Okay" Tyler began. "Harold's ingenius plan was to get me under some cover and then let me into the Blue base as someone on their side. I found a box and thought, you know, what else? He distracted Gwen and Owen with some bull crap victory story of how she saved Lindsay from certain doom when all he really did was follow her around an talk to me out of her sight. Anyway, with them distracted, I just ran up the stairs, went down the straight staricase, and hid until I saw him fighting Izzy. It was easy, man. Even I could have thought of it...maybe."

"""

The dispenser and turret started beeping rapidly, a warning blaring that they were about to explode even though their damage meters were empty.

"What the heck?" Cody said. "Why're they going off?"

"Maybe they're sick" Lindsay said. Suddenly both machines exploded violently, Cody's face fatally absorbing both blasts and Lindsay's butt being blown apart by the impact of the dispenser she sat on erupting. Now she had no butt and was near death and in great pain. Tyler came running in and grabbed the intel. Before he was ready to run out he went to Lindsay and scooped her up into his arms.

"Hey babe" Tyler said. "I'm really sorry, but I've gotta take this."

"I understand" Lindsay said. He believed her completely. She was a very understanding girl when something was as simple as this. "Before you go, is my butt okay?" Tyler looked down at her hips, which were broken and ruptured terribly, then back on the floor where her body had just flown over. He cringed at the trail of blood and giblet chunks, then turned back with a forced smile.

"It's great, Linds" he said. "It's always perfect." Lindsay smiled. He took his pistol and gave her a mercy kill so she could respawn in better health. Then, stoically stowing his weapon, he began the mad rush out of the base via the straight stairs. He knew Owen and Gwen were coming down. He ran out, jumped on the wall to avoid the rolling fight between Izzy and Harold on the ground, and began his victory lap back to base. Gwen and Owen showed up just as Izzy rose shakily to her feet, blood all over her grinning face and eyes totally white. She sniffed the air and darted her head to them with a nasty sloshing sound as she parted her teeth.

Gwen and Owen were stunned with fear. Gwen started to retreat while Owen nervously smiled and waved his fingers at her. Izzy was breathing heavy and started a stern walk for the supply room to heal, an ax in one hand and a sword in the other. Berserk Izzy was reborn.

Tyler's only obstacle was running through the muck where he passed by Eva and DJ on their way for their own raid. Without Harold and with a super MVP double-team match up close at hand, more help was obviously needed for a consecutive capture. Tyler promised to send someone once he got back. He navigated through his base and delivered the intel to an empty room. He looked around for a moment just as Heather decloaked behind and drove her sword straight through him. She swung the blood off, sheathed it and made a high leap up into the rafters to continue her campaign of camping.

"""

"Okay" Lindsay began, "this is, like, mortifying for me to even talk about. Okay, I was out shopping once with my friends and they were having a sale on baby-tees, one free with every matching skirt. I didn't know that the sale was being run because they got a bunch of stained skirts and tees in stock from a recent factory mishap. No one did. So, when I came out of the dressing room to pose to my friends, I had a powder-blue tee and a jean skirt on, but the shirt had two stains from, I guess, a nursing mother and the skirt...I don't wanna talk about the skirt. Wait? I do? Really? It's bad! It was sooo bad. I looked back at my butt and there was this huge brown stain on them. How could someone do that to such a cute skirt!? How!? Is there no humility in the world? I mean, humanity!?"

"""

Not surprising, of course, but still shocking for her. Lindsay respawned almost immediately and began a mad dash through the battlements, being hit by the sudden ruthless heat from the sun and dodging a sniper bullet by but a hair's breadth, and was immediately pitched into a firefight between Owen and Eva. The back-and-forth of bullets barely left a drain on either Heavy's health, however. Gwen had a very eager grin on her face, waiting for her uber to charge, not knowing that she and DJ had the same idea in mind.

"Now!" Gwen called.

"Do it!" Eva commanded. Both guns stopped revving and both ubers went up. There was an awkward, still silence. "Well, this kinda sucks."

"What do we do now?" Owen asked.

"You can suck it" Eva shouted. "We're taking your intel!" Eva and DJ ran off for the straight staircase. Owen and Gwen gave chase along the ramparts. They caught each other at the crossing of the steps while Lindsay took a more proactive approach and ran through her own base to get behind Eva and DJ when their uber wore off. She sprinted down the winding walkway, made a quick side-step away from a blinded, blood-eyed Izzy that pounced her way. She turned the corner sharply, looked up and ran up the unblocked steps. She almost neared them when the huge mass of fat that was Owen came tumbling at her. She tried to run, really tried, but in the end she was flattened and killed instantly. Eva stood at the top of the steps, Gwen's head in one hand and her body in the other, without a medic to keep her healed. She was, however, backed up by Duncan.

"Let's go, big girl" Duncan said. Eva slapped him with Gwen's corpse.

"No nicknames" she said. They ran down the steps while Leshawna silently tailed them, her grenade gun eagerly cluthced in hand.

"""

"Ooooo" Leshawna groaned. "Eva, girl, you're a cold, brutal woman. I don't think you're gonna quite like fighitng a losing battle. That's just what you're gonna get against me, though, if you ain't careful."

"""

* * *

What an exciting game! One capture after another, an yet another soon on the way! While Noah braves the between-space dungeon to get back into the game, will his team keep on the tactical route and manage to win? Or will Courtney and her team be the ultimate victors, plowing through the Blue strategy with the sheer force of their offensive power? The battle continues next time on _Total.  
Drama.  
Team Fortress!!!_


	58. 2Fort 8

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Eva and Duncan descended the stairs, unaware of the true horrors awaiting them. By insipid, serendipitous chance, a digital bird descended onto the outlying power lines that supplied electricity to the heat-stricken bases. With one touch of its feet the hot wires blasted it with power and a fried bird stood teetering on the edge of the insulated string, swinging freely before falling down. That surge of power overloaded the transformers in the lines that fed down into the ground and something snapped, something far down in the dirt snapped and crackled and stayed broken for too long. The base lights of the Blue base dimmed and most things were shut down. Only the low hum of the air conditioning remained, thankfully powered by external circuits.

"Ah, crap" Eva said, her eyes open in the darkness. Duncan's eyes floated right beside her. Leshawna stopped halfway down the stairs, still stalking after them with her grenades ready to fire at a moments notice. The darkness wasn't her ally, but it was a benefit she knew was already being used.

"Now what?" Duncan asked.

"We can still get there" Eva said. "We've got just enough light to know where to go. Plus, the thing glows, so it'll be kinda hard to miss." Eva and Duncan made a slow and calm walk around the corner. They heard the sudden automatic slide of the metal door as a bright-faced Izzy, two weapons in hand, slowly paced out and was taken back by a thick shroud of darkness when the door closed.

"What was that?" Duncan asked. He aimed his gun as a reflex and fired a bomb. It blew too brightly and blinded them both for a second. Eva rubbed her eyes and saw spots for a second, then turned and back-handed Duncan to berate him.

"Be more fidgety" Eva growled "and I'll take your nads from you, you little girl!"

"Tough words" Duncan said, "but my nads aid in my performance, something we can't sacrifice without Courtney barking down bot hour necks." Eva shuddered.

"She may be a good leader" Eva said "but she's a horrible romantic, isn't she?"

"Wouldn't you like to know" Duncan said. They finally found their way through the halls and walked into the intel room. The suitcase emitted a dull, blue glow that lit the desk and its surrounding area with a bright blue light. Eva walked forward with Duncan arrogantly striding behind. He turned around to watch his back and saw nothing but the silent darkness behind him. He turned back with a shrug, unaware of the true menace that stumbled in from the darkness. White-eyed Izzy came again, and disappeared without a trace into the darkness.

"""

"You ever get that feeling?" Duncan asked, rubbing his neck. "You know, that you're being tailed? That out of nowhere, in a split second, some dude with a machete is gonna carve a new hole in you, and you won't know where it is until you see it and watch all your blood start pouring out? Yeah. I got that feeling. Kids, always act on that feeling, because it's _always_ right!"

"""

Eva grabbed the intel without a second thought. Leshawna darted herself around the corner, staying careful to know where everything was, and began firing sticky grenades. They hit the lit floor around Eva and before Duncan could fire back in time she blew them and ducked away. Eva was hurt but still standing and Duncan was unfazed by the splash damage of the explosion.

"I got this" Duncan said with the toss of his stylish fedora. "You get back to base with that thing. Don't stop for any-" Eva could see it plainly. The descent of the blood-eyes maniac and the clean carving she made as both her blades swept through the meat of Duncan's neck. His body continued running right into the wall while his dead head was held on her instep. Berserk Izzy glared Eva down with a mad, wide grin full of dagger-sharp fangs. Eva was stunned for a bit, panting from the explosion and frozen with fear, but she got over it and started shooting. Izzy kicked Duncan's head up like a soccer ball and goal-kicked it right into Eva's face. The tall girl was toppled to her back while Izzy made a running leaping pounce onto her stomach.

"Hi there" Izzy said with a hissing, breathy voice. "Are you scared?"

"I'm embarrassed" Eva said "that I had to hear such a cheesy line from you."

"Well don't worry" Izzy said, raising up her blood-splattered ax high above her head, letting the drippings from Duncan's geyser blood drop down and tap on the top of her head. "You won't have to live with that feeling for long!!!" She threw the ax down and it was over. The intel was dropped. Leshawna heard the carnage, the thick and meaty splattering and the loud ripping, gory sounds of slaughter and she bit her lip not to turn that corner and look. It was bad enough to see Duncan's headless body slammed and sliding down against the wall. Finally it was over, and Leshawna felt that it was safe enough to turn that corner again.

Izzy's head snapped up. Her eyes had been pierced with very steady hands, right through her pupils so that dark, bloody holes replaced her regular irises and her smile was stained with blood. "Hey pal" she greeted in an inappropriately regular voice. Leshawna looked down and saw Eva's head held by the short of her ponytail clutched in Izzy's hand like a swaying lantern. "What's up?" Leshawna took a long break between seeing the scene and thinking again in a regular, unfrightened way.

"Uh," she began, "why don't you go out and leave the defense to me and Cody, alright? I think we can handle it fine on our own..."

"Kay!" Izzy exclaimed. She dropped Eva's head and began a cold sprint through the room. She vanished in the darkness again and Leshawna let out all the breath she held in.

"""

"You ever think one of your friends is a serial killer?" Leshawna asked. "Well that ain't nothing until you find out that they are! Game or not, she goes too far sometimes. I worry that when the game is over, Izzy won't be able to pull herself out of it and start ax-murdering folks left and right! I mean, that's a legitimate worry, isn't it?"

"""

* * *

Trent and Courtney continued their fight in the baking heat of the metal enclosures. It was like shooting from inside an oven with the open window doing nothing to vent out the waves of heat. Courtney's gun sight was technologically capable of clearing out the waving heat of the air to get a clear shot but Trent wasn't as lucky. When he scoped through his sight he saw things waving and warping too fast to follow and he couldn't shoot. He was doing his best not to get hit, expending energy he didn't have, staying out of the sun to prevent his body from bursting in flames.

"This is brutal" Trent said. "I can't take this. I'm gonna die! I need some back up or at least a bottle of water..."

"I'm on it" Beth called. She ran from the battlement spawn room with an ice-cold bottle of water held and tossed it through the air. Courtney's amazing reflexes caught sight of the bottle and she sniped it from the air, leaving Trent's head drenched with the icy coldness and his mouth parched dry. "Sorry" Beth called. "I'll go get you another one."

"No! Beth!" Trent called. "Don't worry about me. I'm keeping Courtney distracted." A sniper bullet blasted into the wall. He flinched and stayed perfectly still. Beth backed away. "You go on" he continued. "Either go down and defend the intel with whoever's there or go through the sewers and take the offensive."

"Okay" Beth said. "I'll do my best, sir."

"Good luck" Trent said. He saluted with his hand up above his head and got it pierced with a metal-piercing round. He shook it off and bit his tongue to hold back his cursing, then gathered his gun and shot Courtney's shoulder just as it ducked from view.

"Ouch!" Courtney called in pain. She rubbed her offended wound and glared over her shoulder. "You annoying little camper" she said. "I'll have to teach you a thing or two about cordiality, won't I?" Courtney took out a specially marked clip of ammo and loaded it into her gun. Only five rounds were in it. Electically charged, depleted-uranium filled, explosive tipped sonic-impact bullets. Good for hitting people on the other sides of walls with the explosive blast of energy that each bullet packed. Originally meant only as artillery, the shrunken and narrowed bullets now loaded into her gun with a loud cocking click and weighed the barrel down.

"This is going to be good...." Courtney sneered.

"I have a bad feeling right now" Trent said as he panted. "I think...it's the dehydration." He slowly got himself up and aimed, seeing Courtney's gun attached by its legs right on the ledge of her roost. She wasn't even trying to hide herself. That only confirmed Trent's feeling as she fired and hit Trent dead on. His body was obliterated in an instant. The entire base shook from the explosion and the sniping roost was dented from the inside out. Courtney grinned against the wall. The kick from her rifle shook her from its grip and threw her back while the clamped steadying legs of her gun had torn a slice of metal from her own roost off of the low metal wall.

"Whoo!" she shouted. "Now that was a good shot!" Courtney palmed her way up the hot wall and stumbled forward to collect her gun. She missed, however, and she staggered right out the hole in the metal wall, bounced painfully off the solid ground below and landed face-first in the fishy-muddy muck far below.

"""

"You know you're having a bad day" Courtney began "when you have to pull the dead fish skeletons from your hair!"

"""

Courtney pushed herself up, her arms half sunken in mud, and spat out a grotesque, slushy gathering of rotted fish and hardened mud. She gagged and spat until her tongue was clean, even going so far as to scrape it off with her electric saber.

"Well well well" a handsome voice rang. "What have we here?" Courtney looked up and was filled with blushing hate. Justin stood leaning in the sewer pipe, hidden from the sun in the shade of the tube. His arms were crossed, his cap was tipped and his huge gun was holstered on his back, plain as day to see.

"You!" Courtney shouted ambiguously. She struggled up to her feet and shook her arms of mud, trying to push it off with alternating scraping motions. "What's the matter? Afraid to get a little dirty!?" Courtney suddenly grabbed a handful of muck and pitched it across the way. Justin jumped over it and landed straight into the mud wearing long rubber pants suspended over his shoulders. Pants and boots all in one with no way for even waist-deep disgust to contact his skin. It was the perfect guard and Courtney became instantly disheartened when she saw it.

"""

"On bad thing I have to say" Justin began "against those rubber fishing pants. Take this as experience from my photo-shoot where I earned them: Do not wear them naked. The discomfort is so, totally not worth the endorsements....well, maybe it was. I'm hung up about that right now..."

"""

Justin faced her off immediately with a quick-draw and rocket blast. Courtney tried her best to absorb it, as she couldn't dodge, and was blown clear above the tunnel opening, pressed into the wall with blood splattered from out of her mouth. She shook her head and hopped down, right onto the tunnel with her Tommy gun drawn, and made a stand. She shot at Justin and jumped away from his rockets, riding the explosive waves away and across the dried pond. Her fire was un-concentrated but many marks met and Justin was forced to push through the mud and make his best effort to dodge while still firing. After his cache of four rockets was spend he switched guns and started pumping shotgun rounds Courtney's way.

"I've got the advantage now, J-boy!" Courtney called. "My gun's more concentrated than yours is at long range! What're you going to do about that!?" Justin sneered, but noticed that he was getting closer to the Red sewers as he continued his circle-strafe. He took a break from firing and pulled out one of his extra rocket rounds. He spiked it into the mud and, with the last round of his shotgun, rocket-jumped with a huge splatter of mud hiding his escape right into the Red tunnel. Courtney covered her face as the hot mud was splattered everywhere and growled up at him. Justin waved goodbye and back-peddled right into Tyler's gun. Tyler made a double-jump across the way and started sprinting across the mud, running up the shark bodies into the Blue tunnel.

"Go Tyler!" Courtney cheered. Spontaneously, however, she combusted, groaned in defeat and fell flat to her face. Her death cooled the fire and lowered it to a calm smoking. She was dead, her victory short-lived.

* * *

Tyler was just the first of the Red team to break through and make his way to the Blue base. Though Gwen and Owen were defending the ramparts as best they could, more and more aggressions kept breaking through. First was Sadie and Katie who threw fragmentation grenades from Sadie's belt as distractions to get to the straight staircase, then Harold snuck past them under the disguise of a perfectly healthy Izzy. No one knew where the blind, madness-high Berserker had gone. Now Tyler made a made dash and outraced the fire of Owen's gatling gun with most of his health still intact. He still maintained a double-digit read, which to him was a good thing considering how badly he twisted his arm after he tripped down the staircase.

"Darn it!" he shouted. He got back up, straightened the arm out and popped it back into joint, ignoring the pain through the magic of virtual reality. He walked very carefully through the darkness, still unadjusted to the sudden change in light and followed the sounds of fighting. Leshawna was holding off Sadie, Katie and more than likely Harold all on her own. The intel room resounded with the surging explosions between the two forces, but Tyler, for the life of himself, couldn't see past the darkness. He made a break for where he assumed the spiral walkway was, attempting to circle behind Gwen and Owen to shut down their outer defenses as best he could. He didn't however, anticipate someone else to be running around in the pitch darkness and slammed into them head-first.

"Ow!" Tyler groaned as he laid and rubbed his face.

"Ow!" Lindsay groaned as well. They both realized who each other was and sat up. "Tyler?" Lindsay asked.

"Lindsay?" Tyler called with more enthusiasm. He reached and felt for her, first accidentally copping a feel, then palming her shoulder to bring her in for a hug. She hugged him back. "Babe! I missed you! What's up?"

"The usual" Lindsay said. "Trying to kill you and your teammates. You know, that old stuff."

"Really?" Tyler said. "Same here!" They shared a laugh over the similarities between their routines, almost forgetting just _why_ they were trying to kill each other, and suddenly an idea came to both of them at once. Tyler was the first to voice it. "Hey, since it's really dark here and no one can see us, you wanna make out?" Lindsay nodded her head. Tyler couldn't see it, however, and continued to wait while Lindsay just shook her head faster and faster. "Well?"

"Ow" Lindsay said. "I hurt my neck...Sure!" At that signal Tyler and Lindsay began smacking tongues and fell to the floor. The sleek blue glow of Heather's stealth-suit visor came creeping by, ignoring the mess of priorities that was Tyler and Lindsay.

"""

"Live and let live" Heather said with a shrug. She suddenly widened her eyes, as if startled, and shot up to her feet. "I never would have said that before, would I? Is killing people and being forced to stay on this team as an equal participant actually making me a better person!?" She gave a deep, hollow gasp to the revalation and ran out suddenly. The static crackle ended the scene and shifted to another, irrelevant one already in progress...."

"""

"I like pie!" Own said, his mouth messy with pie.

"""

Heather hid herself in plain sight, a shadow in a dark room, and drew out her silent, black-metaled sword. It gave no reflection, no sign to its presence, and with two clean and sudden slices she ended the battle that Leshawna was trapped in. The explosions stopped. Leshawna ducked up like a nervous gopher and looked around. From the edge of the blue light she saw the darkness come walking at her and realized that it was Heather. Even so, she lobbed a quick grenade her way which bounced off her and exploded between them.

"I haven't seen him either" Heather said, knowing exactly why she fired the grenade.

"That's what's worrying me" Leshawna said breathlessly. "The intel's still safe, though, for what that's worth."

"Believe me" Heather said, leaning against the table, "that's worth a lot." Suddenly her head leaned right off her shoulders and she was dead. Harold came out of nowhere, his slick suit wrapped up in the Japanese kimono and his sword still chopping through the air. Leshawna aimed her gun at him nervously, but something stopped her from firing. She saw his hand extended and his fingers tense. She couldn't move at all. She couldn't even blink. Harold grinned malevolently.

"""

"I hope she didn't take it the wrong way" Harold said with a dejected slouch in his posture, more so than he usually had. "I still dig Leshawna. Nothing changes that, but she's my enemy. Even if the most beautiful kunoichi offered herself to me, in the end, a ninja must be silent and alone, and if she was against me I would have to kill her too....though I wouldn't want to. Ninja chicks are the hottest chicks!"

"""

Harold's blade had already sliced through Leshawna's neck when the camera switched back. He brought his arm around his throat to pose and swung the blood off his blade, his index and middle fingers extended from his fist in front of his face. Then, with a heroic twirl he sheathed his sword behind his back and turned swiftly for the intel, unguarded and vulnerable.

"And now" he began, "it's all mi-"

"Die!" Cody shouted. He smashed Harold from behind with his wrench and continued to beat him as he lay on the ground until he was dead. Then he beat him some more, rose up and shot at him. He came out of his blind fury panting, looking around at the horrible warzone with a look of total horror on his face. "Dear god" he began, "what am I becoming?" He fell to his knees and began to weep softly. Izzy came crawling in from the darkness, her ax in her mouth and her sword across her back bound by a thin cord of rope that crossed across her chest.

"Hey Cody" Izzy said, crawling over with her elbows and knees both pointed up in the air like some terrible horror-movie monster. She pushed up with a grunt and got back to her feet, looking over the crying boy and the slaughter all around him. "Jeez. You did a good job but killing Leshawna was a bit much, don't you think?"

"""

"I'm not a fighter!" Cody protested. "I agreed to be an engineer instead of arguing to be a medic because medics still have to go to the font line! I'm not cut out for actual combat! I have too much guilt to kill someone and too much fear to hold a gun. I don't know what came over me back there, but even if my team would have suffered I wanted to take it back. I felt like a monster, like an animal, like....Izzy when I realized what I had done. Imagine. Heh. A guy like me being like Izzy..." Cody shivered, as if he could feel her crazy eyes looking at him from beyond the candid shower curtain. Through a thin crack, the audience could see that **they were.**

"""

* * *

The Red offense was mounted up and ready to go. Eva and DJ teamed up to form their regular super-league. Geoff and Bridgette were taken away from defense to empower the super attacking force. Courtney, as a leader, was going into battle with her team, sword brandished and held at her hip, sniper rifle loaded with wall-piercing rounds and her automatic close on her back. She took point with the Tommy gun. Eva was close behind and Geoff and Bridgette followed in the back flanks. They ran through their base without trouble and jumped, bracing themselves for the swampy muck, into the dried lake.

"Alright, let's go!" Courtney roared. She made a heavy-pulling step forward and tripped over herself, falling face-first into the dusty dirt. She pushed herself up and spat in anger, staying on her stomach just a second longer to pound both fists into the hardened, dried ground. "Damn it! Why now?"

"I even broke out my rubber slacks, man" Geoff said in disappointment. He and Bridgette were wearing long rubber-hose pants. "We both did...."

"Let's hurry up" Eva said. "You know, before we explode in the sun!" Courtney pounded the ground and rose up, breaking into a run for the skeleton stairs that the shark bodies had made in the dry, dry sun. The Red team rushed through the tunnels of the Blue sewers. The stagnant, dry sewage gave off a terribly foul odor that wavered through the dry, humid heat and stayed with them all as they ran. Eva ignored it, but not everyone was as tough as her. Beth ran down the stairs and immediately retreated, catching sight of the advancing Reds and running to warn her comrades.

"Enemies incoming through the sewer!" Beth called, heralding from corner to corner and from hall to hall. Gwen and Owen scowled at the news and readied themselves. Owen's gatling gun spun loudly in preparation. Gwen had a full uber to use at her own discretion. The immortal strategy was prepared. Now they waited. Trent came out from the spawn room and flashed them a thumb up. Gwen nodded and he covered her back from behind the battlement wall. He would pop out when he was needed. Suddenly an explosive rain of fire sounded out. Owen and Eva were deadlocked in a bullet-barrage exchange. Trent ran and slid into action, intercepting a deadly shot for Gwen with his body and falling straight down into the courtyard. Geoff finished him off with a passing shotgun blast.

"""

"Ever get that useless feeling?" Trent said in obvious downed spirits. "You know, like you go in to try and help but get killed instead? Or like when you join the band and get stuck playing practice notes all semester on a toy guitar....Man, trust me, it sucks."

"""

Eva and DJ activated their uber and stomped through Owen's bullets like a slowly moving train. Gwen activated theirs as well with a quick whistle as the signal. Before he was completely glowing Owen tossed his still-revving gun down and made a flying body-press at Eva. She grabbed him, tossing her own gun aside, and they began to wrestle and grapple with each other.

"Agh!" Eva grunted. "He's too fat! I can't get a good body-grip on him!"

"Woo-hoo!" Owen shouted. "At last, my flab is useful! I knew it was just a matter of time!" Owen, however, had no trouble grabbing Eva around her thick, trim waist and issuing an over-the-knee, from-the-ropes flying-backbreaker move. She was invulnerable, so it didn't hurt, but it was one attack that would do fatal damage otherwise.

"Funny, lard-boy" Eva said. She hopped away from his grip and grabbed his head by his thickest chin. "Let's see how you fight with your head on backwards!" She snapped his neck fully around. Owen was surprised at first, but ended up chuckling and wringing his fingers.

"Whoo!" he called. "You should be a chiropractor!" Eva snapped his neck back around and saw that he had a relieved look on his face. "My neck cramps are finally gone!" Eva hopped away and struck up a low, arm-hanging pose while Owen got up and set his hands to grab in front. DJ was biting his lip in tension. Gwen was watching with great amused anticipation. Courtney, Geoff and Bridgette had broken through, unseen and unnoticed completely, like they were invisible. Somehow Courtney felt unjustified and contemptuous in this.

"""

"I do all that work" Courtney argued "just to be ignored while heavy and heaviest roll around on the ground for a while? Is that what makes a General good? Being unnoticed? No, if anything, I should have been their number-one priority, because with Owen out of the way the intel is totally mine!"

"""

Cody nervously tapped away at his turret, one hand on his wrench and the other nervously placed in his mouth to protect his teeth from clacking together. Leshawna entered through the right hall and received an immediate shotgun round.

"Chill out!" she called. "It's really me. Is that you Cody?" The room was still dimly lit. The lights were working less and less now. Most of the ambiant lighting from the computer nodes had died out with feint, almost silent squeaks as Izzy made her breathy paces through the shadows to ensure her kingdom was totally dark.

"It's me" Cody said with a shiver. "Come on back here and help me defend."

"Right" Leshawna said. She began planting grenades. Izzy hopped from one rafter to another, her feet tapping lightly. Leshawna noticed the sound, and initially she jumped at it, but the fevered pace that the tapping kept with, random and crazed, gave her comfort. "Izzy, quit scaring Cody, girl. You know he's fidgety."

"Eeeehhheeeheeheheheheheheee!!!" she laughed. Her laugh was so mad and unsettling that Leshawna froze.

"Uh....Izzy?" she called.

"Izzy's gone now" Cody said. "I think this is her more dangerous personality, her 'id', coming out now. I haven't figured out its name yet, though...." Izzy made a demonic hiss, one too deep and dark to be human in nature.

"Let's just call this scary Izzy" Leshawna said.

"Yes" Cody agreed, "because Scary Izzy is very scary. Very, very scary!"

"**HAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"** Izzy roared. Her voice echoed through her entire intel-level base and stopped the Red brigade dead in their tracks. Courtney held up a tight fist and forced them to stop. Geoff and Bridgette could see her order even through the darkness. They had adjusted to the lack of lighting and moved slowly to the long forked hallway, the one they had seen someone go through earlier.

"Hear that?" Courtney asked.

"No" Geoff whined.

"Calm down, Bridgette" Courtney said, sure that the feminine squeak had come from her. She was scared, alright, but too much so to talk. "I'll go in first and snipe out their engineer. You two need to go around the other way and take out the turret. We'll keep it turning its attention, one and then the other, until it's destroyed. Then we take out...whatever else there is."

"We don't kill Izzy" Bridgette said in a low, low voice. "Izzy kills us!"

"Don't be such a pessimist, Geoff!" Courtney hissed. Geoff and Bridgette exchanged a confused glance.

"""

"Isn't losing your sight" Bridgette began "supposed to heighten your other senses? In that case, shouldn't being in total darkness make someone a better listener? Or have I gone insane from the Izzy proximity levels already?"

"""

* * *

Courtney split her team apart. She hugged the wall with her back and ducked out quickly to get a scan of the area. The turret was whining quietly in the corner with a frightened Cody behind it. She smirked and backed away from the corner, aiming her X-ray sight straight through the thin corner of the wall and right at the turret. Minimal interference. She fired and pinged a bullet off the turret. Izzy picked it up immediately and turned towards the source of the muffled bang. She crawled along the rafters and almost made her way to the opening of that hallway when a rocket blast and turret beep alerted her once more. The attack was on. Courtney's next bullet hit Cody near the head. He took near fatal damage as a result.

"To hell with this!" Leshawna shouted. She shot up from the desk with the swivel chair overhead and tossed it just as Geoff ducked out again, intercepting his rocket perfectly. "YEAH!" she roared with a pump of her arm. Cody tapped his turret back to full health just before getting clipped and nearly killed by Courtney's next bullet.

"Damn" Courtney said as she gripped her gun's steadying hold. "These bullets aren't fair! They need to redo them or something!" The bullets she used were percentile-based in damage. If they didn't hit the head, no matter how much health the enemy had lost, they wouldn't die. They would stop doing damage entirely if the enemy had only one health point left unless a perfect head shot was delivered. They could pierce through any amount of walls, but if it wasn't a head shot it didn't matter. Cody didn't know that but moved around as much as possible anyway. Leshawna returned fire to Geoff and Bridgette with her grenade launcher gun. Izzy just hit, her weapons in her hands and her orange hair becoming less and less curled from the humidity of her madness.

"This is getting crazy!" Leshawna shouted. "Where's our back up? Where's Lindsay and Justin and Beth?"

"Where's Heather!?" Cody called.

As for Heather, the domineering heel of the competition, she had just made it to the surface level of the Red base and stopped in the middle of the ground-level intersection. She grinned coyly under her mask and drew her blade flat against the air beside her.

"You're getting frightfully predictable, Harry" she said. Harold came into view from the static hum of his cloaking, his sword flat against her throat and hers against his.

"You talk an awful big game" Harold said "for someone so small."

"How do you mean that, exactly?" Heather asked, pressing her blade to his pencil-thin neck. He did the same and grinned. Neither of them were in any position to lose their anger and start the fight. "Even if they _are_ small, you still passed out just seeing them."

"Any guy in my position would" Harold defended. A short moment lapsed between them. "So, what're you going to do?" Harold asked with a venomous manly seethe in his voice.

"Oh, why tell?" Heather said. "I'll just **show you!**" Heather made the first attack! She brought her blade back and swept for his feet. Harold rolled through the air over it and landed with a sweep of his own, aimed for her neck. Heather rolled her head forward and counter-attacked, stepping in with overhead swings. Harold blocked them and the incoming succession of blows. A duel was underway.

"""

"I was complimenting her figure" Harold explained. "She's got a really small waist....but if we're going to compare, at least to Lindsay or Leshawna, I'd say-" Technical difficulties prevented the rest of the broadcast....

"""

Courtney continued firing through the wall with loud, explosive bursts of her gun sounding off her rounds. Cody's gun was in dire disrepair, even without Geoff's rockets hitting it. Cody manually aimed the turret down that hall and a cluster of rockets automatically fired at Geoff, forcing him to jump away before he could even fire.

"Man" Geoff said, "that guy's got us covered!" Bridgette checked her back for incoming enemies. Now spawned Trent in the nearest room. He made a break for the noise nearby, his sub-machine gun drawn out and his fedora tight on his head. He rounded the corner and saw the lights of explosions, making out the sillouhetes of cowboy-hatted Geoff and gala-gowned Bridgette. Drew his machete, ran forward and stabbed it into Bridgette's back before holding Geoff in a full-nelson hold and struggling to gain control. "Help! Monster! IZZY!!!"

"Calm down, dude" Trent said. "It's just me."

"Oh" Geoff said much more calmly. "Enemy!" he growled. He fought harder knowing that it was a winnable battle but Trent managed to hop into sight of the turret. It beeped and loaded its rockets while preparing to fire fro mthe gatling barrels. They were rendered dysfunctional by a well-placed sniper bullet.

"Now what?" Courtney asked as she reloaded. "Without that you can't keep a constant defense. I don't even need these bullets anymore..." Courtney loaded her regular rounds and popped into view. Leshawna fired a grenade at her but it was blown up in the air as Courtney's bullet pierced through the darkness and killed Cody. She then began a semi-automatic fire to take down the turret just after it launched its rockets. With a quick roll away she was gone and safe, leaving Leshawna alone to defend the intel from the encroaching forces.

All these explosions that shook the base and its floors suddenly came to the awareness of both Lindsay and Tyler, who had been making out in a dark corner for the longest amount of time. Tyler got up first and looked around, his shirt opened from the lovely tussling. Lindsay sat up and fized her mussed-up hair.

"Oh crap!" Tyler exclaimed. "The battle! I almost completely forgot!"

"Really?" Lindsay said. "So did I!" She was far too chipper about her last remark and regretted it as she stood. "I shouldn't be, should I?" Tyler grabbed her shoulders in the darkness and peered deeply into her eyes.

"Babe" he began, "I love you, but right now our teams need us. And I don't want to kill you, so please, just run away from me and forget about me for a while."

"But for how long?" Lindsay asked, adding to the drama with a heavy sadness in her voice.

"At least a half-hour" Tyler said.

"Okay" Lindsay said eagerly. She gave his mouth one last kiss and ran away, paling the walls for a hallway door. "See you in thirty, boo!"

"Laters" Tyler said, waving in the dark.

"""

"Ah, who cares about the game anymore?" Tyler said. "Being with Lindsay _is_ my reward, man. I don't think I'll seriously participate at all anymore!" He leaned back, real cool and confident for a second, then shot forward with panicking eyes close to the camera. "You don't think Courtney can hear me in here, do you?"

* * *

"This blows" Duncan groaned. He planted a small field of mines around his intel, his only other company being Zeke, and sat on the cool metal desk with a huff. "Everyone else is out there killing and chilling and doing whatever while I'm stuck in here on defense. Like the Blue are gonna get their act together enough to break through here!"

"It could happen" Zeke said. "We've got to be prepared all the time, eh?"

"What a boy scout answer" Duncan said in a mocking tone.

"I was in the scouts, dude" Zeke said. "For, like, a year. Or a half year."

"Why'd they boot you?" Duncan asked. "Couldn't learn to tie your knots right or decorate your little paper plates?"

"Nah" Zeke said. "I nearly got our scout leader killed once." Duncan was intrigued. His raised eyebrow proved that he wanted to hear more. Zeke saw it and sighed. "Okay, well, there was this camp-out, right? In the woods. And, well, there was a bear-"

"Duncan!" Courtney shrieked over the com. Duncan flinched and gave Zeke a pausing finger.

"What's up, princess?" Duncan asked.

"Princess nothing, get over here now!" Courtney said in a rush. "Geoff is dead, Bridgette and Trent are killing each other, Leshawna's got her intel too tightly guarded and Eva is fighting Owen up top. We need reinforcements!"

"We got our whole team over there already!" Duncan said with exasperation. "Where are Sadie and Katie?"

"Guarding the sewers" Courtney said. "I've got a plan, but I need everyone's flawless cooperation! Now GET OVER HERE!!!" Her voice was so loud that Duncan's ear rang for a few seconds. Duncan shrugged and began to head off for the Blue base.

"Sort your story out, dude" Duncan called to Zeke as he left. "I wanna hear about this!" Zeke grinned, lightly lighting up from the feeling he had.

"""

"It feels really good" Zeke began "to feel wanted. Even if it's for a story, or if its for a turret. I don't care, eh. I'm not greedy. As long as I've got a place on the team, man, I'm a real good trooper."

"""

Duncan, using the mortar gun as his base, stood in the frame of his base's ground level door and launched a grappling hook to the other side. He now had a thin cable of a bridge to run across. Though he had no exact experience in tight-rope walking, he didn't think doing it in a virtual reality environment would be too challenging for him. He ran, toeing the line perfectly, and made it to the other side before he even realized it. Meanwhile, in his own base, on the battlements, flitting from shade to shade was the continuous fight between spies.

Heather saulted across a patch of the sun and into the shade of the broken, blasted roost while Harold pursued. He tossed a row of knives that she jumped over, stole from the air and threw back. Harold blocked them with his sword blade drawn vertically across his body and dashed after her. The battle retreated from sight and into the covered area of the spawn room where Harold retreated. Heather jumped down to the ground floor, dashed inside, found a medkit and healed just in time for Harold to come dashing in from the main hallway divider to strike his sword into her block.

Duncan made it to the Blue rampart courtyard where he saw Eva and Owen struggling against each other while Gwen and DJ rested in the shaded inside area. Duncan drew out his melee weapon and circle around silently, staying low, eying Gwen's exposed back. DJ smacked his lips and looked casually over at Duncan who froze and silently begged him to turn away.

"Duncan's here" DJ said.

"Dude!" Duncan shouted. "What the hell!? What're you doing!?"

"Truce" Gwen said apathetically. "We forgot that you catch fire under the sun and stayed out too long. Now, until they're done killing each other, we're dousing them off when they start to catch." DJ took a bucket of water and splashed it over Owen and Eva. A steam hissed off them and they continued their struggle, Owne pushing with Sumo-like palm thrusts and Eva grappling and trying to grab him in a headlock the whole time. That was their fight, a desperate struggle for a kill shot, whether by Owen's girth of Eva's strength. Duncan sighed and leaned against the wall, picking his nails with his knife, when he got a hail over the radio.

"Hello?" Duncan said as if answering a phone.

"WE GOT IT!" Courtney squealed, so loud that Gwen and DJ reeled and stepped away. Duncan took the earpiece out and held it away from his head. "I've got the intel! I'm coming up the winding stairs! Tyler will run it back with you just in case!"

"Just in case what?" Duncan asked. Suddenly his earpiece emitted an ominous static. Duncan looked between Gwen and DJ with curiosity, then stopped to look around. Something felt terribly off, like the walls had somehow spontaneously shifted form, and that's when they heard it. They all heard it. Even Eva and Owen had to stop and listen. The building screeching tenor that came from the depths of the Blue base.

"_Attention Soldiers!"_ Chris began. _"We got news! Kinda good, kinda bad! **Berserk Izzy** has been deemed a special entity and, therefore, is **sideless!!!**" _This new, horrible twist shocked most of the Blue team nearly into cardiac arrest. Their most dangerous and useful asset, Izzy, was no longer taking sides. Instead she would indiscriminately take lives with her double blades. As the crazy girl heard the announcement, standing over the bisected, dissected and generally torn-up bits of corpse that were once Courtney, she swayed in place and smiled widely.

"That's just fine with me...." she growled.

"""  
"..........Izzy was weak" Izzy began, her voice in a more graveled tenor than normal and her eyes more squinted and narrow with evil. "She was held back by futile, fleeting things called 'emotions'. I am not. I kill. I live. It is all I do. I am the embodiment of ravenous murder in this world. I shall call myself........**Z!!!** And I shall spell it....**Xi!!!! HEEHEHAHAHAHAHA!!!!**"  
"""

* * *

….Yikes. What have we done!? Now with a truly berserk Izzy on the loose, who can survive? The Reds and Blues are both in grave danger! Meanwhile, with all these upsetting twists and turns in the game itself, how much longer can the clarity and common sense of our harrowing warriors last? Will Cody get over his obvious fears? Will Harold and Heather have an ultimate end to their bitter rivalry? In the end, with 5-3 in Blue's favor, who will really win? The true battles have yet to be fought and the war is just beginning. Find out what twists and shocking defeats and victories await next time on _Total!_

_Drama!  
__**TEAM FORTRESS!!!!**_

P.S. From the author:  
Please excuse the frequent absence. I hope this chapter more than makes up for it ;D


	59. 2Fort 9

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Berserk Izzy, or Xi, is now free of the binds of team-play. She is a wild card player, able to kill freely, and has already exercised her unrestrained diplomatic ignorance on unsuspecting Courtney with a swift and merciless kill. Now the Blues are short a player and up one major threat, for this wild girl is in their base. Tyler went sprinting like a madman, covered in gore, from the winding tunnel while being inevitably pursued from behind. His feet rapped on the floorboards as he jogged in place, looking every way he could for a proper escape. Duncan entered, scaling the stairs while avoiding the fight that continued between the Heavies and began running for the battlements.

"Dude!" Tyler called. Duncan looked over and caught the intel in a clutch against his face. "I'll hold her off! Get a head start!" Tyler was off with his shotgun wielded, running through the winding walkway. Duncan spared no single second to chance and went for the battlements. Trent was nowhere to be seen but the distance was far to long for him to pass in an instant. Suddenly, he heard the venomous, raging roar of Xi from around the corner and knew her body count had increased by one clumsy jock.

"""

"Okay" Duncan began, "this is what they call a double-edged decision. Do I either run the intel and gut out the chase of a girl who's probably part jackal genetically, or do I save my skin and risk losing the intel by fending her off while someone else handles the thing? No matter what I do, I don't think I can save myself from getting sliced...

"""

Duncan showed no panic. He planted his mortar, loaded the intel by a string attached to a heavy led slug and aimed the mortar for his team's battlements. His aim was exact. The power was precise. He fired and watched as the grenade dropped through the air far short of its intended target and slammed into the exposed sewer pipe of the Red base. Sadie and Katie heard the noise from their patrol and were quickly en route to engage it.

"Get the intel, girls" Duncan called through the radio. Xi came sprinting around the corner, running on the wall and bounding to the other wall to pounce before Duncan could defend. She ripped open his chest with her bare hands and started punching his innards until he was lifeless. Satisfied with her kill, Xi stood up and shook the blood from her hands, adding Duncan's razor switchblade on her hip belt next to Tyler's broken bat and Courtney's malfunctioned electric machete. She growled breath as she watched the girls pick up the intel and run it back, then made a flying pouncing leap all the way fro mthe battlements to the dry pond bed below.

"_Oh yeah!"_ Chris announced. _"We forgot to mention something. Since Izzy is no longer on either side, she's given a slight benefit apart from the other teams. Not only is she super-strong with melee, she takes **no falling damage!**"_

"Say what!?" Leshawna shouted.

"For real?" Gwen called.

"Oh, that's cheap" Eva said as she held Owen back by his cheek.

"Oh, come on!" Owen shouted in exasperation, from either situation but neither one in particular. A general malaise of discontent swept the field while Xi just pushed herself up and staggered toward the Red pipe where Katie was clutching the briefcase and steadily fighting off the urge to wet herself. She started to hyperventilate and increased her rate as the mad girl climbed up the pipe, her nails ripping into the metal like claws, her face covered in evil shadows.

"Eeeee..." Katie breathlessly squealed. Sadie picked her up and fired a rocket from her hip. Xi jumped over it but got a face-full of shotgun round, stunning her momentarily while the girls made their brave escape.

"_And while I have your attention"_ Chris added _"I may as well add this last little tiny comment regarding Berserk Izzy."_

"""

"Seriously?" Gwen began. "Enough is enough. We get it. Izzy's the most popular player. She got voted back the most before. She has the best reality TV personality. She's the quintessential psycho-killer human demolition train that keeps everyone entertained, but does she really need this much power? I mean, unless everyone's already forgotten, she does have a flamethrower. Once you have a flamethrower, bets are off and you need de-powered. Flamethrower is the trump card of this game..."

"""

"_Every kill Berserk Izzy gets replenishes her health!"_ Chris announced. This gave great glee to Xi and she made a frightfully animistic dash along the ground with ax and sword equipped in each hand and an intermittently sparking machete gripped by the rubber handle in her mouth. She ran low to the ground, half-hopping from wall to wall in the pursuit of the girls. Sadie back-peddled and kept her away with rocket fire, but it did little to actually stop Xi as she leaped over the explosions and rode the waves of splash damage to increase her maniacal speed. Sadie, realizing her time was better spent as a distraction, passed the intel and issued silent commands to Katie. As if through telepathy, she understood and departed her dear friend.

Xi closed in and regained the health she had lost, plus a little more that, for just a second, blurred her vision and pumped her full of vigor and life.

"Woah!" Xi exclaimed. "What was that? An adrenaline high? If I kill so many people after I have full health, does that make me some kind of invincible!?" Chris hadn't verbally added that part but Xi managed to figure it out. She made a four-legged gallop through the Red base and pounced for Katie who worked her way as fast as she could back to the intel room. Xi hit the solid wall of the base in the ramparts area after Katie dodged her attack. She stuck to the wall long enough to turn around and aim for Katie again.

This time she forced her to the ground and ripped her apart in a blood-hungry rage. When she came out of it she saw the blurs again and realized the true effects of the world-slowing adrenaline that coursed in her system. She also realized that in her death throes Katie threw the intel to Geoff and Bridgette who were watching at the straight staircase entrance. Xi glowered in that direction and made a flying leap over and all the way down the stairs.

"""

"Some people claim" Katie began with Sadie in the room "that they have some kind of, like, ESP mind link thing from being so close."

"I think it's like destiny" Sadie said. "You can only truly communicate that way if it's with the absolute right person."

"That's exactly what I meant!" Katie exclaimed. "Are you doing it now?"

"Let's try it together!" Sadie suggested. Katie and Sadie stared into each other's eyes for a short moment, then they both burst out with a fit of giggles and laughter.

"Ohh!" Katie moaned in her laughter. "That was sooo funny!"

"My sides hurt!" Sadie said.

"""

* * *

As Xi fought the Red team to death, another deadly, lethal fight was continuing in an invisible stage. Heather and Harold continued to wage their war, an honorable end-all battle to settle their rivalry in the midst of war, which had since migrated down in front of the Red base ground entrance. They fought for some solid seconds in the sun and then darted into the shade until the smoking of their skin stopped.

"I don't get it" Heather said, half-talking to Harold in a monologue tone. "You're an asthmatic, unathletic weirdling nerd! How can you not be out of breath yet?"

"It could be because we aren't breathing" Harold explained "and because this is a virtual world and the only true symptoms of fatigue are imagined in your head or ruled to exist by a popular favor of a realism-craving audience. Or, much more simply, it could be because I'm a better fighter than you." Heather took his last piece of dry wit with a smirk and looked at her technological marvel of a watch. Her cloak was fully charged, along with an additional feature that made her snicker under her breath. She charged in, blade held high, to engage first. Harold jumped from the shade of the door frame with a flurry of throwing knives. Heather blocked them and backed away, blocking more and more as Harold threw his entire stash of knives at her.

"Just give it up" Harold said. "Statistically, you'll eventually get hit."

"So will you" Heather said "if you don't dodge!" Heather's deflection sweep was markedly more powerful than normal. She was able to swing a few of the daggers Harold's way and forced him to dance to the side in avoidance. That momentary upset turned the tide as Heather began throwing her own daggers just as fast and in just as wide-spread clusters as he did. Harold worked double-hard to dodge, keeping on his toes and leaping out of the way while blocking them in mid-air.

"You can't beat me at this" Harold said, landing with his legs wide apart and his sword flourished towards Heather. He spun it around as he slowly slid himself up and sheathed it with a mighty clang of metal. "I'm just more focused on tasks naturally. I'm born to be a ninja."

"You're not a ninja!" Heather shouted, aware that she was out of knives at last with a seething hate. "You're a spy! Get it right!" Heather activated her watch and rushed in under the cloak of camouflage. Harold braced himself and watched the dust at her feet. Heather made a straight dash, then leaped away when she was just in range, kicked off the solid metal siding wall of the base and dove in for a flying decapitation slash. Her plan was all for naught, as Harold saw through all her moves, stopped her body in mid-air with knives and then ended her with a quick stab through her abdomen. Her body hit the floor, bled a bit and died.

"Like I said" Harold said, sheathing his sword and hopping into the shade again. "I was born to be a ninja!" Harold had just sheathed his sword entirely when his lips pursed with a strange sensation near his bladder. He looked down and saw a blade protruding through his lowest gut. He followed the blade up to the true Heather while her decoy dissolved away into a deflated rubber suit. "Oh, you're a bitch!" Harold said, poking his finger at her. He died. He hadn't anticipated or planned on using his own dummy-double, so he was dead for real.

"""

"Honestly" Harold began, "who would do that in a real fight? We're ninjas! We fight with honor and pride! We have mastered a sacred art of assassination that bides itself to all ninja, novice or expert, and swore ourselves to a code of ethics and honor in the field of battle! What part about that code said anything about stabbing a guy's sensitive bladder!?"

"""

Heather was pleased. So much so that she forgot her position and stood in the sun a bit too long. The first thing to catch was her long, flowing hair.

"Ahh!" Heather shouted. "AHHH!!! FIRE! MY HAIR! IT'S ON FIRE! SOMEONE HELP! **PUT IT OUUUUT!!!**" Heather ran screaming through the Red base until she died of burns. Her corpse had no hair. The scalp was singed clean...

Meanwhile, down below, the manic Xi continued to slaughter her way through the panicked baton race. Geoff fell in a bloody, pulpy mess to her double blades and Bridgette was next. She managed to get inside her intel room and pass the intel off to Courtney, who had spawned down there and waited for her chance at revenge. Courtney jogged across the room while Xi decapitated Bridgette swiftly and briskly planted the intel for a capture. Courtney turned on her heel to snipe the berserker but she had disappeared, only to reappear behind her with a heavy stomp as she landed on the desk, pushing the Red intel down beneath her foot as she snarled and glared at Courtney's soon to be disembodied head...

"""

"Heh-heh" Cody nervously laughed. "Um, well, I'm not sure how I can explain this without totally losing my composure, but when I was attending community college for early college credit I was invited to this party my friends were having. I thought it was just going to be something casual, maybe a study group session or a movie or two. Nothing heavy, right? Ohhhh, I was wrong. Within minutes someone was drunk, half-naked and running around shouting. People were hanging off the ceiling and flipping things over....I tried to leave peacefully but they kept me, and when I resisted they tried to force-feed me beer. I had to spend the whole night there, running to the bathroom each time I was forced to drink because, apparently, I'm allergic to alcohol. The next class day I showed up so tired and spent and sickened that I ran out from my final and spent two hours in the bathroom, just hung over the toilet gasping and gagging. It guess that's why they're called 'hangovers' after all. Anyway, the main point of embarrassment is that I had to explain it all anonymously to my teacher to take the make-up final. I'd never been so ashamed in my life..."

"""

Xi hacked and slashed and mauled and tore at Courtney's face, leaving nothing that resembled a head of Courtney's remains, then went to dryly panting and foaming at the mouth as she reached the unstable peak of her killing high. She roared a mighty, echoing roar through the base that shook the floors and walls! Lights flickered at her power and whole walls of computers shut down! It was when she had finished her call of wildness and during her heavy panting breaths that a shotgun cock alerted her to something terrible.

"Somehow" Xi said, lowering her head in shame, "I forgot about you...." She received not one, nor two, but six point-blank shots to the back of her head from the shotgun. Each attempt she made to avoid them or push against them to reach her attacker with wild malicious intent was in vain and by the time the clip was empty she was already dead. Standing triumphant over her body was Zeke, savior of the day, who loaded his gun silently and stoically before grabbing her weapons for scrap and building up his sentry in its corner position.

"""

"I'm a meek kinda guy, eh" Zeke said. "I mean, the team respects me enough as it is, you know? I'm not gonna try and be the hero just to get more screen time than the rest of em. Besides, I don't see what's so crazy about Izzy. She's not any more crazy that most girls are, right?"

"""

* * *

Meanwhile, in the rampart courtyard of the Blue base, Eva had summoned up a strength far greater than her basic super-human abilities could limit and had lifted Owen above her head. She was preparing to throw him down from the top platform of the ramparts and onto the baking dirt below, but the longer she held him the greater her pleasure for the inevitable act of obliteration got. Owen tried fighting back, but sandwiched between the strength of a bodybuilder and the heat of the sun he found no means of surviving and simply let his body fall limp.

"Grrrrrr...." Eva growled. Down below Gwen and DJ kept waiting in the shade, holding themselves true to their truce and as soon as the fighting between their partners was done they would engage in their own battle.

"You know" DJ began, "I've been thinking about something."

"What's up?" Gwen asked. DJ looked at her and squinted his eyes, analyzing her and staring deeply at her head. Then he snapped his fingers and pointed at her.

"I think you'd look good with braids" he said. Gwen gave him a doubtful blink then took a light fingerful of her hair.

"Nah" she disagreed. "It's too short. Plus, if I braided it, I'd have to go into the whole Goth/Lolita thing, and I don't have the figure to pull that off. Or the right clothes."

"Well, it was just a thought" DJ said.

"Thanks" Gwen replied. They kept their mood as friendly as possible, staying casual until Owen's body slammed to the ground from above and started to sizzle. They looked on with shock and waited for the ultimate finisher to be delivered.

"Ahhhhhh" Owen groaned. "Must we do this? Always the fighting? Can't we resolve our problems over dinner or lunch? Can't we just...get along?" Eva smacked her elbow into her palm and took a step back. She made a short burst of speed before making her blazing leap through the air with her body sideways and her elbow guiding her. She beat the burning rays of the sun by a second and drove her elbow through Owen's chest just as he exploded into roasting flames from the incredible heat. The kill was awarded to Eva, who stood proud and victorious with a blunt glare from her prominent brow.

Then she burst into flames and ran around shouting for a few seconds before dying. The anti-climactic ending drove Gwen to laughter and DJ to cringing. Leshawna came up from below and saw Gwen and DJ standing together in the ground floor door that led to the ramparts. She only had a picture half painted, but knew enough to know it was safe to proceed to them both at the moment. She jumped down and ran over into the shade with them just as Gwen stopped laughing.

"Hey DJ" Leshawna greeted. "How's it going on the Red side?"

"Oh, hey Leshawna" DJ greeted. "It's going alright. You know, we're catching up to the gap you guys gave us. I think we're doing pretty well."

"Yo, DJ!" Duncan called over the radio, loud enough for both the girls to hear. "You're still alive and Eva's dead. Does that mean you finally added a body to your count?"

"Uh" DJ grunted, "not exactly. I mean, I'm in the process....I'm trying to-"

"Just kill Gwen and get it over with, man" Duncan said. "Be a man about it! Me and Tyler are making a run for the intel. If you survive I'll team up with you once I'm over, alright?"

"Uh, sure" DJ said. "No problem." The transmission cut there, leaving DJ to face a grinning Gwen and a curious Leshawna.

"Wait a second" Leshawna said, "you guys formed some kind of alliance, didn't you?"

"No!" DJ denied. "It's a truce, and it expires now! So come on, Gwen." DJ took out his saw, in perfect, unused condition from his pacifist stance, and posed himself against her with his contagion mask up. "I'm ready whenever you are." Gwen put her mask on as well and took out her sawblade and a fistful of scalpels. Gwen made the first move with a quick dash and a throw of her daggers. DJ rolled out of the way and guarded himself as he rose to his feet.

They clashed blades over and over, Gwen on a total offense fueled by a blind berserk state and DJ guarding sheepishly, trying hard not to actually hit her in his pacifist mindset. Leshawna watched the battle go one, knowing reinforcements for DJ were en route and knowing especially how undefended the intel room was at present. It was her and Cody and that was it. She knew a full-force attack would plow right through their thin layer of defense like it wasn't even there!

DJ suddenly gained the advantage. With his superior focus on defense he parried and swung Gwen's weapon straight out of her hand. Prolonging the deathblow he swept her legs out and caught her as she fell, one arm holding up her head and the other shakily holding the razor-sharp saw blade to her throat. He shook with fear and dread. He didn't have it in him to kill and they both knew it. However, even knowing that, Gwen didn't fight back. She just leaned back into his hand with her arms crossed and her leg limpy swinging out of boredom while DJ tried to break through his frozen composition to make the decisive motion.

"DJ" Gwen said "just do it. It's not even real, and even if you kill me there's no way I can be mad at you. Honestly, I'd feel worse if you just let me walk away from this."

"Really?" DJ said. "So, you want me to kill you?"

"I'm saying I don't mind it" Gwen said "and that fighting in this game won't make you a bad person. In fact, if you don't fight, you're sort of cheating out your own team by not doing as much as the rest of them."

"But I'm a medic" DJ said, standing her up with his frightened tenacity and apprehension gone. "I became a medic because I didn't think I'd ever have to fight. I guess I was wrong, though. Everyone seems to be fighting and having fun, but I just can't enjoy that knowing what my Momma would think of me for trying to harm someone else...."

"DJ" Leshawna said, "would you want your Momma to see you like this? You're fighting for the chance at $300,000! Now think about it. A lot of people would be ready to do whatever they could to get that kind of money, especially if they could use it to help someone they loved. Are you willing to gut up and try to be one of those people, who fights for love?" DJ nervously looked between Leshawna, who stirred up his battling tenacity, and Gwen, who recovered her saw and was willingly waiting to restart their duel. He started to sweat. The tension in him was palpable. He shut his eyes tight and made his decision.

"""

"Leshawna and Gwen are right" DJ said. "Who's going to judge me for trying to win? Everyone else is doing their best so that they can win, not so they can just run around and kill people without consequence. In any other game I'd do the best of my best to win it for my Momma, and for me. This game shouldn't be any different. The only real difference is that what I think will hurt people, in the end, won't hurt them at all.I've got to swallow my fears and dive into the warzone, no matter what!"

"""

DJ swung hard, going on a tangent of offense against Gwen. She retreated and kept up her guard but DJ had found a new resolve within himself to win. Gwen had never seen DJ so serious before, and she was just now realized that all the strength he had in his arms wasn't just for show. There was some serious, amazing power behind his muscles that he displayed with each strike and slash. Eventually the pattern repeated. Gwen's weapon left her hand, DJ kicked her feet and caught her head, then in a single powerful thrust he sawed her head off and moved away from the body to catch his breath.

He had won. DJ finally killed somebody. Leshawna patted him on his thick, wide shoulder and made him turn to her.

"Oroud of you, big guy" Leshawna said. DJ nodded in thanks. He looked down and saw that his back was covered with sticky grenades. Leshawna ran out of the room while DJ ran away and a moment later he was blown to smithereens. Duncan and Tyler were just arriving through the sewers while Lindsay came sprinting to Leshawna's aid followed close behind by the newly sane pyro Izzy.

"No worries everyone" Izzy called. "I am perfectly lucid and sane once more. The beast that was Xi has since been tamed....for now, I guess."

"Good" Leshawna said as she proceeded to run back to the intel room from the ramparts. "Can sane Izzy defend this point as well as insane Izzy did?"

"She can try!" Izzy called. She and Lindsay ducked into the respawn room of the ramparts and waited. Duncan and Tyler came out and made a quick break for the straight staircase. Lindsay and Izzy opened fire with their long-range weapons, Izzy spitting napalm fire all around them and Lindsay pistol sniping.

"Damn it, DJ!" Duncan shouted, hopping and shifting his feet to keep from catching fire. His blame game was short lived as the combined forces from the sun and Izzy's fire quickly dried him out and burned him up...

* * *

Noah glided along the ground on his impromptu-programmed skates, the thrusters at his back propelling him only to the grade that kept him moving without physical input. He wasn't going fast anymore, but in this long, winding corridor he knew he didn't need to. After checking and double checking the spawn rates and bot limits for the map in its pre-programmed parameters, Noah had already figured out that he had either killed or avoided all the Chris clones that he would have to meet. He beat the map of its enemies, now he just had to find the center of the long maze. Needless to say, he was bored.

"This is getting redundant" Noah said. "I don't even know what I'm going to find in the middle of the map, and it's certainly not going to be anything worth celebrating over. All that augmented crap they threw on the 'Berserk' soldier state is going to bog down the game completely and favor it to the insane. Are they trying to be clever by saying only the inhumane soldiers are the ones who win wars? Because I have better ways that such an opinion can be expressed, none of which include completely crippling my team for sheer amusement..." Noah glided quickly around a corner and slowed himself down to awe at a huge, gray structure built out of the middle of the map. It was a scaling, pixelated tower, square and bulky, stretching all the way up through the digital roof of mapping dimensions.

"I guess this warrants investigation" Noah said. He glided over and disengaged his thrusters completely while keeping his wheels. As soon as he tried to skate for the door he slipped, lost his balance, and rolled right onto his back. "Crap. That's right. I don't know how to skate." He therefore removed the wheels entirely and stretched his legs to get used to walking again. He entered the tower through a creaky, blocky door and locked it behind him with his hacking gun. He looked around at the room, decked out in the most high-definition digital furniture and aesthetics he had seen in the game thus far. It was borderline realistic with the exception that Noah still had his totally unrealistic gun and rocket attachments still equipped.

"Oooooh-kayyyy" Noah said. "I guess I found the safe room...." Noah looked around, warily glancing over his shoulder, keeping his guard up as he walked through the lavish lounge. He moved past a luxuriously deep looking couch seated in front of a crackling fire, past a shelf of books which were all articulated down to the very spacing of their letters in the pages, he walked from a plush carpet onto a hard, stone floor and heard his footsteps change accordingly. It was undoubtedly the most realistic room he had been in thus far, which only lent to his assumption that he was in a private study for the programmers and producers to rest in for when the final betting moments came. A possible digital parlor for a betting pool that had since evaporated.

"Now" he said "to look for a computer..." Noah searched briefly through two similar rooms of the huge tower, looking for a computer or equivalent console, but found nothing on the bottom floor. The room repeated itself in a different set up each time, three room linked by wide arches of doorways, but in the third room there was a long and winding oak-railing staircase that led up and around a corner. Noah scaled the stairs and turned a corner into a new room, this one decked from wall to wall in technology and lockers. It was a testing room for models. Noah opened a locker and was caught in the holographic image of a pyro suit that scanned to fit him perfectly. He stepped out of the image in his own torn clothing but saw the data get stored in the locker as it shut itself.

"Yep" Noah said. "Testing room. I'm on the right track to find the debugging program for this game. Then I can get myself back into the game and balance the teams out a bit while I'm at it." Noah started looking around, once more patrolling through the rooms until he found a huge array stacked towers and servers all connected to a routing outlet that fed into a single, thin laptop. Noah sat at the terminal and hacked through the security codes to gain access to the true debug program.

"Is there a password that isn't 'McClean'?" Noah wondered aloud. His frist stop on his peruse through the game's structure was the weather system. It was currently set for the super hot 'scorch' mode. Noah scanned through the list of other features, all of them different and panic-inducing, until he managed to find the neutral 'cloudy' pattern of weather. "And so the great programmer said 'let there be shade in the desert'." And with a press of a button there was. The incinerating heat left and regular weather returned. There was no announcement to inform the brave soldiers of this sudden shift in game play, but it did no good regardless. The action was so intense that no part of the map was without sounds of fighting and explosions. Stalemates met impossible odds and unbeatable walls at every turn. Blue and Red held fast and strong against each other.

"Well that's not good" Noah said. "We can't have everyone just fighting for the sake of fighting in a war game." Noah started typing with extreme speed to search through the database of events and twists. He found many that were deplorable and despicable, even by the standards Chris had since lived up to, but among that rough stretch of evil he found a few that truly inspired a sense of estranged anticipation. One was labeled simply as 'bridge'. The other was labeled as 'super-weapon'. Both sounded intriguing, but the bridge sounded more balanced and doable at the moment. Noah went hacking through the program, learning the intricacies from the lines of code, and understood fully what it would do within only a short time of reading through it.

"Oh that's good" Noah said with excitement. "That'll add all kinds of strategy to this game..." He grew a somewhat mischievous smirk across his face and went to work implementing the new event. He would have it set up almost immediately, leaving the fate of the game in the hands of his comrades....

* * *

While Noah hacks, the soldiers blast and rip and fire and tear through each other! What will the outcome be? Will the Blues keep their wall of defense solid and never waver to the advance of the Reds, or will Courtney's team lay the smack down on the undeserving head of Gwen? Will Xi reemerge with her super-powered drive? Will anyone survive it!? Find out next time when the 'bridge' event gets underway here on _Total Drama Teamfortress!_


	60. 2Fort 10

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The score is 5 to 4. The Blues are holding firm their lead, but without six more captures it will all be for naught. As long as they can keep the embarrassment of their teammates to a minimal, the leaders can be satisfied. That is what they fight for. The Reds, however, fight for a total over-powering domination of their foes, a steamroll trumping brawn over brain to end the endless dispute of true power. Backing each true purpose was the promise of the competition. 300K to each member of the winning team, taxless and perfectly legal (in Canada, where the gamers are _not_). Both teams struggle against difference yet similar obstacles, but who will triumph in the end? What fates will conspire to screw them over in the very last ticking seconds of the clock? Tonight, an epic score and an amazing moment in the history of the game. The intense action, shocking twists, gut-punching humor and the daring romance, right here! Right now! It's _Total Drama Team Fortress!!!!_

It starts off now, near lunch time, with a blaring autonomous voice recorded some time in the past coming over the battlefield.

"_All currently active fighters are to report to their respective intel rooms immediately for debriefing by their team leaders and lunch."_

"Lunch!" Owen growled. Suddenly alive, he sprinted the length of his base and was the first to arrive. He dove behind the desk, crazed with hunger, and started searching in vain for a scrap of food. The rest of his team arrived after, Gwen and Trent entering last, side by side.

"Unbelievable" Gwen said in exasperation. "It's half-way over and we're barely in the lead." She paced to the wide window and leaned against the glass with a tired sigh. "Where is Noah? What's happened to him?"

"He was cracking codes" Trent mentioned. "They could have caught him for cheating. I mean, I haven't seen him at all for a while."

"It's true" Cody said. "Noah isn't the type of leader to just lay low and let everyone do their own thing."

"No one's seen him, right?" Gwen said to the room.

"I haven't sensed him at all" Izzy said. "It's like he's gone. Removed from the virtual plane altogether and placed somewhere arcane and mysterious. He's been spirited away to another dimension...."

"He got kicked from the game" Heather said, confident in her baseless assumption. Gwen and Trent turned with worry to the speakers on the wall, hoping to hear the ironically well-timed wit of their leader. Nothing happened. The only sound was the beeping of the machines and the voracious moaning and chuckling of Owen. Izzy went over to the green-eyed beast of hunger and rage to try and calm him down with gentle strokes down his back. Eventually his heaving breaths slowed down and, like some hypnotized bear, he was calm and sitting on the floor.

"""

"It's been a grueling day" Beth said. "So far I've been blown up, back-stabbed, impersonated, gunned-down and generally beaten to a pulp more times than I can remember. Yet, somehow, I still feel the urge to carry on and get blown up some more, and I'm sort of excited about it. I think all this fighting is making me militarized or something..."

"""

"Okay" Gwen announced, "we need to plan. I'll take up the responsibility to lead in Noah's absence."

"Is that what Noah said to do?" Lindsay asked.

"We made this plan earlier" Gwen said. "I'm in charge of defense and Heather's in charge of offense in the event that Noah can't do either."

"Right" Heather said. "Gwen and I are leading right now, and right now, I move that we divide up the team between its offensive and defensive forces so we can plan around our team mates a little better."

"Good idea" Gwen said. "Since we're closer to a victory than the Reds are, I'll let you start with the offense."

"Thanks" Heather said.

"""

"Am I going crazy?" Leshawna asked. "Is Heather intentionally being nice and cordial? Is _she_ going crazy? I can't follow this anymore..."

"""

"Okay" Heather said, "obviously we'll need pushing power, so Izzy, Beth and Justin will be on offense along with Lindsay, our main running power."

"Everyone line up with her" Gwen said, acting as the primary leader. The soldiers, Beth and Justin, walked to Heather's sides. Izzy stood in front of her, turning with a wink from teacher to pupil, and Lindsay skipped over to complete the group.

"Owen and I" Gwen said "will be the mobile defense. Cody, your role is obvious. Build a sentry and defend once the break is over. Leshawna, help him out. Trent, I want to change your position. Since Courtney obviously has one over on all of us with her weapon and you're the only one who can keep her at a range, we need you down here in case she comes in with her team to head-shot all of them. You're off the battlements."

"Good plan" Trent said. "It's just as well, anyway. Courtney pretty much destroyed the battlements. I couldn't fight up there if I wanted to."

"I guess that's it" Gwen said. "I'd be more specific about it, but I'm not Noah's representative. I'm just an emergency strategic replacement."

"That sounds like the same thing" Lindsay pointed out.

"""

"I'm not trying to bring the team down" Cody said "but I don't think we can just simply pull through and win without Noah. And it's not a matter of skill or expertise, it's a matter of numbers. It won't matter how good our strategy is. This map is symmetrical. Anything we can do, they can do on their side with more pure offensive power backing it. Even if we got all our soldiers backing my turret, their soldiers have their own medics to keep them healed _and_ an engineer's dispenser. Any way I look at it, that's a losing battle!"

"""

* * *

At the Red base the tension was palpable. Courtney sat behind the desk in the swivel chair with her living assets lined up in front of her. Her mind was racing to deliberate on her course of action. The food had yet to arrive to distract her stupider soldiers, so she had to reach them first.

"Alright" Courtney began. "We know they're in the lead, and they're the kind of team that's going to stay there without working very hard. So, we can assume that, while they'll keep up their high standards of defense, they'll also be investing in their offense with their most powerful fighters leading the charge. I'd expect Owen, who's out of shape, to stay on defense with Gwen, but we can leave that as a variable."

"So what're you saying?" Duncan asked.

"Heather, Lindsay, and Izzy" Courtney said "are the most definite offensive fighters they'll send to capture the intel. They'll probably use Lindsay to carry the intel while her team carries her tactically and strategically. Two more wild cards are their extra troops. Charging into our base with only three people, no matter how powerful, is a stupid idea. Let's plan against their attack under the assumption that they'll include Beth and Justin, who are offense-class Soldiers."

"Then the rest of them are on defense" Duncan said, musing his own plans. "As long as we can avoid them we should be fine. If we move quick I can get our team to dodge them entirely by repelling down to the base of the pond-bed with my grappling mortar, but it'll only work if they're already in _our_ sewers."

"We can risk that" Courtney said. "We just need enough people on defense to hold them all off. Who wants to volunteer to stay here?" Zeke, Geoff and Bridgette all volunteered at once. Courtney wrote it down and waited. No one else was offering at the time, so she looked down her list of pros, cons, and strategic values listed beside everyone's name, Zeke's stretching to the end of the college-rule notepad and curling down, and checked two more off. "We'll have five on defense, six on offense to power through whatever defense they have planned."

"Who are the other two?" Harold asked.

"You and me" Courtney said. "No one's a better melee fighter than you, Harold, and we can use that to hold off either Izzy or Heather. I can just cap the others and firefight with my automatic. The only potential problem with our set-up, besides spying problems, will be Lindsay. I'm sure she'll just wait until there's too much smoke and battle to detect her, then charge in and run out with the intel before we can react."

"I'll stay behind" Tyler offered "to make sure she doesn't get too far. I'm just as fast as her in the corridors. Like, she's got the super-sonic shoes, but she can only use them on straight-breaks and stuff."

"No" Courtney denied. "You need to be on offense to get the intel. The Scout is our fastest class and we need to take the advantage it gives us."

"Well wait" Eva said. "Speed is all well and good, but in the end we need endurance in our carrier. I say let him stay behind and patrol, get an advance on defending by blasting and dashing when he spots the enemy. I can carry the intel. If Heather's coming here then I'll have nothing to worry about from their defense."

"Right..." Courtney said, rubbing her chin. She wrote it all down on her pad and marked her expertly crafted strategy off with a check across her signature. "Great plan. We'll go with that. Eva, DJ, Duncan, Sadie and Katie will be on offense with Eva as the main carrier. If she falls, somehow, Sadie will pick-up."

"Got it" Duncan said as he loaded his grappling hook into his mortar.

"Yes ma'am!" Sadie and Katie said in unison with a salute. Courtney's entire line, save for Eva and Duncan, gave her a salute. The MVPs just shared a united sense of respect, and between Duncan and Courtney a stronger more rebellious romantic tension.

"""

"I'm not gonna deny it" Duncan said. "Courtney and me have something going on. She's got the power and I'm looking to nab some of it. I'm sure, if I had the power, she'd be looking for a way to grab it too. That's why we get along so well. Similar chemistry in our villainy."

"""

"_Attention competitors"_ the autonomous, machine-generated voice announced, _"virtual food will be delivered to the respective intel rooms shortly. Afterward an event will occur in the center of the map."_

"What?" Courtney exclaimed. Her entire team fell from attention and looked to the speaker on the wall. Even as the Blues were finalizing their plans and calming an excited Owen they turned to their wall and waited in anxious curiosity.

"_The rules are this:"_ the voice continued. _"Each team will be given a node on either side of the broken bridge. The team's respective engineers must work on building an event-specific structure that can only be accessed within the node to recreate the bridge as an indestructible metal reversion with an impenetrable metal roof. The structure must be constantly built by the engineers to achieve progress. The team with the most progress out of one hundred will receive a special prize of a constant **grenade spawn to be placed in a random spawn room** of their base."_ All eyes locked and froze to the walls. The advances were more than obvious, even for the more dumbfounded members of each team. This shocking new twist only came with a single catch, voiced by a timid Zeke.

"What about the sun, eh?" he asked. A brief pause passed.

"_Weather pattern: Normal"_ the voice announced. _"Desert Scorching mode has been disabled."_

"Thank you" Zeke called.

"It's one-way, dude" Duncan said. "I don't think they can here you." Courtney gripped her pen until it broke in her hand. She then picked up and handkerchief from her suit breast pocket and wiped the black off her hands.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that..." she said.

"""

"All this time" Courtney began "I thought I was the only one to notice Noah's absence on my team. I thought that thinking that was a little far-fetched, even for my team, and that someone had to notice how much easier it was to penetrate the Blue defenses without Noah's monstrosities pushing them back." She sighed and slumped down. "I'm, for once, disappointed that I was right...But this also confirms that Noah has taken himself to a whole new level of manipulation. He's steering the game's events in his team's favor without drawing attention to himself! That means the advantage could still be ours!!!"

"""

* * *

The food was carted in somehow without anyone noticing. Even Owen didn't pick up on it until the wafting smell of roasted turkey and smoked ham and bacon-chedder-cheese fondue soup filled the room. Through no delegation whatsoever the feast had begun and ended with the same person. Owen ate the entire cart of food and fell asleep in the corner. The cart refilled itself and more careful rations were distributed by Gwen and Leshawna to ensure that no one followed in Owen's inhuman footsteps of eating past his limit and resting it off in a virtual world. They wanted their troops energized without lethargy from fullness, and weighed the food carefully.

The Reds did the same, but without anyone in particular gorging themselves asleep. Eva had more food for her bigger body, but aside from her everyone was fed so as to expend only the first loading of food without wasting anything. The lunch breezed past in ten minutes despite the caution against rushing and choking on anything. Both teams had the exact same plans in mind, and the sum of those actions would meet at the middle of the map.

Two tiny nodes, one Red one Blue corresponding to the base they were nearest, were across from each other marking the starting points where the new metal bridge would be built. The objective was simple: have an engineer build the bridge while his teammates protected him and allowed the task to finish. If the engineer died his structure would remain, and damaging it would retract the progress made, but eventually he would respawn and continue work. The goal for the Blues was to defend and build as fast as possible, but the Reds dictum was much more simple. Kill the Blues and keep them from building at all, while letting Zeke build as he pleased.

The sun was shining but the ground was cool. The dirt far below was just that: no dried or moist or quick-sand mud, just dirt with grass as if it had always been an unused patch of land. The water would inevitably return, along with the hazards, but for now it was a soft grassy trench bordered on all sides by concrete with rocks piled up next to each moss-grown sewer pipe that led into and out of each base.

The Blue team surfaced first. The predetermined defense formation rose up from the Blue base and dropped down to begin their work. Cody threw his structure down, a tiny metal canister that folded out as he wrenched it, and his defenders surrounded him. Owen stood in front, directly blocking Cody from all frontal harm. Gwen stood far behind, crouching down behind the dispenser Cody threw down before starting his bridge. Trent was ducking out from the right door to his base, glancing around and searching through his scope.

"Incoming" he warned. "Left side." He went prone and fired. Courtney jumped back, smirked and cocked her gun. Her fight had begun. As for the rest, her defensive force had been split. Now with Zeke there was a flank of soldiers, Sadie and Katie, and the lone Eva. Down below, getting a leg up on the competition, Tyler led the charge through the sewers and stopped halfway to wait for the rest of his team to come after him. Only Harold was missing, obviously remaining far behind as the final wall of defense.

"Come on, dudes!" Tyler called, desperate to hurry onward. Little did he know, he stood in the exact middle of the trench, dead center of the map, right over the new spawn point for the regular grenade box. Suddenly, with an equipment click, he wore a belt of pipe bombs and eyed them in total surprise.

"Ah, great!" Duncan shouted. "Jock-boy's got the grenades."

"What's so bad about that?" Tyler asked.

"**RAAAAHHHH!!!!!**" cried Izzy from her team's sewers. Tyler, instead of shaking fearfully at the berserk cry that always preceded untimely death, held up his finger to preemptively silence Duncan and armed a grenade. He lobbed it at full strength, winding his jock arm and heaving the slender bomb into the sewer where it bounced against the wall and rolled around the corner. "Hey cool! A bone! I'm gonna chew it!"

"Izzy, stop!" Heather pleaded.

"Get back!" Justin shouted. "She's lost control already!" A gnawing sound was heard just before a tremendous explosion and the ricochet of uncountable metal nails. Izzy was dead, obviously. Her team had taken shelter and suffered no damage aside from the loss of their most powerful, manic warrior. Now Heather took charge of the task at hand and stayed her allies with a steady hand.

"I'll take care of this" she said. She drew her sword and approached the right-then-left S curve in the angled sewer tunnel. Duncan came up first, running interference for Tyler. He shot immediately at Heather, ignoring the distance between them as damage he could easily heal later. Heather dashed under the grenade. He fired again, this time off the ground, but with a sweeping slash of her sword hse disabled his grenade by slicing it in half along with his chest. One more cut decapitated him. Beth and Justin rounded the corner to check on her progress. She stood with her front, covered in blood, turned away from them and a thumb up to her side in their plain view.

"Nicely done" Justin said, awing at the bloody scene in silence. Heather slashed away the blood from her sword and spun it around to sheathe it. Rockets blared from the open tunnel which Heather flipped away from. Her team was up against some impressive odds. Tyler, Geoff, Bridgette, and DJ came charging up the rocks to invade the base. Tyler kept at the back and readied himself to throw another grenade. Geoff rounded the corner and fired immediately, but hit nothing as no one was there. He waited and heard footfalls on the metal surface. Geoff fired again and had his rocket deflected in mid-air, right back into his face. Heather was decloaked by her action but Geoff was stunned from the rocket he took to the face. His health still spilled over, however, as Bridgette hadn't stopped healing him.

Tyler tossed another grenade that bounced from the floor against the wall and then right into Heather's hand. She spun around and tossed it back, rolling it around the round metal wall of the tube and landing it perfectly under Bridgette's dress. She looked down with a pale look of horror, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped.

"""

"You know that feeling" Bridgette began "where you know something bad is coming and your insides kind of cramp up and you feel like you're about to pee? Yeah. I know that feeling. It's the same feeling you get when a pipe-bomb filled with nails rolls under your dress!"

"""

The explosion killed her instantly and greatly injured Tyler, who was right behind her. DJ caught him and started healing him as they retreated, unable to do anything more to advance. The super-powerful MVP Heather had stolen the fight from them and was taking her force ahead with a vengeance. DJ and Tyler initiated their tactical retreat, firing behind them at the pursuing, nimbly dodging Heather and her soldiers, leading them to their ultimate trap...

* * *

Up top the building race was well underway with Blue in the percentile lead. Owen was blocking the shots made by Eva while returning fire as he pleased, walking forward against the destructive blasts of power she put out. Gwen kept him healed and kept herself safe by hiding behind his girth and Cody's own thin frame. Courtney and Trent were still caught up in shooting each other out and left the rest of their teams alone. Sadie fought back with her rockets, blasting Owen back along with Eva's pushing, forceful gatling gun fire. Owen was walking forward and leaning forward with the weight of his gun to stay ahead of his protectorate Cody, lest the massive firepower push him clear over his team's current priority asset.

"Sweet bajeebus!" Owen shouted, losing wit to necessity to voice his strain. "This is hard!"

"Keep it up, Owen!" Gwen called. Trent ducked out and skimmed a bullet across Katie's side. She ducked back with Sadie and they both began healing. Trent ran back and reloaded, hearing the wood splinter behind him as yet another wall-piercing bullet blasted past him. He took cover on the other side of the wall next to the sewer entrance, knowing no matter what great bullets Courtney was packing he was safe behind this much wall. He waited for five bullets, ran out to the other door, did a falling prone duck and fired at Courtney, just barely missing her as she ducked away. He then rolled back and ran once more to reload.

Courtney did the same routine, save for the full retreats for safety. She replaced the regular bullets with her more powerful rounds, only five for each magazine, hollow tipped and able to blast holes in thick metal, and cocked her gun to fully load it up.

"Bring it on, baby-face" she said in a leading taunt. "I've got enough bullets here to take down a battalion! I've got more than enough for you!" She ducked out and was caught by the concentrated cone of fire provided by Owen's super gatling gun. He changed his target and was indiscriminately firing at her now, keeping her at bay while Trent picked apart her entire team. She ducked away, enduring minor damage, and used her X-ray scope to spot an opening leading straight to Owen's head behind her own cover. She saw, through the scope, a feint splatter on the wall as well as the limp falling of Katie.

"Dammit!" she cursed.

"Hey boss!" Tyler called. Courtney snapped her neck around and saw DJ and Tyler in their strategic retreat.

"Hide! Quick!" DJ called. Courtney realized what they were doing quickly, but she didn't hide. She turned full around, sliding her foot along the ground and took a knee to steady her aim. She had instant-death bullets equipped. On a critical hit hydrostatic shock would take effect, and no matter where she hit would be an instant kill through the instantaneous liquification of her target's internal organs from the piercing effect of her super-powerful bullets. Even if a critical hit didn't happen. She could easily blow a debilitating hole in someone's torso or blow off both their legs if she was careful. And she was. Tactically, Courtney was the best sniper in the game.

"""

"I'm not one to brag" Courtney began with a transparent modesty "but before the match I looked up my stats on a fansite that tracks everyone's progress in the game based on confirmed kills and perceived ranking on an international level. Apparently, I'm number three behind 'Xx_boomheadshot_xX' and 'Ark-killer'. I looked it up and found out 'Ark-killer', the second best, is actually Noah's name on the gaming network. That means I'm just below Noah in terms of skill as a sniper. I aim to do better than that, not by placement and raw skill, but by my timing. Even if Noah can out strategize me, if his rhythm is off, he's a dead man, and I know he knows it..."

"""  
Courtney steady steady and in place, waiting to spring her trap and clip someone's wings. Justin came running out first. He stayed straight ahead, not seeing Courtney as she fired. His head blew apart in a fantastic display of bloody fireworks. His body proceeded until it hit the wall. Courtney aimed to the left and saw Lindsay skidding her boots to a stop in the dirt only to get her winged sandals and feet blown apart by the hollow bullet. She was tripped by her own footless-ness and fell flat to her back, vulnerable to a final killing shot to her already aching head. Beth jumped in with her bazooka armed and fired directly at Courtney. The sniping superior smiled and rolled out of the way, firing as she did, clipping Beth's shoulder and inducing hydrostatic shock for a lucky instant kill. She had used three bullets so far and needed only one to finish her fight. She aimed her sight at the hurriedly crawling Lindsay and fired.

The bullet exploded in mid air and something hit against a wall. Heather decloaked after deflecting one of the bullets with her now broken sword nearly falling out of her hand. The jarring stun of the powerful block had shaken her and left her unconscious. Lindsay was defenseless once more. Courtney sneered and aimed again, but something she heard reset her priorities to the front line she had so blatantly ignored. The loud thud of a heavy girl's body and the silence of the battlefield outside told her that she was losing the main battle already.

She snapped out of her cover, ducking outside the door, and used her last, super-powerful bullet to pierce through Owen and Trent who she clipped at an angle. Trent lost an arm and ran off to recover it. Owen lost his face and fell forward, down into the pit. Cody continued to built with a hardhat on his head, a futile defense against Courtney, and now Gwen took it upon herself to undo what Zeke had managed to do.

Two long blue strips of metal had extended out and were reaching over to the other side, interlocking with the red strips that retreated a tiny increment with each hit of the long-distance syringe gun that was fired across the gap. The metal locked itself in place, boring into the concrete ledge and growing out metal panels to hold the locks in place, providing the frame for the bridge, wide enough for two people to cross at once. Now the rest of the bridge began to fold out from the metal box. The sides dropped down and began unfolding, multiplying, filling out a patchwork frame one panel thick and thickening with every passing second. The bridge was being steadily built by the Blues.

"BAM!" Courtney shouted. Gwen got caught between the eyes. Cody squealed with fear and ducked under his hardhat. It was all in vain. She cocked her gun back and fired another shot, this time with a verbose, raging "BANG!!!" The shot echoed loudly through the map. Cody's progress halted with a single quick blast to the head, pierced right through his plastic hat. The progress rate was currently stalled at 9% Blue, 2% Red. The day was long and just beginning, and much more progress could be made...

* * *

Izzy respawned with a growl. Her blatantly embarrassing and humorous death didn't sit well with her. She escaped her base through the battlements, jumped down to the grassy trench far below, barely dodging one of Courtney's bullets, and landed with a severe crunch. Both her legs were broken and coiled up like accordions.

"Oh right!" she jovially realized. "I can only do that when I'm _berserk!_ Ha!" Brushing the incident off as nothing, she began crawling for the Red base, still completely intent on rampaging to the fullest of her ability. She was stopped by immediate hail-fire form above courtesy of Courtney's old-school Tommy gun.

"""

"Didn't see that coming!" Izzy exclaimed. "Wow! Courtney should've been a pyro, you know? I mean, someone else would have been a sniper, obviously, but she's just so good at getting in just the right spot for an ambush, you know? That's what makes a pyro perfect, their ambush quality.....Oh. That's not what I usually do though, is it? I haven't used my flamethrower in.....uh, have I used it at all this match? Since my first berserk I've been having serious memory problems. I can barely remember my name! Is it...is it, Birdy? Tracy? Izzy! Izzy, that's it!"

"""

Courtney stood steadfast to guard her team's greatest asset for the time being until the engineer could return to continue the work that had been halted and so rudely destroyed. With a scowl of anger she aimed her sniper at the central node of Cody's construct, thinking all the damage she would do would be relative to where she hit, and prepared to fire. However, the hum of a rocket distracted her and forced her to dodge to the side. Justin was at the Blue battlements, strafing and taunting her by running backwards with his shirt gone and his body shining with oil. It only made him a more apparent target. She aimed up to cap him but got a fatal sword through her throat as Heather killed her with what was left of her blade. The round, blunt notch in her sword stuck out like a sore thumb and dulled her killing edge as much as it had shaken her mind. She looked tired and dreary and half-asleep. Half-dead, in fact.

"Ugh" Heather groaned as she held her head. "You bitch! My ears are still ringing!" Lindsay, meanwhile, had followed Heather far enough to recover her feet and heal up. Now she was on her way down below to recover the unguarded intel...or so she thought. Waiting in the intel room, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, was Harold, meditating, laying in perfectly serene wait for his enemies to come to him. He heard the rapid clicking of heels a distance away. He opened his eyes, removed his noseplugs and stood up, spitting out a bland and saturated bar of wood.

"""

"It's common knowledge" Harold proclaimed "that when one sense leaves the other senses become stronger. Therefore, by deactivating my senses of sight, smell and sound, my senses of feeling and hearing will be amplified. I tried it in real life and got about 30% of the results I got here. I'm not to surprised, though, as metal also tends to produce echos when the reverberations of sound-" The video cut out there as he rambled on almost endlessly afterward.

"""

Lindsay came sprinting around the corner and swooped through the room quickly, fearing that she would spring a trap, not knowing that she did. Thanks to the magic of the virtual world, Harold's perfectly stylish samurai swipe that cleaved so elegantly through her neck had a withheld effect. Lindsay managed to carry the intel to the top of the spiraling walkway before her body fell and her head rolled into the hay.

"Huh" Lindsay said, decapitated but still verbal. "I was wondering why my neck felt so airy all of a sudden..."

"Gah!" Harold grunted in extreme exasperation. "I should have just stabbed her! She got too far! Now I have to relocate!" Harold prepared to move out, but not before he heard the heavy breaths of Heather as she entered the room and glared him down. Dizzy but otherwise fine, Heather was decked in the blood of her freshest kill, poor Bridgette and Geoff whom she met on her way down. Harold turned with a glare and met her glowing blue visor that covered her baggy eyes.

They engaged in a dodging contest almost immediately, throwing knives and leaping through the air between them, neither of them sustaining a hit. Heather dashed in, threw her last handful and engaged Harold with a solid stab to his shoulder. He countered with a single attack that Heather blocked. He hit her sword right on the fractured notch and made the final push, breaking her sword and leaving her speechless.

"""

"Here's the problem" Heather said, eying the hilt of her blade very carefully. "It's made in France. Since when does France manufacture Japanese swords!? This is cheap, imitation, reality-TV budget bull****!!!" and with that she hurled the broken sword at the camera and broke the feed.

"""

Harold ran up to defend the intel that had dropped in his base but arrived to find it already being guarded by Sadie and Katie. Eva stomped into the respawn room and made an instant rush out to the battlements. Harold followed her and landed at the point where Zeke was working against an impossible rush of time to make up what had been undone by the assaults made on his structure.

"Let's take their bridge down too" Harold said.

"We're changing the plan" Eva said. "How accurate are your knives?"

"Deadly" Harold said, holding up one of his flying daggers. "The only down side is that they're slow. The target has to be either close or completely static for me to hit them."

"Get behind me" Eva demanded. "Throw when you feel like you have a good chance of hitting someone, okay!?"

"Okay!" Harold said. Just as the plan was formed and Harold got himself into place, the battle began again. Owen came stomping out with his gun blasting rounds. Cody dropped down from above and planted his dispenser, then began hastily constructing the bridge. Gwen dropped down as well, guarded from above by both Beth and Justin who concentrated fire on Eva. Just as she was staring down her half-health mark, DJ rushed into scene and started healing her. Backing him was Tyler, who began pistol sniping as fast as possible while strafing at incredible speed. Trent ducked out as Tyler was changing direction and sniped him off, ducking back with a grin.

"Get Trent!" Eva shouted to Harold.

"Got it" Harold said. He knew the pattern that Trent was going to take. He came out from behind Eva spinning, flipped through the air, fore-flipped ahead all with a knife in hand and let the momentum swing his arm like a pendulum, carrying his knife at maximum speed just in time to split Trent's face right between the eyes, killing him instantly with a critical hit.

"""

"It always sucks to get headshot" Trent said. "Especially as a sniper. That just feels ironic. But when you can see the bullet coming and watch it travel through the air, it just makes it a lot more painful to have to endure. Although, in an actual battle, you wouldn't have to endure it as long as it killed you, right?"

"""

* * *

The teams are granted a new objective, and behind it a huge reward. What will the outcome be? Will there be action, adventure, humor and amazing new twists? Or will one team simply triumph because 'they do' and because they're just stronger? Which team will get the prize, the glory, and the obscene advantage next time? Stake you bets! No holds barred! It's Red bridge versus Blue bridge next time on _Total Drama Team Fortress!_


	61. 2Fort 11

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The match was reaching an uncomfortable stalemate after the halftime. The bridge was still unfinished with the advantage leaning in the favor of Blue team. Even with both teams of defense alternating their aim from the bridge to each other, the ratio didn't change as both engineers rapidly smashed on the control nodes to build them more and more rapidly that the other. It was a perfect draw all over. Owen was shooting Eva, the super medics were healing their heavies, the soldiers were firing rockets and retreating to dispensers for health. Harold left the Red side in favor of forming an offense team as they respawned to capture the enemy intel.

It was going smoothly, aside from the obvious draw, as both engineers took advantage of their team's resourcefulness to fire their own wounding bullets at each other without lifting from the most pressing duty.

"You're pretty hand with a wrench" Cody shouted across the chasm at Zeke "for a chicken-farmer!"

"I've used a wrench before" Zeke said. "I've fixed my pappies tractor on his farm by myself! When's the last time you ever held a _real_ tool that didn't have a bunch of stupid numbers on it, eh?"

"You can main someone with a compass" Cody shouted "just as well with a wrench."

"How?" Zeke taunted. "Give them bad directions? Hehehe!"

"Wrong compass!" Cody called. "The one used to draw and measure circles! I bet the most complex math instrument you've ever held was an abacus!"

"A what?" Zeke shouted.

"My point precisely" Cody taunted. "You couldn't do complex differentiations and inverse equations if you were staring at an eye chart of reference material!"

"A what chart?" Zeke shouted.

"""

"I'm usually not one to poke at someone's weakness" Cody admitted. "In fact, I'm usually the one getting poked, but in this case, seriously, I think the educational council should step in to take kids like Zeke somewhere productive. I mean, not knowing what an abacus is can be permissible at best, since no one uses them except in archaic representation, but seriously? Not knowing an eye chart? What's the benefit of sheltering _society_ and _knowledge_ away from an individual who's expected to work for their life?"

"""

Cody shook his head and kept tapping away, so engrossed in his work that he hadn't noticed how thin his defense had become. It was Gwen against DJ now, and both were firing in long arcs with their suringe guns to try and shoot each other. However, by ridiculous coincidence, their syringes all hit in mid air and either harmlessly fell off course or just clashed and fell into a pile down at the bottom of the grassy trench between the panels of metal being slowly built into each other. The medics suddenly ran out of bullets and threw their guns away. Their eyes met with glares and they walked forward with their saws out, waiting for the bridge to complete its base just enough for them to fight on. Cody's Blue metal tiles pushed and extended their way out farther than Zeke's Red. The ratio was unchanged, Blue was still winning.

Both medics had the same plan, win and kill the enemy engineer so theirs could keep going and build unimpeded, then undo everything they could to give their team a better advantage. Suddenly, just past the middle near the Red's side, two metal tiles clicked and connected together, forming a straight and narrow walkway from side to side. Gwen yanked up her mask and DJ tightened his scrub doo-rag. They charged and clashed their serrated metal bone saws together. Gwen pulled a trigger on the inside of the guarded saw handle and a needle on the broad edge shot out from the tip. DJ wavered away from it and found that his saw had the same function. He charged in again with the intent to stab at her with the drug-coated needle just as she jumped up and slashed down. DJ stepped back, almost to the edge of his bridge while Gwen continued pressing on him.

"Still not used to actual combat?" Gwen asked, pressing his saw against his chest. DJ flexed his arms and pushed away. His superior strength to Gwen's well-trained agility were pit against each other in tumultuous combat while the engineers continued to build unguarded and unaware.

"Hey" Cody called to Zeke.

"What?" Zeke called back.

"Is your arm getting tired yet?" Cody asked, half taunting and half concerned.

"No" Zeke said. "I'm alright. I'm using my back to swing, mostly, and my legs, eh."

"Oh" Cody said. He tried resting his arm, leaving it limp, while he torqued with his back. It didn't have the same effect as his arm in terms of strength but it was just as fast, so he kept at it for a bit until his back and legs became tired as well. Then he simply switched arms and wiped his sweating brow with his shaking, exhausted right sleeve. He and Zeke stopped at the same time to look up and check on their progress, as well as their team's defense.

They were alone. Gwen was making a tired, drunken stagger towards Zeke, but her eyes turned up in her head and she fell with a leaking wound in her neck that bordered with a ring of toxic green. DJ was decapitated in the middle of the bridge. Zeke was the first to stand up in a panic and let go of his wrench. Cody misread his from across the gap as an offensive gesture and drew his pistol out in defense. Zeke saw Cody's pistol and got out his shotgun in retaliation. Cody raised a curious eyebrow, judging Zeke's weapon choice from afar, and forcing him to awkwardly fumble the gun back to his side while he replaced it with his pistol.

"Don't move eh" Zeke warned as he pulled back the hammer of his gun. "I-I'm warning you!" Cody could sense his nerves shaking from all the way across the gap. He smirked and knelt down on one knee, taking precise aim to Zeke's head. Zeke imitated him, his gun held steady by a firm grip with both hands, and they aimed each other down in the mild, afternoon sun.

"We could just wait" Cody shouted "for our teams to come back and fight each other..."

"Or we could fight now" Zeke said, finishing his proposal options. "That way, the one of us can keep building and their team can wreck the bridge up, eh? Is that what you're planning!?" The tension was palpable, a nervous echo going from Zeke and refracting off of Cody as a calm, analytical contemplation. Cody took a step back, staying crouched, and saw Zeke mirror him. He put away his gun and Zeke did the same. They took out their wrenches, decided on a draw for now, and started hammering with all their might to build as fast as they could, prompting a sudden race between builders...

* * *

"Alright" Harold began, dressed up in his new, sleek, futuristic super-ninja stealth suit exactly similar in design with his rival's aside from the red of his visor, "let's do a quick head count."

"So we can see who keeps theirs after the attack?" Sadie said. She and Katie giggled. Harold had Sadie, Katie and Tyler joining him on the raid, gathered in the rampart courtyard to strategize. Including himself, he only counted three heads.

"Uhhh" Harold groaned, "where's Tyler?"

"He left already" Sadie said.

"What!?" Harold exclaimed. "Why didn't anybody stop him!?"

"He's doing his job" Courtney said, stepping out from the spawn room and into the gathered circle. "That's what he _needs_ to do." She jumped down from the platform and walked across the courtyard.

"He needs to be here to hear my brilliant plan!" Harold said.

"What brilliant plan?" Courtney asked. She lowered her voice and slouched to mockingly imitate Harold as she spoke. "Don't get in Izzy's way! She'll tear you apart! I'll fight her and lose and scream like a girl as soon as I see her, like a man, then let you guys get blown up while I wait for the intel to slide my way so I can run with it!"

"None of my plans have involved sacrifice" Harold said "that wasn't on my head. Besides, why are you heckling me here instead of fighting out there?" Sadie and Katie turned with glaring judgment to Courtney who kept herself smug and certain.

"Well" Courtney began, "where's our defense at? Out there. Where are all our best fighters? Out there. Who's in here with the intel?" Harold blinked and looked around.

"Uh, Duncan?" he said.

"Pssht" Courtney scoffed. "I wish. That trigger-happy idiot won't stop long enough to listen to simple orders like 'stay' or 'heel'. He's like a rabid dog!"

"""

"But he's rugged and powerful" Courtney continued lustfully, "and his devil-may-care ****-you attitude is what makes him such an asset. He's unpredictable when he isn't being ordered. He's our Izzy with more explosions."

"""

Down in the tunnel of the sewers Tyler made his rapid sprint for the Blue base under the nearly built bridge. He stepped out into the grassy trench, waded through the pile of active, full syringes and fell just beyond them. He looked back and saw his legs filled with stabbing syringes, numbing and paralyzing his legs completely.

"Oh, damn!" Tyler exclaimed. He clutched his gun in his mouth and started pulling himself towards the mound of rocks that led up the wall into the sewers. He was nearly there and ready to ascend when a pump stomped on his hand. "Ouch!" he exclaimed. He looked up and saw right up Lindsay's dress. Lindsay stepped away and tucked her dress down with a coy giggle.

"Not while we're at war, honey" she said. She aimed down at Tyler, who perched his chin to rest on his fist with a smile, and killed him. She loaded her shotgun back to the brim and clicked her heels to activate her sonic speed. She sped around the pile of needles and into the sewers, tripping over an extended leg from just around the corner. Her head smashed into the wall and streaked a trail of blood as she fell to the floor. Harold tucked his leg back and rubbed it in pain.

"Wow" Harold said. "I'm glad it isn't broken!"

"That'd be funny" Sadie said. "A stick breaking a stick!" She and Katie giggled. Harold rolled his eyes and practiced his karate kicks. His leg seemed fine again, though sore, so he continued on. Suddenly, out in the open of the green trench, the needle pile exploded and spread off into oblivion. Under them, spawning suddenly, was a grenade box! Harold saw it with great, wonderful awe and began a slow approach for it. Just beyond its glowing halo of spawning light he saw a black figure approach from the shadows of the Blue tunnel. It took a deep step forward and flipped head over heels forward. Harold leaned his body back and narrowly avoided a flying knife to the head.

Heather and Leshawna ran out from the sewer tunnel backed by Trent who remained in the cover of darkness. Heather flanked left, Leshawna ran right, both circling the grenade box, keeping a good distance, while suppressing Harold's team in their own sewers. Harold slid his hooded mask and visor over his face and held up a hand to keep the girls in place. They nodded and agreed that they weren't going anywhere. Harold cloaked and dashed out, dodging grenades left and right, making a clean break for the grenades that would win him the battle. He decloaked as soon as he picked them up, then took all three in hand and tossed them randomly. Heather tossed her knives with a leaning stomp while Leshawna fired mines in Harold's path to slow him down. The grenade balls bounced around and converged as Harold neared them, and with a flash-bang of light there were four Harold's in the field.

"Good try" the Harold's said. "It's gonna take a lot more than that to kill me!" One of the illusions disappeared. Trent had sniped it and was reloading his gun when Harold made a rapid rush at him. Trent switched for his sub-machine gun and sprayed fire to keep him away. The other Harolds engaged the other two fighters with sweeping blade swings. He chased after Leshawna while leaping and ducking her grenades and clashed swords with Heather.

"This is the real one!" Heather called. "Just get in the base!" she ordered. Leshawna stopped retreating and ran right through the Harold hologram. Sadie and Katie popped out just in time to intercept Leshawna. Sadie fired her rocket just as Leshawna fired her grenade and both girls suffered explosive splash damage. Sadie was quickly healed and ran into Leshawna's grenades as they bounced around the corner, knowing she was safe with healing. The grenades stopped, however, and the field was silent once more. Before the girls could peek out to scout Harold ran up against the wall and did a back-flip with a run up the side of the metal pipe. He raised his red visor hood and nodded at them.

"You got them both?" Sadie asked.

"As much as it pained me" Harold declared "to kill Leshawna in such an ungentlemanly way, yes, I did. They're both dead."

"Great!" Katie squealed. "Let's get moving!" Harold nodded and equipped his daggers for long-range attacking. He threw as soon as he was out on the grass, down the Blue tunnel where Trent had just recovered his post. He dudged the daggers and cocked his sniper rifle once more.

"Get ready" he said. "She's just about got them into position." Leshawna nodded. The great double-play by Heather, disguised as Harold whose body had been obliterated moments earlier, had culminated as soon as she ordered the girls to stay in position on the Blue rocks, under which were hidden an entire clip of sticky mine grenades. Harold circled the corner, disengaged her disguise and nodded. Leshawna clicked the side of her gun and blasted the girls along with the rock slag under them. Heather and her team ran out through the clearing dust and made a fast dash into the Red tunnels. Their offense continued while the defense gathered above...

* * *

In the tower of adversity, Noah continued his speedy hacking of the game's engine and mechanics with his masterful prowess at debugging code. He monitored Chris' changes and pre-made events, altered conditions, eliminated handicaps, sloped difficulties in challenges and programmed in his own events in the unguarded seams of the system defense. All was going well until his speedy, observant eyes monitored the log-in of a certain player by the name of 'MasterChief101'.

"Oh no" Noah said. He began typing rapidly and leaned over the console. "No no no! This is all kinds of bad...." Noah, upon completing his last furious storm of hacking, closed down all the programs back to the centerfold desktop of Chris and pulled out his gun in a panic.

A tall, powerful figure stalked through the halls of the labyrinthine tower wielding, among other things, a drum-clip automatic shotgun labeled 'Sidney'. He was a frightening man with a deep, scowling jaw and glowering glare behind a fiberglass visor. He was garbed up in the style of a real-life Marine military officer with a huge army jacket and waist full of filled beige pockets for clips, munitions and miscellaneous combat arms. A kukri knife was harnessed on his right leg. He growled loudly as he approached a door in the darkness of the adjoining maintenance hallway tunnel and kicked it down.

"GRRRRR!!!!" Chef growled loudly into the room. His mad eyes shook behind his thick protective visor and his huge back stretched the fabric of his pale-green, worn out army jacket. Even the name tag was marked 'Chef' on his chest which was adorned with various medals of honor. Chef looked around the room, always keeping his shotgun aiming from his hip, and walked in. The wall next to the main debug terminal was covered and completely blocked off by army-surplus style boxes, arms enough for a small militia army to fit themselves with in the game world. On the other side was a scarcely decorated wall and a staircase that led up to the next level of the huge plain tower.

"This is Chef" he relayed into his earpiece communicator. "I've got nothing on this floor. Looks like Mr. Big-Head got smart and left before someone came for him."

"Well duh" Chris replied. He was stationed back in the real world, trying desperately to find all the flaws and holes that Noah had made in the program so he could, with his amateur skills, undo them and return the fullest control of the game back into his own hands. "This is Noah we're talking about. He knows this game better than we do. You've gotta get in his mind, man. Use those advanced military skills you're always talking about, for crying out loud!"

"I'm trying!" Chef exclaimed. "Excuse me for not succeeding after **TWO MINUTES!!!** Hasn't even been two minutes, you're already barking at me. God, damn, I hate my life!"

"Whatever" Chris said, making Chef seethe even harder. "Just kill Noah soon and call me back. I'll stand by to unplug him from the system."

"Roger" Chef said. "Everything's oscar mike. I'm going to search the next floor up."

"Good plan" Chris said. He disconnected the radio and looked back at the row of cryogenic bodies floating in strange liquid within the glass tubes. Noah's tube was darkened for he had been removed from the game, but it still bubbled and lights below the status console still strobed on and off. He was between in and out. He was no longer a registered, active participant in fighting or playing at all, but he was still connected to the game world. His imprisonment was meant as a punishment, not a removal, otherwise he would have been pulled from his tube and kicked out physically. Now he was playing and was incapable of being removed from the physical mind harness until he was in the respawning stage between lives. Then he could be disconnected and removed from the game permanently by Chris.

And Noah knew this. He hid behind the boxes and stacks of heavy army crates with his hax gun armed, reading from the manual on the cryogenic tube operations to get one up on Chris yet again. His brain began its rapid process of thought and planning as Chef ascended the steps and formulated an idea.

"Easy fix" he said. He aimed his gun at the floor, which there was barely any of that he wasn't already sitting on, and fired. A complete replicate of the computer appeared, as he had copied it and all that was in it into his gun, and pasted it back in the game world. "I just have to hope Chef doesn't come back down in the next couple minutes..." Noah began his hacking once more. Just as he had thought before, when he started his plan, the actions he took on the screen before him were carried out on the original copy's screen. He worked fast and typed furiously, so hard and swift that Chef's keen military senses caught the sound of keys clacking from the next floor up. He growled and turned his head to the stairs he had just ascended.

Noah closed his screen down just as Chef leaped down the staircase and turned with his gun armed, scanning the room for Noah's presence. "I know where you're at" Chef lowed as he glared at the stacks of boxes at the wall. He started marching over when his ears once again picked up something strange. It was the sound of a classical, calming score playing from the computer. The screen saver of the debug screen was up and running in place of the regular screen. Chef approached it slowly, thinking it was a trap, and kept his guard up. He snapped around and aimed around in paranoid jerks.

"What is this?" he asked as he looked at the screen. There was an image of frolicking animals in a meadow, but it was small and bordered by black. "Why's it so tiny? Why ain't it bigger?" Chef was completely enticed with the image and neglected his surroundings to a dangerous degree, leaving himself open to any surprise that Noah could prepare. Noah noclipped right through the boxes and stealthily stalked his way over to the stairs while Chef stared intently at the screen. Just as he was about to pull away, convinced nothing would happen, **a horrible, ghastly face popped up and the computer speakers shrieked out at him!!!**

**  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"** Chef shouted as he opened a full 12-ammo clip of shotgun rounds into the computer screen. He panted in a cold sweat and stared at the wall, which was full of bullet holes and crackling electricity. He looked around with a furious growl and started a stampede for the steps. "I'mma kill that little runt! KILL HIM!!!" Noah ran as fast as he could away from Chef. He knew, in terms of speed, Chef would catch up to him soon, and once he had a floor difference between he and his pursuer, he took in his surroundings and formed a flawless plan, just like old times.

"It's like being a newb again" Noah said. "Funny. I didn't think I'd miss it this much...." Noah dashed off screen and hid once more, prompting a survival-horror twist in the debugging tower level of Valves team-shooter masterpiece...

* * *

Izzy stood in the lowest floor of her base, smacking her lips in boredom, guarding the intel alone. She was just staring off into space, letting flies land on and off of her unblinking eyes, nearly asleep in her place. She stopped smacking her lips for a second and let her tongue roll out of her mouth. She stared down at her tongue like it was staring up at her and moved it out of her mouth and towards her eyeball with a groan.

"Izzy?" Gwen called from up above. The fighting was just getting started again. Owen and Eva got into place at roughly the same time while their medics returned to their positions moments later. She was calling ahead for her team's backup to get things rolling on the offensive side. Heather and Leshawna had already lost Trent to Courtney down in the Red intel room, and by the looks of things it wasn't getting any easier for Heather and Leshawna to outsmart or fight the general sniper. "Izzy, come in" Gwen hailed. "Do you read me?"

"OW!" Izzy exclaimed over the radio.

"Are you under attack?" Gwen asked.

"No" Izzy said. "No, I just poked my eye. It hurt."

"Were you trying to trim your eyelashes with your ax again?" Gwen asked. Izzy groaned still in pain.

"No" she replied. "I was trying to touch it with my tongue and I did and it hurt...." Gwen had to pull her earpiece away from her head to make sure it was working before she continued with her briefing. "It was wet and slimy in my eye..." And she had to pause again.

"Okay Izzy" Gwen began as Izzy rubbed her closed eye from soreness. "We can handle defense from here. I need you to go through the sewers and help out Heather and Leshawna in the Red base. They're having trouble getting the intel from Courtney and they may get ambushed by Red reinforcements if they don't get some help down there ASAP."

"Roger" Izzy said. "Uh, wait, is that right? Isn't it Gwendolyn?"

"Just get going" Gwen seethed. She hung up the line and went back to her concentrated healing on Owen.

"I'm running out of juice, here!" Owen called.

"Is the dispenser out of ammo?" Gwen asked in worry.

"No" Owen said. He turned his head and revealed to her the gravity-powered soda-hat he was wearing. It was a hardhat to soften head-shot attacks with two cans of soda draining down into straws that curved together into a joint pipe that led straight to his mouth. "These things are too weak! I need two 2-liter bottles, STAT!" Gwen just glowered at him until he turned around.

"""

"What's her deal?" Owen asked. "At least I was being efficient and, like, military-style about it. It would have been worse if I was drinking it with my arm, then I'd only have one arm to fight with. I was being intelligent!"

"""

Izzy appeared under the shade of the bridge in the grassy knoll dashing along with her hockey mask and flamethrower equipped. She entered the Red tunnel and fired a long, narrow stream around the corner. The fire snaked its way around tree bends at once. When she heard no screaming she proceeded and reached the long straight tunnel that led to the stairs. She saw the water splash from a fallen invisible force and let roar another stream of flames. Harold was decloaked as his sword sliced through the fire to protect him. Izzy appeared chasing through the flames with her ax red-hot and swinging. Her flamethrower continued firing automatically on the dry metal tunnel floor, scorching and heating the rest of the metal to a hot glow.

"Gah!" Harold grunted as his blade was pushed away. "I forgot you even _had_ a flamethrower! Stupid me!"

"Yup!" Izzy said. She chopped a burning slash in Harold's chest and caught him on fire. Harold shrieked and ran around in a panic before making a tactical retreat. Izzy retrieved her flamethrower with only enough ammo left for one final shotgun-style instant-kill burning at close range. She smirked and shirked the concern off and equipped her Uzi as she ran up the stairs into the Red base. She saw Harold's smoldering body just beyond the entrance to the sewers and glanced around.

"Hey Heather" she radioed. Heather's voice came backed by a constant static of automatic fire.

"What!?" she replied.

"Can spies leave dead bodies?" Izzy asked.

"I can" Heather said. "I don't know if Harold figure it out yet." Harold had one health left and a nicked sword in his hand. He was crouched on his ballet-strengthened toes on top of the molding of the door frame, his whole body curled inward and folded into itself to hide from sight. Izzy slowly turned around to check her back, then sprayed the immediate ground around her with Uzi bullets. Dust kicked up, but no presence of Harold was found. He remained perfectly hidden, ready for his instant kill from behind whenever the chance came.

"Just in case...." Izzy said cautiously. Harold was still stayed and ready. He didn't want to move prematurely and leave himself open to his own instant death at her hands. A simple slap to the face and he would die. His chance could be nothing less than completely perfect, especially against this particularly dangerous foe. Izzy, to take the preemptive measure, removed her top and exposed her majestically tattooed back which provoked a wonderful sense of awe in Harold on sight. He lost his master balance, shouted as he fell and hit the ground with a loud crack of his neck. Izzy turned around and saw him lying dead behind her, positive that her obstacles were again.

"""

"Poor prudish Harry" Izzy said, still wearing only her flame-retardant bra. "He simply can't handle the more mature things of women, like our backs and our bitchin tattoos. He needs to stop watching all those romantic comedies to learn about women and get out more. Maybe then his apparent back-fetish will wear off."

"""

"I think I've grown a back fetish" Harold admitted in the stall. "Stalking girls from behind for most of the game has given me the skill to imprint their exact figures from behind in my mind so I always know automatically who I'm about to kill without looking at their faces. I guess that's made me appreciate backs a whole lot more, and when they're naked it's really distracting for me. I should look into reading up on this phenomenon, maybe consult some other assassins like me and compare their notes with the one's I'll eventually write up."

"""

Now that Izzy's path was clear of challenging enemies she mad her break for the Red intel room. She ran into the ramparts, scaled the winding stairs up to the straight staircase, ran down with leaps and jumps and stopped just before turning the corner into the main battle thoroughfare. She heard gun fire, return fire and grenades lobbing around. It was obviously the right place, but suspicion was still ripe in her mind. She equipped her flamethrower, set the nozzle to its closest, widest mode for an instant burning kill shot, and walked low to the ground. She saw Leshawna leaning against the wall with her grenade gun loading and the bullet-holed wall opposite her. Izzy silently made her way into the left hall where she thought heather would be.

She was alone. She peeked out and saw Courtney concentrating all her available fire on Leshawna, who continued throwing her grenades down the hall to secure the area around the intel. Izzy waited, watched and found opportunity. Courtney's drum-clip Tommy gun took approximately two seconds for her to reload and it took her an extra half of one to turn and another half second to aim her gun. It would surely take more than a second to switch guns to switch to her stun-machete, as well. Izzy's crazy genius brain made impossible calculations and her manic mouth grinned with a fanged smile under her killer mask. She waited. Courtney reloaded.

"**RAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!"** Izzy roared as she leaned out from the corner and sprinted forward. Her long flamethrower nozzle was steadily aimed at Courtney's face as she ran forward. Courtney reloaded her gun automatically and stared with wide-eyed horror at Izzy, turning and aiming down her sight to try and ward the crazed girl away with bullet fire. She didn't even get to shoot anymore. A grenade had lagged and rolled just far enough away to cause interrupting splash damage which shook Courtney's arms. Izzy slid in and leaned back as she blasted the front nozzle of her gun clear off, obliterating Courtney's head into pasty ash against the slanted glass window wall. Instant critical-hit kill.

"""

"That was ridiculous" Courtney contested. "First of all, who ever heard that rubber pants could slide across solid, polished linoleum floors? Without streaking or causing that ear-splitting sound? No, that's wrong. A flamethrower nozzle exploding out of pure firepower force? Again, I don't think so. That's what those holes are for! Plus, the gas isn't even ignited until it hits the fire which is _beyond _the nozzle. If these guys did any research at all, they'd see the obvious problems with all this!"

"""

* * *

Despite her heckling critique, the Blue girls reunited with a high-five. Izzy grabbed the intel and ran with Leshawna as her cover.

"Where'd Heather go?" Izzy asked.

"I don't know" Leshawna said with agitation. "She either died or ran away scared. You know how she is."

"I know how she used to be" Izzy said. "Heather's been more and more committed to the success of her team than the success of herself since she won the MVP. I mean, that's all she wanted, you know? Now she's a lethal combat maniac machine, like me, and she's doing better than a lot of the other melee-predominant fighters out here!"

"Yeah" Leshawna agreed. "Still, I don't know how to account for her anymore. I still can't trust her, you understand." Izzy nodded. "But in the heat of battle she's really worth trusting. She's two-faced and cunning. She's a perfect spy. I guess-" Her thoughts were cut unfortunately short by the explosive shattering force of Duncan's mine field. Izzy was knocked from the ramparts down the stairs with a crooked back and injured body as Duncan rushed in to continue his rampage of kills. Izzy managed to run away on all fours just before Duncan assailed her with another barrage of grenades.

"YEAH!" Duncan shouted. "Come on, you psycho! Give that mask some respect!!!" Duncan ran down and into his intel room, searching for Izzy in the seemingly empty room. He saw that he was right on top of the intel by the arrow on his HUD pointing straight up and fired his mortar into the ceiling. Izzy fell down, smoking and nearly dead with the intel still in her hand. Duncan moved in for the kill, taking out a whiskey bottle and breaking it into sharp, stabbing points over his own head. He wound up to stab her, but his bottle fell from his hand before he could manage to stab with it. His face was frozen in shock and surprise as it slowly, very slowly, **rolled off his neck!**

Heather stood behind him, with her blade post-swing, blood dripping from it, victorious.

"""

"Why go for the quick kill" Heather explained "when a better chance is on its way? Courtney was the small fish. I kill her, we get the intel, but we still have to make room for the reinforcements. I knew they were coming. She wouldn't stop barking at Duncan over her radio to come and help her out. So, without giving my position away at all, I hid in the rafters and waited, knowing that Duncan would come down whether she was there or not. Man, I'm brilliant!"

"""

"Thanks" Izzy said as she was pulled up to her feet. "I think he knocked my teeth loose."

"Nothing a med-bottle won't fix" Heather said. "In the meantime, let me carry that, alright? I've got more health and more agility."

"Good idea" Izzy said. "Actually, I think once I recover, I'll stick around here and catch them by surprise if they come back."

"Good idea" Heather said. "Let's go." They both departed from the intel room together and ran as far as the rampart spawn room together. Izzy got a health bottle for a full heal and an ammo box for a full flamethrower before heading back down. Just before Heather left Sadie and Katie charged from the spawn room and attacked Izzy. Heather killed Katie and while Sadie was distracted with her friend's death Izzy axed her in the back until her spine was exposed to kick. Izzy ran back down to the intel room while Heather headed out to the battlements.

"SPY!" Courtney bellowed. She was waiting already on the ramparts, having respawned recently, and sniped Heather in an instant. Heather was dead, confirmed and counted, and double-checked by Courtney. The intel was dropped within her guard. Just as she celebrated victory by reloading her gun she was sniped by Trent from across the field as he leaned out from the metal panel extension of the wall.

"Boom" Trent lowed as he reloaded. "Headshot." His manner was serious, monotonic, soldierly. The Blue team, with defeat pressing forward and morale dipping, had become a solid, perfectly operating machine of war. Their defense at the bridge was a wall impassible. Their offense, despite its setback, was staying strong. Even their wild card asset, Izzy, was armed for battle as she sweat and hid herself behind the desk in the Red base, waiting to spring up as a pyromaniac trap to snare her victims with hot, smoking death. Lindsay, Beth and Justin were rushing together through the sewers once again to reclaim the intel they had lost. It was an all-out perfect automation of parts working for a whole.

The Red team was the same way. In fact, from an analytical point, they had been that way the whole time. All their parts worked toward the same end in perfect harmony. Geoff, Bridgette and Tyler were making their rush through the sewers while the rest of the team lacking Courtney, Sadie, Katie and Duncan, were heading up the defense of the bridge, joined by the newest respawn Harold who walked down the bridge deflecting Owen's bullets with incredible grace, form and power as he made his way to the Blue side alone.

"Heads up!" Owen shouted, his two 2-liters of coke feeding his ever-drinking mouth. "Harold's coming!"

"Son of a bitch!" Gwen exclaimed. "Trent, can you cap him?"

"Already on it" Trent said. He aimed down at Harold and fired, wounding him and stunning his arm. His defense fell and the bullets tore him apart. The sides were equally disputed again. The force was the same on nearly all fronts. The offense met itself below the bridge and only Lindsay managed to survive. She ran through the sewers at sonic speed, screeched herself to a stop just inside the base slowly made her way to the ramparts with her pistol armed. She turned the corner and was blown apart by a grenade hung on the top of the door like a deadly mistletoe, armed and blown by Duncan, who had taken up defending his base from the shelter of the straight-stair shedding with his aim-sensitive mines covering every in and out of the ramparts and respawn room. His defense was perfect, except for the girl who was already past him.

Izzy continued to brood alone in the Red intel room and saw the briefcase respawn on the table she hid behind. She just glared at it and pulled up her mask to brush her hair off her forehead. A manic anger was brewing up in her solitary confinement from the battle. Her invisible 'Berserk Meter' was growing with each breath she seemed to take. The only explanation for it resulted in the far-away machinations of the godly programming of exiled Noah, who closed down yet another terminal with Chef hot on his tail as he slipped into hiding on a floor with inexplicably Egyptian themed objects...

The battle only intensified from there....

* * *

All the parts come together while moving swiftly away from each other. The soldiers of this war become ever less aware of their considerable defeat, not only in the game but through much greater circumstances than they can perceive. Will Noah get away clean? Will Izzy's mania take permanent control of her and leave her team without a tenth member? Even with the advantage of winning the Bridge Build Battle as motivation, will the Blues still manage to outdo the hard efforts of the Red team? Next week will hold no bars against the tolerance of the weak, as more tension builds than ever before thought in any reality battle game show, here on _Total_

_Drama  
Team Fortress!!!_


	62. 2Fort 12

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The bridge was nearly complete and the obvious lead was in the favor of the Blue team. Owen's steadfast defense, fueled constantly by a steady supply of cola from his gravity-drip hat, held just as his infinite-bullet offense pushed against the rival Reds. Eva's force refused to waver, her determination carved in her iron-strong face, and her impregnable defense kept Zeke under an unmoving shield. It was Heavy versus Heavy, Medic support against Medic support, and a race against time to finish the bridge and win the awesome bonus favor of perpetual grenade spawns in-base.

"We're almost there!" Cody announced. "It's over 90 percent!"

"Keep it up" Gwen said.

"Oh, man!" Zeke exclaimed as he wrenched away.

"What is it?" Eva growled.

"The readout on their progress" Zeke said with great worry. "It's over 90 percent!!!"

"What!?" Eva roared. "90 percent!? That's impossible! The scanner must be broken!"

"""

"Don't you just love it when accidents like that happen?" Chris said. "I wonder if we're lawsuit culpable for using that quite...?"

"""

"Just keep going anyway" Eva said. "We're just about done here...."

"What do you mean?" DJ asked.

"YEEEE-HAAAW!!!" Geoff screamed over the radio. He and Sadie both showed up on opposite sides of the Red battlements and opened fired across the field. Sadie held Trent back on the battlement while Geoff shot straight at Gwen and Cody.

"Air raid!" Cody shouted. Gwen was close to activating her uber-charge. The imbalanced in shooting power was now lethal. Too many rockets would deliver an eventual death to either Gwen or Cody, neither of which could be accepted in such a high-tension game. Gwen radioed immediately for help.

"Beth, Justin!" she called. "We need back-up ASAP!!!"

"We're on our way" Justin said.

"10-4!" Beth called.

"reinforcements en route" Gwen announced. "Trent, cap someone!"

"Roger" Trent said. He waited for a forth rocket to explode on the wall and darted out, intercepting an inbound rocket with his face and dying on impact with the wall he was blown into. Gwen continued sustaining damage after damage as she moved her body in front of Cody to keep him alive. She flinched to the danger and activated her uber-charge. Owen started stomping forward with his impeding gatling gun force and his huge body soaking up useless bullets while Gwen stayed in place.

"No, Owen, get back!" she called. Owen ignored her. He was drunk on a frenzy of power. He stampeded across the bridge, out of her range, flickered back down to vulnerability and drove his shoulder into Eva's gut. She was stunned and thrown back into the wall. Owen's superior weight and desperate speed didn't make her explode on contact, but rather had the ultimate push force. Greater than any rocket or compressed air, his attack blew Eva into a hole in the wall which her body had made. DJ opened fire with his syringes and felled the crazed Owen beast just as he reached the building node. Zeke winced as a huge shadow eclipsed his view of the sky and fell back to save his final seconds of life...

"""

"There can't be a worse death in this game" Eva said "than getting crushed to death by a full metric-ton of girth and good-intentions..."

"""

Zeke was dead under Owen. The symbol for the death was a stick-figure under a giant sphere with an explosive border. Eva pushed herself out from the wall and charged across the bridge to tackle Gwen, who was still invincible, to the ground.

"Heh" Gwen chuckled. "Wow, that _really_ hurt." Eva began swinging her fists, pounding the blowing medic's face one way and another, doing no damage but to her own heavy fists. "You should teach boxing, Eva. To kindergarteners!" Gwen's taunt increased the rapidity of Eva's swings and focused all of her rage. Cody stopped building and began hitting Eva with his wrench from behind. When she turned she saw the metal swing into her face and her body was thrown away with a critical hit. She was dead. Cody helped Gwen up and her charge wore off. He grinned and then nervously twitched his mouth as a clip of syringes had been buried into his back. DJ ran across the bridge, took out his saw and made a jumping attack on Gwen. She sacrificed her medi-gun and retreated, equipping her saw, and then engaged him in melee combat.

"You're getting good at this" Gwen said.

"Nothing to it but to do it, right?" DJ said. They clashed steel against steel multiple times. Gwen swung her blade down onto DJ's block and extended the poking steel needle at his face. DJ drew back as soon as the blades connected to dodge it and stabbed with his own extended piston jab. Gwen spun to the side and made a wide slash with her momentum. DJ ducked under it and stabbed up. Gwen's slender body dodged the blow and kicked the saw from DJ's hand. It spun in the air and landed in her grip, giving her two serrated swords to position across DJ's neck.

"Ooooo" he whined. Two rockets discharged and flew at Gwen. She caught them just as they hit and blew her to pieces. The saws were thrown into the trench, but not before DJ made the diving catch to grab one from the air. He armed himself with his medi-gun and stood back up. The soldier-medic teams ran across the bridge to him, to meet with him and plan for their assault. Not before, however, they cheered, led by Geoff.

"Who's bad?" he said. He waited for a response but no one was willing to give one. "Hell, yeah! We're bad! Who rocks!?"

"Let's go, Geoff" Bridgette said. "We can cheer when we make the capture, okay?"

"Can we party, too?" he asked hopefully.

"A little" Bridgette said. He nodded and ran with her into the base.

"What about the bridge?" Katie asked.

"Yeah!" Sadie said. "Let's trash it!"

"That'll take too long" DJ said. "We can always just kill Cody when he respawns and keep them further away from getting it done. Right now we need to get into the base and grab the intel."

"Alright" Sadie said with a sigh. "I guess we can just destroy stuff later."

"That's the spirit!" DJ said.

"""

"I'm really looking forward to the opportunity to lead my team for one" DJ said. "Maybe this will prove my leadership skills in war are just as good as my following skills. I can do this!"

"""

* * *

The run was almost perfectly clean. The first obstacle was encountering the soldier Beth and Justin in the ramparts. Geoff and Bridgette went uber and distracted them while Sadie and Katie ran out after them and traded fire. Beth went down quick. Then DJ entered the fray with his syringe gun, pierced Justin's skin to the point of panicked frenzy and left him to be obliterated by the rocket teams. With the obstacle cleared the teams made their rush down the stairs and into the intel room where Leshawna was waiting in defense. She popped out to their intrusion then quickly went back to cover when they retreated.

"What're they doing now?" Leshawna wondered. She opened up her comm-channel and listened in to whoever was alive. "Hello? Anyone out front?"

"I am" Trent said. "Looks like I missed a huge battle, too. Everyone's gone. I'm waiting under cover for movement.

"UUUUUUGGGGHHHH" Izzy groaned. "I'm so bored! I've counted all the tiles in this stupid room twelve times...and got three different results the last three times...Is that bad?"

"Izzy?" Leshawna said. She looked up to the rafters but didn't see her there. "Where are you?"

"Red Base" she said. "Guarding their intel. Waiting for...someone."

"I'm on my way!" Lindsay said. "I'll be there in no time!"

"Please hurry!" Izzy pleaded. "I'm losing my mind!!!" Leshawna disengaged the communication and went back to her sharp-eyed defense. She knew just how dangerous Izzy's mind was to lose to something as seemingly harmless as apathy...

"What's the word?" Gwen asked, alerting Leshawna back from her concern. Rocket blasts shook the room. The soldiers were on the move.

"I'm under attack!" Leshawna called.

"Damn it!" Gwen shouted. "Sending backup. Hold out as long as possible!" Leshawna blindly fired grenades over the top of the desk. The Red soldiers were firing from both corridors and being defended by DJ's syringe gun in the wider room connecting the halls. He stayed alert, diligent, and powerfully attentive to the open doorways where incoming forces would inevitably appear from.

"Keep loose, bro" Geoff said as he reloaded around the corner. He and Bridgette hopped away as grenades bounced from around the corner and off the wall, rolling under their feet. DJ healed Bridgette as she healed Geoff and the whole company was kept at the fullest level of heatlh. "Just stay loose, alert, LOOK OUT!!!" DJ turned around suddenly, stepping in front of Geoff and Bridgette instinctively, and took a throwing dagger to the eye. He clutched his head in pain and reeled back. Heather back-flipped her way into scene and spun in mid-air with a sweeping cut. DJ managed to block with his saw and fought her. Heather jumped away from his sudden attack with her sword swinging in loops before her.

"You think you're up to the challenge?" Heather said. "You really think you can fight me equally?"

"I'm not into fighting" DJ said as he yanked the dagger from his eye without a wince of pain. "But if I can protect my team mates, then I'll take you down!" He rushed in and stabbed. Heather made a tiny hop away and swung her sword up with a loose wrist and tight hand grip. She held her own against the stronger, more determined DJ with her superior swordplay and hard-trained skill.

"Eat a hot pocket!" Geoff shouted as he ducked back out to shoot. Leshawna ducked under the blast and took another one to the side, finally ending her stubborn defense as she was blown to the wall.

"Eat a hot pocket?" Bridgette repeated skeptically.

"Uh" Geoff began, "I was trying to say 'eat hot rocket' but it kinda..."

"Hehehehe!" Bridgette laughed. "That was funny, Geoff." Geoff grinned shyly and ran into the intel room with her.

"""

"I say those kinds of things all the time" Geoff said. "It must be talent. This one time, I called my friends up to get a party started, and I tried to shout 'PARTY TIME' over the phone, so they brought a fat dude in black-and-white make-up to the party. I guess they heard me say 'HEARTY MIME' or something. Man, that dude could drink!"

"""

Geoff opted to pick up the intel. The two groups ran through the angled hallway and came out just as DJ was forced to the floor. They saluted him and silently ran away, leaving it to him to hold Heather off for as long as possible. Heather pressed her blade into his and jabbed her spiked heel into his gut to weaken his guard. His arms went momentarily limp and fell back. Heather's blade swept across his throat and opened it up with a spraying of blood. He was dead. She turned her head and stood up, assessing the best route to intercept her targets. She chose the winding walkway and would meet them before they could exit the ramparts....

Geoff was covered from the sides by Katie. She proceeded up first and was sniped by Trent, prompting the rest of the group to fall back on the stairs and blind-fire. Katie couldn't bother to mourn her friend's sudden death. She aimed her syringe-gun in the approximate arc that would fly to Trent's position. She was closer than she thought and forced Trent to retreat after a few light hits.

"I'm pinned" Trent said. "They've taken cover on the stairs." In a moment between fire exchanges the Reds advanced and took cover in the barn-style shack. Geoff popped out to fire at Trent just as he leaned out to scout the area. "Yeah, I'm pinned. Backup requested."

"Back up here" Heather said. She was right behind him and startled him nearly out of hiding.

"Thanks" he said. Heather nodded and went invisible. She made her way across the ramparts and waited, invisible, for her opportunity.

"We need some help up here" Geoff called on his radio. "Anyone! We're in the Blue ramparts area with the intel but we're pinned down. Trent's got our number and he won't stop calling!"

"And DJ hasn't come back yet" Bridgette added. "Heather must have killed him. Requesting immediate back-up."

"I hear" Harold radioed "and I follow." His transmission cut soon after that. From the shadows between the cracks that separated the negates space of existence, Harold came to the scene. He ran from his battlements across the top of the bridge, made a flying leap onto the Blue battlements, darted into the room, not bothering himself with stealth, and drove his sword through Trent's gut from behind. "The wind has struck" he said. "The night is still young, so to the shadows I shall go."

"I smell you, Harold!" Heather shouted.

"GAH!" Harold exclaimed. "I thought this cologne was supposed to be _mild!_ Curse you, vanity!!!" He shook his fist to the heavens a moment too long and lost it Gwen's saw blade. "Ah, weak" he said. Gwen stabbed him in the head, shooting neuro-toxic drugs into his brain that reduced him to an undying, twitching, babbling pool of flesh and bones.

"""

"It may be cruel" Gwen admitted "to watch him flop around like a fish out of water instead of just killing him, but it's strategically sound. I need to be more concerned with the time limit than the honor of combat."

"""

Gwen got a rocket to the back of her head from Geoff. Both medics had burst out and engaged Heather as soon as they heard her distract their spy. Geoff ran on alone while Bridgette and Katie melee-fought Heather. Katie held her off in front until her blade was broken while Bridgette managed to get behind and give her a derisive blow up the spine. Heather kicked her square in the face and stabbed her into the wall. Then she threw three handfuls of daggers that killed Katie. Gwen healed her from across the ramparts with a nod. Heather nodded back, got a full heal, and went after Geoff.

"Now that's service" Heather said to herself as she ran. Owen respawned with Cody, just in time, and the group went back out to finish their job.

* * *

Geoff ran in a panting panic, looking back over his shoulder as he slid down the stairwell rails into the sewer tunnel. He sprinted through the straightaway and looked back. No one was following him yet. He rounded the corner and peeked around the way he'd just run. Heather was charging at him. He pressed his back to the wall and shuffled along it as quickly as possible, keeping his eyes to the left where Heather had appeared. He continued edging his way until the greenery of the trench was in sight. In the clearing, under the shadow of the bridge, was Tyler who came running for him. Geoff waved to him.

Time slowed down, oddly. Tyler had a look of extreme worry and warning on his face. He was pointing and shouting as he ran forward. Geoff just stared at him with his plastered, party-boy smile stuck on his face. Heather came up like a shadow with her sword wound back over her shoulder, ready to snap her arm across her chest and lop Geoff's head from its supporting shoulders. Geoff caught on, slowly but surely, and turned around mid-step to see Heather swinging the blade already. His eyes bugged and his pupils shrank in terror, but his smile nervously stayed. As he spun back around his arm reached up and gripped the handle of the briefcase on his back. He made one final, powerful, desperate leap to threw the briefcase to Tyler, his ally, who was already in retreat for the long pass incoming.

"Catch dude!" Geoff shouted as the case flew. His head was off before his body hit the ground and Heather was chasing after his final-ditch attempt. Tyler ran backwards as the briefcase spun just below the metal underside of the newly built bridge. He extended his arms to catch it. He backed into its trajected position. He was going to catch it! Then he tripped. He fell from catching the back of his shoe with his foot and tumbled all the way into the rocky mound in front of his team's sewer entrance.

"Ow!" Tyler exclaimed. The briefcase landed right next to him. He grabbed it and was off with Heather just behind him. She gave a flighty chase and equipped her throwing daggers to try and slow him down. Tyler turned her way and pumped a full clip of his short-barrel scattergun rounds her way. She took the minor damage that the bullets lost from the range but still began a retreat just as Tyler reached the stairs. Heather groaned in frustration and stomped her foot.

"I hate those guns!" she shouted. "Grr! Stupid, close-range, super-effective, bullcrap!" Heather cloaked and went after him. Tyler was nearly back to his intel room now. He had climbed the stairs in the ramparts and approached the straight staircase when he was stopped.

"Yo!" Duncan shouted. He jumped from the rampart spawn room and rushed across the court to join Tyler before he made his break for the goal line. "I'm your guard." Tyler drew his pistol and unloaded a clip into Duncan's face. It was ineffective. Tyler smirked, twirled his pistol and sheathed it. "Nice reaction" Duncan said, raising one side of his brow. Tyler nodded and turned, running straight into the wall without looking.

"Damn it" he groaned. Duncan shook his head slowly in pity.

"""

"I think it's my shoes" Tyler said "that's making me slip up everywhere. I'm a sporty guy, you know? And my shoes come from my parent's company, so I know they're good. They're made in top-tier workshops over in some country called 'North Korea'. Heh. I heard they're like, twice as good as South Korea!"

"""

Tyler jogged down the steps, keeping Duncan in pace behind. Duncan kept his guard up for whatever eventuality he would have to encounter. They turned the corner into the main hall and saw Lindsay light-speed sprinting her way through the coiling, winding walkway exit. Duncan fired, chasing her with his sight, just barely missing her as she outran each explosion. Tyler waved his hand for Duncan to follow her. She went right. Tyler went left into the other hallway.

The intel was picked up and Lindsay made her retreat, heading Tyler's way. She decelerated and stood opposite him, her eyes glaring. He glared back. They dropped their respective scatterguns and entered a western-style draw-off. Lindsay wrung her hands near her thigh pistol sheathe and Tyler gripped his hand into a tight fist right next to his waist-high pocket. It was a stand-off. A tumbleweed rolled by....somehow, and an old, dusty wind blew.

Izzy was asleep and kicking, as if she were dreaming some simple dream of chasing someone down with an ax swinging in her hands.

The glint in their eyes signaled the battle! Tyler drew before Lindsay but she took her pistol in both hands to steady her grip. Tyler's bullets clipped randomly and fired rapidly. Lindsay's bullets hit a critical head-shot each time, but they were slow. Eventually Tyler got a full clip out and tossed his pistol in desperation. Lindsay killed him as the gun was in mid-air. It cracked against her head and depleted the final increment of her health. Duncan came upon the scene after hearing all the gun fire and picked up the intel for himself. He saluted Tyler with two pounds on his chest and a click of his heels.

"Point-for-point, bitches!" Duncan shouted as he ran for the desk. Izzy awoke. Her eyes went white then cracked and expanded with a bloody red webbing of veins. Duncan planted the point just as Izzy's hand smashed into the metal of the desk and up she rose, her head swinging limp, a mad grin on her face and blood streaming from her eyes. Duncan's mouth shook open in fear. 5-5 tie.

"""

"I've got nothing" Izzy said calmly in her embarrassing expose confessional. "What you see is what you get with Izzy! I've already said that I escaped from the RCMP, multiple times, I'm a wanted fugitive, I have a genius IQ, my family has a bunch of manic-depressives and other freaks, sorry cousin Gerry, uh, let's see, red _isn't_ my natural hair-color, I found out I was allergic to sauerkraut at a junior-high dance, _violently_ allergic, uh.....gg....huh...uuuu, rrrr, Grrrr **AAAAAHHHH!!!!**"

Static interruption. The camera fed a snowy screen and loud crackling noise for a moment, then resumed with Izzy leaning forward with her hands gripping the chair arms tight, clawing off the thin paint. It was Izzy no longer. The physical changes in her face made her the mad, manic Xi, who breathed quiet and controlled breaths.

"The Izzy you all know" she began "is little more than a naïve liar. She's been hiding away long-concealed memories for her own protection, but I don't give a ****. You see, she's not just a deserter of the RCMP. She's also a **murderer.** There she was, patrolling a dam one night, a cadet under the tutelage of some veteran officers, when a radical group showed up to vandalize the side of the dam with repel cords and paint cans. The police tried to stop them with words, but the vandals were armed. Poorly. After a short exchange of fire the RCMP seemed to win, and Izzy was to haul them up by their cords. But something slipped. As one of them neared the top of the climb Izzy grabbed the rope to pull him in and it snapped. She grabbed back on, seeing the man was hanging over a hundred plus foot drop to the bottom of a deadly, rocky fall, and struggled to pull him up. Her superiors tried to help, but as soon as she was touched she let go and the man fell....she was charged with murder on the spot, shot out the knees of the police who tried to arrest her and ran away...So. Now you know. Izzy isn't just a run-of-the-mill maniac. **She's a legit killer. That's why I'm here...!**"

"""

* * *

99 percent. The magic moment drew near. Cody was but a few seconds away from cinching the victory for the Blues as the bridge was coated primarily in Blue coloring. Zeke continued to work with sheer determination and speed, both engineers being guarded by their strong heavies and backed by their stronger still medics. It was a stand-off, but an unequal one.

"Almost got it" Zeke said as he neared a pivotal point. "I've almost got it! We just need Cody dead and I'll get it! Shoot out his bridge! If he has to rebuild we'll have the upper hand!"

"Enough!" Eva shouted. She turned her head while keeping her aim centered and glared him down. "You did you best, soldier, and that's what's important. We've played with handicaps before and we still won. Now put your wrench to better use and build us a turret!" Zeke was stunned. He nearly dropped his wrench. Under Eva's orders, Zeke laid down the plots for a turret and quickly built one behind the burly girl. With his dispenser backing him and depleting its ammo just as rapidly as Eva expended it, Zeke worked his hardest to upgrade the turret before the bridge was fully built.

"_Bridge victory: Blue"_ the computerized announcement blared. _"Grenade spawn in Blue spawn rooms, objective cleared."_ Gwen and Cody cheered behind their living wall. Owen shouted his own cheer as well, a hearty howling that went over the blazing sound of his gatling gun. Still, in spite of their cheering, Eva still smiled. She nodded her head with a jerk. DJ activated their ubercharge and ran after Eva. She tossed her gatling gun aside and ran forward across the complete, all-blue metal bridge with heavy metallic stomps. She took a final, leaping step and wound her fist back far. She stomped right in front of Owen and delivered a tremendous, life-ending punch to his face, just a split second before Gwen could activate her uber-charge. Owen's body left the field. His killing label was a body out in space. A wind blasted outward from where his body had left the ground and blew Gwen away in a dusty roll. Eva was unaffected, moved through the dust, picked up Cody and tossed him clear over the bridge. He landed next to Zeke's beeping turret and was spotted, gunned down on the ground as Zeke watched with his hood up, hands in his hoodie pocket, and a stoic flatness on his face.

"""

"That was cool, eh?" Zeke said.

"""

"You never really know pain" Cody said "until a gorilla-armed weightlifter picks you up and throws you into a robotic, motion-detection sighted gatling-gun's line of fire."

"""

Eva continued her victory march by approaching the invincible Gwen who fired her medi-gun blindly upwards.

"No one to save you now!" Eva said. She pounded her fist into her palm. Her uber-charge wore off. A sniper shot suddenly sounded. Eva was fine but she felt something hit her back. It was DJ's brains. Trent stood behind his fallen body with his sniper rifle held in one arm heroically, the barrel still smoking. Eva stomped around and charged at him. He rolled out of her way and let her nearly hit the wall, like a raging bull, as he reloaded his gun. Gwen gave him a half-second of uber-charge just as Eva charged into him. It had no effect. Trent aimed straight up at her, through the scope, and sniped her brains out.

"Booyah!" Trent exclaimed. He rolled backwards as her heavy body fell and sheathed his rifle on his back. "Thanks, Gwen" he said, turning to his faithful, powerful ally.

"Nice backup" she said. "You really saved my ass."

"Gwen" Trent began, "you know I'd do anything for your ass." She grinned, stifling her laughter, then burst out in hearty chuckles when Trent realized what he said. "Ah, what was that? I sounded like Harold!"

"At least you tried" she said, tilting her head to him. He smiled down at her. In the battlefield, even flowers can bloom, and the romance that carries itself from soldier to distant lover is never lost. Even so, these two lovers encountered each other on the battlefield and, without hesitance, expressed their love with a deep, meaningful kiss.

"""

"It's not just about me anymore" Gwen said in sudden realization. "I wanted it to be about me, but now, it's about us. I know Trent feels the same way. I just...know now. I feel so confidant that we have an unbreakable bond now. I feel...so happy!"

"""

"Gwen is the most amazing girl I've ever met" Trent said. "I've met plenty of girls, including all the girls I know and fight against here. But still, despite all the comparisons, Gwen is the best. To me, she's the best reason I have to compete, because I don't want to do this for myself anymore. I want to do it for her, and for me...for _us..._ Fighting a war for 'us'. That....sounds like a good song."

"""

The romance ended, their lips parted, and the winds began to pick up. A dusty veil rose up from the ground. The grass in the trench instantly died, turned to hard dust, and spun in wicked twisters with a whipping wind building them upward. Before their eyes were shut to the powerful winds, Trent's head was blown apart and his body fell limp before Gwen. She glared across the way, still holding his body by the shoulders, and saw the retreating form of Courtney as she grinned and cocked her gun. Gwen pushed Trent's body away, equipped her own grin of malice, and slid up her contagion mask.

"_Good news, soldiers!"_ Chris announced. A synchronized 'oh no' look of shock came to everyone's faces, everyone but Gwen who was busy rushing, already knowing what he was about to say. _"It's a **Dust storm!!!**"_

"DAMN IT!!!" Courtney shouted.

"AHHH!!!" Duncan called over the radio.

"Don't be so dramatic, Duncan" Courtney said. "It sucks, granted but-"

"Berserk Izzy in the intel room!!" He called. His entire team shrank up with fear. "Help! Back up! No! Stay away! Cancel! Don't come-" The communication was severed. Moments later, as Courtney moved into the safety of her base ramparts spawn room, she heard a hollow, terrible howling coming from under ground, from inside her own spawn room. She gulped and focused her sight on the dreadful, winding walkway path.

"......Oh" she gasped with a shaky release of breath. "...Oh ****."

"""

"The cencors be damned!" Chris exclaimed. "There's a lot more cussing in this season than ever before. I just wish we could show it all as it is...."

"""

* * *

Xi stood, her arms draping down, her back hunched over, her legs locked together and a wicked, fanged smile on her face, all dripping in Duncan's shed blood. Her ax was bloodied and vile, chunks of flesh still clinging to the serrated teeth of her wicked arm. She breathed hot steam. Her eyes were black with yellow irises to mark her descent into powerful madness. She started walking, shakily, across the room and fell to her hands with a slow arching of her back. She undulated from her feet up to her head and whipped up her mouth with a wide-open berserk cry.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"**

"Alright, Xi" Harold said. She shook her head of its foaming slobber and turned around. Harold stood there with his sword armed and his stance poised and elegant against the manic, insane pyro. "It's you against me now. I won't let you get away from here alive!" Something humane ran through her head in its animal state and her abilities suddenly increased. Her vision was filled with stars for just a split second. She gripped her fingers into the cracks between the tiles in the floor and pulled her body to face the opposite direction. Her other hand worked to her hip, equipped the Uzi and fired a stream of bullets that Harold retreated from. She started a hopping, dragging retreat down the hall.

"Darn you!" Harold exclaimed. "I said you wouldn't leave alive! Come back here!" Harold ran after her with his sword armed up next to his head. Izzy was running on all fours with her ax in her mouth and her Uzi flying behind her head, tied around her neck with a strap. She ran up the straight stairs and encountered Courtney who stood in a strong, whipping wind with her wide-brimmed hat moving and her dress billowing. She aimed carefully down her sights and let go of her rifle. She kicked it down the stairs at Izzy, who caught it when her hands went down to grab the next step and tripped onto her chin. Her mouth was braced with her ax handle but the sudden stop was still so jarring that she couldn't get up in time and was hail-fired from above by Courtney's automatic. Just as she pulled herself up through the bullet stream and got a tight grip on Courtney's ankle she was dead and covered in blood and holes. Harold appeared a moment later and snapped his fingers.

"I can't get a break today, can I?" he asked. Courtney just shook her head with a good-humored smile on her face.

"""

"Harold hasn't realized it yet" Courtney said. "You have to fight fire with fire. When the Blue's strategy is burning us down, we set of a hotter fire of all-out offense to douse them out. In the case of Izzy, doing something completely unexpected goes right in her train of thought, which she doesn't consider when she's berserk. If you can confuse yourself with logic, you can fight Izzy one-on-one in berserk mode."

"""

"Get back on the offense" Courtney said. "You can see about a meter or two in front of you in the dust and you're forced to move slower against the winds. Other than that, it doesn't do anything to weapons or health, so be careful."

"Yes, ma'am" Harold said. "Back into the world of shadows I go...." Harold disappeared into the dusty storm, walking tall and hard until he fell off the steep drop and down the short flight of stairs. "Gah!" he shouted in exasperation. Courtney giggled and crouched, walking low and quick, testing her ground before vaulting carefully down the sheer drops and then went straight inside to take the longer route up to the battlements. She, in her resourcefulness, had set up a rope ladder in the short hallway within her base where an opening led up to one of the respawn rooms. It was both a quick retreat and, with only a nailed-in set of climbing steps for an ascent to the ramparts room as a substitute, a more tactical cover choice.

The Red base order was restored, and none too soon. From the sewers, just as Courtney pulled herself up into the second floor, Beth, Justin and Heather ran into the Red base. She turned and issued silent commands to her followers. They nodded and parted. Beth took the lead. She took a short right turn, moved herself in position with the square hole opening above her, and rocket-jumped up into it with expert skill. Though she was damaged, it was minimal, and she pumped her arm in victory. Justin followed, landed elegantly on his feet and posed with a flip of his hair upon regaining his balance.

"Nice" Beth said. "Now come on! Let's go while the getting's good!"

"Of course" Justin said with a noted drop in enthusiasm.

"""

"If no one thinks I'm pretty anymore" Justin said with a sigh, "then what's the point of going on? Honestly......I can't think of any good side to this!"

"""

They ran straight for the coiling walkway that led down. A transmission crackled across their earpieces.

"Quick update" Gwen reported. "Apparently, only one person gets grenades at a time, so make sure you plan that out."

"Who has it now?" Beth asked.

"Don't worry, guys" Owen said. "I'll put these babies to good use."

"I'm sure you will Owen" Justin said. "Just remember: if it ticks, don't eat it; if it has a lit fuse, don't eat it; if you smell sulfur-"

"I know, I know" Owen said. "I'm not that dumb. These look like cute little baked potatoes all wrapped up in tinfoil with...a weird symbol on them."

"They're **Mini-Nukes**" Gwen said. "Don't eat those either." She slapped Owen's hand as he reached to do just that and Beth laughed.

"Defense is up in the intel room" Cody reported. His report was followed very quickly by explosions and gun fire. "Yow! None too soon! We've got a rush down here! Tyler, Eva and DJ somehow got in here!"

"That can't be right!" Gwen exclaimed. "Hang on. We're coming. Hold your ground!" Too late. Cody was killed and the intel was grabbed. "Nevermind, then. Alright, grab the intel and make your way back over the bridge. If you can't see through the dust, assume whoever you can see is an enemy and shoot on sight! As far as I know, friendly fire is still off!"

"Roger!" Beth exclaimed.

"Count on us!" Justin said.

"Me too!" Lindsay said. "I made my way all the way to the sewers! I'll be up to reconsider with you guys in just a sec!"

"You mean 'reconnoiter' possibly?" Cody said.

"Yeah!" Lindsay chirped. "Thanks, Carrie!"

"""

"That's a girl's name...." Cody said in dejection. "That's....not even the right _gender_, Lindsay. I don't sound feminine, do I? My choir director always thought I was somewhere on the border between alto and soprano, not full-out soprano, or falsetto, and-"

"""

* * *

Cut short on time restraints, the daring battle continues to dare the fierce combatants and warriors in all sorts of new, powerful ways. The dust storm, the full, indestructible bridge, the new strength in the Blue's respawn rooms; all excellent twists, but how does Noah fare? His his hand still mixing miracles from off scene? Will he get back in time to rejoin his team and make a real difference or will he be forced out of the competition entirely before too long? Return next week and witness the continuing epic duel between Red and Blue, a battle that defies conventional description, here on

_Total  
Drama  
Team Fortress!!!_


	63. 2Fort 13

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

A cold tower of mono-patterned graphics rose up out of the sea of programming. Within, a patrol of instant-death walked the rooms, searched all the corners, and scanned the walls for a trace of its prey. That prey had taken to the shadows, to the darkness that hid him so well, and dodged detection at every turn. With camouflage to match the pixalated, saturated walls and tilesets around him, Noah crept around as a spy with the tools of a hacker. He kept a mental recording of his movements, recorded into his gun which he dared never fire to alert his enemy, and forced himself onward to the far, distant battlefield he was destined for.

_This recording was taken on the thirteenth floor of the Shadow Ark Tower. I decided to call it that because my name is Noah....that's all I'll say for now. I'm savvy enough to understand it, somebody else out there should be as well. The style of this room seems to be matching the primary testing stages of my much missed Team Fortress pixel-set more and more. It is rough, dirty and post-industrial, but the pulp-fictitious atmosphere still isn't here. I'm not seeing that regaled, refined style of cel-shaded comic-book art that plays so well in the game I've been taken from. Still, I carry on. Now, unfortunately, my hiding is obvious. I am in a mine cart, in the fetal position to minimize my presence, and Chef had just entered the floor of props._

Chef sniffed around like a hungry dog and slowly walked forward, his gun kept up and set to kill. The room was a storage, yet again, for unused programmed props in the game's code. The virtual reality bill for testing, programming and development did not tolerate waste, and thus all outdated graphics and unusable pieces of crap were stored in the giant tower for use by whatever programmer decided to come by and customize their own addition to the maps. This room had the storage for a pre-generation of unfitting, realistic objects that were either too small or too big to be useful. The mine carts were too big and took up too much space. They were also boxed with invisible walls that prevented anyone from jumping onto or over them and cluttered up too much memory in any given map to be useful.

Rail lengths and curves were on the floor around them, which also had uneven bumps that acted as actual elevation raises. That deemed them inefficient to the slower class that demand precise movement, like the Sniper, and the bugging that came over them crippled the game engine. The sheer-cliff tiles with jutting rocks were spread on the farthest wall from the entrance and gave a rich and earthen vibe to the room, but their failure was still evident. They were flat in terms of walling but varied in their slope or unevenness. One glitch extended an invisible panel of a whole extra space for a few pixels of extra color to smooth out the colors of terrain from a distance.

Chef walked into a cactus, an unused object for a much more expansive and open map which was ultimately scrapped early for being anti-tactical. The spiny sensation jarred him and he shot the cactus. Nothing happened but a tremendous, room shaking, smoke-screening explosion. Noah rolled from out of his mine cart and moved into the smoke just as Chef moved out with his arms batting away the foggy gray.

"I thought I saw him" Chef said. "Damn cannon! I need to reduce the smoke on this thing...." Noah hid once more. His entry followed.

_By some stroke of luck I have found that Chef's super-powerful cannon cannot effect the solid structured scenery. The invisible walls are too blocky, solid and strong. I have found, through the smoke his blast created on a faulty, vain impact, another hiding place. He's sure to overlook it. If not, I can't escape. I have to move silently to fool this aged military-grade hunter..._

The smoke cleared. Chef looked around yet again at the side of the room that was hidden before. The cactus was there. Lined on the wall with it were dusty lockers and wooden cabinets, proto-typical lockers to keep in with a cartoonish feel for the old-west style maps. Chef continued searching and scanning the room, looking for even a feint sign of presence to register a realistic threat.

There was a cardboard box. But that was different. Chef shrugged and moved to the stairs for the next floor up. Time slowly passed. Then the box picked up and moved with Noah under it.

_The humor in this will reach someone. I congratulate them with as sardonic a manner as can be communicated to them over a short message like this. Now I'm at the base of the stairs and am waiting for Chef's feet to stop shaking the staircase. To do so I place myself next to the flight and listend to the box shake. All's quiet. Now or never..._

Chef aimed down the stairs that he had only half-scaled with a furious grit of his teeth and scowl. He was trapping Noah effortlessly with his forward thinking. He knew Noah was behind, not ahead. The pangs in his warrior heart told him so. He could sense his enemy no matter where they were, intuitively, effortlessly, like a real soldier in the field. A box moved in front of the stairs. With his gun at full, scenery-breaking power, Chef blasted the box into a giant cloud of dust which filled the room and crowded at Noah's feet. He, Noah that is, was not responsible for moving the box along. He has set a counter-trap for Chef on the off chance that Chef was still watching the stairs and it worked. He was hiding under the staircase which was now shaking violently with Chef's running stomps, and bide his time as the smoke billowed up.

The box was gone, that was for certain, and Chef glanced around the room, trying hard to peer through the thick, gray smoke. Noah ran to the stairs and silently ascended them while his back was turned. Just as Chef turned his attention back to the stairs with a tilt of his head, Noah was gone, into the next room up, searching for a place to hide. He saw a door on the wall and went, on a whim, to open it. And it opened.

_It appears I've found the exit to this debugging limbo. This hallway is disjointed from the tower itself and seems to lead down a white-tiled hall. The room I'm in has more of a moon-base theme, possibly for some poor rendition of a Golden Eye level, or something. It's a long hallway but it's sterile and hollow and I can hear the far-distant random sounds of battle raging far beyond. Chef's going to be back to scan this room in a second. While I still have a lead, I'm going to take my chance and reenter the game while I can. I just hope my hax-gun stays with me, if nothing else, to add a little viewability to this show through my transmissions..._

Noah entered the door and closed it behind him. Chef stormed up to the floor and sniffed around, searching frantically for Noah, ignoring the door on the wall as plain scenery. He threw over many items that bounced in an artificial lack of gravity and growled to himself. "I will find you" he said. "Oh yes, you will be found." He cocked his gun and switched its mode to shotgun, wide spread, thousand-slug pellet mode. Just to test it he fired it and the blast broke both his virtual eardrums as well as the audio card attempting to record the room's goings on. He mouthed what seemed to be "And you will....die!"

* * *

Beth and Justin, deep into the belly of the beast, ran together into the intel room and encountered heavy gun fire from a level two turret built just around the blind corner, watching over the room. Beth sustained most of the damage, though Justin did get a bleeding scratch on his arm from where a bullet scraped by his skin. He was eying it down in a panic.

"Oh, god, no!" he exclaimed. "I need a bandage! And some medicine to prevent scarring!"

"Will you shut up and go to the other side?" Beth said. "We can do this if one of us distracts the turret and draws its fire wile the other hits it, now hurry! Before he finishes it!"

"Oh man!" Zeke moaned. "Come on, stupid metal-making robot! Make metal faster, eh!" His dispenser clanked with the spawning charge of scrap metals which he got and used immediately to built up his turret, just a small amount off from being level three at last. He sighed and relaxed against his dispenser. Then a rocket exploded on his dispenser. It beeped and moved to the hallway where Justin had just ducked away. Beth popped out a second later and blew the turret up. "NO!" Zeke shouted.

"Charge!" Beth ordered. She shot a rocket at Zeke as soon as she entered the room. Zeke retreated from it and shot his shotgun at her, injuring her further. Justin came in with his shotgun and killed Zeke before he could retreat far enough into the wall. Now the room was empty and the soldiers saluted each other with high fives.

"I'll take the intel" Justin said. "You're already hurt, so stay behind me, kay?"

"Got it" Beth said. Justin took the intel and made a run for the hallway. From around the corner, appearing so suddenly that it failed to register it time, Eva showed up and blasted Justin away with her double-barrel shotgun.

"""

"I don't believe in magic" Justin admitted "but I do believe in people appearing from thin air. In Eva's case, however, I believe in people appearing out of thick air."

"""

Beth took the intel while Eva reloaded and ran in the opposite direction. She saw DJ coming from the other hallway, in a pincer maneuver, and flinched as he ran into her, cutting her in two with the swing of his saw blade. The intel was dropped and, for the time, safe. He gave Eva a thumb up and switched his weapon to heal her.

"Hey Courtney" Eva hailed, "what's the best way to the Blue base in this weather?"

"Right now?" Courtney said. "I'm willing to be the sewers might be the way to go. If you want to try for the bridge, then more power to you, just remember that you can easily get lost even if you're close by each other."

"Whatever" Eva said after she disconnected. "Let's head for the sewers, then."

"I'm right behind you" DJ said. He and Eva ran for the rampart spawn room and prepared for their charge. On their way up they received a frantic piece of audio feed cluttered with bullets hitting metal and whizzing past the ear of the hailer.

"Change of plans, you two" Courtney said. "I don't know how, but Owen and Gwen and Trent are owning the bridge! They must have some kind of thermal-vision through the sand like I do. That's the only way I can explain what they're doing right now! I need you to take back that bridge!"

"Alone!?" Eva exclaimed.

"Harold's already on it" she said. "He's going to nullifiy their sniper and kill the other two from behind but he needs a proper distraction. After that we can reverse the situation and take the bridge that they built for our team!"

"Alright" Eva said. "We'll drop down to the ground floor from the rampart room and go through the sand to the bridge."

"Don't stop firing" Courtney said "if you're sure that you're hitting someone!"

"This is Duncan" Duncan called over the general channel. "I'm in their base. The trench is total hell to go through. Advise against as a last resort. Take the bridge if you need to get over."

"On it" Eva said. She disconnected again. They reached the top floor together and then dropped down to the ground floor. Eva and DJ could hear the battle outside through the howling winds of the sandstorm. Gatling gun whirring and sniper-round blasts were no uncommon things anymore. Eva grinned and walked for the exit of her safe base, into the fray of pushing, blowing winds. She braced her face with her arm and revved her gun with her powerful, tight-gripping hand. DJ stayed close behind her and constantly healed her.

"Gah!" DJ squealed. "It's too strong! I feel like I'm gonna get blown over!"

"Don't" Eva ordered. That was the simplest way she used to restore his confidence. Her feet hit metal suddenly. "I think I'm on the bridge!" she said. DJ looked up and saw the sand blowing past a sold wall, a ceiling overhead.

"You're right!" DJ said. "But where's Owen?"

Deep in the bowels of the Blue base, in the intel room where Cody had set up his shop once again to defend with Leshawna as his backup to secure the perimeter, Cody pulled out his building box. HE scrolled through his limited possibilities, past the dispenser and teleporters, and found a selection that simply read 'bridge'. He selected it and his device began beeping. The screen opened up and a little radar dish began rotating around, sending signals up through the ground to the mechanics of the bridge he built. The sides whirred and loudly clanked together. A mechanical transformation was underway around Eva and DJ. The bridge became covered and sided with thick metal and the roof was braced with extra shielding. Total coverage from above, and all sides from attack and the weather.

Owen and Gwen and Trent were all waiting at the opposite entrance of the bridge which had just been braced against the storm outside. Trent took a knee behind Owen, just enough to the side to aim up at Eva's forehead. She furrowed her brow in incredible anger and, somehow, managed to survive as the bullet fractured but didn't penetrate her skull. Her angry, furrowed brow gave her a second-skin type of armor!

"""

"Didn't see that coming" Trent said. "Getting so angry that your eye brows become as hard as steel? So hard that a sniper round at near-range can't pierce through them? Man, that's either impressive muscle control or serious anger-related issues. With Eva? Maybe her anger has given her some kind of superhuman strength....brow."

"""

The slaughter continued regardless. Once Owen opened fire Eva died and DJ was gunned down soon after that. The bridge was covered with an impenetrable shielding which Courtney's Red-team bullets had no effect on. Courtney scoffed and retreated into her base.

"Harold!" she called. "Where are you!?"

"Right behind them" Harold said. He broke through the storm as a shadow and killed Trent in an instant. Gwen heard the slash and turned around, just to see Harold leap onto Owen's back, kick him to the floor and kill him as well. Then he vanished and retreated amid the panicked hail-fire of syringes from Gwen. She growled.

"I need some backup on the bridge" she said. "Harold killed the rest of my team!"

"I'm on my way!" Izzy called. "Warm up your medi-gun, girlfriend!"

"I'll meet you at the ground-level entrance, Izzy" Gwen said. "We're taking the lead back."

"ALRIGHT!!!" Izzy cheered. "Hey, what about Owen's grenades?" Gwen looked down. The grenade belt around Owen had disappeared and his bonus power had despawned.

"They're gone" Gwen said. "Why don't you pick some more up, Izzy?"

"Okay!" Izzy exclaimed. Gwen clapped her hands together with a scheming grin. Izzy with grenades? There is no hope left....

* * *

Duncan's back up finally arrived. His force was four strong going against whatever wall the Blues managed to erect in the time between attacks. Tyler, to run the intel back, Geoff and Bridgette for full assault force and Duncan, the super-powerful MVP Demoman ran into the base ready to encounter any resisting forces. They reached the whirlwind sandscreen of the ramparts area and stayed together as they pushed through it.

"Hold up!" Duncan shouted. "Stick to the walls! Find the stairs and just keep close to the walls! If you get lost here you'll fall behind!"

"Got it!" Tyler shouted. Duncan edged himself along the wall, looking to his right to make sure he was being followed with appropriate proximity. He felt his way along the wall to the stairs, which hit him in the head, and he climbed his way up, hurrying his team to do the same. They found the straight stairs to the intel room and proceed with Tyler in the back, Duncan in the middle and Geoff in front. Bridgette healed him from behind Duncan, using his extra health as a buffer in case of a sudden attack.

"Cody's bound to be in there" Bridgette said. "We need to come up with a good plan."

"Pop and rocket" Geoff said.

"What!?" Duncan said, angered by the catchy sound of Geoff's strategy. "What the hell is 'pop and rocket'?"

"Like 'Pop-n-Lock'" Geoff explained "but with rockets! We take a corner, pop out and draw the turret, shoot a rocket and then pop back before we get hit. Then the next person does the same thing and keeps the turret distracted without firing so it just goes back and forth while it gets destroyed! It's a perfect strategy! Two-point attack!"

"Alright" Duncan said "but we need to call it something not-gay."

"Aw, come on!" Geoff said. "Up until now we had to explain what it was before doing it. It's a simply, easy name!"

"I like it!" Sadie called from over the radio.

"Pop-n-Rocket!" Katie chanted. Duncan growled.

"""

"If Courtney were there" Duncan said "there wouldn't be an argument. There wouldn't even be opinions. She's shoot them down, with bullets hopefully, and come up with a real name. One that isn't so...damn stupid!"

"""

"It's called 'Pop-n-Rocket', Duncan" Courtney radioed, stunning him silent. "We need an ease of transition between tactics and that's what everyone remembers."

"Owned!" Tyler exclaimed. Duncan just lowed and ran apart from his team. Geoff and Bridgette went left. He went right. Tyler stayed some steps behind him, in a crouch to better his aim, and drew his pistol to help. As soon as Duncan saw the desk, seemingly unguarded but by the hidden glow of sticky mines, he was under attack. Leshawna's grenades bounced around the corner and rolled to him. He retreated and fired back, sending his more powerful, more bouncy grenades around the corner. Leshawna and Cody and his turret were hidden in the corner opposite the desk in the room, and in Geoff's rushed tactic he only saw that the desk was clear and made a rush for it.

"Geoff, stop!" Bridgette called. He wandered straight into a gatling-gun and rocket-pod line of fire and was dispensed quickly. "Geoff!" Bridgette shouted. "Geoff's dead!"

"Kay" Duncan said, apathetic. "You wanna do something useful, like update me on real information instead of obvious stupidity?"

"Are you doing anything useful!?" Bridgette demanded. Cody rounded the corner and began shooting her with his shotgun at nearly point-blank range. She tried to run but the critical blows he fired shot her down before she escaped the hallway. Cody smiled and reloaded his gun. He went back into the room, hopped over a grenade and flew into the wall as it exploded behind him. He recovered quickly and switched to his wrench to keep his machines up and beeping.

"How're we doing?" Leshawna asked.

"Good" Cody said. "Keep Duncan on his toes and out of our hair."

"What about Tyler?" Leshawna asked. "I hear him running around."

"How're you sure?" Cody asked.

"Darn it!" Tyler shouted from the opposite hallway. He had circled around to aid Duncan's fight where Geoff and Bridgette had failed but he ran to fast, tripped over his own feet and slammed into the wall.

"""

"The floor was too slippery" Tyler defended. "Our halls, you know, they're nice and worn in. They're not too waxed or slippy or wet all the time because we aren't pansies who're afraid of tracking a little dirt here and there. The Blue team is a bunch of pansies because they clean their floors! Our floors are dirty! We're hardcore soldiers, man! HARDCORE-Ah, dammit! My shoe's scuffed!" He took off his shoe and poured dirt and sand out onto the floor. "Man! I need to shake these things out when I get a free second!"

"""

Tyler pressed against the wall and pulled out his scattergun. He spun out, alerting the turret, blasted twice and fled just as the bullets and rockets screamed his way. He expertly avoided damage and managed to deal some moderate damage to Cody as well. Duncan took the opportunity to set up a new attack.

"Who wants to play pool?" Duncan asked. He shot a high-power, high-weight grenade at his feet. It bounced up and past the entrance to the room, slowing at the apex of its bouncing arc. Duncan took careful, instant aim and shot a grenade at the grenade. They bounced apart, the grenade he shot deflecting straight into Cody's face over his turret and the grenade he hit bounced across the room, into the desk, and blew Leshawna's sticky grenades randomly around the room.

"Nuh-uh!" Leshawna exclaimed. "That didn't just happen!" Duncan fired a short stream of more grenades off the wall and in her general direction. They spun from their first impact and then bounced and rolled under the turret, blowing it and Cody into the ceiling. Leshawna was barely alive. Tyler charged through the smoke and blasted her point-blank, a critical hit and an instant kill. The defense was shattered and the Red team was cleared to begin their next capturing run.

"Alright" Duncan said as he reloaded his gun and set it to a new firing mode. "You wanna grab the intel or should I?"

"Me.....right?" Tyler asked, not considering Duncan a serious choice.

"I've got a plan, man" Duncan said. "It's going to take a lot of ammo and I can't stop until it's all done, so I'm going to have to stay behind for a little bit to set it up."

"You sure you don't need some help?" Tyler asked.

"Nah" Duncan said with a final load. "I've got it. You just get back to base and spread some good news, okay?" Tyler nodded. Duncan grinned. A devilish plan was elaborated in that instant and out into the sandstorm Tyler rushed once more, blazing a trail for his base while Duncan set up his trap behind....

* * *

Tyler pushed through the dust storm as fast as he could and made his way back into his base, through the ground floor as was the best idea at the time. He ran through his base, climbed up the ladder in the dusty, blowing ramparts, surfaced out of the blinding blanket of sand and was killed instantly by a blast of compressed heat from the nozzle of Izzy's powerful cannon.

"What was that!?" Sadie exclaimed from the other side of the rampart spawn room. Izzy sneered towards the metal door and lowered her hockey mask. Katie was in the room, alone, trapped between her vacant locker room and a certain, burning, painful death. She bit her nails and moved close to the door, sending it up automatically to meet Izzy's hidden face and flickering flamethrower. She backed away just as she was set on fire, opened the healing locker and closed it, fine again but still cornered and worried. "You won't get away with this!" she exclaimed. "You'll be sorry when someone else spawns in here! Just you wait!"

"Sure" Gwen said. "We'll be waiting for that to happen."

"Uh, chief?" Izzy said, pointing down to Tyler's shadow of a corpse in the dust. Gwen leaned over and looked with her. "Where's the intel?" Gwen scoffed and stood up.

"He was just a distraction" Gwen realized. "Duncan must have the intel after all!"

"Roger" Trent said. "He's got me pinned right now, but I can confirm that he has the intel."

"Where are you, Trent?" Gwen asked.

"He lined the outside of the spawn room with mines" Trent said. "If I take a step outside I'll blow up. He's been laying them around the base the whole time!"

"Must be setting up a trap" Gwen said. "Don't worry, he won't get too far with it. Izzy and I will camp out his intel room and stop him from making a capture."

"We will?" Izzy asked with a follow-up aggravated groaning. "But camping is boring! BOOOORIIIIING!!!! And last time I did it I went insane!"

"Actually" Gwen said "that's a pro to us in some respect."

"Really?" Izzy said.

"Your berserk mode is a lot more powerful" Gwen said. "You can kill almost instantly when you corner someone. Besides, the whole Red team is scared stiff of you when it happens. If you attack me I'll consider it a kind of involuntary game-mechanic spasm or something and move on with it."

"You're a good friend" Izzy said "giving me the okay to kill you when I can't help it. Alright! Let's camp!" They ran through the winding, spiral corridor to the intel room far down below. Zeke was already preparing a new defense in the intel room, according to the design that Duncan had just destroyed in the Blue base. Izzy fired blind around the corner with a long stream of fire and slowly roasted Zeke and his turret until they were crisp and crusty. She and Gwen entered the room with a haughty walk, a strut of confidence. Izzy walked up to the intel and ran her hand over it, the madness of her objective beginning, her unseen meter slowly filling up.

"Calm down, Izzy" Gwen said. Izzy shook herself from the trance and moved to the corner away from the desk. She checked her ammo and her squishy, orangey grenades, preparing herself for the eventual ambush that she would spring. They waited for quite a while, hearing nothing outside the halls and seeing nothing to indicate a stealthy attack. Izzy sprayed the room and the rafters once over just to make sure Harold wasn't crouched and lying in wait nearby.

"It's quiet" Izzy said. "No too quiet, but just quiet enough....to be awkward. I'm bored." She fell back and slouched with a sigh just as Gwen's high-alerted ears picked up some soft footfalls. She nudged Izzy and woke her up from a creeping stupor in time to catch a figure all in black entering the room.

"Fire!" Gwen ordered.

"That's what I do!" Izzy said. She sprayed a heavy, dense blast of fire on the intruder, but after the glaring glow of orange and white-hot flare disappeared the figure was untouched, as it was not the slender and weak form of Harold but the slender and sexy form of Heather in her skintight black spy suit.

"Nice guard" Heather said. "Now we're sure I'm me."

"You came as back up?" Gwen asked. "Without being ordered?" Heather shrugged.

"Stranger things have happened, right?" she said. "I passed Duncan heading in. He's laying some traps around, but I couldn't follow him too close in the storm."

"He was doing the same thing at our base" Gwen said. "He must be pulling a huge task to make sure we die getting back to base."

"It'll be fine" Heather said with a nonchalant brush of her hand. "Oh, and PS, he's coming this way with the intel. Better hide." Heather cloaked and took to the rafters. Izzy did the same with her ax equipped. Gwen equipped her saw and jumped up off the desk to get a hand-up by Izzy. Soon after all three girls were gone from view, Duncan came running in and laid a final mine. Then he tossed his weapon away and it broke on the ground behind him.

"There" he said as he patted his hands. "Now no one will ever say that I never did an honest five-minutes worth of work. Time to plant this bitch." He took a step, just one step, for the desk and stopped. He could feel the lethal gazes of three-fold harpies preparing to descend. He pulled out a box-cutter knife in one hand and an unbroken bottle in the other, dual-wielding melee weapons to better his chances. The first to fall, silent as a cat's footstep, was Heather from behind. Then, with a short growling roar, came Izzy. She clashed with Duncan's strong box-cutter hand and was pushed away, leaving him totally open from behind.

Fortunately for Duncan, that's when Courtney showed up with Katie backing her up. She attempted to snipe the nimble assassin in a split second but missed. Heather rushed in, pushing forward with her sword brandished and tip poised for Courtney's loud face. Katie intercepted her attack with her medi-gun, allowing it to break to give she and Courtney time to draw their melee weapons. Duncan and Izzy fought to a near stand-still, but Duncan managed to use her pushing skills to move himself in a circle and backed into the desk, planting the intel automatically.

"AGH!!!" Izzy roared. Her fury intensified in her sudden failure and she swiped her weapon through the clear liquor bottle in his hand to split his throat.

"""

"Totally worth it" Duncan said flashing a rock-on sign.

"""

Izzy glared back at Courtney and Katie who had outnumbered Heather with stronger weapons. Gwen finally worked up the nerve to drop down from the ceiling and slashed Courtney straight down her spine. She wasn't dead yet, but Izzy's quick ax-hack did kill her. No longer outnumbered. Heather kicked Katie square in her gut, slashed off her head, then her arm, and then split her body in two with a sudden, rage-powered slash.

"Okay" Heather sighed. "Who else is getting a little annoyed with how our tactics keep getting countered?"

"Me" Izzy lowed.

"Let's just get the intel" Gwen said "and get out of here. I have a feeling getting back to base is going to be harder than getting here."

"Like a bitch, girl" Heather said.

"I have a feeling we're all going to die" Izzy said with a sudden spark of intellect. The other two looked at her curiously.

* * *

In the end, the order was decided. Heather took the intel first, as she was the most likely to escape in a dire situation. Izzy would take it next for the hope that she could still carry it with an objective-mindedness when her mind was lost. Gwen was the final candidate to carry it as it would automatically drop when she went invulnerable, her last-resort to fight after or near the border of death. Until someone else came along that would make things easier, the girls were determined to stay on this course and capture the intel to even the score again.

"I'll take a look ahead" Heather said. "Back me up if I shout."

"Got it" Gwen said. Heather split from the group and ran ahead with Gwen and Izzy following behind her, keeping her presence hidden from even their own protection. They followed Heather up the strait stairs and heard a muffled booming in the roaring winds. "What was that?" Gwen asked. Izzy took point and peeked out into the dusty, thick air. She looked around and started moving slowly across the walkway of the ramparts, keeping her feet steady and slow moving. All at once her balance was lost and she was thrown to the ground by an object that was static to it. She looked where she slipped and saw the briefcase.

"What?" Gwen said. "What happened? Did she drop it on purpose?" Izzy picked it up.

"She must be switching it up" Izzy said. "Let's just trust Heather's plan and keep our heads up for Duncan's trap."

"Got it" Gwen said. They moved to the steep grade and slid carefully down to the lower floor. Izzy stopped and halted Gwen from proceeding another step. It was now they realized where Heather had gone and what the earlier boom was. Just in front of their feet, hidden by the swirling sands of the storm, was a claymore mine. Gwen looked ahead and peered into the sandstorm, seeing the small shadow of another mine just ahead, and to her side there was yet another. Duncan's MVP powers had allowed him, at the expense of all his ammunition, to lay a minefield stretching from the ramparts of his base all the way back to the Blue base, an impenetrable wall of offense.

"I've got an idea" Gwen said "but we'll need a third person to do it."

"Does the plan involve killing them?" Izzy asked.

"Not if we do it right" Gwen said. "If we can go invincible and clear out the mines without getting actually hurt by them, we can run ahead of a carrier and clear a path for them at least far enough to get into our own base again!"

"Good plan" Izzy said with a nod. "But, and I'm not trying to be too critical, how do we get someone here if these things are everywhere?"

"Damn" Gwen said. "I'll radio someone to meet with us somewhere. Until then we just have to step carefully."

"Right" Izzy said. "Don't touch the sprinklers, because this time, they really _are_ land mines." Izzy stepped over a mine and heard it beep. She froze in horror, but thankfully the mine only beeped and showed no signs of exploding. Gwen waited for her to proceed for a step and followed closely after her, watching the ground intently for mines. They navigated in a zigzagging meander through the mines and storming dust and into the hall of the ground floor of the base. The floor was spotted in mines, some beeping from proximity with each other, and stretched on, ending at the doorway into the sewers.

"Proceed with extreme caution" Gwen warned.

"Gwen, help!" Owen called. "Eva, DJ, Sadie and Katie are all here and they're trying to take the intel! Oh crap! Courtney's here too!"

"Calm down, Owen" Gwen said. "Who's on defense with you?"

"Cody, Beth, Justin and Leshawna" Owen said. "I tried calling Lindsay but I can't get an answer from her. You've gotta get back here ASA-" the transmission cut out. From the heat of battle or an unfortunate end, Gwen couldn't tell. She crushed the air in her fist and grit her teeth.

"Come on, slowpoke!" Izzy called from ankle-deep into the minefield. She slyly stepped on the tips of her toes between one mine and another, meandering flawlessly with her agile feet. Gwen followed, uncertain at first, stepping with extreme care and hopping greater distances than Izzy did with her large combat boots.

"Hello?" Lindsay called. "Is anyone there?"

"Lindsay?" Gwen answered. "Where are you?"

"In the sewers" Lindsay said. "I tried to cross to Red base from under the bridge but it was impossible! My earpiece got all fuzzy and loud and I could barely move around. The wind was so strong it lifted me up and threw me into the tunnel! Now I'm down here and-oh, there you are!" Lindsay appeared in the doorway and took a half step forward into the base, her hand waving and her face smiling. Gwen and Izzy froze up. Instinctively, somehow, Lindsay just stepped her pointed, tall heels between each mine without considering them there. "Thank goodness I found you guys! I think there's a huge battle going on at our base!"

"No talkie!" Izzy shouted. She gave Lindsay the briefcase and forced it onto her back. "Stay behind us, _chica_, and you won't get hurt."

"...'Chica'?" Lindsay said.

"Now Gwen!" Izzy called. Gwen nodded and cranked her medi-gun. Her ubercharge was on. Izzy leaped through the room and landed on a mine. It exploded with a sudden flash-pot blast of light and a loud boom, then sank into a black scorch on the floor. Izzy was fine. "Follow us!" Izzy commanded. Gwen ran after her, ignoring the forceful, loud explosions going on all around her. Lindsay, never one to ponder something curious for too long, simply followed orders and followed Gwen and Izzy as they cleared her a path back to base through the minefield.

"""

"There are some obvious risks with my plan" Duncan admitted, nonchalantly picking his nails with a pocket knife. "Gwen's smart enough to avoid little bumps in the ground, obviously. And Izzy? She'd pick one up and pet it if she wanted to, so I'm not worried about her. It's all just to buy time while my team moves up. An unspoken defense using offensive power. That's the Red team."

"""

* * *

As time ticked down and down during the harrowing game that the contestants all played, a certain cocky and arrogant man sat behind his seat, tapping his fingers while watching the action all around him on a surround display of monitors and speakers. Chris McClean, revered host of reality TV, carefully observed the whole of his efforts, the Total Drama Team Fortress warfare on the screen from multiple angles and many cameras. He monitored all the technical callings of the game, from the frequency of the storm's howling winds to the rise and falling of temperature to reflect the passage of time as if real to the fighters, all while reclining back and sipping hot, whipped coffee retrieved by a skittish intern. Apparently not all of them were fired....

"Ah, to be in charge" Chris said. "It feels good. It feels great, in fact, to know that I'm back in power again. Noah's off this map and any other one, gone from the game. I should call Chef back and tell him mission accomplished." But he didn't. He was drinking Chef's coffee, after all. The monitors suddenly all crackled and hissed with static and an angry face came to them. Chris was thrown back and threw his coffee away to save his face as he hit the hard floor in shock, for the eye-patched Executive of the Network was glaring him down.

"Mr. McClean!" the Exec shouted as Chris scrambled back into his upright seat. "The board and I have reviewed the numbers for you new project. It's a raving hit." Chris's face lit up.

"Well, I'm not one to brag," he modestly began.

"However" the man continued "it has come to our attention that the funding for this show is paid for in experimental, untested trials performed out of country. The paperwork for an international contest, using our studio and production company in conjunction with whoever _Valve_ software is, has been skirted to say the least! The papers were stamped, including the papers to be signed by the contestants who entered the virtual reality trial!"

"There's a good reason for that!" Chris said. "We couldn't get them here any other way unless they were...already in the tanks! I mean, these kids, they kinda....hate being national television celebrities." The Executive was not amused.

"You are in direct violation of several laws!" he exclaimed. "The RCMP is here questioning whether or not one of the contestants is a nationally wanted criminal."

"Now that was a problem before this show" Chris contested, drying desperately to hold onto some form or rationality to keep his position. "Besides, that 'criminal' is our most popular and powerful fighter on the show! She can't be beat."

"We're going to beat you if you don't remedy this!" the Exec shouted. "You have until the end of the week to get your ill-seated ass back to Canada. At least then we'll only have to deal with the judicial system of _one_ country. That is all!" The connection cut out and automatically printed a time-and-dated report indicating that the communication had come through, which was reprinted and faxed elsewhere in the world, back at the studio headquarters. Chris was near the point of fainting. He looked around for a solution, all across the numbered and coded series of buttons, but could find no hope.

"Dude, this is going to be a ratings killer" Chris said "if we end the show early. I hope they realize that...." Chris' face took on a scheming smile and a snide sense of doubtlessness. He flipped a switch and opened up communications to the gamers within the battlefield. All but those out in the thick of the storm heard his voice began to call.

"_Guess what, soldiers of fortune!?"_ His voice brought on an immediate downgrade in morale and a shocking horror to everyone's face. _"It's time for another test of mettle against metal!"_

"""

"Someone needs to kill that man" Courtney raged. "Kill him and kill him hard!"

"""

* * *

What sneaky trickery does Chris have in store? What devilish plan will he enact on the oh so innocent soldiers already under the weight of his weighty command to save his own skin from the national forces of law and bureaucracy!? Whatever he does, he's sure to entertain, and leave us all wanting for more and more! What will happen? Find out next week!

Also, here is the confessional from the capture made by Red team earlier in the match. Let's watch, shall we?

"""  
"When I was twelve" Gwen began "I was kinda dragged into the Goth scene by my friends. We went to a screamo concert and got hooked on it. Totally hooked. Anyway, after about a year of making friends I was pretty much into the scene, you know? I was Goth, no hardcore enough to get arm piercings, yes, I know people who have piercings in their arms, but I had the makeup and the clothes and the affinity for darkness and pessimism, but I also had a respect for my parents. So, in that way, I was in and out. Anyway, one summer, a friend of mine was showing off a tattoo she got that was on her back. Black wings coming out of her shoulder-blades. We all thought that was so cool, even me, and, after a lot of talking, I got a tattoo too." Gwen turned around and lifted her shirt so her back was to the camera, revealing a skull on fire with a snake slithering through the eyes and mouth on the left side of her back, just below her shoulder.

"Nobody knows about this" Gwen said. "Not my parents, not anyone else but my friend I got it with. That's the biggest, and stupidest, thing I've ever hidden from my family...sorry guys." Gwen at least had the ration to understand that what she said would be seen in front of the nation, and hung her head in shame over it.... Still, it was a cool looking tattoo.

"""


	64. 2Fort 14

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Before Chris reentered his role as the all-watching, all-controlling being in the game, Gwen and her team pushed through the dust and cleared their way back into their base before the invulnerable rush of her ubercharge wore off. Now she, Izzy and Lindsay were all but homefree and helpless. Surrounded by mines even in their own base. These mines weren't as scattered and were placed strategically, at each corner and hugging all the walls where a tactical soldier might press themselves against to gain a better grounding relative to the combat around them. Mines were around blind corners, lined up against each other in rows with little to no space between them worth jumping over, and some even stuck to the walls to create massive chain explosions that threatened, at a glance of multiplied power, to destroy a part of the base itself.

"Well this blows" Gwen said.

"We could wait" Izzy said "for the charge to go back up."

"No time" Gwen said. She noticed they were right under the square opening that led up to the ramparts spawn room. From there she could get to the intel room, provided she had the kind of jump that Lindsay's class had. "Lindsay, jump onto my back. You can get up and make your way to the intel room to help out with the fight and make the capture!"

"Wait!" Izzy demanded. "Use my back. It's strong from baling bales of hay!"

"Cool!" Lindsay exclaimed. She stepped onto Izzy's back, got a boost up from Izzy's throw upwards and cleared the space into the room up above, landing perfectly on her feet.

"Don't die!" Gwen instructed. Lindsay saluted and ran off, leaving Gwen and Izzy to deal with clearing the field of mines yet again.

"We may as well split up" Gwen said. "We're both going to the same place, right?"

"Probably" Izzy said with a shrug. Gwen uncertainly turned and began carefully walking through the mines again, keeping her eyes down and scanning the floor constantly. She turned around after a moment and saw that Izzy had **died!** An unknown force had killed her, and before too long Gwen knew what that force was. She turned back around to make a retreat and got a swift slash across her throat, nearly killing her as a backslash would have, leaving her to choke on her own blood as it sprayed in fake, digital courses from her throat.

"Oops!" Harold exclaimed. "You weren't supposed to turn around!" Gwen staggered around, gripping her throat and reaching to the walls, when she pressed a mine. She was blown away instantly and the mines all around her beeped as well. They didn't go off, as she was dead beyond recovery, so Harold moved out with a a swing of blood off of his blade and a glaring stare forward.

"""

"The art of the ninja" Harold said "is to kill without being detected. Without being known. I have long since mastered that treacherous path, and now even Izzy cannot pick up my presence from any angle. It was my duty to destroy the killing force that would hinder our efforts in capturing the enemy intel. Now that that has been done..."

"""

"...it is time to find my true opponent..." Harold vanished and made his way a few steps through the base before tripping over a mine and faceplanting to the ground. "Gah!" he shouted. Lindsay, meanwhile, was keeping her guard up as she made her way cautiously down the spiraling walkway to her intel room. She could hear the battle raging down below. She double-checked her gun's ammunition, ran a length of hall, checked it again and promptly slowed herself to a casual walk as she seemed to have forgotten why she was being so urgent in the first place. An explosion from down the hall reminded her of her objective and she was once again cautious. She turned the last corner that led straight into the wide intel lobby when she encountered a startled Tyler running at her.

"Tyler?" Lindsay said.

"Lids?" Tyler said, more wantingly than curiously. Lindsay backed away and blindly fired.

"I'm sorry!" she shouted. "Sorry, sorry sorry! I have to go!"

"It's okay" Tyler said. Lindsay opened her eyes and saw that she had missed on every shot. Tyler was standing in the hall, wondering why she was so sorry.

"""

"Stupid mascara!" Lindsay cursed. "If only they made it see-through, then I could shoot with my eyes closed!"

"""

Tyler calmly approached Lindsay and took her by the shoulders. "Babe" he began "what was up with that?"

"You're the enemy!" Lindsay whined, throwing down her arms.

"Yeah" Tyler said "when there are other people around that are also enemies. When we're along, with just the two of us, and no one else anywhere, we're boyfriend and girlfriend." Suddenly, Lindsay's confusion was absolved.

"We are?" she said. "Oh, phew! I thought I might get into trouble if I acted like that around you. That's why I kept killing you so much."

"Well you were doing a great job of it" Tyler said. "A lot of times I really tried fighting back but, your guns are too quick for me."

"Aww" Lindsay awed. "You're too good for me."

"Thanks, babe" he said. He drew out his pistol and brought her hand to her waist belt to do the same.

"What're you doing, Tyler?" Lindsay asked. Tyler cocked his gun and hers, then positioned both guns to the opposite heads. Hers to his, and his to hers. "What's going on?"

"This way" Tyler said "if they find our bodies they'll think we fought each other to the death, not knowing that we had any kind of romantic moment during a fight, and neither of us will get in trouble!"

"That sounds smart" Lindsay said apprehensively, "but I've got this thing on my back, and if I don't deliver it...." Tyler looked back and saw his team's intel. The gears started to whir in Tyler's head, silently, and moved the plan in his mind to formation.

"""

"This way" Tyler began "not only can I keep me and Lindsay tight in our relationship, but I can look like a self-sacrificing hero type of guy and save our intel from getting captured! It may be a cruel thing to do to Lindsay, but she's a tough girl. She won't let a thing like letting her team down bring her down or our relationship....a bit!"

"""

"Trust me, Lindsay" Tyler said in his most convincing, pleading voice. "This is the best way not for either of us, but for us _together." _Lindsay kept a worried, confused look on him, but eventually gave in with a whine and leaned in to kiss him as both of their fingers on their triggers began to tense.

* * *

The ebb of battle began to fall in the Red's favor, ushering in a Crimson Tide of epic proportions.....

All joking aside, the battle was being lost by the Blues on their own home front. What began as a total stand-off between greater powers had reduced itself to a tactical slaughtering. Owen was the last man standing and had equipped himself with a headshot-proof helmet fashioned from the remains of Cody's wrecked turret around him. He was backed against a damaged dispenser and faced off between the two opposing MVPs hellbent on his death, Eva and Courtney. Courtney continually distracted him with shots to his helmet, jarring his sight and shaking his concentration long enough for Eva to do damage. Owen was on his last leg. Eva managed to break his left one in an earlier rush attempt. The safety of the Blue intel rested solely on his ability to withstand the constant barrage of pain and bullets.

Both girls ducked into their opposite hallways and radioed each other on short-range, scrambled communications so their voices were unheard even by those close to them. A secret channel of MVP-only communication for instant reporting and tactical banter.

"I'm going for it" Courtney said. "You charge in and take the oaf."

"Does it matter that I'm hanging on to the last ten percent of my life?" Eva said.

"Does it?" Courtney repeated. Eva smirked and huffed into the communicator.

"Not in the slightest" Eva said with a pound of her fists. Owen heard only that and rose up to his knees, both repaired finally after the short healing pause against the dispenser he had been granted. He was up on both feet and ready for anything. His gun was spinning. Courtney came out first in a straight sprint for the desk. Owen opened fire and traced her up to the edge of the desk where he saw Eva charging him with her gatling gun held out in front of her like a blow. Owen turned to her automatically and fired bullets into the solid metal surface which pushed into his chest and smashed his body through the dispenser, pinning him to cracking slanted glass overlooking the bottom floor of unmanned terminals.

Eva pushed her foot against her gatling gun, pinning him further, and began to wail on Owen with her fists.

"Capture, Reds!" Courtney said as she picked up the intel and began a light, damaged jog for the hallway. A blond blur came at her at a sonic speed just as she cleared the desk and stood before it. Lindsay delivered a super-speed tackle that snapped Courtney's back against the metal edge of the desk the instant of contact, forcing the intel from her dead arms as her body flew with a splat into the slanted windows where Owen was pinned. Lindsay planted her intel with panting breath and pumped her arm in victory. The score changed to a 6-6 tie.

"What!?" Eva shouted.

"Way ta go, Lindsay!" Owen cheered. Eva delivered a final, fatal uppercut on Owen and stomped over to Lindsay. As frantic as she was, Lindsay was still to damaged to make a hasty retreat. With her sonic shoes burnt out and her head bleeding from the poorly-aimed shot of her boyfriend, she was too weak to escape being grabbed around the neck and neck-thin waist by Eva who broke her in half over her knee like a broomstick.

"""

"Not that it was much harder than breaking a broomstick" Eva noted. "Not one of those real sleek, authentically carved, varnished, tough-wooden broomsticks. She was like a hollow, cheap, dollar-store plastic one."

"""

Eva huffed and growled, hunching her back over with a foam in hr mouth. An unseen meter was filled by ticks in her rampage and Eva's berserk was near to activation. It was in that blurry-eyed frantic rush that Eva was killed, a short rush of murder away from her first official berserk. Her body fell to the ground with a thud, a hole bored through her head with a piercing bullet sunken into the metal wall behind her. Trent lowered his gun, wiped the sweat from his brow and placed his intel back on the desk as he took the chair and leaned back with his legs up.

"My timing could have been a lot better" Trent said "but thank god I got here when I did. I don't think we could handle both a lost battle _and_ a berserk Heavy, least of all Eva. I guess we're better off taking what we can get at this point....still..." Trent looked at his sniper rifle, eying down the surface and form that he had come to recognize completely, and unscrewed the silencer from the tip. "How'd this even get on there? And before I respawned too?"

"Trent?" Gwen called on the radio.

"I'm here" Trent responded.

"What's the situation?" Gwen requested.

"All's clear" Trent reported. "Lindsay made the capture and I managed to kill off Eva before she could pick up where Courtney left off. We're alright down here for now."

"That's great" Gwen said. "Looks like the mines are all gone, too."

"Mines?" Trent said.

"Don't worry about it" Gwen said. "We need to prepare our next offense. We'll all meet up in the intel room, so stay put and shoot on sight, regardless who it is. I don't remember Harold ever dying unless he joined the fight a little late..."

"Got it" Trent said. "I'll hold the fort." Trent discontinued his communication and sat back down in his chair. He brought his legs up onto the edge of the desk and pushed it back hard against the wall, eliminating the possibility that Harold was there. He was in fact in the rafters, narrowly dodging Trent's sudden attack and keeping himself hidden in the invisible shadows.

"""

"That was a close one" Harold said. "I guess being under the scope all the time, so to speak, has given Trent near precogniscient abilities as a sniper. I hope he doesn't hone them any time soon. The last thing I want to happen is to get no-scoped on a random lucky-shot between my eyes and have to suffer dying like that for everyone to see."

"""

* * *

In time, both teams reunited and planned, sans Harold on the Reds side who continued to stalk the Blues meeting for invaluable intelligence and countless assassination chances, and Noah who remained missing from the game on the Blue's side. Gwen opted to lead the meeting for her side while Courtney, predictably, took authoritarian charge of her side.

"What's the plan?" Cody asked.

"This is it" Gwen said. "For now, we need to concentrate on our defense and hold our lead."

"But the game" Heather defended. "If one side doesn't win we both lose."

"I agree with Heather" Leshawna said, startled even at herself. "I mean....she's right." Even at something as neutral as that she was surprised at herself for saying so.

"I'm aware of that" Gwen said. "Trust me, the other team knows that too. That's why they're making such a huge deal out of rushing as much as they have been."

"If they're taking an offensive stance" Trent began "it wouldn't make sense for all of us to defend at the same time. Who's going to be on the offensive squad this time?"

"Listen" Gwen said, "I know it hasn't been long since our last break, but I feel like it's been a while since the last....twist. Knowing Chris he has something in the works that'll change up the game again. My plan is to wait on that and defend. Hopefully it'll be something that will force the Reds to play different than they're used to and we'll get the advantage by defending."

"So we're counting on Chris?" Heather said. "Since when has that ever yielded any kind of positive results?"

"Yeah, I gotta agree with Heather" Owen said. "I'm not picking sides or anything, but, well, Chris is the devil. He can't be trusted with anything but food, and even then I have to inspect the food he gives me before I eat it because I'm so sure there's something wrong with it. The man's so twisted he'll mess with food and he knows it!"

"That rat bastard!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Sorry Gwen" Cody said "but I can't hang my hat on the hope that something will work out in our favor completely." Gwen sighed and withdrew her stance at once.

"Well, if we can't all agree on that" Gwen said "then who'll volunteer to go on the offense team and attack while the rest stay here to defend?" Heather and Izzy raised their hands and Izzy rose Lindsay's hand for her. "That's it?"

"Well defense is important, too!" Owen attested.

"I'm getting better at headshots" Trent said. "Plus I've got this silencer for my gun now, so I'd do better on defense."

"I'd just die a lot" Cody said with a nonchalant wave.

"I'm a defense specialist" Leshawna said.

"I'd rather not risk my skin to the sand" Justin said. Beth huffed at him and shook her head.

"So all that complaining" Gwen began "and most of you don't want to go?"

"You guys can handle Harold if he comes around" Heather said. "I mean, he's just Harold. Gwen, you've got skills with your bonesaw. He's really the only obstacle either me or Izzy would have to stay here for, after all."

"I guess you're right about that" Gwen admitted. "Okay then, team Guts will storm the Red base during their next rush and go for the intel under Heather's orders." Heather received a high-five from Izzy and a skeptical glance from Leshawna.

"""

"I know I've been agreeing with her on and off" Leshawna admitted "but there's still something shifty about the girl. The past has a lasting effect on people, you know. Maybe I just can't get it out of my mind of what a scheming, spoiled and, and duplicitous girl she used to be....I hope she proves me wrong."

"""

"Alright team" Gwen said. "Let's get set up for the next wave. Heather, move out. Team Wall, spread out. Leshawna, guard the straight stairs, someone's going to use those before the other ones if they can. Trent, pick a corner you can shoot from. Cody, get your turret up. Owen, hug a corner and I'll heal you from across the room. Justin, Beth, make patrols and report on any movements you see coming at us." The soldiers all saluted and moved into place. Heather, Izzy and Lindsay rushed off on their own accord for the Red base. Harold, seeing no opportunity to kill and get away with it, invisibly followed Beth and Justin up to the ramparts spawn room, dropped down to the ground level and left the base with all the information he needed gathered to ruin the Blue team's strategy.

Meanwhile, at the Red base, authoritarian Courtney was streamlining her team's strategy in the exact way the Blues thought she would.

"Zeke, stay in here on defense" she said. Zeke nodded and picked out a good corner for his turret to go into. "Duncan, lay some hidden mines just outside the room and start patrolling." Duncan nodded and loaded his mine gun. "Everyone else, we're going to divide up into two teams and charge the Blue's from two angles. I'll lead a charge with Sadie, Katie, and Tyler through the sewers. Eva will lead DJ, Geoff and Bridgette across the bridge and attack first. We'll be your backup and come in on your signal."

"Good plan" Eva said.

"Wait a sec, guys" Geoff said. "What about Harold? He isn't here yet, and without him on a team-"

"Harold's on his own team" Courtney said. "He works better that way, lone wolf, blah blah. You've heard him ramble on, I don't have to repeat it all."

"Well hear me now!" Harold said. He dropped from the rafters with a trail of smoke around him as he decloaked and pulled up his masking hood. "I have spied successfully on the plans of the Blues, and they are on their way to attack our defenses with Heather, Izzy and Lindsay!"

"What about the others?" Courtney asked.

"Defense" Harold said. "They've set up a massive defensive structure within their base, knowing that we would go on the attack with all our forces."

"Those asses!" Courtney exclaimed. "How'd they know what we would do?"

"Because its' the _only_ thing we do, eh?" Zeke said. Courtney scowled at him, but he didn't budge. He was just voicing his opinion based on what was true, and she sighed as she realized it.

"Then we'll have to change it up" Courtney said.

"My team will stay on defense" Eva said.

"Really?" Courtney said.

"""

"Heavy is a defense class" Eva said. "Going on offense with a medic balances it out to make it an offense combo. Without one I'm slow and powerful but I can still die. With a medic, on defense, I'm basically a turret, but I'm a damn powerful one, and right now we'll need as many defensive turrets as we can get to outdo the stupid Blue defenses..."

"""

"Even this way" Courtney said, rubbing her chin nefariously "we've still got the advantage! The same amount on defense but we have the stronger offense! Hahaha! This plan can work yet! Harold, what will you be doing?"

"Defense, ma'am" he said with a sharp salute. "It seems only fitting that I remain here to aid in controlling the wild powers of both Heather and Izzy, who fight me more often in melee duels than anyone else."

"Good" Courtney said. "Let's move out! Time is still moving!" And so the teams were mobilized. The defense-heavy plans were placed and the pieces all began moving towards each other....

Then the storm outside stopped and a bright, sunny, summer day greeted both offense teams as they reached the outside ground. A pause in the action occurred as both attackers waited with building dread at the low, airy hum of the announcement speakers....

* * *

"_Guess what, soldiers of fortune!? It's time for another test of mettle against metal! Hehe! Get it?"_ The soldiers all groaned. Chris was back with his game-saving announcement. _"As you can plainly see, the dust storm is over. You'll need all the space you can get for this next little modification."_

"Blow it out something, Chris!" Courtney shouted. Her gun was pulled from her arms with an unseen force and vanished in mid-air before her. "Hey! What's the deal!?" She watched as her spare automatic, Tyler's guns, Sadie and Katie's guns all vanished as they floated. Down below, the same thing was occurring, and all the guns and ammunition were steadily, suddenly vaporized without a single warning. The mines Duncan had laid were gone as well and the turret Zeke had built broke down into scrap metal.

"Guess the bolts were loose, eh?" he said, oblivious to the universal change until he turned. Everyone was automatically brandishing their melee weapons, even DJ and Bridgette, the medics.

"_It's fun time!"_ Chris continued. _"What's a war without a little skirmishing and close-range scuffling? For this event, it's melee-weapons **only!!!**"_

"BOO!!!" Courtney shouted with her stun-baton-blade in hand. "This isn't fair! What about the long-range fighters?"

"What about the medics?" Katie asked.

"_Medics can still heal at the same rate as before"_ Chris continued _"but only if they are in direct contact with the person they're healing. Otherwise, what would be the point? We're trying to bring the teams even closer together through teamwork and melee weapon warfare. So lets see some brotherly, sisterly bloodshed going on down there!"_

"What's the point of this?" Courtney demanded.

"Courtney" Tyler said, "I'm going ahead. I'm fast enough to go in and out of their base without getting hit if I'm careful. Since both Heather and Izzy are on their way here, I don't have much to worry about."

"Fine" Courtney said. "We'll catch up. Stay safe." Tyler saluted with his bat and sped off to the battlements, then across the top of the bridge and into the Blue base from above. Lindsay emerged with her bat armed from the Red sewers and checked if all was clear before reporting back to her other two attackers.

"Looks good" she said.

"Great" Izzy said as she equipped her hockey mask. "I'll take point."

"Why do you keep wearing that mask?" Heather asked.

"I actually think it charges up my berserk meter faster" Izzy explained. "I mean, that'd make sense, wouldn't it? Plus it's scary!"

"I think you make it scary, girl" Heather said. Izzy nodded and sped out into the Red base, looking around in a rush. Sadie and Katie dropped down to the ground floor and spotted the attackers.

"They're here!" Katie announced. "They're coming up through the sewers!" Izzy charged and attacked ferociously with her ax. Sadie blocked with her shovel but it was pressed against her body by Izzy's power. Heather and Lindsay went on ahead of her, into the open-air ramparts with a newly, spontaneously regenerated wooden walkway.

"That'll make things easier" Heather said.

"Look out!" Lindsay shouted. Courtney fell from above with her weapon sparking electricity and slashed Heather right in the back of her head, paralyzing her into a twitching, steaming body that writhed around in the dust. Lindsay armed her light, wooden, corked bat and angrily faced off against Courtney with her superior weapon and skill. Meanwhile, Izzy was dealing with both Katie and Sadie on her own, using her own expert skill to make fools of the girls. Katie kept her hand on Sadie as much as she could to keep her healed, but the frantic and rapid movements that Izzy made to move the girls separated the girls constantly.

Izzy slid her foot into Sadie's and broke the heel on her shoe, tripping her onto her back where Izzy quickly chopped into her neck before blocking Katie's desperate attempt to save Sadie with her saw. Izzy swung the saw out of Katie's hand. Katie dove onto Sadie and started healing her with a powerhug. Izzy spun her ax handle around her hand as a threatening taunt and approached the girls as one struggled on her back and the other gave her a healing touch.

"RAH!" Sadie shouted as she shot to her feet, fully healed and then some. Izzy lazily blocked her sudden attacks with a single hand and stepped away from her.

"Your anger doesn't help you fight" Izzy said. "You cannot use it like I can!" Izzy began to spin her ax in her hands with the speed of a glaring buzz-saw and made a powerful attack into Sadie's shovel block. The metal head of her weapon was sliced off by the evil, serrated monster-ax that Izzy wielded and fell to the ground. Sadie nervously grinned and was killed in an instant ax-sweep by Izzy, whose body was twisted all in one direction with the power of her attack. Katie sat shivering and scared on the ground while Izzy slowly and calmly approached her, the ax still dripping with blood in her hand and fresh murder in her eyes.

"""

"I can't help but be scared of her" Katie said. "If you were approached by someone wearing a hockey mask, you'd be pretty terrified too, I bet! Especially if they had a weapon in their hand and they weren't saying anything....maybe if they didn't have a hockey mask, that'd still be a pretty scary, right?"

"""

Lindsay had given up fighting Courtney and settled for luring her away from Heather by taking the long way to the intel room.

"I wonder" Lindsay wondered "if my shoes still work even though the weapons are turned off...shoes aren't weapons, so they should still work!" Lindsay too no risk. She sped from the spiraling walkway into the intel lobby where Duncan was waiting. He charged at her but with her slim and slender body she ducked past him and ran into the intel room where Eva was blocking the hallway.

"Try it!" Eva shouted. Lindsay grinned and nodded. Ignoring the dangers that would befall her gallant dress gown, Lindsay slid under Eva's legs and kicked herself back up to grab the intel off the desk.

"Wait up, eh!" Zeke shouted. He ran in front of her and crashed into her. Lindsay tumbled over Zeke and wound up sitting with his face up her dress. Thankfully, he was stunned and dazed from the blow.

"EEK!" she squealed. She kicked him and beat him with her bat as she got up, then turned and ran out of the room.

"""

"My head is still a little swollen from that" Zeke said "but I'm pretty sure something good happened to me."

"""

Lindsay again encountered Duncan and tried to dodge past him, but the hallway was narrow and she couldn't juke fast enough. Duncan grabbed her around her neck and put her in a choke-hold. Lindsay gagged and struggled, unable to breathe at all, while Eva stomped her way to finish her off in her solid, fatal grip.

"RAAAGH!!!" Izzy shouted. She came leaping in with a fresh, sizzling scar across her stomach and threw her ax into Duncan's back, releasing Lindsay and killing him instantly. Lindsay staggered behind the crazed girl for defense and caught her breath through her wrung, pained neck. "Get going!" Izzy commanded. "Heather already secured Courtney but Harold's bound to be around somewhere!" Lindsay nodded and ran through the pain. She clicked her heels together and, to her surprise, was sprinting at a sonic speed. Her shoes, being not weapons at all, still worked and carried her out into the Red ramparts, into a long jump across to the rampart spawn room and onto the roof of the bridge where she finally stopped and fell to catch her breath.

"Ouch!" she groaned. "Oh, that stupid Duncan! Who said grabbing people was part of the rules?"

"""

"Her neck's so thin" Duncan said "I thought I was gonna snap it if I held it too tight...so I tried holding it tighter. Looks can be deceiving, eh? Hehehe."

"""

* * *

"Nice try, Tyler" Gwen said to Tyler's corpse "but you need more batting practice before fighting me again."

"At least he hit something" Leshawna said, pointing to the dent he made in the wall from when his swing missed. "I swear, that boy's run right past the realm of cracking me up and into the area of sad."

"Hello?" a pained, airy Lindsay called over the radio. "Guys, I'm kinda hurt here. I've got the intel and I'm right outside our base."

"Hold tight, Lindsay" Gwen said. "Justin, Beth, one of you go cover her and get her here."

"Roger" Justin said. He hopped down from the ramparts and saw Lindsay go limping into the base. "Hey, Linds!" Justin called. It was too little, too late. Justin was stabbed through the back by Harold, who had sprung from the nearby bushes that he moved in front of the base to hide behind, and when Lindsay peeked out to see him he was already dead with Harold glaring her down.

"Eek!" Lindsay shrieked. She began running as fast as she could through her base with her damaged throat slowing her down as Harold came up swiftly from behind.

"Even if all my gadgets don't work anymore" Harold said "my blade can still cut its way through anything." Harold turned a corner to follow Lindsay, right into the supply-room that led out into the courtyard, when his vision was blocked and his way impeded by a heavy metal shovel spade. His body ran out from under him and he was thrown to the ground by his own force. He looked up and saw Beth wielding her shovel over him, winding it back for the final blow. He brought his blade back up and blocked it, then kicked himself back up and fought her down.

Lindsay's path was once again clear. She ran with a lighter pace down the straight and narrow stairway and met up with Cody who patrolled the hallway just outside the intel room. Lindsay hit him weakly with her bat to make sure he was who he was and handed the intel off to him.

"I can't make it" she said. "Go! Hurry! Before Harold catches up!"

"Harold's coming!?" Cody exclaimed. "You better heal yourself up!"

"I will" Lindsay said. She ran into the respawn room to heal while Cody ran the intel back as fast as he could. He made the capture, 7-6 advantage to the Blues, and the team held brief cheerful celebration. Harold heard it all as he descended the stairs and saw Lindsay coming out from the spawn room with her bat poised at him. He met her challenge and rushed full-force at her. Their swings timed out in perfect harmony, and in a samurai-showdown style slowdown the graceful victory of Harold gave way as Lindsay's head went rolling from her shoulders. Harold swung the blood from his sword and sheathed it. Then unsheathed it as he remembered how close he was to more enemies.

"""

"I can't believe I let her get away" Harold said. "Never get fooled again! I have to remember that even an injured, innocent-looking deer can bounce back and gore me with its horns if I let it recover."

"""

While the capture took place the game's event came to a surprisingly quick conclusion and the prize was spawned. Izzy was slowly walking out of Red base, her body covered with blood and her berserk meter nearly filled. She carried Heather's sword in her off hand which was also dripping in fresh, red carnage. She stopped on the bridge and looked down at the floor at its halfway point at a white, glowing box that floated just above the floor.

"_Wow"_ Chris announced. _"That was....quick. Uh, I just remembered that I forgot to say that this change isn't permanent. It was just for one capture..."_

"What!?" Courtney shouted as she respawned.

"_The whole point, besides forcing you guys to fight closer together of course, was to see which side would win the prize!"_ Courtney was so frustrated and angry that she dropped dead right outside her own spawn room. The icon of her death showed a brain and something broken in it as she had died from a stroke.

"There was a prize the whole time!?" Duncan shouted in anger.

"We already have the grenades" Gwen said, even more cheerful with the rest of her team over their victory. "What else could we need?"

"_First"_ Chris began, _"I'd like to take this little opportunity to say that, due to popular demand of our fanbase, the berserk meter is now a regular feature. Everyone has one that does something different when it's full. That being said, let's all welcome Xi back into the game!"_ Everyone tensed up a little bit. The fear that was a berserk Izzy, a sideless behemoth of rage and power, was now resurrected. But there was something more horrid about this time. There was no map-wide howling to accompany her arrival. There was only the far, distant humming of what sounded like an engine that moved the curiosity of the teams. Duncan spawned behind Courtney in the ramparts and moved to the battlements where the sound seemed louder.

"_Now then, for this event"_ Chris finally said, _"the prize should come as no surprise. For showing incredible prowess in an all melee fight-fest, the winning team gets the privilege of being the first to intentionally receive the newest super-weapon!!!"_

"Super weapon!?" exclaimed the Blue team. Duncan reached the battlements and heard the echoing rumble of an engine coming from within the covered blue bridge. He hopped down carefully from the elevated area and looked into the bridge which was full of smoke and noise. Then, to his stunned horror, out stepped Xi with her red, mad eyes **and a chainsaw in her hands.**

"_The super-weapon changes depending on who has it"_ Chris explained, holding back laughter. _"Right now, since it's in Izzy's hands....**it's a CHAINSAW!!!**"_

"**RRRREEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!**" she roared. Duncan could do nothing but flinch and die as she carved him apart. Terror was unleashed anew...

"""

"If I had a chainsaw" Duncan began "I'd take it to Chris and show him what a convict does to guys who try to screw them over!"

"""

"It's not like I want to complain" Gwen admitted "but doesn't this seem a little...unfair? Giving Izzy, a berserk Izzy, a chainsaw!? As if we don't have enough problems as it is with her running around, totally mindless."

"""

"I hope I don't have nightmares about this" Cody said. "There have been occasions where Izzy has killed me in my dreams, back on the old show. You know...back on the island in the middle of nowhere...."

"""

"This is bogus" DJ said. "Why's it always have to be about who killed the most people? When Izzy was killing everyone on my team, I was busy healing them, and I kept most of them alive too, until she killed them again. Hmph. I hope they start an award for best medic, cause I'd win that hands down!"

"""

"I can't complain about fairness" Courtney said. "We've been playing against a team with one less member for who knows how long, and no one's complained about that at all. If I start talking about unfairness, that's the first place they'll go, and I am not willing to fight them on that kind of ground...besides, the prize was only given to the winning team first. That means that this super-weapon will be available from here on out, and if we can camp that, we can turn the match around and win! It's all coming down to a fight of the power-hoarders. Whoever gets more obscene amounts of strength will win, and that is going to be us."

"""

* * *

Scary developments! Izzy with a chainsaw!? Everyone's dead! Or are they? Will this addition change the game in favor of the Reds, or will Xi dominate the field in no one's favor at all? Find out next time on _Total Drama Team Fortress!_

Here is the confessional pooled from both Blue captures on both Sadie and Katie, who refused to do separate ones...

"""

"You wanna go first?" Katie said.

"I think we should both do ours" Sadie said.

"OH, what about that time" Katie began.

"With Jeremy?" Sadie said.

"That was horrible!" Katie exclaimed. "I'll never live it down."

"Me either" Sadie said. After a short pause, they looked at each other, and Sadie started. "One time, Katie was going out with this totally hot kid named Jeremy..."

"He could have been, like, a model!" Katie said. "Anyway, we were going out and it was getting serious."

"Bedroom serious" Sadie said.

"Yeah" Katie said. "He invited me home one night, so I went..."

"The next week" Sadie began "Katie started getting really sick."

"I was puking after every period in school" Katie said. "I didn't think much of it, but it just kept happening!"

"I talked to Jeremy about it" Sadie said "and he told me what was up."

"He thought I was pregnant!" Katie exclaimed.

"But you totally weren't!" Sadie said.

"Thank God, right?" Katie agreed. "Anyway, what happened after that?"

"Oh right" Sadie said. "That Jeremy was a rotten guy. It turns out he was ready to dump Katie the second he found out that she might have been pregnant."

"And you totally saved me from that" Katie said.

"I seduced him" Sadie said "and slept with him, that way I could embarrass him and expose him as the rat he was to the whole school when Katie 'mysteriously' found out the next day."

"We faked being mad at each other for a month" Katie said "and Jeremy couldn't get a date to save his life. He had to move."

"It was awesome!" Sadie said.

"Yeah!" Katie agreed. "Oh, except for the contraceptives I had to take...that part was pretty embarrassing."

"It made you break out in zits for like two whole weeks" Sadie said.

"I know" Katie whined. "And those were the weeks we were fighting, too, so I couldn't get help from you for makeup advice."

"So terrible" Sadie said. "You looked like you washed your forehead with grease."

"I know" Katie said.

"""

If there's anything after that, the camera got tired of recording and cut it out....


	65. 2Fort 15

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Unknown to the players, a ghost followed them through their battles. The digital throwaway realm had been abandoned by its primary prisoner some time ago. Now Noah, in his brilliance, was in the walls of the stage, passing through unseen passages under the floor and above all the ceilings, listening in to everything that went on and following all the action as it transpired. He kept his gun close and continued to record his thoughts into it for future commentary reference.

_My team seems to be functioning perfectly well without me_ Noah recorded. _Unknown to them, I have reentered the game. As of now I have been able to modify most of their weapons between their spawns with my engineering powers backed by an endless stream of hacked materials from my gun. It's ironic, in a way, modding guns with a gun. Whatever gives them a lead on their competition will do for now. The Red team has them outnumbered now by two, since it seems Izzy has lost her ability to fight for sides again. The clandestine addition of a berserk meter on everyone's unseen HUD is a bit disturbing to me, what's more is that there is no code for increasing the meter. It seems broken. Killing sprees, static guarding, inactivity, repeated walking patterns, just about everything is capable of increasing the berserk meter on anyone. I'm glad I deprogrammed mine. The last thing my team will need when I get back into the game is me running around, out of my mind, swinging a wrench instead of building important structures. For now I have to hide, because I know it's only a matter of time until I'm discovered, and then I'll be killed and banned from the server for life._

He continued clipping through the walls and ground, following around his teammates in their constant strategic movements. Each member spawned and found their modifications upon using their weapons in battle. Beth and Justin had the optional fire of a red-dot guided rocket which they used immediately after realizing what they had to fire blindly and then aim their rockets to a target, covering Lindsay as she ran across the roof of the bridge. The footsteps echoed down into the metal tunnel and woke the manic Xi who went sprinting after them, chasing an unknown foe that stayed out of sight.

Xi charged out into the open with her chainsaw held up at her head level. The soldiers from the Red battlements saw her making the charge for their base and fired at her. Geoff popped out and shot a rocket. Xi intercepted the rocket and changed its direction through the tunnel by catching it in a spinning kick. Courtney popped out next and fired down on her with her automatic gun. Xi blocked the bullets with her chainsaw and retreated back into the tunnel. During the confusion, Lindsay managed to land on the ground and enter through the Red base ground entrance.

"Dammit!" Courtney exclaimed.

"Relax" Eva called. "I've got her. The bulky girl waited for Lindsay in the ramparts where she appeared in the middle of her sonic-sprinting. Eva dodged to the side and swung her gatling gun where Lindsay ran. She clipped the girl and stopped her super-fast run, turning it into a super-fast tumble as Lindsay rolled right into wall and snapped her neck on contact. Eva pumped her arm in victory and went on running toward her goal of the sewers. She heard the loud roar of an approaching chainsaw and turned, startled, to a rushing Xi with a hockey mask equipped. "What the-!?" Xi was too fast and didn't let Eva finish. She sawed her down into giblets and took a resting, growling breath before running back to the bridge.

The bridge she guarded was already being quickly overtaken by her former teammates. Owen stood on the Blue side of the bridge, blocking it, with Gwen healing from behind and Heather behind the both of them, ready to spring in at a moment's notice.

"We need the roof down, Cody" Gwen called. Cody used his control of the bridge to lower the collapsible metal roof into the sides again, exposing the back of Xi's head to Courtney's rifle. Xi calculated their move and what Courtney would do and she ducked down to let Owen get hit in his gut instead.

"Youch!" Owen exclaimed. Courtney counted it as a hit and aimed lower. Xi began leaping around with her chainsaw on her back and managed to dodge a whole clip of Courtney's bullets. Then Owen's gatling gun began to spin and the berserk girl had to defend herself from the front. She took out her chainsaw and began spinning it around, deflecting the bullets in all random directions before her.

"**HEEEEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!!!**" Her mad laughter echoed all through the wide, closed in battlefield just as loud and startling as gunfire. While Xi was held in place by Owen's gatling fire, Courtney opened up as well and planted a shot perfectly through her head. Owen stopped firing. All the actions of the world seemed to stop for just a short moment as everyone waited to see the ending result of their unplanned combination attack on the invincible maniac. Heather moved to her body and drew her sword.

"If her chainsaw is still going" Heather said, referencing the obvious idling low of the weapon "then she must still be alive to use it!" Xi woke up in that instant and grabbed Heather's ankle. Heather swung down in reaction and cut Xi's hand off. The fingers were still tightly gripping at her foot and digging into her skin. Heather fell down, her ankle too injured to support her weight so quickly, and Xi leaped onto her with her remaining hand pulling her along. Heather was choked against the cold metal bridge.

"I'm on it!" Owen said. Courtney killed Owen with a headshot and his body fell backwards, nearly crushing Gwen.

"What the hell!?" Gwen exclaimed. Courtney shot at her next, but Gwen dodged. She blocked the shots at the cost of her medi-gun being shot to pieces and then ran back into her base. "Sorry, Heather!" Gwen called. Heather was too busy being strangled to death to notice that Gwen had left. Courtney just kept a steady eye on the back of Izzy's head, centering it so she could watch as Heather likewise stopped moving altogether so she could make her shot count.

"""

"That bitch!" Gwen lowed. "Well, I can't say I didn't expect it. She's not on our team, of course. I just hoped she'd wait until Izzy was dead before going off on us as well."

"""

Beth and Justin held Courtney off with two quick, guided rockets aimed at her which hooked around the metal wall she hid behind for an extra meter or so, providing a minor amount of splash damage. Trent ran out with his silencer on his gun, another modification provided by Noah unseen and unknown, and called for Beth to go back. It was him and Justin on the battlements to guard.

"I'm taking Izzy out" Trent said. "Cover me."

"What's she gonna do from down there?" Justin wondered. Izzy had overheard them with her berserk-enhanced hearing and let off of Heather's throat just long enough to stomp on it, keeping her choked and her health in a constant drain, while she took out her Uzi and sprayed high-impact rounds all across the wall. Trent threw himself onto his chest and took cover. Izzy unloaded a full clip of bullets, then turned around as she reloaded to check her back. She saw Tyler's bat in mid-swing just before it connected with her face and threw her off of her under-heel victim. Heather stood up and rubbed her throat with a gruff lowing to clear it. She and Tyler met eyes for but a moment.

They nodded. Heather would make it up later, but for now she left Xi to Tyler. The berserk, manic girl was without a hand but still managed to wield her chainsaw against him. Though he bravely faced her he was destroyed in an instant and Xi ran off to chase Heather into Red base. Trent got her head halfway across the bridge, reloaded and shot her head again.

"Finish it!" he called to Justin. Justin fired a rocket down and blew her body apart to make completely sure that she was dead. They sighed with relief at the end of their efforts and Trent crawled away to hide behind the sheet-metal wall on the battlements. "Keep your eyes open for Courtney. I have a feeling we're going to get invaded pretty soon, here."

"Good luck" Justin said. They both ran back, Trent to the intel room and Justin to treat his wounds and reload in the spawn room...

* * *

"Alright" Courtney called. "Looks like the bridge is clear. Everyone, we're making a rush. I'll guard up high. Duncan, you take a team through the sewers. Everyone else, take the bridge. Zeke, you're our defense. Even if it kills you, they can't sneak a single enemy past us."

"Got it" Zeke said. "Just let me handle it, eh, and I'll take care of it." Courtney rolled her eyes at his redundancy. Courtney took a prone stance on her battlements and watched the enemy stretch carefully. Justin popped out and shot a rocket at her. Courtney aimed her gun in his general direction and opened blind fire as she rolled away. Justin was shot through the arm enough times to make it useless. He dropped his rocket launcher and the guiding red dot automatically made a sharp jerk to the side, forcing the rocket to make an equal changed direction and chase Courtney, hitting her from behind and dealing huge damage.

The Reds made their move suddenly. Geoff and Bridgette were led by Duncan through the sewers and into Blue base, not expecting any resistance at all. Sadie, Katie and Harold sped off together to secure the bridge again, assuming that Justin would be dealt with in time. Courtney emerged from the spawn room, fully healed, and resumed her battle against Justin just as her team made their move for the bridge. DJ waited in the ramparts and made a slow patrol around, staying attentive for when Eva spawned. Tyler was still between spawns and, in that time, planned out his next run.

The Blues, meanwhile, all gathered in the same place. The whole team, minus Heather, was in the intel room, willing to keep their hold on the lead for the time being while sacrificing a potential loss in time to the Reds. Gwen commanded the team and coordinated their defense. Though all all nine together would be cramped when the last one spawned, they trusted in their own abilities as a team and in their leader to, obviously, lead them to victory. And, unknown to them, they were watched diligently by Noah through the walls as he sat in on their quick strategy meeting.

"Leshawna and Cody" Gwen began, "main defense. Leshawna, act on reaction. Lay four mines and blow them up, then four more before you have to reload. Cover the point at all times. Owen, you and me are secondary mobile offense. We'll guard the left hall. Beth, Lindsay and Trent, you guard the right hall as much as possible. When Izzy gets here we'll have her help."

"If she still has her chainsaw" Beth began "should we send her on offense instead?"

"I'm pretty sure she lost it" Gwen said "but if not we can let her decide on where she goes and what she does. Otherwise, we need her fire-cover."

"Hi guys!" Izzy called, as if cued in. She came in through the right hall and was sniped down by Trent, though the friendly-fire nullified anything and left Izzy scratching her head. "Hi Trent."

"Hey, Izzy" Trent greeted. Izzy wore a belt of glowing fireballs around her chest. "You've got the grenades?"

"Aw, Buttermilk Biscuits!" Owen groaned. "I knew I forgot to pick something up before I left the spawn room."

"No worries, big O" Izzy said. "With these babies I can cover this whole room on my own for long enough to fight off the whole Red team! You can send Lindsay and, maybe, Beth or Justin along to help Heather get the intel from Red base."

"I don't need help" Heather said. "Just meet me halfway, under the bridge, and I can pass the intel off to you, okay?" Lindsay looked around the room and saw that everyone seemed to be waiting on her to respond.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Alright, I'll be there."

"Hide if you can" Heather said. "As far as I know the entire Red team left Zeke alone in their base while they all charged like maniacs. You've got some heavy thunder rolling in."

"We'll manage" Gwen said. "Just do what you can to get the intel."

"Already on it" Heather said. "Radio silence..." She cut out, as if her channel had been killed, and left her team in an awkward yet confident silence. Then the shaking began as the Red army began to move in.

Duncan was the first into the prelude to the intel room, as he planted his feet at the bottom of the straight staircase that led down from the ramparts.

"Figures" Duncan said. He issued out a team-wide broadcast. "Get into position and await orders, guys. They're all in the intel room right now."

"Are you sure?" Courtney said.

"Absolutely" Duncan said.

"Even Heather?" Courtney pried.

"I don't know" Duncan said as he suddenly went on guard to protect his back from the potential of sudden assassination. "I'm not looking in there just to see if she's there! What am I, your patsy?"

"No" Courtney scowled "you're my errand boy! Harold, you do it. Go stealth and take a peek inside."

"Gotcha" Harold said. He ran ahead of his group, which came running down the spiral walkway, and turned invisible as he ran through the intel hallway. He stopped as he heard the firing of sticky grenades and peeked around the corner. The Blue's were indeed set up perfectly. He was staring down the rocket barrel of Beth crouched in the middle of the room, Trent prone behind the desk and as he peeked around the corner to the right he saw Lindsay with her bat held back and ready to swing. He looked to the rafters and saw Izzy predictably crouched with a belt of fire around her chest, and he made his retreat. Just as he left Izzy picked up his scene and made a growling snicker.

"They're coming" she warned over the radio. "I just felt someone's presence leaving.....someone invisible."

"Take care of it next time" Gwen said.

"Yes ma'am!" Izzy shouted. Harold rejoined the rest of his team in the lobby before the intel room halls and decloaked.

"I didn't see Heather..." Harold said. They all had the same thought and all shared the same silence, broken by Courtney who shortly joined them from the straight staircase descent. She opened a direct radio channel to Zeke, the only member of her team on defense and the one with the longest losing record against the devious assassin.

"Zeke!" Courtney exclaimed. "You need to be on high alert! Heather may be on her way to steal the intel, repeat, Heather may attack you!" She waited for a response. Courtney joined the group and met everyone's eyes as they waited for one as well. "Zeke?" she called again. No response. Zeke didn't even activate his radio.....

* * *

….he knew it was too dangerous right now. He was on a constant, intense guard. His radio was off so it wouldn't distract him and his hood was up. Heather kept herself out of the room as Zeke had placed his turret right on the desk that held the intel, and grabbing it would break both her stealth and any disguise she decided to take. She knew, however, that taking any disguise would reveal her and simply running into gunfire was an unacceptable way of attacking an enemy. She had calculated her moves, she saw through the route that lead to victory and she knew how to proceed. She would attack from above, drop a sap onto the turret and then swiftly fight Zeke. Even if he fought back his turret would be destroyed and Heather would be free to attack him at any time she pleased.

She was ready to move and gripped her blade, but something held her up. She felt someone behind her, confirmed a moment later by the cocking of a gun. Tyler, wearing all his manly bravado on the scowl of his face, had his scattergun cocked against her head. She slowly rose her arms up at her sides and sighed.

"My life" she said "isn't an acceptable means of paying you back, you know. What gave you the idea that I would just let this happen?" Heather drew knives from between her fingers. Tyler pushed himself into the butt of his high-power shotgun and pulled the trigger. Heather was blown forward and still managed to toss her handful of knives. The kickback on his gun was so much uncontrolled that Tyler likewise fell onto his back and dodged the knives. Heather's body was in range of the turret and her health was low. She heard the beeping and then the launch of rockets her way. Quickly she ran up the side of the wall and flipped away, riding the extra explosive push from the rockets hitting the wall right into Tyler's baseball bat which finally killed her, smashing her to the ground.

"Okay" Tyler said. "Now we're even." Tyler sheathed his bat and turned to Zeke, who gave him a quick salute. Tyler saluted as well and turned to run off. He rubbed the pits of each arm in pain and winced as he dashed through the halls of his base. "Man, that hurt! I gotta make sure never to do that unless I can heal immediately..." Tyler continued running, all through his base with wicked speed, right to the bridge. Just as he stepped onto it a flash of light spawned a box in the middle of the metal and Tyler stood, dumbstruck by his good luck.

"Hey guys" he called to his team in the Blue base. "Uh, I just killed Heather, me and Zeke that is, and now there's this box in the middle of the bridge. Should I pick it up?"

"**YES!!!**" Courtney roared. Tyler flinched away from his headset and looked curiously at the box. "Tyler, get that box! If the weapon inside is anything like what Izzy got we'll win this battle for sure! It won't even be a battle! It'll just be...sad!"

"For them" Eva added, estimating Tyler's intellect at a low point. Tyler scoffed and grabbed the box.

"I know who it'll be sad for" Tyler said. "Don't patronize me, man."

"Who're you calling a man, jock-strap?" Eva refuted.

"Easy, Roids O'Ragin" Duncan said. Courtney snickered at his remark. Tyler held before him not a bat but a huge, thick, powerful metal club that was thicker than his body all around and looked to weigh an impossible amount. However, in his hand, he weighed no more than a common stick and he was able to swing it as thus. Its power was obvious in its sheer, destructive form. Tyler gave it a good, high power baseball swing and heard crowds cheer in the windy gust that his giant mace threw.

"Oh, sweet, dude" Tyler said. He stowed his club magically into the back of his sleek suit and ran off once more with a pistol armed. He met up with his team shortly in the hub of the Blue base and joined Duncan's team with a quick nod.

"Everyone in position" Courtney said. "As soon as we're ready, we blow in and kill everyone!"

"You wish!" Gwen shouted. Courtney pressed her back hard to the wall and inched her way into the right hall, as determined by which hall the Blues guarded. Duncan and his team took the left hall, their right, which Owen stood in front of to block. "There won't be anything left of you when we're done, Courtney!"

"Says you, dye-job!" Courtney called.

"That's not your real hair!?" Izzy exclaimed.

"I'll take the crazy one" Harold said as he turned invisible and ran in. The attack was already on. Izzy sensed Harold yet again and spiked a grenade down from the rafters. The room was bright and ablaze with a rich, napalm-fueled fire. Harold reappeared right beside Courtney and nodded at her.

"""

"How'd he do that?" Courtney wondered. "I know he was invisible, but even I felt him going in there! Does he have some kind of hidden skill?"

"""

"A true Ninja" Harold said in an added confessional "does not reveal all his tricks at once. He does so only as they become necessary. I have learned, through battle, to project my presence around corners and down halls, et cetera, to fool the likes of Izzy and Heather, my hot rivals...I mean heated! Heated rivals!"

"""

Now the room, and Izzy's allies, were on fire, but they were unharmed. They just stood in the flames and waited for the attack to truly begin. Owen, however, was less patient than that. He silently signaled for Izzy to toss him one of her fireballs. She made the light toss and he caught it.

"What're you doing?" Gwen whispered above the hissing flames. Owen tossed down his gun and held the ball over his head.

"Trust me" he said. "This is going to rock..." Owen ran forward and burst the globe of flames over his head. It roared out in liquid, magma splashes and stained the walls of the hall he ran down. Duncan and his team retreated as a huge burning body rounded the corner and chased after them. "Hot stuff, coming through!!!" Owen roared. Eva heard him coming, threw down her gun and ran out from the hall to intercept him.

"No one touch him!" Duncan shouted. Eva stood and was stunned frozen for a moment when she saw Owen. Her tiny moment off guard was enough for Owen to attack and thereby ensure her death with a dashing body press technique that caused an explosion on contact. Eva was writhing in pain, covered in flames, and too far away for the attack to commence.

"Wait a sec" Tyler said. He stopped running, took out the handle of his super bat and swung so hard and powerfully that a huge, cheering wind blew through the hallways and the room, meeting in the intel room with a spiraling twister of fire picking up from the ever-burning floor. With his bat still drawn and scraping against the ceiling Tyler ran forward. All the fires around Owen were extinguished and Eva was likewise saved from the extinguishing wind he had blown. Tyler swung his bat into Owen and threw his huge body against the wall, creating a giant crater that shook the entire base. Owen was healed the moment he entered Gwen's sight.

"What was that!?" Gwen said. Izzy dropped down into the twisting fire wind and became consumed by them, a blazing entity holding an Uzi in one hand and a fire ax (on fire, ironically) in the other. She turned for the right hallway and chopped around the corner, nicking Courtney with a burning slash. She pulled herself around with a shrill roar and opened fire with a spray of bullets. Harold jumped in front of Eva, who DJ was quickly healing with his medigun, and blocked the bullets with his sword. Izzy ran out of bullets and immediately threw her gun, then turned as Harold blocked the impromptu attack onto Courtney, and killed her with a swift fire-powered chop through the neck.

Her berserk meter was already dangerously high from her mad display of power, prompting Noah, who had spawned himself a pair of shades to watch from under the bright light of the bright-orange flames, to record yet another dissertation of thought.

_Izzy is definitely worthy of being the most popular fighter on the program_ he admitted. _In such a culture, no, on such a show about fighting everyone values the psycho who neither knows honor or how to fight but still manages to outskill and outkill everyone she meets. She's got that quality, part Jason and part....Solid Snake that makes her a perfect killing machine. Add to that her naturally imbalanced personality and we get the formula for perpetual number one fighter by means of view vote...at least, that's the theory I'm working on. I'd be glad to be proved wrong in this. Honestly, the appeal is so cliché that, if she weren't on my team, I'd be unafraid to tell her so of my own free will..._

The fight continued with explosive displays of power all around....

* * *

Owen pried himself out of the wall, now healed by Gwen enough to continue fighting freely. Izzy still held her ax in the wall where Courtney's neck once blocked the straight path. She jerked it out and held it with a single hand and a villainous grin. Duncan caught sight of the hallway as he rushed back into battle and freely opened fire on the made girl. Izzy chopped her way up the wall and swung from her ax handle onto Harold.

"What a nice coincidence" Izzy said. "I've been hungry for dog **ALL DAY!!!**" Harold shrieked as she tore at his throat and ripped out a solid stretch of his trachea.

"""

"Does that mean to imply" Harold began "that Izzy has knowingly eaten dog before?"

"""

Izzy was berserk once more, but she was sane. The entity of murder within her had yet to reveal itself. Duncan, however, was deep within the throes of his own mad descent and attacked Izzy immediately with a switchblade dagger. Izzy blocked his stab attempts and lured him into the intel room. Cody's turret failed to register the signature beyond the still blazing center of the room.

"Time for necessary adjustments" Cody said. He took a fire extinguisher from the wall and started spraying diligently into the roaring orange blaze. Through it all the grunts of Duncan's swings and Izzy's cackle as she blocked him with her bare arms sounded over the constant hissing rush of white foam out of the nozzel of the fire extinguisher. Eventually the blaze was tamed and Izzy and Duncan continued fighitng in the middle of the room. Cody's turret finally clicked on and shot Duncan to death, leaving Izzy huffing loudly in a slouched position.

"Hot beans!" Owen shouted. He stomped into the room in perfect health. "Look who's back!" Izzy turned on him with a mad, bright whiteness in her eyes. Owen shrunk back and prepared to retreat. Izzy took a momentary control over her borderline berserk state and took the last ball of fire from her belt. This one was especially bright and easily added in its inherent danger. Izzy sighed and held the grenade over her head.

"Everyone step away" she said. "I'm going to give you enough time to get set up again, so take a position and stay in it!" Gwen and Owen retreated from the room and began fighting with Sadie and Katie who were guarding the far end of the room, near the exit of the spiraling walkway. Beth and Justin stepped out into the right hallway and started driving Eva away with close-range rocket blasts. Cody and Trent both ducked behind the desk. Lindsay ran into the corner behind the desk and guarded her front with her bat, just in case. Leshawna, staying firm and courageous even in the face of whatever Izzy was, stood in the opposite corner of the intel room to oversee her laid mines around the intel. Izzy positioned herself in the middle of the room and waited with closed eyes.

Eva brutishly powered her way through the soldier fire and killed both Beth and Justin with a kick and a punch respectively. Justin wasn't dead after his punch but his eye was black and he, being the kind of man he is, could not think of moving when he knew how badly his face had been defaced. Eva just stomped on his head as she stepped into the room with her gun spinning. She saw both Izzy standing vulnerable and Cody's turret beeping on her position.

"Now!" Eva commanded. With a spark of electricity Eva activated her ubercharge and began firing freely at Cody's turret. Leshawna threw down two grenades in front of her feet and detonated them, throwing Eva back against the wall behind her and stopping her attack for just a moment. Cody repaired his turret with as many quick taps as he could, giving it an extra few seconds of life before Eva could return. This time Izzy was gone, not that it mattered to her, and she destroyed the turret before turning sharply to take care of Leshawna. Now the grenades were gone as their planter had died.

"Do something!" Cody whispered to Trent.

"Nothing to do, man" Trent said. "Just hope Izzy's got a plan..." Eva fired at the desk where Trent and Cody were hiding. The bullets hit against the metal loudly and bulged out in sharp dents that threatened to pierce through with each loud metallic blast. Trent and Cody winced together, huddled tight under the desk, until the bullet storm stopped. Eva's gatling gun continued to spin around but no fire came from it and she was still invincible.

That's when Lindsay rushed out in a sonic dash and thrust her bat into Eva's face with super-fast speed. She didn't see Eva's bright red glow, and her bat bend itself into an unuseable shape upon her failed attempt at damage. "Oopsie" Lindsay said. Eva grabbed her by her waist and broke her with a single hand, killing her instantly, then threw her away.

"We're almost out" DJ said. "Quick, get Trent and Cody! They're behind the-"

"I know where they are!" Eva lowed. Owen had finally emerged victorious in his battle and he and Gwen joined up with the current fight, activating their ubercharge upon seeing Eva's still on. Owen barreled into Eva with a grunt and she slid back until she was stopped by the windowed wall of the room. Gwen and DJ glared at each other, initiating a sort of showdown where they both leaned into their healing more than the other to somehow get a better edge over the other. DJ's was nearly drained, but Gwen's was still full.

"Whatever Izzy's plan is" Gwen began "it better be a really good one."

"Banzai, dude!" Geoff shouted. He, Bridgette and Tyler had retreated fully from the fight initially and were just now returning from around the corner of the spawn room next to the strait staircase. There, pinched under the sliding metal door, was Heather who had been killed by Tyler's surprise bat attack the moment she spawned. "Let's rip this pig!!!"

"What?" Bridgette asked. "Try something more military, okay?"

"Oh" Geoff said. He gave it a second of thought and, upon immediately entering the battle behind Gwen, he crouched down and fired a rocket at Trent and Cody with a righteous shout of "**HOO-AH!!!**" Trent and Cody were both blown from behind their cover and into the open. Eva glowered at them from under Owen's clutch and shoved the fat man off. Her uber began to flicker away, as well as DJ's, but Owen was still glowing strong. Eva charged at Trent and Cody. Trent rolled over the desk and slid on his back across the floor to get behind Gwen and aimed at DJ's head through her legs. Cody, however, just cowered in the corner and let Eva kill him before Owen overtook her again.

"""

"All the classes and lectures in the world" Cody began "may not make me any braver, but they will help me understand what I can do to circumvent bravery. Like, say, building a better turret or having the tenacity to try and escape once in a while! If I can become brave enough to run away from trouble, most of my high-school troubles might not have happened!"

"""

* * *

It finally happened. Something in the mechanics of the game snapped, a switch was flipped, an event occurred, and Eva went full-out berserk, adapting no personality but the intense want to slaughter and destroy. She huffed madly and kicked the metal desk holding intel with her powerful leg. It hopped across the floor, landed on Trent and killed him as it continued on into the wall. Now she was vulnerable again. Owen and Gwen remained invincible.

"Head's up!" Geoff shouted. Gwen, distracted in her duteous healing, had failed all along to recognize the soldier behind her and was suddenly blinded by a scrap of cloth tied around her eyes from Geoff's shirt. Her medi-gun auto-fired randomly and failed to connect with Owen.

"Dammit!" Gwen exclaimed. "What happened? Who's there!?" Geoff tried kicking her in the rear but she was invincible and all that force doubled back onto him, forcing his kick back into his own foot. He clutched his injured foot and hopped. Gwen blindly kicked behind her while staying ubercharged and nailed Geoff right between the legs. She pulled off the blindfold and glowered back at him, still invincible. Her medigun continued to keep her from harm while she beat down Geoff with her stomping, angry foot. Her berserk meter began to slowly fill as she beat him down with the sharp heel of her Gothic stiletto.

Then Eva came up from behind, stole her medigun and threw it away. Now vulnerable, Gwen drew out her saw in an attempt to defend herself. Eva grabbed her by the neck and by her gartered hips, rose her up above her head and broke her in two like a stick. Geoff and Bridgette stared at the gory death in both awe and disgust.

"""

"It's definitely a lot scarier" Bridgette began "seeing something like that happen that close to you. It's different if you just see something sick on TV, but just a few feet away from you where you can hear the sounds so clearly...it's a bit...."

"""

and passive, peaceful Bridgette puked against the wall. Berserk, hot-breathed Eva threw down the pieces of Gwen's body and started breathing heavily. Geoff gets himself up slight enough to give her a thumb up with as much of a wincing grin as he can bring to his face.

"Wait a second" Bridgette said. "Where's Tyler?"

"He should be around, right?" DJ said as he rejoined the group, subduing Eva with his healing stream.

"He probably ran off" Eva growled. "Let's get the intel and hoof it out of here already!"

"Where is it?" Geoff asked. Eva picked up the desk with minimal effort and revealed Trent's dead body underneath. Bridgette looked away and even Geoff closed and eye and turned from the mess his body became. Eva picked up the intel and shook the blood off of it. She didn't sling it over back immediately, however. She looked around cautiously for signs of any straggling fighters to threaten her and her team.

"Alright" Eva said. "Let's get together here and get moving. If Tyler shows up, we'll just pass it to him and-" All sound stopped right there for the team was too shocked and frightened by what happened. Izzy leaped down onto Eva's shoulders and hooked her legs around her neck with her last fiery globe clutched in her hand. DJ froze up in fear. Bridgette and Geoff winced back in shock. Eva's last conscious action was the swing of her arm to throw the intel, and then Izzy did it.

"Farewell, world!" she said. The globe burst and **blazing-hot molten rock exploded out, melting the walls and the steel ceiling and the bodies beneath it instantaneously. **The intel was saved by the final swing of Eva's arm but the lava continued to spread from the melting bodies. Geoff was melted in half and did his best to fight through the pain and push the intel away before it too was melted. Then, serendipitously, Tyler came around the corner and scooped up the intel with a brave salute to the dying Geoff.

"Godspeed, dude!" Geoff said as he died.

"""

"I knew something was up" Tyler admitted "when I didn't see Izzy nowhere in that last fight. If she were around she would of at least tried to fight off Eva, y'know, even if Eva was invincible, to save Owen. Or if she was really berserk she woulda killed all of us like, twice! I stayed safe, since I'm the fastest, and waited until I knew Izzy was dead before I tried to make a move. I guess I'm just too smart for her, right?"

"""

Of course his plan had only a single flaw: the lava had heated the metal surface of the intel briefcase up incredibly and it was singing his skin to hold onto for too long. Tyler made a mad dash from the base, tossing the intel from hand to hand while blowing on it as he panted to try and cool it down. The run was flawless. He reentered his base with no resistance and planted the intel, resting his burning hot hands on the cold metal surface of his intel desk while catching his breath. Zeke was sitting in the chair and swiveled it in a circle to catch Tyler's attention.

"What'd I mess, eh?" Zeke asked. Tyler was so exhausted that he had no words to say, but the first that formed manifested themselves in an act rather than actual words. He showed Zeke his burnt palm and then went to hug his dispenser while still panting hard. "Hmm. Looks like it hurts. Glad I was here the whole time, eh?" Zeke said. Tyler scowled at Zeke's innocence and flipped him off discretely, meaning no real offense beyond vindicating his own angry pain...

The confession was on Owen for the capture. The score was tied now at 7-7

"""

"Alright" Owen began, "now this is embarrassing for me, personally. So, this one time, my brothers and I all entered a hot-dog eating competition at a fair. One, it was awesome!!! Two, we had a combined amount of hot dogs that beat every national record, including Japan, for any single-sitting competition's combined number of dogs downed. Me and my brother Nathan tied, so they had us square off by eating from the same four-foot long kielbasa. Whoever ate more of it would win the whole thing. Me and Nathan had the same strategy, though, and what's worse he's the family show off. He started eating without his hands while I was guiding it into my mouth, but he was eating faster than me. So I did the same thing. Anyway, you ever see _Lady and the Tramp_? It was a total accident, and everyone laughed for, like, an hour about it, but that's about how it ended....oh yeah, and we ended up sharing the trophy too since the judges thought we both deserved to win for our "performance". Me and Nathan had to live that down for a while, I'll tell you what! Hahaa!"

"""

* * *

The first back on the Red team were Courtney and Harold, respawning coincidentally in the same room of the ramparts spawn. They exited, checked their weapons, and caught each other in the act of privately planning.

"Let me guess" Harold slyly began. "Another all-out rush while they rebuild their defenses?"

"No!" Courtney exclaimed. "We need to be on the guard from now on. Who knows what kind of retaliation they've already managed to plan out?"

"Oh, come on!" Harold exclaimed in protest. "Now's the time to attack! Most of them are still dead, and by the time they respawn we could have gone in and out with their intel! We need to get everyone rushing as soon as they come to life, lead an unending battery against the Blue's defenses before they get a chance to set up another failproof plan again!"

"Are you saying I'm incapable of outplanning them?" Courtney insinuated. "Maybe Noah had the often step ahead of me, but my plans are hardly failures. We just get cluttered and are forced to compensate the holes in our plan with raw strength, and that almost always overpowers the inherent complexities of the plans I try to follow through with!"

"You can't blame this on your team, Courtney" Harold said. "Maybe you should't be our only leader anymore. After all, I'm an MVP with the most actual V right now! I can take down both Heather and Izzy where the best you can do is get into a standoff with Trent out in the open!"

"I've killed for a lot less than that, Harold" Courtney warned as she drew her blade. Harold flicked her wrist with a quick snap of his hand and stole her melee weapon with barely any effort at all.

"You'd need a really good reason" Harold lowed "to actually try to kill me, Courtney." Harold threw her her weapon again and turned around, dividing his team between himself and Courtney in that instant. Harold was the first to occupy the radio waves and called for a rally. "Attention Red team. We are going on a constant offense as of now, led by me! Anyone who wants to sit around and pick their noses on defense is more than welcome to join Courtney!" Zeke stopped picking his nose at Harold's remark and hid his hand back into his coat pockets.

"We're in, Harold!" Katie called on behalf of herself and Sadie, her other half.

"Oh, I'm definitely coming too!" Tyler said. "Right as soon as the skin regrows on my palms. Ah, wait dude, it's back! Awesome! I'm in the game again!"

"""

"And it's extra leathery!" Tyler said, poking at his thick, regrown skin. "I've got, like, naturally padded hands now! I can probably catch a hundred-kiometer-an-hour flyball with my bare skin and pitch it right back since it's so thick and padded man! I could hold onto a bat and it'd never slip out of my hands!"

"""

"Move out on your own" Harold said. "I'm going for the straightest route across the bridge. Wish me luck."

"Break a leg, Harold!" Katie cheered.

"Wait" Sadie called in addendum, "isn't that bad luck?"

"No" Katie corrected. "You yell that out because it's bad luck to say 'good luck', duh!"

"Yeah" Sadie said "but that's in theater! What do you say in a war?"

"Uh" Katie cluelessly grunted. "I don't know!"

"Don't break a leg, Harold!" Sadie called.

"As long as it's not yours!" Katie added. Harold landed down onto the bridge and began a straight dash. He heard a bullet whiz past him and unsheathed his sword. He didn't hear where or when the bullet was fired from, so he automatically assumed it to be Trent. Courtney rushed out to her battlements and caught Trent with his silenced sniper rifle trying desperately to pick Harold off. Harold immediately turned invisible as he dodged another bullet, leaving Trent without a target as the unknowing target of another's scope.

"Red Team" Courtney called "do whatever you want. Attack with Harold or stay at base with me. Either way we're doing fine. It's a tie right now, so be on the look out for enemies in the base. If you can't fight them then at least inform your team and try to lead them to someone that can kill them. Stay safe, alive, and always keep someone in the intel room. That's all I need to say, I hope." Courtney took her shot and killed Trent without revealing herself. Now confident enough to defend from her position she took her place in the still damaged sniping shack along her battlements and waited to intercept the first movement she spotted from the Blue base. She scanned right and was shot at from the left, three quick bullets in a burst were shot from the opposite end of the Blue battlements.

Lindsay checked her ammo in her gun. Her pistol had been modded somehow into a tactical three-shot burst pistol complete with a recoil-dampening underarm grip and a fold-up red-dot sight on top of the actual gun. She had engaged Courtney in a long-range battle while her team-mates moved into position within her base to assist her. The Blue team's defense had become more stretched out through their open space with Cody and Leshawna still in the same intel room as always.

Sadie and Katie took the sewers to accomplish their task and join Harold, but mid-way they met with difficulties. Justin was guarding the entire area directly underneath the bridge with his laser-guided rocket launcher and he had the girls pinned. Along with his normal guns he had a belt of regular pull-pin fragmentation grenades around his exposed chest. The girls were under a constant assault of his good looks, his augmented weapons and when they tried to fight from around the pipe corner, his strong arm lobbing grenades at them. Katie kept herself healed with the medkit bottle that spawned nearby and Sadie was healed with her medigun.

"Stupid, handsome devil!" Sadie exclaimed.

"We can do it, Sadie!" Katie said. "Just concentrate away from his face. Fire....at his shadow! We can still kill him with splash damage!"

"Right!" Sadie agreed. They popped out to attack again. Justin was in the middle of reloading and off guard when the girls attacked, but the rockets weren't launched. Sadie was frozen up aiming at the shadow behind him because it was just too darn hot to shoot at.

"What're you doing!?" Katie shouted. Sadie gasped and fired on reflex. Justin loaded his launcher and dodged out of the way. Sadie and Katie retreated before he could fire back, but he still grinned with a sense of victory for his defense was maintained.

"I couldn't do it!" Sadie shouted in disappointment and rage. "I couldn't kill him because he's too hot!"

"It's okay" Katie said, comforting her friend. "I wouldn't be able to kill him either...." They heard, from outside, the bursts of a distant gun fire and then the launching of rockets that soon exploded in the grassy pit. Then the rocket blasts changed to shotgun blasts, some louder and more rapid than the others, and then there was silence. A rapid running on the metal of the sewer tunnels followed and Tyler appeared to the girls with some damage in his health visible.

"Come on you two!" he said. "Let's get this party going!"

"Right!" Sadie said. Katie gave Tyler a quick heal and he was off with them following as quick as they could from behind. Sadie walked over Justin's body, which was turned and dead on its stomach, in a self-satisfied act to give her a return of confidence.

"""

"He came out of nowhere!" Justin said. "I know he's not exactly a stand-out kind of guy. He's pretty much average, but since when did middle-level lookers get the ability to just disappear at will? Is that what makes Harold such a great spy?"

"""

* * *

Chris watched through all of the fights and battles and even the minor scuffles that went along with this war, his smirk never leaving and the cocked curve of his brows ever present. He leaned back in his control chair with his feet up on an empty spot of the long console of buttons while watching the monitor wall intently.

"I guess I've been a bit hard on the kids lately" Chris said. "Maybe I should throw out that last, really huge surprise to encourage them to finish up the game. It's getting near dinner, after all. One last capture before that would be great." Chris reached for the button to transfer his own arrogantly beautiful voice into the game world when, suddenly, his action was interrupted from behind by the arrival of an intern.

"Coffee, Mr. McClean?" the intern asked. Chris quickly winced in surprise and cautiously turned around. He noticed that there were two cups of coffee on the tray the innocent kid brought, then he noticed that the kid, taller than him, had a five o'clock shadow and was structurally much thicker and well-built than any intern he remembered hiring. Chris stood up and took the young man in a grip of his arm.

"Take a look, will ya?" Chris said, motioning his free arm to the wall of monitors while his other arm snaked its way off the man's back and to the coffees. "This is the life isn't it? These kids do all the work, run around for hour after hour, enduring mind-bending trauma after trauma and we rake in all the cash flow. Well, by 'we', I mean 'me'! These kid's would be lucky to be on some community-college commercial, let alone get to enroll in any community college! Ain't it ironic how stardom works? The host gets all the credit and power and the biggest cut of the funds." Chris stepped back and the young man nodded, holding out a coffee to Chris which he took gingerly in his hand.

"To power, sir" the young man said, raising the other cup in a toast.

"To power" Chris said. They toasted cups and sipped very slowly of the hot liquids, then smiled at each other for a length of time. The intern's eyes rolled up and he fell over, his coffee pouring onto the metal floors around him, his face devoid of life and his tongue hanging out. Chris bent over to try and gauge a sign of life from him. Then he kicked him. The man grumbled in protest unconsciously, then went back to sleep.

"Psh!" Chris scoffed. "What an amateur attempt. How could an intern drug me when we cast them all out to sea days ago? Still, this means they're getting desperate to shut me down. I need to get this game going on for real if I want to keep my job, and possibly, my life!" Chris hopped back into his chair, flipped a switch and all the screens lit up either black or red to read 'Final Execution:' Chris entered his password, 'McClean#1baby', and flipped a final switch before activating the game's PA.

"The score is 7-7" Chris said "and both teams seem to be on a defensive stand-off? Will the Blue's hold on to what they have while sending their elite fighters out on the offense, or will the Red's unending offense lead to the ultimate victory? Well, let's not consider either one. What if, instead, the soldiers diligently fighting in their war had their **whole world turned totally topsy-turvy?** Let's find out! This is, I'm glad to say, the final major twist of the game!!! As of now, we are implementing _**'The Honor Dueling Code!!!'**_" The reaction was mixed.

"Honor dueling?" Gwen said.

"_Honor_ dueling?" Heather said.

"Honor _Dueling?_" Harold said.

"Code?" Cody said.

"Topsy-turvy?" Zeke said.

"Final twist!?" Courtney happily said.

"What the hell...?" Eva said in a rather oblivious tone.

"French _fries?_" Izzy seemed to ask to no one in particular.

_Oh damn_ Noah recorded. _I saw this code when I was hacking the game to start the bridge battle. This is going to get complicated....

* * *

What is this Honor Dueling Code and why is Noah so wary about it? Will it really change the game for good? Will Noah's presence finally be discovered? Will the Producers manage to silence Chris before it's too late? What's going to be for supper? Find out most of this next time on __Total Drama Team Fortress!!!_


	66. 2Fort GAME OVER

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

"_These are the rules for the Honor Dueling Mode!" _Chris began with his usual pompous flair of a voice. _"Any two people, regardless of class, on opposing teams, within eyesight, can call the other out in a one-on-one fight to the death while staking any terms imaginable on the victory. Those two fighters will be locked in heated, private battle. They won't be injured by anyone but the person they're fighting, and the battle will only end if someone surrenders or dies and submits to the condition of loss agreed upon when the conflict begins. Likewise, to prevent anyone from running around invincible for no reason, the challenge parameters will only be in effect if both persons in the duel are within eyesight of each other, given a few possible exceptions. If a spy turns invisible they will remain in the duel with the aura around them gone, but if they retreat around a corner or for more than twenty meters from the other dueler, the duel will be called off and neither will win or lose. Further, in a long-range battle, the challenge must be called audibly and without a radio command so that either person can hear the other. If the challenge isn't heard it can't be accepted. Any term, including the instant capture of the enemy intel or the death of more than one team member, is permitted as a condition upon loss. Revoking the powers of MVPs will last up to their respawn, and invoking an instant berserk will take effect as soon as the challenge is won. The only thing that can't be bet is an instant victory in the game overall."_

"Damn" Courtney said quietly. "There goes that plan. Still, I can easily get the advantage by staking my MVP for a life against Izzy or Gwen. I don't even have to challenge them directly and I'll get a kill out of it regardless!"

Harold, Tyler, Sadie and Katie made the brave offensive charge on the Blue's defense which was stacked strong but few. Owen stood in the corner opposite the intel with a dispenser behind him. Heather was behind the desk, glancing between both hallways for signs of movement. Justin covered Cody who had his sentry built in the middle of the room which he turned and controlled manually from the back with two joysticks in his hands. Leshawna had the room covered in mines and had her back pressed against the corner. The Red team stopped outside the intel room and planned their moves.

"Alright" Harold began, "Sadie and Katie and I will charge in and do as much damage as possible. There's no telling what's in there until I go in and scout. Tyler, once we've got everyone distracted, you run in and grab the intel. Then we'll retreat and cover you. As long as we can get it out in the open someone on our team can pick it up or call a duel to claim it."

"Will we be doing the duels too?" Tyler asked.

"I'll try" Harold said. "I'm pretty sure it works on accept or decline, but I can't be totally positive. Depending on who's in there I'll be sure to make a challenge and at least prolong the battle for some of us."

"Right" Sadie said. "And we'll blast everything apart!"

"If you can" Harold said. "It's not a race. If we rush with it we'll probably end up dying."

"And if you're too slow" Heather said "you'll end up dead too!" She appeared out of her invisibility cloak and swung her sword in a wide arc to spread them out. "Harold! I challenge you to a Duel!" A Blue field surrounded them both and linked together on a narrow path. Tyler was pushed away from it and palmed it like and invisible wall holding him back. "The condition: If I win you MVP status is revoked for one full life. If I lose, my MVP status is revoked for one full life."

"Deal" Harold said, drawing his sword. "Let the duel begin!" They stepped in and swung at each other. Tyler tried shooting at Heather but his bullets were stopped by the blue field in mid-air and fell to the floor.

"Cool!" Tyler said. "Alright Harold, you deal with her. We'll go in first!"

"No!" Harold cried, trying to stop them. "It's too dangerous to go alone!"

"Chill!" Tyler said. "I'm sure reinforcements are on their way already! Now let's do this! CHAAARGE!!!" Tyler ran straight into the hall followed by Sadie and Katie. Cody's turret beeped and followed Tyler around as he made a sprint for the desk. The turret couldn't get its mark and Tyler managed to scoop up the intel just as Owen opened fire on him.

"I got it!" Leshawna called. She waited for Tyler to run over a mine and blew the floor, killing him instantly, while Justin and Owen turned their focus on the team shooting down Cody's turret. Leshawna fired a few grenades down the hall in the attempt to flush the two out and finish them off. Heather was thrown back by Harold's attack, blocking Katie and Sadie from their speedy retreat and forcing them to fall back on top of Leshawna's rolling grenade. They both died, and the attack failed with the intel safely resting in the middle of the floor.

"Nicely done, Leshawna" Justin said. "You were right, spreading the mines out is the best idea."

"Well, yeah" Leshawna proudly said. "If the explosion itself wouldn't get him the splash damage would. That guy's just too unlucky to walk into our base when I'm on guard."

"Oh, great modesty" Heather sarcastically quipped. She and Harold moved through the room, surrounded by their field of challenge, in the thick of their duel. Harold pressed on her with his constant attacks, forcing her to defend as much as possible. She gained a good distance by backflipping away and tossed a handful of knives at him. Harold deflected the knives which disappeared as soon as they hit the edge of the dueling field.

"Nice try" Harold said. He took out his own knives, did a foreflip and tossed them as his arm swung back up. The super-speed was undogable and Heather was hit. Harold charged in and stabbed through her, stunning her, then grabbed her head and snapped her neck for the final kill, then took his sword from her and turned invisible before Cody's turret could hone in on him.

"""

Heather fit the traditional spy mask over her face and tied her hair in a ponytail behind her head. Her garb now was the traditional Blue-colored spy suit with a black tie and mask. She took out a cigarette and put it in her grinning mouth. "Oh, whatever" she said. "Playing this game seemed like a huge let-down at first, since I wouldn't be able to get all the attention focused on me, but as long as I win I feel like it's all worth it. I think, through this all, I've somehow changed. I've become a better person by killing off everyone that's ever really annoyed me at least once....okay, that sounds kind of bad, but I swear, that's how I feel. And it's great!"

"""

"Keep your eyes open!" Leshawna called. "He could spring up anytime, anywhere, and kill any one of us!"

"My money says he'll go for Cody first" Justin said. Cody winced and kept his back to his turret with his wrench armed and swinging randomly.

"He's got to sap the turret to make it out alive" Owen said. "He's probably going to reappear near there!" Owen spun up his gatling gun and started spray-firing in a sweep across the room, covering it with a constant stream of bullets. Then he turned to the rafters where his bullets pinged and hit against the metal without finding a solid target. Harold hid outside of the room and sighed as he began his retreat. He ran to the end of the hall and then suddenly collapsed in death as a wrench hit him over the head...

"He could be out of the room" Justin said. "We can never predict what he tries to do."

"I've got the floor covered" Leshawna said as she reloaded her mine gun. "Now what do we do?"

"Repair, recover and stay on guard" Cody said. "That's what we should do."

"No" Noah said. "What you _should_ do is reposition the turret more strategically and get the offense classes out into battle." All heads turned. Once he was spotted by his team mates he was caught on camera as well. Fresh from his prison, shirtless and battle-scarred, stood Noah with a wrench in one hand and a hax gun on his belt. His team was as equally surprised as they were horrified by his sudden entrance and no one had the nerve or thinking power to say anything.

_Oh yes_ Noah mentally recorded. _I'm certainly back, aren't I?_

_

* * *

_On the other side of the field, unaware of Noah's surprise return, forces were gearing up to charge. From the battlements Eva jumped down, right under the glowing pathway between Courtney and Trent, locked in a duel for temporary control over the access of their base ground levels. If Trent won, the ground level doors would be bared from passing by anyone not of his team. The same went for Courtney, who would effectively half the amount of patrol and defense needed by her team to keep their base locked down. Eva, however, was not a part of that conflict. She charged alone across the bridge and dodged sudden rocket fire from the Blue base right up to its entrance. She rounded the corner and ran Beth down, ramming her into the wall with her shoulder and blowing her up on contact.

"""

"I've heard of having 'dynamite' muscles" Beth said "but I think Eva is taking things way too far."

"""

Eva continued running and went straight into the ramparts where she met with Izzy, who stood in plain sight with her flamethrower equipped and leering, scheming grin of evil over her face. She pulled down her hockey mask and blew a loud, rushing stream of fire Eva's way. The Heavy girl jumped back and then dodged to the side and slammed into the wall to avoid the hot death. Izzy kept her at bay while being healed by Gwen up on the rampart second level by the door leading to the straight staircase.

"Hey Gwen!" Cody called.

"What?" she replied. "We under attack? You need back up?"

"Noah's back!" he exclaimed.

"Oh is he?" Gwen asked skeptically.

"Of course he is" Noah said. Gwen was instantly dumbfounded and stopped healing for a second.

"Uh, Gwen?" Izzy called. Her ammo suddenly ran out and a fight was started. Eva had circled around and was now charging from the long, narrow hallway with her shoulders rolled forward. Izzy drew out her Uzi and sprayed fire just before dodging out of the way, sending Eva into the wall with a smash. "Little help please!?"

"Noah!?" Gwen exclaimed. "Where'd you go?"

"Noah's back?" Izzy said, dodging Eva's furious punches. "Is he gonna help me?" She continued fighting with her fire ax as her team celebrated Noah's return in a calm but enthusiastic manner, welcoming him back over the radio and in person, ignoring the encroaching Red forces just outside.

"Hey guys" Trent began, "I might not last up here. Can someone bail me out in case I lose and defend the ground level?"

"I'm on it" Owen said. "I'll be up at the courtyard in...a little while. There's a lot of gravity up that way I have to fight."

"Don't get to comfortable with me" Noah said. "The second I die I'm going to get kicked out of the game, and the show, for good."

"Well that sucks" Cody said, suddenly sullen.

"I have a feeling things are going to get worse in just a few minutes." Noah said. Almost on cue, across the field of play, a chain-link fence was torn apart and a heavy being fell onto the field with a cardboard-cutout cow held across his shoulders. He broke the cow in two with a 'moo' and threw it to the ground. It was Chef, the representative Commander-Master Chief of the Red team, wielding the most powerful and menacing looking equipment possible to be programmed into the game world. He snarled and put two fingers to his mouth to whistle loud and clear through the entire map, even into the reaches of the undergrounds of each base.

"NOAH!!!" he shouted, his voice going to every ear. "I'M CALLING YOU OUT!!!" Noah was marked with a challenge icon of two boxing gloves meeting in a punch. Noah sighed and started off on his own.

"Wait!" Cody exclaimed. "Wait, what are you doing!? Just decline! Decline!!!"

"That's a loss" Noah said. "He's got the programming of the entire game on his side. He could kill me with a quick command entry on a keyboard, but he's in here to give me the benefit of a doubtful chance. He can teleport, pass through walls, whatever he wants, just like me."

"But can you win?" Cody asked.

"Of course I can" Noah said. "No game is designed not to be won on the market. I'll probably not win if he calls me on my fighting skills, but that's different." Noah looked up to the icon and pressed it, confirming the challenge, and was surrounded by a Red glow and Chef's angry face as an icon.

"Meet me on the bridge!" the icon shouted, a direct communication to his dueling enemy. "Melee weapons only! The loser is booted from the game!"

"Alright" Noah said. He tapped his wrench on his shoulder and sighed in boredom as he walked away.

"But you just got here....." Cody said in dejection. "It's not fair...." In the slightly brighter base of the Red team, Duncan had abandoned his post of defense in the intel room just in time to reemerge at the battlements and watch as Chef rolled his head and cracked his neck like thunder in the valley of the field. Courtney won her duel just in time to join Duncan and watch the beginning of what would be the game-turning Duel.

"""

"What an ironic comeback!" Courtney exclaimed. "The second he's back, the moment he's alive and out comes the 'war hero' himself to destroy him! That's got to hurt his pride as a leader, being called up to die just as his team reunites with him! HA!"

"""

"This is gonna get good" Chef said. He drew out a short baton and clicked it on. Now he held **A LIGHTSABER!!!** He stabbed the tip into the ground and sliced a clean and hot spark of burnt dirt out onto the bridge. The roof of the metal construct began to retract and only the flat walkway of the bridge was left. No rails to hold on to, or protect either fighter from falling, just the surface to fight upon. And when the burnt dust settled Chef could see his opponent coming out from the sealed base, hopping down from the battlements without taking injury, and their fields met. "First one to die loses!"

"Obviously" Noah said with a flick of his wrist and a twirl of his wrench. Everyone was moving to watch, except for Heather who respawned as a regular spy and made her way through the sewers with Lindsay, both of whom were going for the intel. Eva continued to fight her way through the Blue base and to its defenses which had just been uprooted after she managed to berserk and slay Izzy.

The whole valley stood still. A calm breeze blew through the fences and across the bridge, carrying a mysterious tumbleweed with it. Chef held his lightsaber tight and ground his feet against the dirt, prepared to charge, while Noah just stared ahead with his wrench on his shoulder. The stand-off was breathtaking, as many of the spectators had held their breath for it to start. Suddenly, like a blast of dynamite or a shaking tremor, Chef started running forward. His growling voice was like an engine roaring itself out of idle and into full throttle! His muscles took the density and frame of hard rock! He was the Master Chief, Commander and Conqueror, charging in to eliminate his final adversary with a heroic battle-cry!

Noah drew his gun and shot a train car at him, killing him instantly and slamming the huge object into the front of the Red base. Duncan and Courtney were thrown back by its impact. The whole audience was in shock as Noah stowed his weapon at his side again, his awesome programmer's modding gun.

"Technically" Noah said "you just challenged me. Melee weapons only came after I accepted the challenge, and is therefore moot. I win." And that was it. Noah had won his right to remain in the game and walked back into his base, right into the ground level with a slow and casual walk.

"""

"Well" Gwen began, "that was.....interesting. I wonder what Chef, or Chris, is going to do now...."

"""

* * *

Out of the game, in the control panel room, Chris was locked in a deadly struggle. A burly man with a coat hangar in one hand and a length of piano wire in the other, was squared off against the karate-imitation technique of stylish Chris McClean. The man charged and swung his coat hangar, trying to strike and painfully scrape Chris' skin. Chris dodged out of the way and jumped back with a half-hearted cartwheel to the wall where a fire-extinguisher hung. He picked it up and sprayed the man with the fast white foam, knocking him back and over the slippery steel floor.

"Hah!" Chris laughed. "You don't make much of a hitman. I guess your a little 'fire-retardant'! Ha!"

"Ah, shut up!" the man shouted. He threw the hangar at Chris and hit his hand with a sharp but overall ineffectual pang of pain. Still, he dropped the canister to the floor and cradled his injured wrist in the palm of his hand, wincing at the pain. The man stomped up and got behind Chris where he began to choke his throat. Chris relaxed just enough to take a breath in and jam his finger up between the wire and his skin. "Come on, pretty boy! Die already!"

"You don't consider this a bit...extreme?" Chris strained to say. The man pushed up against him and tightened his grip.

"I've got a contract you take you out!" he bellowed. "Whatever it takes, I'm making sure your ass starts fertilizing grass!"

"Okay" Chris began, "first off, whoever green-lit that line sucks. Second, this is breaking more laws than I am! You don't kill a guy who's just trying to keep his job!"

"Wait" the man said. He released Chris and let him fall gasping onto his hands and knees. "Wait a sec, I think I'm missing something. You're trying to keep your job? I thought you were trying to screw over some big-shot's company or something. That's what they told me."

"You heard wrong, dude" Chris said as he stood up. He coughed and rubbed his throat. "So very, very wrong. I'm Chris McClean, host of the reality shows 'Total Drama Island' and the current spin-off, 'Total Drama Team Fortress'. The network producer is trying to nix me because I _somewhat_ broke international laws by taking these kids into this game against their will and fleeing to America to do it. It's all messed up, too. After I got rid of all my interns, there was no one to clear all the paperwork that I had held over, so the articles declaring their willful participation carrying over from last season's contracts were MIA, and I got hit with the blame for it all!" The man stared blankly. Clearly he wasn't one to easily understand the more detailed aspects of network management and show hosting, so Chris gave up explaining and took what he could.

"Can I see that contract of yours?" Chris asked. The man obliged and gave him a laminated piece of paper from inside his pocket. Chris unrolled it and read over it carefully, nodding at what struck him as important. "Yeah, here's the problem. You're not here for a hit."

"I'm not?" the man said. "It said to 'take you out' though. That's clearly hitman code."

"No" Chris said. "See? It says to 'take him out of the immediate proximity of the participants and equipment to guide and control the game world'. They wanted you to force me out of here so they could shut the show down."

"Oh" the man said. "I stopped reading after 'proximity'. I didn't want to look up what it meant." Chris raised a skeptical brow at the man. "Hey, don't judge me! I'm a bounty hunter, alright? Listen, I get that I screwed up, but I don't want to have to work at the car dealership anymore if I can help it. I need this bounty hunting gig to actually take off, so I'm gonna take you in anyway."

"I've got tenure here, buddy" Chris said. "And plus, you just assaulted me on camera!"

"I did!?" the man exclaimed.

"Oh yeah" Chris said. "It's a reality TV show, pal. There's camera's everywhere." Chris pointed to the one camera watching them that locked in on the man and zoomed into his stubble. He backed away covering his face as Chris shook his head. "If you want to keep your liscence to hunt, or whatever, you should read you contracts very carefully next time. Contracts can make or break any man's credibility in his job. Though mostly, they tend to break things when they're broken."

"Damn!" the man said. He turned full around and covered his face. "I can't be seen like this! The guys at the club will laugh me right out the door! NOOO!!!" Chris took the opportunity to silence his stupid adversary with a wild swing and clang of the fire extinguisher to the back of his head. Then, with a sigh, he propped the man against the exit door and opened it with the press of a button, sending him toppling down a flight of stairs that spiraled in a square down a least three full stories into a concrete parking lot. Chris slammed the door shut with another button press and locked it down.

"Okay" Chris began, "this is getting dangerous. If the producers are resorting to calling in local bounty hunters to clear me out the police, or worse yet the military, is only a stone's-throw away. Huh......quite a pickle. I'd better play it safe and get running. The kids can thank me when they're not in prison for illegally crossing United State's borders after I bring them back to life in Canada." Chris raced to the controls and started searching through file after file for the proper procedure program aptly named 'Emergency_exit'. He double-clicked it, started running the preliminary game shut-down code and was prompted as it paused with a warning screen. 'Closing the VR program while game is running will shut down the server and boot the players into a 'blank world'. This may cause more problems than intended. Proceed anyway?' Chris had no time to think. He looked outside on one of the monitors and saw police vehicles pulling up. Out of panic, he clicked 'Proceed' and the game was canceled.

All at once the players were evacuated from the canceled server, leaving a delay of gross lagging behind for everyone to maladjust to. Eva was the first to realize something was wrong. She was in the Blue base, staring down a turret that wasn't firing at her, and she was completely unable to pick up the intel. It wasn't even there to interact with, even though she could see it.

"What's going on now!?" Eva growled. "Who screwed up this time!?" The next to notice was Cody, who had left his position as soon as Noah won to congratulate him. He saw Noah standing across from his train-wreck attack, cool and poised, with his normal skeptical view. Still, he tried to interact with him.

"Man, Noah, you're pretty cool" Cody said. "I mean, I knew you were awesome the whole time, and I believed in you, yeah. This just proves that what I thought all along was right after all." Cody waited for a response, positive or otherwise to his sucking up, but he saw that Noah was not moving. "Noah? You there man?" He waved his hand in front of Noah's face and poked at him. His avatar remained but it wasn't active, and Cody's hand passed right through it. "What is this? Did he leave again?" Cody then vanished in a blink. Each soldier was forced to interact with the environment and world that didn't respond to them. They couldn't reload, some couldn't even fire, but they still ran around hopeless and lost, waiting for something to happen, unaware that **the game was suddenly over....**

* * *

In an all-black void with an infinite flat floor, Izzy appeared and looked around in utter confusion.

"Huh" Izzy began. "I guess I'm super-dead now. May as well walk around and see what this place has." She hummed as she strolled and walked around in aimless patterns and winding directions until Trent spawned as well.

"What happened?" Trent wondered. "Where am I? Am I alive yet?"

"Hi Trent!" Izzy shouted. "Welcome to Hell!"

"What?" Trent asked. "Hell!? What is this?"

"Looks like we're both super-dead" Izzy said. "Maybe we lost all our lives, or something."

"Lost our lives?" Trent said in exasperation.

"Well, we couldn't have infinite lives" Izzy said. "I mean, that'd just be absurd. If that were the case there'd be no way for any game to ever end, and everything has to end, and since it makes the most sense for a game to end when all your lives are gone that must be what happened to us." Izzy took in a deep breath and swaggered down to her knees with a sudden gale of laughter. "Woah! I got headrush from that! Hahaha!"

"This isn't right" Trent said. "The game must have broken somehow. I'm going to try and contact the team." Trent turned away from Izzy and began placing a call. Suddenly he saw Duncan, who appeared out of thin air, and instinctively he lined up a shot. His sniper-rifle wasn't working. It was out of ammo and he was unable to reload it. He reached for anything else, any of his other weapons, but found nothing. Fortunately, a weapon was nearby for him to use. "Izzy, attack Duncan!" Izzy looked over and saw Duncan, who had just turned to see the both of them with a start. She started growling and jumped in front of Trent with her teeth flashing and her back arched like a feral cat.

"Oh, damn" Duncan lowed. Izzy's growling slowed like a down-shifted engine until it stopped and she stood up with a yawn.

"Sorry" Izzy said. "I'm not in the mood right now."

"What'dyou mean!?" Trent said in a panic. "This isn't the time to consider things! There's the enemy! Do your regular leaping, bounding, random unpredictable unarmed attack stuff!"

"Nah" Izzy said. She sat down and curled herself up into a comfortable ball. "It's nap time. G'night!"

"But Iz-" Trent began. Izzy was already asleep, or at least faking sleep, and Duncan had walked over with his arms crossed. "Uh....I guess you can't fight either" Trent said.

"If Izzy's not willing to fight for no reason" Duncan said "then something has to be up. Honestly, I'm not feeling it either, right now."

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Trent said. "I was just trying to be pre-active out of habit."

"But all that violence is gone now" Duncan said. "I can still think about war but not about actually picking up a gun and blowing your pieces to Hell's woodshop class. I fell....kinda normal now."

"Woodshop class?" Trent asked. In an instant he was joined by a confused Cody, then Sadie and Katie entered huddled against each other, then Courtney, Eva, Owen, Gwen, Tyler, Lindsay, Justin, and eventually all the rest of each time joined lastly by Noah came together in the abyss area with a million questions on their mind.

"Looks like the server was crashed" Noah said. That alone had broken down almost every question that everyone wanted answered. Courtney stepped forward with her team in a cluster apart from the Blue team and demanded an answer.

"So what happened to the game?" she asked.

"Looks like it's over" Noah said. "At least, it's partly over. It got shut-down right around the time I killed Chef with a train."

"How'd you do that, dude?" Duncan asked. "That was the single coolest death I've ever seen happen in this game."

"Hacking" Noah simply answered.

"Figures" Duncan said. "Always leave it to the nerdy bunch to be the best gamers and loosest triggers, right?"

"I'd rather not speak for poor statistics" Noah said "but now is not the time to be talking about all that. The game is over, and neither team won. We need to figure out what happens to use now, and where we are in terms of our real bodies outside."

"You're real bodies" Chef proclaimed "got nothing to do with this!" He came in behind everyone and walked through them as they respectfully parted away from him to get to Noah. "This is Chris' fault, I just know it!"

"Was there a program that shut down the game in the presence of hacking?" Noah asked.

"Nope" Chef said. "Hacking is where Chris and I got all out possible power as players. The MVP mods are illegal boosts in the core character programing, giving 'unfair advantages' to a single player or specific class in a public lobby game."

"We were playing in a public lobby this whole time?" Courtney asked. "That doesn't seem possible!"

"We were testing the equipment out" Chef said "so that a public lobby could be freely opened at any time! Ya'll are test-pilots for these pods. When you signed to be on _Total Dram Island,_ you signed the executive and marketing rights to your appearance and namesake to the production company and network. That being said, you basically sold your bodies to be used however they wanted."

"I've got a question" Lindsay said.

"Don't interrupt me!" Chef demanded. Lindsay drew back and lowered her hand. "Now where was I? Ah, right. The network initially had you all signed to be taken to America for the game to persist near _Valve_ laboratories and research departments. However, we sat on the paperwork too long and now we're all unofficial residents of the state of Washington where Valve is based. It's not a long trip back into Canada but once we're there it's gonna be Hell in a hand-basket trying to dodge the authorities. You kids might even serve time for illegally sneaking into a foreign country, even just for a little bit."

"Okay" Duncan said with an apathetic shrug.

"No!" Courtney exclaimed. "I will not have my lifelong record slandered with an unintentional misdemeanor! This is not my fault and I will take this to the highest courts that I can to rectify it!"

"Maybe we can ask Izzy for help" Beth suggested "to dodge the authorities. She's been doing it most of her life, right?"

"Actually" Chef said "the more of you who claim to know her the worse off your case is going to be. She's wanted for murder right now..." Everyone looked down at sleeping Izzy and quickly moved away from her. "Not for anything recent, you idiots! She accidentally killed a guy before she abandoned the RCMP!"

"Oh" Trent said. "Well that's.....not exactly shocking, is it?"

"Poor Iz" Owen said. "I may never look at her the same way agai-Oh, hold the phone! Something's wrong with my stomach!!!" Owen bent over himself and clutched at his gut. A loud and intermittent rumbling sound came from his insides and shook the ears of those nearby. "Uwaaagh! It's....**HUNGER!!!! **I nearly forgot what this felt like!! Ooooooh, the pain!!!"

"That's odd" Gwen noted. "Owen barely ever got hungry when we were in the game."

"Or tired" Noah said. "That's the real miracle to be surprised at."

"It's no miracle" Chef said. "You busted your way out of the tube once. You're kept alive on a direct-feed life-support system. It handles all the ins and outs of your bodies to keep your minds active while you're in the game."

"Uh, TMI, Chef" Heather said. "I don't need to know that I have wires running all through me. That is disgusting."

"I still have a question" Lindsay whined.

"We'll get to it in a minute" Noah said with a nod. "What Chef's saying, I think, is that we've been temporarily removed from the support system but our minds are still linked up with the game's virtual reality."

"Yup" Chef said.

"So why are you here?" Noah asked.

"I got stuck between spawns when the game crashed" Chef admitted. "It wasn't going to kick me out immediately, you dirty little cheater. I just want to know one thing from you: How's a train a melee weapon?" Chef leaned in to Noah's face with a terrible grimace only to be met with Noah's apathetic staring.

"Hey!" Lindsay said, pushing Chef away. "I was next! Wait your turn! I was wonder, what happened to the rest of the embarrassing confessionals we did that weren't used up yet? It's still 7-7, so that means at least....uh...."

"There are still eight videos left" Bridgette said.

"Yup" Noah said. He was working the panel on his hax gun and saw the eight remaining confessional tapes that had yet to play. "Huh. Looks like mine got through at some point."

"Which ones are left?" Courtney asked. Noah just stowed his gun and disregarded her comment.

"Well yours already played" Noah said. "Is that what your really wanted to know?" Courtney was suddenly frustrated and dejected. She turned from him with a huff and crossed her arms in protest. "Well, what do we do now? That is the most pressing question."

"You all can do whatever you want" Chef said. "As far as I know, since the game hasn't finished, none of you are going to betting paid. Compensated, probably, but that victory money is getting cycled back to the network to pay for the losses and law-evasions we're undergoing."

"Screw that!" Heather exclaimed. "I'm getting paid, regardless!"

"Heather's got the right idea" Harold declared. "No war without wages!"

"You expect this face" Justin said "to put up with all this constant oppression and pressure without even a minor amount of damage billing!?"

"You can't just take it all back!" Geoff shouted.

"We signed up for this" Bridgette said "on a technicality. So technically, we're entitled to some money!"

"We'll file a huge suit!" Katie shouted. "What are those called?"

"Hey Courtney" Sadie asked, "if we all sue together, what's it called?"

"Well" Zeke said, drawing all the attention and emotions of the entire crowd together upon him for simply speaking up, "if nothing else we can probably get bribed by the network dudes to stay quiet about all this, eh?" That was it. The sudden revelation that everyone needed to hear and the influential drive to give them the bargaining power over Chef's own advisory position. He found himself cornered. Zeke was right, and anyone could say anything to get the network tanked under the current conditions unless they were paid properly. Even though he had no control over it, Chef took the circumstance to heart and logged himself off.

"You all get yourselves together" Chef said as he prepared to leave the game altogether. "You're gonna need a lot more coordination, and power, and control and cooperation for what's about to happen, you understand?"

"No" Gwen said. "Are you saying you're going to get the game back on?"

"I'll get you fighting again" Chef said "but ya'll better be a good team to win _this_ war. I just thought of something and I'll be back with your pal Chris in a little bit." With that, Chef left in mystery, leaving the fighters together incapable of actually fighting in an infinite black space.

* * *

A huge semi-truck, one closed with a trailer of solid steel and eighteen-wheels, drove up to the toll-gate road to drive north into Canada. The driver, by the name of McClean, flashed his passport and was passed through onto the international road. By his estimates, he was only a half-hour or less away from the country border and sweet, sweet freedom. Chris leaned back in the seat and sighed with relief as he rode down the road, listening to a soundtrack of himself voicing over various different segments of his previous works, watching to road ahead as his huge trailer took up an entire lane and overlapped onto the segmented white lines of the lines next to it. Cars sped past him, throwing obscenities and signs his way he didn't bother to see or hear. All seemed to be going well. Then, from the back, he heard a thud.

Chef hopped out from his pod and detached the nodes and wires connected to his forehead and spinal cord. They retracted back up into the upper dome of the pod and he stood cautiously inside the moving semi cargo hold. All the pods were there as well, huddled together close with the Blues on one side and the Reds on the other, all connected by a thick padded coil of wires into a mainframe network that held all their minds and powered by small individual temporary battery packs.

"I've gotta stop this truck" Chef said, "but how?" Suddenly, the truck stopped and Chef lost his balance. He fell chest-flat to the floor and grabbed onto the base of two pods to support himself from freely sliding around everywhere. He heard the engine of the cab stop and the door open and close. He stood up and moved to the back to wait. Eventually, he knew, Chris would open it up again. Until then Chef simply stood and waited with a glare on his face while Chris indulged in a pre-victory milkshake from a road-side rest-stop complex that had a Dairy Queen in it, completely oblivious to what awaited him.....

...to be continued.


	67. Server DownTime

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

As Chris finished his milkshake he wondered around the truck yard, evading prying eyes for the paranoid sake of staying hidden. Although he did not change from his easily spotted clothing yet, he had donned a camouflage trucker's hat that he bought from the rest-area's gift shop. He noticed an expensive looking car pulling in to the area an coming toward him. He quickly ducked between his truck and another, allowing them to pass by at the expense of getting a spot of grease on the back of his stylish shirt.

"Whew!" he sighed once the car was passed and parked far away. "That was close! Now, I guess I'd better check on the 'cargo' I'm 'hauling'. Wouldn't want the contents shifting too much!" Chris finished his milkshake and tossed it aside, underneath the truck behind him that wasn't his. He opened the back and was promptly grabbed by the hand of Chef and forced into the trailer. Chef shut the doors and held Chris in one arm against the side of the truck.

"Take it easy, pal!" Chris said. "I couldn't boot you in time! I was under attack!"

"Oh, sure" Chef said. "Under attack. By who!?"

"A bounty hunter!" Chris exclaimed. Chef held him high for a moment and then let him drop down onto the hard metal floor.

"For real?" Chef asked.

"Heck yeah!" Chris exclaimed. "He tried to kill me! The network's out for blood, dude!"

"I told you we should have put the interns in stockades!" Chef said. "At least then they could keep working!"

"Well we're almost home" Chris said. "That is, we're almost in our home _country_. I don't think we'll be going back to Ontario any time soon."

"They're obviously going to blame Izzy for this" Chef said. "Girl confessed to murder on live, national television."

"Darn it!" Chris said, slapping his knee. "There's always something wrong with her! Always! We should have tranquilized her before she got the chance to find my home address." Chris started stroking his chin, deep in thought over the trouble he was in. "I think they're on to me right now. I saw a flashy car pulling in to the rest area. Couldn't get a great look at it, but it wasn't something I wanted to be seen by."

"Well we may be dead-men standing" Chef said. "We'll have to get out of here soon, too. These battery packs won't last."

"Wait!" Chris exclaimed. "That's it! Dude, that's it!!!" Chris grabbed Chef by the shoulders and tried shaking him out of his pure excitement, but Chef was too sturdy for Chris to move. He kept up on his energetic high of genius and exited the back, leaving it open for Chef to follow. Chef bound down, gave a quick apologetic salute to the boys and girls still in the pods, and locked the trailer up before running after Chris. They both met at the cab of the truck where Chris was quickly getting in.

"Hold up" Chef said. "You're too excited to drive, and about what I don't know. Move over." Chris hopped into the passenger seat and let Chef take the wheel. "Now where's all this energy coming from? What are you thinking?"

"Bear with me, Chef" Chris said. "I think I have exactly the plan we need, but we need to make a quick detour to **Bellevue, Washington!**" A dramatic close-up of Chris' face accompanied the city's name. Chef gave him a curious look and crossed his arms in a pout. Chris sighed and submitted to his stubbornness. "You can't trust even a tiny mystery like that!?"

"You think the batteries will last that long back there!?" Chef exclaimed. "Those kids'll wake up, start walking around and maybe even lose consciousness. Now I'm tough, I can take being unhooked right after I quit out, but those kids have been in there for _days_, frozen in time and space. The only thing that's been moving is their brains. You think they can stand up straight using only their brains?"

"Technically, yes" Chris said. "But you're right, I guess. So, first step will be recharging the batteries. We'll need some kind of huge engine or electrical grid to do that, though, and at the very least a couple of small, compact sports cars."

"We can find a scrap yard" Chef said "and use what's left of the budget for engines."

"Awww!" Chris whined. "That budget was supposed to feed into our salaries if we had stuff left over! That's why we went super-minamalist with production!"

"You wanna go to jail!?" Chef asked. Chris looked away and thought for a second, answering in all honesty with an unemotional shrug and grunt. Chef took that as a 'no' and turned the engine. "We'll find one on the way. Can you navigate?"

"Sure!" Chris said. He picked up a GPS from the floor of the cab and started plugging in the letters of Bellevue. He also searched for a scrapyard and auto-parts store to find the engines they'd need to keep the kids in the back stored and out of their hair. The battery power still remaining would last for several hours, at least four, until they all gave out at once. Chef pulled out of the dense trucker parking lot and hit the lane to the highway. Chris fastened the GPS to the dashboard so Chef could see it and turned the volume up nearly to full so it would sound over the roar of the engine. Chef equipped a pair of shades and rested his arm on the open window as he drove.

* * *

Back in the extremely limited, localized gaming world, the two teams were at a meeting. Pondering endlessly over Chef's cryptic explanation after he departed, the boys and girls met, sitting on the vast emptiness that was the apparent floor with both team leaders in the center of their team's lines and slightly forward.

"So" Courtney began, "what do you propose we do, Noah?"

"That depends" Noah said. "We should consider the possible scenarios that will form from this one before we take any rash actions."

"Such as...?" Duncan said.

"We could be forced to redo the game" Noah said.

"No way" Gwen said. "The whole thing!?"

"Possibly just 2Fort" Noah said to calm her "but I wouldn't hold it above Chris to screw us over and force a total repeat of every map for whatever reason. To mix things up, he may swap teams while keeping leaders the same."

"Or mix them up randomly" Courtney added. "If that happens, we'll just have to go with it. What other choice to we have?"

"We can quit" Duncan said. "No one's ever considered that they could walk out and quit?"

"Well" Courtney began, "it's not just that easy. On the island, to quit we had to swim from camp, even though we were never really _anywhere dangerous_ and it was all nothing but a _FAKE._ Here Chris is trusting us not to even bother, because to quit during a map you'd have to get outside the limits and find some kind of bug or code or...something out in the desert of all places to help you."

"In the most likely case" Noah said "taking the train on Well would get you out of the map in the cleanest way, provided you're not riding the cow-catcher. If it's as simple as that, though, I'd have found something when I was in no-clip mode, or something in the debug code."

"So no swimming" Trent summarized. "That's basically got us back at square one."

"Well, we got distracted" Noah said. "If they have us pick up where we left off or what battle they'll push us through is irrelevant to this discussion. We need to think, what would Chris want to do to keep things entertaining."

"So he can keep his job..." Courtney added. She then began to think deeply about the situation and all the things she'd want to do to keep a job like that, as little as she'd want it in the first place. "I've got it!" Courtney exclaimed.

"Kay" Noah said, ready to listen without showing any sign of eagerness.

"Chris could be setting up for a bonus round" Courtney said. "In that bonus round, only one person gets a shot. It's basically a free-for-all. However, there's a certain twist which allows for teams to for, provided that the money given to one team is automatically split between its members. And it'd have to be an amount that would encourage people to team up and still be heavily rewarded, more than a single million dollars."

"Possibly three" Noah said. "The most common team occurrence given any freedom of will is usually three people. Three million is easier to divide between three people than one million is."

"It could be just under a million too" Gwen noted. "The budget for this show must be shot to hell and back after all the stuff that's happened."

"You're both wrong" Duncan said. "Did you forget about the prize completely? $300,000 to _each team member_. That means, divided by eleven, they'd have a total rewards budget for....." Duncan paused to start rounding and adding numbers in his head. The human calculator Cody got the answer much faster and shouted it out of turn.

"Three million and three hundred thousand!" Cody could feel Duncan's icy glare and lowered his arm from its victorious throw upward.

"So I'm closest without going over" Noah said.

"Nice, eh" Zeke said.

"But that's a bit unrealistic" Courtney said. "It'd be much easier for them to have a nice, rounded number, right?"

"Let's keep considering the budget" Noah said. "I feel like we're getting somewhere with it."

"The pods they're keeping us in are no cheap imitations" Courtney said. "This is legitimate, powerful, high-end stuff. Most of the money must be going toward that."

"And then there's salaries to consider" Bridgette pointed out. "We all know Chris isn't one to skimp on himself to make a show good. If anything, he'd sell out half the essentials of survival for us just to get a bigger check."

"So we know Chris is an anti-humanitarian" Heather said. "What does that help us with? That's sort of...common knowledge."

"A real budget left for rewards" Harold said "would have to be as trim as possible to give Chris the incentive to keep hosting. Therefore, I think it's more sensible for the 3.3 mil to be the right amount. It's the lowest without being low and gets us working for him."

"I agree with Harold on that" Noah said with a slight degree of hesitance. "If there were corners to cut he'd cut ours first."

"So considering the budget" Courtney began "what can we come up with.....wait, why are we considering the budget again?" Courtney cued everyone to zero in on Noah, the only one not lost by their amateur accounting routine.

"Because the more money they have" Noah said "the more they'll try to get rid of in the finale, supposing we have one. In Courtney's idea, all the reward money would be evenly combined into 3.3 million, as noted by Harold. But all the rest of the money would have to be drained from Chris' pay and Chef's pay into the season-ending blockbuster finale. Therefor, we can plan around the idea of a free-for-all at the biggest expense of a map and command system possible. In addition, I think it's safe to say that we won't need to plan around MVPs anymore."

"Damn" Eva lowed.

"I guess that's true" Harold said in dejection.

"Since the game would reset" Courtney added "I guess so would our status, right? Makes sense."

"Now" Noah began again "I wonder if they had to get the rights from _Valve_ to do all this."

"Right!" Courtney exclaimed. "The rights to this kind of set-up wouldn't be cheap! Copyrights are expensive!"

"And this show does have its audience" Noah admitted. "If something were skimped or skipped over, they'd know. And I'm sure there are plenty of people upset about the changes Chris imposed through modding. Additional weapons, challenges, weather, all that crap."

"Yeah" Courtney agreed. ".....I'm sorry, I still don't see how this is planning." Noah sighed. "Just quit being so circuitous and get to a feasible point."

"We're willing to pretend to understand" Duncan added "so long as you're willing to be straight about it."

"You're saying that now that the show is up" Heather began with her own theory "Chris will have to go back to Valve, somehow, to get permission to reuse or edit a map?"

"That's a theory" Noah said, "though if they made their own map and paid to use whatever engine the game's virtual reality runs on, there won't be any problem with that."

"Didn't they, like, 'extort' their interns already?" Lindsay asked, confusing 'extort' with 'exile'.

"You think Chris" Justin said "would actually try working to make his own custom map to torture us with?"

"I don't think he's smart enough" Noah said. "Basically, when I escaped my digital jail, the whole map seemed to be this ridiculously confusing series of poorly-positioned bridges and bland textures. If anyone made a map that frustrated, confused and made it impossible for the players to play on, it'd be Chris, and an exciting and relateable video-game show that map would not make."

"So we can guess" Trent said "that they're going to try to renew their contracts somehow?"

"Possibly" Noah said.

"What about the network?" Courtney asked. "If they ax the show before we get to do anything, won't that somewhat cancel out all this planning?"

"Chris won't let that happen" Noah said. "So far as we know the viewers aren't aware that anything's happening."

"Obviously not" Justin said. "It takes weeks to edit together all this action. We could record a whole season in a month and no one would see it for half a year! That's how television works!"

"How do you know so much about that?" Sadie asked.

"I've been on TV before, of course" Justin said. "I was told, the first time, that the commercial wouldn't air for a while because they had to carefully select the most beautiful scenes of mine to use. Needless to say, it took them about a month to put it all together. They had so much footage they ended up just playing it all as an infomercial."

"All that aside" Noah said "he's completely right. This could just be a hiccup in the broadcast, or something easily patched over by some random stock footage."

"Or worse!" Harold exclaimed. "They could get interns to enter the game and play as us for free after we're done to get all the events to unfold exactly the way they want!"

"How?" Heather asked. "They'd all have to be spies to change disguises."

"No" Noah explained, "they could just store the data of us running around and killing each other and use that as a modded skin for anyone else to use."

"If they get a male to play me" Courtney began "and he, at any point at all, tries to feel _my_ body up, we won't have to worry about the network. I'll shut it down!"

"Can we all get focused again?" Gwen said. "I'm having a hard time keeping up with what we're trying to do."

"It's simple" Noah said. He stood up. "Once Chris respawns he'll start up the game. At that point, **everybody jump him.**" There was a profound silence after that, ended when Eva stood up and pounded her fists together.

"That's it?" Courtney asked. "Where's all that brilliance and cunning? Where's all your genius!?"

"Sometimes" Noah proclaimed "you've just got to face your problems head on. Then punch their face until they go away. If we can get Chris to relent from us he'll quit the game, control from outside and I can outhack him. If Chef gets sent in, we can just fight him and his soldier-mind will eventually surrender to us. We wait for their play, then trump it. That'll be out plan."

"And if we fight again" Courtney said, standing up to steal the remaining proufoundness, "then we'll just keep at it like we always have."

"Of course" Noah said. "And we'll win."

"I'm sure you might" Courtney said with a heavy sarcasm. Noah grinned and they shook hands. All hands met across the rows and shook together, forging a pact of both steadfast and honest peace, as well as relentless and merciless war between the two teams. An alliance with an obliteration clause....

* * *

In a dark room overlooking a dam in-construction at the opposite end of a dried-up valley, sat a man. Ironically, the towering building he resided in was also a dam, holding back water that the other dam's river flowed in to.......

At the head of an exquisite oak-paneled table with his back to the back of a chair near the back wall of the room, sat the **Network Executive Producer**, the eye-patched man of evil, tapping together his fingertips. The air in his office was that of scheming and evil, though it was not edited as such. He sat in a virtual world, not unlike the contestants of the show he fought so hard to end themselves, and overlooked the manual construction of the game's greater playing environment with great expectations in his stone-cold smile.

"It's magnificent!" he began in a monologue. "The greats minds of video-game science have come together to create this, the perfect virtual world! All pain is real to the player, yet never real to his body. There is no hunger or tiredness, only the constant and furious action of strategic warfare and battle! Only the purest human emotions of rage, terror, depression and ecstatic joy are present in this glorious battlefield!" He moved across the room in his chair, staying seated perfectly still. The table before him parted and moved into the walls. He sat at the broad window overlooking the dry gulch field far below with the small sliver of silver river running through it. He wrung his hands together with glee and leaned back in his chair to laugh, sounding exquisitely evil as he did.

"**Uahahahahahahahahaaa!!!"** he roared with despicable laughter. "Argh!" he grunted in frustration, leaning forward again with an irked scowl on his face. He pressed a button on the arm of his chair and buzzed an intercom. "Patricia!" he shouted with command.

"Yes, sir?" the bored woman on the other end asked.

"Why is my character so evil?" the Producer asked. "I mean, I'm not a bad guy in real life, and I certainly don't have the eye-patch! I have glasses, sure, but not a freaking eye-patch! What kind of model was I given? And why can't I walk!?"

"Sir" Patricia began in the most droning of bored tones, "your model data is incomplete at best. Since your character was designed from the ground up by a custom team to be its own whole entity separate from any pre-programmed entity in the SourceSL code, they had to work from scratch. It should be done by the week."

"But why a villain?" the Producer asked. "I never specified 'villain'. I just wanted to be a leader figure!"

"I'll have to get back to you on that, sir" she said. "We've got another call coming in..."

"No! Don't! I command you!" he shouted, though all in vain, as Patricia was gone to take care of the other call. He sighed and rested his head against the window, his wheeled chair and rear end one programmed entity in the same. He groaned and then pushed his head back with a cool sweep through his hair. "No matter, I suppose. Once this program is completed, we shall have the full rights in joint with _Valve_ to start up our new project. No more half-assed reality TV production! I shall go on to the executive control over the vast network of SteamSL systems! The most sophisticated and advanced virtual-reality in existence! **It shall all be MINE! UAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!"** Despite his best efforts to sound nonthreatening and want to talk normally, the voice module of the model forced him to enunciate everything in a sinister tone.

"Agh! Damn!" he exclaimed, catching himself again. "I really must get that sorted out. I don't want anyone to think I'm playing a bad guy right now...." He pushed his way in short scoots of speed back across the room, watching behind him carefully as he went, and pressed a button while forming a scheming finger pyramid with his fingers. The table reconnected from the walls and was set before him yet again. "Ah, I wonder if the call was about that hitman I sent after Chris..."

With that incidental thought as an aside, the Producer was left alone in his dam-height office as the camera panned out to overlook the massive digital construction that the valley arena underwent. It was a map under construction, a tournament-style Dustbowl style point-capture map with various obstacles, paths, and running routes planned for the area between the damns. The river was to be canceled out altogether, somehow sealed off completely so that the water could be controlled freely from behind both dams. The lake holding all the liquid back was nearly infinite, sealed off by the ends of the possible mapping parameters some digital miles away, and the canyon itself formed from two islands high above with solid stone base that prevented all water from draining past the dams.

The islands themselves were maps also under construction with no method devised on how to link them together, with a small fort built on each. They were both approximately the same size in area, though one had more space underneath than the other as the base was mostly subterranean. Both bases were unmarked for colors, possibly to be inter swappable when the map was completed. The island with the concrete bunker style base was tropical and mostly bright sandy terrain. Some bright-green grass and bushes were scattered around and the sides were bordered all around with tropical palm trees, all except the "shore" that faced the other island. That island, with a tall standing brick and mortar and, mostly, wooden fort was completely deciduous, an unintentional throwback to the previous famous island of the show currently held under the network's belt as being popular.

There was no proper dock or bridge, and no obvious plans to make one out of nothing to stretch over the very wide and waterless expanse that led down to the sedentary lake-bed arena between the dams. The whole digital world was some kind of mystery, all the secrets of which were held tightly guarded in the chest of the Producer's evil General's coat...

* * *

Along the road in the state of Washington, Chris and Chef alternated between turns hauling heavy engine blocks into the back of the trailer. One for each battery pack, 23 in total, even at the lowest negotiating price had sapped what was left of the budget to skim. Chris and Chef had exhausted everything but gas money to save their salaries, all in the effort to save the show. Chris breathlessly hauled an engine block up into the back of the truck and rested it near the edge. Several engines were already hooked up and working, the car batteries charging the pod batteries and the engines themselves left to idle and slowly give charge to the batteries.

"Why is it less expensive" Chris said between pants "to get the whole block and not just the battery!?"

"Batteries are expensive" Chef said, holding a block under each arm. He set them both down in the neat rows he had already established and started setting them up.

"How is that possible!?" Chris exclaimed.

"You'd better go in and check on them" Chef said. "I'd hate to have to tell them what we have to say."

"Alright" Chris said, eager to quit his tediously heavy manual labor. "You keep it up out here, I'll go in and reconnect with the contestants." Chris walked through the ordered row of humming blocks and entered his pod. It was activated, sealed and filled with a cryogenic mixture of liquid oxygen to keep his body alive while his systems went on a near hibernation level. The nodes descended from the cranial attachment in the roof of the pod and hooked up to his head and around his spine underneath his clothes. Chris' brain was loaded into the game world and he was placed into his proper avatar, surrounded by infinite darkness in the low-memory server.

"Hmm" he began, looking around, with his fingers cupping his chin. "That's strange. They should be here already. They couldn't escape, there's nowhere to go."

"Oh, on the contrary" Noah said. He decloaked with a knife held up at Chris' throat. "Nowhere is exactly where we went." Everyone else appeared as well, holding forward a sharp butterfly knife at Chris. Somehow, everyone had changed their class to spy and was capable of wielding weapons again. The head spies, Heather and Harold, stepped forward and took control of the situation by locking Chris down in a submissive hold.

"Hi Chris!" Heather exclaimed as she choked him. "How's the good life?"

"Oh, great!" Chris said as he was strangled. "You know, saving your lives from a lawless pursuit and jail time, running away in a rented eighteen-wheeler, spending all our spare money to keep your vitals up; the good life rocks!"

"Let him go, you two" Noah said. Reluctantly, Heather and Harold dropped Chris from their tandem hold and stepped away. Using his hax gun, Noah reset everyone's class and approached as an engineer again, wielding a wrench and empty guns around his belt. "Tell us exactly what's going on, Chris. Don't be two-faced about it, either."

"I intend to!" Chris said. "The Network is trying to ax the show, and _me_, before we get back to Canada. I'm not sure on all the details, but it looks like it's Izzy's fault." Izzy just blinked cluelessly and shook her head.

"Waitaminute" she said. "What!? How is this my fault!?"

"In your confessional" Chris began "you took on your alternate personality, Xi, and confessed to a murder. Needless to say, the RCMP is quite peeved at you, and the Network is trying to get to you by going through me." Chris held up his facade of dissuading truths to stay out of the blaming light of the fighters who were readily equipped. Izzy glanced quickly at the ground, feeling guilty, but was defended suddenly from an unlikely source.

"Don't try to push your problems on us!" Courtney demanded. "Contractually we were obligated to do this show from out of TDI! This has nothing to do with any single one of us, but it has everything to do with you, so start explaining! Why are you on the run? Why is the Network trying to get rid of you!?"

"Okay!" Chris shouted, more fearful of Courtney's eventual retaliation than anyone else. He yanked at his collar and sighed to begin. "The inters were supposed to document our travel across country borders by the end of the show, but I exiled them, so they....couldn't and then I forgot to and....so you're all technically illegally in the United States."

"What!?" the contestants cried, almost together.

"So, we're all fugitives!?" Gwen exclaimed.

"This isn't even a big deal" Duncan said. "At worst we'll get forced back to Canada and placed under some stupid, trivial form of house arrest. Or, at worst, have our passports suspended."

"Well" Chris began, "you'll be going back to juvie, Duncan. After all, you're only here to keep yourself from being there. And while I _was_ a bit harsh in placing my blame, I am telling the truth that Izzy did something wrong and is still wanted."

"Now I'm an international criminal" Izzy said with a light lament of realization in her voice. "I can outrun the RCMP. They're pansies. The US Army is going to get me sooner or later..."

"Now now!" Chris said, mediating the mood to center on him. "Don't worry a bit! I've got a plan, okay?"

"How will that keep us from worrying!?" Leshawna demanded.

"You've thrown us out of the frying pan" Owen began in grief and horror "and right into the hot, roasting coals of the barbeque pit! **Sweet Boats of Gravy I'm hungry!!!**"

"And the power's out in our tubes" Noah said. "Yup, we're done for. It's all just the slow march of death after this."

"Can you try not to be a dick, Noah?" Chris said. "And Owen, we're hooking up all the battery packs again. Full power will be restored to your pods shortly. Now everyone just calm down and I'll tell you how this is going to work." Noah looked with skeptical glances to his team mates. They answered with skeptical looks of their own. Then he looked to Courtney, who nodded with a stern and impassible command on her face, and her team followed her wordlessly. Noah backed away and gave Chris some space within the circle of soldiers. He cleared his throat to begin.

"Right now" Chris said "the head of the Network is in his office in Ontario, overseeing the life of the virtual reality project that stems from the prototype used for this show. _Valve_ developed two programs to make use of this new kind of virtual reality, SourceSL and SteamSL. The SL stands for 'Simulated Life'. Using SourceSL the Producer, the eye-patch guy, is making a new epic-level map that can be played openly by any players using SteamSL, which takes their brains and pools them together over high-speed internet connections into a virtual reality server, allowing them to fight as freely as they wish."

"So all of this" Noah realized "was a test of _Valve's_ mechanics?"

"Pretty much" Chris said. "We were given a compensation budget of 5 million dollars to test the whole thing out and offered most of it to you to keep our heads above any...legal floodwater. The system works but it's still imperfect, and it's still quite obviously susceptible to hacking."

"It's not a measure of susceptibility" Noah said, arrogantly defending his position, "it's a measure of I'm better than your prevention software was."

"Wait a sec" Gwen said, "you said the Producer is overseeing the map in game, right?"

"Thank you!" Chris said. "I can always count on at least one of you to listen to the important bits. Yes, though, he is. He's operating on an open server currently filled with programming bots modeled after _Valve's_ team of designers to help build the map itself and complete the modeling for the whole game."

"So if we can access that server" Cody said "we can meet the Producer face-to-face digitally and talk to him!"

"Or" Eva began, "we can _not_ talk to him." She pounded her fists together to directly express her motives, shooting Cody's peaceful initiative straight down.

"That's one way" Chris said. "He is a gamer himself. That's the whole reason this show exists!"

"Then we should face him" Trent said "and make him see the error he's trying to commit. That's what you _want_ us to get at, right?"

"You just want us to do all the work" Gwen said "to save your career by keeping this show alive in a challenge against its current 'Lead Boss'."

"Yup!" Chris shamelessly said. "Man, when'd you guys get so smart? Hehehe!" The sarcasm in his laugh was palpable. Everyone stayed silent with rage and clenched their fists at their sides. The duplicitous nature that they all knew to be all too true of Chris had come again, and it was no less annoying that it ever was in the past. Finally, breaking the tension, Noah stood up with his arms crossed.

"How much?" he asked. Everyone was astounded by his blunt acceptance. Chris grinned deviously.

"**One Million bucks!"** he proclaimed.

"That's less that it was before!!!" Courtney shouted.

"You screwing with us!?" Eva shouted. An uproar of protest, angst, rebellion and anger roared up until Chris opened his eyes with a sudden flash and, with an unflinching grin, added to his proposal.

"One million **_Each!!!_**" And then there was incentive, and no one debated it. A million dollars to each person, under the condition that they unite to face down a common enemy.

"That's the highest you can go?" Noah asked. He was slapped on the mouth and held by his teammates, all of whom were more than satisfied with the amount. Chris nodded.

"As soon as the royalties come in" Chris said, "it's going to all of you."

"Royalties?" Courtney skeptically said. "For a show like this?"

"You know how popular this show is?" Chris asked. "Royalties currently taken in by both _Valve_ and the Network are peaking a few million. Add to that expected royalties for when this show actually _airs_ and the technology researched and tested through _all of you_ becomes available to the _worldwide public_, the money will be far beyond your expectations." Courtney was silenced. Her eyes had gone wide with delight, even, at the statistics she compiled in her head. "Now, just be patient and start planning like I know you can! The moment we arrive at _Valve_ Headquarters, we will connect to the internet, and the game **will BEGIN!!!"** For once, at the enthusiastic call made by Chris, the contestants shouted along with him. Though they weren't in it for Chris' charisma sake. All they focused on was the sheer unbreakable promise of the immense sum of cash in their name....

* * *

"And that was my second active duty" Chef said, "ended when I was court marshaled. I missed my trial cause I slept in, and they thought I was just not going, so they called me AWOL and, last I checked, they struck me from the service with dishonor. Oh well. What about you?"

"I just sell car parts n' cars" the old junkyard owner said. "I'm much obliged to you two. Whatcha doing, you need all this stuff for?"

"We're with a show" Chef said. "Uh, a car show. One of those reality show deals."

"Oh, I don't watch much of those" the man said. "Not enough engine work on them shows."

"Yeah, I know" Chef agreed. "They just look at what we pay for parts, not the parts or the place we buy them from."

"That why you paid so much for those scrap engines?" the man said.

"We had plenty to spend" Chef said. "No reason to leave anything left over if it'll just get recycled into their budget for fancy, useless big parts on the doors or spoilers or...whatever."

"Well good luck anyway" the man said. "Thanks for all the money, in any case. I'll throw in some gas for you in good will, if ya give me a second to pour it."

"Much obliged" Chef said as he walked away. "Much obliged...hehehe. Let's see Chris be so uppity with all that money gone. 23 engines fashioned into generators costing over a million dollars...not in _this _life." And so all the plots regarding money came full circle, and all was understood as to how so much of it could have been lost in buying junk engines and reconfiguring them into gas-powered electric engines. Chef's nefarious intent had been solidified and justified in full, and now he was prepared to be the proper sidekick that Chris needed him to be. All the cogs were turning in place, all the pieces coming together. In the end, the climactic finale of the show will be sure to surprise and captivate even the most skeptical of fans.

What will happen? Who will win? Is a victory even possible at this point? Is the show really worth enough in royalties to justify Chris' promise or will all the contestants become better aware and simply lower their expectations to nearly a null state and let things happen as they do? All roads will eventually converge as these two fast and powerful forces move together in a destined collision!!! The heated race will continue next week! Get ready for the climactic, super-ultimate finale of

_**TOTAL**_

_**DRAMA**_

_**TEAM FORTREEEEEEEEEESS!!!!!!!**_


	68. Searching for Dedicated Server

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Bellevue, Washington, USA. On an unsuspecting street there was the building where the whole game somehow began. The headquarters of _Valve_, American licensed software company. A new branch of their department, aptly titled the 'Black Mesa' wing, worked on the research and development of many a different project at once. Half-Life mods were tested and played, Team Fortress 2 content was developed and balanced, other game modules and codes were reviewed and improved upon all in the effort for the transfer of digital game-play into true virtual reality. Spearheading the development and testing of the VR equipment was an estranged Canadian reality-TV production network which was little more than a week into the filming of the newest show, _Total Drama Team Fortress_. The contestants were all the prime candidates for all manner of young male and female demographics, all of them potential models for more pods to be designed after in the future.

What _Valve_ didn't know was how poorly the show was getting along currently, and all the problems that had recently arisen within the network, and just how much illicit activity was truly happening right under their noses......

A truck with no real purpose pulled into the parking lot and drove up to the front of the entrance. A security guard was dispatched immediately and climbed up to peer into the passenger window.

"What's all this about?"

"**HYAH!!!"** shouted Chef. He delivered a powerful Judo chop to the man's shoulder and knocked him out in an instant.

"Nice shot!" Chris said from the driver's seat. "Now, why'd you do that!?"

"Sorry!" Chef said. "They already tried killing you. If they knew we were coming here, I'd bet they'd keep on trying!"

"Good point" Chris said. "Alright, I'll go in and talk to....whoever, and you get inside the game with the kids and prep them up."

"Got it" Chef said. "Now, what if we can't get connected like we want?"

"I saw a Starbucks on the way over here" Chris said. "That's our only backup plan right now."

"Then I hope to God that this works" Chef said. Chef and Chris left the truck where it was and left for their respective positions. Chef went to the back of the trailer and opened it up with a few cautious glances around to make sure he wasn't followed. Chris entered the reception area and sped right past the desk. After a solid few moments of inaction he doubled back and rang the bell to catch the clerk's attention.

"I see you" the woman said. "No need to ring the bell. Name please?"

"Yes" Chris began. "Chris McClean, here. I'm part of the international testing division for SteamSL research project?"

"Alright then" she said. "I'll refer you to BM, you go ahead and head there yourself."

"Kay" Chris said. "So uh, how do I get there?"

"Take that elevator" she said, pointing across the room "to the fourth floor and follow the black signs with the little white parallelogram shape that's supposed to be a mesa all the way to the end of the building. Then you'll take a short, scenic monorail ride into the neighboring building, which is 'Black Mesa', and-"

"Can I just go there myself?" Chris asked.

"No" the woman said. An unnecessarily awkward silence seemed to follow, and Chris felt himself be subjugated to an unwant amount of ignorant projection.

"Okay then" Chris said "and you'll call up and tell them I'm on the way now."

"Yes, sir" the woman said. "Have a safe trip." Chris looked over his shoulder with a start at her blasé warning. Everything about the empty lobby and the lone receptionist seemed somewhat startling to him. He made his way into the elevator, that arrived just as he neared it and opened automatically, and entered while keeping a sharp eye on his back. He pressed the four button, keeping his eyes on the woman as the doors slid closed, staying on guard as much as possible.

He hadn't noticed but a man was in the elevator with him, wearing a gray hoody with a bloody splatter of color across the chest and a scowling mouth of blood-soaked fangs. Chris ignored him and thought hard, tapping his finger to his chin and looking away.

"She's new" the Hunter said. "She's kinda creepy."

"That's what I was thinking" Chris said, turning to his fellow rider. "She just had this weird, creepiness to her." Chris and the Hunter arrived on the fourth floor and departed at once, the obvious staff member to one area he knew and Chris to the nearest directory. He saw the first sign of black with a little white node in the middle pointing to the left and walked that hallway to the next sign. He passed by rooms where the sounds of gunfire, death-cries and various other miscellaneous gaming sounds were coming out in full blast, then passed through a row of cubicles that seemed to echo loudly with constant clacking of keys. A few corners had small displays or generally random monikers of the games the company was known universally for as guest attractions and general morale raisers. A model headcrab behind glass on a pedestal held the next sign in Chris' journey to find the Black Mesa area. He headed past a display stand of 3-D models for all the Left4Dead special infected and doubled back to look at it analytically.

"Hmmmm" he hummed. "That _would_ make a good series...." Noting the idea in his head, Chris returned on his route and came at last to the entrance of a small monorail station. The next one was slowly moving from Black Mesa, the building just across a tall wire-mesh fence next to the Headquarters, with several employees standing inside of it wearing white lab coats. One had a hazard suit of bodyarmor on underneath his coat that Chris could see. He sighed and sat next to two other staff members waiting for the monorail and impatiently tapped his foot.

"What's up with you?" one of the men, with a long and thin neck and thick head said jokingly. "Waiting to save the world?"

"No" Chris answered plainly "just my life, career and the reputations of 22 low-scale reality TV teenage stars..." The man shut up and turned away in discomfort. The other man just glanced casually and then went right back to ignoring Chris in favor of a newspaper he held....

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the compressed game server, the contestants were surviving and getting along better once more. Their direct life-support had been reactivated, staving off their gathering hunger and frustration and tiredness, and they had begun to plan once again.

"Obviously" Noah began "we're expected to work together on this."

"Great" Courtney said honestly. "So, how should we divide commands?"

"Well" Noah began, "the obvious thing to do would be to keep out teams under our own control, as we've gotten used to already. But, the free exchange of commands should go both ways. If I know Eva and Owen are close by, I should be able to tell them both where to go as a leader."

"And what if I have a better plan?" Eva asked, feeling conflictual at the moment.

"Then do it" Noah said. With her point so easily accepted she lost the will to continue fighting and just nodded. "In general, if a leader has the ability to communicate and acknowledge the approximate area of all the fighters, they should then be able to freely dictate the flow of battle given the engagements occurring within the proximity of their ordered soldiers."

"Ow" Izzy said. "My ears hurt now. Can you say that slower, please?"

"If we can order, we should order, and to anyone we want" Courtney said. "Is that basically it?"

"Pretty much" Noah said. "I'd replace 'want' with 'need' though. Only in extreme cases should orders be dictated from abroad."

"Agreed" Courtney said. The meeting had reached so many consensual points already that the teams had begun acting according to the dissolve. They didn't stand in lines anymore, and not behind their leaders as they talked. They stood off and to the side, bearing witness to Noah and Courtney, their elected and nominated leaders since the very beginning, offering opinions in a free fashion. They were mixed and standing by one another according to either class or pre-existing friendships, with Duncan standing next to Gwen who stood close to Trent near the front of the crowd.

"With eleven individuals apiece" Noah began "across a map we have already played, coordination should be simple. However, considering the aptitude of actual programmers and map builders likely to be in the company's control by now, we may not be playing on any map ever before experienced. Or, at the very least, a revamped version of a regular extra DLC map."

"But if we do play on a map we know" Courtney said "what kind of game would we play? Timed Deathmatch certainly seems possible..."

"They wouldn't do anything to make their classes moot" Noah said. "With a Timed Deathmatch you can either rush constantly or shrink to a constant defense. There's nothing to defend but a record, so once you get that you could just go into hiding and never fight to risk losing the win. It's unlikely to be that, for the lack of strategy and the mutuality of poor fighting ethics to be used."

".....right" Courtney said, half-understanding Noah's dissension.

"Possibly" Noah began "it will be an objective-based map. Maybe a capture point map, where, by capturing points we open pathways or gain access to different bonuses or terrain advantages per capture and work our way up to the last one, Granary style."

"Or a more simple capture the flag type game" Courtney said.

"Or maybe a combination" Gwen offered. "After all, if this is the final battle, it can't be something simple that we've already played through."

"For that matter" Trent said "it might even turn out to be some kind of protection, escort type of game where we lose points based on how many times a randomly selected person dies."

"That very well might be the case" Noah said "but that would fall under the implausible Timed Deathmatch category, and would devolve itself to the same basic strategies."

"Oh yeah" Trent said.

"Well what would _we_ want to play" Duncan began "if we got to decide? That's all we're thinking about now, so that must be what they're thinking about too, you know?"

"What are we the worst at?" Courtney wondered. "Collectively, with all our talents pooled, what game type would be the absolute worst for us?"

"Considering" Noah added "that together we've basically got the superior force of both defense _and_ offense to win any kind of game." After a moment of thinking, Noah added yet another aside comment to the conversation at whole. "It could be a Payload game."

"What's that?" Owen asked.

"Oh" Noah began "it was added too recently to the game as downloadable content to be programmed into this basic version, but basically, one team escorts a bomb to the other team's base, passing checkpoints to add time to a constant clock. The bomb moves when someone moves close to it and the more people there are nearby the faster it moves. It's pretty much complete defend/attack structure as far as a strategy would go. The defending team can't push the bomb back, but it will slowly go back to the last checkpoint it passed if left alone too long."

"That might be it!" Courtney exclaimed. "Think about it! For all our offense, combined, we also have a lot of concentrated defense, and what good would they do attacking? No offense, Noah."

"Hmmm" Noah hummed. "None taken. That's a valid point. Without turrets an engineer is basically just a low-diversity and mid-power offense class. Shotgun, pistol and wrench, that's it."

"But in defense" Cody said "with three engineers and one MVP among them we could put up a better defense than however many engineers they decide on having."

"Potentially" Noah corrected. "We don't know what kind of powers the Network higher-ups have in terms of modifications. It's entirely possible that we may be fighting an entire army of nothing but MVP bots in the war to come." That struck a chord of fear with everyone. Beth audibly gulped, along with Geoff and DJ, despite his own MVP status. The rest of the MVPs had mixed feelings, though most of them merely saw it as a greater challenge to look forward too, particularly Izzy, Heather and Harold.

Suddenly, digitizing out of nowhere, Chef appeared and approached the group of strategic soldiers.

"Attention!" he shouted. They just turned at him with curious glances. Zeke stood with heels together and saluted though, oblivious as he was. "Ah, whatever. Alright listen up, kids. This battle is going to be big. It's going to determine the fate of not only this show but of your **very Lives!** If any of you sorry sacks of cowardice want out of it now, I suggest you start walking until you hit the edge of this emptiness and never look back! Then, I'll unplug you, and you can sit the entire match out in the real world." That promise was a little too inviting to the war-weary troops, but they were stayed by their commanding leader's stopping hands.

"Chef" Noah began, "it's come to our attention that we may be facing drastically uneven odds in the coming fight. Had you considered the possibilities that all of our enemies might be overpowered in terms of their default classes?"

"Yes" Chef said.

"Wow, really?" Noah asked. "You didn't strike me as much of a thinker."

"Quiet, you!" Chef shouted. "I wasn't in the Army for nothing, you little grub! That's why I'm here! We're going to regain access to a larger, more open server in a short while and I will instate all of you, **every-single-one of you**, with MVP status."

"Oh, SWEET!" Geoff shouted. "I can already tell it's gonna be awesome!!!"

"Finally" Justin said "a war title to fit my supermodeling title. I already hold the status of TAP: Tightest Abs Possible."

"I'm going to be able to run super-fast!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Didn't you already do that, babe?" Tyler said.

"Oh yeah!" Lindsay said. "I wonder what my new power will be. Maybe super-flight!"

"Yes!" Courtney shouted. "We'll be nigh unstoppable!"

"Yes" Noah said, "'nigh'. MVPs can still be killed, of course. It's strategy that makes them greater than great." Noah turned to Chef and drew out his hacking gun, relinquishing it by handing it grip-first to the military force. "I'm going to go on a gamble and assume this won't work for me anymore."

"That's right" Chef said. "This server is totally hack-proof, to keep nosy info-stealers out and legitimate players and builders in and working."

"So how're we going to get into it?" Gwen asked.

"Hehehe" Chef deviously chuckled. "Like I said, it keeps the _players_ and builders in. As long as you're there, you're either building or playing..."

* * *

Finally, Chris was able to disembark. He walked into the floor that was a combination of a traditional computer graphics department work-floor and a laboratory. 3-D holographic images were on display inside closed glass-walled pods-like areas. Chris saw them immediately as models of the very game he was in charge of, the nine classes of Team Fortress 2. Their movements as models, though they still held their aesthetic character and cartoon charm, were much more life-like and fluid. A spy was stabbing his knife as many times as he could while his movement forward was made erratic with each swing, like a man running and attacking at the same time in real life, very awkward and uncoordinated.

"Alright" a man said who observed the spy's movements with a clipboard of notes in his hand began, "let's try to readjust his fighting. Almost all the characters are going to want to fight while on the move, so having their motions this erratic might cause too many-"

"Who's the model?" Chris asked, watching over his shoulder. "He sucks at that game. Yeah, I've got a load of test subjects and a whole local server full of movement data waiting outside for you guys. You wanna help me unload it, hook it up, maybe give the testers a peek at one of the under-construction maps?" The man, a stern faced gentleman with thin hair, turned to Chris and leered at him over the brim of his glasses.

"We know who you are" he said. The others moved behind and blocked Chris' way. He turned and saw himself surrounded with a stubborn scoff.

"Man, you guys are quick!" he said.

"Quickly" the stern man said. "The President has to meet with you regarding your....circumstances."

"Wait a sec" Chris said, "just how much _do_ you guys already know?"

"Enough" the man said. "Walk with me." He made a fast break across the floor and Chris followed, behind him the group of other gentlemen who looked between display pods of different characters from other games as if making their rounds. Chris was led up a metal staircase and into a sterile white hall that reeked of the surreal. Suddenly a man ran in front of him from **out of the solid wall** with a sleek, round white gun in his hand.

"Dimensional boundaries fall before me!" he exclaimed. He fired a blue bolt into the wall and began running, from one opening and into the other infinitely, a portal gun in his hand. "Oh look! I have a bald spot! Nyahaha!!" The doctor leading Chris stole the gun from out of the tester's hands and disengaged it with a click of a button. The man remained but the portals and the gun disappeared and he was disappointed. "Aww..."

"Get back to work, Humphry!" the stern man ordered.

"Oh, fine!" the dejected younger, thin-skinned man said as he hung his head and left. "I _was_ working, ass. Testing the thing....jerk....dirt......" he mumbled as he tread away.

"Surprised?" the man asked.

"A little" Chris said with an honest shrug and lack of interest. He followed the man further into a room where many objects were freely suspended overhead in a field of anti-gravity.

"Black Mesa has become a reality" the man said. "From video game to borderline real life. Using common mathematical properties and principles, we can develop actual machines and utilities based on purely fictitious designs and concepts. For example, take this room. The Multi-Zero Point Energy Field Manipulation Room. This is, essentially, a room of anti-gravity based on magnetic resonance energy wavelengths. We developed it by delving into the virtual world of Half-Life 2 and doing extremely deep research into how the Gravity Gun worked based on the physics of the game world. Then we managed to make a digital 'border' in our office by placing an array of green-screen projectors to give the effect that stuff is actually floating."

"So it's not real" Chris said, poking his hand up and watching the air fizzle in a fuzz of static around his arm.

"We like to this that, because of us, it one day will be" the man said.

"Man" Chris began, "this place is either awesome or totally lame."

"Ahem!" the man gruffly exclaimed with a loud clear of his throat. Chris straightened up and grinned nervously while he got scowled down. "Come. It is time."

"For what?" Chris asked.

"For you to save yourself" the man said. He motioned Chris to a sliding door and saw him through it. Then it closed behind him, without Chris able to get even a final passing glance at his escort before he found himself in a grungy looking office room. There were models of plastic strewn around on the floor, a foldaway paper map of a coastline with a litany of red marks as checkpoints and destinations, mannequins locked in battle poses with fake guns or things that looked or held like guns in their hands, two broken ceiling fans with engines hooked up to lights that were unevenly positioned to suspend over the desk area; all the fixings for a cluttered home in the square feet of an important and large office, made small by the clutter.

Chris approached the desk, where he saw a man working, very cautiously, and knocked on the metal. The man stood up and turned around. With the light of Washington at his back through the single pane of window glass he looked like a glorious phantom of a man. He had short, crew-cut hair, a brown goatee, green eyes and scientific glasses. He hardly looked like the type to work with or in league with computer experts by his body, as it was displayed underneath a T-shirt with a hand lacking a thumb and holding up a 'rock-on' sign against a splattered blue colored backdrop and his jeans were tight with muscle. Chris stood in awe of the President, or at least his virtual reality image, of the entire _Valve_ corporation.

"Hi" Chris said with a wave. The president, wordless, waved back with a grin. "Listen, I don't know how much you know, but I'm assuming not a lot, right?" The President gave an admitted shrug. "Alright then, hear me out. Your SteamSL works well, exceedingly well in fact, and I have 22 good reasons to prove it waiting outside." The President extended his arm and made a scooping motion, as if asking Chris to show them in. "Uh, not outside the door, sir. Outside in....a truck." He gave an exasperated sigh and throw of his arms. "Alright, you know, I understand your frustration, but trust me....it gets consistently worse." The President rolled his eyes up with his mouth open and then sat down at his desk chair with his fingers on his forehead. Chris offered himself a seat across from him and waited while the man rubbed his brow in frustration. "Uh-" and he was cut off by his gloved hand held up to stop him.

Another minute passed of him gathering together all the intellect and patience he had in his mental reserve to look Chris dead-straight in the eyes and motion with a gun-like finger at him from his arm-propped position to "Go"

* * *

Back in game, yet again, Chef had just finished instituting the final permanent changes to the character data as the sole admin on the server capable of such modifications. For the most part, the competitors were just getting their own powers back after the game had ended. Heather and Harold reached a point of friendly rivalry at last, rather than total adversaries. As always, the spies were classified as Super-Spies, as per the class changes. They were equipped with long and efficient katana swords that were held either on their back or at their hips, depending on their own preference for fighting, and any attack to an enemy's back was instant death. Their cloaking devices also had holographic fake dead body projections activated immediately upon an initially fatal blow. Their disguises granted them the ability to fire seemingly harmful fake bullets from class-specific guns that acted as paint pellets to keep the illusion of being a different class on another team. Along with all of that, their ranged proficiency was highly tuned with throwing knives, which could function as long-range backstabs if thrown fast enough. They were displayed wearing sleek black skin-suits with pull-over visors, worn optionally, to keep their identities secret.

"This is good" Harold said, snapping the snags in his suit away. "It looks much better on you, though."

"That's the point, Harold" Heather said. "If that becomes a problem, I'm sure there are adjustments you could make to your suit to look like anyone at all and keep your identity hidden." Harold began fiddling with his watch and pressed a sequence of buttons that morphed the suit to mimic DJ's barrel-chested physique right up to the uncovered face.

"Aw, cool!" Harold exclaimed. He drew up his hood, which also inflated, and leaned over Heater. "Hey, hot stuff. Looking for a date? Hahaaa!" Heather smirked and poked his suit with a dagger. It ruptured and deflated, ending in a saggy mess with a tear in the chest as Harold lost all his physique and Heather laughed. "Aw, man. Darn you!"

The Engineers, all three of them, were under the leadership of Noah, who began to instruct them on the proper strategy of being an MVP engineer. Their abilities included a much increased repertoire of constructs available to build; a turret that can be manually controlled and built up to level 4, which is nearly invincible and super-destructive; the ability to freely sacrifice their own building capabilities alone to modify their teammate's weaponry and built bulletproof armor; and as a team of builders, the ability to collaborate their overall capabilities as the same class and combine their power into up to a level 6 turret, one level added for each additional MVP engie. Their own weapons were expanded into an auto-shotgun and magnum pistol, which had a smaller clip but further range and much more power, as well as their trusty, unchanged wrench. Their appearance as MVPs was slightly different from their regular costumes. They still wore hardhats, but were now called Mechanics and wore flight-suits with heroic team-based emblems and oil stains on them.

"Okay" Noah began, illustrating a map of a randomly assorted number of obstacles in an overhead rendering. "Say this is the first room available for you to defend. Where do you set up and how?" Cody's hand went up quick while Zeke just stared open-mouthed at the drawing. "....okay Cody. Come up here and mark it up." He passed Cody a marker and let the enthusiastic young strategist protege go to work. The overview itself was strewn with huge boxes, all marked with an approximate height in meters or a height of 'N' if it couldn't be jumped to at all. Cody made a few quick marks where he drew the range of the turret he would build, where he would build it and where and how he would station himself, back to the wall and wrench to the turret.

"I figured that this spot" he said, pointing to his optimal corner nearest to his base entrance "will do a better job of being a generalized defense line, rather than a high-risk offense line. I built the turret up forward to give it a greater range and, while no exposing myself to deadly elements, set up a dispenser close enough so that I can repair and replenish the turret while still keeping my back to a nearby wall. This way, if the enemy routes my team and goes after them, their backs will be exposed to a turret and shotgun fire, provided by me, long enough to thin their forces and possibly kill the remaining hunters. If not, and the turret is destroyed, I have enough space to retreat and could make a dispenser jump up onto the crate and go over it if I had to."

"Good eye" Noah said "but it's not perfect."

"Really?" Cody asked. "Uh, what's it missing? Team access to the dispenser?"

"No" Zeke said "cause, like, can't you build more than one turret, eh?" Noah nodded.

"It's a great strategy for one level three turret there" Noah said "but where would that extra point go?"

"Uhhhh" Cody hummed, deeply thinking about it. With the stress compiling he felt frustrated, but soon reached a revelation. "Oh! I could use it beforehand to either build a personal dispenser for a lone-tactic soldier, like a spy or a scout, or modify a weapon before I got in place!"

"That's an A" Noah said. "Now Zeke, with a different strategy in mind, place your turret or turrets."

"Got it" he said. He received the marker from Cody, wiped away his marks with his sleeve and put four random dots with approximate, squiggly lines on the map while drawing a little stick-figure of himself in the middle of all of them. Noah was not impressed but he shrugged and gave an apathetic slip of habit.

"I'll give you a C for trying" he said. Zeke accepted it graciously with an arm-pump of victory and a sly trip back to his seat.

The Soldiers were all together examining their new weapons. As an offense-heavy class and sub-tank to the Heavies, their weapons focused on high-power, low-frequency shots. They had rocket launchers much like the extreme one Justin wielded in Dustbowl, one with super-fast straight-line launches and a removable clip of grenades as a magazine. Aside from that Sonic Bazooka they had a seemingly regular rocket launcher with a red-dot aiming sight on it. This was the Guided Missile weapon that functioned as their strategic substitute to raw and brute power. Their shotguns were tactical and had a closer grouping of bullets per shell with more narrow and long range, and their shovels could deepen any solid ground they stood on, provided it wasn't metal or hollow, by a meter, allowing for strategic trench digging. Anything thin like a plank walkway, could be broken by the shovels or at least have a hole made in it.

Justin was explaining the finer points of the weapons, which he had wielded before, to the others. Geoff was trying to make sense of it as best he could, and Beth and Sadie were trying to pay attention, but he was just too rugged and handsome holding such demanding weaponry to be dismissed. Their stares eventually drifted up to his eyes, their minds no longer distracted from his beauty by war. He grinned smugly, as if his war was won, and then smiled straight at them. These were the Drill-Seargent classes, two of whom fainted from a man's pure good looks.

"Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmyGOSH!!!" Lindsay cried. "Look! They're back!!!" She was looking down and adoring her crystal frame, golden lace, diamond-sole Sonic Pumps. "They're even better than I remembered!"

"They look great on you" Tyler said, trying to be smooth. Lindsay scoffed playfully and put her hand up to his mouth.

"Of course they look good on me, silly" she said. "I bought them, didn't I?"

"You did?" Tyler asked. Lindsay drew her hand away, now stunned by the curiosity.

"I don't know" she admitted. "Hey, Noah, did I buy these?" she asked.

"Sure" Noah replied simply. Lindsay squealed and grabbed Tyler by the arm.

"Come on!" she said. "I want to take them for a test-walk!"

"Okay then" Tyler said. Suddenly she was off as a blazing, blond blur. The Recon class had access to super-speed shoes that recharged after every sprint. While active, the bullets of most other classes would graze past them as they sped into the streams of fire, rendering them temporarily invulnerable to bullets, and able to outrace most explosions. Their weapons included the Double-Barrel shotgun in replacement of the Scattershot, having much more power and the ability to reload almost instantly. Their pistols were replaced with optional steady-grip three-burst round tactical machine-pistols that had sights on them regardless of grip, allowing for long-range tactical cover fire. And their bats were indestructible metal, but light as feather's to hold and swing with. Tactical, military clubs more than baseball bats, in fact.

The rest of the teams were either splitting the duties among their MVPs explaining what changes there were for the classes or training themselves against each other. Courtney explained all the different sights to the sniper rifle, the different bullet types to choose from, what advantages and disadvantages they harbored separately, and overall how she was different, and better, than he was as a normal sniper. DJ instructed the new Field Doctors on healing techniques and effective range and power of their mediguns while Gwen demonstrated proper saw-and-syringe combat, using DJ as a practice target, since the team's were currently off. Duncan, despite his and Leshawna's reluctance, taught her what being an Artillery-man class comprised.

"So you shove this grenade down" Duncan said.

"Uh-huh?" Leshawna stubbornly replied.

"And you aim through this sight" Duncan said, pointing to the sight on the mortar.

"Then fire?" Leshawna said.

"Yes" Duncan said "but you have to take into account-"

"The target's possible movement" Leshawna said.

"Yes" Duncan said, standing up to address her, "and your weapon of choice is?"

"This!" she said, holding up her open palm. Duncan shrugged and started walking away.

"Looks like you've got everything under control" Duncan said. "I'll leave the rest to you to figure out..."

"What a good teacher you are" Leshawna said over her shoulder.

Izzy, being the only Pyro, had nothing to say or teach to anyone. Instead she took herself to Chef, being the only other fighter free currently, and chided him into practicing unarmed combat with her in the unlikely but possible event that she runs totally out of ammunition before her enemy dies. At the moment, she was winning, with Chef's avatar in a backbreaker hold against the ground. One knee across his back, both of his arms and one of his legs brought up above that knee and held in tight submission locks with both her arms.

"AHHHH!!!" Chef screamed. "Damn you, Izzy! If you weren't underage I'd smack the hell outta you!"

"Don't let that stop you!" Izzy said. "Remember, in a court of criminal law, I'm technically an adult!"

"That's it" Chef growled. He yanked one of his arms free and grabbed Izzy's free leg which supported her to press down on his back. Her grip was released as he picked her up and threw her like a wet towel and she landed on her hands and the balls of her feet, limbs spread out like some sort of beast. "What're you supposed to be?" Chef asked panting.

"I'm a tiger" Izzy said with a mad, fanged grin "and I'm hungry for **Marmosets!**" Izzy pushed herself up and ran forward with arms extended and voice roaring. For a second, Chef feared for losing his life....after all, since he couldn't, he'd just have to get into another submission press by Izzy until he gave up again, and that was demeaning enough once...

* * *

A broad moment of anticipation and stayed breath passed as the staff was currently waiting for the word from their president. The pods had been located in the truck out front, he was currently in a meeting with the leading member of the volunteer testing committee assembled in conjunction with the Canadian broadcasting network, and all was quiet. Even the typing on keys had gradually died to a mute pace as the tension in the air became a strangling force in the throats of all who felt the tension.

Finally, after so much idle waiting, Chris came walking out of the door to the Presidential office hallway laughing, an arm slung around the heroic man's back. The President was smiling and nodding while Chris laughed, giving a life to the locked and stagnant air. The staff of the floor all sighed out in relief, the first real breath they'd taken since Chris adjourned to his meeting, now returning with an obviously positive result.

"Do we have any orders, Mr. McClean?" the stern man from earlier asked.

"Ah, yeah" Chris said. "And call be Chris, okay? Anyways, we've got a semi of your pods parked out front that need carrying in, and they're all hooked up to a motherboard terminal right now, so they can't be too far apart."

"We'll get them on our wireless server before we move them" the man said. "The signal strength here is so powerful, its radiation has made the nearby communities almost uninhabitable!" He and Chris shared a decent laugh, though his was markedly more sadistic in tone. "We'll place them in the testing room down below. We also have an extra pod, if you'd like to join them too."

"I think I will" Chris said. "There's one more thing I need you to do." Chris pulled out a piece of linty paper from his pocket and handed it over. On it was a password, written in indelible black ink, _TDTF_. "That's the password for a secure server of SteamSL operating out of our production company's headquarters. They're the other big player in our testing deal. We need in that server to challenge the Network heads to a game to win our freedom and manipulation of the chosen, willing press."

"We'll get hacking right away" the man said. The President pointed for his staff to disperse and help Chris. Then he made a 'round-up' motion with his arm waving and threw it down with a commanding face.

"I have no idea what you just did" Chris said, watching over his shoulder. The President just adjusted his glasses and shrugged with a smirk. It was the beginning of a fateful cooperation, a collaborative power to overthrow a giant of industry. The fate of 22 teens rested on their capabilities to perform in an active virtual-simulation video game. Indeed, the fate of reality-TV rested on **VIDEO GAMES!!!!**


	69. DAMnation SetUp

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

In no time flat, the game was beginning. The technicians and computer specialists in _Valve's_ Black Mesa wing were hard at work cracking through the codes of the privatized server and bypassing its security with Chris' password. The Network Executive's admin rights were stealthily removed from him while he was still in game and the pods were carted into the office, one by one, with batteries fully charged and connected.

"We've got a short window of time to do this" said the stern-faced office leader. "Get those pods set up on the network after you plug them in."

"Yes sir!" one of the larger heavy-lifters said as he carted the pod containing Owen across the hall. "By god, if we could fit this kid in here there really is no limit, eh?"

"Just be careful, alright?" Chris said. "Their minds are still in the idle server that you connected to the wireless, so their bound to be suffering from some sort of laggy-ness right now."

"Lag is barely a problem in this lab" the man said. "Experiencing a 0 ping for the amount of time they did may make it a little harder to adjust to non-instant millisecond transference of thought to action, but it's merely a product of the growing technological times. They'll manage to get used to it by the time the match has started, I think. That's how we designed the pods."

"All this time and money" Chris said "spent on making virtual reality games instead of curing diseases. You guys have a good gig! Nobody expects any miracles out of you!"

"Of course they do" the man said, tightening his hands on his clipboard. "It's always about the updates and the new games! 'Where's this class's stuff? When's Episode 3 coming out? Hey, don't you have any other series to be working on!?' It's like all the awards our games have won and all the credibility we have doesn't matter to them, the spoiled bastards!"

"Hey, take it easy pal" Chris said as the man started biting down on his plastic clipboard. "You might wanna watch what you say on TV, too." The man instantly regained his composure and continued ordering his staff around.

"Make sure we have enough cable" he said. "There are twenty-four pods total. Make sure you don't forget a single one."

"Twenty-four?" Chris said. "Wait a minute, we only have twenty-three. Who's going in the other one?" The man turned slowly toward Chris and sneered. ".....uh-"

"You signed up to be part of the testing, Mr. McClean" the man said. "If you want to fulfill your obligations, we need the data from your dry-run combat situation! Without it we're one part down in an experiment where all the parts have marked significance to the whole!"

"Wait a minute" Chris said, backing away. "I want to read my contract one more time." He was caught by two of the stronger men in lab-coats and held tight. He tried to struggle for a bit, then gave up and shrugged. "Well, whatevs. As long as I can save my career and the lives of these kids, then by God, I'll do whatever I can!" He was unhanded and brushed his sleeves off, walking himself over to the area where all the pods were being taken alone.

"Stay with him" the stern man said to the two men. "He's obviously going to make a run for it soon..." They nodded and went after Chris again, running around the corner he disappeared behind.

The technicians and mechanics in charge of maintaining the pods were carefully guiding them in place and hooking them up to a myriad of wires and cables that led to huge conduits and consoles nearby. The contestants were taken into the main testing facility where the pods were first build and developed from the ground up. The mechanics stood on ladders and opened up small panels in the top of each pod to pour in the contents of a freeze-dried food bag which mixed into the circulating liquids in the tubes and supplied nourishment directly to the body of each person. The liquids were also replaced and the filters that they passed through were cleaned out with high-powered waterguns to keep the system free of clogs and backed-up bodily fluids.

The entire lab was riddled with machines. The walls were dark with metal panels and the whole wide room had a mysterious deep-blue glow. The pods were lit up and the bodies taken out of cryogenic preservation, back into the mode that the pods were built for. Now they were live, floating in liquid air with hooks and tubes running all through them, their minds linked up to a server far away. One of the pods drained and opened itself, which Chef stepped from and shook and stood in the lab, shaking his head.

"Whoa" he said. "Looks like we got abducted."

"Not quite" one of the stout, nerdy looking scientists said. "This is the Steam Room, where the Steam and Source 'Sim-Life' versions were designed, developed and tested with our patented 'Steam Tubes'. All the kids have been properly linked up with the server, and are awaiting a full simultaneous transmission."

"So the battle is about to start!?" Chef said. "Damn. Get me back in there. I want to get some of this action myself."

"Just one moment, sir" the man said. "Since you just came out, we need to perform a short survey and test to see what the effects of prolonged stasis have done to your body."

"I ain't got time for that!" Chef exclaimed. "Those kids are going to war, and I'm their Master Chief-in-Command! They're gonna need me now, more than ever, if they want to win!"

"Looks like they're already doing fine without you" the man said, pointing upward. A huge monitor, bigger than any screen Chef had seen anywhere aside from a movie theater, descended and locked itself into place on the wall. Through that Chef could see twenty-four screens in rows of five-by-five, each the size of an above-average TV screen, with three blanked out in the lower right-hand corner. Each camera was a first-person view of its representing contestant and their portraits were displayed down at their health.

"Damn" Chef said in awe. "Well, now I have to ask, how are you going to make this work? You can't watch every screen at the same time!"

"Oh" the man said, adjusting his glasses with smugness, "we've had our own share of practice, sir. Watching and reporting on thirty individuals in the same gaming session every day, multiple times for the last few weeks in an attempt to catch cheaters has given all of us the remarkable ability to divide our attention to a nearly unlimited amount and still stay focused."

"He says that" another man, thin and tall with spiky red hair crowned around a bald spot began, "but really, it's just guess work. We know what a soldier will do, what a demoman or a spy or a sniper is bound to do during a match, so we just leave those screens be and focus on whichever single one of any given class is doing the most and report on them as special cases, sort of." Chef looked up at the monitors. He saw them all in a huge spawn room, gearing up and preparing their strategies. Gwen's screen was moving the most as she went from person to person that were lined up, all the major offensive players, and instructed them one at a time. Noah was instructing the defensive players. Courtney took aside the special classes, herself, Trent, the spies and Izzy, to discuss their own plan and methods as a separate team in their own right.

"I've taught them well" Chef said, crossing his arms and nodding.

"Indeed" the skinny man said. "Now, let's get you on the probing table! We've got a lot of quick and painful tests to run!" Chef's body went rigid and stunned. He had forgotten, briefly, about the tests they had to run...

* * *

The instructions began with the teams organizing themselves into their proper sections. Gwen took up lead of the offensive team, being the medic with the best front-line experience in both healing and combat. She commanded all the scouts, heavies and soldiers.

"Alright everyone" she began, standing in front of a map pinned to the wall. "This looks like it's going to be a huge map. We're starting here, in the dam on the left, and our objective is all the way over here in the dam on the right." Gwen pressed on the side of the map and it automatically changed to a smaller area map with their current room as the starting point and three points arranged in a linear fashion between their start and the enemies. "Looks like it's going to be another Dustbowl kind of map. We need to capture all the points in sequence before moving on to the next map." Gwen pressed the map again and it became sectioned out into three separate parts.

"Looks like it's on three different floors" Owen said. "I guess that means we'll have to go through a bunch of stairs."

"Not up to it?" Eva said.

"No, that's fine with me" Owen said. "If I have enough health, I can just fall or roll down the stairs, and that should take care of anyone who's trying to climb up them."

"Hmm" Eva began. "That's...actually not a bad idea. You just better hope your medic is up to it."

"I'm not about to abandon Owen" Gwen said. "We've been great as a team since the beginning."

"""

"It's only the toxic smells that come from behind him I can't tolerate" Gwen easily admitted.

"""

"Eva, you and DJ will lead the charge" Gwen said. "Make your way directly to the first point and start capping it immediately. Lindsay, you stick with them and provide cover fire where and when necessary. Just basically run around and shoot any enemy you see, or hit them with your bat."

"Okay!" Lindsay said. She turned and smiled at Eva, who broke her soldierly discipline to humor her with a smile.

"""

"It hurts my mouth too much to smile" Eva said, rubbing her jaw. "It's the one muscle in my body I haven't toned to perfection....yet."

"""

"Owen and I will take Tyler and go to the second point while you guys cap the first" Gwen continued. "The sooner we can break their defenses the sooner we can all move on together and really overwhelm them."

"What about us?" Beth asked.

"Particularly the two of us" Justin said, pointing to himself and Beth. "We've never had any medics committed to us."

"All the soldiers will travel together" Gwen said "and the medics will have to mediate between them. If one soldier is nearly dead, you should heal them up before returning to your preferred team. Bridgette, Katie, you think you can handle it?"

"Sure thing" Bridgette said.

"As long as I don't go to far from Sadie" Katie said.

"Oh, don't worry about me" Sadie said. "I can survive on my own long enough for you to come back to me. Unless you die."

"Or if you die" Katie said.

"Well, yeah" Sadie said.

"The soldier team will move ahead" Gwen said "and concentrate fire on destroying buildings. Owen and I will be an anti-infantry team. We'll fight off their offense while you destroy their defenses. Snipers, Sentries, Demomen; anything that could easily stop us in our tracks from capping the point."

"Got it!" Sadie and Katie both exclaimed.

"Let's do it!" Geoff shouted.

"Is that all?" Justin arrogantly said.

"No" Gwen said, taking Justin on. "Actually, Justin, since the enemy will most likely be drawn to you before anyone else on the battlefield, why don't you act as a distraction while the rest of the soldiers destroy the defenses? You probably won't die, but if you have to lead the enemy too far from battle you'll definitely have to survive on your own." Justin gulped.

"""

"I should know better, honestly" Justin said. "Gwen's got her eyes on Trent now, and she's the kind of girl to snap at sarcasm like a piranha. Oh well. If she wants a distraction, then I'll make it so that even the cameras will have to follow me. By the time we win, not even the audience will know it happened."

"""

With Gwen leading the offense, Noah took to the defense, the engineers and demo-persons, to set up a perfect defensive system.

"Alright" Noah began, "let's start with senty plans. Anyone have any novel ideas?" Cody raised his hand. "This isn't a class. If you have something just speak up."

"Right," Cody said, standing up, "Sorry. Um, instead of having single sentries that can get sapped really easily, I suggest we use four sentries each and spread them out a bit. That way the enemy has to concentrate on destroying one at a time when we can easily rebuild them somewhere else, and we don't have to worry about maintaining them that much if we move up fast enough."

"That's a good idea" Noah said. "I'd like us to spread out fully-built dispensers after we cap a point and set up mini-bases. I've programmed my box to set up a dispenser and teleporter exit at the same time. I suggest you guys try doing the same thing." Zeke went to work, combining properties of his building mechanism, and created his own mini-base setting that built a dispenser, exit and level one sentry all at once. "Just remember, the more stuff you program to build at once, the longer it takes and you can't move them around. Just find a good, out of the way corner and set up after the first cap."

"What should we do to help capture, then?" Zeke asked.

"If you want" Noah said "you can rush in and help fight. You have an automatic shotgun and a decently powerful revolver. There's no reason why you shouldn't try fighting if you think it would help." Zeke pumped his arm, accidentally bumping the button on his building pad and adding a level two sentry to his base instead of a level one, increasing the build time to its maximum limit.

"""

"I'm getting kinda pumped up here, eh" Zeke said. "I mean, this pre-battle talking is sorta boring, but I can't wait to be in there with bullets flying and stuff! It'll be like some kind of war movie going on, except I'll be in it, and I guess it's not a movie, but a show. Hehe. Still, it'll be really cool."

"""

"So what's our plan?" Leshawna asked.

"If this map is merciful" Noah said "and our capture points lock once we claim them, your jobs will be primarily offense related. You'll do what you can to move the teams ahead. If our points are available to be retaken at any time, one or both of you will have to keep them covered. You'll also want to pick and choose which hallways the enemy gets to come out of by mining the ones they can't."

"That's it?" Duncan asked.

"It looks like we're fighting indoors" Noah said "so use your mortars a bit sparingly. If you see a staircase, shoot some grenades down it just to make sure it's clear. Basically, I'm leaving your parts up to your common sense. You've both done well enough without other people leading you all the time, so I'll just trust you to work together." Leshawna and Duncan looked at each other. He smirked, somewhat mockingly and nefariously, and she glared at him to try and get him to relent.

"""

"Obviously" Noah began "that's not the best plan I can come up with on the spot like that. They'll figure it out eventually, though. Hopefully before the first round is over."

"""

The special team, meanwhile, talked in a more conspiring way.

"Trent, you go left" Courtney said "and find a spot, any spot, to snipe from. I'll go right. But remember, don't go out immediately. They're bound to have snipers already waiting before those gates open to hit the first thing they see."

"Got it" Trent said. "I'll sneak out behind Owen."

"Good" Courtney said. "Heather, Harold, you two know what you should do, right?"

"Cloak our way behind enemy lines" Heather said "and kill off anyone who proves to hard for the rest of them to handle."

"I'll handle the controlled chaos" Harold said "by sapping sentries when a lot of dudes are huddled around them. Then I can at least shoot once without harm to keep with the illusion that I'm on their side. Then I'll kill whichever engineer comes by to repair the sentry and fake-death my way out."

"Sounds perfect" Courtney said.

"What do I do?" Izzy asked, excited as a puppy from the talk of elaborate war plans and duplicitous murdering. "Huh huh huh?"

"Izzy" Courtney began, "you're a front-line fighter, but that's not your only job. Stay up and keep the enemies back as long as you can, but the second you see or hear or somehow sense a spy, you double back and protect the rest of the team. You need to spray fire on anyone suspicious or out of place, understood?"

"Yes" Izzy said. "I'll be everything at once, fighter and spy-checker, all for the sake of my team!"

"Thatta girl" Courtney said. "Alright, are we all solid on the plans?" The four nodded to her and she broke the group from their huddle. Heather and Harold went off to the corner of the room while Trent reported to Gwen. Noah and Courtney met to reconvene their strategies together.

"You got it under control?" Noah asked.

"Of course" Courtney said.

"Alright team" Noah called. "The radio will be open channel. That means anyone can call everyone. Don't abuse it."

"I'm in charge of coordinating offense" Courtney called. "If you need extra force or concentrated fire, you go through me and I will deliver orders as needed."

"Likewise, I'm on defense" Noah said. "Once we move up I'll take priority over setting everything up in time. Between offensive pushes I'll manage most of the team until Courtney needs to take control for a specific objective."

"Everyone clear?" Courtney asked. There were no objections whatsoever. "Heavy-Medics in the front. Soldiers behind. Engineers take cover from camping fire. Pyro to the front, Snipers and Spies to the rear. Scouts, take opposite flanks! Get ready to fight!!!" The team mobilized in a flash and was ready, standing at the gate and waiting as a clock they couldn't see began its final countdown...

* * *

In that same overall map, at the very end, sitting on a chair while modders worked on the animation designs for his legs so he could walk around was the Network Executive Producer. He was unaware, at the moment, that his entire office was the final capture point of the map that had been activated, the last in the very long ling of objective goals to be defended by the attacking team. The map, in itself, was only three parts long like most other maps of its type. The start, in the opposite dam, the middle being the dried riverbed march from dam to dam, and then the final areas being inside the dam that he sat in. Little did he know that the game was already afoot, and the bots programmed with gaming minds were already moving out to defend the faraway dam.

"Looks like we're just about ready now" one of the modders said. "Try standing up." The Producer pushed off of his chair and stood on his own two legs with an evil grin. He took a step forward and his leg bent like uncooked bacon. His body dipped down with each wobbly step as he slowly made his way to the window. "Uh, we'll fix that now, sir."

"Is this server locked?" the man asked.

"Of course it is" one of the modders said. "Private party only. It's the most locked it can get."

"I see" the man said. He was looking over the expanse of the carved-out riverbed, one with many trenches and bridges and barriers and bunkers to move through in any event of a fight. "And the floodgate weapons are available during the second phase, correct?"

"Yes sir" the modder said "but only from the rearmost second portion of the map. You can flood the rest of the map, but the effects are temporary and anyone in the bunkers is unaffected."

"That's good" he said. "Very good. So, what options do I have to control what happens in the first phase right now?"

"None" one of the men said. "This is the third phase area. The first phase area is the other dam, and there's no control for that."

"Both dams" the other began "are built for two map types, Capture Area and Capture the Flag with the middle ground acting as the main playing field and only a limited amount of each base action as the actual base in such games."

"No Payload option?" the man asked.

"We're still working on that" one of the men said. "Most likely, that will work the same as the current Capture Area model does, only with a track and each point being a checkpoint instead."

"And when a team wins" the other man said "the whole dam bursts! It's awesome! It's still developmental, but what we have looks so cool!"

"Does the other dam have floodgate functions?" the man asked.

"I don't think so" one of the men said. "If they did, all they could do is flood the river to cover most of the trenches. The only actual gate in that dam is the one that drains the river into this one. All the floodgates to this dam are a lot higher up." The Producer squinted his eyes as his legs were worked and bent in all sorts of odd, impossible angles to work out the kinks in his walking cycle.

"What are those lights for?" the man asked. One of the modders looked out the window and saw several lights strobing in the distance, coming from windows in the lower workings of the dam where the initial area was.

"Game lights" he replied. "Looks like the builders are testing the map again."

"Hmmmm" the Producer hummed in deep thought. "I didn't tell them to test it again....are you certain there are builders left over there?"

"Must be" one of them said. The man turned around and his legs swung numbly, kicking them both square in the face by accident.

"Well it can't be!" he declared. "I dismissed all the builders but you two the moment they were done building!!!"

"Then...." one of the modders began, "it must be an....actual game?" He looked at his partner who looked down at the floor in surprise.

"I thought this was a secure server!" the man shouted. "A private game! **Password Protected!?**"

"I guess..." one of them began "someone...broke through?"

"Go over there this instant!" he shouted, hovering around without using his legs at all. "Fix this! Beat them so badly that they all ragequit and leave, then get a better firewall up, or so help me, **I'll roast your bodies and use THAT as my FIREWALL!!!!"**

"Ah, I'm sorry" the Producer said, almost immediately after his explosive burst. "The voice for this model has a lot of threatening banter. Just please go fix it, please, gentlemen." The modders nodded and hurried out of the room. With his legs still basically useless, the Producer hovered over and sat back in his chair. He sighed and leaned back into it, staring up at the capture point painting on the ceiling of the room that had just appeared out of nowhere. Then, suddenly, that painting started to fall down. The Producer flicked a switch on the arm of his chair and sped forward on automatic wheels just as a huge capture point smashed down onto the open floor and a border of yellow-black stripped tape surrounded it tightly.

"Looks like the game is on now" he said. He leaned against the window and saw the lights flashing off in the distance, blaring klaxons of battle colored Red. "Very well, Chris. Show me what you've learned!!!" The Producer sat back in his chair, watching over the battlefield as his window turned into a huge screen with multiple camera feeds from the initial area coming through. Red team bots were moving around using the basic, life-like movement augmented models of the original nine classes. Two engineers guarded the point with strategically placed sentries build in blind corners and their backs to dispensers. A Demoman covered the point with stickies, as well as the area nearby, then equipped his grenade launcher and took a spot at the opposite wall to crouch at.

Two Heaveis were spinning their miniguns up but only one was being healed by a medic. Two other medics existed, one healing a Scout that ran around swinging a bat in the area around the first control point, and the other healed a soldier that shot rockets at the wall in front of it to speed up the ubercharge meter. A sniper edged out just enough to see the metal sliding door of the enemy base through his scope. A spy chose a disguise and held in a corner beside the entrance, ready with a knife in his hand to charge out and take whoever came out down first. This team had two pyros that ran around randomly and taunted in front of the enemy spawn gate before running back away, just to let them know they were there....

"Looks good" the Producer said. He pressed a button and summoned an extra arm of his chair to circle around from the back and unfold into a keyboard. The camera feeds separated enough to give a wide working space that the producer used. It read on team status, individual member health and ammo, position, battle-conditions and overall kill/death count. He had the ability to manage how each bot acted on the field, registering threat levels to each enemy on a purly situational basis so the bots would concentrate on doing exactly what he wanted them to do. Aside from that, their programming was running off of something up in the corner of his control panel called 'CPU_Reg001_test(GRANARY)type', the data of the first match of _Total Drama Team Fortress_ and all the contestants in each class.

"Let us test each other, Chris McClean!" he declared. "Your hapless, hosting wit against my military brilliance! **Mission BEGIN!!!**" And with that, the gates of war were opened, and out came the fires or wrath!!!

* * *

Chris was thrown into the testing lab forcibly and landed siding on his chest. He picked himself up and scowled at the door just as the beefy men who had tossed him in closed it and left. "Who thought nerds could be so ripped?" Chris said. He turned and faced the bespectacled scientist who cocked an eyebrow at him and pulled at his collar. "So, uh, into the thing now, right?"

"Not quite yet" the skinnier man said. "Apparently, the admin of the server has already discovered the unregistered players in the map. He's changed the code."

"That jerk!" Chris said with a snap of his fingers. "Darn! What a shame! Guess the kids are on their own now, right?"

"Not at all" the smaller man said. He took Chris by the sleeve and led him over to a wide terminal with a speaker and headset attached. He knew what was coming as he was handed the headset and the speaker was clicked on. "Go ahead and talk to them if you want. They've still got a few seconds before the match starts." Chris set down the headset calmly and stepped elegantly away from the mechanical stand.

"No" he said, "it'd be too disheartening for them to know that I'm still watching. After all, they've always sought wisdom in me, and had total confidence in every bit of advice I've ever given them. True, I've never played any of your games, and until the merge and testing contracts cleared, and I saw how much extra cash I'd get, I've never even heard of you. But now, I know what quality makes a good General of warfare. It is not how tight you hold, but how well your team fights on their own."

"Throw the baby in!" Chef bellowed as he pulled himself from a door, lacking all his clothes but his chef's hat and boxers. "He's just whining and crying again!" Chef was pulled in by robot arms, but did one last pull up on the door's frame before he was jerked back into the chemical bath. Chris looked off in that direction for a while, and motioned like he was about to speak, but relented. He really didn't have _anything_ to say.

"Until then" the man said, "I suppose you can just watch..." Chris looked up at the myriad of monitors, three of which were open, and looked straight toward the middle at Owen's first-person view. He saw that, instead of a cross with a number, Owen saw his own health as a pie which was stacked full with filling to the point that the crust was stretching and nearly ready to burst clear open. Chris chuckled at that. Then he saw Izzy's which was her own face, and he dreaded to see what would happen to her health as if fell in combat. The countdown came to its closing marks.

5

4

3

2

1......

* * *

The match begins! It's going to be war, **TOTAL WAR!!!** The MVP team against the Producer-controlled bot team. Plus, those two modders yet to arrive at the warzone. This is the final battle: the climactic season finale war to determine everyone's ultimate fate! Will Chris be penelized on the full authority of the Canadian government for illegally shipping twenty-two teenagers across counrty borders, or will winning somehow help him? Find out as the last dramatic map is played. Stay tuned for more: _**DAMNATION!!!!**_


	70. DAMnation 1

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

Once the doors opened it was nothing but rampant carnage until the last body fell. The entire defending Red team fell, and team Purple team suffered no casualty.

"Scouts, move!" Courtney commanded. Lindsay and Tyler took opposite flights from their base and sped out into an open, concrete-constructed area that led into an open doorway that went down as a ramp. At the end of the ramp was another open area, but Lindsay and Tyler were forced to retreat before they could see all of it, as three level-three sentries pinged on them. They were sent back up the ramp by rocket blasts. Lindsay landed on her feet but Tyler landed on his wrist and fell in a pile of himself that twitched in pain.

"Sentries ahead!" Lindsay said. Bridgette healed Tyler quickly and started on Lindsay.

"Spies, go!" Courtney commanded. Heather and Harold were already gone. "Soldier's, move up! Medics on!" Bridgette and Katie took to Geoff and Sadie as the teams moved up. Meanwhile, the spies picked dark hallways to decloak in and came out in the disguises of generic engineer models.

"""

"So this is what it's like" Heather said "to be a pre-made 3-D mess of a model. Good lord, look at my hands! They're as big as my head!!!"

"""

Using their elite MVP-grade sappers, the spies went to work destroying all the sentries while the engineers that built them sprang out from behind their dispensers and opened fire on them.

"It was a trap!" Harold exclaimed. "Quick, finish the buildings off!" He and Heather dropped their disguises and sliced the buildings apart with their swords, then made a retreat just as the soldiers came down and opened fire with super-fast rocket launcher blasts that made quick, gibby work of the engineers and their dispensers.

"Move it up!" Geoff called. The engineers efforts were dashed and opened the open, hallway-connected room up to the offending Purple team. There were three paths to take: the narrow maintenance duct that Harold and Heather disguised themselves in, a wider hallway that two Heavies could move through, and a hallway apart from either of them that connected to a stairwell leading down.

"Let's not just stand around like idiots" Heather said. "Spies could already be around here. Harold and I will take the smaller hallway. A Heavy-Medic team should take the wider one."

"Zeke" Courtney said, as she and the rest of the team came forward, "you set up a defense here first."

"Got it" Zeke said.

"No matter which way we take" Gwen said "we're bound to get to the point. So, anyone not enganging in direct combat should flank with the spies."

"Just stay behind us by a bit" Harold said. "It we come out at the same time, we'll get found out and checked."

"Alright" Izzy said, "I'll go first and check if it's alright." She ran down the ramp and faced the spin-up of Heavy miniguns. She jumped back suddenly and reported with a frazzled face. "There's _three_ of them!"

"And three medics!?" Gwen exclaimed. Izzy tapped her lower lip thoughtfully and turned to check again, but the Heavies were already making their way up slowly. Owen and Eva stepped forward to face them down with their wildly superior firepower, backed by the equally superior healing of their own personal MVP medics. Izzy took her back to a corner while Beth and Justin formed direct flanks. The second the guns started firing, the enemy Heavie's were dropped and four soldiers came charging int, firing and retreating, then changing their order of attack at total random to confuse the players. The damage was slowly outdoing the healing, but the Heavies stood strong. Izzy leaped ou in front and deflected a rocket blast directly into a soldier just as he popped out. However, she was blasted forward by the splash explosion from off of Owen's stomach and was shotgunned down immediately.

"Damn!" Courtney exclaimed, the last one to leave into the duct. "I didn't expect to get anyone down for a while yet!"

"You think _that's _bad!?" Izzy called from between spawning. "The respawn time is **a whole freaking minute!**"

"WHAT!?" the team shouted.

"This can't get better" Duncan said. Leshawna smacked him in the back of the head, the advantage of travelling behind him, and pushed him forward. At the end of the duct was an opening that led onto the floor of the first control-point room. It was wide and open with crates stacked around the point to make a low wall, just high enough to crouch and hide behind, but with many small holes a sniper could shoot through. At one far end was a steep staircase that curved around and led straight down to the lower floor. Against the wall opposite the control point, where the duct opened out to, was a shelf backed by piping and metal mesh covering. Overall, it was a plain and open point with no great surprises or unexpected corners to be turned.

Heather and Harold went out immediately, taking the guises of an Engineer and Sniper respectively. Just as suspected, Harold found two snipers crouched down at the point, lying in wait for the enemy to come. A Demoman was covering the point with sticky grenades and, once finished, equipped his regular grenade launcher and took to the front lines, lobbing grenades at the slope so that they bounced straight up in the faces of the advancing offensive line. The soldiers took their fully-automatic tactical rifles out and made medium-range, quick work of the Demoman. His stickies disappeared.

"Here they come!" Harold exclaimed in a faked voice. He took up his fake rifle as the other snipers did the same, and just before the two synchronized their fire their fingers became frozen in place and frozen in mid-trigger pull. Their heads slowly slid off as Harold's disguise went slowly away, turning to smoke and noise as the point capture began. Once the Heavies hit the floor nothing lasted long. Heather ran with a retreating Scout and Pyro to the steep steps and killed them one after the other as she descended, stealing the Pyro's identity and going out into the next phase of the map.

"I've got a report here" Heather called. "The next stretch at the bottom of the stairs is nothing but straight hallway. It's about one-and-a-half of those wider rooms long and just narrow enough to file down one at a time."

"Well that sucks" Courtney said.

"I found something else!" Zeke said.

"What did you find?" Noah asked. "You're supposed to be on defense."

"A Spy tried sapping my sentries, eh" Zeke said "so I chased him down, and wound up near the end of the hall that Heather's talking about. AHHH-" His transmission was promptly cut off.

"Sounds like he died" Noah said. "Alright, everyone on the point. I'm going to set up a mini-base." He threw down his toolbox and he and Cody started hammering on the construct as it unfolded and widened and rose itself up into a full dispenser and small sentry with room for an engineer to stand with his back to either and hammer at the other.

"Everyone's on" Courtney said. "Just how fast is it going?" Noah looked at his PDA builder and saw the stat of the capture in progress. Even with twenty people on, the cap just barely went up, inching its way into an approximate ten-second cap.

"Oh, that's not right" Noah said.

"What?" Courtney asked.

"Apparently" he began "with a twenty-person multiplier, it takes ten seconds." The team's faces all fell at once. Noah started crunching numbers and came to an empirical conclusion. "That means it takes 200 seconds, approximately, to capture a point with a single person."

"Wait a second" Courtney said, "are you counting the Scout capture bonus?"

"Cody and I aren't on the point" Noah said, making the obvious observation that he and Cody were in fact building his mini-base setup off in a corner away from the point. The point was captured regardless, and once Noah had the metal from his dispenser necessary he threw down a teleporter exit bear his small base. "I'm going to set up a battle-field route to this base. If you're almost dead, or need to retreat, then use whatever entrance I drop and you'll come back up here."

"That sounds like a good plan" Courtney said. "Now, we've got to get organized and rush the next point! The more time we spend here-" Headshot from the other room. A sniper quickly retreated from the top of the ramp and went back into the other room. Feeling anxious, Geoff hopped up onto the boxes and fired a random rocket that hit and blew up an invisible spy in the middle of the room.

"Booyah!" he exclaimed.

"Looks like that stairway works both ways" Noah said. "Alright, everyone forward. Keep your backs guarded and your defenses closed. Izzy, if you can hear me, make sure you make good use of your spy-checking."

"Oh, big 10-4" she said. "I'm almost up, too. Those guys are in for a world of **fire** when I find them!"

"Good attitude" Noah said, turning down his radio. The Heavies took point and descended the stairs, Eva and DJ first, then Owen and Gwen who had to take their time carefully going down so as not to threaten an accidental Owen Landslide. The soldiers went after them, with Beth and Justin last. The rest of the team chose from their flanking options. Trent went with the main offense group to snipe from the rear, while the Scouts chose to take the shorter route together and went backwards for the stairs. The spies did the same while Cody stayed to set up his own defense and Noah moved forward with the main group to get his teleporter working.

"And just what are you doing?" Leshawna asked to Duncan, who was resting with his back against a corner and his grenade mortar out.

"What's it look like?" Duncan said. "Strategic defense. I can't get backstabbed, but I can shoot."

"You look like a fool" Leshawna said. "This point isn't going to turn back anytime soon."

"How do _you_ know that?" Duncan asked. "Seriously, if it takes that long to cap, they might as well have put in some bullcrap failsafe that requires at least one attacker on the point at a time to actually _keep_ it capped. I'm just trying to cover our bases here."

"It isn't showing the point is even locked" Noah said as he passed them by. "I guess our worst assumptions were realized. If we don't stay with the point, we'll lose it, simple as that." Noah took out his shotgun and took the opposite corner from Duncan, resting his back in a stab-proof way, his eyes and gun barrel constantly moving like a living, non-mechanical sentry.

"Alright" Leshawna said. "You two have fun defending, then. I'm going with the flank."

"""

"Duncan's just lucky" Leshawna hotly began "that his bad attitude ending up helping us. I don't think it'll be happening again soon."

"""

* * *

At the bottom of the stairs the assault began as Eva started spinning up her minigun. Her health was topped to 600 even by her super-Medic DJ. Each second he healed his ally his own health increased by six, three per half-second, and kept going over its top up to cap at 200% its base maximum. Eva started walking forward. A sniper popped out, aimed up and fired a perfect headshot for over three-hundred damage, then managed to duck away from the torrent of bullets just before he was killed. He called for a medic, one of which came around the corner. The sniper crouched down and took careful, approximate aim with his scope, pre-charging his shot to shoot as soon as he rounded the corner.

"You may feel a slight _pinch_" said the Doctor in a menacing German accent. The sniper was suddenly impaled from behind with a sword and his body kicked down as it let out its death groan. Heather swung her sword clean and vanished just as a spy-checking Pyro stormed around the corner spraying fire. She retreated just in time as Eva came around the corner, smashing into the wall in her high speed, with her tactical shotgun wielded. The Pyro made confusing strafing maneuvers but stayed near enough for its fire to reach. Eva outgunned it eventually and stayed on even health as the healing stream from DJ easily doused the fires. Heather reappeared behind Eva and gave her a firm pat on the back.

"Way to go, girl" she said. "You made that look easy."

"That's because it was" Eva said. "DJ, take a priority on team healing from here out. If Heather's getting hit, let me defend myself, got it?"

"Roger that" DJ said. Eva reloaded her shotgun and started walking forward, not even bothering with taking out her minigun, as DJ trailed close behind. "Just get close to me if you get hurt" DJ said. "I'll switch in a snap."

"Thanks" Heather said. "Well, I'm off to cause trouble. I'll see you behind enemy lines." Heather promptly vanished and sped off, masking herself while invisible and heading toward the next enemy checkpoint.

"""

"Call me crazy" Heather began "but even in the middle of all the carnage, bloodshed and murder, it feels good to be recognized as a friend. DJ's not selective with his friendliness, but I think that being respected by Eva is a huge step for me. Maybe I can learn to be a good person through all this pointless, rampant fighting and mayhem."

"""

As soon as Heather turned the corner she saw the next point, hidden inside an enclosed room with four Pyros making a circular patrol, constantly firing their flamethrowers to check for spies. There were three sentries in the room, which was mostly closed off and narrow due to the extra rooms and hallways connected to it near the base. Two Soldiers guarded the exit doorway that led to the next point and she could hear two heavies and medics coming that both announced at the same time their charge was ready. Heather ducked back away and decloaked, facing a charging Eva with a rapidly shaking head. Then, suddenly, Heather felt a sharp sting of pain in her back and fell forward with a generic Spy behind her twirling a knife in his fingers.

"Oh" Heather groaned as she died, "lame!" Eva unloaded immediately and killed the spy before it managed to run off, but Heather was completely dead and stuck between spawns.

"I bet _she's_ got a pretty little speech for _that_" Eva said with a smug, sarcastic grin. The rest of the team started moving down after Eva with the hallway cleared.

"I'm building a sentry" Cody said. "I'll only upgrade it to level two and build another one a little further ahead."

"Go ahead!" Courtney said as she ran past.

"We've got snipers!" Eva said. "They got me....but I'm alive. I've got less than 200 health, so I'm going to hang back and heal for a second. Requesting defense to move up."

"What's the forecast?" Courtney asked. She turned the corner and saw three charging Pryos. She immediately backpeddled while Eva wound up her minigun and ubered to hold them off.

"It's sunny" Eva said "with a chance of ****** YOOOOOU!!!"**

"""

"I often worry for Eva's mental stability" Courtney admitted. "Then again, it's not entirely my problem. As long as she's projecting her anger issues in a productive, team-friendly way, there isn't any _real_ problem with her!"

"""

Eva and DJ charged full-force into the room with minigun loudly whirring. She faced two Heavies, two Soldiers, three level-three Sentries and the remaining single Pyro. One of the soldiers began to backpedal and get out of the enormous cloud of fire as the rest of his allies started firing and obliterating Eva's charge. She was forced back against the wall with a solid stream of bullets and fired blindly as her body was pressed and pushed by explosion after explosion, bullet after bullet. The long soldier ignoring combat stepped near a turret, fired a rocket that blew up near Eva and reloaded. When his hand reached down to take a rocket, he lid it briefly on the turret he was near, and then moved behind the line completely. Soon the turret started to spark and crackle, and the damage of a sapper without its presence started to occur as it still fired.

"Spy 'round here!" the Engineer tending the turret called. He hammered it with his wrench, trying to get the object off, but his turret continued to static and shoot sparks while still aiming and shooting for Eva. Before too long, the soldier disappeared and the turret changed color. No longer hot-rod red, but brilliant violet, and it suddenly turned on its own Engineer, blasting the man apart suddenly. It turned then counter-clockwise and homed on the nearest enemy, the soldier, who still concentrated his fire on the invulnerable Heavy Eva. Once the rockets blasted out the soldier was thrown away and against the wall where the bullets juggled him in the air.

"Hehehenn!" the rogue soldier laughed menacingly from behind the two medics. He took their necks, one in each hand, and gave a quick jerk, snapping their necks and turning their jaws to face upward.

"Mein Got!!!" one of the medics hollered as he died. The Heavies were no longer being healed, and the soldier went forward, its body dissolving in smoke, and drove a sword through one of their backs. The other Heavy looked to see his team-mate dead with a sword tipped out of his gut and saw the spy, sleek and elite Harold, standing guard behind his body.

"Boo, biggie!" Harold said. He started to strafe to the side with the Heavy as his meaty shield and made his way to the point. The still-defending Pyro pulled out a flare gun and fired, catching the corpse of his team-mate on fire as Harold quickly ducked behind it. Then minigun fire started to shake his solid shield and forced him back in quick slides with each bullet impact. The Pyro rushed off of the point, and immediately it started to get capped at a painfully slow rate. Courtney took a knee, her eye to her scope and fired. The Pyro's head disappeared and its body mindlessly ran forward into the wall where it fell over. Harold managed to pull his sword out and dodge-roll into the point, but not without throwing a few knives that damaged the Heavy, and soon thereafter the Heavy was destroyed by minigun fire and the room was cleared by Eva. Her gun spun down and started clicking empty shells.

"Damn" Eva said as her uber wore off. "The timing for that just sort of sucked...."

"We won" Courtney shouted from inside the closed point. "Focus on that!"

"Get your back to a wall" Harold said. Courtney saw three entrances, two from the main open room that had just been cleared and one from a hallway that was completely closed and connected to an unseen route for the enemy team. Courtney hit the wall and crouched down with her automatic out and aimed at the door. Harold switched his position to take his back right next to the hallway opening and took out his sword. He and Courtney made sure to stay within sight of each other completely.

"Yo, bros!" Geoff said, sliding into scene between them. "That was a righteous job, you guys!"

"Nicely done" Bridgette said. "You guys cleaned up house nicely.

"I'm planting a sentry out here" Cody said.

"Try it in here first!" Courtney exclaimed. Cody rushed in and placed a sentry right in the doorway that Courtney and Harold were guarding. Unseen, from around the corner, some mad soldiers were rushing in. Two Demomen and a lone Scout speeding up from behind them.

"Scouts to the point!" Harold called over the radio.

"Bad news!" Lindsay called. "We're under attack at the first point! Were were on our way, but Tyler got back-stabbed, and I had to chase the spy! They're also camping our respawn point."

"""

"I did what I could" Tyler said without regret for his own embarassing death. "Anything to save my girl! I'm a chival-rist like that. Or, chauvanist? Uh...I'm....that kind of guy, who saves girls lives when they're in danger while putting himself in danger at the same time, because I'm tough enough to handle it!"

"""

"Oh, don't cry about all that, kid" Izzy said.

"You're alive!?" Courtney said. "Great! Izzy, clear a path! Get rid of those campers!" Izzy pulled a mask over her face with her eyes wide and edged with bloodshot veins shining out from the holes. Her breath became steam out of the holes in the plastic and her flamethrower primer sparked up like a solid, blue dagger. "Show them what happens when **campfires go out of control!**"

"**Took the words right outta my mouth!**" Izzy hissed. The spawn door slid open, and out she went, a one-girl rampage incarnate...

* * *

The Producer sat in his control room with his many screens and panel of controls. To him, the game was an RTS of sorts. He organized where the players of his bot-controlled team went, what they did, what direction they guarded and how hostile they should be when facing the enemy team. At the same time, he could see every part of the map at once, including where the enemy team was and what they were doing. What he couldn't do was hear them or get up closer than the regular stage-cameras would allow.

"Those pesky little kids with their better guns and....skill!" he began. He ordered three engineers to begin building sentries for the last point. The bottom level of the dam, which led straight outside, had the final point in a room with half-story ledges and metal catwalks hidden into the scenery that stretched up over the wide floor that led up to the point. A perfect place for opportunist Pyros or Spies to drop down from suddenly, or even for Soldiers to strafe across while firing their rockets. There was only one entrance accessible for the attacking team, allowing for the defenders to funnel the enemy troops into the point one-at-a-time.

Two more entrances were nearby that one, however, and guarded by grates, meaning that as long as there was a brief passage of time, a Heavy-Medic team could break through the initial entrance and duck into the other ones, which led around to the half-story elevated catwalks, all of them conveniently out of sight of the turrets that were built to surround each corner of the point but one, a perfect trap-fire. Only one turret was build exposed to the long hallway to a potential sniper. The others were hidden around squared corners that sealed the point into an open but concrete-cornered area.

The strategy was simply. Heavies were up on the catwalk rails to guard. Soldiers and Pyros made often patrols and restocked their ammo at the engineer dispensers. Two Snipers took a far-back position, almost outside of the area in general, and edged themselves in and out of their spawn with scopes fully charged. Spies waited nearby with disguises chosen. Medics patrolled and charged themselves up while keeping everyone over-healed as much as possible. As for the ones up by two floors, when the Producer switched his sights to watch _them_, panic was all he found.

"Oh, ho" he said, rather flatly. "Looks like the attack dog has been let out." Izzy was, on his screen, _literally_ chewing a medic's throat out while the model just struggled and strained with his back against the floor. Izzy rose her bloody mouth up and gave a pearly-white, fanged grin out to the cameras. ".....creepy little bitch!" the Producer lowed. He switched all his control to those troops and left the final point guarded by bots with their directives primed and their paths all set. What remained was a Sniper, a Pyro and the Demoman that the Medic had been healing. Izzy was uninjured, over-healed, and **berserk.** She sprinted forward at the Demo. He backpedaled and shot down sticky grenades, two together, while Izzy ran at him on all fours. She pushed herself away from the effective explosive range of the grenades just as he detonated them and forced him into a corner. The Demoman planted sticky mines at his own feet, as many as he could, and detonated them when Izzy got too close.

Izzy jumped away, powered by the explosion to land across the room next to the hiding sniper. He fired a quick point-blank shot with his rifle but missed as Izzy's leg slid back and hit the barrel away. Then, with her arms swinging around, she powered her fist into his head and stunned him. With him not moving she drove a knee into his face and shoved the back of his neck against the wall.

"Gaaaawwwhhhh" the Sniper groaned as he died. Izzy picked him up by his nose and used her ax to decapitate him. Now all that was left was the Pyro, who already started flaming her from the maximum range with his gun. Izzy just faced him and let her health get chewed down. She was basically flame-proof. The fire barely hurt her with her superior suit and overall skill. She rushed through the fire, letting it surround her and part from her, forming blazing flames that hung in the air behind her like wings. Then, in a sweep of power, Izzy stomped the Pyro's foot flat with a quick heel-spike and punched the barrel of her Uzi into his face. She opened fire and drained a clip of point-blank bullets into the Pyros face. He died quickly, and when he became limp and started falling Izzy sped him up by pushing him over and his foot snapped off, staying spiked to the floor under her heel.

"**AAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!!"** Izzy laughed madly. She was still injured, almost dead, but her recent kill increased her killing power and started to regenerate her health. She took to all fours and starting moving quickly through the rest of the map. She came to the first point, where Duncan and Noah were still guarding, and they hid behind the barrier around the point before they were spotted. Izzy sped past, stopping briefly just to regain her bearings and find a path to continue on, and then went on for the stairs.

"Attention team" Noah called. "Berserk Izzy is coming through. Be advised: she looks pretty bad right now."

"Roger that" Gwen said. She and Owen went on past the middle point and started toward the final destination along with Beth, Justin, Sadie and Katie. Lindsay arrived soon after the call went out via a hidden exit that led from further up and went to the point.

"Where'd you come from?" Cody asked.

"Pfft" Lindsay scoffed. "Yeah right, Conan. I'm not falling for that dumb joke by saying something like 'well, my mother, duh'! Oh, shoot!"

"What route did you use?" Courtney asked.

"I got scared of Izzy" Lindsay said "when she started killing people and jumped up into the air vents." Courtney looked up and saw the hollow metal vent over her head. She followed it along the entire ceiling and even over to the down-ramp that led to yet another separate story of the dam's convoluted and labyrinthine interior.

"You mean that's a functional part of the game!?" Courtney exclaimed. She became suddenly snide and full of deceit. Harold decloaked mid-hop over Cody's level-two sentry and gave a report. "Hey, there's three guys in that hall! Two Soldiers and a Scout!"

"What!?" Courtney exclaimed. "Well, why aren't they attacking?" Harold shrugged. "Go kill them. No mercy."

"Alright" Harold said. He drew his sword and donned a disguise. He cloaked just as he exited the point and ran around the flanking enemies, right into the hall directly behind them. Just before he got the chance to enact superior flanking on the enemies, he was pounced and smashed into the wall, then thrown to the floor where his disguise remained but his cloaking suddenly broke. Izzy leaned over him with an ax in her hand, and her firy head of hair caught the attention of the Soldiers and the Scout who all turned around to attack her and defend their own 'ally'. First out was the Scout, who charged with his Scattergun. Izzy dashed to the side a step and clothes-lined him right in the neck with the back of her ax.

"**BONK!"** she exclaimed. The soldiers came next, one after the other, and started circle-strafing her. One shot rockets at her feet while the other pumped his shotgun at her. Izzy jumped up using the rocket explosion as a boost and landed ax-tip down in the shotgun-Soldier's skull. She kicked her ax's back and sliced his head open, obviously killing him. Then she threw the ax and destroyed the Soldier's rocket launcher with an explosion.

"Aw, hell!" the Soldier cursed. Izzy pounced up on him as well, feet on his shoulders and hands wrapped tight around the bottom of his jaw. "I-will-never...surrendeeeerrr!!!" the Soldier shouted, his final words as Izzy tore his head off forcibly, then kicked it away. The Scout was still alive and wielded his bat the second he got up with intent to bat Izzy to death, but before he got the chance he got a sword through his gut from behind. Harold was in a half-rising crouch with his sword stabbed forward and his eyes coolly shining out from the ninja-like shadows that masked him. The Scout wasn't quite dead, though its health was definitely zero.

"Aw, you've gotta be kiddin me!" he exclaimed. "A-are you serious, here?" Harold jerked his sword out and kicked the Scout around. "This sucks!" he shouted as Harold sliced his head cleanly off. He shut up, fell over and his head rolled nicely off his body. Harold then turned his combative glare to the animal-like Izzy, whose mask hid the ferocity of her glaring eyes and the terror of her smiling mouth.

"Izzy" Harold began, "get rid of your inner darkness! Throw it away! The power it wants to promise you is nothing compared to the true power obtained through training and skill. Izzy, you _have_ such skill! You have that skill, you can do this alone, without the berserker power! Come back to reality!" Izzy continued to growl as she breathed, like an animal, while her fingers slowly twitched and curled. "Come back from the **dark side!**"

"Dude, I'm fine" Izzy said, raising her mask to reveal a rather placid and expressionless face. "I just like doing stuff like that! It makes the enemy afraid of me, so they'll concentrate more on getting rid of me instead of more tactical players like you or Eva or Owen!"

"......Oh" Harold said. He sheathed his sword and cleared his throat. "Well then, that seemed like a waste of my time."

"You're _both_ wasting time!" Courtney exclaimed. "Get on this point! I've got a perfect plan!"

"A perfect plan?" Izzy replied, sounding enthused and bubbly. "That sounds unlikely at best! Goodie!"

"I may as well" Harold said in a defeated tone. As they gathered the point capture rate increased by two more standing points. Down below, the Heavy-Medics had teamed up and traveled together with the Soldiers Beth, Justin, Sadie and their shared Medic Kaite. Up above, Noah and Duncan continued to defend their initial point in relative ignorance of each other. Further on, Trent and Leshawna had taken a reconnaissance offense and tactically retreated from a fight they couldn't win. Leshawna covered the wall they just rounded with stickies and kept her sights backwards. When the enemies came around the corner she blew them all to pieces, and those that survived had to retreat.

"Looks pretty heavily guarded" Trent said.

"No problem" Owen said as he walked up suddenly behind the two with his reinforcements behind.

Finally, Zeke spawned and walked out to the bloody mass in a terrified confusion. "Uh" he began, "there's a bunch of bodies here....and-"

"That was Izzy" Noah replied. "Go around them and catch up with the offense team. Build them a small base, if you could." Zeke nodded, obviously unaware that his nod couldn't be seen over the radio, and rushed through the blood-stained room with a quick, rapid sprint to get to the long staircase that led all the way downward.

"""

"That was creepy" Zeke said. "It was like walking onto, like, some kind of horror movie set, cept the bodies weren't fake...I guess they actually were though, eh?"

"""

* * *

The match has started! Already, one point has been taken, but how long will it take for the second point? Will the few team members there be able to cap it alone or will a terrible battle force them to try and press forward? With Heather and Tyler still out, will Harold and Lindsay be able to pull their weight until they respawn? Will Courtney's plan work? Will the amazingly-overpowered offense manage to pull off an upset, spontaneous victory!? Find out next week on _Total Drama Team Fortress!!!_


	71. DAMnation 2

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

The final point. So heavily guarded that the time to capture it surely exceeded the time currently gathered from the first capture. The map had a maximum of fifteen minutes. It took over three minutes to capture any single point with one person. Once a capture was made, the time would be added back to its max, but with the first point capped and the second engaged in the capture, all the time was left to be used by the offensive team accordingly. The Heavies moved out together, with Eva going first, to make the first major assault on the enemy's last standing stronghold of defense.

"I'm charged!" DJ exclaimed.

"Wait for my signal!" Eva shouted. She started firing her superbly decimating minigun into the fray randomly. Two Heavies up on the catwalk concentrated their fire on her to push her back while the rest of the defenders went on their business, leaving it to them. Their damage just barely exceeded DJ's healing, and a slow drain on Eva's health began. From the corner, unseen, a Spy started to stalk around the flank. Gwen and Owen came in just as the Spy uncloaked with knife brandished and ready to stab DJ's back.

"Peek-a-" the spy began tauntingly. His voice was stopped suddenly when a razor bone-saw blade sliced into his side. "Well, this is a fine mess" the Spy said before dying.

"Keep pushing!" Gwen exclaimed, reequipping her medigun to Owen. "Get those Heavies down and go for broke!" Eva and Owen aimed up and shredded the Heavies one at a time. Then the Soldiers and Demomen came in to stall them further. Just then Eva stowed her minigun and rushed forward. DJ activated his ubercharge and let her to her own tactics, keeping her just within range the whole time.

"Let's move right!" Owen shouted. He and Gwen took into the side room gate and let it close and lock behind them. Gwen realized they couldn't get out when she tried to check on Eva's battle progress and couldn't lean out the door.

"What's going on out there?" Gwen wondered. Eva was tearing things apart with her invulnerable charge. She took a level three sentry off the ground as it continued to fire on her and tossed it into another one. Both exploded and killed the nearby engineer maintaining his turret. Eva flexed her arms and growled as a threatening pose against the defenders, ready to kill anyone who was stupid enough to try and fighter before the charge wore off.

"""

"I'm not feeling berserk" Eva said "but I still feel like raging and killing everything that moves. The whole 'state of mind' thing must be affecting me. I seriously feel berserk with my fists out."

"""

Making their way into the fight from above, Owen and Gwen strafed out onto the catwalk after clearing it of the incoming enemies. Owen opened fire from above and sprayed bullets in all the corners of the capture point area, clearing it of enemies while Eva continued working below.

"We've got a problem up here!" Cody called on the radio. "Spies are attacking! Spies and Pyros!"

"How'd they get past us?" Gwen wondered.

"I don't know!" Cody exclaimed. A wet stabbing noise was heard. "Oh god! The Pyros are actually Spies!"

"Ignore him" Courtney said, followed by loud automatic fire. "We're taking care of it."

"Where's Harold right now?" Gwen said.

"Gwen, duck!" Harold radioed. Gwen ducked at his extremely sudden comment and dodged a Sniper's bullet. "Now get out of sight!" Owen and Gwen rushed along the catwalk under fire from far away. Snipers were ducking in and out of their spawn shooting at them through the impossibly narrow space between the opening in the wall and their own spawn gate. "Everyone stay back, nobody rush in until those Snipers are gone!"

"You hear that?" Geoff said as he defended the second point-in-capture. He smashed a spy across the face with his trench-digging shovel and kicked his body off the point while Bridgette sawed another one sneaking up behind him in the back. "Sounds like trouble down there. Maybe we should go."

"We're down enough people as it is" Courtney said as she reloaded her rifle. "Even with this small group, we don't have enough to spare for a second. It's going to take over a minute to capture this point, and then someone will have to stay behind to keep it capped! No matter what happens, our priorities can't be on all-out battle. This is a capturing map. They defend, we capture. It doesn't matter how many of them we kill if we can't stay on the point!"

"This wouldn't be happening if Tyler were here!" Lindsay said.

"Technically, it would" Courtney said. "Lindsay, you just stay alive and on this point until it caps. We've got to hold out!" Courtney aimed forward and up on instinct and fired, beheading a spy suddenly with a blind bullet from the grossly-high-caliber barrel.

"""

"I've done my part as a leader" Courtney said "and placed all my hopes on Harold's abilities. Believe it or not, he's a trustworthy guy on his own. A kind of.....well, I'm not going to say what he'd want me to say. Let's just say he works very well alone and in command of himself."

"""

Harold was up in the air ducts, watching over the battlefield from above. He was a surveillance hawk, a watching eye in the roof, seeing all the sides of his allies as a hanging camera angle with the ability to fight back in necessity.

"Eva, turn around!" Harold radioed. "You've got an unfriendly Spy at your rear!" Eva turned and saw Harold with his sword out keeping pace with her.

"That's you" Eva said. "Are you trying to trick me?"

"Yes" Harold said "and your calves are fat!" Eva picked the spy up by the head and threw him against the wall where his disguised and body broke. She saw what she'd done just as her ubercharge wore off. DJ ran up to her to get closer and out of enemy fire. Two Heavies and Medics had come out of the spawn and were pressing on fast. "Sorry about that, but retreat for now! Quickly!"

"I'm done running away!" Eva said as she took up her minigun. She opened fire on the enemies. The Snipers popped out between the Heavies and sniped two critical headshots off of the over-healed Eva. The damage had compiled into a near instant-death attack, but she was still up. She dropped down to her knees and closed her eyes as the blood trailed down into them.

"DJ" Eva groaned, "Run! Get to cover!"

"No way!" DJ said. "I'm a Medic! I have to heal you!" DJ was grazed by a Sniper bullet. He stopped healing and made a tactical retreat. Eva was killed by the concentrated fire, but her body remained kneeling with her hands frozen in place. She was a static sentry that didn't move and always fired, but she was dead and when her gun ran out so would her body's usefulness.

"That only solves so much though" Gwen said. "The sentries are gone, but how long will it take the build them back up again!"

"Soldiers" Harold commanded, "Move out at will and fire! The Heavies are being slow! Just be sure to avoid shooting Eva's body so she can keep firing like that!"

"Got it" Sadie said. "Alright guys, let's go!" The three soldiers rushed out and fired, but two of them, Justin and Beth, were killed by bot Snipers.

"Stupid, cheap bots!" Justin exclaimed in anger. "I'll tell you this: I don't know that much about gaming in general, but auto-aiming is a bitch!"

"""

* * *

Eva's post-mortem stand held up for as long as it could and pressured the opposing team back just enough to make way for a new offense. Sadie ran back and forth around their cover to fire quick rockets down the long hallway, narrowly avoiding the long-charged sniper's views.

"Hey!" Katie exclaimed. "I've got a charge!"

"Let's go then!" Sadie said. The team charged up and dashed forward, both of them together. Using the MVP build of equipment, the ubercharge continued at decreased drainage time with closer proximity. Katie kept the medigun firing by switching on the 'sentry-mode' healer, a proximity-based friendly healing mechanism that allowed her to become a constant moving dispenser of health and overhealing while keeping her hands free to equip an actual weapon. Sadie and Katie ran forward in a rage. Katie used a high-caliber scalpel gun to kill the snipers as they ducked out of their base to try and snipe. Then out came a lone Pyro, standing against the girls with his flamethrower.

"Die, you not-cool-looking flamer!" Sadie exclaimed. She fired a berserk rocket at the fiend, but he was able to miraculously deflect it right into Eva's body, ending the gatling-gun cover and gibbing her corpse to bits. "Darn! He's good!" Sadie said.

"He's probably cheating!" Katie said. "Start running backwards! We'll get up onto the catwalks!" Sadie nodded and equipped her automatic rifle. She and Katie rained fire on the lone Pyro, but somehow the bot was able to survive. He dodged their fire, drew it to a wall, then ran up the wall and flipped over their guns to land in a crouch with a flare gun equipped. It fired to no effect and began strafing again. It equipped its flamethrower just as Sadie fired a rocket. Using the compression blast, the Pyro deflected the rocket up to the catwalk where Gwen and Owen were holding cover. The whole thing shook from the blast.

"What was that!" Gwen exclaimed.

"You know" Owen began "it's possible that this catwalk isn't supposed to be hit with rockets."

"What?" Gwen said.

"Well," Owen began, "remember when that dam in Hydro broke that one time? And when the bridge on 2Fort broke too? This could be the same kind of map. You know, with environmental effects and all." Gwen was gaping her mouth wide in shock.

"""

"It never occurred to me" Gwen began "that Owen was sharp enough to assess something that quickly, but wow. He's right! The programming for this game must include some kind of environmental damage that accumulates if the players are too irresponsible or something. It's genius....evil genius!"

"""

Assuredly, the catwalk began to buckle under their weight. The Pyro managed to advance enough ground as Katie and Sadie's uber wore off. They retreated into the gated stairway and began their way up to the higher-set catwalk above the hallway into the point area. The Pyro backpedaled into the gate and fired a flare at Gwen, catching her on fire just before he chased after Katie and Sadie out of sight.

"Arrgh!" Gwen groaned. "I had no idea being on fire hurt this bad! Harold" she called "I'm sorry we had you picked as our human-barbeque every time we attacked you!"

"You'll get used to that in a second" Harold said. "Besides, with your health against a normal Pyro's fire, your health shouldn't drain to heavily." Gwen's health was, in fact, static. An MVP Medic self-healed at the same rate of a regular Pyro's fire status, so hers was basically up with a little minus from the impact of the flare itself. Sadie and Katie waited around the corner of the quick-curving square staircase with their melee weapons in hand. If either got hurt, they could be healed easily and carry on with their mission. The Pyro, however, stopped just short of the last turn, as he was under direct control of the Producer himself.

"I didn't know I could make them wallrun" the man said. "I wonder what other things I can make these bots do..." He pressed a quick button and the Pyro, with flare gun equipped, took a stance and waited. His hands were aimed with palms together and drawn back at his side. He was paused in a instant-kill taunt animation, and the next half-second would instantly cremate whatever it hit. Naturally, the lull in the chaos prompted the girls to investigate. Sadie motioned to go, but Katie stopped her and shook her head. She made a quick sign with her hands and vicious bone-saw that she should go first, to which Sadie started tearing up. Katie's martyr-like attitude prompted Sadie to try and do the same thing, but Katie continued to offer her own health to investigate to spare her friend. Sadie obliged happily and let Katie go on with saw at the ready.

"""

"Katie's such a wonderful person" Sadie said, by herself in the booth. "She's so sacrificial and whatnot. I mean, that's not exactly _why_ we became friends, but it's a great reason why we _stay_ friends. And I'm the same way, I really am. If I would have offered first, then she would have let me go so that _I_ could look heroic and stuff like she's being, and then she'd be having the exact same confessional. That's how tight we are! It's an unbrekable bond of closeness as Best Female Friends!"

"""

Katie charged around the corner, punched the Pyro in the face with her bonesaw and prompted the rest of the taunt to play. Even with a critical hit from her deadly weapon, she couldn't kill it fast enough to stop its taunt and was blasted against the wall so hard her lower back was indented into it. The energy attack incinerated her body into ashes almost in an instant, and she was completely gone, weapons and all. Sadie was so utterly stunned by what she saw she blindly equipped her rocket launcher and instinctively fired a few shots into the wall. The first one was enough to gib the Pryo, but Sadie wasn't satisfied until she had emptied a whole clip.

"You okay now?" Harold asked.

"Yes" Sadie said, straining herself to talk past the tears that were forming. "I just watched my bestest friend ever get destroyed by a stupid artificial player, but I'll live."

"Don't worry, Sadie!" Katie proclaimed from between her lengthy spawn time. "I'll be there in a while....a really, really long while. Holy crap, that's almost three minutes!"

"The respawn time" Noah chimed in across all channels "is getting longer relative to the amount of time one has been alive!"

"You think it's the same for the enemies?" Courtney asked. She was answered by Gwen's radio and the hail of full-auto gunfire and grenade beeps.

"Does that answer that?" Gwen asked.

"They've got two Engies" Harold reported "and three Demomen, along with two Heavies and three more Medics. As for Spies and Snipers, I haven't seen any for a while and I've been watching very closely."

"Harold" Courtney began, "can you do anything right now to get Gwen and Owen in a better situation?"

"Sorry, no" Harold said. "If I reveal myself then I'm as good as dead."

"The one time we need a spy" Duncan said "and ours is stuck in a vent."

"I'm not stuck!" Harold protested.

"Good thing _I'm_ here" Heather said. She joined on the living communication line at last, stepping out of the point and rolling her neck with a quick crack. "That was Hell."

"More like purgatory!" Izzy said with a snorting laughter following. Heather rolled her eyes and equipped her sleek black face shroud with equally sleek V-shaped purple visor.

"I managed to run a teleporter up there" Cody said. "You'll come straight to point 2 if you take it." Heather stepped on the pad, was taken into a flash of light, stepped off and swung her sword on instinct. She just barely missed Cody, who was standing not far away working on his sentry.

"Precaution" Heather said, sheathing her sword. "So, what's the good news?" She stepped on the point, adding one final point to edge out the timer by another numeric multiplication of time, cinching the capture at long, long last.

"YAHOO!" Duncan exclaimed.

"Nicely done!" Leshawna cheered from the point-area corner.

"""

"Typical" Heather said, looking at her nails haughtily. "The second I step on the field, things just start going right. Happens all the time, don'cha know?"

"""

"Noah" Courtney immediately called, "what's that point look like?" Noah and Duncan stepped off the point and heard it start to hiss. They stepped right back on and Noah observed a thin sliver of neutral color on the otherwise pure purple icon on the screen. The neutral was moving away at a pixel every couple seconds.

"Uhhhh" Noah began.

"Looks like we're still stuck here" Duncan said. "Just leave Cody on two and get moving with your mission. I for one hope this bull**** only lasts as long as this map. This is boring as hell!"

"I agree" Courtney said as she stood up. "Leshawna, Cody, Geoff and Bridgette, you all stay on this point no matter what and defend it."

"Got it" Leshawna said. She started covering the point with her mines while Geoff and Bridgette became extra watchful. Cody ran off the point and dropped the blueprint for another level two sentry to self-assemble, then ran to grab more metal to speed up the process. Courtney took Trent from the point and led him into the sloped hallway just as an enemy Soldier-Medic team came running around the corner. Courtney didn't stop in her soldierly march. She aimed her gun through the sight and blasted the Medic's head into blood and mush. Trent did the same, simply stepping to the side in dodging a rocket, and destroyed the Soldier who slowed his run and fell with a slide at Trent's feet.

"Counter-sniping team is on the move" Courtney said, slinging her rifle over her shoulder in substitution for her automatic. "We'll be there in no time at all."

"I'm already there" Heather said from an unknown location.

"I hope none of you are too late" Gwen said, taking a quick peak at the quickly-regrown defense force. She ducked back just as a turret beeped and a sniper's bullet chipped the concrete corner she hid behind. Sadie was hiding likewise behind a metal support arm extending from the floor to the ceiling she was near, at a higher elevation than Gwen and within jumping reach of the air vent Harold still hid in and monitored the battlefield from. The whole team was already at the final point, but a wall was before them, one they just couldn't pass with so few soldiers......

* * *

From the enemy spawn, two snipers paced back and forth, in and out, letting their bullets charge up completely for three seconds while they monitored and carefully sentried the distant area. They watched the enemy movements so closely that what was there of an enemy team was expertly pinned by their cooperative coordination.

"I can wait all day" one of the Snipers lowed. They both drew back for a quick second. In front of their door a Pyro passed as he headed out to make patrols and spy-check the area. The Pyro called for a Medic, which came soon after, and the two charged off with a muffled battle-cry. As soon as the doors of the spawn slid open two loud rushes deafened the Pyro's ears and stopped he and his Medic partner in a second. Two bullets had gone past them and through the heads of the Snipers at the point, blowing both heads clean from their shoulders, leaving the bodies to stand and spurt blood for a few moments before falling over and dropping their guns.

"We're here" Courtney called as she moved up. The Pyro took up his flamethrower, hoping to ignite or at least push the enemies away. However, Courtney came up quick on him with an unscoped shot to the head. The Medic panicked and started to run away, but got a rocket-boost into the air from Sadie and a sudden ambush of minigun-bullets from Owen.

"Hot Dog!" Owen exclaimed. "It's action time!" He kept his minigun spinning and turned the corner just slightly enough to start counter-firing on the enemy sentry. His health was steadily drained by the gatling gun and rocket-launcher bullets, but his expert Medic kept him healed from behind.

"You guys concentrate on that" Courtney said as she took a position around the corner of a wall. "Trent and I will counter-snipe for you."

"Good plan" Gwen said. "I wish I was enough of a brilliant strategist to have thought of it!"

"Complexity doesn't always make goods plans" Courtney said as she picked off a hopeful counter-counter-Sniper in an instant. "Sometimes brute force is the most assured method." Sadie heard her and nodded. She turned to Owen and waited for him to make another move. He hooted as another enemy fell under his gatling gun, prompting Sadie to rush out with her own offense. She strafed across the highest catwalk platform and fired a volley of rockets down, eliminating the enemy Soldiers that fired at Owen and the Demomen who had the point covered with stickies.

"It's clear!" Sadie said. "Quick, move up! Get on the point!" Sadie kept strafing but bumped into something unexpectedly. She saw a semi-invisible spy standing in front of her, trying to move across the platform but failing. "Whoops! Sorry about that. Let me just-" Sadie suddenly realized her predicament. The Spy decloaked and started shooting at her while she retreated. The smart move would have been to take out her assault rifle or her shovel to kill the spy. However, logic lapsed, and in her panic Sadie shot a rocket at the Spy's feet, blowing him and the bridge where he stood into bits. The whole catwalk began to creak and tumble. As Sadie ran backwards along the path the metal grates of walkway gave way and fell down. One part of the path fell and crushed a running Scout flat. The Snipers popped out just fast enough to shoot at Sadie before getting counter-sniped, pegging her leg and forcing her to stop running.

"Ouch!" Sadie exclaimed. The bridge finally fell beneath her, but it stayed attached to the nearby solid wall. She dropped her rocket launcher and held on for dear life. "Eek!"

"Sadie!" Courtney called. "Hang on!"

"Do I have a choice?" Sadie shouted. She grabbed the grated walkway with her other hand and tried to pull herself up but to no avail. "Damn! I'm too heavy! I instantly regret everything I've ever eaten in my entire life!"

"Calm down!" Courtney shouted as she reloaded her rifle. "We'll get you down! Just be calm!" Sadie started kicking her feet to try and push herself up a little bit more. Her fingers were starting to get raw from holding on to such thin, sharp metal. Courtney and Trent continued to counter-snipe, keeping the ever-increasing enemy snipers at bay, while Owen kept the point mostly clear with bursts of minigun fire. However, even through all their combined efforts, they couldn't keep all the corners secured. An enemy Soldier was alining up a shot with his rocket launcher from around one of the corners that the attackers couldn't fire around.

"Hehehehe!" he madly laughed. "You call that hustle! You are a disgrace! You are a-" He was shut up by a knife in his back, thrown from high above in the air vent. Harold had revealed his position but went mostly unnoticed. He ducked back into the vent and started moving through it again, making his way forward toward the enemy spawn.

"It's showtime!" Harold exclaimed. He picked out a disguise and went invisible. Even the sound of him moving through the metal vent was masked. His perfect stealth skills shone through just after his saving his teammate. However, Sadie was not out of danger. The Snipers were seemingly multiplying and were getting harder to control. Some of them managed to pop out just quick enough to shoot at Sadie, nearly forcing her to let go and fall down into their normal line of fire. Courtney and Trent were getting overwhelmed. Owen's gun didn't have the range to reach to help everyone out. The only thing the team was leaning on was the hope that Sadie could pull herself up.

"Urgh!" Sadie groaned. "No good! I can't hold on! I'm gonna fall!" Just as Sadie thought she was done for, and that she would be thrown into a proverbial den of lions (with guns) she felt someone grabbing onto her wrist tightly. Then, all at once, she was yanked up and thrown back onto something hard and bumpy. "Ow....huh?" She looked up and saw a sleek black suited figure standing up straight with a cock of her hips. It was Heather, revealing herself with the act of saving her injured teammate. "Heather! You saved me?" Sadie said in disbelief.

"I helped" Heather said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some people to murder." Heather went invisible and jumped down into the fray, disguising as she was cloaked and working her way around the sniper fire and just behind enemy lines. Sadie stood up and brushed herself off, still feeling something lumpy at her back. She turned around and saw Zeke pressed into her back, stuck fast from being flattened by her.

"Whoops!" Sadie exclaimed. "Uh, sorry, Zeke." He managed to push himself off and shook his pain off.

"Eh, no worries" Zeke said. "Get to my dispenser while you can. I built a whole base up in the stairwell, eh."

"When?" Sadie asked. Zeke just stared at her a moment and shrugged.

"""

"Uh, around the time when Sadie blew up the thing" Zeke said "was when I got here, eh. I got a teleporter, a level one sentry and a dispenser all in the same place. I think I'm gonna build a few more sentries just to keep the enemies in check here and there, y'know? That's the, uh, most efficient plan."

"""

As Zeke approached his own base he saw a suspicious figure approaching it from the open stairwell. They met eyes and Zeke instantly reacted with a leaping double-leg drop-kick. The figure, Courtney, was thrown back and had her head bashed against the hard wall while Zeke managed to land on his own dispenser rather than fall off of it.

"Woah!" Sadie exclaimed. "Calm down, Zeke! It's just-"

"A Spy!" Zeke said. He unloaded his shotgun into the disguised Spy and killed it. As it died it dropped its disguise and tumbled down the stairs. "You can never be too careful, eh?" Zeke reloaded her shotgun while his dispenser healed Sadie and restocked her weapons, including dispensing a new rocket launcher for her to use.

* * *

Down in the fighting area, Heather disguised herself as an enemy Pyro and crept up close to an Engineer maintaining the last standing line of defense against spawn-campers. A level three sentry built in the narrow way between the spawn wall and the wall behind the main capture area. She leaned in close and made a muffled announcement to which the Engineer nodded and continued whacking away with his sentry.

"We got incoming" the Engineer announced. "Move it up, girls!"

"Maggots!" a Soldier shouted. Suddenly an offensive force was rushing out. No more Snipers, just forceful pushing power. Three Scouts, two Soldiers and two Heavy-Medic teams all pushing forward at once against the Snipers. Courtney and Trent took opposite sides of cover behind the walls and popped out to shoot blindly at the advancing enemies. The Scouts came around the corner quickly but were cut down by Trent's protective automatic fire. One slipped away and into the hallway leading to point 2, but one explosion later his flaying giblet remains were seen again.

"Leshawna?" Trent called. "Is that you?"

"Yup" Leshawna said. "Cody's and Lindsay are finishing point 2 up. Meanwhile, I brought some reinforcements."

"Yo dudes!" Geoff called. He popped out and started strafing away, firing strategic rockets at the feet of the Soldiers and Heavies while Owen opened fire on them as they were blown into the air from his ledge above. "Let's get our party on!" He and Bridgette broke through the line of fire and rushed forward. Sadie stayed up above, using what was left of the catwalk platform to rain fire down on the enemies who left themselves exposed. A sudden huge swell of enemies, all offensive classes like Pyros, Soldiers, Demomen and Medics to heal them, ran out of the enemy spawn at once and drove straight into the line of fire. Three enemy Ubercharges went off at the same time, all three on Heavies.

"Let's go, Owen" Gwen said. "It's our show now!" Gwen pushed back the lever of her medigun and started her own charge. Owen jumped down with an epic stomp that cracked the ground and started revving his minigun. After firing just a few bullets, he was out and had to switch to his pumped-up shotgun.

"Well that's just unlucky" Owen said.

"Use your charge attack!" Courtney said.

"After their charges wear off!" Trent added. Gwen jumped down and started running forward, into enemy fire. Owen tossed aside his gun and made a rapid-speed dash forward, pushing through the enemy Heavy minigun fire. All three focused on him and kept him in place, even as his feet continued to move.

"Gah!" Owen exclaimed. "It's like trying to sumo wrestle a bunch of bees! Really heavy, sumo-wrestling bees!"

"Keep pushing!" Gwen called over the roar of fire. "They're all too close together. If you blow one up, the others will go!" Owen kept pushing himself forward. The enemy ubercharges started to flicker off while Owen and Gwen stayed solid and charged with power. The remaining catwalk over the fighter's heads, the one creaking and ready to break, started to creak even more. The Engineer, noticing it from far across the bullet-brightened field, whistled and pointed to it, ordering his allies to fire at it. The Soldiers complied and one managed to shoot a rocket at it just before Sadie blew him up. The rocket hit the catwalk and blew it from its hinges, forcing it to collapse as a whole piece of metal that stretched across the walled corridor.

"Oh, shoot!" Courtney exclaimed as the metal landed dangerously close to her. "They've blocked us off! Now we need to go around." Courtney looked over at Trent, to try and signal him to follow her, but she didn't see him. Somehow, Trent had disappeared.

"This way, right?" Geoff called, pointing to the grate door.

"Yeah, go up that way" Courtney said. "Apparently Zeke has a small base in there, too, so get your ammo filled up." Geoff saluted and ran into the stairwell. Bridgette followed close behind, her medipack already crackling with uber energy. On the other side of the collapsed bridge, Trent lay trapped and steadily losing health under the weight of the metal. Despite having his lower half crushed to death slowly, he still managed to fight on and sniped out a few of the Soldiers strafing back and forth obnoxiously from his prone position. Finally, the Heavies charges wore off while Owen's still kept going, but he still wasn't moving forward. Trent picked off one of the Heavies with several well-aimed headshots, cutting their pushing power down enough for Owen to charge forward. His explosive shoulder-tackle obliterated the center Heavy while the left-flank one was blown away and finished off by Geoff from above.

Now the point was clear, and the capture slowly began.

"We're capping?" Gwen said. "Even though the other one isn't secured?"

"Well that's a whole lot of useful to know" Courtney said in a sarcastic rage. "Noah, did you know about this!"

"The second point" Noah said over the radio "is basically captured already. I guess the game is just cutting us some last-minute slack."

"_Control Point Captured"_ announced the robotic PA system.

"Ah, there it is" Noah said. "Now we just need to keep it. Once we get all three, I think the map ends. If we lose one, we have to get it back before time is up."

"So we're still stuck here?" Duncan asked off the mic. Noah just solemnly nodded.

"""

"Un-freaking-believable" Duncan protested. "The biggest battle we've ever fought, the first one where we're all working together, and I had to sit almost all of it out with captain cranium..."

"""

Down below, Gwen and Owen held their ground solidly. Using the discarded weapons of the dead enemies, Owen refilled his minigun and once again began opening fire to mow down anything that came out of the enemy spawn alive. His Medic left upon seeing Trent and tended to him, healing him up to full health and hoping that it would be enough to get him out from under the heavy metals. All it did was prolong his life under torture.

"Thanks for the assist" Trent said.

"Come on, Trent" Gwen said, lowering her gun and reaching her hand. "Maybe I can pull you out..." Suddenly, a huge sound of explosions.

"GAAHH!" Owen howled in pain. He was under heavy attack and falling. Gwen glanced down at Trent with worry and saw him smiling up at her.

"Go ahead" Trent said. "I'll be fine, don't worry about it. I'll just try and help you out from here, if I can." Gwen leaned down and kissed Trent, pulling back with a tear going down her face. She snapped back in an instant and charged forward with her scalpel gun out, assisting Owen in firing before healing him back from the very brink of destruction. While Trent was pinned to the ground, he aimed between Owen's legs and picked off a Medic-healed Sniper just before the Medic initiated the ubercharge. The enemy spawn door went down, and then out ran an ubercharged Demoman wielding a claymore sword in his hands!

"Oh what chaotic webs we soldiers weave" spoke the Engineer behind his sentry. Heather, still as a Pyro, turned around and glared at him under her disguise. "The spectacle of war is a violent dance indeed. One side will always lose, regardless of its effort to exist well. Survival, that's the game now. No longer is this a territorial war, but one where a side is never close to victory but only further and further away from the beginning where war didn't exist. My friend, villain though you are, should understand well what intentions we have in this battle. It is our goal to create goals for you. Be thankful for our selfless notions."

"How generous of you" Heather said, her voice slightly muffled by the Pyro mask. The Demoman charged forward with his sword held high, ready to cleave a mighty slice into Owen as he circled around just out of range of his minigun, but in an instant he turned around and instead cleaved the head off of his invincible Medic, channeling all the ubercharge energy into his mighty blade to accomplish such a mighty strike. In a plume of smoke, the Demoman's body dissolved and revealed the wiry frame of Harold wielding his own sword still glowing purple with energy. He smirked and nodded to Owen who nodded back. Then he too joined the camping fight by throwing his knives and running ahead. Geoff and Bridgette descended, strafing to and fro, keeping the enemies inside their own base.

"Will you relent?" the Engineer asked. Heather turned around and took off her mask. The sentry beeped and slowly turned against its own grinding gears toward the Engineer, trapped between his own machine and a dispenser behind.

"Why surrender when it's so much fun?" Heather asked, allowing herself to be revealed. The sentry had been sapped with her upgraded special sapper, turning it against its own maker and converting it into a Team Purple weapon. "If you AI guys only exist to give us a challenge, then challenge us. The whole point of this game is to be fun, and it's only fun if it's a challenge. Go up to Hard mode already."

"....Heh" the Engineer smirked. "If you say so..." His own sentry blew him up at close range, damaging itself, then turned around again to aim at the enemy spawn door. The second someone came out, under the heavy hail of fire, they were blasted apart by a cluster of rockets. The point capture began with Gwen, Owen, Harold, Sadie, Geoff, Bridgette and Courtney all crowded together on the point, pushing the enemy back with such force that after a short time, the door didn't even open at all. The map was cinched. As the second point was secured Lindsay ran her way down into the final room and Tyler teleported as well to aid in the capture. Leshawna kept her guard up as the only defensive measure protecting the second point, patrolling around and checking her proximity-triggered mines on the walls. Cody stayed vigilant and shot down what few remaining Spies there were still lurking about.

The map was finished before the capture countdown even reached zero, and the Producer knew it.

"Well well well" he said, observing the many monitors with his fingers tapping together in front of his face. "Looks like that girl is right. Normal mode is simply too easy for these children to play on. I'll have to do something a bit more....**challenging....** The Producer opened up the developers console by pressing the ~ button on his digital keyboard. He went to work quickly programming a much harder sequence of path-finding, tactical understanding and general difficulty into the bots. As he did, however, something caught his eye. Between watching Eva respawn and help a near-dead Trent out from under the metal walkway and seeing the human players make the final capture and win the map, something struck him as gravely amiss.

".....where did that Izzy girl go...?"

* * *

Where indeed! With the first map out of the way, the human team has made the first major step toward their game-ending victory. They have drawn a single step closer to their mutual enemy: the Producer, whose villainous intent to cancel their contracts and rebuke all their possible hopes for compensation in participating in an unregistered international experimentation trial drives them all toward a concentrated hatred against his thieving ways. How will they fare on Map 2 of DAMnation! Find out next time as the exciting finale to the super-exciting series draws ever closer!


	72. DAMnation 3

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

As the map ended and the regular players all collected themselves together in their new respawn room, one mysterious circumstance prevented them from resting between the rounds. A single player was still out of place, and it was tasked to the mercenary modders still present to maintain the balance of their precious map by hunting down the renegade soldier. The two men entered the first map on a floor above the top floor, a debugging room where the machines and damageable scenery was tested rigorously before being implemented into the game environment. The models for a boiler before and after a forced explosion were side-by-side, as well as the panel for an undamaged bridge and a bent and busted fallen bridge panel. The walls had alternating sets of unscathed piping behind mesh wires and steam-hissing pipes behind compacted and torn wires. Even chunks from the floor alternated along the edges of the walls, showing the possibility of wearing and tearing up the solid concrete floor.

The two men in question wore astronaut suits and held laser guns. They acted as an impromptu tenth-class added to the game as 'class_mod' to give them ease of movement in testing runs during bot-driven gameplay. They were equipped with jetpacks for near endless flight around the stage and had instant-resupply units installed in their suits so their fuel never ran out. Being in play during actual combat would put them at the risk of not being able to move across the entire field to test out their various needed modifications. Still, being in play meant they had their own health, ammunition and and the ever-present ability to die and respawn. With their space-age armor, however, that made it much harder.

"This is spooky" said the one in the suit with Red arm-bands. "It's like that movie, _Aliens_, isn't it?"

"Kinda" replied his friend, wearing a suit with Blue arm-bands. "I mean, we're technically just hunting down an impatient and crazed girl, but given what we know about her, I'd rather be hunting down Aliens." His friend nodded. Not to far off, hiding in the shadows, **Izzy stalked them both.** Knowing she was actively being hunted forced her to be as stealthy as she could. Even as a Psycho-Pyro her stealth skills rivaled any spy. Her footsteps were silent, as was her breathing. The two gentlemen had no idea of the attack soon to be sprung, yet they kept their guns ready for any happening.

"Hey" began the Red one.

"What?" replied Blue.

"I just thought, what if she's behind us?" Both men stared at each other for a second. Izzy, standing in their shadows, slowly and silently lowered her mask to hide her murderous grin and leaped up without a trace the second they turned around.

"I'm, getting freaked out here!" Blue exclaimed. "Are we playing _Team Fortress 2 _or _Left4Dead _here?"

"Even _L4D_ isn't this scary" Red said. "This is spooky on _Silent Hill_ levels!" The men turned around and continued marching, slowed by their heavy suits and internal panic, while Izzy crawled along the ceiling just above. The men came to an open room where several power-ups were hovering and spinning together. The regular health kits, ammo crates and the irregular grenade and Super-Weapon powerups were present as models without actual use. However, as modders, any item could be used by them as long as they could program it properly.

"Watch my back" Blue said. He ran over to the Super-Weapon briefcase-item and pulled out a modification pistol while Red stood behind him, watching over the room alertly. In the other room, Izzy kept her back to the wall, out of sight of the doorway, and scanned the hallway for possibilities. She saw a wide-open panel of walling and made her way to it. She managed to slip her arm through a crack in the wall but couldn't fit her whole body through. Then she saw a switch on the wall and, betting all her curiosity on it, flipped it. The window-shutters suddenly closed, leaving no natural light at all in the hallway. Izzy looked at her hands outside of the circles of light from the ceiling and could barely see them. Feeling lucky, she entered the room where the two men were.

"What just happened?" Blue asked in a hush. Blue clicked on a flashlight for his gun and aimed it at the door. Nothing was there.

"I think she may have found the light switch" Red said. Blue went back to work in a hurry and gasped with relief.

"Found it!" he exclaimed. "Alright, I'll equip myself and then it'll respawn in about three seconds. She'll be no match against whatever super-awesome laser guns we get out of this!" In his arrogance at victory, Blue failed to notice the fallen gun behind him until it hit the floor. He looked back with a grin still on his face and saw the outline of his friend **with a human-sized addition near the head. With glowing red eyes Izzy rose her head up, stood on her enemy's shoulders, and jumped back onto the ceiling.** Red's body fell down, **headless,** as the perfect assassination had come full-circle. Blue, in a panic, opened fire while screaming for dear life all over the room. His light-blue bullets lit up the surrounding area for a time and then fizzled out into sparks and embers on the metal surfaces. He unloaded his gun until it stopped firing and then started to glow a bright blue with heat and smoke. It had overheated, as a laser-gun with otherwise unlimited ammo would, leaving him vulnerable just long enough for Izzy to fall from the ceiling with her ax and approach him. He scrambled from the floor and ran to the wall with his long-range pistol out and shot at Izzy in the dark.

Then the Super-Weapon briefcase respawned. Izzy glanced at it and started dodging his pistol in its direction. He knew it would all be over if she touched that briefcase! He rushed in, equipping his welding-tool melee weapon, and tackled Izzy back into the darkness. Now that his gun had recharged and cooled down, he picked it up and started firing in short, controlled bursts again.

"You won't win!" he shouted. "My class is the strongest! Flight, long range and infinite ammo makes us an absolute essential part of any game! That's why there can only be one astronaut per regular team!" Izzy hid in the darkness, dashing through the light only to distract his fire, and equipped her Uzi. She sprayed bullets in the dark, letting the muzzle flash light up her murder-mask briefly to scare her prey. The man kept his gun from overheating too badly and switched for his welding tool when Izzy got too close. One hit and she was burning, but only briefly. "Hmph! If you wern't a Pyro you'd be on fire! This weapon can even fix sentries and kill a light-health class in a single hit from behind! The Astro/Cosmonaut is the strongest class in the game!"

"I know!" Izzy said in the darkness. "You said that already. Honestly, I think I'd like to switch out for an Astronaut! I've always wanted to wear those big suits and walk around in space! It must be fun!"

"No way..." he lowed. "I'd never let a monster like you have this kind of power!" From the darkness something spun his way and in an instant he was silenced as a flying ax had chopped off his hands. He was holding nothing now and bled slowly from his 275-count health. Izzy walked up haughtily to him and kicked him over. She held her Uzi to his visor and fired several shots which ricocheted off. He took the advantage and kicked her off, then rolled into a minor health kit, regaining his hands as his health shot back up. He equipped his pistol just as she equipped her flamethrower and a standoff ensued.

"Go ahead and try" he taunted. "This suit is not only burn-proof, like yours, but my helmet has enough armor to stop a single instant-kill headshot from any angle!"

"Jeez" Izzy said. "You need to get 'norfed'." The standoff intensified with an awkward silence. The modder felt uncomfortable at having Izzy such a wrong word, but didn't feel obligated to correct his enemy.

"""

"Or is it 'nerfed'?" Izzy asked. "I heard it once, but that was it. Honestly, what's with all the terminology that gamer-geeks have to use? It's not like they're in the army, or not a real one, anyway."

"""

"How'd you get here?" the Blue modder asked.

"I got lost" Izzy said "and tried to follow my team's instructions. Apparently, one airduct leads to the third control point and the other leads to here."

"That was an aesthetic design" the modder declared. "It wasn't meant to be used explicitly by any player. And besides, the walls were sheer vertical and metal. How did you manage to climb up it?"

"With my ax" she said. "I also punched some holes in the wall as footholds. Why did you even keep this room around when a game was in session? Shouldn't it be sealed off by impenetrable invisible walls or cut off entirely?"

"We had to keep testing the destructible scenery" the man said "and the only way to do that was to keep it all together in one room. It's a reference area that should only be accessible to Astronaut classes with hacked jetpacks!"

"Hacked?" Izzy exclaimed. "That makes you a cheater!" Izzy fired her powerful flamethrower on its close-range setting. The intense fire pushed her enemy back and she ran him against the sealed window. She slammed the tip of her long gun into him, forcing him up against the window. Then she fired a powerful compressed air-blast that cracked the glass behind him. Finally, Izzy tossed her weapon aside, charged forward and drop-kicked the modder clear out of the window, breaking the metal shutters as he tumbled out into the air. He engaged his jetpack, slowed to a halt and then started a crawling ascent upwards.

"I'm not a cheater!" the man exclaimed, still with his pistol equipped. "I'm a professional! Once he got back up to the window, over the roar of his own jetpack, he was unable to anticipate the next attack. Izzy had stolen the super-weapon briefcase power-up and threw it out the window at her foe. Her Chainsaw blade managed to slice the man's head and helmet clean off and killed him in an instant. His jetpack continued to ascend with his dead body, leaving Izzy as the proper victor without a way to get back into the game.

"I can climb down!" Izzy exclaimed. "I climbed up! I can easily go down! Gravity will be with me!" So Izzy left the window with her ax in hand. However, just as she removed herself from the first stage and entered the second, her body vanished and left her ax half-stuck into the concrete wall. The Producer had seen her and used his power to ban her on sight. From far across the field in the opposite dam wall, the evil-looking man lowered his eyepatch back over his eye and gave a sinister grin.

"""

"It's up to me to administer punishment to the cheaters" said the Producer from his own seat and private camera. "I can't be soft on anyone, even the audience favorite. Cheating is cheating, after all..."

"""

* * *

PURPLE team gathered their forces in their newly acquired spawn and awaited for the start of the next game type. However, as much as they organized themselves, there was always something missing.

"Where's Izzy?" Owen asked. The team was looking everywhere for their resident psycho-killer but couldn't find her. They checked in lockers, behind lockers, on the ceiling, under tiles, behind chalkboards, in Owen's battle armor; still, she was nowhere to be found. For all intents and purposes she was simply dead before the match could continue on.

"Okay" Noah said, calling the team back together. "I think we need to assume something important about the rules that has affected Izzy's arrival. Apparently, if you're not in the point before the map officially ends, you're dead for the rest of the next."

"What?" Courtney exclaimed.

"That's not fair!" Duncan hollered. "I made it in time and I was all the way on the first point with Noah! She had to have been closer than us!"

"I didn't see her for a while" Cody admitted "after she helped us at the second point. She must have gotten lost!"

"Or worse" Harold said. "Izzy may be the type to get lost, but she doesn't stay lost. She would have turned up if she could. Something must have happened to her that prevented her from coming back."

"Maybe some kind of glitch" Noah thought aloud. "She could have gotten stuck in some nasty poorly-clipped scenery and was unable to move to get out for too long."

"Listen" Courtney began, "it's a shocker but we can't let it distract us. If Izzy comes back at some point we won't have to tell her what to do. She's got a handle on commanding herself in this game. Right now we need to prioritize for the next map." While the team was still upset and somewhat paranoid over Izzy's total absence, they complied and lined up by class to receive their orders.

"""

"It's so freaky" Gwen began "not having Izzy around. The constant fear of her flipping out and gnawing someone's throat out had just become a sort of background noise for us. Now that she's gone there's all sorts of fears to fill that wide space..."

"""

"Regardless of what map type it is" Courtney began "we can still strategize according to our class rolls. We'll start with offense. Owen and Eva will move up the field toward the first objective as the main path-clearing attackers. Supporting them will be the Soldiers. Geoff, Sadie, Justin and Beth, keep a pocket offense near the Heavies if you can."

Lindsay rose her hand. "What's a pocket offense?"

"Strategic banter" Noah said. "It means you stay with the main attacking force off to the side. You support the front lines by filling in the flanks, or pockets, which the Heavies and other main attackers don't already have controlled." Lindsay nodded affirmatively, then blinked as if she was confused and continued thinking.

Next, Justin rose his hand. "Do we all have to do the same thing?" he asked. "Wouldn't it be more strategic if we had at least one soldier going apart from the main force? A support attacker, or even one to defend the back-line troops?"

"That'd be a 'roamer'" Noah said. "In terms of pure pushing power, I think having a primary pocket force would be best. We can leave the strategic roaming and distance control to our Spies and Snipers." Courtney nodded in approval.

"Once the path is cleared" Courtney continued "the Scouts, Lindsay and Tyler, will move up to the first objective and immediately begin capturing it. It is essential that the Scouts stay alive to capture, as their rate is double any other person. Even if a fight ends up with only one person on our team alive, make sure it's a Scout to keep the capture rate up." The Heavies, Soldiers and Scouts all nodded affirmatively, thought Justin managed to sneak in a suspicious glance to the side.

"""

"Those two think they know everything" Justin said. "Now, I'm no expert on this kind of thing. I don't study war or games or games about war or, per se, 'war-games', but I do know how to maintain a perfect body. It's called 'Muscle Confusion'. If you do the same thing all the time to the same parts, you won't see as much development. You need to mix it up a little bit. I don't see how that doesn't apply here!"

"""

"Regarding defense" Courtney began, "Without a Pyro we are without proper Spy-checking. You'll all need to be extremely alert. Stay in constant contact. Even an enemy non-MVP level Spy can kill any one of us with a single back-stab."

"Except a fully health-buffed Heavy" Eva said. "It'll nearly kill me, I think, but I'll live."

"If you can prove that on the field" Noah said "then use that perk extremely well." Eva nodded.

"In any case" Courtney continued "we'll need a constant support from the back line for the offense to pull through. Trent and I will do our best to counter-snipe, obviously, but anyone is free to kill enemy snipers if they get the chance. As for enemy Sentries and Engineers, it would be safer and faster for our Spies to handle them, so I want one of you to stick with the offense and stay just far enough ahead of them that you can help at a moment's notice."

"I'll do it" Harold said.

"And I'll provide support behind enemy lines" Heather said. "I work better that way, anyway."

"I think we both do" Harold said. "It's just that I'm better at following direct commands than you because you tend to have an ulterior agenda in play." Heather stomped on his foot and forced him to clench his teeth and hiss in pain.

"""

"My old personality keeps coming back to haunt me" Heather admitted. "Sure, I'm not a totally reformed person. I still hate about half of these people. But at least I'm more of a team player! A little. I don't try and usurp my superiors...as much."

"""

"Engineers" Noah began "will go on the offensive. Focus on building quick sentries in combat hot-spots and then getting out of the direct line of fire. Build multiple low-level sentries instead of long-term bases and scatter teleporters around as the offensive team pushes forward." Cody nodded and Zeke saluted with his wrench, ignoring the pain but stumbling and falling onto his back. The team looked at him for a second, but he got up and rubbed his head, proving that he was fine.

"Medics know what they're doing" Gwen said. "If you need to fight, don't be afraid to open fire. And if you tend to fight more often, look for an engineer. They can upgrade your syringe gun into a faster, stronger scalpel gun."

"Awesome!" Geoff said. Bridgette smirked at her syringe gun while DJ seemed to wince at it.

"Soldiers also have that option" Noah said. "By default, your rocket launchers have larger mags, fire faster rockets and deal more damage. However, they can be modified to fire rockets rapidly _or_ launch red-dot guided rockets. Doing so takes up the building space of an Engineer's building and wears off upon death, so only do so if you intend to fight extensively." The Soldiers and Engineers saluted together, confirming their orders.

"I guess we're auxiliary offense" Duncan said, motioning to Leshawna.

"Yes" Noah said. "Do whatever you can and spread yourself thin. You can use your sticky mines to perform a long-range jump, and if charged by a Medic you won't take any sever damage. However, keep in mind that enemy Demomen can do the same and may use sticky-jumping to get behind our lines, just as Soldiers can rocket-jump past our defenses." Duncan nodded with an unexpectedly nasty smirk and cocked his grenade launcher.

"""

"Is it just me" Leshawna began "or does everyone fear for their lives with that guy holding explosives? It could have been worse, I suppose. They could have made Duncan a Pryo at first..."

"""

"The map type will surely be the same" Courtney said. "A simple step-by-step capture map. Whether the cheapness factor is the same or not is debatable, so once we capture a point we're going to test whether it locks or not."

"Any sequential attack/defend map would be that way" Noah said "but we _are_ dealing with someone who has access to modify this map at will without any warning as we play. So, just be cautious." PURPLE team was anxious already and overcame what fear of battle they had by muting it out with the sheer bravery and want for battle they had in their hearts. They checked and double-checked their supplies and status before they were transferred with a quick graphical jump of lag to the next map's set-up phase. The enemy team was moving beyond their doors, setting up for whatever defense they could muster against a vastly overwhelming power-house team of 21 strong...

* * *

Once the set-up phase began, the Producer's faithful and well-programmed bots departed in a rush from the initial respawn area. Engineers took strategic sentry-building positions, Heavy-Medic teams moved up while other Medics charged their ubercharge by healing self rocket-blasting Soldiers. Snipers set themselves up a good distance away and aimed at the only exit that the attacking team had to go through. This time it wasn't just the RED team defending, but the BLUE as well. Both teams were full of bots under the direct control of the Producer from the final map area.

The second map was huge. The space between the initial spawn and the first point was roughly the distance between the first spawn and middle point of a map like Granary. The entire dried riverbed was sand and rock, but the color was yellow rather than the imposing red hue that most outdoor maps would have. There were large rock outcroppings that acted as shelves and overhead cover for Engineers to build turrets under. A beaten path existed leading from the attacking spawn, at the base of the dam nearest to the wall of the great, dry valley, up to a metallic bunker with rounded walls and roof. Inside that bunker was the point as well as a small staircase that led to an aptly-placed metal ledge overlooking the whole point. In the wall was a large valve that seemed to clash against the static background and risen over the open doorways of the bunker were sliding metal doors.

The defenders spawned from within the point as well, but only for the set-up phase. After that, the second point, located against the opposite side of the valley across a bridge where part of the river still ran and a low rolling dip of sand and rock, would be the main defender's spawn. The second point was partially covered by the sand and rock, its roof and walls mostly covered but its front and a second-floor window visible from a distance. A perfect Sniper's roost that the first bunker lacked. Both bunkers were in sight of each other, as well, though just barely as the rocks and higher hills of sand blocked off many angles.

The set-up for the round was similar to the previous map, but without the panicked need to stay on any point to keep it. Once a point is captured it is locked, but the points can only be captured in a specific order. There were five points: four bunkers that zigzagged down the river path and the final point just outside the final defender's spawn at the base of the other dam.

The bots all moved into place, staying true to their own roles as defenders, and set up a nearly impenetrable defense. A veritable Great Wall was set into place to rival even Noah's best strategic planning, and their numbers weren't at all lacking either. Both teams were of twenty bots plus two special additions to make par with the PURPLE team's current count. Those two, the Astronauts, still shocked and frightened over their horrific battle with Izzy, were spawned during the set-up at the furthest spawn and reintegrated as playable classes again. Their jetpacks were normal again and their laser beams had regular recharge frequencies. The two manned characters held their ground inside the spawn, not willing to depart until they were certain they were safe to do so...

And still, even outside the game, many changes were taking place that altered the course of the war to come. As the countdown to the beginning of the second map continued, the human element outside the virtual connection pods worked tirelessly to support the weary gamers.

"What happened to Izzy?" Chris asked as he was shoved into his pod via three well-toned bodyguard-type scientists.

"We don't know" said the leading man from before "but it seems she was forcibly kicked off of the server. She will be coming around shortly. In the meantime, _you_ must replace her."

"That wasn't the deal, man!" Chris exclaimed. "Come on, spare me!" Chris was thrown into the tube, locked in and forced out of consciousness by the flooding of supporting cryostasis gel. He was hooked into the system and passed through the regular server blocks via the recently hacked-open access route, waiting to spawn in spectator mode as a disembodied camera view. He spoke using a private channel that led straight to the lab-room speakers, not his soon-to-be teammates. "I just want you to know, there's no resentment behind any of this, but someone is going to get legally bitch-slapped for forcing me into this."

"Well Mr. McClean" spoke the tall bald man, "you can do whatever once you're out of the game and we won't stop you, but I dare you to remember all your hostility while you play in the game as our beta-testing trial class!" With a quick push of a few buttons Chris' class was chosen and he spawned silently behind all his nostalgic comrades dressed in PURPLE-team template colors. The first to notice the new teammate was Zeke who noticed a strange and loud rhythmic breathing from behind. He turned and fell dead silent with fear as **a faceless man in a round helmet and thick suit stood with a slender, high-tech laser gun pointed forward.** As Chris' motion data was read the model went out of its static state and Chris assumed control of it. By the time the whole team picked up on it, with a hiss of his helmet, Chris revealed to them with a twinkle in his teeth their newest addition to the team.

There was a deafening silence of open mouths at the sight of him. Their stances all broke and their mental preparations for war were effectively shattered apart. Chris just kept smiling in his Astronaut suit, beaming sheer charisma and arrogance into the air.

"""

"Oh this is gonna suck" Courtney groaned.

"""

"Ohoho, yes!" Chris smugly laughed. "I certainly have quite the startling impression left on these kids!"

"""

"When I saw Chris was on our team" Cody admitted "I felt a little part of my stomach curl into itself. I think it was my soul slowly dying inside."

"""

"When you think about it" Noah began "from a purely logical standpoint, having the host of the show on your team has to be a plus. After all, he would want to lose less than anyone else for sake of his reputation. On the other hand, it's Chris, and his style is to steal the credit of leadership as early on as he can to stay in control, then push the blame for failure onto whoever he stole that status from. So really, there is no win. It's just a general lose-lose-lose deal."

"""

"The one time we manage ourselves" Heather ranted "and he has to come along and attempt to ruin it! Urgh! That gel-haired, cocky, stuble-faced bastard! If he costs us the win, I'll-" Most of it was explitive and cut off from there.

"""

"I think he looks kinda cool" Zeke admitted. "Like a, uh, Astronaut or something, eh?"

"""

* * *

The match has yet to start! However, we've already seen quite the upset to the heroic PURPLE team! Will they manage to overcome this harrowing set-back and win? Find out next time as DAMnation continues on _Total Drama TeamFortress!_

((((Author's Aside: Long chapters are over. Too hard to do. Therefore, short chapters are en vogue. It'll be the same, week-by-week, and updated on Sundays from now on. This is to make it easier for me to actually write these out and not get so far behind. Thank you and enjoy the last major fight of TDTF))))


	73. DAMnation 4

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

There was an anger the likes of which couldn't be expressed. The room was full of glares that were, in their own respect, weapons of every boy and girl using them. The only one not glaring was Chris as his eyes went back and forth to casually scan the crowded row of disgusted expressions.

"Hey, I don't even want to be here, to start with" Chris began.

"Then leave!" Heather said. "What good could you possibly do us as a...um...What are you? An Astronaut or something?"

"Looks like it" Chris said. "I've got the suit and jetpack and everything."

"You've got a jetpack?" Owen said, suddenly impressed. "Ah, wicked-cool! I wish I had a jetpack!"

"""

"An Owen-sized jetpack" Duncan began "would probably outweigh Owen himself and use up more thrust than an actual jet engine. Hehehe..."

"""

"It could be a new class" Noah said. "This is, after all, more of a Team Fortress variant than it is a direct port."

"Agh" Geoff groaned. "Technical words..." He took off his hat and rubbed his head. Courtney took out her pamphlet, which had a litany of glitched text and improperly loaded, pixelated images taken at poor angles.

"Looks like the manual's been changed for this map" Courtney said as she flipped through it. Finally she found the page, which folded out into a big poster of an astronaut. Courtney ripped it out and pinned it up to the wall near the door. It described the Astronaut in the detail of an exciting promotional line for a soon-in-theater movie.

"_Witness the ultimate power of man's space age in the Astronaut Class! It's a class so powerful, **no more than one can exist per team in any given game. **And, like the real space program,** not just any schmuck can become an Astronaut. Only those who tediously train themselves and spend a great amount of time and dedication to the tedious processes of space-age travel may step into the moon-boots of these amazing soldiers!**_

_'So how can I become an Astronaut' you ask, you poor misinformed youth? It's simple! In a game, **any game**, where your team is maxed out on players, any one can elect to become an Astronaut. If the other members of the team elect that player his class will change immediately upon respawn! Only two people can race to be elected as Astronauts per game, and only one can win! The class can be given up at anytime and passed on to someone else only by the original Astronaut himself! A passing of the torch! **IN SPACE!**"_

"Looks basic to me" Noah said. "This game is designed for team play. A class with a design for election like this would never work in a random public game. Too many people would be talking too loudly about it at the same time."

"But we didn't elect him!" Harold said. "He just came in that way! It doesn't seem very fair..."

"""

"..." Harold slouched in despair. "I went to space camp first..._I_ should be the Astronaut! It doesn't make sense any other way! Does Chris know anything about launch procedures, thruster rate or proper space-mobility at all? Did he go to a low-gravity simulator and experience the gut-wrenching-ness of zero gravity?"

"""

"Alright, calm down kids" Chris said. "Listen, I know you're all upset...for some reason. But let's do what you all seem to do best and not let the current situation toss you out of your pants." The players looked to each other, partners and couples back and forth for confirmation. Noah was the first to speak.

"This won't complicate things at all" he began. "If anything, air-support will only benefit us, presuming that is what your job is."

"Yeah, that seems right" Chris said, patting the side of his jetpack. "Let me see what all I've got here." Chris turned to a bull's-eye poster on the wall and fired his laser. It shot dead on down the sight with a constant, whining stream of bright purple for a bit over a full second, then stopped and hissed out steam from its sides. "Well that's cool!"

"It looked cool" Cody said "but hoe much damage did it do?"

"Quite a lot, I assume" Noah said. "It's a laser, but to keep it balanced the charge on it is low."

"But to screw it up more, it's recharged already!" Chris said. "That was, what, three seconds from zero to full? Not bad!"

"What other weapons do you have?" Noah asked. Chris switched out his laser rifle for his scoped pistol and twirled it around his finger. "A silenced, long-range pistol. That just seems weird. How fast can you fire it?" Chris took careful aim through his scope, zooming up onto the poster so close he could see its pixel edges, and fired at a rate much slower than a normal pistol but slightly faster than a revolver. A medium-quick rate.

"It's got quite a zoom on it, too" Chris said. He reloaded and walked over to a supply locker. "So, let's set this up guys. Noah, Courtney, you guys are in charge. What's my job?" Courtney was taken aback by a bit at Chris' uncharacteristic apparent surrender of power, but Noah didn't miss a beat.

"Air support" Noah said. "That jetpack should give you a high, sustained jump. In conjunction with the weapons you're carrying, you can effectively own the field if you can aim well enough. Stay off to the side and observe, for the most part. You've got a scope so you can warn us about Snipers and try to flush them out with your laser. I bet that helmet will give you some headshot protection as well, if it's down."

"Even though you've got assault-level health" Courtney began "your arsenal is more support-favored, so don't charge directly into combat unless you've got a good chance of helping out."

"So" Chris began "I should stay away from the main fight and support from long-range. I can use my jetpack to maneuver around a little better or scout out the enemy defenses from the air. Anything else?"

"Stay alive" Noah said. "If we have access to this class, the other team will probably have the same set-up as us. We may have to fight an Astronaut if we're not careful, so Chris, be sure to make note of your weak points along with your strong points."

"You got it, captain" Chris said.

"""

"I'm not exactly a good follower" Chris admitted. "However, I am a great actor and leading man in terms of staying ability. For my job, and the security of my reputation for after the _TDI_ series ends, I will let the more experienced hands lead me. Then, when it's all over, I'll go right back to manipulating extensive and complicated twists and challenges from behind the scenes while sitting in the comfort of a bomb-shelter level studio, just like I've always done!"

"""

"I've still got one question" Zeke announced.

"That's nice" Courtney said, waving him off as unimportant.

"What happened to Izzy, eh?" he asked. His query caught everyone's minds, as they had all wondered the same thing not too long ago and were too distracted by Chris to keep it in mind...

* * *

Out of the game, as the set-up continued to count-down and the players kept preparing themselves, a pod was draining and its cryostasis was deactivating. The door slid open and the wires all unhooked as Izzy awkwardly stumbled out, covered in a thin layer of gel from head to toe.

"Ugh" she groaned. "Oh, ow, my brain. It feels like...a hornet nest is in my head..." Suddenly, Izzy was grabbed by sterilized gloves and carried across the floor to a large containment unit. She was thrown and locked inside. When she realized what was happening she tried to stand up, but the blood rushed to her head so quickly that she stumbled and had to lean against the wall. Just then, jets of water turned on from every possible angle, including where she was leaning, and she was forced into the middle of the room by the myriad of high-powered cleansing water currents. Above being unexpected and painful, it was extremely cold.

"Beginning temperate bath" a voice announced. Izzy had almost fallen over when a steaming-hot mist started to shoot out from all of the nozzles inside the walls and ceiling and floor. Izzy danced around, shouting in pain which was muted by the thick glass panel the sterilization team watched through. She fell over and started rolling around until the water stopped. After a few seconds of rest Izzy stood up with water still dripping from her reddened skin.

"Well" she said, "at least now I feel _awake_." An ice-cold mist came up immediately and stunned her. Her entire body started to sting with the sudden rush of temperate shift and she fell to her knees and shivered after only a few seconds. "I'd like to stop now" she said. "This is getting v-v-very p-p-painful..." The water stopped and a loud rush of warm air rushed out from every angle. Izzy was pushed up and hovered for a second from the sheer, incredible pressure of the air, then fell back down when it stopped. Dizzy, confused and in pain, Izzy remained laying on the floor of the containment unit until the large men in white hazmat suits entered to reclaim her.

"It wasn't me" she wearily said. "That cat blew _itself_ up..." She was carried over to yet another small box within the main laboratory and forced in. It was a small, shed-sized place with a round device surrounded by a long, continuous bench.

"Please sit" a soothing voice said. Izzy fell down and rested her head against her arms. "Please remove your clothes" the voice instructed. Izzy suddenly shot up, wide awake, and looked around.

"Where the hell am I?" she exclaimed.

"Don't be alarmed" the voice continued. "You were improperly de-synched from the game when you were booted from the server. Your body still has an improper amount of experimental cryogenic material stored inside of it."

"But I was just bathed!" Izzy complained. "Really, really hard!"

"Removal of the material must continue" the voice said "until it has been completely removed from your body. This experimental _SourceSL Sweat-inducing system_ will release the excess material still locked within your pores."

"So it's a sweat lodge?" Izzy said.

"Yes" the voice replied.

"Are there any cameras in here?" Izzy asked. "If there are, I think I need to sign something permitting you to watch it."

"There are no cameras" the voice replied. "Only a speaker so that we can instruct you."

"Are you sure?" Izzy said skeptically. "I don't trust voices that I hear from empty rooms so easily. You need to really _convince_ me that you're real, first!" The voice didn't immediately respond to her.

"We understand your suspicion" it said at length "but this is essential to the removal of what could develop into toxic chemicals within your body. If it makes you feel any better, you're getting a free spa-treatment as per the terms of your beta-testing contract."

"Well, I don't mind that" Izzy said. "Still, I'm not going to let my guard down. If I think I see a camera in the wall I'm going to rip it out and eat it!" A small drawer opened up from the wall where the door was.

"Place your clothes in the receptacle" the voice instructed "so they can be Steam-cleaned." Izzy kept her suspicions high, but obliged.

Outside the room, a few moments later, her clothes were taken from the drawer by a hazmat technician and placed inside a bag. As he walked away to deliver the contents to the Steam-cleaning lab, the rest of the team on the floor continued to duteously observe their virtual reality system in play.

"Everything looks good" spoke the leading bald scientist. "I predict an exhilarating game ahead of us, gents! A spectacle if there ever was one!"

"And lets not forget" his stout counterpart began "that this is not only a matter of virtual life and death, but a contest with very real repercussions held in the conditions of victory and defeat. Should the enemy defending the base prevail, our hosting test subjects will be subject to multiple life-ruining persecutions, possibly including mandatory jail time!"

"Precisely!" he replied. "That's why I'm betting my entire month's pay on the Purple team."

"No way!" another man shouted. "I'm betting on their loss on the last map! That's the best place for a dramatic-twist loss to occur!"

"I placed my bet" another man shouted from the upper level "that they lose on this map after the third cap. It just gets harder from there."

"This seems wrong to me" a beefier scientist began "but I'm betting that their offense falls and they get trapped in their spawn within a few minutes. I mean, why would I bet that? These kids could get screwed over for life if they lose!"

"You'd be coming out in the ten-thousands if you win" the stout man, now with calculator in hand, said.

"GET SOME!" the burly scientist roared. "You kids are going **DOOOOWWWWNNN!**"

"I love working here" the skinny man proclaimed with a tip of his glasses.

"Verily" his partner said. They bumped fists and made a blow-up motion out of them. The clock ticked down to the final ten seconds of set-up. In no time the next leg of the life-or-death match would begin with the never-ending offense facing off against an all-seeing defense...

* * *

Chris, whose camera was in first-person to the outside monitors, lowered his visor and was entered into a world of golden tint. In exchange for protection from frontal headshots, his vision was only slightly warped. Straight on, he saw perfectly well, but on the sides of the helmet visor his vision was warped along with the curve of the protective glass. He could see the aiming reticle for his laser gun standing out as bright white against the yellow. It was a tiny dot. When he switched to his pistol it was a cross with a dot in the middle. With his melee weapon out he saw a red light come on. When he moved closer to one of his allies, the light went yellow, obviously a range sensor. When he switched back to his laser, the light stayed yellow, and obviously it was to go green when he was near something worth hitting. That much seemed obvious.

At the bottom right of his HUD was a gauge of 'Fuel' for his jetpack and a 'Charge' bar of ammo for his gun. His health was maxed out at an overhealed 350, which DJ and the other Medics had given to everyone at a decreased decay rate. The match was just about to start. The last few seconds ticked down.

3...

2...

1!

**0!** The gate opened and a hellish stream of bullets suddenly began. Owen and Eva started stomping forward, under the fire of nearly every single enemy they had to face, while Courtney and Trent edged themselves out just enough to effectively counter-snipe the Snipers far away. Chris remained far in the back, barely able to see above the group of heads before him, waiting his chance to move out and fight. The Heavies slowly managed to push themselves forward through the fire, both being super-healed by all the Medics at once.

"I'm charged!" Gwen shouted. "Owen, let's go!" Owen let his gun spin down and equipped his fists. Gwen charged him and went running forward as Owen made a super-charged shoulder tackle into an enemy Heavy. The enemy exploded from the impact and Owen equipped his minigun again, now effectively within the enemy line and still glowing with invincibility. He and Eva took down a Heavy-Medic team that was ready to uber and a Pyro that was charging in from behind the side wall of the outside of their own spawn.

The PURPLE team managed to push themselves out of their own base and quickly went to their tasks. The Scouts hung back, constantly moving around and supporting the Heavies with quick pistol firing. The Soldiers took up flanks and rejoined with their Medics. Two Soldiers were per Medic as they went to the pocket strategy almost immediately. Justin took a wider flank, exercising his desire to roam, and supported by attacking the rocket-jumping Soldiers inbound with assault-rifle fire. The Engineers stayed far back and started building their teleporters. The Spies vanished and sped off for enemy lines. The Snipers continued to snipe and counter-snipe as the whole team made its way steadily up the sandy hill to the bunker.

"Alright" Chris said, finally coming out after all the action had ceased. "Time to see what I can do." He primed his laser and jumped. His jump continued on as his jetpack fuel powered him for five full seconds of free flight, ended by a slow hover back to the ground where he was forced to run again. He had already caught up with the main assault force and split apart from them, taking a low path beneath a rocky ridge toward a solid stone ramp as his fuel recharged. Suddenly, Chris found himself in a precarious situation, as a Pyro arrived from the same rock he ran towards and immediately targeted him. Chris fired his laser at full burst and managed to inflict a good sum of damage. However, the Pyro was still charging and lit Chris just before air-blasting him away. Chris was barely hurt, as his suit was fire-proof, but the Pyro switched to his shotgun and started to make a zigzagged retreat. Chris jumped to the side and fired his laser again, though he didn't hit as much as he wanted. He switched to his pistol and finished the Pyro off when he was reloading, just before he could retreat over the rock again.

"Cool" Chris said. "Well, now I know how good I can aim. Hopefully I don't have to fight anything that stressful again." Chris reloaded his pistol and equipped his laser again. He jet-jumped up over the rock and saw, in the distance, the second capture-bunker. Two groups of enemies, one of assault and the other of support, were already charging in from the second area. Chris saw that his team still wasn't up to the first point yet. They had reached a flat dip of the hill and were already assaulted from the left side by a sneak-attack of two Pyros. Chris turned back to the advancing troops just in time for his visor to shatter and his jets to fail. He fell down to his feet, alive and undamaged, having blocked a headshot at the expense of his tinted visor. Now he could see better and started a slow charge back to his team.

"Guys" he called over the radio, "you've got two groups incoming fast! One is mostly Heavies, some Soldiers and a few Demomen. The other is a bunch of Scouts, Snipers, Engineers and I think I saw some suspiciously out-of-place Pyros."

"We'll our guard up" Gwen said. Chris made his way to the incline and caught Courtney running toward the spawn. They passed each other, neither paying much attention to the other, but then Chris turned around and fired at Courtney on a whim. As it happened, his suspicions paid off and a Spy dropped dead on the ground! "Guys, they've got Spies already going to the spawn! Noah, you guys watch yourselves down there."

"Already on it" Noah said. "Keep pushing forward, guys."

"I've got a charge ready" Bridgette called. "Gwen, switch me quick!" Chris looked up and saw the huge battle already going on. The bullets were so thick that it was like a yellow cloud was moving between the two groups. Three enemy Heavies, one BLU and two RED, were perched atop a slightly higher ridge taking in the fire of the two PURPLE Heavies and three moving Soldiers. Just then to Soldiers rocket-jumped over the ridge and prepared for an aerial strike from above! Chris took aim and lasered one off course, then finished it off with his pistol. He reloaded and zoomed his pistol scope onto the other Soldier, who had fired and landed behind the group already. Gwen stopped healing just long enough to saw the Soldier to death from the side, then went back to healing before anyone's health dipped below a half-mark.

"Wow" Chris said. "These guys are good!" Chris aimed up at the Heavies on the ridge and opened fire. Each shot was dead-on, with Sniper-like accuracy, and each headshot dinged with a mini-critical marker. First one Heavy fell, then the second from rocket fire was gibbed into pieces. The third, however, was ubered and the remaining charging Pyros were backed by the Medics. With no Pyro of their own, or force necessary to stop Pyro flames, the kids were at a disadvantage. Katie was the first dead from Pyro fire. Sadie retaliated by blasting one away but was killed by the other from behind. DJ held his own but ultimately got killed when he was exposed too long to the Heavy fire, leaving Eva open to get roasted. Bridgette hit her with her uber just in time, activating her natural violent tendencies, and Eva grabbed the nearest Pyro just as his uber wore off and broke his neck with a quick wrist-jerk for an instant kill. Chris ran up and killed the fleeing Medic with his welding tool. The Medic burst into fire and died after two hits and a few seconds of afterburn.

"Sweeet" Chris said, gazing at his weapon. "Looks like I can set people on fire with this thing!"

"Noah, what's our time?" Gwen asked in a panic.

"Our clock started at eight minutes" Noah said. "Right now, we've got five minutes remaining."

"The respawn isn't too bad" Katie reported between spawns. "It's only, like ten seconds or so."

"That's great" Chris said. He took careful aim and helped to snipe down the remaining Heavy whose Medic ran away in a panic. "How about those teleporters, guys? You got those up and running yet?"

"Zeke's coming up with you guys" Noah said "to set up first. Cody and I will take a longer route and set up some surprises for the enemies."

"This is Heather" Heather called. "The support group has been downed."

"All of it?" Chris exclaimed.

"All of it" Heather replied.

"""

"Holy cow!" Chris exclaimed. "I'm glad these guys accepted me at the last second! I'd _hate_ to be their enemies _now!_"

"""

* * *

Far up in the final part of the map, overlooking the battlefield from across the expansive, dried gorge, the Producer held his hands together with his fingers woven in a nefarious way. He grinned evilly as he watched the myriad of camera positions following his AI troops to their positions. Within the first capture-point, a huge defensive array had already been built. Three Sentries and Engineers, two Heavies, two Spies laying patiently in dark corners, three Scouts and a single unknown machine up on the elevated area. A spherical device with a small radio antennae and a spinning joint off to the side that emitted colored waves of light. The Engineer standing next to the device held a team-colored glowing wrench, the same effect that an end-game victory rush had of granting **perpetual critical hits.**

"The **Amplifier**" the Producer lowed in his villainous voice. "A device accessible through a custom engineering code available only to those who have access to the exact programmable details of any given map. Any nearby allies will be under its effect of having **100% critical hits** so long as the device operates! Truly, of all of my modifications to this map and server, this shall prove to be my greatest one!" A Heavy moved between the Amplifier and Dispenser, then started spinning his red-glowing minigun. Infinite ammo, healing and constant critical hits. It was enough of a terribly cheap tactic to force the Producer to stand up on his improperly modeled legs and cackle madly! **"MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"** Then he sat down with a very stern and serious face and slouched into the back of his chair. "When is my new voice-pack going to be ready? I _hate_ sounding like a crazed super-villain..."

* * *

And so the match goes on! Can team PURPLE overcome what is to be one of their greatest hurdles? Will Chris get super-humanly better as he continues to fight? Is Izzy being secretly tapped against her will? _We_ certainly hope so, and we know _you_ do too! But you won't know until you find out next time on _Total Drama Team Fortress!_

PS. No, she's not. That'd be illegal. Hot, but illegal.


	74. DAMnation 5

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.

* * *

At the end of the uphill march, the offense team encountered their first obstacle inside the building: an offensive Sniper wielding The Huntsman bow-and-arrow. He darted out just to fire a blind arrow and made the lucky, full-power shot into Owen's overcharged head, depleting his entire heal buff and some of his own health.

"Well that's new" Owen said. He looked up at the arrow lodged in his skull and tried shaking it out. He aimed up and opened fire with Gwen diligently healing far behind. She and Bridgette kept the Heavies up at a greater distance to avoid the more dangerous battle. Eva used the last seconds of her uber to charge up the hill and peak into the base. She heard three simultaneous turret beeps and the whine of two miniguns spinning up.

"What's up, chuckles?" one of the Scouts, standing in plain sight with no defenses. Eva glared around at the surrounding defenses and let herself be blasted backwards by the tremendous pushing force of the bullets and rockets. She landed just as her uber wore off, the last one her team would have for a bit, and equipped her minigun.

"How's it look?" Gwen asked. Eva just sighed and shook her head. "Well, we're going in one way or another."

"What's our call?" Duncan asked from the back ranks of the front.

"You and Leshawna" Gwen said "take strategic positions with a clear sky-sight and use your mortars on the charging enemies."

"Yes, sir" Duncan said with a quick salute. He and Leshawna sped off while Geoff fled to cover them, but not before doubling back to Bridgette with a quick good-bye kiss.

"""

"He's such a sweetie" Bridgette said, "even when we're all in terrifying peril. I can see how he's so popular everywhere he goes. Even if he gets blown up he can smile and pump his arms about it, like he's having fun."

"""

Geoff and the Demos spread far out. Geoff rocket-jumped up onto the ridge and saw an incoming group of Scouts. He equipped his assault rifle and sprayed bullets their way. The group of three split apart and started pistol-sniping him from all sides. Geoff was ready to retreat when, suddenly, one of the Scouts was blown apart by nearby rocket fire. Geoff turned and saw Justin standing atop a loose formation of rocks. The cool gleam of light that reflected off of his exposed chest from his open flak-jacket went straight into the eyes of the Scouts, blinding and stunning them with awe over his beauty.

"Oh, come on!" Geoff exclaimed. "You're not even real! You're robots, or something! You can't fall for him!"

"Looks like they just did, pal" Justin said. He used his momentary stunningness to blow up the other Scout while Geoff finished off the last one. He smirked and turned to Justin with a quick salute to which the handsome boy replied with his own friendly salute.

"""

"If you've gotta hate someone for being pretty" Geoff began "then you need to have a wicked-strong constitution. I mean, Justin's a hot guy. Not many people, or robots, can resist him. So far as I know, Izzy was the only one, and Beth when she started to outdo him. And Gwen is really tight with Trent, so I don't think she'd go to him as quick. Owen's got...well, he's Owen, you know? He just blurbs stuff out...Man, I actually think it's a minority of dudes and chicks now that are wooed by Justin! Dang, that's a bring-down."

"""

Just when they thought things were all clear, Geoff got killed by a distant Sniper bullet. Clear from capture point two a sniper had aimed out the window and picked him off on the super-fat hillside.

"Boom" the bot lowed as he reloaded. "That'll teach you pikers to breathe my air."

"Yeah" said the sniper right next to him, "show those blokes whose boss." The Sniper turned to his mate quizzically and did a slight double-take to him.

"Have we met?" he asked. Then he died, stabbed through the gut by a sword.

"Not in this life" Harold said as his disguise slowly faded. He cloaked and moved, stalking the enemy spawn to capitalize on his perfect camping opportunity. None of the enemy team was any wiser to his ingenious plan, and he aimed to keep it that way. Across the map the second Spy was wreaking her havok by entering the first capture point disguised as a friendly Scout with a strolling, casual step. At first Heather had to hide her utter surprise over the sheer impassive threats that were mounted up against her team.

"Hey-yo!" she called in the Scout's distinct dialect. "Reinforcements: Here or no?"

"Yeah, no. I think we're covered" the Scout on center point said. "Hehe. You shoulda seen it. One of those nuts tried rushing in while charged, they couldn't move. Three Sentries and Heavy fire pushed them right back out again!"

"What schmucks" Heather said. She ran up to the upper level with the Heavies, two of the Engineers and the mysterious amplifier. She took note over its every working part and made sure to memorize everything she could about it."

"Hey boys, it's a Spy!" the Engineer called. "His weapon ain't glowing!" Heather looked down and saw her fake weapon indeed wasn't glowing like the Engineer's was. She acted fast. She applied a sap to the Amplifier and vanished into thin air.

"Run, coward!" the Heavy shouted. He opened totally random fire all across the room, hoping to hit the invisible Heather before she could get away. Suddenly, with a loud death-cry, Heather's body dropped from mid-run and fell with a deep gashing carve in its side. "Killing you babies is full-time job for me!" the Heavy announced. Suddenly, there came a loud roar of fire. Owen, now glowing with a bright and invincible light, came charging in and concentrated fire square on the Amplifier. The Engineer ran behind his device to keep it in check while the enemy Heavy shot perpetual critical hits at the entrance. Eva was behind Owen, pushing him forward with all her might against the current of pushing bullets.

"Come on, Owen!" Eva growled. "Use those legs like you really want it!"

"I'm trying!" Owen said. "It's way too hard to just do it!"

"Think about the food in there, Owen!" Gwen shouted, keeping his charge up from the side. "All the food those greedy bastards are hoarding away from us!"

"They've got _fooood?_" Owen lowed. Suddenly he was charged with incredible pushing energy and stomped straight through the fire to finally enter the base fully. From behind him Courtney managed to get sight on the Amplifier and equipped her electric bullets on the fly. She got one clean shot that stopped the device from working for a few moments. Trent came in from behind and fired an explosive round that blew it up completely. Without the Amplifier to super-power the attacking force of the defending team, The PURPLE offense managed to sink themselves into a proper foothold. Owen marched forward and killed the engineer just as he had shrank behind the Heavy to build another Amplifier. Then he turned his gun to the turrets still keeping him back. Eva popped out from behind him and aided him in focus-firing on one Sentry at a time. The uber wore off, however, and Owen's health went into a sharp decline. Faced with two double-gatling gun and cluster-rocket guns, Gwen found herself hard-pressed to maintain her healing rate.

"Be careful!" Bridgette shouted. She had her back to the open air. A very bad idea. A Spy, not even bothering with a disguise, got behind her and stabbed her in the back. Once Gwen noticed she too was stabbed by a quickly decloaked Spy and the Heavies were mowed down and blown up by the concentrated fire of both Sentires. Before the Spies could move to kill the Snipers, Courtney and Trent managed to silence the two remaining turrets with electric bullets. The damage blew one up, thankfully. The two retreated with their machine guns equipped and attempted to fight the Spies with their revolvers. As luck had it, the entire fray was just within Justin's range and he supported by launching guided rockets from his roost that saved Courtney and Trent from certain death.

"Alright" Courtney began, "it's up to us, Trent!"

"What about us?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah, we're still here" Tyler said.

"But you can't do anything!" Courtney shouted. The Scouts shrank back and let the girl vent by panting. "Duck in quick and shoot the Sentry down with electric bullets. I'll cover you from whatever's left.

"And I'll help too" Zeke said, suddenly there with little explanation. He threw down a teleporter next to the open entrance to the still unowned capture point. As he wrenched it he flashed a thumb-up to his teammates and soon had an operational teleporter up and running. Immediately, Sadie came through it and rejoined the fray. Courtney and Trent covered her as she ducked into the room under heavy Sentry fire and blew the machine to kingdom come.

"Sadle up, boys!" an Engineer shouted. The remaining two within charged Sadie with shotguns equipped and opened fire. The Scouts spread out and started circle-flanking Sadie with pistols at a range and Scatterguns when they approached.

"Batter-up!" one of the Scouts shouted. He took out a wooden bat and baseball and hit it from across the room square into Courtney's face. She stood stunned with starts circling her face for a second, just long enough for her cover of Trent and Sadie to be picked off by a Spy and Scout respectively.

"Bonjour" the Spy lowed as he slowly circled behind her.

"Merde" Courtney sighed just before getting painfully shanked.

"""

"I should have the choice to demand a better ratio for the enemy team!" Courtney protested. "There are far too many Spies that are invisible for way too long, and too many Engineers on defense! It's the worst possible strategy for defense as a last resort! It's downright cheap! There's no honor! No...tact to their tactic! It's plain contradictory!"

"""

* * *

Coming out of the gate from the original spawn, safeguarded by two turrets built by Noah and Cody that hadn't yet been tampered with, Katie boarded the blowing teleporter circle and was transported up to the first point with the rest of the team.

"Alright, now I'm here!" she announced. "Time to go in and kick some ass!" She charged into the room and got very quickly killed by a mass of scattergun fire. Zeke stayed out of the base and maintained his teleporter.

"""

"Eh, I'll leave the fighting up to the guys who're good at fighting" Zeke said. "I mean, I can fight too, just not that many dudes all at once, eh."

"""

Zeke heard something from behind and swung his wrench back in a sudden, instinctive flare. He smashed the face of a Spy and then followed up with a quick shotgun round as the Spy fell dead to the ground. He then went back nonchalantly to his teleporter, tapping it with his wrench to keep it up and in good repair.

"This is bogus, man" Tyler said. "C'mon Linds. We're going in!"

"Are you sure we should?" Lindsay asked. "I mean, everyone else is still in there, or they went out the other side already, or they're dead!"

"Who cares?" Tyler exclaimed. "They aren't capturing it yet, so whatever they're doing it's not good enough! Come on!" Lindsay paused and forced herself to think. Before she could carefully decide anything Geoff teleported in and hollered a battle-cry as he charged in. The Scouts circled him tightly and Geoff took the only plausible way out he could: a rocket-jump. He blew up two Scouts and injured the other while sacrificing himself. Now one Scout and two Engineers remained, and they were readily setting up their new base. Tyler's patience finally gave out and he cocked his shotgun.

"We're going in" he said. "Activate your super-speed shoes, babe!"

"Gotcha!" Lindsay said. With a click of her heels she became a blur and rushed forward with such speed that Tyler was knocked over by the blast of wind that followed her. Tyler scrambled to push himself up and followed her. Lindsay moved around the Scouts faster than they could turn and shot them off their feet. Tyler jumped up and smashed one out of the air with his perfect bat, killing him before he hit the ground. He ran up to an Engineer and ran straight through his pistol fire to hit him in the head so hard he flipped back twice before landing. Lindsay circled back and finished him off. There was still one Engineer left which Tyler and Lindsay teamed up to take down. Both had their bats out and their speed was wearing off. As they charged forward the Engineer equipped his wrench and prepared to counter-swing. He was stopped, however, by a sudden knife stuck into his hand that forced him to drop his weapon. Heather, having placed a fake-body when she was spotted, dropped down from the ceiling where she had hidden in plain sight and watched as Tyler and Lindsay effectively decapitated a man with a super-power tandem bat swing.

"Impressively done" Heather said. "I thought I'd have to do all the work again." Tyler and Lindsay turned to her and flashed two thumbs-up. They both got on the point and, unexpectedly, started a very quick capture rate.

"Whoo-hoo!" Lindsay cheered. "We did it! We're the best! We beat the rest!"

"That's right, babe!" Tyler said. "And, uh, thanks Heather." Heather waved it off and cloaked herself. She ran to check the rear entrance and saw a Medic-Pyro pair inbound alone. She retreated to the upper ledge of the small base and equipped her precise throwing knives.

"Incoming Pyro and Medic" she warned. "Keep your distance, you two. I'll help as much as I can from up here."

"Thanks, Heather!" Lindsay said. She equipped her burst-fire gun and retreated to the furthest position she could continue capturing from. Just then, Zeke came in with his shotgun equipped to back them all up. The Pyro charged in and was met with a nasty hail of fire.

"Mmf!" he shouted to his medic.

"Ya whol" the Medic replied. Heather made a daring dive into the battle and landed just beside the flamethrowing Pyro. She gave him a rising-punch as she stood from her crouch and engaged the Medic with her sword, separating the pair as the Medic defended himself with his bonesaw. The Scouts and Zeke moved around to keep the Pyro confused and eventually gunned him down. The Medic, however, kicked Heather against the wall and stabbed his saw into her, pinning and soon after killing her while he made a hasty retreat.

"Damn" Heather moaned just before she died. The Scouts and Zeke returned to center-point and captured the base, the first major leg of the battle already down.

"Aw, yeah!" Tyler shouted. "We're number one!"

"We rock, eh!" Zeke said. He became a bit grim when he realized that Heather couldn't add to their celebration, despite being the real savior by killing the Medic before he could uber. He shook his head, slowly, and stowed his hands into his hoodie pocket.

"Hey guys!" Lindsay called over the team-wide radio. "We did it! We totally pawned them and captured the point!"

"You sure did" Noah said, not bothering to correct her. "Now that that's done, Zeke, set up an exit and a good level turret inside that base. You can quick-build a teleporter if you have enough metal on hand and just throw it down anywhere in the middle-field. The clock is set to 12:32 now, so let's get moving!"

"Take your time" Harold said, his voice in a hush over the radio. "These guys are hardly going anywhere."

"Harold" Heather said, still dead, "are you camping?"

"Maaaybe" Harold said.

"Sneaky move, Harry" Chris said. "Very sneaky. I was wondering how I haven't been spotted yet. Keep those Snipers down for us, pal."

"I've got it under control" Harold said. Suddenly, there was a whooshing sound. "Oh no! They've switched to Pyro! **All of them! **It's horrible!"

"That doesn't sound too bad, eh" Zeke said. The door behind him opened up and out walked Bridgette and Eva, freshly respawned to their new point.

"Great" Eva said. "At least this'll speed things up."

"Did you respawn at the capture point?" Cody asked.

"Affirmative" Zeke replied. "Looks like it's our spawn now, eh?"

"That's absurdly good for us" Noah said "but I'm sure the trek across the field can more than make up for the very cheap ease of transport. Stay alert. Seems like we'll have a lot of fire-trouble coming up on us." Eva spun up her minigun with a vicious grin and started forward. Zeke destroyed both teleporters just as DJ, the last out of the first spawn, used it and began building his base. DJ healed everyone present and teamed up with Trent out of the spawn. The team slowly reassembled with Eva out in front acting as the door-guard to an approaching army of Pyros.

"Oh, wow!" Bridgette said in awe. From all the way across the field, a nearly straight shot from base to base with a deep dip in elevation and a narrow metal bridge over fast rushing water, a wave of RED and BLU color came with borders of flaming orange. A whole team of Pyros was incoming on a super-ridiculous offensive strategy, either the ploy of a madman whose tactics had all been exhausted or the hottest defense ever. The PURPLE team certainly had their work cut out for them. Twenty-so Pyros against a slowly regathering team of fighters...

* * *

Jumping from rock to rock, assisted by a fully fueled jetpack booster, Chris surveyed the expanse of the battlefield just ahead of where Noah cautiously patrolled. From above, Chris saw something moving below in the shadows of the rocky corridor. Chris jumped down with his space-welder equipped and saw a sneaky Sniper with a bow and arrow trying to sneak up on Noah from a distance.

"Nice try, pal" Chris said. Before the Sniper could turn and curse, Chris bore down on him with a fiery wrath, killing him in two hits with his impressive tool. Chris peeked out behind the Sniper's hiding spot and saw Noah still trying to choose an ideal building spot, still completely unaware that he had been in danger for a brief moment. Chris nodded and walked off into the open field. His helmet was still broken and his health was still a bit down from the damage he had sustained earlier. He found a health bottle and small ammo box floating nearby, in an opened ledge of rocks, and grabbed them both. The health cured his wounds and the ammo box fixed his visor. "Now let's see what we can see from here!" Chris edged himself carefully against one of the medium-sized rocks positioned near the steep grade of sand and lowered his visor for protection.

Then he saw it, the marching, flaming death, coming across the bridge. He reported it immediately.

"Uh, guys? Harold wasn't joking around about all the Pyros."

"No duh!" Harold exclaimed, still dead. "They must've gotten so fed up with my camping that they all decided to just nix clean strategy and do a Pyro rush."

"Sort of makes you miss someone, doesn't it?" Heather said.

"Whatever" Duncan said. He and Leshawna had taken up opposite sides of the ridge pathway. From one base to another there was a deep gorge where the water ran. Across that was a metal-grate bridge that seemed to run the length of the river. Going from point one there was a slight snaking of the path and many rocks bordering the sides, some of them forming walls that blocked point two from view. Once across the bridge, the path was straight and much more narrow. Rocks were lodged into the dirt and sand forming many ledges where ambushes and surprise sentries could be placed. Near point one, on top of two large and flat rocks that led slightly upward as ideal open Sniping roosts, Duncan and Leshawna had set up their shop with mortars at the ready after their point had been captured.

"What's the time-frame we're looking at?" Leshawna asked.

"The what?" Duncan replied, communicating with her on a private channel.

"You know" Leshawna said. "From when we fire to when they get hit, how much time will it take?"

"That's the red number in your scope" Duncan said "in seconds." Leshawna saw the number as she continued aiming further and further out. It stopped at 9.99.

"What gives?" Leshawna asked.

"Ten's the most seconds you can do" Duncan said. "Anything more than that is just useless and redundant."

"Well how far away is that?" Leshawna asked.

"Green number" Duncan said. "I've got a better idea. I'll shoot a sticky mine, and you aim at it. When I saw to fire, we both fire and our mortars will land around the area of that sticky mine. If we time it right, we should be able to kill all of the Pyros at once."

"Alright" Leshawna said. "Go to it, then."

"""

"Leshawna's being a bit too snippy with me" Duncan said. "She should be thanking me. No one told me how to work all this crap. I had to figure it out for myself, and when I did, I was pretty much unstoppable as far as long-range assaults went."

"""

Duncan carefully aimed his mortar to fire a simple stick mine which landed just within sight. At the first sign of the elevation dropping, just within range of the first bend in the path his mine armed and flashed bright enough to see from the distance. Leshawna lined her sight up and aimed at the area around the sticky, just close enough so that her shot would not be at any chance to hit the nearby rock that formed a sort of shelf.

"You two might wanna get some cover" Duncan called, referencing Noah and Cody. "If those Pyros see you you're as good as barbeque."

"That won't be too big of a problem" Cody said. "We've built ourselves quite the defense array here."

"Half of them should be dead before they round that last bend" Noah said. "The rest of them, well, it's not a shooter for nothing. Just attacking them at a range will screw them up enough to put a permanent wrench into their plans."

"For now" Leshawna said. "Once they're done screwing around we'll be fighting all the different classes again."

"Most likely" Noah said.

"Man, Harold" Chris began, "you died at the worst possible time!"

"No I didn't!" Harold hotly defended. "I stayed alive and active during the _best_ possible times, while you just flew around and stayed out of sight."

"I was scouting" Chris coolly argued. "That's what I was ordered to do: explore the limits of the new class and use my flying powers to get an eagles-eye view of things." Harold respawned with a scowl but sighed it away as an unimportant thing. Chris made a flying leap from one tall rock to another and spotted the marching horde as they rounded the first of three bends in the path. Then, as Chris scanned down to his landing zone, he spotted something simply fantastic. He landed, his gets forced to cool and refuel, and walked eagerly toward a certain hovering box.

"Say Noah" Chris began. "Just a thought, here. What do you think my **grenades** will look like?"

Noah smirked. "They'll probably be something cool, Chris. Here's to hoping we can find out soon." Noah, Cody, even Duncan and Leshawna and all the Pyros heard the same equipment click. Even the Producer heard it. It was a map-wide event that happened. The Astronaut, an already powerful addition to the game, picked up something far more deadly: **his class grenades!** Small and with a single arming button on the top. He had only three but aimed to use one in the best possible way. He edged himself up to the end of his rocky ledge, one that couldn't normally be accessed and had a huge overview of the entire field, and was spotted by the company of Pyros. One called to the others and all their shotguns were equipped. Chris was under the heavy fire of a mob of maniacs, some of whom played air-guitar with their axes rather than reload normally.

"You better do something awesome" Chris said. He armed a grenade and chucked it as hard as he could toward the crowd. It fell for three seconds through the air, as fast as it had been thrown, then stopped suddenly and hung in the air, beeping near the Pyro legion. The bots all turned to look at it, like it was some spectacular thing they'd never seen, like monkeys staring at an obelisk. One Pyro approached it and was picked up off his feet. A low whining sound became higher and higher pitched, and the Pyro was pulled toward the grenade. His body collapsed and bent around the small metal sphere as it beeped and whined louder and louder.

Then, suddenly, a humungous burst of energy. A cloud of lightning extended from the ball, just far enough to char-fry the Pryo's body, but the pushing power of the explosion that followed was enough to push the entire company backwards. Chris observed it all without the aid of his pistol scope. The scale of destruction seemed incalculable. A huge rock toppled over and crushed a slow-crawling Pyro underneath its weight. Already two Pyros were down with one attack, to which Chris could only say one thing:

"""

"That. Was. **AAAAWESOOOOME!**"

"""

* * *

And, while all of the fighting and action happened, Chef and Izzy were forced to do nothing but watch, both garbed in insulated bathrobes to warm their bones. Izzy was drowsy from her dehydrating session in the sweat-lodge and had her arm connected to an IC drip. Chef, having undergone nearly the same treatment, sat at attention in an army camouflage robe, impatiently watching the many screens as they flashed with bullets and blood and general pain. Suddenly Chef stood up and his chair was pushed back by the force of his rise.

"That's it!" he exclaimed. "I demand to know why I'm still waiting out here like a civilian! I'm a soldier, dammit! Put me back in the game!"

"We'd very much like to" the tall, skinny scientist proclaimed, "but we currently lack that ability."

"You got Chris in the game!" Chef argued. "What was up with that?"

"His machine's IP hadn't been blocked" the stout scientist explained "and therefore it was much easier for us to hack him in. You see, these servers aren't meant for all-out super-wars like this yet. In a game like _TF2_, you have to concentrate the quality of play over the quantity of the players. That's why we have 32 set as the highest possible limit to any given server, to keep the overload of players down. This game, however, is severely altered from within to support not just two teams but three, and one of those teams has 22 players. Bearing in mind that the maximum is set to 32, that means that the enemy teams should be able to have a maximum of 16 bots each, totaling to outnumber the human players by 10. However, we've run the numbers from the scoreboard, and it seems that both teams are evenly set to 22, meaning that the RED and BLU teams have a spawn cap of eleven each to keep the server size at a hacked 44. When Izzy was booted it left a small gap in the frame that had to be filled as quickly as possible, before it was taken up by another bot. To increase the player size would mean an increase to both teams and can only be done normally between rounds. Now, we're working as hard as we can, but our hacking skills are only so much as to read the code that allows us to understand what problem there is, not so much as how to emulate the same procedure to attain similar results."

"I don't understand anything you just said" Chef growled "but so help me, you'd better get me into that action as quickly as your stubby fingers can type, son. I'm fixin to unleash a whole hell of rage, and **I've got no problem doing it here.**"

"Wait" Izzy proclaimed as she warily stood up. "I think I can help."

"But how?" the skinny man said. "Sure, you're a kick-ass diva of destruction, but what do you know of hacking?"

"I've hacked things before" Izzy said. "Like government things. _Georgian_ government things."

"The state?" a scientist asked.

"The_ country!_" Izzy lowed. There was a general confusion in the room, as if everyone had just found out there was a country called _Georgia_ and that it had an online database worth accessing. "I've read the secrets that could topple an entire nation! Things that people get killed and kill over! I can do this! I can surely hack into the simple server structure of an online video game and alter the already altered player-cap! I mean, I _understand_ what I have to do. Isn't that enough of a start?" The two leading men looked at each other, at first skeptical, then nodded to her. "Goody!" Izzy exclaimed with a hop. Chef shook his head to the side. He was in a state of denial, for whatever reason, perhaps that his apparent helper was a girl so completely out of her mind that she had forgotten to clothe herself under her robe, defeating the purpose of the blanket itself to keep her warm as she readjusted to normal room temperature.

* * *

We all must ask ourselves: when will the war end? When will the sons and daughters return home to their parents, safe and sound save for the scars of war they wear inside? Will the torment of battle never end? Is their goal too impossible to be achieved? If they are smart young soldiers, they shall overcome it all. Then again, we know who these soldiers are. 'Smart' is a loose term for these kids. Tune in next time as the battle continues! This is _Total._

_Drama.  
Team Fortress!_


End file.
